Zoom on Sex

'Women enjoy best sex as they approach 40'

2010-07-07T09:48:00.001-07:00

Most women enjoy best sex as they approach 40 because they fear that their "biological clock" is ticking, say researchers.

A new study has found women are more likely to have sexual fantasies and affairs in their 30s and early 40s than in their younger years, despite the fact their bodies may be in decline.

According to the researchers, this is because as women approach the milestone they may sense that their "window of opportunity" to have kids is closing and their fertility is declining, 'The Daily Telegraph' reported.

And, this instinctual reaction is an increased appetite for sex, said the researchers who have based their findings on a survey of 900 women.

The survey divided respondents into three groups – those at their most fertile (aged 19 to 26), those whose fertility was declining (aged 27 to 45) and those who were approaching or had reached the menopause.

How to share wildest sexual fantasies with your partner

2010-06-28T05:45:00.001-07:00

When it comes sharing sexual fantasies, even the ''closest'' couples find it hard to communicate their innermost ''naughty acts'' to each other. But if you're one of those who don't want to miss out on the fun, then here are few tips to get your mind ''moving''.

Not many couples are able to act out their sexual fantasies even if they are pro in the sack. The problem-How to share your wild thoughts? What would your partner think about you? How would he/she react? Will they comply or not?

Such questions and many others flood the minds of many sexually active adults who want to explore their wildest of sexual dreams, reports Fox News.

While sharing lewd, obscene, or sensuous scenes with your partner can pose to be a big problem, it also has an upside- not only can you divulge your sexual desires but could even get a sneak peek into your lover's libidinous thoughts as well.

So if you want to spice things up by sharing it all, sex and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright's guide will prove a saviour for you.

And she says that before taking the plunge and share, you should first ask yourself the following questions:

1. What's my motivation?

Why do you want to share this fantasy? What turns you on about sharing? Do you hope the sharing can be a form of foreplay or something more? Are you hoping that your fantasy will be fulfilled? Will it be advantageous to your relationship to share, revving up sex for the both of you?

2. Will sharing diffuse my own pleasuring?

Many lovers like to have a few tricks up their sleeves in bed, and their private fantasies are often what makes or breaks the sexual moment. Whether it's getting through a sex act or working your way to orgasm, will sharing take away from how your fantasy benefits you now? Will you be able to enjoy having the cat out of the bag?

3. Am I in the right kind of relationship for sharing?

Not every relationship can weather such intimate sharing. You need to be in a secure, trusting relationship. Your sexual union should be able to provide you with the support and safety needed to get over any nervousness and anxiety, and to field any reactions. Lovers need to make each other feel accepted and emotionally safe. This includes being able to refuse a request to act out a fantasy without putting the other down.

4. Can my partner handle my fantasies?

Some lovers can't handle hearing about certain sex acts, especially if they involve "who" you''re fantasizing about. Partners who are sex negative or uncomfortable with sexual intimacy in general are not going to be the best candidates for such sharing. So consider what your lover may be open to and which types of fantasies may cause more harm than good.

5. Am I ready to hear my partner's fantasies?

Lovers tend to expect reciprocity when sharing fantasies. It's usually not a one-way street, so you have to consider how you might react to your partner's fantasies. Can you go there? How can you provide the same safety you're hoping for?

After the self-questioning comes the sharing part, so think long and hard about when to open up. And don't expose a fantasy after a hot romp, for it may not be received as well as one meant to arouse desire.

Let your partner know that you want to share something and explain your reasons for wanting to share.

Finally, remind your lover that your relationship means more than any fantasy. Your partner should not feel undesirable at all.

What women think while having sex

2010-06-28T05:44:00.001-07:00

A Hollywood hunk, ex-lovers, a blue film scene and even what to buy in a grocery store—these are things that women think of while having sex.

Some women have now revealed what really scores with them between the sheets.

Single comedian Shazia Mirza, 34, said that some of her friends revealed that during sex they are mentally writing a to-do list, remembering clothes they have to wash, what they've got to buy at Tesco's or those shoes they love in Selfridges.

And some women even think of men they secretly fantasise of.

"A friend of mine, who really loves her husband, told me that during sex she can't help thinking about all the men she secretly really desires, like Jeremy Beadle and Jeremy Paxman," the Sun quoted her as saying.

"I've been married twice and had many lovers and to be honest, with past lovers I've been so bored in bed, I've taken to compiling mental grocery lists and calculating exactly how many shoes are in the wardrobe (82 pairs)," said author Kathy Lette, 51.

"Most wives are taken for granted. But how we'd LIKE to be taken is by a muscular-thighed Adonis with pecs appeal.

"Luckily sex with Johnny Depp is only the flick of a light switch away. Ah, Johnny - a man whose sex appeal is so deadly it should be registered at police headquarters as a lethal weapon.

"Doing the horizontal tango with George Clooney is also amazing - if only he'd been with me at the time!" she added.

Sarah Millican, 33, is in a relationship, and she said: "I never walk out of a film at the cinema. I'm the same with sex. I always think it might get better. To be honest, as long as I've got a bag of Maltesers, I'm not going anywhere."

