‘AtInUs

Anonymity

2025-09-18T00:04:00.001+05:30

The depth is there in each one of us… ‘realizing’ it in myriad ways — work, home, family, calling, etc. Whether words or deeds, this depth never fails to ‘touch’ another, filling a void in ourselves.

‘Anonymity’ from what? It’s like a child closing his eyes believing no one can see him. And though most of us grow up to be no different… still, how can there ever be complete anonymity — from ourselves… from the ‘light’ within?

All that ‘anger’ is aimed at whom? For can’t you see it is only ‘destroying’ you?

Hold on to that part of your soul that still belongs to you — not marred or destroyed by the ‘outside’. Don’t let your whole life revolve around ‘reacting’. Live your life the way you would have wanted it to be.

I know nothing of your life, am in no way equipped to ‘comment’… and it’s so much easier to give advice than to follow it. But one thing I do believe — and that is, no one can help us… but ourselves.

I know it’s damned easy to talk… and parables only jar when faced with ‘experience’ — and I am sorry… whoever has hurt you so crushingly. All I can say is: why play into their hands? Why give them the satisfaction of seeing you ‘shatter’?

However many fingers point at a person, your ‘reaction’ becomes a reflection in their hearts. None of those ‘fingers’ owe you anything — but you do. So take hold of your life… and to hell with what anyone else thinks. The ‘truth’ in a seven-year-old daughter’s eyes is all that matters… and the only thing worth fighting for.

Hope this message affects enough to make a difference.

Sunshine - warms and burns

2025-09-17T23:57:00.004+05:30

Words aren't always able to express the subtle nuances of Experience.. Each finding our own substance as per our readiness for it.. striking a different note a different connotation at different moments.. like the same sunshine warms in winter and burns in summer..

Moment past

2025-09-17T23:55:00.004+05:30

No one can — or should — run away from their past. But to live in it imprisons one in a time capsule. History translates into a series of learning experiences, contrite or otherwise. And its major role in our lives is to move on — with it, to learn from it — not to hold on, or stay.

For a moment that is past can only be redeemed in the present.

Static in between

2025-09-17T23:50:00.005+05:30

Every time we speak on the phone and the reception is bad, we start sounding irritable, impatient, needing to shut the conversation fast because it gets impossible to understand anything.. The same thing happens in relationships.. When we cant 'connect' or 'understand' another, the same feelings of impatience and irritability arise.. But can both be easily sorted by retrying or removing the static in between..

Escapism

2025-09-11T13:35:00.000+05:30

Sept15,2016

Today is anand chaudas, our non water fast.. Most of us fast, but without understanding why.. Is it the inherent faith.. Is it the ritual.. Is it a belief system.. A penance.. A sacrifice.. Or a cleansing.. Or purifying.. Of body and mind.. Maybe a bit of everything making it a means of giving up the negativity within.. Escapism also seems to be inherent in most of us.. From things.. Situations.. Circumstances.. People.. Life itself.. But how do you escape from things that are in your own mind.. You stop running.. You face the issues in your mind.. Listen.. Understand.. And help your mind let go of the troubled thoughts.. Gifting it hope.. Trust.. Faith and confidence instead.. Lately i have felt really distanced from myself.. Like a straw buffeted around by everything around.. Seeing mom suffer like that.. The helplessness.. that traumatic time with family.. Have all come together as a protest.. A disquiet.. Infinite questions.. That need to be answered not by running.. But by stopping to face them.. I miss her breakingly.. Its like my very essence has been shaken.. She has been the rock in my life.. A loving lap where you know nothing in the world can harm you.. Where you just cant go wrong.. Bringing out only pure beauty.. And strength.. More and more i realize we need to coach our minds.. Our education system definitely has to incorporate this as a part of the curriculum right from childhood.. How to deal with your own mind..

