ZEBRA NINER: Lord of the Mongoose

Why Haven't We Rebuilt?

2010-09-05T18:22:00.009-07:00

As the ninth anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks draws near, I find myself asking the same question I've been asking for the last 9 years. Why is there still a huge hole in the ground in lower Manhattan? Why hasn't a massive memorial been erected? Why haven't we begun to rebuild?

I won't comment on mosques and Islamic bullshit that happens to be in the news these days, but I will just give my opinion on what I think should be there.

We should build two big-ass, motherfucking towers. Bigger than the World Trade Centers ever were. Shiny and bright and a big fuck you to Muslim extremists and any cowardly, filthy animals that would try to fuck with America again. Whatever is built must be a statement, it's can't just be a memorial... it's got to express defiance and resilience that Americans are known for.

One day they will realize that we can't be broken, they will never win and one day they will regret ever poking us with that sharp stick.

AR 15 Upgrades! A.K.A. The Project

2010-06-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

The AR-15, an iconic image almost as familiar as the American flag itself. The AR=America's Rifle. I've had a 20" AR style rifle in my collection for almost 10 years. It's a fine rifle, accurate and easy for just about anyone to use. I guess I just have extra money or something, but I'm currently in the process of turning my boring old A2 rifle into a badass, hippie-scaring, super-duper rifle... with a flashlight, cup holder and fuzzy dice hanging off the barrel. Due to the cost, this is going to be accomplished over some time. Acquiring the funds, deciding on the exact components and actually LEARNING how to do this will take some time. I'll start with the current state of my rifle, and then walk you through the installation and modification process.

My rifle is a Bushmaster XM15-E2S. 20" chrome lined barrel, chambered in .556 in the A2 style (full length rifle, carry handle, etc). The rifle was bought during the so called "Assault Weapons Ban" of the mid 90's, therefore, it does not have a threaded barrel or bayonet lug(because these were so evil). The plan is to buy a shorter 16" barrel, free float hand guards, a collapsible stock and a flat top upper receiver. Basically change everything but the lower receiver... and eventually change that out too. I'll leave all that for later posts, but today I'll be discussing the current modifications that I have made to the rifle.

These modifications are first because they were available(many AR parts are in high demand) and they were relatively low cost. I'll explain the usage, provide a link and rate the difficulty of installation on a 1 to 5 scale. Here are the products, their purpose and installation:

BCM Gunfighter Charging Handle (mod 4)- $44.95: Built for Bravo Company by Vltor, this is a super duper charging handle. It's made to be stronger than the traditional charging handle, and made with an extended latch to allow for one handed operation. If you can do it better and faster with one hand than two, why not? There is a joke somewhere there... that's what she said? I don't know.

Installation: Difficulty: 1, tools required: none. This part is drop in, literally. When field stripping the AR-15, the charging handle is probably the second part to be removed and comes out in about 2 seconds. First, you push out the rear receiver pin, letting the upper receiver hinge forward. Then you pull the charging handle rearward and the entire bolt assembly and charging handle will fall out of the receiver. Simply insert the new handle and bolt carrier group into the receiver and reinsert the pin.

Magpul Enhanced Trigger Guard- $18.95: Manufactured by the famous Magpul company! This is an aluminum(also made in polymer) trigger guard replacement, it's purpose is to allow a gloved finger to fit inside the trigger guard. This part also gets rid of the annoying space between the grip and standard trigger guard... this is for looks, but that's important too. The number one rule in life is to look cool(that or something about treating others like you want to be treated)!

Installation: Difficulty 2, Tools required: 1/8" punch (roll pin punch is best), pin punch hammer, bench block (or roll of tape), blue masking tape. This one can be a little tricky without the right parts, so invest in a nice punch set if you are going to do this yourself. PROTIP: Put some blue masking tape in the area around the pin hole. This will keep you from marring your lower receiver with the pin punch. Use the 1/8" punch to push the front detente pin in, this will allow the original part to swing down. Then using the same punch, drive the rear roll pin out. Using a bench block, or roll of tape on the backside will help facilitate this. The installation is basically the reverse. Install the new roll pin (included). This can be a little tricky, use the bench block and a stable platform. Then install the allen head screw (included) with the corresponding allen wrench (not included) in the front pin hole and you are done!

Magpul B.A.D. Lever- $28.45: Another product from Magpul (yes, I'm a Magpul fanboy). The B.A.D. lever, or Battery Assist Device, is made to streamline reloads. It's a pretty ingenious device and makes for a wonderful addition for the lazy or ubertactical shooter. Basically, it allows you to use one hand instead of two to operate the weapon. Again, there is a joke somewhere in that too.

Installation: Difficulty: 1 Tools required: Torx wrench (included). This one is pretty easy too. Place the backing plate behind the bolt catch paddle. Place the level over the paddle and install the torx head screw(included) using your torx wrench(included). Easy as pie.

These modifications are simple and only the beginning of my journey. Stay tuned for part 2 in the 87 parts series: AR15, "The Project".

Douchebaggery, It's A Problem.

