Ziggy's Blog

FREE TO RUN!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 00:50:00 +0000

As y'all know, I frequently blog about human trafficking. As the mother of two daughters, this is always in the back of my mind, and it has made me an overprotective mom. Human trafficking is happening right here in the United States of America...I know it's hard to believe, but it's true.

Recently, while on twitter, I read where Natalie Grant is participating in Disney's Princess Half Marathon, and she will be running:

For the millions enslaved around the world, including our own backyard.
For those without a voice.
For those who aren’t free to…YET!

FREE. TO. RUN.

Running for FREEDOM. with Natalie Grant.

FEBRUARY 26, 2012

Natalie Grant and Abolition International are on a mission to abolish sex slavery and human exploitation. Will you help?

I don't usually use my blog to solicit money, but this is a very good cause. If you have children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, they are at risk of being trafficked.

Did you know:

The #1 destination for an American seeking sex with a child is the United States.
Men who have sex with children are business men; they are bank presidents; they are politicians; they are deacons in a church.
12 is the average age for entry into pornography and prostitution, but some of these victims are as young as 5 years old.
Minor trafficking victims are sold 10 to 15 times per night, 6 nights per week, and in the United States any minor involved in sexual exploitation is considered a trafficking victim even if they never cross international borders.

By sponsoring Natalie Grant just $1.00 per mile ($13.00), you will help her reach her goal of raising $15,000.00 to help put an end to human trafficking. So please, join me in helping Natalie reach her goal by clicking the picture (below), which will take you to her site where you can donate to help stop human trafficking, which is the fastest growing criminal industry in the world today, grossing over 36 million dollars a year.

TEEN TRENDS: EATING DISORDERS AND THEIR DANGERS

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 02:10:00 +0000

Have you noticed that your daughter has developed unusual eating habits? Avoiding food and meals, playing with her food (moving food around on her plate instead of actually eating it), picking out a few foods and eating them in small amounts, weighing her food or counting calories. Does she exercise excessively? If so, your daughter may be developing an eating disorder. I say "daughter", because eating disorders are more common among females, but males also develop eating disorders.

STATISTICS:

42% of 1st through 3rd grade girls want to be thinner.
81% of 10-year-old girls are afraid of being fat.
51% of 9 and 10-year-old girls feel better about themselves if they are on a diet.
46% of 9 to 11-year-old girls are "sometimes" or "very often" on a diet.
91% of college students attempted to control their weight through diet.
35% of "normal" dieters progress to pathological dieting. Of those, 20 to 25% progress to a partial or full blown eating disorder.
Americans spend over $40 billion on dieting and diet-related products each year.

3 MOST COMMON TEEN EATING DISORDERS:

Anorexia nervosa
Bulimia nervosa
Binge eating (compulsive eating

Other less common eating disorders include:

Pica - Eating non-nutritional substances, such as dirt or paint chips
Rumination - Repeated regurgitation resulting in weight loss

ANOREXIA NERVOSA is one of the most common eating disorders among teens. Anorexic teens starve themselves. They are obsessed with their body image. These teens have a distorted view of themselves. (They see themselves as fat when they are skin and bones.)

STATISTICS:

10% of teens with anorexia nervosa are boys.
Teen boys are more likely to go undiagnosed and untreated.
20% of teens with anorexia nervosa will die because of the disorder.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS:

Teen is on a diet even though he/she is underweight.
Fear of being fat, and belief that he/she is fat.
Denial that he/she is underweight.
Obsession with what he/she eats
He/she is never hungry.
Excessive exercising
Boys have an obsession with looking athletic.
Avoiding social activities, especially if there will be food.
Depression
Obsession with calories, fat grams, etc.
Use of medications to keep from gaining weight (diet pills, laxatives, diuretics)
Menstruation has stopped.

RISK FACTORS:

Feeling out of control
Role models, such as celebrities, who are excessively thin
Mental illness, such as depression, anxiety, etc.
Family members who are overly concerned about weight
Sports that stress "thinness", such as gymnastics, ice skating, and ballet
Peer pressure

PHYSICAL EFFECTS OF ANOREXIA NERVOSA:

Malnutrition and starvation
Lack of energy
Susceptible to injury
Damage to heart, liver, and kidneys
Lowered blood pressure, pulse, and breathing
Fainting
Irregular periods
Dry, scaly skin
Low body temperature
Hair loss

BULIMIA NERVOSA is a serious and potentially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by a cycle of binging and purging (self-induced vomiting).

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS:

Inability to stop eating
Secrecy surrounding eating - wanting to eat in privacy
Disappearance of food
Going to the bathroom immediately after meals
Using laxatives, diuretics, and enemas
Smell of vomit
Excessive exercise
Calluses or scars on knuckles or hands (from inducing vomiting)
Puffy "chipmunk" cheeks caused by repeated vomiting
Frequent fluctuations in weight

RISK FACTORS:

Poor body image
Low self esteem
History of trauma or abuse
Major life changes

PHYSICAL EFFECTS OF BULIMIA NERVOSA:

Weight gain
Abdominal pain or bloating
Swelling of hands and feet
Chronic sore throat or hoarseness
Broken blood vessels in the eyes
Weakness or dizziness
Tooth decay and mouth sores
Acid reflux or ulcers
Loss of menstrual periods
Chronic constipation
Dehydration
Heart arrhythmia's (due to potassium loss from vomiting).

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO:

Listen to your teen's concerns
If your teen is overweight, see a physician or dietitian for a healthy weight loss program.
Don't stress over your weight or food
Eat together
Grocery shop together
Encourage healthy eating habits
Cook together
Encourage new interests (art classes, volunteering, yoga) to help take the focus off his/her weight
Be aware of comments you make to your teen. Saying "you've gained weight", even though innocent, can send your teen spiraling out of control.

If you have noticed any of these signs in your teen, and you are concerned he/she may have an eating disorder, it is important to seek professional help.

*Photo courtesy of http://shelovesmagazine.com

TEEN TRENDS - SUICIDE: A MOTHER'S STORY

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:06:00 +0000

(This blog is written to inform parents and others of disturbing trends of teenagers.)

I first posted this article in June 2009, but I felt the need to bring this post back to the forefront, because teen suicide is still a growing problem. Four of my daughter's friends committed suicide within the last six months, including a 19-year-old male, who shot himself last night. I think this is every mother's nightmare.

Below are the signs, symptoms, and risk factors for teen suicide that parents, teachers, etc. need to be aware of, but if your teen has a friend or close relative who commits suicide, you will want to stay close and alert to ensure your teen doesn't lapse into a deep depression that could also end in suicide. (Suicide of one teen often leads to others.) Talk to your teen about what happened, let him/her talk about his/her feelings, and about the friend they lost...the good times they had together, etc. If needed, you should have your teen talk to the school counselor to help him/her through this tragic loss.

Each year, thousands of teenagers commit suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds and the fourth leading cause of death among 10- to 14-year-olds.

*FACTS:

There is an estimated 8 to 25 attempted suicides to one completed suicide - with the ratio even higher among youth.
Out of 100,000 teens, 2,000 to 3,000 have a mood disorder, in which 8 to 10 will commit suicide.
Males are four times more likely to die from suicide than females.
Females are more likely to attempt suicide than males.
Males tend to use more lethal methods to commit suicide, such as firearms, hanging, or jumping from heights, while females attempt suicide by overdose or cutting.

RISK FACTORS:

Breakup with girlfriend or boyfriend is the #1 risk factor.
Failing or doing badly on a test.
Feeling humiliated.
Death of a friend, family member or pet.
Loss of parent due to divorce.
Physical or sexual abuse.
Being a victim of bullying.
Teenagers who are gay, lesbian or transgender are three times more likely to commit suicide than heterosexual teens.
Starting a new school.
A family history of suicide.
A previous suicide attempt.
Being part of the Gothic culture. 47% of teens who are a part of the Gothic culture attempt suicide. This can be attributed to the music they listen to, the rituals they participate in, and the websites they visit. This culture usually attracts teens who already demonstrate risk factors, such as depression, self harm, and feelings of hopelessness. (Rutledge, Rimer, & Scott, 2008.)

WARNING SIGNS:

Changes in eating and sleep habits,
Withdrawal from family and friends.
Taking unnecessary risks.
Physical deterioration (weight loss, fatigue, frequent complaints of illness).
Loss of interest in usual activities.
Marked personality change.
Neglect of personal appearance.
Written warning signs - The teen may write poems or notes to friends, parents or teachers expressing unhappiness with his life or he may insert a disguised message in a homework assignment.
Preoccupation with death and dying.
Marked preference for books, song lyrics, and movies that represent death, suicide or self destruction.
Verbal signals - Comments made by a teen, such as "I wish I were dead", "Nothing matters", "I want to go to sleep and never wake up" should never be ignored.
Becomes suddenly cheerful after a period of depression. (This usually signals that the teen has made up his mind to commit suicide, and he feels a sense of relief and happiness.)
Cleaning his or her room, throwing away important belongings, stating "I won't be needing _______________ anymore" is a way of putting his or her affairs in order.
Giving away personal possessions serves as a final goodbye.
If a teen writes out a will and/or plans a funeral, suicide will soon follow. (Kirk, W.G. 1993)

Even though all parents need to be aware of the above warning signs, every teenager behaves differently, and the warning signs are not always so obvious.