6:54 AM

Unravelling

2025-09-11T13:34:00.002+05:30

Sept23,2016

This unraveling has to stop.. And no one else can do it except me.. I see and hear a stranger.. I feel like one too.. denying portions of myself.. listless.. Soulless.. Aimless.. grieving.. Where and what has shifted inside.. What am i not able to understand.. If i protest my life.. Then why am i making it worse.. The only person that needs changing is myself.. I am meant to change situations, not let situations change me.. Be happy, as a natural state of mind.. What is the worst that can happen, that wasn't meant to be.. Each time we fall sick we readily take a pill, an injection, a surgical procedure.. Because we know they are meant towards a cure.. Why cant we accept the difficulties of life in the same way.. I love my kids and i need to give them the assured security and trust of control.. A faith that everything will be ok.. More and more the strangeness creeps in.. A shadow that makes my words fade away bit by bit.. And i want to speak.. To write.. The story in my soul.. Visibly sifting through a handful of letters.. Unaware of the lyrics melting into the silence of rhythmic poetry.. Unseen.. Unheard.. Unformed.. But there.. Waiting to be touched.. Waiting to be felt.. Waiting to be transformed once again..

6:36 AM

Life imitates fiction or vice versa

2025-09-09T12:19:00.002+05:30

When life imitates fiction, it feels spooky, but when fiction imitates life it feels wondrous! Such an uncanny co-incidence, with the ship wrecks, but having the exact same name is truly unsettling, underlining its value and import as pivotal to our story. Kudos to Yann Martel’s research, giving symbolic and layered meaning to the name of the Tiger - Richard Parker. Reading really opens us to the deeper layers of life

Travel in our minds

2025-09-09T12:18:00.001+05:30

We are conditioned to prepare for the worst case scenarios, and in doing so we visit every such possibility, live through each one of them in our minds, trying to face and deal without anything taking us by surprise. But i wonder if we need to travel in our minds, then why the worst? Why not the best possibilities and probabilities? Such a waste of our time and energy, creating our own reality, through imagined hells. Love that the clarity in words always compels a response.

Blushing rose gold sea

2025-09-09T12:14:00.005+05:30

The sky dips its brush in sunshine and paints a white canvas as Nature breaks out in colourful song..

The breeze danced in patterns of rhythmic footprints, all over the skin of the blushing rose gold sea.. pirouetting my heart with frissons of rapture, racing with the fiery hues of the setting sun

I saw the sea quivering as the breeze whispered sweet nothings in its ear

I saw the sea glistening bathed in the hues of the sun

Every ray of sunshine weaves a carpet of diamonds leaving spellbound stories in its wake

The sea is burning with passionate fire, at the whispers of kisses the rays sultrily ignite across its waves

Looking back

2025-09-09T12:05:00.000+05:30

Just this morning listening to Eckhart Tolle speak about suffering and Christ, and the Cross being a torture symbol initially, symbolising suffering, later became a symbol of Divinity for every person in the Universe.

I have always felt that each hurdle or setback, becomes a medal on hindsight, where first we rue the moment or situation, and later once we come out of it, we extol proudly our journey and accomplishment.

Moments of worry

2025-09-09T12:04:00.003+05:30

Every moment of worry just tell yourself :

This is my imagined perception

This is depleting my energy

This is ruining my health

This is alienating me from any solution

This is not helping anyone at all

This thought is what i need to replace

With a positive energy that pervades, that believes, that emanates, that heals

Dhritrarashtra

2025-09-09T12:03:00.003+05:30

Dhritrashtra and his wife speak of the results of negative parenting destroying entire generations

Speak of the results of negative relationship and the importance of two individuals in a marriage, instead of becoming mute, deaf or blind like the other

Kunti speaks of the need to take responsibility for our actions specially when we bring a life into this world

All the elders of kuru clan speak of the necessity of having responsibility towards correcting and directing the future generations

Nature romancing

2025-09-09T12:01:00.005+05:30

The wind in my hair spreads its love

The water through my fingers flows its love

The sun on my skin paints its love

The moon in my eyes flaunts its love

The Earth beneath my feet caresses its love

The Nature all around romances its love

End of the world!