2010-06-22T06:23:00.015-07:00

This is kind of a public service, for those of you who aren't quite sure if you are a douche-bag or not. This list isn't completely comprehensive, but these are the most glaring. If you suspect that you may be a douche-bag, but your condition is not on this list, consult your physician.

1. You go "tanning". Either a spray on tan, or tanning bed.

2. You wear flip flops in public. Normal people can wear flip flops at the pool, gym shower or around the house.

3. You "pop your collar". Self explanatory.

4. You've worn a wife beater in public. That's an undershirt, people.

5. You wear a flat brim baseball cap or a "trucker" hat. These hats look stupid on anyone, men or women. Brims of a baseball cap are meant to be rounded, they only come flat for shipping purposes. Only truck drivers, farmers and rednecks may wear a "trucker" hat.

6. You ALWAYS wear your blue tooth ear piece. It's annoying, it looks ridiculous, and you need to stop it. The bluetooth should only be worn while driving or performing a task that requires both hands (such as masturbating... trust me, I need both hands).

7. You wear a basketball jersey, but are not on a basketball team. This does not apply to sporting events, but you shouldn't wear this to your sister's wedding or to a job interview.

8. You spend more than 15 minutes each day playing with cell phone apps. Nobody cares about your tip calculator or your Star Wars lightsaber app.

9. Your jeans/shirts have sequins, glitter or patches. I thought the bedazzler was for little girls and old women, you are a douche.

10. You wear anything Ed Hardy. Yeah.

Border Wars, Check It Out!

2010-02-14T17:34:00.005-07:00

National Geographic, not just for checking out boobs of indigenous tribes anymore!

That's right, with the advent of specialty programing on cable comes new shows and new perspectives of the world we've never seen. The National Geographic channel offers a plethora of interesting and educational programing but one show in particular has caught my eye, It's called Border Wars. Shining a spotlight on the controversial and ever politically charged subject of customs and illegal immigration. This show gives a unique perspective on the day to day jobs US Border Patrol and Customs. From border inspection to immigrant capture and drug seizure.

So check out the show if you get a chance, it's awesome. New shows start on Mondays, for more info check THIS link.

Buy Tuffer Buffers Here and Support The NRA!

2010-01-12T09:20:00.008-07:00

This one is for the gun lovers out there. Anybody who is a gunny owns or has owned a Ruger 10/22, arguably the most customizable gun ever. Well, here is an offer for the first upgrade you should make to your rifle. A polymer buffer pin! w00t. Here are the details:

- LIFE TIME UNCONDITIONAL REPLACEMENT WARRANTY
- HIGH IMPACT RESISTANCE
- OIL AND SOLVENT RESISTANT
- HIGH CUT & TEAR RESISTANCE
- GOOD LOW TEMP FLEXIBILITY
- PREVENTS SHOCK DAMAGE
- SUPERIOR LOAD BEARING PROPERTIES
- INCREASES SCOPE RELIABILITY
- QUIETS YOUR RIFLE
- ELIMINATES METAL ON METAL CONTACT
- REDUCES RECOIL IMPULSES
- PRECISION MADE TO HIGH TOLERANCES
- FITS DIRECTLY INTO YOUR 10/22 RECEIVER

So there you go. Plus I'll be donating a portion to the NRA to help protect our 2nd Amendment rights! This buffer can be used with .22LR - .22WMR & .17MH2 calibers.

Special deal for ZEBRA NINER fans, $7 for 1.

Send your orders/questions to zebraniner@gmail.com

Sons Of Anarchy!

2009-10-30T11:08:00.005-07:00

Every once in a while I find something that I thoroughly enjoy. Sons of Anarchy is one of those things. It's a cool show about outlaw bikers being badass, shooting stuff, and pounding chicks. What does that mean? It means that any red-blooded American male is going to like it. There is also some great writing for those of you interested in the story and not just the visuals. This show will make you want to buy a Harley, strap your .45 to your hip and break a chair over someone's head. Check it out on FX, Tuesdays at 11PM. Also buy season one on DVD.

Also, Katey Sagal (A.K.A. Peggy Bundy) is in this show(looking very hot)!

Ruger LCR, The Light Compact Revolver

2009-10-10T10:53:00.014-07:00

I received a Ruger LCR as a birthday gift in May. After a couple of months shooting and carrying this pistol I have formed some opinions about this gun and I'm going to share them.

Let's start with the name "LCR", that stands for Light Compact Revolver.

Light-13.50 ounces with the Houge grip, 13 ounces with the Crimson Trace grip and only 15 ounces when fully loaded.
Compact- With a barrel length of 1.78 inches, it's no bigger than your stander J-frame Style revolver.
Revolver- Umm... it's a revolver, duh. 5 shot, .38 special +P, snub nose revolver.

We'll get to my opinions and range reports in just a bit, I want to mention what makes this revolver so special. It's the very first revolver in the world to be made with a polymer frame(fire control housing). That's right, the same kind of stuff your Glock, Springfield XD, or Smith and Wesson M&P are made out of. Some might call it combat tupperware or just generically call it "plastic". To be specific (and to sound like a douche), the actual description is Glass-filled Polymer Fiber.

