I see a lot of different houses, and sometimes I feel like a bit of an historian. I’m getting pretty good at guessing when a house was built or last renovated (if ever). I’ve seen some lovely houses and I’ve seen some hideous ones. I’ve seen good uses of space and I’ve seen some that are poorly-planned out. Today, we will explore one the latter category. My own house has a partly-finished basement that we would love to one day finish completely. We know that neither of us has the vision required to come up with a floorplan that was mediocre at best, so we agreed to hire a professional-someone who understands how to maximize the usable area without making it look like a couple guys with pizza and a 2-4 got together one weekend and had at ‘er. If you want someone with vision to help you with your floorplan and decorating, talk to my friend Janice at Henry’s. She’s smart and actually cool. And she would NEVER let your basement turn out like the one in this video!

My intrigue in the name of this performance was only enhanced when I walked in the theatre and saw both performers face-down on the ground, booze in hand. The Supertramp theme music added to the awesome, as did the trombone, guitar, tickle trunk, and disco ball on set. Then the snoring began. But it wasn’t just any snoring, it was synchronized clown snoring.
Little did I know, the simplicity of the set was entirely deceptive. As the show progressed, more and more elements of insanity joined the stage, not to mention the audience.
The form of the show was brilliant. It ended as it began, as they completed the difficult task they set out at the beginning of their journey and then both fell asleep. Their comedy style was intense! Like Shakespeare, their comedy scenes were immediately and cruelly followed by intense emotional moments of reflection, but the shifts were far more pronounced. They were often so immediate and blurred that you found yourself wanting to laugh at a mourning son and his widower father, unsure if you should feel guilty for doing so.

The language heartless buffoons spoke was a brilliant blend of English, Eastern European, I think some Scandinavian, and a little franglais for good measure. They are so good at speaking this gibberish that the audience is even able to learn some of the frequently-used words, and anticipate new words. Brilliant.
In an attempt to avoid the inevitable audience participation of a show run by 2 actors raised in a town of street performers (why isn’t it called busking here, anyway?), I sat back a couple rows and off to the side. It was in vain, because Fozby needed an opponent in the sword fight, and Tonk spotted me. It was a blast!
While I would have been happy to see the show without so much crude humour, it was a riot, and I’m glad I went. These are brilliant performers with lots of career ahead of them. They even announced the sequel, Vice Reversa, which is sure to be a great show. Watch for it at Nextfest and the Fringe. And if you see clowns as passé or irrelevant, you have obviously never seen a show like this. It boldly goes where no clown has gone before.

Photo credit: Eric Petersen (my man date for the evening).

Hold your breath before you hit play on this video.

MONDAY April 29th

Opening reception. I’m arranging a super dinner, Fairmont style. The food starts at 6:00 pm.

TUESDAY April 30th

Johnston Canyon is a special place for my family – a favorite stop in Banff. The trail is easy and there are 2 separate waterfalls along it: the first is halfway up, and to get a close-up look at it, you have to pass through a small cave. The other is at the top of the trail. I’ve never actually made it up there (darned double-wide strollers), but I know it will be gorgeous! Once we all arrive, we will stop for a group photo and then head back down to bus. That’s our Tuesday activity.

WEDNESDAY May 1st

On Wednesday, we will take transit to Sulphur Mountain (I’m including a 3-day pass with your registration), where we will ride the gondola to the top (love in a Banff gondola, livin’ it up when I’m going doooown…).

BANFF TRIVIA-Sulphur Mountain has a prominence of 670 m, which is about half that of the Grouse Grind.

Once we get to the top, take some time to enjoy the beautiful view. Take the boardwalk that goes along the ridge to another peak. We will probably spend about an hour up here, so we have plenty of time for our next stop of the day, the Upper Hot Springs!

The Upper Hot Springs are just across the parking lot from the gondola, and they are wonderful! No need to bring a towel or swimsuit, because that will all be taken care of. No, it’s not a nudist colony! I’ve taken care of the rentals, including a 1920’s style full-body bathing suit (yes, that’s me in the photo). Sounds to me like one awesome group photo!

THURSDAY May 2nd 

For the grand finale, I have chartered a couple helicopters to take us on a 25 minute flying tour of the Winfield Glacier. I cannot wait for this flight! This will be the second voyage for BaconAir, the first being the afternoon jaunt from Vancouver to Whistler at the last national conference. I think I like this tradition!

This is an optional activity, but I think you’ll have a hard time saying “no” to floating over an ice mountain in a chopper.

The cost for this experience is $321, which, like the flight to Whistler, includes a generous donation to the Royal LePage Shelter Foundation. We raised $1500 the first time around, and I hope to meet or exceed that amount this trip.