MY STORY:

In 2004, Hollie had been in her room talking on the phone. My mind was miles away when Hollie walked in crying and shaking, and she kept saying, “I can’t stop”. Then I noticed the small blade in her hand. (For those who have read my other posts, you know I would search Hollie's room for these blades, so I was surprised that she had one.) I looked down, and she had 20 to 25 cuts on each of her legs. (These weren’t deep cuts.) The next hour or so is a blur, but I called Hollie’s doctor, who told me to take her to the ER, and he would have an intake counselor from Brentwood Behavioral Health meet us there.

While talking with the counselor, she asked Hollie if she was suicidal, and Hollie said “yes”. Now I’m standing there in shock thinking, "how could I not know my child was suicidal”! I mean, I'm all up in Hollie's business, all the time. I know who, what, when, where, and for how long every time she walks out the front door.

Hollie didn’t demonstrate any of the above warning signs. Yes, she was moody at times, but what teenager isn’t. And yes, she had been cutting, but she had been seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist for months, and she never indicated she was suicidal.

The counselor recommended inpatient treatment, and Hollie freaked. She said she wasn’t going, and she refused to move. (Because she was suicidal, she had to be transported by ambulance.) Finally, the nurse told Hollie that she could either walk out or he could give her a shot, and she would be rolled out on a gurney. Hollie chose to walk out, but not before giving me a look - she was shooting daggers at me.

I got all the papers filled out to have her admitted, and then I left her there. And for the very first time, Hollie didn’t say she loved me when I left…and I went home and cried.

Visitation was twice a week, and she could make one phone call a night. Every time she called, she cried and begged me to come and get her. She would make promises of what she would and wouldn’t do. I would tell her I couldn’t come get her, and she would get mad and hang up on me. And I would cry. I knew I had to leave her there, but it was the hardest thing I believe I've ever had to do.

Visitations were worse, because I had to look at her while she was crying and begging me to take her home. I would tell her, “I can’t”, and she would storm off. But there were other moms there,who assured me that it would get easier. And I would go home and cry.

She stayed in treatment for sixteen days (that’s the longest a short-term facility can hold a child under 21, at least in MS). The calls and visits did get a little easier, and she stopped asking me to take her home. Once she was back home, for quite awhile she stayed angry with me and constantly asked me how I could have put her in “that place”. I would ask her what did she expect me to do. She was suicidal, and I couldn’t keep her at home. Now, she will admit that she needed to be there.

When I think back to that time, I wonder if I missed a warning sign. She never threatened to kill herself, and she never talked of dying. She didn’t give her stuff away. She wasn’t withdrawn. If she was depressed, I didn’t pick up on it. I’m still clueless as to what I missed. I'm just so thankful that Hollie had the strength to walk out of her room that night before she went too far.

Thinking that their teen could actually kill himself/herself is too painful for a parent to imagine. But with the frequency of suicide growing among teenagers, no parent can afford to ignore the possibility. If your teen threatens suicide, he/she is crying out for help. Don't ignore them. Always take these threats seriously. Stay involved in your teens’ everyday life, so you will be more likely to notice a change in his/her behavior.

For more information on how to help your child if he/she is suicidal, read the article below at parentingpink.com.

http://parentingpink.com/2010/08/teen-suicide/

*National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 04:09:00 +0000

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. And it's not even because of the presents. I love to decorate. I love the music. I love the overall spirit of Christmas. It's the one time of year where it seems everyone is nicer, friendlier, more polite, more giving of their time. What can I say, it is my favorite time of the year.

Did I mention, I love Christmas music. T--Mobile surprised a crowd at a mall outside of Chicago with a "flash mob" song and dance. I have watched this video a half a dozen times. Take a look. It will only take up 3 minutes and 48 seconds of your time, and it will leave you smiling.

What is your favorite part of Christmas?

This post is sponsored by T-Mobile.

YOUR TEEN AND IDENTITY THEFT

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 03:44:00 +0000

Identity theft is every adults' nightmare. Identity theft is when a person steals someone else's personal information, such as credit card, bank account or Social Security numbers, to purchase goods and services. With technology, it is easier than ever to have your identity stolen .Identity theft is the fastest growing crime in the U.S., with over nine million victims each year. Luckily, there are companies who can protect your identity, such as IdentityHawk.

But...do you think your teenager needs identity theft protection. They do, because they are easy targets. One study reports that the age group most affected by identity theft is between 10 and 16. Teenagers and young adults are more vulnerable to identity theft because they don't have a credit file that can be monitored. Their clean credit record is what attracts identity thieves. Thieves can rack up charges on a clean record for years. Most teens discover they have fallen victim to identity theft when they apply for a driver's license and are denied because one has already been issued under their Social Security number.

HOW DO THIEVES GET YOUR INFORMATION:

They go through your trash looking for unshredded papers and records.

They steal your mail, wallet or purse.

They listen in on conversations.

They trick you or your teen into giving them personal information, either over the phone or by email.

They steal information from a loan or credit card application you or your child may have filled out or from files at a hospital, bank, school or business that you deal with. Thieves may obtain these records from trash dumpsters outside such companies.
They get it from your computer, especially those without firewalls.
It can be a friend or relative who has access to you or your teen's information.

EDUCATE YOUR TEEN ABOUT IDENTITY THEFT:

Educate your teen on safe Internet practices and how to protect themselves online while at school and at home.
Invest in a paper shredder at home to destroy personal information, including mail with birthdays, social security numbers, and banking information.
Instruct your teen to only disclose personal information to individuals they know and reputable companies when making purchase, especially online purchases.
Encourage your teen to only approve friend requests from those they know. Instruct your teen to ignore requests from people they do not know well or at all, as they could be predators looking for information to steal their identity.
Advise your teen to never carry his/her social security card in his/her wallet or purse. They will not need this card on a day to day basis, so it needs to be kept in a safe place (lock box) at home.
You can also use an identity theft protection company, such as IdentityHawk. These companies guarantee to stop fraud before it happens.

It can take years to clean up the mess once your teenager's identity is stolen, so start today teaching your teenager how to protect his/her identity by keeping his/her personal information private.

*photo by: http://www.girlsaskguys.com/content/internet-safety-tips-resources.html

TEEN LOVE: WHAT ARE THE RULES

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:49:00 +0000

THE GAME IS TEEN LOVE, BUT WHAT ARE THE RULES?

(Today, I am honored to have guest author, Annie Fox, Annie is a respected educator, award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser. Her life’s work is helping teens become more self-aware, self-confident and better able to make choices that reflect who they really are. You can visit Annie Fox's Blog for more articles on a wide variety of topics.)

One Saturday afternoon before I headed out to meet my boyfriend at the high school tennis courts, my mom said, “Let him win.” Even though it was before Billie Jean King served Bobby Riggs a massive slice of humble pie, I was stunned. Let him win?! Excuse me?! I might have only been 16, but I knew there was no way in hell I would play the Dating Game by rules that also included:

“Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.” And… “If a boy asks you out after noon on Wednesday for Saturday night, tell him you’re busy even if you’re not.”

Recently, I asked other parents what Boyfriend/Girlfriend Zone wisdom they got from their folks. As you can see, some of the pointers were right-on, others not so much:

ABOUT DATING AND SEX:

“Play hard to get.”
“Go out with self-actualized (liberated) girls, but open the door for them anyway!”
“Always go out with everyone who asks you because you might fall in love with his brother or best friend.”
“Don’t trust boys who are too nice to a girl’s parents. It’s always an act!”
“Always be a gentleman. This will automatically put you above most other guys in a girl’s eyes.”
“A man wants a woman who makes him feel comfortable.”
“Be yourself. That way the person you’re dating will like you, and not someone you’re pretending to be.”
“If you wouldn’t want to bring them home to meet your family, then they’re not good enough for you to date.”
“When a girl says no, she means no.”
“Don’t just be ‘good,’ that’s only a rule. Be wise.”
“Give references, but no samples.”
“If you’re going to be stupid (have sex before marriage) be smart (protect yourself!).”

I’m inundated with daily email from teens who are utterly clueless about dating. Some typical questions:

Can you get pregnant from oral sex?
Can drinking alcohol make a guy’s sperm not able to make a girl pregnant?
Can having sex give you more curves and bigger breasts?

The U.S. and the UK have the highest rates of teen pregnancy amongst western industrialized nations. Nothing to be proud of. And the number of those pregnancies in the US is up after a 10 year decline. Likewise, STD rates amongst teens are skyrocketing, especially HPV (human papillomavirus). One recent study found that 4 out of 5 sexually active teen girls are infected with HPV!