Male menopause symptoms 'identified'

2010-06-17T10:55:00.001-07:00

For the first time, scientists claim to have identified the symptoms associated with what has
been termed late-onset hypogonadism or 'male menopause' caused by a reduction in testosterone production in some aging men.
However, unlike female menopause, which affects all women, the male menopause is relatively rare, affecting only two per cent of the elderly men, and is often linked to poor
general health and obesity, say the scientists.
A team from Manchester University, Imperial College London and University College London has based its findings on an analysis of the testosterone levels of 3,369 men between the ages of 40 and 79 years from eight European nations.
The scientists asked details about their sexual, physical and psychological health and found that only nine of the 32 candidate symptoms were actually associated with low testosterone levels, the most important being the three sexual symptoms -- decreased frequency of morning erection, decreased frequency of sexual thoughts and erectile dysfunction.
Their research concluded that the presence of all three sexual symptoms, together with low testosterone levels, was required to establish a diagnosis of male menopause though
other non-sexual symptoms may also be present.
These other symptoms included three physical symptoms -- an inability to engage in vigorous activity such as running or lifting heavy objects, an inability to walk more than a km,
inability to bend, kneel or stoop -- and three psychological symptoms -- loss of energy, sadness, and fatigue.

Viagra and its side-effects

2010-06-14T09:02:00.001-07:00

If you think Viagra and other erectile drugs are passport to satisfying sexual encounters, think again. Dr Mahinder Watsa warns you of their side-effects
It's a growing phenomenon to find all health related issues being prescribed a pill. Common cold, a mild headache, to generally feeling down and out, everything comes with a pill to snap you out of it. Sex then, is no exception. Increasingly, we find young men, with no apparent major sexual problem, taking to drugs meant to help the ones suffering from erectile dysfunction. To make matters worse, hardly anyone realise the adverse repercussions of such self-medication. A temporary boost in their sexual performance, may land their long-term wellness in jeopardy.
The larger picture
The fast food generation is slowly forgetting the art of love and depend excessively on easily available drugs to whip-up their flagging sex life. Scientists may credit Sildenafil as ‘the magic bullet to help couples have deeper and more satisfying sexual encounters.’ But the truth is, the drug doesn't cause an automatic erection. For it to be effective, mental and tactile stimulation and foreplay engagement is required.
Ask the pro
Vatsayana of the Kamasutra fame has suggested many ways to stimulate desire and performance for sexual happiness. He was innovative enough to come up with seven different ways of kissing, eight varieties of touch, four methods of stroking the body and eight sounds that may be emitted during sex and foreplay.
How can drugs, meant to delay ejaculation or correct erectile dysfunction, replace the bond that lovers feel when they touch, kiss, cuddle and care for each other?
Blame your priorities
A survey among youngsters revealed an interesting facet. In terms of priorities, a good career was ranked the highest (by almost 60 per cent), followed by social service (18 per cent) and then a happy marriage (13 per cent). If your priorities are lopsided how do you expect to be sexually satisfied? Sex and love aren't water-tight compartments in a marriage. One aspect invariably affects the other. If you don’t make time for your lover, how do you expect to sexually and emotionally connect?
The risk
While overuse of any drug always comes with risks or side-effects, an over usage of Sildenafil can lead to a series of serious sideeffects such as addiction to the drug, headache and dizziness.
Image makeover
People still rely on the clichéd ‘macho’ image, with many men behaving as if their brains are located below their belts. Many mistakenly believe that if they take a tablet, they will perform better. Just one failure at sexual intercourse (which is a perfectly normal occurrence) may land them in wrongly using an erectile dysfunction drug. If they improve their lifestyle, get rid of misconceptions, modify priorities and work on their attitude, chances are that they would never require such drugs.
The real reason
To be sexually happy, one needn't join the ‘Erectile Dysfunction’ club. One of the following could be your reasons for the occasional non-performance:
• Overeating and being obese
• Alcohol, smoke or drug abuse
• Guilt of an extramarital relationship
• Pressure to perform with an extramarital partner
• Overwork
• Anxiety and tension
• Lack of exercise
• Problems in your sex life can also be side-effects to certain illnesses and disorders. In such cases, relying on erectile drugs can only make matters worse. In many cases, diabetes or cardiac problems are discovered when the person complains of ‘sexual problems’.
• At times, drugs that are meant to correct disorders, disrupt normal sexual functioning leading to dysfunction issues. For instance, diuretics, anti-hypertensives and anti-convulsants, etc are known to have adverse effects on one's sex life. As awareness grows, physicians are now being careful during the prescription stage itself. Various studies are being carried out to study the relationship between these drugs and one’s sex life.
When it’s actually needed
Erectile dysfunction drugs may be required temporarily to regenerate interest. The inability to get a good erection in a young man causes unnecessary anxiety and tension and can even lead to suicide in extreme cases. The only instance where erectile drugs are useful (among normal adults) is to restore their confidence and show them they ‘can’ get an erection. No amount of drugs can help the couple to achieve sexual happiness. The key lies in solving interpersonal differences, believing in equal partnership and caring for each other’s wishes.