2025-09-08T17:38:00.003+05:30

5 lives as a child, wow! I wanted to be a journalist, a lawyer, a detective, a pop singer, an archaeologist, and so much more. Each somewhere represents the need to seek and explore, to find answers, to create and to let go.

Just the possibility to go back in time makes you re-think your life, and the foremost urge would be, telling your loved ones, who are no more with you, how much you love them. Spending more time with them, being more attentive to them, giving value to their presence, their importance in your life. But the possibility of going forward is still there, transforming that wistful regret, into a resolve, that ensures your becoming the reason for everyone’s smiles, investing all of yourself, every moment of your life.

Let us stop blaming others and take responsibility for our own life. Every person and situation entering our life is there to direct our journey. Blame imprisons us, blocking our path ahead. Looking at the troublesome aspects of our life, we need to understand the lesson therein, and resolve the problems with clarity, humility, compassion and acceptance of the given reality.

Today i loaded this app to get back to writing daily. There are so many things on our mind, all the time, wherever i look, the wheels of our minds are always turning. The problem at hand is nearly always dealt with, by past experiences colouring future scenarios, everything a figment of a fleeting thought, that our minds registered as real and concrete, an imaginary eventuality creating hells of a present that signifies the reality of life as one of an experienced turmoil and angst.

The strange thing is that we know it’s all in our mind, and yet we are not able come out of that anguish, no explanations, no amount of talking calms the rising panic of that one thought we can’t look away from. Despite realising the normalcy of the previous moment, and the supposed ‘reality’ of the next one.

Every problem can mean a blessing or a curse - blessing because we can see our journey so far was preparing us to keep things from being worse, attending to it as a passing guest. And curse because, we are unable to see beyond the problem and live with it as a permanent resident.

Seemingly the end of the World, such moments too pass away, sometimes leaving scars in our memories, sometimes becoming medals of achievement, each unreal, each lived, each determining the road map of our life.

Just for me

2025-09-08T17:32:00.001+05:30

And as i sat meditative and desperately seeking the untouched, unfelt, unknown

The sky painted in pink

The breeze whispered and nudged

The birds sang serenely

The flowers softened their expressions

The sea deepened secretively

And i wondered at this poetry

They were Writing.. just for me

Flow of time

2025-09-08T17:31:00.005+05:30

We stare at this frozen drop

of relentless years -

Waiting for it to thaw,

To drench,

To slake.

We wonder at the frenzied rush,

throwing moments away,

waiting

for that one glimpse,

of melting -

the suspended dream.

We Watch it Spill into our life

like a blessing,

held gently in the hands of time,

waiting

for us to believe,

to not give up,

to be ready-

to receive.

9 April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:13:00.008+05:30

I am grateful to Ma for her Prasad and helping the quietening of the mind.

To H for not insisting for something

To the trees for showering flowers on us, for creating carpets of varying hues snd fragrances, uplifting, loving, beautiful.

To all S’s friends for making me laugh so much, for sharing their happy moments so easily and openly.

8 April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:13:00.002+05:30

I am grateful to be there for a friend in time of need

I am grateful for shared family conversations

I am grateful to Ma for showing me the way

I am grateful for every smile a stranger shares on my walks

I am grateful for the glimpse of a fresh dawn everyday

I am grateful to the need to educate myself every moment, to the ability and enthusiasm for an exciting take on life, thinking, doing, something different, or the same differently

I am grateful for the ability to find beauty even in the everyday mundane things, and share the same with a conviction that creates ripples of wonder, positivity and conviction.

7 April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:12:00.001+05:30

I am grateful to Ma for this Life

I am grateful to the pigeons, for making my heart soar in joy and wonder each time they take flight in hundreds together, amidst a deafening sound of winged rolling drums, to a dance of free moves in sync with each other’s heartbeats.