I mentioned the polymer fire control housing, the reason it's important to make that distinct is because the entire frame isn't made from polymer. The grip, and the part of the frame that covers all of the fire control components is made from polymer. The rest of the frame is made from aluminum.

The cylinder is probably the most recognizable part of this gun, in that it's radically fluted for weight reduction, but it makes quite an impression visually. It's really cool looking. Of course this piece is made from aerospace grade steel as is the barrel sleeve.

So as you can see, it's the hot new thing that all the kids are talking about. By kids I mean grown men in photographer's vests. I'm not one to jump on the bandwagon of new stuff, but I've always had a special spot in my heart for Ruger and I've never owned a pocket gun. So this little bad boy has been on my wish list since it's announcement this January.

Every gun has a use, a spot that it fills best. This particular gun is best suited for deep concealment carry. It's small. lightweight, and packs a punch. It fits in a pocket well is comfortable to carry, in fact you forget it's even there. However, it does have drawbacks. It's only a 5 shot, it has a very small sight radius and it can be difficult to shoot well.

The standard Hogue Grips are really nice. They are a bit tacky, which may cause some problems with concealed carry, but they feel awesome. The grips make the gun feel like it fits in my hand much better than other J-framed size guns. I'm sure the relatively manageable recoil can be attributed to the grips, even with +P loads. The gun can also be outfitted with Crimson Trace laser grips, which I have also. The laser makes target acquisition fast and easy. It's also a great tool to practice trigger control. Dry fire the gun, and use the laser to gauge trigger movement and diagnose any flaws in your trigger pull. One other note on these grips, the back strap and front strap are made from a soft rubber that provides a good grip. The sides of the grip are pretty thin and made from a harder plastic/rubber and therefore do not catch on fabric very easily.

Accuracy is another facet of short barreled revolvers that is addressed often. It's not that these guns are inaccurate, but that they are difficult to shoot accurately due to the short sight radius. This gun has a great trigger, and a pretty good sight picture so it was pretty easy to shoot well. The grouping was pretty impressive for such a small gun. I'm very used to shooting striker-fired guns(Glock, XD, etc), and the longer pull of a double action isn't my territory. The trigger pull on this gun was WAY better than any double action S&W or Taurus I've ever fired. This trigger is really nice with no hint of stacking, but that IS one of the selling points of this gun.

I'm currently carrying this gun in a Desantis Nemesis pocket holster. It's lightweight, protects the gun and grips the inside of my pocket, making presentation of the firearm swift and smooth.

This gun is a good backup gun or primary gun. I find it useful in situations where a full size or even compact gun is not practical. It's small enough for a pocket carry in dress pants and light enough to carry in gym shorts or track pants(anything without a belt). I normally carry this gun at work or when I'm wearing something without a belt. It's also good as a second gun either in the pocket or on the ankle.

Bottom line, it's a great gun. It's comfortable, accurate, and powerful enough to meet my self defense needs. Try one out if you can.

Glock 30: The Subcompact 45 ACP

2009-05-25T16:39:00.011-07:00

As long time readers know, I like to pack heat... That is, I'm strapped with a gat... In other words, I carry more hardware than Home Depot. Ok, now that all the slang is out of the way, I encourage the carrying of firearms by law abiding citizens. Nothing is more American that a .45 caliber pistol... well, maybe a pickup truck or a wet t-shirt contest.

Enter my Glocks. Yes, yes... I know I said nothing is more American that a .45... well, this gun is made in Austria. That's kind of like America, except for the whole "World War/Jew killing" thing. I mean, the past is the past... right? Besides, next time you see a uniformed police officer, check out what they are carrying. I bet dollars to donuts(whatever that means) that it's a Glock.

Regardless of the country of origin, this gun design has been around for more than 25 years. It's been carried and used by me for more than 8 years. It's stood the test of time, and it's been proven in combat time and time again. Nothing says reliability like a Glock.

I've recently taken to carrying my guns in a more discreet manner, that is concealed. I've always enjoyed the feeling of a big ass .45 on my hip, but when it came time to conceal that bad boy, I faced some issues. Some of the issues were overcome with proper holster/belt combinations (stay tuned for a report on that stuff). I was finally forced into looking at a smaller, lighter, more concealable weapon.

Not wanting to downgrade into a smaller caliber, I was faced with only a few options on pistols. For the sake of uniformity in training, grip, controls. I decided to go with the Glock's subcompact .45 the G-30. I want you to take the term "compact" loosely. This gun is a fair amount smaller than my full size G-21, but it's still larger than offerings from other companies (Kahr, Springfield XD, 1911 variants, etc). Two positive benefits by keeping it in the Glock family, are the interchangeability in accessories. My 13 round G-21 magazines fit into the compact version and my Crossbreed Holster accommodates both guns very well.