Into sex out of peer pressure

2010-06-14T09:00:00.001-07:00

Love or no love, 'everyone is doing it' is the pitch for having sex. Virginity is primitive. One-night stands and no emotional baggage is cool. Marriages are perpetual decisions and live-in relationships are mainstream.
And teenagers are not far behind.
The trend to be in a relationship is now becoming an image liability among young peer groups and they feel irresistible pressure to confirm to what their friends are doing. Dr Anjali Chhabaria, clinical psychiatrist, based in Mumbai, mentions a case about a 13 year old girl who was in and out of relationships, yes even at that age!
"The child herself wasn't happy being in these relationships. But felt compelled to do so because she wanted to be accepted as the hottest girl in her friend circle. And the numerous relationships that she got into was just to prove that point."
In another case, Dr Pulkit Sharma, clinical psychologist, VIMAHNS tells us about a 14 year old boy who felt inferior because his classmates would constantly jab him for not having a girlfriend. "When friends discuss sex as 'great fun' peers begin to feel the pressure within and relate it directly with self image and self esteem," says he.
Often sexual desire becomes the premise for a relationship. As Apurva Pandit, a post graduate psychology student recalls her early college days, "My friend would always complain of her boyfriend being too touchy. But since the relationship was new and it got her much-needed emotional support, she went along with it."
Agrees Dr Pulkit Sharma, "Relationships where sexual needs are a priority are rampant today. There may not be a loud and clear demand for it, but mostly boys may subtly pressurise their partner for physical involvement."
Amit (name changed), a software professional recalls his college days. Being the studious types, he was not keen on talking about sex or anything related. But one of his friends would explicitly indulge in sex talk. Since the incongruity was immense, this friend later shifted to another group and Amit got to know later, he went on to have numerous flings.
Peer pressure and westernised media may have de-senitised people towards sexual relationships. But are mental and emotional capabilities to be forsaken?
Warns Dr Dheerendra Kumar, a clinical psychologist, "Portrayal of western culture and media exposure has floated casual sex as a trend. Now there are condoms for twelve year old boys! But the situation can be a reverse if a girl gets pregnant. The same friend circle might refuse to accept her. And all of this can be extremely demanding on a person's mental health."
Sense of morality and preparedness varies with different people, but impressions at a young age can impact an individual's whole life. Talking about a case, Dr Anjali says a 35 year old patient's reason for panic attacks was found to be linked to his teen years. "He was raised in a very promiscuous manner and to prove his masculinity, he slept with a girl at the age of sixteen. But since he couldn’t deliver, he took himself to be impotent and the fear of impotency depressed him all those years."
Often in such cases people may end up feeling depressed or guilty. There could be irreversible personality changes as emotional upheavals of these kinds have tremendous impact on a person.
Dr Dheerendra blames the narrow mindset that forbids parents from talking about sex with their children. With curiosity in the fast lane, such issues need to be addressed. "What parents need to understand is that sex education is important. And attitudes have to change," says Dr Anjali Chhbaria.
Considering casual sex is at the verge of being internalised as a part of lifestyle in teen years, its urgent that parents catch up with their children just in time and not let teen years be a distressing period that can agonize a lifetime.

Supermodel Miranda Kerr's 10 romance tips for men

2010-05-27T02:41:00.000-07:00

Orlando Bloom's girlfriend has some friendly dating advice to share with the opposite sex!

Australian model Miranda Kerr has offered men ten tips on how they can have romantic harmony with their partners and continue doing so.

Kerr, 27, told men's lifestyle website AskMen.com that usually it is the little things that count, and that no matter what, they should at all times be themselves and pay attention to their partner's needs.

She also said that staying healthy, showing affection and a willingness to pamper are also attractive qualities in the eyes of the fairer sex.

"In my experience, it is the random small gestures that I find the most romantic," the Sydney [ Images ] Morning Herald quoted her as telling the website.

"It could be something as simple as making me a cup of tea, or being given a foot massage while we are watching a movie at home after a long day at work."

"If more men made an effort to do these little things for their partner throughout their everyday life, they would be guaranteed to have a more romantic relationship," she added.

Kerr's 10 romance tips:

1. Treat her like a goddess

2. Pamper her

3. Be healthy

4. Get a baby sitter

5. Tell her she is beautiful and romance her

6. Don't be afraid to show her love

7. Know what you want

8. Connect with her

9. Listen to her

10. Buy the right size

Work woes: sex difficulties in busy people

2010-05-02T02:44:00.001-07:00

Growing numbers of people are finding their sex life suffers because they work too hard. Find out what you can do to redress the balance.

Working too hard can take its toll on your relationship.

Britain's long hours work culture means we are seeing an increasing number of people whose sex lives are going badly because of their jobs.

They say they are not making love as often as they used to and don't seem to have the energy for it either.

One high-powered exec told us: 'When I first moved in with my husband, we had sex almost every night. Now we only do it once a month. I think it's because both of us are exhausted.'

The effect of long hours on sex drive

Ebb and flow of desire

Less sex doesn't automatically point to a problem in the relationship.

Human desire tends to ebb and flow quite a bit.

Sometimes we feel really sexy and sometimes we don't.

Also, there is a natural tendency in relationships for sex to get less frequent as time goes by.

This is due to two things:

as the couple grow used to each other, the novelty of the relationship wears off
the desire for sex tends to decline with age, particularly for men.

A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine confirms that couples tend to have less sex as they get older, especially after the age of 50.

If you are tired, you are unlikely to have much strength left for sex - whether you are a man or a woman.
When a job is very stressful, the effect of that stress will be to diminish the amount of energy you have for sex.
You may be so stressed out, you don't even think of sex for quite long periods.

The above has always been true, but in recent years we would say long hours have become commonplace and this is having a damaging effect on a lot of people's sex lives.

We first noticed this among patients who work in the financial sector. Some of our clients start work at six in the morning, and carry on for more than 12 hours.

Often, they do not stop for lunch and many of them have a long commute at either end of the day.

So when we see a man or a woman who leaves home at 4.30am and gets back at 8.30pm, it's not surprising that they're likely to have trouble with their sex life.