And that’s the conference. Below is a recap of the cost breakdown:

The cost of the conference is $654. This cost includes:
-Chance to win a 4-handed massage at the Willow Creek spa, valued at $359 (first 10 paid registrants will be entered in a draw)
-3 training sessions
-3 breakfasts
-2 dinners (opening and closing receptions)
-3-day public transit access
-Johnston Canyon group photo
-Gondola lift ticket
-Souvenir gondola photo
-Banff Hot Springs entrance admission, towel, and swimsuit rental
-Banff Hot Springs group photo
-Networking with a select group of highly-motivated REALTORS (trust me, I hand-picked each guest).
-Awesome memories
-Conference Goodie Bags
-Free hugs
-The chance of a lifetime to meet my wife, Kelly-Dawn.

Not included in the registration fee:
-Air fare
-Hotel room
-Helicopter tour ($321)
-Lunch
-Dinner Tuesday and Wednesday

Optional spouse/guest dinner package (Includes Monday and Thursday dinners only) for $250.

Payment arrangements available.

I can’t tell you how excited I am for this learncation! I’m working diligently to prepare some excellent training on social media and technology, and I can safely guarantee a very memorable time.

Talk soon,

-Jerry

Click here to see more details on the activities.

Who? What? When? Where? Why?

Who?
Some people complain that Royal LePage’s National Conference is way too big. Admittedly, 900 people is a huge group. Some think that HeadStart is better because its only 300. This event is much, much smaller. I will run it with as few as 15 people, and in order to preserve the intimate setting I envision, I won’t allow more than 50 participants at this event.

This is an invite-only event. I am hand-selecting REALTORS who I think “get it” and would help make it a success. If you have someone in mind who you think would also be a good fit, please pass their name to me.

What?
The purpose of this conference is to learn, network, explore, eat, and have a blast together. I have named it “Bacon in Banff–a Social Media Retreat for REALTORS,” but let’s call it “Bacon in Banff” for short.

 I will offer training on the tools and skills I’ve learned, with an emphasis on Twitter and FaceBook, as well as the technology I use for both business and pleasure. Things like using the iPad to sign listings and offers, useful apps and accessories for your devices, photography and video editing and tips, as well as friendly and useful cyber creeping advice (just in case). You will also be expected to share your own knowledge with others so we can all learn and teach. This is not your typical conference.

When?
Opening reception is at 6:00 p.m. Monday April 29th, 2013 and the closing banquet is Thursday night, May 2nd. Sessions are Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings, while your brains are fresh. Each session will be followed by an excursion, and lots of free time. With all of the complaints we hear about inadequate downtime for networking or guest-led events, I promise to not overbook you at this conference. Mark your calendars now.

Where?
I have a room block at The Fairmont Banff Springs, and they are offering excellent rates (the benefits of avoiding peak seasons and the weekend). Rates start at an incredibly low $199 for the Fairmont and go to $419 for the Fairmont Gold Deluxe, with several options in between. You should see the Gold Floor at this place!

As for the special events I have planned, Tuesday’s outing is a hike up Johnston Canyon (a favourite spot for my family), which has 2 beautiful waterfalls along the way. Wednesday is a gondola ride to the top of Sulphur Mountain, with incredible panoramic views of Banff and her many surrounding mountains. It might be cold up there, so once we descend on the gondola we will head straight next door to the natural hot springs pool. Photo shoot! Thursday is the grand finale. Something I’ve never even done-a Helitour of Winston ice field. When I asked the tour operators what to tell my guests to expect, their reply was, “Tell your guests that they are going to have the time of their life so be prepared for that!” How does that sound?

Why?
While my wife Kelly-Dawn and I were driving to Utah one day to see our newest nephew, we were talking about conferences, and how I always plan extra-curricular activities. She noticed how many people would come out and got the idea that I should plan my own conference and do the training as well. So she gets credit for the initial idea, but I’ve got to be honest, this is largely a selfish endeavour. Just think, I get to hand-pick the guests, I’ve chosen one of the most desirable places on Earth to visit, I get to see my favourite people in the world and make some new friends, I get to eat some fantastic food, and I get to speak in front of everyone. There’s also a chance I will get some business out of the ordeal. So, if you see this as too self-serving, I will understand. For everyone else, I can assure you that you will be equally rewarded by attending.

Cost & Incentive
Early bird cost is $543 for registration, reception, all breakfasts, training, all outings except for the helicopter ride, and the closing banquet (plus a couple goodies).
After January 28, $654.
Optional helicopter ride and lunch and donation to Shelter, add $321.

*Not included in the registration cost: your hotel room, lunch and dinner on Tuesday and Wednesday, spa access, shopping, and treats for me. However, I might be able to help you get a massage for free. The first 10 paid registrants will be entered into a draw to win a 60 minute, 4-handed massage at the incredible Willow Stream Spa, valued at $359. I can’t think of a person in the world wouldn’t want this.

-Jerry

REALTOR®, Royal LePage Noralta, Edmonton, Alberta
1-780-966-6537 (Cell, text, iMessage)
@ZoomJer

Want to see it? Call Jerry at 1-780-966-6537 or fill out the contact form below.