I am grateful to M for all her help in the kitchen and my coffee and food. For being such a wonderful daughter, taking care of Her Dad like a Mother.

I am grateful to the sun for rising in stupendous flashes of bright and muted colours, unmatched, a painting we all draw afresh in our hearts, turning into unique Artists ourselves.

I am grateful to S for filling every walk with words of companionship, love, laughter and security.

I am grateful to the Entertainment Industry for putting in so much hard work, creating animated stories meant to weave into our own lives uniquely.

6 April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:11:00.004+05:30

I am grateful to Ma for always being there for me, for the best conversations i have ever had, for not judging, criticising nor blaming, giving only pure love and light.

I am grateful to M for the coffee and food, everyday helping me break fast, enabling my heart to smile in her.

I am grateful to S for our morning walks, for making me laugh so much, for indulging all my wishes, from clicks to pigeons to sea gulls to trees to lamp posts to sea to sunrise to boats to lighthouses to cows.. everything.

I am grateful to the Cows, for letting me feed them, for giving so much back to us, for being the sacred healing being, who harms none, despite the size, and just gives, all of itself.

I am grateful to google for giving all my thoughts and words space and home.

5 April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:10:00.006+05:30

I am grateful to headset for curing my headaches so fast

I am grateful to the pigeons for giving me a reason to smile everyday, my heart soaring each time they take flight, beating joyously to the flap of their wings.

I am grateful to S for the morning walk full of laughter, rumination, teasing, and shared companionship.

I am grateful to the Cows for making me so happy as they spear out their tongue to take food from my hand, looking on with wisened doe eyes, fulfilling my heart each time.

I am grateful to M for the coffee and food and company, making me so proud every moment every day.

I am grateful to our friends for gifting another Buddha to bless our home

I am grateful to Ma, for her love, the puja, letting us breathe in her, breathing in each one of us.

I am grateful to the view from my window, filling the entire day with hues of changing light that uplift and compel.

I am grateful to the Sun for painting unique Dawns, hushing my heart into rapt attention, tip toeing with its quiet steps.

4 April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:10:00.001+05:30

I am grateful to Ma for giving me the ability to write and give expression to all my experiences within and without

I am grateful to Ma for listening to me with love and forgiveness

I am grateful to my kids for the joy they instil in my heart every moment, making me laugh, doing little heart stopping things for me, giving life fresh meaning everyday.

I am grateful to H for cooking dinner, despite coming home from a long day at work.

I am grateful to google for creating the wonderful mail facility, and enabling blogging, giving writers a home without any space constraint.

I am grateful to Ma for the food on our table and roof over our heads.

I am grateful for every drop of water that i drink.

I am grateful for the blessings every fresh day brings.

3 April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:09:00.002+05:30

I am grateful to Ma for guiding me positively throughout the day.

I am grateful to my children for always looking out for me.

I am grateful to the Universe for enabling us enough to give back in some way.

I am grateful to the parrots for making me so happy, eating at our house everyday.

2. April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:08:00.005+05:30

Am grateful to Ma for holding my hand

Am grateful to M for making my coffee and cooking food for my fast, for taking over the household chores because of the fast, and letting me sleep early.

Am grateful to S for switching on the ac, readying my room for puja

Am grateful to h for making sure my coffee was fresh and made on time.

Am grateful to all our help around us for making our lives easier

Am grateful to the entertainment industry for taking us into different realities

Am grateful to my breath, my body, my health.

1 April ‘22

2025-09-08T15:07:00.004+05:30

I am grateful to S for getting up so early everyday, for walking with me, at my pace, making me laugh, indulging all my idiosyncrasies, shopping with me.

I am grateful to h for coffee n toast every morning, for helping me with cooking, for feeding me with such love.

Am grateful to M for silently being there for me, sharing all the things we love, for working so hard, fulfilling all my dreams, making me so proud

Am grateful to mother Nature for all her beauty and love.

Am grateful to Ma for always being with me.