Sexual difficulties caused by excessive work

No matter what your job, excessive work can cause the following sexual difficulties.

You will have less time for sex.
You will be tired so it may be difficult to summon up much interest.
You may find it more difficult to climax.
You will find it difficult to relax in bed.
If you're female, you may find it hard to produce adequate lubrication pre-intercourse.
If you're male, you may not be able to get erections easily.
Feelings of stress may make you less likely to give your partner sufficient romance and love play.
You will probably opt for doing the same things during sex.
Your partner may show disappointment or even anger towards you because of these work-induced symptoms.

Letting things continue as they are could lead to the breakdown of your relationship.

If work is affecting your love life, you need to do something about it fast. Doing nothing and just hoping things will sort themselves out is folly.

What changes can I make?

Short of giving up your job, there are no instant or magical solutions. But everyone can make small changes in their lives – no matter how busy they are.

These changes need to be ones that will bring some sort of balance into your lifestyle that does not exist currently. Such changes should help your health as well as your love life.

1. Be honest with your partner

The first thing you can do is to be honest with your partner.

We have had clients who have no desire for sex on weekdays. What they want during the week is a loving companion who will snuggle up to them and listen to what has happened in their day, but not demand sex.

If the busy person has never discussed this with their partner, it can cause a lot of upset and rowing because, understandably, the other person tends to feel rejected.

It may not be ideal to only have sex at the weekends or during holidays, but at least if both parties know this, there will be fewer unrealised expectations and fewer quarrels. In other words, the relationship should become more relaxed.

2. Give your partner some attention

It has to be said that honesty is not going to be enough to fix a rocky relationship, unless you pay your partner some real attention. He or she needs to feel affirmed and important – despite the paucity of sex.

3. Think about how you talk to your partner

It's easy to take workplace language into the home, but it can be abrupt and terse. Try not to bark out instructions to your beloved.

Use the journey home from the office to unwind and to get into a softer frame of mind. Instead of working on your laptop all the way, read a book or do a Sudoku puzzle.

You need to change gear from working mode to something a little more empathetic and human if you are to have a healthy romantic life at home.

4. Don't let work encroach on weekends and holidays

If you want to maintain your relationship, your partner will want to feel that you put him or her first at weekends and holidays. This means a complete change of pace.

Try not to bring work home or to keep checking your emails – and switch off your mobile phone.

5. Make sex special

When you do make love, try to wind down first so that you are in a more relaxed frame of mind. Partners do not want to feel that they're being used as a substitute for quick masturbation and all you care about is a swift climax.

Partners want to feel cared for and loved, so cuddle up together first or have a romantic meal. And then spend half an hour giving your loved one a massage, or have a bath or shower together.

6. Add variety in the bedroom

Try to vary your lovemaking. In our experience, very busy people tend to get into a set sexual pattern. They find a routine that works and is fast - and then use it every time.

This is boring and unimaginative. If you keep doing it, it's likely you'll both go off sex and this can spell doom for your relationship.

Lifestyle changes to reduce stress

You also need to make some lifestyle changes that will benefit your mental and physical health – and impact positively on your love life.

Eat breakfast

It is crazy to skip breakfast when it only takes three minutes in the microwave to make some porridge. This is a good way to start the day.

Oats give you a slow-release of energy and line your stomach before a tension-packed day. Or eat some muesli or another healthy cereal. If you can't face that, at least eat a couple of bananas.

Take a lunch break

You may say no-one in your office takes lunch, but why not be the exception? If you can get out of the workplace for half an hour and get some fresh air, you will feel more relaxed.

On days when you have to eat in the office, try ordering in salads, fruit and nuts. This is good fuel for your hard working body.

Drink more water

Make full use of the water cooler. People often get more tense and irritable when they are dehydrated. You will feel better if you drink water all day and cut down your coffee intake to a maximum of two or three cups a day.

Exercise more

Somehow you need to get some exercise. If you look carefully at your timetable, you should be able to find the odd half hour where you can fit in a workout or go for a swim.

If none of this is possible, get off the bus or train two stops early or park your car a few streets away and walk to work. At the office, take stairs instead of lifts between floors.

What if I don't have time to make these changes?

When you are busy and your career is going places, you probably feel you must put work first.

But unless you strive to bring some balance into your life - and you find the time to be loving and close to anyone who matters - you may find that your life begins to feel rather empty and meaningless, despite your healthy bank balance.

Tantra mantra

2010-04-27T10:27:00.001-07:00

Too many Sex Babas are driving this reporter crazy; add to it a foreigner friend who is all crazy about sex. the lesson: Spirituality in sex ain't that easy
Lately, a 'spiritual quest' first-timer friend, who recently landed in India, has been complaining. "Now a days, whenever I think of sex, the images of the fornicating godmen crop up in my mind," she grumbles. "Is it something to do with Tantric Sex? " she questions.