Abstinence Only Sex Education programs, which received $1.3 billion in federal funding during the Bush years, owe us all a refund. This isn’t and never has been “education” nor does it prepare kids to make informed choices about their sexual behavior. So they make uninformed choices often and repeatedly.

Before you ground your teens for life, please note that everyone is not doing it. In fact, American teens are now waiting longer to have their first sexual intercourse. By age 15, only 13% of teens have had sex. Sounds encouraging, except that many of those under 15 who aren’t having intercourse are definitely messing around. (I’ll get to that in a minute.) Amongst 15-19 year olds, nearly half (46%) have had sexual intercourse at least once. While it’s great that some teens are waiting longer, I’m not thrilled at the idea of 15 and 16 year olds having sex. Many girls are very conflicted about it but they believe it’s necessary to get and keep a boyfriend. (Wonder where they get that idea?)

Another problem is that many 11-14 year olds simply don’t know the definition of sex. Plenty of middle school students consider oral sex to be “like no big deal.” Last week I got an email from a 14-year-old who was “committed to remaining a virgin” but was considering “doing it from the rear” because her boyfriend wanted to “try something new” and she didn’t think that anal sex was… well, you know, actually sex.

Girls must understand unequivocally that saying no is their right. Too many girls don’t feel good about turning a guy down, because they don’t want to be “mean.” Guys need to know that sexual contact with a girl is not their right. Healthy relationships are based on 2-way trust, respect, honesty, and open-communication. Moms and dads need to bring home these points to their sons and their daughters.

Here are some questions for you to think about (and resolve) before you begin a new kind of conversation with your tweens and teens about dating and sex:

What’s your personal attitude about teen dating? Teen sex? Is it different for your daughters than it is for your sons?
If you’re raising kids with someone, are you and your partner on the same page with these attitudes?
What have you learned about relationships from your time as a teen that you can comfortably share with your child?
What kind of social/sexual behavior do you expect from your daughter/son?
Have you made your behavioral expectations crystal clear?
In what ways are you doing a great job letting your kids know that they can always come to you with questions/concerns (about their body, about sexual feelings, about the pressure to have a boyfriend/girlfriend and to “do stuff”).
In what ways could you do a better job in the communication/information and listening arena?

There’s more blatant sexuality in the media and in our kids’ lives than there was in ours. With that comes intense pressure to look sexy and to act it out. That’s why our kids need better advice from us than what we got from our parents.

As parents, I sure you have more questions, you can download Annie's entire book, The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating for free at this link: Teen Survival Guide.com

ABOUT ANNIE FOX:

When Annie Fox's first book People Are Like Lollipops (1971, Holiday House) was published, she wasn't old enough to legally sign the contract! By the time she turned 21, though, she decided that helping kids was going to be her life's work. After graduating from Cornell University with a degree in Human Development and Family Studies then completing her Master’s in Education from the State University of New York at Cortland, Annie set off on a teaching career. After a few years in the classroom, computers changed her life as she began to explore ways in which technology could be used to empower kids.

In 1977, Annie and her husband David opened Marin Computer Center, the world's first public access microcomputer facility. Her work there led her to write her best selling book, Armchair BASIC: An Absolute Beginner's Guide to Microcomputers and Programming in BASIC (1983, Osborn/McGraw-Hill). After a detour into the world of screen writing, Annie returned to computers as an award-winning writer/designer of children's CD ROMs. (Putt-Putt; Madeline; Get Ready for School, Charlie Brown; and Mr. Potato Head Saves Veggie Valley are just a few of the titles on which she has worked.)

In 1996 Annie dreamed up the idea for The InSite, a place "for teens and young adults to turn their world around." For 3 years she served as creator, designer, writer, and executive producer of that award-winning site. One of The InSite’s most popular features was Hey Terra, a Cyberspace Dear Abby. Her book The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real World Advice About Guys, Girls, Growing Up And Getting Along (Previously titled Can You Relate?, 2000, Free Spirit Publishing) is based on hundreds of emails to Terra and Annie’s responses to them.

Too Stressed to Think? A Teen Guide to Staying Sane When Life Makes You CRAZY, co-authored with Ruth Kirschner, was published in October 2005 by Free Spirit Publishing. Annie’s new series Middle School Confidential™ includes Book 1: Be Confident in Who You Are (2008), Book 2: Real Friends vs. the Other Kind (2009) and Book 3: What’s Up With My Family? (January 2010).

Through her public events for kids, tweens, teens, parents, and educators, Annie continues working toward her goal of empowering young people through increased self-awareness, emotional intelligence skills and stress-reduction strategies.

When not answering teen email, Annie enjoys yoga, meditation, baking, gardening, photography, hiking, traveling, and, most of all, being with David and the rest of the family, including their dog, Josie.

HELP BUILD SELF-ESTEEM IN GIRLS EVERYWHERE!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 18:38:00 +0000

Picture by: http://krowz.co.uk

Did you know that 72% of girls say they feel pressure to be beautiful? October 21-23 is Dove's Self Esteem Weekend. Their goal is to reach 15 million girls with self-esteem programs by 2015. I love the way Dove is always trying to instill in girls that there is more to a girl than just her looks.

One of their programs is:

*A Girl’s Guide

to the Digital World

How to log-off digital drama!

Cyberbullying. De-friending. Sexting. Mean Tweeting. To many moms these terms may seem like a foreign language. To girls, however, these words represent a new concern that they have to deal with daily: digital drama. Girls’ self-esteem and confidence can be impacted immensely as they navigate social media and contend with these issues.

Technology will always evolve, but one thing remains the same: with support and guidance, girls can navigate complex issues with confidence. Here are a few tips to help spark a discussion with your daughter or a girl in your life about positive and responsible behavior online.

1. Online friendships: Identify the Difference between a Friend & a Frenemy.

Facebook or Fakebook? Just because someone requests to be your friend' online doesn't make them a true friend offline. Get to know the real friends in your life by spending time with them in person. Get to know the real friends in your life by spending time with them in person. And remember true friendships take time to cultivate and require care, patience, honesty and respect.

It’s OK to Say No. Friend requests on Facebook come in by the dozens but that doesn’t mean you always have to accept. If you don’t know the person, consider carefully if you want them having access to all of your personal information before you make them your "friend".
Make Time for Real-Time Fun. Make real time memories with your friends by having them over to your house after school or spending time with them on their turf.
Face to Face Works Best. Don’t leave all your convos for the digital space. If you have something important to talk to your friends about, don’t do it via text or IM; make a date to discuss in person.

2. Privacy: Do You Really Want Everyone to Know Everything?

Everything you post online has a digital lifespan long after you’ve hit send. You may have had a blast at the party this weekend, but do you really want everyone to see those pics of you? Do you want everyone to know you’re having a fight with your BFF? Some moments and memories are meant to stay offline. Protect yourself and those you care about by being cautious about what you post online.

Watch what you share. It’s fun to share posts and tag each other online, but just know that anyone can copy and paste your pics. Remember that what happens in cyberspace stays in cyberspace.
Be in control. Change your general privacy settings. You can control who sees what.
Avoid Posting When you’re Upset. If you’re having a bad day, talk to someone you trust in person or over the phone. Not everything needs to be spread online, and having a real person for support will make you feel better.

3. Rumors: Controlling the Conversation about You.

It used to be when something mean was said at school you could go home and leave it behind. With cyberbullying, you can’t escape it and the pain can be worse than a physical fight. Words can be weapons against someone’s self-esteem. If you wouldn’t want the rumor you are spreading to be said about you – then don’t repeat it!

Remove Yourself from the Situation. If someone posts a mean comment about you, report it as online abuse. Delete it from your page and un-tag yourself from the post. If one of your friends posts a picture you don’t like, untag yourself and ask them to remove it.
Speak Up. If you know of someone who is being a cyber-bully or you have been bullied, talk to an adult immediately and ask for help.
Keep it Positive. Engage in GOOD gossip. Make it a habit to say nice things about your friends online. And to their face!

4. Self-Image: Paint a Positive Picture of Yourself.

Does your online persona match your offline behavior? Remember that everything you post or share online sends a message about you to others. And while we can’t always control what other people will think about us – we can control how we choose to be seen.

Think About It. When in doubt, pause before you post. If you are unsure of how a certain post, picture or comment is going to be perceived – don’t post it.
Share All Your Sides. Choose to post a variety of pictures to show the real you: some silly, some goofy, some all dolled up and some just chillin’.
Share Things That Make You Feel Good. If there is a song that makes your day better or a picture that made you smile, share it! Positive posts are likely to be shared and RT’d.

5. Mobile Conversations: Think Before You Text.

Texting can be a fun, immediate way to bond with your friends and make plans on the fly. It can also create miscommunication, misunderstandings, or worse – mistakes that can hurt you or someone you know.

