Zenmomma's Garden

A Stitch in Time

2011-08-07T16:11:00.000-07:00

Michaelangelo is quoted as saying "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." That's the thought that popped into my head when I saw this vintage dress that our friend Kat had gifted to Qacei.

Awesome, but slightly...dated, no?

While not a block of stone, it was also not something that Qacei would wear in its current incarnation. Vintage is cool and all, but a girl's gonna wear only what a girl's gonna wear. And let's face it, what girl wants to dress like she's stepped out of the pages of her dad's bar mitzvah?

I will probably get grief from both Jon and Qacei for this picture.
It's totally worth it.

But the bones of this dress were good. Who doesn't love purple polka dots? And there was a whole lot of cute hiding under all that fabric. I could just see it. So I set to work. Armed with only a pair of scissors and $5 worth of ribbon and tulle from JoAnne's, I set to work.

The result? In only hours we had so much cute it puts cute to shame.

Check out the adorable sandals.

The girl is stylin'!

And now, this little restyled dress is cute enough to wear to the prom with Duckie.

Isn't she pretty in polka dots?

Kind of Random

2011-08-01T11:31:00.000-07:00

Our latest press release that probably won't make it to print.

**************************************************

Business owner takes controversial stand in defense of kindness, declares August to be Random Act of Kindness Month.

Sunnyside Up Café is giving away 1,000 lattes in celebration of kindness. Aware that some people are strongly opposed to the concept of kindness and even in the concept of themed months, Sunnyside Up is determined to not let this controversy stop them from taking a stand for what is right and for what is good in this world.

Speaking with owner Jon Gold about the controversy, he said, “There are those who believe that kindness is a finite resource. We respect their right to believe that but we feel that kindness should be shared. It has been medically proven that hoarding kindness can lead to low spirits, apathy and general curmudgeonlyness.”

“While many people equate kindness with charity, it is proven that kindness often doesn’t cost a thing. For example, let someone go ahead of you in line at the ATM or grocery store, park father away so someone else can have the closer parking spot, hold the door open for someone behind you, fold over the end of the tape on itself so it doesn’t stick to the roll, return a shopping cart to the corral even if it wasn’t your cart, help someone across the street, have more patience for the DMV clerk, refill the ice cube tray before it’s empty.”

Working in conjunction with several businesses in downtown Corvallis, Sunnyside Up will be handing out 1,000 Random Act of Kindness cards which entitle the bearer to a free latte, mocha or chai. The recipient of the card may redeem the card, or in the spirit of things, may pass it on to someone else.

Participating businesses include Peak Sports, Sibling Revelry, Mod Pod, Gracewinds Music, Block 15, Robnett’s Hardware, Stoker’s VitaWorld, Many Hands Trading and Golden Crane.

Share the latte, share the love!

Better Than I Think

2011-07-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

"When people ask me how I am these days, I say, 'Better than I think,' because it's good to notice that my life is pretty great, even if my mind isn't." ~ from Imperfect Birds by Anne Lamott

Poetry in Action

2011-07-09T18:46:00.000-07:00

Every year that I go to the Oregon Country Fair it brings a different experience. Sometimes I want to do some people watching. Sometimes I'm ready to party. And some years I go with a purpose.

This year felt different again as I seem to have moved into a post-shock-and extreme-depression-but-not-sure-what-comes-next phase of my life. And so I went to the fair to spend time with Qacei more than to experience it myself this year.

Girls Gone Fair.

The weather was perfect and the people were colorful, extravagant and wonderful as usual. But for some reason I felt out of place. And I couldn't help feeling like I was a part of someone else's fetish at some points. Hard to describe and not something I've felt there before. I think it has a lot more to say about my own state of mind than anything else.

But there was something special waiting for me anyway. The fair brings its own magic and this year didn't disappoint. Because it was at the fair that I became poetry and poetry lived just for me.

The Poem Store. What an original and amazing idea.

As I tried and tried to think of a silly subject to give as the focus of my purchased poem, the beautiful poet suggested I just go with something that's been on my mind lately. So I told her my mom had just died and I was sad, but I was also so happy to be at the fair with my beautiful daughter.