Holy high: In the blockbuster Avatar, Neytiri and Jake share spiritual
intimacy through intertwined 'soul' tendrils
Not only these just-exposed ichchadhari babas are messing up with my friend's sex life and my normal life, but are also giving birth to a delusion about one of India's greatest gifts to the West.
So dear friend, who landed from foreign shores with dog-eared books on Kamasutra, these men can give you a discourse on running a prostitution empire or grabbing acres of land successfully, but they have nothing to do with that thing called Tantric sex.
To help you, I found out a number of theories depicting various viewpoints over the definition of Tantra. One of the popular ones states Tantra as a religious philosophy, in which 'Shakti' is the main deity of worship. It focuses on spiritual practices and ritualistic form of worship.
Tantric sex evolved from early Hindu Tantra, as a sensible means of catalysing biochemical alteration in the human body to aid an enhanced sense of awareness. "And then, in the Sixties, it went West and came to be identified as a popular technique to heighten sexual well being," explained Dr. Vinod Chebbi, Director, The Medisex Foundation. So, today, Hollywood actress Scarlett Johansson has lengthy sex sessions with her actor boyfriend Josh Hartnett, while rapper P Diddy floors model Kim porter with Tantric sex sessions which last 30 hours!
Practitioners focus on various techniques like mind focus, breathing, muscle contraction, spiritual sound energy projection and nutrition among others. "A lot of people from abroad, who are stressed and have a deteriorating marital life, come to us seeking guidance. Practiced in a correct way, it can solve a lot of marital problems and help one achieve a robust sex life," added Dr Chebbi.
But I discovered unfortunately, it seems to have vanished from the very country where it originated. "There are a very few genuine practitioners who can guide in the correct way. We tried to look for workshops this season, and it landed us in Haridwar.
And it didn't turn out the way we expected," disclosed Mitzi Gerber, who came to India with her husband from Germany and kept looking for someone to guide them on Tantric sex. Another Finnish couple did try contacting a spiritual healer whose 'expertise' was Tantric sex, but they realised she was someone who simply wanted to make a quick buck. "Today, we stick to books, and I feel they are a safe, sure medium," they said.
Then, there are organisations like Tantrananda School of Tantra, that organise Tantra workshops, but they, too, have a word of caution for those looking to learn the art. "Go only to the genuine ones," cautions Guru Bhakti Shakti, who is behind the school.
So, start with the books, instead of watching Sex Babas on TV and getting mystically muddled up. Nothing works as well.
Grab these books before you grab 'em
1. Desire: The Tantric Path to awakening, by Daniel Odier
2. The essence of Tantric sexuality, by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
3. Kiss of the Yogini : Tantric Sex in its South Asian Contexts, by David Gordon Brown
4. Red Hot Tantra: Erotic Secrets of Red Tantra for Intimate, Soul-to-Soul Sex and Ecstatic, Enlightened Orgasms, by David Ramsdale and Cynthia W. Gentry
5. Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life, by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
6. Tantra - Discovering the Power of Pre-Orgasmic Sex, byYogani

6 Ways to Feel Sexier

2010-04-27T10:25:00.001-07:00

In order to feel more self-assured, attractive, and sexy in your own (bare) skin, you’re going to need to spend time doing things unclothed—besides just showering and having sex. I’m not suggesting anything extreme, just an assortment of activities to do, designed to gently nudge you out of your covered-up comfort zone.

Take a Bath
Share Dinner in the Nude
Snooze in the Nude
Get a Massage
Get Fitted for Sexy Lingerie
Take that Nude Photo

First Date Tips

2010-04-25T04:03:00.000-07:00

The first date is a significant moment in any mating ritual—but it’s usually accompanied by sweaty palms, nervous excitement and an uncontrollable tendency to ramble. We’ve all been there. It’s no wonder we watched in awe as Andy Anderson demonstrated the top dating no-no’s in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. (Maybe we identified with them more than we care to admit!) If you want to make sure your first date leads to a second, toss that love fern aside, quit daydreaming about the wedding and check out these four essential tips:

1. Location is Everything

Sitting down to a quiet candlelit dinner can be completely daunting. Keep things social by opting for seats at the bar and ordering tapas to share—that way, you’ll also avoid the formality of sitting through a four-course meal. Don’t be afraid to get out of the restaurant scene altogether. Sign up for a wine tasting, check out an art exhibit or tee up for a round of mini-putt—they’re all great ways to take the pressure off the conversation.

2. Glam Gal

A sense of style can reveal a lot about a person, so announce yourself. Are you Bohemian? Edgy? Classic? Make sure you wear something he’ll remember. And show some skin! The temperatures may be dropping outside, but that’s no excuse to hide behind a turtleneck. Feeling attractive and sexy will build your confidence, and confidence is the most important accessory a girl can have.

3. Stay Positive

Just like laughing is contagious, smiles are too—and both can go a long way. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you. Keep the mood light (and your date at ease) by showing off those pearly whites. Chances are he is as nervous as you, so don’t hesitate to throw him a compliment—if you think he looks handsome, tell him!

4. Lighten Up

There’s no need to divulge work woes, family secrets or your dating past, so keep the conversation light by focusing on your date. Ask him about his job, hobbies or favourite travel destination. By taking an interest in him, you’re more likely to make a good impression. But be aware. If you’ve been blessed with the gift of gab, give yourself a breather every once in a while. Pauses in conversation are natural and can be a perfect opportunity to play up the body language: extended stares, flirty smiles or even a little game of footsy.

6 simple ways to stay smitten with each other

2010-04-25T04:02:00.000-07:00

When you first fall in love, you can't imagine it will ever end. But as your relationship grows, the excitement and passion naturally ebb and flow - ebbing more often the longer you are together.

The secrets to lasting love are actually quite simple.

Read on to join the ranks of longtime lovers.

1. Touch

This sounds obvious but if you've been with your guy a while, you may notice that you don't touch him as often. In the early days, there's a lot of contact: you intentionally brush his arm in the movie theatre, you grab his knee under the table at dinner, you give him neck rubs, stroke his hair - you can't get enough of each other.