Don’t Text and Drive. Just don’t do it. Not even a little bit. Even if you think you are a master texter, texting while driving leaves you distracted and prone to make mistakes.
No text is worth hurting yourself or someone else. And if your friends think they can manage texting and driving, speak up and say something. Let them know you’d feel more comfortable if they didn’t or get another ride home.
Is This a Picture You Would Show Your Grandparents? Ask yourself this question before you ever send a photo to a friend or boyfriend. Even if you think it’s a joke or think it’s no big deal, just imagine what it would feel like to have every picture or text you send
plastered on a billboard for everyone to see. Once you text a photo you have no control over where it goes or who sees it, so if you wouldn’t show it to your grandparents, don’t send that photo.
Would You Say This Face-to-Face? Sometimes we can feel tempted to say outrageous or flirtatious things in a text to get someone’s attention, but if you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying those words to them in person, then it is a sign that you are in over your head. Don’t allow someone to talk you into sexting or texting in a tone or manner you are not comfortable with. Listen to your gut; if you feel uneasy about it, then it’s not the right thing to do. Remember, once you put something down in a text it can be forwarded and copied to strangers.

You can join in to help Dove's Movement for Self-Esteem by going to Dove.com and grab the badge here

*These tips were developed in partnership with Dove^{® Global Self-Esteem Ambassador Jess Weiner. Access free tools and resources to inspire a girl in your life at Dove.com}

SORRY...I'M STILL HERE!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:19:00 +0000

I'm sitting here at 11:57 on Friday night and I realized it has been almost two weeks since I last posted on my blog. I really didn't mean to neglect my blog, but I am back in school. I'm studying to be a special education teacher, with a dual license as an elementary education teacher. I'm taking 12 hours and the work load is HUGE!

Of course, I'm not the typical student just out of high school. I'm a 40ish mom of two, working full-time. Of course, I'm not complaining because this is what I chose to do, and I'm loving it. But we have so many projects to do, that my free time is limited.

So I have a few guest bloggers lined up, with some interesting topics, to help me out, because I don't want to neglect you, my readers. So please bear with me if the posts are sometimes far apart, because I'm still here.

On another note, don't forget to thank your teen's teacher for what she/he does, because believe me when I say the teacher program is very grueling, and she/he worked hard for the license she/he has.

I AM WHO I SAY I AM

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:09:00 +0000

As parents, we need to help our teens say, "I am who I say I am" and to teach them how not to internalize all the negative things they may hear said to them or about them. Instead, they need to remind themselves everyday of all the positive qualities they have. Today, I am honored to have guest, Mischa Martineau, the creator of I Am Who I Say I Am, who will show you how you can encourage your teen to let go of those negative throughts they have about themselves.

“Look at her she thinks she’s so pretty,” sneered two girls sitting across from me on my first day of junior high. That sentence shot into my heart like a poisonous arrow.

I said to myself, “They hate me.” It didn’t help much when my mom said, “They’re just jealous.” I let the thought … “they hate me”… go viral inside my mind. As I relentlessly turned that thought -- it twisted deeper into my heart pumping poisonous feelings throughout my body – spreading like a virus. The only defense I could think of at the time was: “I’ll never EVER think I am pretty.”

After that, when people told me I was pretty, I defiantly thought, “No I am NOT.” I tried to feel safe by emotionally locking myself up. Good thing it’s impossible to throw away the key.

Now I know. People tell me stuff. I tell myself stuff. What I tell myself creates my feelings and emotions. I can make myself feel sick or I can make myself feel good. How I choose to turn my thoughts is the combination that locks or unlocks my heart.Today when I am hurt -- I write down the negative thought that’s upsetting me. Then I flip it into a positive thought. In this case “They hate me” gets flipped into “They don’t hate me. I don’t know what their problem is. I am focused on the good things about me. I am hanging out with people who value and respect me.”

As I let these I AM thoughts go viral inside my mind – I gain the upward mental traction to feel great about myself. The better I feel the more I action I take. I reach out and connect with positive people. Each action generates more positive I AM thoughts. I am a fabulous person and all the fabulous people know it! I am a conduit of good in the world. I am who I say I am.

Do you have an "I Am" message for your teen today?

Mischa Martineau is the creator of I Am Who I Say I Am a personal training program for life success -- geared toward specific markets including bully prevention.

HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR HEELYS YET?

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 18:29:00 +0000

I can't think of one teenager, who doesn't like to roller skate. I saw an opportunity on Business2Blogger to review Heelys. Now, since I don't get out much, I had never heard of Heelys, so I asked April, my 15-year-old daughter, if she knew what Heelys were and her eyes lit up, and of course, she knew what I was talking about. So I accepted this opportunity.

I had April look on the Heelys website to choose the shoes she wanted, and this was a hard choice, because there is such a great color selection. She finally chose the black and pink shoes.

For anyone who is not familiar with Heelys, they are the original shoes with wheels in the heels that allow the user to transition from a walk to a roll by shifting the weight to the heel. Users can also transform Heelys into street shoes by removing the wheels.

Heelys HX2 has two removable wheels in each shoe, making it ideal for younger kids and beginners. Not only is it easier to maintain balance, but the HX2 also does not require as much leg strength to lift up your toes to skate. When you get the hang of skating, convert the HX2 into a normal pair of Heelys by removing the front wheels. Pull out both wheels, and the HX2 becomes a normal pair of street shoes.

The first thing I thought when I saw these shoes was, "I wish these shoes were around when I my girls were toddlers". These would make the perfect shoes for a mother trying to keep up with her toddler...just kick your toes up and take off...no toddler could outrun Heelys.

Back to my review: The Heelys are very well made shoes, and come in a wide variety of colors for boys and girls/men and women. They look like a pair of running shoes, and since the wheels can be removed, they can be worn to school.

You can check out the videos if you would like to see Heelys in action before purchasing a pair of Heelys for your teen. And of course, Heelys wants everyone to be safe while skating in their Heelys, so Heelys has a Safety Play Book

With the holidays just around the corner, Heelys shoes would make your teen happy!

I received a pair of Heelys Shoes for review purposes only as a Blogger2Business member (B2B Disclosure Policy). This review is my personal opinion and was not swayed by the company.

REMEMBERING 9/11 - TEN YEARS LATER

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 15:46:00 +0000

Today marks the ten year anniversary that life in America, as we knew it, changed. Every year on 9/11, I watch a video of what happened that fateful day to remind me of why we had to go to war to fight these terrorists. I know a lot of people are against the war, but President Bush could not stand back and let these terrorists get away with this horrible act of violence, in which so many people lost their lives. President Bush had a big decision to make that day just like President Roosevelt did when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. That is a lot of pressure for one man to take on, and I believe he did what he thought was best for America.

So as you watch this video, please remember this day and pray for the families of those individuals who lost their lives and be reminded of why we are at war against these terrorists.

The following pictures were taken by Richard Drew

today, please take time to say a prayer for the families of the 3,000 who died on 9/11.

TEEN TRENDS: TEEN VIOLENCE ON THE RISE!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 15:53:00 +0000

Every time I turn on the T.V., it seems the news is inundated with stories of crime and violence. But what is really disturbing (to me) is that more and more of this crime is being committed by teenagers. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), an average of 15 teens are killed everyday, usually with firearms, and 750,000 teens are treated in ERs in the United States for violence-related injuries each year.

STATISTICS:

A CDC study of high school students found that 33% had been in a physical fight.
17% reported taking a weapon to school in the previous 30 days.
15-25% experience bullying each year.
In 2000, 9% of the murders in the U.S. were committed by persons under the age of 18.
1 in 10 teens arrested had been engaged in a violent activity that could have resulted in serious injury or death of another person.

Teen violence can include fighting, threatening, and bullying. There has also been a rise in suicide, which is violence against oneself:

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among teens.
Over the past year, 1 in 11 high school students admit to having made a suicide attempt.

Teen violence also includes self-injury, which is another form of self-violence.

*RISK FACTORS:

Involvement in gangs
Low parental involvement
Discipline that is inconsistent, lax or too harsh
Use of drugs or alcohol by teen or parents
A history of violence at home
Emotional problems
Injuring animals
Exposure to media violence
Poor performance in school
Experiencing bullying or teasing
Antisocial behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs
Aggressive behavior in early development
Poor teen supervision
Low emotional attachment to guardian or parents
Delinquent friends
Having easy access to weapons (guns, knives, etc.)

Please understand, this long list of risk factors does not necessarily cause teen violence, but they place teens in situations where they are more likely to be offenders or victims of violence.

AT RISK GROUPS (FOR TEEN VIOLENCE):

For African-American youth, homicide is the leading cause of death.
Hispanics experience homicide as the second leading cause of death among youth.
The male rate for youth homicide in 2003 was 86%, as opposed to 14% for females.
Male teens (41%) are more likely to be in a physical fight than female teenagers (25%).
12% of female teens are more likely to be forced into having sexual intercourse, a form of date violence, than males at 6%.

