ZETAZEN

My life

2015-04-11T07:21:00.003-04:00

Moment

2014-07-14T09:24:00.000-04:00

That moment when everything changed,

Again.

And the moments will keep changing.

It's inevitable.

It's really something when you can remember

That one moment when everything changed,

Again.

© 2014 ZETAZEN

This moment...

2014-07-13T17:57:00.002-04:00

Fuck You

Period

The Three Ls

2014-07-12T12:46:00.000-04:00

NOW

Where's the Life Instruction Manual?

2014-07-08T23:10:00.000-04:00

The greatest thing I can say about my life

I am not perfect

Doesn't matter what day it is

I can honestly say

I know all is well

Despite the fact

I don't know what I'm doing

© 2014 ZETAZEN

You're Beyond Repair

2014-07-01T21:12:00.001-04:00

You just get tired, You don't know what to do
You want things to change, You're tired of what's been given to you
You want more out of life, You see others getting it too
You wonder how you can get your share
You wonder how your life became beyond repair

© 2014 ZETAZEN

Games, That's What They Play

2014-06-27T06:48:00.002-04:00

Don't know me
Thought you could hurt me
Playing silly games
But I'm over the hurt
And the pain

Tried to treat me like nothing
I didn't see it coming
So I believed it
Feeling the fire was something

Love doesn't hurt
Love doesn't pain
Love is not a game

Love is beauty in the eyes of kindness
Love is is the light that shines through my body
Love is internal
Love is what helped me get over the shame

I grew from this pain
Flipped the game
Now you're crying
Because you lost this dame

© 2014 ZETAZEN

Thinking

2014-06-25T15:21:00.000-04:00

All I really want is

ONE.

© 2014 ZETAZEN

Ocean of Love

2014-06-24T06:44:00.000-04:00

The most agonizing thing

is to put yourself

out in the middle

way beyond the comfort

of the shore

in the ocean of love -

And feel like there isn't anyone

To save you from the drift.....
© 2014 ZETAZEN

Message from self....

2014-06-21T17:40:00.002-04:00

MESSAGE!

Let Go

2014-06-21T17:18:00.000-04:00

Why is it so hard to let go?
Why can't I just let go?
I thought I had let go?
In some respects I did let go.
In other, I'm still secretly holding on.
The only reason I'm okay with it...
Is because I've admitted to myself,
I still care.
If not a lot, just a tad.
© 2014 ZETAZEN

User

2014-06-18T05:18:00.001-04:00

Tainted lips
Web of lies
Open mouth
Out come flies

Dark thoughts
No light within
The sickness
Is gin

Then it's sin

Cheating heart
Bleeding mind
Stupid and dumb
All at the same time

The game is played
Essence is weak
Does stuff like the Jones'
Follows like a sheep

Remind Myself

2014-06-17T06:49:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I have to remind myself
I no longer have to deal
Sometimes I have to remind myself
That's not my trouble
Sometimes I have to remind myself
I am free from the pain
Sometimes I have to remind myself
That's not my problem
Sometimes I have to remind myself
I am stronger
Sometimes I have to remind myself
I am wiser
Sometimes I have to remind myself
I came through the storm
Sometimes I have to remind myself
I am happier
Sometimes I have to remind myself
I am pure love
Sometimes I have to remind myself
I am a spiritual being
Sometimes I have to remind myself
I didn't lose anything I gained everything

© 2014 ZETAZEN

Old To New

2014-03-24T18:07:00.000-04:00

Caught up in the...confusion
It's an illusion
It isn't real
It's borrowed, stolen time
Wish I get back what I thought was mine
It wouldn't be the same
You can never regain
The past
It was a moment for it to last

It's okay now
Moving on my way now
See the future bright ahead of me now
I'm living in the power of now

Got a new vibe
About to show my vibration
Set my frequency
To being the best I can be
I'm on my way
Shining like the sun
I am free

© 2014 ZETAZEN

Bridge

2013-10-16T13:22:00.001-04:00

I met you
You met me
But now I don't understand
Where we should be

I decided to like you
You decided to like me
I was taking a chance
A chance I didn't know existed

Talk is small
After talk was big
Now talk is gone

I'm moving on
It was fun
It was a bridge
Other side here I come

© 2013 ZETAZEN

Moving Forward

2013-05-05T00:27:00.001-04:00

I'm done.

I remember

2013-05-03T09:33:00.000-04:00

Time has passed
Days have gone
My love for you remains strong

Deep within my soulI feel a warmth... A glow
I want to let it shine
But my heart isn't whole

I miss our talks
Our trips, our walks
The flowers, the cards, the gifts
Time we shared and what not

I look at what's left and I reminisce
What we could have become if this didn't end

I see your face in all that I do
This is my truth
As I remember what we use to do

© 2013 ZETAZEN

ZETAZEN's Poetry Spot

2013-04-22T13:01:00.002-04:00

This was my very first blog...but I shut it down and moved it to my main website. Now I've decided to rededicate this space to my poetry.