After a while, though, you may forget how important these sweet interactions are. Take the time now to cuddle, hug and hold hands. This is about communicating without words, and it will make your bond stronger.

2. Laugh

A good guffaw will get you through the good times and the bad. Watch funny movies and TV shows together, share inside jokes, find something funny about something every day. Studies have shown that laughter improves your health and the quality of your life. So get together with your guy and get the giggles.

3. Fight (fairly)

You won't always agree and sometimes the words you exchange won't always be entirely friendly - take heart: fighting is actually necessary in every good relationship.

The reverse - bottling up anger and frustration - will only turn you into a tense, festering partner, ready to blow at any moment. Definitely not a good conflict management strategy. So do yourself (and him) a favour, and don't be afraid of the occasional fight. But always fight fairly. Don't air every grudge you've ever held, and don't enumerate every single thing he's ever done wrong. Stick to the topic at hand, and don't sink to insults and hurtful remarks.

If you get nasty with your guy, he'll remember those words long after the fight is forgotten.

4. Date

Treat every date like it's the first one: buy a new outfit, take time with your makeup and hair, reserve a table at a fancy restaurant.

Treat each other the way you would on a first or second date, and you'll be surprised by how special and alive it makes both of you feel.

5. Snog

You may think you've already got this covered, but there are always new ways to spice up your sex life. If you do it routinely three times a week, get a little crazy and go for a fourth. Wake him up in the middle of the night for an erotic massage. Read something sexy together. Surprise him with some new lingerie (or accessories for the nightstand drawer).

Nurturing your time between the sheets is a way to stay playful and keep an intimate bond.

6. Compliment

Does your guy have a great butt, wonderful eyes, or does he fill out a t-shirt like no one else can? Maybe he's diligent about paying the bills on time, fixing plumbing problems or getting rid of telemarketers? Whatever it is he excels at, tell him.

It's so easy, in long term relationships, to focus on what he doesn't do, on what you wish he did better. Take a moment to point out the positive. Guys love compliments as much as we do. Plus, it's an active reminder of why you fell in love with him in the first place - and that will make you feel entirely grateful.

What's your secret for everlasting love? Let us know what keeps your fires burning!

8 Sex Moves Every Woman Should Try Once

2010-04-25T03:59:00.000-07:00

PG: Slip into something unexpectedly sexy.

Sure, sexy lingerie is, well, sexy. But another surprisingly sexy sight to guys is you—freshly showered, no makeup, says relationship expert Lainie Speiser, author of Hot Games. Who can resist a woman who’s just soaped, shaved and shampooed herself to perfection? If you live with your guy, take your time and make a ritual out of your shower. Leave the bathroom door cracked so he can catch a glimpse of you slathering lotion on your body. If you’re dating, greet him at the door just out of the shower, with your hair loosely tied back, and wear something feminine like a clingy spaghetti-strap slip.

PG: Give him goose bumps.

Vixenish back scratching is best left to romance novels and porn; a better way to stimulate your guy is with a light touch. The next time you’ve having sex, wrap your arms around him and gently drag your nails across his back, butt or thighs from top to bottom, applying as little pressure as possible. The slight touch will send shivers down his spine…and enhance the feeling of everything else.

PG-13: Sneak in double entendres.

Want to get your guy’s attention? Try using suggestive words—the kind with dual meanings—mixed into normal conversation, says relationship expert Steve Santagati, ofbadboysfinishfirst.com. Whether it’s your first or your 90th date, it’s a great way to get your guy thinking about sex. Ask him for a back rub because your neck isstiff. Or have him help you fill in a crossword puzzle that’s too hard. We know—it sounds like a ridiculous plan, but if you can get over the giggle factor, it could really pay off. “You may not understand why men like this kind of talk, but trust me, it will wake us up and get the juices flowing for foreplay,” Santagati says.

PG-13: Add an element of mystery to your date.

Next time you’re out to dinner or at a bar with your man, pretend to be someone else. Act like a would-be secretary at a job interview and say, “Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me. I feel I would get a lot of benefits from working under you,” suggests Speiser. He may laugh first, but he’ll eventually play along…and get turned on. Another option: When you return from the bathroom, purposely bump into him and pretend you’ve never met. Flirt with him as if it’s the first time you’ve laid eyes on each other. “It will arouse the both of you and breathe a new kind of excitement into a regular Saturday night,” she adds.

R: Create unconventional handcuffs.

Straddle your guy during your next bedroom session and begin to pull off his shirt. As it reaches his wrists, stop pulling. Grab the shirt with one hand (grasp the part in the middle between his arms) and use it to pin his wrists back to the bed like makeshift handcuffs. The more confident you are about doing it, the better. You’ll be in control, and he won’t have a clue what hit him. But he’ll like it.

R: Talk but don’t touch.

Try this for foreplay: Stare directly at your man when he’s lounging on the couch. “Ask him to tell you, in vivid detail, what he’d like to do to you, or vice versa,” says Santagati. Feel free to take your time, listen to music, drink a glass of wine—but don’t touch each other. See how long it takes before one of you can’t resist the temptation any longer.

R: Try a champagne kiss.

Remember that bottle of champagne you’ve had chilling in the fridge since New Year’s Eve? Now’s the time to use it—pour two glasses and sip casually. Then turn up the heat by straddling him, taking a gulp of bubbly and leaning over and kissing your man. As you do, “let a tiny amount of champagne trickle into his mouth,” says Tracey Cox, author ofSupersex. The fizzy texture and cool temperature will take your kiss to a new level of sexy.