CONSEQUENCES OF TEEN VIOLENCE:

Total direct and indirect costs of teen violence is more than $158 billion per year.
Nationwide, 6% of teens missed school due to feelings of insecurity regarding being at school or traveling to and from school.
Healthcare costs increase in communities with teen violence.
Costs arise from injury and death, such as medical care and funeral expenses.
Decreasing property values affect areas with high incidents of teen violence, impacting both long-time residents and new residents.

TEEN VIOLENCE AND VIDEO GAMES:

Violent media, including video games, can increase thoughts of violence in teenagers.
Suspicions of others' motives increase due to playing video games.
Teens who spend more time playing video games are more likely to argue with others than teens who do not spend as much time playing violent video games.
Teens who play violent games act aggressive soon after playing.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

Talk to your teen and LISTEN to their concerns.
Know where your teen goes, what he/she does, and who he/she is with.
Be consistent and firm, but not to harsh, in your discipline.
Discourage involvement with gangs (talk to local police to find out more about gangs in your area).
Encourage positive activities, such as in-school or church involvement.
Teach the importance of a good education.
Monitor and control your teen's exposure to violence, including T.V., movies, video games, music, etc.
Get help for your teen if he/she has alcohol or drug problems.

If you notice extreme anger outbursts in your teen, consider first getting a physical for your teen to make sure there is nothing physically wrong, and then look into getting counseling for your teen to help get to the bottom of what is causing this anger, because it will only get worse.

http://www.cdc.gov/

http://www.kidshealth.org/

BACK TO SCHOOL...PRAY!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 01:19:00 +0000

Do you ever pray for your children? Do you pray for your children everyday? Well, I do...wait until your little ones become teenagers and you will find yourself praying 2, 3, 4 times a day...or more. I have the pleasure of featuring Carla McDougal, founder of Reflective Life Ministries, who writes about praying for our children as the new school year starts.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. Deuteronomy 6:5,7

Excitement is in the air! Anticipation rises. It’s that time of year when the kids go back to school.

Who can forget watching your child go to "big school" for the first time? I remember those bittersweet moments as each of my four children kissed me good-bye. I always knew that day would arrive, but nothing prepared me for the moment.

Elementary school seemed to fly by and almost overnight they were in junior high and then high school. And in a blink of an eye, they were off to college. Where did the years go?

I learned early on that when my children were away from home, praying for them comforted me. By turning them over to God, I experienced a calm peace. Year after year my prayers intensified, yet remained the same…

Elementary School – Will he make a friend? Will he eat all his lunch or just the cookies and chips? God help him to love You with all his heart.
Junior/Senior High –Will he make the right friends? Is he paying attention to the teacher? God, help him love You with all his soul.
College - Will he make some forever friends? Is he making the right life decisions? God, help him to love You with all his strength.

Just as our children face challenges, we, as moms, face our own set of challenges…

To pray over our children no matter where they are in life.
To be on our knees for those God entrusted to us.
To ultimately pray for each child to love Jesus with all his heart, soul, and mind!
Finally, to let them know we are praying for them each day! What a blessing it is to pray for our children.

I ask you to take advantage of this new season too. Do you need a fresh start? Where are you in your relationship with God? In my Bible study, Reflecting Him – Living for Jesus and Loving It, I encourage you to find Jesus in your everyday activities. He is there for us 24 hours a day, and He wants to hear our everyday prayers!

CARLA MCDOUGAL is founder of Reflective Life Ministries headquartered in the Houston, Texas area. Her true passion for her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, shines brightly, whether she is speaking or writing. She shares experiences from her own life to encourage women to live every day for Him. God is sending Carla around the world to speak to women from all walks of life—those living in the best of circumstances to those who have hit rock bottom.

Carla’s book, Reflecting Him: Living for Jesus and Loving It, is a 10-week study that encourages you to open your eyes to God’s daily life lessons. The more you ask God to be in your life, the more you will recognize His hand on everything you do. For more information on a growing number of products from Reflective Life Ministries, and to see about booking Carla for an event or interview, go to http://www.reflectivelifeministries.org/.

25 THINGS ABOUT ME

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:52:00 +0000

I have many new followers (thank you), so I thought I would tell ya'll a few things about myself:

1. I’m addicted to Icee’s. (It's my coffee!)
  2. Ziggy is my favorite cartoon character. (But I guess that’s pretty obvious.)
3. M&M’s are my favorite candy.
4. Before I eat my M&M’s, I match up the colors and then eat them two at a time (M&M). (I
    just can't mix up the colors...go figure.)
5. Pink is my favorite color.
6. Bette Midler is my favorite singer and actress. (I have all her movies and records/CD’s.)
7. But E.T. is my favorite movie of all time.
8. I collect “Got Milk?” ads. (I have 210 ads.)
9. I HATE to shop, especially for clothes.
10. But I can spend hours in a bookstore.
11. Spiders terrify me. (I have nightmares about them.)
12. At the age of 27, I was in a car accident, in a coma for 3 days and underwent open heart
     surgery. I was only given a 2% chance of survival.
13. Now, I have a terrible short-term memory. (What you tell me today, chances are I won’t
     remember it tomorrow…I might not even remember it an hour later…unless I write it
      down.)
14. I write everything down…what I see, what I hear, what I need to remember.
15. I watch Sponge Bob everyday.
16. When I was a teenager, I had a crush on Barry Manilow.
17. I didn't have my first beer until I was 24...all I have to say is "YUCK!"
18. I play the piano, but not much anymore.
19. I love to draw, but don't have much time for it.
20. I'm 40ish and I still sleep with a nightlight.
21. My first car was a 1976 blue Mustang. The car I was driving when I had my accident was
     a 1984 gray Mustang...yes, I love Mustang's.
22. I have gastroparesis and I can only eat soft/liquid foods.
23. Sometimes I cheat and eat solid foods and suffer for it later…but sometimes a girl just
      needs to eat pizza :)
24. I check the locks on my doors and my alarm at least 3 times before I go to bed…it’s a
     memory thing.
25. I have to be organized…everything has a place and everything in its place…or it drives
     me crazy (just ask my girls).

Now please leave me a comment, telling me something about you!

FEMALE TEEN SEXUALIZATION ON PRIME-TIME TELEVISION

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 14:09:00 +0000

More and more, we are seeing tween and teen girls sexualized on prime-time T.V. With shows like Gossip Girls, Glee, and Degrassi, the message our daughters are getting is "that being sexualized isn't just acceptable, it should be sought after". (Fox News)

(Sexualization refers to a person, group, or thing to be seen as sexual in nature or a person to become aware of sexuality. It also refers to the making of an interpersonal relationship into a sexual relationship.)

The Parent Television Council (PTC) conducted a study examining teen female sexualization in prime-time T.V., entitled "Sexualized Teen Girls: Tinseltown's New Target". According to PTC president, Tim Winter, "this report is less about the shocking numbers that detail the sickness of early sexualization in our entertainment culture and more about the generation of young girls who are being told how society expects them to behave".

*MAJOR FINDINGS:

(Nielsen data was used to identify the top 25 prime-time shows for ages 12-17.)

Underage female characters are shown participating in a higher percentage of sexual depictions compared to adults (47% and 29% respectively). (Underage depictions consisted of implied nudity and/or sexual gestures, such as suggestive dancing, exotic kissing, exotic touching, and/or implied intercourse.)
Only 5% of the underage female characters communicated any dislike for being sexualized.
86% of all sexualized female characters depicted in the underage and young adult category were presented as only being of high school age.
75% of shows that included sexualization of underage female characters were shows that did not have an S-description to warn parents of the sexual content.
Based upon a definition established by the APA of "healthy" vs. "unhealthy" sexuality, the study findings show that 93% of the sexual incidents among underage female characters occurred within a content that qualified to be categorized as "unhealthy".
The data revealed that 98% of the sexual incidents involving underage female characters occurred with partners with whom they did not have any form of committed relationship.
55% of the sexualized incidents involving underage characters were either initiated by the female or presented as being mutually agreeable between the teen and her partner.

A study by the Kaiser Family Foundation and Children Now reported that young teens ranked entertainment media as their top source for information regarding sexuality and sexual health. While another report revealed children are spending more time than ever consuming entertainment media - more than 75 hours per week.

GIRLS EXPOSED TO SEXUALIZING MEDIA ARE MORE LIKELY TO:

Be dissatisfied with their bodies.
Experience depression
Have lower self esteem
Are influenced on their view of virginity and/or their first sexual experience

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

Watch T.V. and movies with your tween/teen (including your sons). Ask questions and listen to what your teen says.
Read their magazines and visit the websites they visit.
If you don't like a T.V. show, say why. Talking about it is more effective than just saying, "no you can't watch that" or "because I said so".
Be understanding. Teens often feel pressure to watch popular T.V. shows, listen to music their friends like, and conform to certain styles of dress. Help your daughter (and son) make smart choices and remind her often that who she is and what she can accomplish are more important than how she looks.
You may feel uncomfortable discussing sexuality with your teen, but it is more important to have this discussion now more than ever.
Talk to your teen about the emotional ties to having sex at an early age. Let her know that sex is not like it appears on TV. There is much more to it. Talk to her about the hurt and let down she may feel, especially if it's her first time, and if the boy acts like it was no big deal.
Marketing and the media also influence adults. What you buy and watch will have an impact on what your teen does.