Jacqueline Suskin

At once her fingers flew across the keys. The words were flowing out of her heart and onto the paper. She stopped only when she was finished, a mere 3 minutes after she started. This is what she gave me.

I have never received anything so beautiful.

Best Prom Photos Ever

2011-06-20T13:53:00.000-07:00

Story and Qacei heading off to the Alt-Prom.

Condolences

2011-06-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

I've been sending out messages left and right these past two weeks. It seems like every day I'm either letting someone know that mom died or thanking all the wonderful friends who helped keep me going with their love and support after the fact.

Yesterday, amongst all those emails, notes and messages I decided to Tweet a message to Tim Booth. He's written and shared his own experiences with his mother's aging and failing health so it just seemed appropriate to share.

I certainly didn't expect an answer. But it was just a short while later when I received this reply in a private message.

I know it's silly, but that really meant a lot to me. He's a sweet man.

One Word Meme

2011-06-12T14:00:00.000-07:00

Yourself: grieving
Your partner: supportive
Your hair: graying
Your mother: gone
Your father: strong
Your favorite item: iPhone
Your dream last night: bizarre
Your favorite drink: latte
Your dream car: electric
Your dream home: clean
The room you are in: messy
Your ex: clown
Your fear: time
Where you want to be in ten years: content
Who you hung out with last night: myself
What you're not: perfect
Muffins: bran
One of your wish list items: clarity
Time: whatever
The last thing you did: blog
What you are wearing: jeans
Your favorite weather: sunny
Your favorite book: undecided
Last thing you ate: muffin
Your life: good
Your mood: meh
Your Best Friends: unschoolers
What are you thinking about right now: mom
Your car: roadtrips!
What are you doing at the moment: typing
Your summer: lazy
Relationship status: married
What is on your tv: craptastic
What is the weather like: Oregonian
When is the last time you laughed: yesterday

There's Nothing Like FINALLY Completing a To-Do List

2011-06-12T13:43:00.001-07:00

I feel so efficient. I had this done by noon.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

2011-06-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

I'm back. Apparently all I needed was a smack upside the head from the Universe to bring me out of blogging retirement.

My smack-down came almost two weeks ago on the last evening of the LIFE is Good Conference. I was sitting in a room with hundreds of people waiting for Kimya Dawson to take the stage. This year's conference had been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, mischief and magic. It was both exhilarating and exhausting and I was glad to have gotten through to that last concert when I could finally relax and enjoy the moment. Ha! The Universe had other plans for me.

Thanks a lot Universe.

For it was right at that moment that I got the news that my mother had passed away. It literally brought me to my knees. Although my mother was 89 and had been frail for some time, her death still came as a shock. Luckily I was surrounded by friends and was taken care of from that moment on. I felt an outpouring of love that made me appreciate my unschooling community more than ever. And if I've got the time line right, my mom actually left this world while we were all singing Exactly with Amy Steinberg. I guess I was exactly where I needed to be.

Thanks for the reminder mom. I'll try to remember.

I've got a lot to process and the blog is calling me. So I'm back for now. Thanks for listening.

Seventeen Years and One Day Ago

2011-02-08T16:23:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to Q

Happy birthday dear Qacei

Happy birthday to Q!!

Coming Soon...

2011-02-05T12:08:00.000-08:00

...to a Chocolate Fantasy near you. (Assuming you live near Corvallis, that is.) Sunnyside Up's contribution to the Chocolatier Competition.

OMG Brownie Bites with Kahlua infused frosting and topped with a
chocolate covered espresso bean.

OMG Brownie Bites with Grand Marnier infused frosting
and topped with candied orange peel.

OMG is right. You know you want one!

A Visual Interpretation of Depression for People who have been Blessed not to Experience it

2011-01-21T13:07:00.000-08:00

"Imagine being trapped in a 1,000 foot jello mold with nothing but a toothpick to get yourself out. You can see a blurry reality through the jello and so you start digging your way out with your toothpick. If you have someone supporting you, your toothpick can be bumped up to a chopstick. If you choose to go to a doctor for help your chopstick becomes a plastic spoon. As you continue on with your therapy your plastic spoon becomes a wooden spoon and soon it turns into a ladle. Digging has become easier, but you still have a lot of digging to do to make it to the sunshine on the other side."