I was also a little concerned about accuracy with a smaller gun. You see, I've been shooting my Glock 21 for a while, making upgrades here and there, steadily making progress in accuracy. Usually what you gain in comfort and concealment, you sacrifice accuracy and firepower. While the standard magazine only holds 10 round, the 3 rounds is a worthwhile trade for the difference in size and weight. As far as accuracy goes, I'm more accurate with this smaller, stock gun than I ever was with the larger, upgraded full size pistol. I can't really explain it, but that's just the fact.

All in all, I'm quite pleased with the gun. It's small, comfortable to wear, accurate, and Glock-reliable. What more can I ask for? A small pocket gun, that's what... we'll save that for another post (hint, hint).

NRA Annual Meeting 2009

2009-05-16T16:36:00.026-07:00

Each year the NRA holds a large meeting and exhibit. Each year, it's in a different city. This year, it happened to be in my state and my city! So, being a card-holding member of the NRA, I'm obligated to drag my butt down there. I'm glad that I did go, because I got to fondle and grope every gun that I've always dreamed about!

The show floor was a bustle of people, exhibits that were larger than life, and legends in the gun world walking around with mere mortals. All very exciting, but what about the important thing? The preservation of your rights to freedom? No. The networking with people in the firearms industry? No. The free schwag? Yes! Just kidding... but seriously, there was free stuff everywhere and I helped myself to more than my share.

I met a few interesting people, including Eric Shelton from Handgun Podcast fame, Carl from the Gundudes(who I called Stan... for no reason), and Tony Brown from the Firearms Cafe. I also ran into some more well known people like R. Lee Ermey and Tom Gresham! An exciting day for any gun nut.

I also got a chance to play with Ruger's new AR platform, the SR-55.
I fondled it and massaged it, basically I molested it. They actually asked me to leave the booth... well, they asked me to put my pants back on then leave the booth.

We have to keep supporting the NRA, not only to protect our rights and our freedoms, but to continue with productive events like this one. I'm glad that I got a chance to go, and I would jump at the chance to go again. Then again, it's in North Carolina next year... I don't see that happening.

One last thing... There were over 60,000 people attending the NRA meeting this year, I would bet good money that many of those people were armed (myself included). How is it that there weren't any mass shootings and gun violence?! Seems that law abiding ARMED citizens are peaceful. Keep that in mind the next time you hear about the "Evils of guns".

Yipeekiyay Mini Sirloin Burgers!!!

2009-04-16T19:13:00.005-07:00

Ok, it's been a while but that's because I've had nothing worth posting about. That's all changed thanks to Jack in the Box and their Mini Sirloin Burgers. Well, the advertising for the mini sirloin burgers.

A bunch of cowboys, tiny and bold....

Check the sweetass video below.

Arizona CCW Permit: My Experience

2009-02-09T14:39:00.013-07:00

W00t! CCW permit here I come! That's right folks, I finally got off my ass and went to get my CCW certification. Though I live in AZ, where open carry is permitted, I want to carry concealed every once in a while. Now I'm not saying that I don't still carry dual chrome .45s with ivory grips to a wedding or bar mitzvah, but now if I want to tone it down a little... I can.

So I chose to go to Scottsdale Gun Club for my certification. Now, it's a bit... "snooty" for some, but I like it. The range is always clean, the people are friendly, and it's in town(not 20 miles out... *cough* Ben Avery *cough*).

In Arizona you are now required to take an 8 hour class to receive your CCW permit. My class was scheduled for 8AM-5:30PM, with and hour break for lunch. So it's more of an 8ish hours of instruction. I arrived about 10-15 minutes early (as instructed) and still had to wait until 8AM to be let in the doors. The parking lot was relatively packed with people waiting to get inside. I wish I had taken a picture, because the cross section of people was rather amusing. Of course you had the older guys wearing military BDUs and black berets... and then you had the ultra redneck types, sporting the shooting vests and flannel clothing. There were a few of the stereotypical "independent and self empowered" women in the class, and a few college-aged douche bags. What category did I fall into? I did forget my kevlar tac-vest and ghillie suit at home, so I couldn't be grouped with the mall-ninjas... I guess douche bag? I don't know.

The instructor's name is Kevin Neal, he is a practicing attorney and judge for the city of Scottsdale. The lawyer/judge combo couldn't be a more perfect person to explain Arizona gun laws and how fucking lawyers can twist them. He's a personable guy, funny and made the class really interesting. He was also more than willing to answer ALL the stupid questions that people were asking. They say there are no stupid questions... that's not true at all. There ARE stupid questions, and very stupid people that ask them.

We started the morning out with basic stuff, signing the liability waiver and going over safety instructions. After all the prerequisite legal stuff was out of the way, we were instructed to head out the range for qualification. This part is probably what most people are worried about, and as it turns out it's the easiest part of the entire process. You are presented with a humanoid target, within the target are a rings labeled 10, 9, 8, etc. You are required to fire 10 rounds at the target (you must hit 5 shots at 15 feet and 5 at 30 feet) while keeping 70% rounds fired within the 8 ring. The 8 ring on the target we used measures 13" x13", a pretty large surface area. You can literally throw the gun and hit the 8 ring at 15 feet. If you can get the first 5 in the 8 ring, you are only required to get 2 more shots in at 30... most will get all 10. If you, by some chance, fail to do this on your first try the instructors will come by and personally ensure that you pass the test. That may involve some instruction or some tips on shooting. If you know how to handle a weapon this should not prove difficult.