I came across this report on CNN earlier this week, and it is very disturbing. This little girl is only 10-years-old and CNN says this pose is the only one they could show on TV.

I have two daughters and these reports are very disturbing. I believe when boys see these types of shows and magazine covers (and believe me they are watching and looking), they expect "real" girls to act this way (sexually), and it can cause young girls to jump into a sexual relationship before she's really ready to in order to live up to the girls on these shows.

But what can you do? I belong to a group One Million Moms.com and this group works to stop these kinds of programs by attacking the sponsors, because these shows can't survive without their sponsors. So I encourage every mother, who wants the filth out of the media, to join this group. Here are some of their accomplishments.

How does a parent persuade their tween/teen not to worry about being sexy when every magazine cover, movie, and T.V. show tells her otherwise? Share your thoughts here!

*http://www.parentstv.org/FemaleSexualization/Study.htm

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: TRUE ARTISTS

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 01:25:00 +0000

(April & her BF, Kyra...they were bored!)

WHAT DOES YOUR TEEN THINK? A Teen's View on Today's World

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 00:03:00 +0000

You have to admit, the state of the world today looks pretty bleak. I don't know about you, but it worries me...everyday. But have you ever wondered what your teenager thinks about what's happening in the world today? The growing debt?Terrorist? Their future? Is he/she worried? Scared? Does he/she even care? Today, I am honored to have guest teen blogger, Monique, from RadicalParenting.com, who gives an inside look into an American teenagers view of the world.

As a teenager, I feel as if I have two different sets of eyes. People make the misconception that we don’t care about what is going on in our country and in the world. However, that is far from true. I honestly do not want to care, but there are moments in my life where the anxiety that the world gives off creeps up and swallows me whole. I don’t want to care, but I have to care. This is my future that these politicians and leaders have dangling by their fingers. Even though I just want to be this carefree teenager, the economy, president, and the rest of the world won’t let me.

If you listen to the news, you know that people are losing their jobs left and right, gas prices are going up, and families are having to take extreme cuts in their budgets. There is no doubt that we are all suffering in this economic situation. It has always been hard for teenagers to get a job, but now the difficulty has almost doubled. Businesses are laying off adult workers. Why would they hire an inexperienced teenager over the adult they just fired? We have nothing to offer businesses but the desire to make money. Speaking of money, we don’t exactly have a lot of it, and it’s kind of important...especially for gas. We need gas to go to school, to see friends, and maybe even our job (if we can get one). Did you know in some, states gas prices have reached four dollars a gallon? That would be $56.00 for a 14-gallon car. That is $56.00 that we or our parents have to come up with, without a job. However, not only is this affecting us, but it’s also affecting the people we love the most. I live in a pretty well off family, and one day I asked my mom if I could go and get something to snack on at the gas station. Her response was, “I’m sorry Monique, but we just don’t have any money right now.” Do you know how scary that is to hear as an adolescent? I just remember going to bed that night and thinking, “What are we supposed to do? What if this gets really bad? It can’t be that bad”. The horrible thing is, we just don’t have as much income as usual. I know friends whose parents are losing their jobs, losing their homes, and having trouble putting food on the table. It’s a scary thought already and, sadly, teenagers are actually experiencing this with their families.

War is another issue that scares many teenagers today. My father always told me, “No one should ever want war. War is bad. However, war is sometimes necessary.” I have always taken his words very seriously and evaluated situations like these around them. The war we are heading into seems to be created around greed and religion. Two things I honestly believe should never start a war. We are already, economically, in a bad place and a war will do nothing but worsen it. The media paints a picture that we are defending our nation against terrorism. I have no doubt that we are. We fear terrorism and yet we are sending good, honest men into countries to terrorize other good, honest men. It doesn’t make sense. I’m scared for our troops fighting overseas, and I’m also scared for us in the United States. I’m scared we are going to suffer because our government thought it was the right thing to do. I’m not someone to sing, “kumbaya,” when it comes to issues like this, however, I think we need to give peace a chance. I believe we need to stop before this turns into a nuclear World War III over religion and oil.

This has been the smallest glimpse into my mind I could possibly give you in the hopes that adults know that we teens DO care about what is going on around us. We may not know all the technical stuff; but we do hear what is going on in the world around us and are just as frightened as any American should be.

Monique is a teen writer for Radical Parenting.com, a parenting website written from the kid's perspective with 82 teen interns! She is a sixteen year old girl living in Louisiana. She is a writer, dancer, and actress who enjoys playing video games and learning about others. Her favorite subjects are English, History, and Science; she plans to attend college and get a PhD in a related field. For more articles by teens please check out RadicalParenting.com.

photo credit: rocketjim54 from Flickr

TEEN TRENDS: IS THIS NORMAL?

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 13:56:00 +0000

Everyone knows adolescence is a time of constant changing, but do you ever find yourself wondering if your teen's behavior is normal?
IS THIS NORMAL?

Dyed hair (odd colors)
Strange music
Unusual piercings
New friends

While these changes may seem strange to you, these are typical for many teenagers.

According to The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP),

TYPICAL TEEN BEHAVIOR INCLUDES:

Changing their appearance - Keeping up with trends is very important to your teen. These changes are a normal part of being a teenager. For girls, appearance is very important, but BEWARE of your teen's weight and eating habits to make sure she isn't becoming obsessed with being thin. (Boys can also suffer from eating disorders.)
Increased arguments - It is normal for your teen to argue with you more, as he/she tries to become more independent. But these arguments aren't constant nor should they become violent. It is normal for your teen to claim you do not love him/her anymore, that you are unfair, that his/her friends get to do "it", and it's not unusual for for your teen to say he/she hates you, but BEWARE, as increasing defiance, frequency in arguments, and violence can be signs of a troubled teen.
Withdrawal from family - It is normal for teens to focus more on their friends. It may seem your teen is never home, doesn't want to talk to you, and doesn't want to be seen in public with you (ouch!). Don't take it personally. Again, they are looking for independence and "finding themselves". But let your teen know that he/she is still expected at certain family functions. My 15-year-old daughter will only go to the movies with me during the day. I can forget going to the movies with her on a Friday or Saturday night when she might be seen out with her mother. But I don't let it bother me. (Remember when you were a teenager?)
Emotional ups and downs - If you have a teenager, you know all about the moodiness and mood swings. This is typical behavior, but BEWARE of anxiety, sadness that lingers, or if your teen doesn't go out with friends anymore, as these can be signs of depression.
Experimenting with cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs - It doesn't matter how much we talk about the dangers of these substances, most teens will experiment. Most teens will try them once or twice and then leave them alone, but BEWARE of a drop in school performance, dramatic behavioral changes, or if valuables start missing from around the house, because this could indicate that your teen has a substance abuse problem.
Teenagers also become aware of their sexual development. It is important to discuss the risks of having sex at such a young age, including unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and the hurt feeling that can come from breaking up soon after having sex. Most parents dread the "sex" talk, but take it from someone who has had "the talk" twice, it can be done. It's easier if you don't schedule "the talk". Look for opportunities to have short talks with your teen about sex, pregnancy, and STDs - when your're riding in the car, commercials on TV, a sex scene in a movie you're both watching (especially if it's teens having sex - I found this the easiest way to bring up sex. Just ask your teen what he/she thinks about teens have sex and take your ques from them). If you look for them, the opportunities will be there, and believe me, it is much easier to talk to your teen if you "casually" mention sex. They will be more likely to open up to you and tell you what they think or ask questions.

HOW TO DEAL WITH TYPICAL TEENAGE BEHAVIOR:

Listen to your teen. You aren't expected to always have the answer to their problems. They just need you to listen.
Stick to your rules and make sure your teen understands your expectations and the consequences of breaking the rules.
Teach your teen your values to show your teen what is important to you.
Try to avoid confrontation. Yelling and screaming does not work with teenagers. Try to work through your disagreements calmly.
Answer your teen's questions about the physical changes he/she will experience. Don't ignore your teen's sexuality or he/she may seek out peers to discuss these issues. Keep the lines of communication open, so your teen knows he/she can come to you for advice. (See my post on talking to your teen.)
Choose your battles. If you constantly nit-pick about things that aren't important, your teen will shut you out. Hanging with friends who do drugs and are constantly in trouble is a big deal; your teen dyeing his/her hair pink isn't. (It will grow out.)

Of course, all teenagers are different, and your teen will experience a wide range of new feelings and issues. And if you're lucky, you're teen won't dye his/her hair pink (Hollie dyed her hair blue!)