Excerpted from a post by Moosh in Indy.

Thought for the Day

2011-01-21T12:10:00.000-08:00

"Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts." ~Buddha

Reality Check

2011-01-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

It's often embarrassing to admit in mixed company (as in when I'm mixed in with people who actually have some brain cells left) but I love reality TV. I'm what you might call a reality TV junkie. I love 'em.

I'm old enough to have watched the first season of The Real World, granddaddy of the reality genre. Heck I'm even old enough to remember back to 1973 when that very first slice of reality, An American Family, first aired on PBS. That was before the editing became slick and reality became a money maker.

These days when I need to escape from my own reality, I'm inclined to watch shows like Toddler & Tiaras, Survivor, Project Runway and yes, I'll say it...Big Brother. And don't get me started on The Real Housewives franchise. Those ladies are over the top fabulous entertainment. It's like you can't believe people would actually open their homes (and families) to be filmed, edited and laid bare in someone else's version of their life. And there's always a good helping of staged drama and bad behavior. All for money.

I realize some of these shows are contests of a sort and I appreciate that. But still, every act within the contest is filmed and edited and used to create a story of the producer's choosing. So even though I love to watch the drama and comedy and ridiculous actions that arise from this "reality," I'm not sure why anyone would sign up for it.

Even the shows with a gentler, more informative approach like Little People, Big World are shaped, formed and edited to tell the story that will get the biggest ratings. And in the process, the participants open themselves, and their community, up to judgment from nameless, faceless viewers like me. Viewers who, in reality, know nothing of the subject's real lives at all.

And that is the point of this post. I've just been made aware that there is an unschooling family about to start filming a reality show based on their unschooling lives. I've said it before and I'll say it again, no good can come from a reality show about unschooling no matter who is the star. Unschooling does not work in sound bites. It shouldn't be presented to the world through editing by producers who are not intimately familiar with unschooling. Unschooling is a choice that requires you to examine your core beliefs about how children learn and thrive. It requires a paradigm shift to step away from a school-based life and towards a life-learning family dynamic.

I've already cringed when I've seen supposed unschooling families show up on Wife Swap. Predictably, the unschoolers were portrayed as nutty, over the top and ridiculously laissez-faire in their parenting choices. This is NOT my unschooling reality. And I say "supposed unschooling families" because I have no idea if these families understand unschooling or not. That's my point. Unschooling was presented, talked about and ridiculed in each episode and the family in question, in that moment, represented my community. Poorly.

I, for one, do not want my unschooling community to be represented by one family, no matter who that family is or how wonderful their lives may be. Unschooling requires thought, daily examination and constant tweaking to get it to work best. It's an individual journey for each family that thrives when it is NOT under the microscope of school based comparisons, mainstream expectations and, yes, a TV audience.

These are the things that clog my brain and leave little room for anything else.

2011-01-19T12:31:00.001-08:00

My friend Craig sent me the following screen shot off of his daughter's Fable III game, along with this note:

Looky here, Effie found the ghost of you-know-who hiding in Fable III - dancing a little jig for her pleasure.

You-know-who?

Why I do believe he's referring to James front man, the amazing Mr. Tim Booth, who has been known to dance a little jig every now and then.

But this wouldn't be the smiling Tim Booth.

I'm thinking this is a more sinister Mr. Booth, getting in touch with his villainous side.

And loving it.

Works for me! As long as he continues working on his new solo album that's coming out this Spring. I'm REALLY looking forward to that.

Click on the pic and check out his new tunes.
So. Much. Good.

I'm still here, more or less

2011-01-15T17:57:00.000-08:00

So I got this note from a friend on ~~Timesuck~~ Facebook wondering about the status of this blog. Yeah, I've been wondering about that too.

She asks "Where is Zenmomma's Garden...and do I need a parachute to connect since said hijackery?"

Damn! A parachute, I knew I forgot something.

She goes on to say "Mary, be kind to me...it's Friday after a lonnnnnnng care giving week :) :)"

I'll try to blog, but I'm not sure I can be very funny.