The rest of the day was filled with legal speak and "what if" scenarios. SCG uses a power point presentation during the class to show videos, pictures, and various laws and regulations. I found that the videos were a very powerful way to show certain techniques or mistakes executed by real people. This part was very informative. Basically going over carry laws and when it's legal to use deadly force. It was very interesting stuff and I think that the class should be longer, just to thoroughly cover all the legal aspects.

Towards the end of the day, we had to do a fair amount paperwork. Filling out the application and fingerprint card took a long time. There are certain codes and ways to write things on those forms, and they have to be filled out perfectly. Luckily, the instructor will go through all this with you. Of course, you must be fingerprinted to acquire a CCW permit. If you've never been fingerprinted before, it's kind of weird.

The very last thing we did was take the written exam. It's a short test, 20 questions, all in multiple choice. Throughout the day, the instructor would note when a subject he covered was a test question. You could make mental note, or actual notes. All of the questions are either common sense, or very specific answers. You must get 100% on your test to pass, but if you do fail you can review and retest... immediately. You will pass this test, everyone in the class did on the first try.

I learned a lot about gun laws during this class. What I've taken away most from this class is that most laws fall into a "gray area" when it comes to interpretation. Ultimately every action you take will be decided by a jury of your peers... most of which will probably not own guns. Then again, they always say that it's better to be judged by 12 then carried by 6.

Jell-O, Without It You Will Die

2009-02-03T19:53:00.006-07:00

I've recently rediscovered something from my childhood, something that I forgot about years ago. That wonderful thing? Jell-O! That's right, the most delicious thing in the history of mankind. Jell-O, specifically the gelatin variety, has become a huge part of my life. I just wanted to share my love for Jell-O with you fine folks.

Here are a few Jell-O fun facts:

Jell-O is usually made from cattle bones and hides and pork skin.
Jell-O is the official state snack of Utah (and official snack of bloggers... that and hot pockets).
Jell-O is available in 20 different flavors, but originally was only available in 4 flavors. The first flavors were strawberry, orange, raspberry, and lemon.

American Handgunner Magazine And The NRA!

2009-01-12T10:39:00.004-07:00

Here is a great offer that I've recently taken advantage of, and would like to pass on to as many people as I can.

American Handgunner Magazine is has a pretty outstanding subscription offer. Basically, you'll get 12 months of magazines and a 1 year membership to the NRA, for the low price of $17.76! Normally, just the subscription to the magazine would cost $19.75 for one year. Not only are you saving a couple of dollars, but you'll be getting an NRA membership which is worth $35!

It's a hell of a deal and a hell of a savings. If you aren't in the NRA now, this is the perfect time to get in on it! Also, if you are already a member of the NRA(as I am), you can get yourself the magazine and you'll get a certificate to sign up a friend!

You can't beat this deal with a stick, so get your ass over there and subscribe today!

Stuffing Envelopes And Mass Mailing: Old School Advertising

2009-01-02T11:17:00.004-07:00

What a great Friday, and what a way to start the new year... stuffing envelopes. Isn't that a little old school? Do people even look at envelopes anymore? I thought everything was over email.

Now, if memory serves me right... you can make THOUSANDS stuffing envelopes every week! ZOMG! Hahaha, where are my fucking thousands?

Also, quite a few of these are the lick and seal type which is disgusting. After all this ingestion of glue I have to ask: Should I be dizzy?

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T23:30:00.003-07:00

As I sit here, 30 minutes until midnight, and the start of a new year. I think about this past year, and how much has changed in that time.

As I sit here, sipping Grey Goose Vodka... (the vodka of choice for older gentlemen and French whores) I think about people who have died, and who I will never see again.

As I sit here, eating a chocolate cupcake that must be from Thanksgiving, I think about what new things the coming year will bring.

As I sit here, seriously contemplating masturbating, I think about what I'm going to be thinking about this time next year.

W00t! Happy New Year!

Join The NRA, Protect Your Rights

2008-12-16T14:52:00.003-07:00

Join the NRA. That's it.

With the ever changing political climate and our forthcoming administration, fighting for your personal liberties and rights is more important than ever.

Help the NRA continue fighting for YOU! To join and save $10, click here!

Wait... Is This A Valid Form Of Payment?!

2008-11-14T09:30:00.003-07:00

Every once in a while I see something in the Internet, or "Intrawebz" as the retards call it, that catches my eye. Today I stumbled upon such a thing and thought it prudent to recommend it to my loyal fans... all 9 of you.

Geekologie.com posted a story about a guy that tormented a bill collector with some of the most hilirious and ridiculous stuff I've ever read. Click here for the full conversation, trust me it's worth it.

Zeitgeist... Is That A Black Helicopter?