R: Practice delayed gratification.

Next time you feel like snapping a naughty photo of yourself, don’t e-mail or text it to your man right way. Wait until you’re in the same room, restaurant or building and then go ahead and hit Send—it’s so unexpected that way! “It’s more effective than you would think because he’ll know he can’t do anything about it,” says Santagati. “The act of sex is best when anticipated and held off for a bit.”

10 Things He's Thinking When You're Naked

2010-04-25T03:58:00.000-07:00

That webcam didn’t begin to do her justice.

Photo: iStock

Only one beer? Check. Ate the Altoids? Check. Pre-date safety orgasm? Check.

Photo: Jupiter Images

Please don’t put on the baggy T-shirt!

Photo: Jupiter Images

Duuuuuude!

Photo: Jupiter Images

Interesting. Another nipple shape for my mental collection.

Photo: Jupiter Images

Who is Mike? And what is his name doing there?

Photo: Jupiter Images

Hmm…have I ever washed these sheets?

Photo: iStock

I kinda don’t care if they’re fake.

Photo: Jupiter Images

Focus on her eyes, focus on her eyes, focus on her…oh, forget it.

Photo: Jupiter Images

Suck in my gut, suck in my gut, suck in my…oh, forget it.

How to Wow Him in One Date

2010-04-25T03:55:00.001-07:00

Two weeks after my latest breakup (I ended things with the 22-year-old I talked about in a recent column), I kept thinking how I never stick with things for long. I had the creeping suspicion that my heart was a steely machine that pumped antifreeze into my unfeeling extremities. Then I went out with Strawberry (you'll see why I call her that), and everything changed.

Strawberry used to date an acquaintance of mine, and we stayed in e-mail touch since they broke up — no innuendo, just wisecracks and innocent banter about food and books. When we made plans to grab a drink — a reunion, not a date — I was totally unprepared for what happened.

Over the course of three hours, Strawberry went from girl-next-door cute to grown-woman irresistible. And, no, the shift wasn't because of alcohol or how great she looked in skinny jeans or even how her red hair fell over her shoulders in shiny tidal waves. Here's what did it.

She wasn't afraid to be goofy
I don't take myself too seriously and tend to have a hard time with people who do. I remember how one ex, Jenny, was borderline obsessed with what other people thought. Once when I dared to dance a little shimmy on an elevator, she glared at me and hissed, "Never do that again," like I was a misbehaving toddler. But Strawberry encouraged my silliness — even my bad Italian accent — onlookers be damned. Better still, she made funny faces and told even funnier dirty jokes.

She could talk about anything
From whiskey to Lady Gaga, Strawberry could dish about the lowbrow (Jersey Shore) and the high (the vacation she wanted to take to Tuscany). I was left feeling like she was a woman who is neither stuck up nor uncivilized.

She was happy
A week earlier, I had gone out with someone who was as cranky as she was sexy — she complained abouteverything. Who wants to hear about long lines at OfficeMax? Or that every man she knows is a baby? Strawberry was amped about life, and if she had baggage, she sure didn't unpack it at the table. It was clear she loves her job and her friends.

She's into literature, swimming, music — and more things I haven't heard about yet but want to. Here was a woman who exuded satisfaction and clearly didn't need a man to give her a sense of well-being. She had some kind of energy that shut off that Seinfeldian part of me that scrutinizes behaviors to see if they'll drive me crazy. As she talked, I sat there visualizing us coming home after a stressful day at work and laughing it off over wine. I could see us doing that for years — forever. Yeah, I was that hooked.

Drinks turned into dinner, dinner to more drinks, and then we kissed before she descended the subway stairs. She tried to wipe her strawberry lip gloss from my mouth, but I tasted it the whole way home and felt like I'd just watched a good movie. I kept replaying the scenes.

I don't know how ready I am to be with just one person. But I do know this: It was a lot easier to dismiss the idea of commitment before I spent three sweet hours with Strawberry. So I'll be seeing her next week — and hopefully a lot more after that. Hey, maybe there's a warm, beating heart in there after all.

Shed Pounds and Spice Up Your Sex Life

2010-04-23T21:13:00.000-07:00

If you’re looking for one more motivation to lose weight, look no further: Recent research shows slimming down can help spice up your sex life!
The best part? When it comes to improving things in the bedroom, a little loss goes a long way.
A study presented at the 2005 annual scientific meeting of The Obesity Society shows a moderate amount of weight loss can have a positive impact on how we feel about oursexuality.

Small Change, Big Difference
Dr. Martin Binks of Duke University in Durham, NC, lead author of the study, reported that subjects who lost just 10 percent of their total body weight felt the quality of their sex lives had markedly improved.

Pinpointing the Problems
The participants -- who were predominantly female -- had an average BMI of 41 at the beginning of the study; their average age was 45. About 75% of the participants reported that they were experiencing sexual problems as the study commenced.
The problems described in the criteria of the study included, but were not limited to: lack of desire and enjoyment, difficulty in performing, and avoiding opportunities for sexual encounters.

Women's Feelings About Their Sexuality Greatly Improved
Women were more likely to report feeling unattractive or being unwilling to be seen naked by their partners than men. At the end of the study, only about 25 percent of women still reported feeling sexually unattractive; they had lost an average of 12 percent of their starting weight.