Updating Websites

2013-04-22T12:10:00.001-04:00

Re-doing domain set ups for my websites. http://www.michellescarey.com main website. No longer Tumblr. http://www.zetazen.com is a poetry blog. Is now here. http://www.chellecarey.com is Tumblr. New domain. http://www.michellesweenycarey.com is the same. Thanks for your patience as my web team works this out.

What's up with all this calling?

2009-02-04T19:01:00.002-05:00

He called again today. We had a nice conversation. lol OMG that man makes smile... STILL. I've got to get over this. I have a BF! Damn, did I just have to remind myself. It's not about sex. I don't even want to have sex with the ex. Only because I'm loving what my BF is supplying....but my ex is in my mind....

This has to end. I've moved on.

*singing* Keep on moving....don't stop nooooo....

2 hours late

2009-02-04T06:45:00.002-05:00

The kids school is opening two hours late. But what's the point of me driving all the way to work at 11am? Just for me to turn around at 3:30pm to come back home.

I really need to work from home more often. It would make my life easier.

Simplistically Complicated

2009-02-03T17:33:00.005-05:00

Yes, that would be me. One moment I'm simplistic...another moment I am complicated. lol hmmm that is me all the way!

Today I received an enlightening phone call from my ex...I love it when he makes me laugh. It's those moments I care about him the most.

What? What did I just say? When I care about him the most.... Huh? WTF?

{enter sound effect} SLAP! WAKE THE FAWK UP CHICK!

Reality hits. We are not together. grrrr.

Oh that's right I have a BF. LMAO :-) The one I don't call. The one I haven't spoken to since LAST Friday...no wait Saturday afternoon. Hey wait a minute...something's missing here....hell, he hasn't called me either. LMAOOOOOO Do I care? Naaaaaahhhh....I guess I'll call him tonight...then again I probably won't. I care about my BF. I do. I wish no harm to him. I don't pressure him. He doesn't pressure me.

But with my ex...I NEVER would have allowed him to get away without calling me at least every other day. I'd be miffed if my ex didn't call me.

I just want some real talk from him. I just want him to say what he's never been able to say to me all these years...the truth. Real talk. Not that everyday bullshit, but the "I want to open my soul" to you kinda words. I just want him to give me credit for the patience and understanding I've exercised over the last 6 1/2 years.

It doesn't mean we'd get back together, it just means I want to hear his soul.

7 things about me requested by mUdd...

2009-02-03T06:51:00.003-05:00

And old friend of mine from the Russ Parr Message Board tagged me to tell 7 interesting things about myself....I posted this on his blog [http://seeyouin1984.com/] originally, but I decided to do a cut n paste for my own blog.

However, I've also taken the time after some reflection to add some more information. (see section where it says EDIT)

ZETAZEN Says:
January 29th, 2009 at 11:17 pm

1. I am a writer. I write screenplays and poetry. I’d really like to get my break into Hollywood writing industry. I have written three screenplays thus far and I have a keen TV pilot stuck in my dome. It’s a tough business. I even went back to school to receive my third master degree in Creative Writing.

2. Although, I am a mother of two daughters ages 11 and 6, I really don’t like kids that much. lol I really don’t like doing first grade homework. My children are 5 years apart, so I’m looking forward to when my youngest one is 10 years old. I think that’s when I’ll appreciate them more…but guess what I love babies up until 2 years old. lol Go figure.

3. My boyfriend is white and he’s 10 years my junior. I care him about deeply, but I think on some days I miss my ex-boyfriend. He and I are still friends. I met him on RPMB and he caused a lot of unnecessary and useless drama with all this womanizing ways. Now why would I miss that? I don’t miss the drama, I miss the closeness we shared, when he was being him and not some internet whore lover. Doesn’t matter, I’ve moved on. *I think* lol

Edit// 2/3/09 I've now decided I don't want to be friends with him anymore (my ex). Being friends with him serves me no purpose. Our relationship/friendship is emotionally crippling. I feel like he and I are sitting in this dingy in the middle of the ocean. I look him and see that he's not trying to save us, but save himself. I see another dingy. So I jump ship. Swim out to this other boat and I feel that I'm rescued. And as I begin to drift away from him, I noticed that my new "savior" was just my interim boat to the one in the distance. But I call out to him, my ex, as we drift further apart, but the response I hear is shallow and faint. I turn my back as my new "savior" attempts to bring me to safety. In the far distance, I see an empty dingy...that's were I want to be until the right "savior" comes along.

4. I’m addicted to the internet. I DVR my favorite shows and rarely does my TV come on during the week because I’m on the computer. I have two working Sony Vaio laptops in my bedroom. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know. I have different purposes for each.

5. I just turned 38 on January 21 and I’ve never been married. Sometimes that bothers me.

6. I just turned 38 on January 21 and I’ve never been married. Sometimes I’m strangely happy about that. I live my life and I don’t have to compromise about anything to anyone for any reason. I spend, I save, I sleep in the middle of my bed and I HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER THE REMOTE.

7. I am complicated.

how to be a twitter power user!

2009-02-03T06:17:00.001-05:00

Found this video very interesting regarding Twitter and how to use it.

Bitter

2009-02-02T08:45:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling very bitter this morning. Feeling some anxiety.