2008-10-08T09:23:00.013-07:00

So recently some people in my life have become... what's the word? Crazy! Crazy is the word I was looking for! I'm talking about the classic "conspiracy theory" crazy that you see in the movies. What can cause that level of paranoid delusions? What would cause a person to believe such seemingly irrational, impossible, and outlandish ideas? What happens when you start believing that this stuff is possible? I'll tell you, you write a blog to make yourself feel better and then you forget about it.

I've recently watched a movie called Zeitgeist, which a lot of conspiracy theorists hold to be absolutely factual and very informative. It represents itself as a documentary, spewing forth quotes and siting facts. The video contains three segments concerning the religious conspiracy, 9/11 conspiracy, and finally the economic conspiracy. Overall it's more of a rant. The film is basically a sensationalist manifesto, put to video with some slick imagery and annoying sound bites.

The movie is entertaining at least, and it does give you a view of the darker side to the nature of politics and religion, but that's it. I was irritated at the annoyed tone that the narrator took when describing religion, not because it offended me, but because it made the segment lose credibility.

Ok, so here are the "facts":

The U.S. Government is controlled by a group of a few people, none of which are the President. (Ummm... duh? Was this a secret? I was under the impression that this was how things worked... am I wrong?)
The idea of religion is actually a trick to gain money and power over people who believe the myth of religion. (Ummm... duh? Again, this doesn't seem like a secret. Isn't it widely known that for hundreds of years the church has had a stranglehold over millions of people? It's a cash grab, so what?)
9/11 was orchestrated by the U.S. government to create mass fear and strengthen the position of the government. This allowed the government to pass measures that take away more of your freedoms and rights. It also was the driving force behind "the war on terror" campaign, effectively starting two wars. (Well, the part about the US being behind the attacks on 9/11 seems a bit far-fetched. The part about the government capitalizing on the nation's fears is completely true... but, that's how it always has been. That's how it is for every nation in the world, and every nation that there ever was. It's called politics, in case you didn't know.)
The world economy is controlled by "world banks" or "central banks", these evil corporations steer the world's financial future into the direction that best suits them. Usually to evil and diabolical ends. (Yeah, it's called making money... it's the driving force behind every human in the world. Acquire more wealth, acquire more food, acquire more anything... it's human nature. Everyone is out to make a buck, some just make millions. Yes it's shitty, but that's how it is.)

When looking deeper into the paranoid world of conspiracy theorists, one can find all sorts of outlandish and unbelievable ideas that people truly believe. Some believe so deeply in these ideas, that they change their habits and lives because of them. Does that sound familiar? It should, religion relies on the same formula. Booyah, did I just get all up in your faces? Hell yes! I digress...

One item of interest that you will find when searching around the Internet is the idea that the government is gearing up for a planned holocaust of American citizens. That's right, they are going to round us up, toss us into concentration camps, and gas us all. Hell, they have already bought the coffins! I want to pick mine out right now, I'll take the black plastic one.

Whether you believe this stuff or not, no one will deny that it's entertaining... then again, the people who believe in the idea might not think being gassed is entertaining. Meh, whatever. What I have established by writing all of this, is that I will be among the people on the "red list"... that is the special group that will be killed first. Dibs on the sweet black coffin, guys!

...And We're Back!

2008-09-26T13:38:00.005-07:00

Ok, so I've been gone a while. Let's just get it out of the way... Due to some circumstances with my actual job, I've been VERY busy as of late... Ok, that's not true, I've actually been playing with this thing for the past month. I am addicted, and I don't care who knows it.

It's a digital boob, that is very bouncy, flexible, and do not have nipples, nothing like real boobs... which are more similar to a bag of sand (right?).

Anyway, I'll get my shit together and post more meaningless crap just like this. I'm also giving away a super secret prize! Leave a message for a chance to win! (prize is a signed picture of my balls).

Battlefield: Bad Company, I'll Take Your Dog Tags

2008-08-18T13:35:00.010-07:00

You like killing people? You like blowing things up? How about driving a tank through a wall? Well, I know I love doing those things, and you will too in Battlefield: Bad Company. So a few months back I was involved in the beta test for this game, and I can safely say that I thought it was total crap. I avoided buying the game on it's release, and haven't put more thought into it. That was until my efforts for gamerscore brought the game to my doorstep. I gave the game another go... and it's changed much since the beta that I experienced... and for the better! That's right, I'm totally fanboy for this game! Here is your quick bulletpoint rundown:

Tons of weapons, some of them unlockable
Awesome gadgets, including mortar strikes!
24 player versus modes
14 vehicles, including helicopters, tanks and boats!
Highly destructible environments

Ok, so what changed my mind? Well, lots of stuff. First of all, the campaign. While shorter than I would have liked, it was challenging and surprisingly(and pleasantly) humorous. The writers for this game must have a great sense of humor, and it shows. Not only did the story keep me interested, but I had lots of fun. So much so, that it warrants a couple of play-throughs (for more than one reason).