*http://www.aacap.org/
**Picture by: http://www.hairstylescuts2011.com/

WARNING: Don't Let Your Daughter Become A Victim!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 01:44:00 +0000

She thought she had the flu...fever, sore throat, sore muscles, but two days after walking into the hospital, Amy Rae Elifritz died from TSS.Toxic Shock Syndrome is an acute infection characterized by high fever, a sunburnlike rash, vomiting, and diarrhea, followed by, in severe cases, shock that is caused by a toxin-producing strain of the common bacterium staphylococcus aureus, occurring more often in young menstruating women, who use vaginal tampons.

Amy's Story

Amy was a healthy 20 year old, whose symptoms were initially very mild and did not cause any undue concern. The fact that she was menstruating seemed unimportant.

On Wednesday afternoon prior to her death, she developed a fever and began vomiting. After an ibuprofen, her temperature quickly returned to normal. She assumed a flu bug had run its course. Amy was able to chat on her computer and watch TV that night, she went to sleep easily. Thursday morning, Amy felt somewhat better; her vomiting had ended, but she had developed diarrhea. She drank orange juice and 7-up to stay hydrated.

Friday morning, Amy woke up very weak with a sore throat and sore muscles, so her mother took her to Prompt Med as soon as it opened. Her blood pressure was low and her pulse rate high, so it was recommended that she go directly to the ER for hydration. When she arrived at the hospital, they immediately began fluids and did blood work only to discover her kidneys were at 25% function. Amy was admitted.

Saturday, Amy's condition had worsened. She had become septic and was moved to CCU where more aggressive treatment began. Within hours she developed fluid in her lungs, was sedated, and put on a ventilator.

By Sunday morning, the stress on Amy's body began to take its toll on her heart. She had two episodes throughout the day that required her heart to be shocked back into rhythm. A third heart episode proved to be more than her body could withstand.

Amy died Sunday night, June 13, 2010 at 10:55 p.m.

Amy's mother, Lisa Elifritz, founded You ARE Loved to help raise awareness about the link between tampons and TSS with the goal of saving lives.

HISTORY

Initially, toxic shock syndrome was associated with the use of ultra-absorbent tampons by menstruating girls and women. Between 1978 and 1980, thousands went to emergency rooms with high fever, vomiting, low blood pressure, diarrhea, and a rash resembling sunburn. Once ultra-absorbent tampons were taken off the market, the number of cases of toxic shock syndrome decreased substantially.

Although scientists still do not fully understand the link between TSS and tampons, most medical researchers suspect that tampons introduce oxygen into the vagina, which is normally an oxygen-free area of the body. Oxygen triggers bacterial growth, and the more absorbent the tampon, the longer it is left in place and the more toxin-producing bacteria it can harbor.

SYMPTOMS:

Confusion
Diarrhea
General ill-feeling
Headaches
High fever, sometimes accompanied by chills
Low blood pressure
Muscle aches
Nausea and vomiting
Organ failure (usually kidneys and liver)
Redness of eyes, mouth, throat
Seizures
Widespread red rash that looks like a sunburn

AFTER AFFECTS OF TSS:

Loss of fingers and toes due to gangrene
Permanent kidney and liver damage
Deafness and blindness
Peeling skin, and loss of nails and hair
Continual infections
Short term memory loss
No energy for months or even years
Psychological and emotional distress

PREVENTION:

Wash hands before and after changing a tampon
Change tampon frequently (every 4 to 6 hours) (My girls change their tampons everytime they have to use the bathroom, which is more frequent.)
Use tampons that are NOT super absorbent
Use pads at night (don't wear tampons all day)
Use mini pads on light days

WARNING:

Contact a doctor immediately if your daughter develops a high fever or rash while menstruating, particularly if she has been using tampons during the entire course of her menstruation. A fever or rash following recent surgery is also cause for concern. Getting medical help as soon as possible after noting these symptoms may be the difference between life and death. According to the Mayo Clinic, anyone who has had a previous staph or strep infection, should stop using tampons completely.

My 15-year-old daughter just started wearing tampons last month and we did discuss TSS, but after reading Amy's story, I'm having second thoughts about letting her wear tampons.

If you have a tween or teen daughter, discuss these prevention strategies and signs and symptoms of TSS.

31 DAYS OF FREEDOM!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 15:15:00 +0000

If you are a regular visitor to my blog, then you know I have blogged on several occasions about human trafficking. As a mother of two daughters, this terrifies me (and is the reason I'm very overprotective). In the U.S., 200,000 to 350,000 children are at risk of being trafficked into the sex industry each year. Human trafficking is the fastest growing criminal industry, grossing over $30 million dollars a year. Women and children are at the greatest risk of being trafficked for the purpose of prostitution, strip clubs, pornography, and live sex shows, but no one is immune...no matter the race, gender or class.

And most Americans are oblivious to the fact that THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN THE US. It could be happening in your town.

July is the month when we celebrate our FREEDOM. When you think of FREEDOM what do you think about? FREEDOM of speech...FREEDOM of religion, but we also have the FREEDOM of going to a movie whenever we want, FREEDOM to eat at any restaurant whenever we want...pretty much anything our heart desires (as long as it's legal). But there are women and children who are kept caged like animals and sold 10 to 15 times per day/night, 7 days a week, totaling between 9,360 and 14,040 sex acts a year. (This is just ONE child.)

ABOLITION INTERNATIONAL (previously The Home Foundation) is challenging you to donate $1.00 a day during the month of July to help free women and children from sex slavery.

One dollar. That's is not a lot to ask. I spend more than that on my daily ICEE fix. Won't you join me in giving up a little piece of your freedom to help put a stop to this horrific crime. Visit ABOLITION INTERNATIONAL's 31 DAYS OF FREEDOM to see how you can help.

The Home Foundation/Abolition International is an organization that strives to educate communities, build shelters and orphanages, and provide medical equipment to those ministering to the victims of trafficking.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY: CLICK FOR YOUR MOMMA

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 13:04:00 +0000

I'm posting this WW again in honor of my MIL who is having a lumpectomy this morning for breast cancer.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=2 Click for your momma, your wife, your sister, your friend!

TEEN TRENDS: IS YOUR TEEN DRIVING?

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 17:44:00 +0000

When I see accidents like this one, I never want my two girls driving. The driver of the red car (a teenager) was texting and never saw the motorcycle. (You can learn more about this accident below.)

Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death in 15-17 year olds. Teen behaviors which contribute to teen-related crashes, include inexperience and immaturity combined with speed, drinking and driving, not wearing seat belts, distracted driving (cell phone use, loud music, other teen passengers, etc.), drowsy driving, nighttime driving, and drug use.TEEN DRIVER STATISTICS:

16 year olds have a higher crash rate and and are more likely to die in an MVC.
In 2006, 3,490 teens ages 15-20 died in crashes.
Between the years 1995 and 2004, 15, 16 and 17 year old drivers had crashes that claimed the lives of 30,917.
In 2005, of 1,000 15 to 17 year olds surveyed, more than 50% said they use cell phones while driving, 69% speed, 64% speed to go through a yellow light, 68% played with radio/CD player while driving, 49% eat and drink while driving, 47% said passengers distracted them, and 50% believe most crashes are caused by alcohol.

In March 2011, TeenDriver.com, a new service that gives parents the tools they need to raise safe drivers, was introduced. TeenDriver.com is different from existing GPS tracking devices and cameras that track a teen driver’s every move. Instead, this new service aims to improve teen driver safety through community feedback and ongoing dialogue, encouraging conversations between parents and their teenage drivers.“In my neighborhood we’ve had teen drivers who consistently drove too fast. One was a neighbor’s boyfriend and so talking to the parents was easy. Another was not easy. Asking him to slow down didn’t help, but getting in touch with the parents made a difference,” said Juan Aguilar, co-founder of TeenDriver. “Our service aims to improve teen driver safety through community feedback and provides a middle ground for citizens to report dangerous driving behavior.”Parents of teen drivers can subscribe to TeenDriver.com for a low yearly fee to receive confidential reports about their teen driver as well as tips and information on raising safe drivers. Membership includes a license plate cover and car magnet with a phone number and website that members of the community can use to report dangerous driving behavior. The company is also publishing safe driving guides for teens and parents.

TeenDriver.com was founded to help reduce the statistics listed above and keep the roads safe for new teen drivers.

For parents interested in the TeenDriver.com, a special discount for the service is being offered to my readers – just use Promo Code ZIGGY05 for a 35% discount. Even without the promotion code, this is an affordable program.

(The Honda crotch rocket rider was traveling at approximately 85 mph. The VW driver was talking on a cell phone when she pulled out from a side street, apparently not seeing the motorcycle. The rider's reaction time was not sufficient enough to avoid this accident.

The car had two passengers and the bike rider was found INSIDE the car with them. The Volkswagen actually flipped over from the force of impact and landed 20 feet from where the collision took place.