The honest truth is that my words (and sense of humor) seem to be stuck in my head and buried in my soul lately. I get that way sometimes, especially at his time of year. But I'll dig deep and dig out. Promise! Afterall there's only so much time a person can spend watching reality tv. Even me.

So in the spirit of senseless blogging content, here's a random picture I've been saving on my desktop just waiting for the right moment.

Now see THAT makes me happy.

So does having friends who miss me when I'm gone.

???

2010-11-15T01:47:00.000-08:00

Help! I've been kidnapped.

2010-11-15T00:50:00.000-08:00

Friday morning conversation

2010-08-27T11:04:00.001-07:00

Me: I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Hubby: Does that mean you're leaving me and buying a flashy sports car?

Me: No. It just means I'm feeling old.

Hubby: That's not a mid-life crisis. That's just failure to die.

Friday Fill-Ins

2010-08-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

1. Laughter is pouring out of the next room. What a wonderful sound.

2. "She was flexible" are the three words that started off the last email I sent. You are free to fill in the details.

3. What I'm most looking forward to today is in the past, because today is essentially over. But the highlights of my day were acupuncture, getting the dog groomed (finally!), and an evening with the Sabos and NBTSC campers.

4. This little guy puts a smile on my face.

5. Where in the world would you travel if you could travel anywhere in the world?

6.Community Acupuncture is just what I needed!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to SLEEP!, tomorrow my plans include possibly working at the cafe and Sunday, I want to finish the novel I'm reading!

Get your Friday Fill-Ins here!

Countdown to spiritual renewal

2010-08-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

"You need music. I don't know why. It's probably one of those Joseph Campbell questions: why we need ritual. We need magic and bliss, and power and myth, and celebration and religion in our lives and music is a good way to encapsulate a lot of it." ~ Jerry Garcia

In other words...

One More Time!

2010-08-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

If this is summertime, then I must be up to something. Cause, you know...

So I've been busy getting plans in place for next year's LIFE is Good Conference. (Y'all know I like to get started early. ) The contracts have been signed, I'm lining up amazing speakers and thinking about fun activities for next year's shenanigans.

In other words... I'm ready when you are and registration is now open for LIFE is Good 2011!!

The conference will be held over Memorial Day weekend, May 26-29, 2011 and we will be at the Red Lion Hotel again this year. Plus we've got a Super Early Bird price for registrations made before Sept. 30.

Time for some much needed catching up

2010-07-30T18:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

OMG I have SO much to tell you.

Remember that band James that I mentioned ~~way too many~~ a couple of times? You know, it's got that lead singer Tim, who's an unschooler but doesn't know it yet? And that cute little daisy logo that I may or may not have tattooed above my right ankle? Remember?

That's right, the band that I kind of like a little.

Okay maybe a lot.

Alright, I admit it, I'm a fangirl.

But diary, it keeps me young!

Well anyway, the past few months have been filled with all sorts of new James love that I haven't even had a chance to write about. Let's start with the mini-album, The Night Before, that they came out with in April.

I LOVE it!!!

And there's a companion album coming out in September with even more new songs. Oh my heck diary, it doesn't get any better than this.

Except it does. It really does. Because they're finally doing another US tour this Fall. And I'm going!! Oh boy am I going. This time we're hitting (at least) 3 states and traveling coast to coast. Luckily for me they're playing down in Florida. You know, where Jon's parents (who really could use a visit from us after so long already) live? I just love a multitasking in-laws visit, don't you?

So get ready diary, because this time around it's not just a road trip.

And one for THAT dad

2010-07-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

How could I forget the dads who joined in the carnival? Here's your very own retro dad button.

Speaking of THAT mom

2010-07-28T16:43:00.001-07:00

Wow! The "I'm THAT mom" blog carnival really took off like wildfire. There are so many great entries and Ronnie is keeping track of all of them here. Very inspiring and lots of fun to read.

I also created this handy dandy blog button. (Flo's brilliant idea.)

If you'd like to share the carnival love on your blog, feel free to copy and save the picture, load it on your sidebar and link it to Ronnie's original post.