The graphics look good, kind of a "gritty-realism" type of thing. The weapons look realistic , and the sound quality is good. With regards to some comments of the "extreme echo" that is heard when near a wall, or indoors... I would suspect that the person with such a view has never fired a weapon indoors. The echo is realistic enough, sans the ringing in your ears.

Then you've got the shining star of the whole game, the multiplayer. This game has one of the most entertaining experiences that I've ever had in a multiplayer game. That's what really sold me on this game. Teamwork is paramount, customization is relatively deep, and there is a ranking system. The game modes are scant, Gold Rush and the recently added Conquest are the only two available. Each mode is similar, destroy/capture or defend a set objective. There is a good variety of maps, vehicles, and weapons to fit your mood.

After all of that, you've got the little things. Collecting dog tags from fallen rivals, completing challenges, and unlocking new weapons and gadgets... all of this is recorded in detail for further review online at Battlefield's website! There is a plethora of statistics, percentages, and other information that will make the nerd in you jump for joy.

Overall, it's a quality game. The single player is great, the multiplayer is top notch, and it's fun. It's a great shooter, with aspects that set it apart from the everyday shooter. With friends, working as a team, the value of this game skyrockets.

Pros:

Great single player campaign, hilarious story
Tons of weapons, vehicles, and gadgets!
24 player versus mode
Multiplayer is addictive
Detailed online statistics tracking

Cons:

Only two modes in multiplayer
Spawn times are ridiculous(probably for balance, but I don't care)
Knife melee is mapped to the Y button, and is excruciatingly slow

BUY: Shooter fans, people with a sense of humor, cheevo farmers (they flow!), Battlefield fans

RENT: COD freaks, cheevo farmers

AVOID: Team killing punks, death-match oriented players, and slow-poke snipers

My Zune, It's The Shizzle

2008-07-23T15:13:00.008-07:00

I finally have an MP3 player! Microsoft Zune! That's right! I've have one! I was lucky enough to receive one as a birthday gift, from my lovely girlfriend. After a couple of months of use, I can safely say that this thing is fucking awesome.

I'm no expert on electronic devices such as the"ipods" or the newfangled "DVD machines" that the kids are using these days. So I'm sure I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of what this little machine is capable of. I'm also a man (a real man) and I didn't look at the instructions... at all. Here is a little bit of what I DO know, and a little bit of what I stole from the Internet.

80GB of storage space

That's a lot. My personal computer at home has 80GB of space(given, it's 5 years old, therefore 4 years 6 months obsolete). According to the website, that's enough space for 20,000 songs, 25,000 pictures or 250 hours of video. I don't have that much of any of that... unless you count my porn collection, in which case I'll need another Zune.

3.2" color screen

I don't know if that's huge or not, but it's big enough for me(big enough to watch that porn I mentioned earlier). The definition is great, and it looks beautiful.

Touch pad, Slick user interface

The touch pad is really cool. That's all I can say, makes scrolling fun and I can do it all day long. The menu is really awesome too, the sorting and display of the items on the Zune make using it very easy and approachable.

Premium Headphones

So, that's what Microsoft calls them. All I know, they are fucking sweet and very comfortable to wear. I've never used headphones like these, and I'm in love with them.

Zune Marketplace

This is a pro and a con. You can use your Microsoft points for games and songs! Your Windows Live ID can be tied to this (means you can message your buddies from XBL from the Zune site). There is a huge library of available items, and TONS of podcasts for download. However, all the music is DRM. That's right, it only works on the Zune.

There are a lot of other features in the specifications list, but they don't interest me too much. I will list them though, for those of you that were wondering.

Wireless Sync- using special magical powers, you can link up with your computer wirelessly... providing you have all the specific equipment.
Wireless Zune-to-Zune Sharing- You can send songs and podcasts to other Zunes. Songs have a 3 play limit for the borrowing Zune, but if you label them "podcasts" you can keep them FOREVER!!!!
Built-in FM Tuner- I guess if you have this badass MP3 and media player, you'll want to be hitting up the radio waves... I guess. It's nice to have though, and apparently the ipod doesn't offer it. So, booyah!

There is probably some other stuff, but I'm too lazy to look and I really don't care. Now, back to the interesting stuff.

Some other cool things that probably only matter to me: It's available in black, it only weighs 4 ounces, and I can hook it up to my Xbox360 and play music/videos. It costs about $250 for the big dog 80GB, but that's in line with the rest of the market. There are tons of add ons you can buy, and none of them are cheap. I do suggest some kind of case to protect the rather large face (about $20-$30 from BestBuy). Microsoft sells some official Zune accessories, all which are high quality and high price, CHA-CHING! Then again, you did just drop $250 on an MP3 player, so if you are complaining about a $30 case you need to wake up and smell the coffee.

So that's about it. I'm sure there are other features and all that jazz, but I'm a simple guy... a simple guy with tons of (newly portable)porn! Yeah! High five!

Rick, July's Dog Of The Month

2008-07-22T10:50:00.006-07:00

Yes, I'm late again! We aren't here to discuss my poor time management skills, we are here to talk about THE DOG OF THE MONTH, Rick!