All three involved (two in the car and the bike rider) were killed instantly. This graphic demonstration was placed at the Motorcycle Fair by the Police and Road Safety Department.)

NEW GRAPHIC CIGARETTE WARNING LABELS

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 15:25:00 +0000

The labels above are the new warning labels that cigarette companies are now required to put on all cigarette packages (starting in October 2012). There are nine new warning labels in all.

"The 2009 Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act called for cigarette packages to include warning statements in large type covering half of the front and back of each package and graphic images showing adverse health effects from smoking." Proposed in November under a law that put the tobacco industry under the control of the FDA, the new labels must be on cigarette packages and in advertisements starting in October 2012.

Seeing these new labels may not encourage smokers, especially long-term smokers, to give up smoking, but the main goal is to stop children and teenagers from starting to smoke. According to the American Lung Association, each day 4,800 teenagers aged 11 to 17 smoke their first cigarette, and nearly 2,000 will become regular smokers. That is nearly two million teenagers annually.

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius states, "We want kids to understand that smoking is gross not cool, and there is really nothing pretty about having mouth cancer or making your baby sick if you smoke."

More than 221,000 Americas will be diagnosed with lung cancer in 2011, according to the American Cancer Society. Nearly 157,000 men and women are expected to die from lung cancer this year in the United States.

While these new labels may disturb some people, all I have to say is "it's about time!" We know teenagers pride themselves on looking their best. They believe they can't die. If we tell them "cigarettes can kill", they don't fully comprehend what that means. (Like Dr. Phil always says, the logical part of their brain has not fully developed.) Maybe seeing these images every time they reach for a cigarette will make them think first!

What are your thoughts on these new labels? Good? Bad?

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/06/21/us-tobacco-usa-warnings-idUSTRE75K0OV20110621

TEEN TRENDS: WOULD YOU KNOW IF YOUR TEEN WAS SNEAKING OUT?

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 17:28:00 +0000

(This blog is written to inform parents and others of disturbing trends of teenagers.)

When Hollie was 15, she had a friend sleep over one night. Usually when I go to sleep, I don't wake up, but this Friday night, I woke up around 1:00 a.m. with this uneasy feeling. So I go to Hollie's room, open the door, and there was her window wide open. I turned on the light, and of course, Hollie and her friend were gone. PANIC! So I go look around outside, in the backyard, down the street, trying to decide what to do. Do I call her dad? Call the police? After a few minutes, I went back into her room, shut the door, turned off the light, hopped in her bed and waited....and waited...and waited (it really wasn't that long). After about twenty minutes, I heard Hollie and her friend outside giggling. Then I heard one of them say "Shhhhh". I sit and watch...Hollie's friend quietly climbs back through the window. Next, I watched Hollie climb in the window and quietly put the window back down; she turned around and SURPRISE! There I was...

Would you know if your tween/teen was sneaking out at night?
If/when you catch your teen sneaking out, you may think it is the first time, but in reality, it's probably not his/her first time. Teens can be clever. There are even websites telling teenagers how to sneak out of the house without getting caught.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

The first time you catch your teen sneaking out, take away the electronics. I mean everything; the computer, their cell phone, TV, video games, Ipod/MP3 player, etc. (If you read my blog, then you know I'm all for stripping away everything to get them back on track.) This may seem extreme for a "first" offense, but the lack of text messaging will torture your teen more than simply grounding.
The easiest way to prevent your teen from sneaking out is to have an alarm system installed. Be sure that all doors and windows are closed, locked, and the alarm is set before you go to bed. (This is one thing I ended up doing. Hollie knew about the alarm on the doors, but she didn't know I had an alarm placed on her window.)
Check on your teen at odd hours during the night. There is a chance you will catch him/her gone and (like I did with Hollie) be sitting on the bed when he/she comes back. The shock of being caught will not only let your teen know you are aware of what he/she has been up to, but you’ll also be able to tell if he/she is high on drugs, alcohol or just seen the girlfriend/boyfriend.
Talk with your teen about why it is not safe to sneak out and explain what can happen that late at night. If he/she is meeting up with friends or a girlfriend/boyfriend, explain the dangerous of drug use, late-night partying, having sex too young, etc. You need to let your teen know this behavior is not acceptable in your house.
Set consequences for sneaking out after everyone has gone to bed, and let your teen know what those consequences are.
If you do catch your teen in the act of sneaking out or sneaking back in, allow him/her to go back to bed and handle it in the morning. The last thing you want to do is freak out. Sleep on it and discuss the problem the next day.
If all the above suggestions fail and your teen keeps finding ways to sneak out, get a sleeping bag and sleep in your teen's room. Remember, this will only work with persistence. Try it for a couple of weeks so your teen gets the message.

Teens take risks, and while we want to encourage independence, sneaking out at night to hang out with friends is just too dangerous in this day and age.

The biggest mistake parents can make is thinking their teen won't sneak out at night, because chances are they will.

P.S. It is summertime, your teen will get restless, and there will be more opportunities to sneak out at night. Be on alert!

ARE YOU A MOM? THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!

noreply@blogger.com (Laura) — Sat, 28 May 2011 15:17:00 +0000

As a mom, you are so busy taking care of your family that I bet you forget about taking care of yourself. But your family needs you to be healthy.

Heart disease has always been considered a man's disease, but heart disease, also known as cardiovascular disease or coronary artery disease, is the leading cause of death in women.

FACTS:

Heart disease is the #1 killer of women age 20 and over, killing approximately one woman every minute.
More women die from heart disease than the next four causes of death combined, including all forms of cancer.
While 1 in 30 women die of breast cancer, 1 in 3 die of heart disease.
Only 1 in 5 women believe that heart disease is her greatest health risk.
90% of women have one or more risk factors for developing heart disease.
80% of cardiac events in women could be prevented if women made the right choices for their heart, including diet, exercise, and abstinence from smoking.
Heart disease in woman can be difficult to diagnose.
Women may experience a dangerous delay in heart attack care.
African-American women are at a greater risk of heart disease, stroke, and other cardiovascular diseases than Caucasian women.
African-American females have higher death rates from heart disease, stroke, and other cardiovascular diseases than Caucasian women.

HEART DISEASE RISK FACTORS:

DIABETES is a major risk factor for stroke and heart disease. Women with diabetes have 2 to 4 higher death rates from heart disease.
HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE usually has no symptoms, but it raises your risk of stroke, heart failure, and kidney failure. It is considered the "silent killer".
CHOLESTEROL increases your risk of heart disease, heart attack, and stroke.
Women who smoke and take oral contraceptives may be several times more likely to suffer a heart attack.
Women with high job stress have a 40% increased of heart disease.

NO YOUR NUMBERS:

Normal blood pressure: Systolic (top #) - less than 120; Diastolic (bottom #) - less than 80.
Cholesterol: Total - less than 200-mg/dL, LDL (bad) cholesterol - less than 100-mg/dL - optimal; 100 -120-mg/dL - near optimal; 130 - 159-mg/dL - borderline high, HDL (good) cholester - 50-mg/dL or higher.
Triglycerides: Less than 150-mg/dL
Weight/Body Mass Index (BMI): BMI of 18.5 - 24.9 - healthy weight; 25.0-29.9 - overweight; 30.0 and above - obese.

SIGNS OF A HEART ATTACK:

(Some heart attacks are sudden and intense, but most heart attacks start slowly, with mild pain and discomfort. Often people aren't sure what is wrong and wait too long before getting help)

Uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain in the center of your chest. It lasts more than a few minutes or goes away and comes back.
Pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.
Shortness of breath with or without chest discomfort.
Breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheartedness.
Women are somewhat more likely than men to experience other common symptoms, particularly shortness of breath, nausea/vomiting, and back or jaw pain.
If you have any of these signs, don't wait more than five minutes before calling 9-1-1.

SIGNS OF A STROKE AND TIAs:

Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body.
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding.
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes.
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination.
Sudden severe headache with no known cause.
It is important to take immediate action. Given within three hours of the start of symptoms, a clot-busting drug can reduce long-term disability for the most common type of stroke.

PREVENTION TIPS FOR WOMEN:

Eat good fats - omega-3 fatty acids found in salmon and other fish (eat at least tow 3.5 oz servings per week) and monounsaturated fats in olive and canola oils raise good cholesterol.
Quit smoking.
Walk 30 minutes a day.
Eat fresh fruit and vegetables.
Cut down on salt - less than 2,300-mg a day; 1,500-mg if you are older than 50.
Get happy. Happier people enjoy 22% lower risk of developing heart disease. Depression can triple your risk.
Talk to your doctor! If you are experiencing symptoms, such as stomach pain, shortness of breath, shoulder pain, fatigue or nausea, ask your doctor if it might be heart disease.

I know this is a different kind post than I normally write, but we can't help our teens, if we are not taking care of ourselves. So this is just a reminder to find time to take care of yourself.

*http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/