ZERO out of FIVE

Never divide by zero!

2013-02-05T14:03:00.000-08:00

@CardsChic wrote this to me on Twitter:
"Apparently I was serious enough about dividing by zero."

Classroom Expectations and Responses

2013-01-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

My family helps each other by...

2013-01-28T11:18:00.000-08:00

... cutting the lawn?

Can you believe it?

2013-01-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

Hey kiddies, guess what? ZERO out of FIVE is back baby! Can you believe it? I can't! I mean I guess I should believe it, but I don't. Anyways, sit back and enjoy some ZOoF, don't forget to share with your friends though...

Chuck Norris does not submit homework. Homework submits to Chuck Norris

2012-10-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

Homework SWHHW...
(See what had happened was...)
Student Name: Chuck Norris
Date: 0 B.C.
Period: infinity
Assignment: WS 3.6
Reason HW is not complete: I'm Chuck Norris damn it
Signature: Chuck Norris
Turn this in before leaving class

Kristen writes:
"When students in my Algebra 1 class don't do their assignment I ask then to fill out a slip. One student turned this in today."

Thanks Kristen, I LOLed at this one!

Bribe

2012-10-01T09:10:00.001-07:00

Pit Lord Joeshph says:
So ay... yea... I tink dat if dis 'ere be a passin grade dat twenty smackers might just go "appear" on yer desk... if you catch my drift...

First time I've posted a bribe ZOoF!

Always question the man

2012-09-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

Impress me:
Why
+4
good.
Always question the man.

Dear Hilter

2012-09-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Hitler,
My name is Takumi. I've been a big fan of yours since I learned about you in the history class. I love you war. You know how to fight, You wars were beautiful. I want to know you more.

Dutch Giraffe

2012-09-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

Do any ZOoF readers out there speak dutch and care to translate?

A Flandato?

2012-08-30T09:08:00.000-07:00

Why would scientists try to cross a flounder and a tomato?

How would you do that?
I guess they would want
to make a fish red and taste
like a tomato? Like a Flandato?

No! A tomato to stay fresh in cold weather.

Should have been more specific

2012-08-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

28) Write Fifty three thousand in Figures.
fifty three thousand in figures

Can't fault the student for this one...

Writing kills me

2012-08-28T10:02:00.001-07:00

Writing kills me. If I write alot of summer my fingers will fall of. then Dad won't think it funny.

Physics Vagina

2012-08-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

RAAARGH! I AM THE (positively charged) MIGHTY PHYSICS VAGINA
Fear Me
So inappropriate

Thanks to Mike for this excellent Physics ZOoF!

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

2012-08-27T09:25:00.002-07:00

No excuses, just a little note to say that ZOoF is back again! Enjoy the ZOoFs and keep on ZOoFing!

Electrodes

2012-06-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

Sharkspear

2012-06-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

William Sharkspear: To Bite or Not to Bite!

Uruguay

2012-06-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

Please Excuse Tyler...

2012-06-18T09:23:00.001-07:00

This one was too good to pass up!

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/06/president-obama-writes-fifth-graders-excuse-note/

Native American Ascots?

2012-06-18T09:13:00.003-07:00

Thanks to Michael for this excellent story:

It's been a few years, so I don't have the essay any more, but once I had an essay test where I was given an essay question "Do you think it's right to use native americans as ascots?" (the test meant to say "Mascots"). It was april fools day and I was feeling pretty cheeky, so I wrote a paragraph to the effect of "No, because Native Americans aren't made of cloth and they'd probably be very uncomfortable". I wrote my real answer on the next page, but before I turned it in I showed my fake answer to my teacher. You should have seen him; until I showed him that I actually did answer the question, he was absolutely furious at me. But once he learned it was just a joke, he took it in good stride.

If I remember, I think I got an "A" on that test.

Cooking with Mondays

2012-06-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

Write the word,
1. I drink rat.
2. I wash in water.
3. Mom cooks with Monday.

I used to love it when my mom would cook with Monday!

Also, "Cooking with Mondays" would be a great name for a hipster band!

Thanks Samantha!

Clouds are made of...

2012-06-07T09:16:00.000-07:00

Clouds are made of: Fluffy Pillow

I don't see the problem here- Oh I see, the student should have written Fluffy Pillows

Thanks Samantha and keep them coming!

There are bats and then there are bats

2012-06-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

Samantha writes:
the Bats one is especially humorous... it might take you a second, but think about the problem from inside the head of a 6 year old English Language Learner...

Thanks Samantha, it did take me a second, but only because my head works like a 6 year old. I thought, why are there bats in the bucket with a baseball, and why don't they just fly away?

The Kamehameha Wave

2012-06-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

Extra credit: Knowing a Kamehameha wave travels at half the speed of light, and that 1 light-minute equals 1/10 of an AU, how long would it take for the blast to reach the sun?

Goku can fly, so the time depends on how far he is from the sun. Also, he protects the Earth, so he'd never destroy the sun.

R. Cali writes:
Seems like I underestimated one of my student's ingenuity!

Thanks R. Cali!

Nice Drawing

2012-05-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

Nice drawing even though he looks like a child molester

IMAKAT

2012-05-23T14:12:00.001-07:00