Name: Rick (A.K.A. Rocky, Shrek, Shreky, Shrekman, Donkey)
Occupation: Pet, Attack Dog
Age: 8

Rick is a Corgi/Daschund mix, which means he's short, long, and stout(fat). Rick's specialties include stealthily infiltrating enemy(Toby) lines and quickly destroying the their toys. He is also well known for his "crazy ass noises" and his signature one ear up, one ear down look. His favorite pastimes are laying flat in front of the fan and sleeping. He hates the heat and any movement(of himself).

That concludes this installment for Dog Of The Month! Congrats to Rick, and stay tuned for August's entry!

New Whey Liquid Protein, Phallic Vials Indicate Manliness

2008-07-15T10:14:00.011-07:00

Those that know me best, know that I like to try new things(not gay stuff, I'm not saying it's wrong... but I'm not down, dude. Seriously, leave me alone Dirk. We are friends, and that's it...). So when I was presented with a new kind of protein supplement, one that was easier to consume than the traditional disgusting shake, I was intrigued.

Enter New Whey Liquid Protein, the 3oz shot of juice that provides an amazing 42 grams of protein! From NewWhey.com:

New Whey Liquid Protein is the ultimate in convenient protein supplementation. Having a great taste and a serving size of about 3 ounces, New Whey is compact and refreshing. With no need for blending, refrigeration and virtually unbreakable packaging, New Whey is perfect for any on the go lifestyle.

Now, if that's not exciting, I don't know what is. Those of you that have ever taken protein supplements know of the hassle that is involved. You've got two choices, a protein bar or a protein shake. Personally I opt for the shake rather than a bar, typically the bars offer more calories and less grams of protein.

So we are talking protein shakes... First, there is choosing one of 3 disgusting flavors (chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry), apparently there aren't any other flavors in the world. Secondly, there is actually preparing said protein drink. The instructions say to mix 4 ounces of water with one "heaping scoop" of the powder. As anyone that's tried it knows, water doesn't taste very good mixed with chocolate powder... actually it's quite disgusting. So, you opt for putting milk in there, very much improving the taste from "THREAT LEVEL: VOMIT" to "This is better than eating a pile of shit" status. However, you aren't quite done. For reasons unknown to me, protein powder refuses to mix with a spoon... You can't do it, I challenge you to try. It must be done in a blender, bottom line. So now, not only do you have to wash the blender and a glass, but you have to clean up all the little granules of protein mix that have scattered on the kitchen counter. What I'm getting at here is that it's a lot of hassle to get from point A to point B.

That's why I was first drawn to the idea of premixed supplements, such as Muscle Milk. It's a protein drink that's already mixed and refrigerated for your immediate drinking pleasure. Three drawbacks: The taste, not the best... not the worst. It's made with milk, so it has to be refrigerated before drinking. It comes in a cardboard box, not really that rugged. Flawed yes, but better and more convenient than doing it yourself.

We get to the subject at hand, New Whey Liquid Protein. This product boasts 42 grams of protein, that's just about what 2 servings of standard protein powder will get you. It's 3 ounces, max. Standard protein drinks, are anywhere from 4 ounces to 8 ounces. Finally, it comes in a hard plastic (dildo shaped) case and doesn't need to be refrigerated. You can toss it in your bag, under the seat of your car, or in you underwear if you want that little extra something to show off at the gym(and they say you can make Jello from this stuff!).

Done deal right? Wrong, this products suffers from one fatal flaw... it tastes like ass. That's right, ass that's been dipped in cough syrup. Ok, it just tastes like cough syrup. You know, that really disgusting cough syrup that you have to choke down and it kills a little bit of your soul kind of cough syrup?

There you have it people, something new to try out. You can order it from the New Whey website(which is rather dismal and unimpressive) or you can buy it from Bulk Nutrition, which is where I bought it. It's cheaper(29.88 for 12 dil..umm vials), and they have good service.

Final thoughts on this product? It's interesting, easy to use and has plenty of protein. It's also rather disgusting. So, that's the trade off. One final bonus, the empty container can be used as a sex toy... if you swing that way.

The Majestic Ch33v0 Falls

2008-07-11T06:49:00.003-07:00

Just a quick note about two things. First, this picture of The Majestic Ch33v0 Falls is fantastic, and very beautiful. Secondly, my photoshop skills are really lacking. That's it, happy Friday.

Oh, and join The Cheevolution!!!!

Happy 4th Of July!!!!

2008-07-03T14:57:00.005-07:00

That's right folks, it's the day we celebrate our independence as a nation! I'll be doing what every American should be doing tomorrow... NOTHING! w00t! Enjoy your holiday and your freedom! If for some reason you can't enjoy freedom, then you are a criminal or you live in a shit country... either way, you're fucked!

Tomorrow I will hang my American flag on my house with pride... under the rays of the hot sun, and under the blazing and hateful glare of my illegal immigrant neighbors(who think it's a good idea to hang out on the front drive rather than the in the backyard).

Freedom my friends... soak it up! Have a great weekend!!!!