Researchers found that all problem areas -- from trouble performing to lack of pleasure --improved significantly as the numbers on the scale decreased. “We saw very dramatic reductions in the number of people reporting difficulty following moderate weight loss,” Binks stated.

Motivation Matters
Binks, a clinical psychologist and director of behavioral health at the Duke Diet and Fitness Center, explained that quality of life improvements can help inspire us to keep losing: “If people experience benefits and rewards from weight loss and healthy efforts, it may helpmotivate them to continue ..." he said.
Participants experienced the most significant improvement in sexual quality of life during the first three months of the study (coinciding with an average 11.8 percent weight loss), the researchers reported. And the positive results remained constant as participants continued to lose weight.

It's a Guy Thing, Too
Though fewer men than women were tracked during the study, Binks says similar improvements were reported by them. For example, at the beginning of the study, about 19 percent of the male participants said they avoided sexual encounters; at the end, only five percent reported doing so.

Here's why men cheat

2010-04-23T10:32:00.001-07:00

The allegations of extramarital affairs are often associated with men who are perceived to be promiscuous. However, a Wake Forest University researcher debunks the stereotype with his new finding.

According to Andrew Irwin-Smiler, majority of boys and men prioritize and value emotional connection to their partner. "As a culture, we have a perception that men just want sex and that all men are promiscuous,” said Smiler. But the research shows that while men do have more partners than women, most men only have one partner at a time as majority of boys and men seek emotional connection with their partner.

Smiler’s research also shows that the popular media fuels the perception that men are promiscuous with television characters such a Fonzie in Happy Days, Hawkeye Pierce in Mash, Sam Malone in Cheers, Joey Tribbiani in Friendsand Charlie Harper in 2 ½ Men.

The high-profile scandals involving public figures only add to the common misperceptions of men’s sexual behaviour. “The question is whether the media reflects reality or creates reality?” Smiler said.

5 types of women men can't stand

2010-04-21T10:13:00.001-07:00

We all know what women don’t like in men, but do we have even the slightest idea about what type of women put off men? Here is the lowdown on the personality types men don’t like at all.

Cribber: Women who crib, talk negatively and belittle people are a great turn-off. Sure we all have our bags full of complaints, but it is one thing to complain once in a while, and it's something else to crib big time 24x7 about every issue or every person one comes across. Men can't understand why a woman has to crib and bitch all the time. Either you do something about the issue or stop complaining - it's as simple as that.

Weight-watcher: 'Oh can't have beer, it has 150 calories', 'I must hit the gym everyday' - if these are your favourite catchwords, you have trouble coming your way. There is only so much diet, exercise regimens men can take and if you are too conscious, a man is likely to be exasperated. Women need to know when to give in 'without throwing their weight around'!

In-law basher: Agreed only the fortunate are blessed with a good set of in-laws. So if you are not one of the lucky ones, will you constantly bash them up verbally? They are somebody's parents and if you don't have anything nice to say something about them, don't say anything. How does that sound?

Worker bee: If you are buzzing nineteen to a dozen only about the presentations you have to make for the boss, deadlines, colleagues, HR head and the office janitor - it's obvious you have nothing else to talk about. A man may want to know about your interests, your views on him, and more, but you prefer to hide behind 'work' all the time. If you want a man, any man actually - get a life first.

Agony aunt: There are some women who constantly feel they are an 'advisory body'. They feel it is their business to hear out the whines of everyone around them and suggest suitable solutions. They are so deeply involved in this part-time job that they inadvertently sound like they are advising you as well. Nobody wants to date a mom, you know.

A cuddle is 'better than sex'

2010-04-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

More than 50 percent of people in a survey have said they prefer a kiss and cuddle to sex in a relationship.

The survey claims sex comes after commitment, companionship and humour in a successful relationship. Surprisingly, it is men who are more than happy to smooch on a sofa rather than romp in the bedroom, reports express.co.uk.

Researchers for healthcare giant Bayer even blame social networking internet sites such as Facebook and Twitter for making people less intimate with each other as they conduct long-distance relationships.

Meanwhile, Christine Webber, a sex and relationships expert has warned that the lack of intimacy can endanger any relationship.

If it's your first time in bed...

2010-04-17T05:50:00.001-07:00

Want your first time to be rom-com perfect? We’ve had experts draw up a checklist for you just so that it’s the best performance of your life

You’re getting married and among your list of reception, baraat and phera preparations, there’s gearing up for your honeymoon. Or perhaps you and your partner are ready to take your relationship to the next level. Don’t let anxiety dampen the day. Just follow these tips and precautions for an unforgettable time.

Get on the same page
Couples counselling will demystify sex. “There’s a vast difference between male and female sexuality,” says Minnu Bhonsle, consulting psycho-therapist and relationships counsellor, “and hence each one’s expectations are different. Male sexuality is more body oriented, while female sexuality is emotion oriented.” Such a session helps set realistic expectations and establish attitudes towards sexual intercourse. You could do this on your own by just talking about it or creating a multiple choice quiz for your partner about the things you like. It’s only fair that you take the quiz too.

Look to please
It’s a given that you look your best, but you don’t need to be aggressively sexual. A clean set of boxers or a matching cotton set works as good as a lacy garter. If you’re a couple with a sense of fun, carry it to the bedroom. Be a sexy secretary or wear men’s briefs. But leave the kinky stuff for later, you don’t want to scare your partner off. And don’t forget to wax, shave, shampoo and perfume yourself. In fact, take a day off for vanity’s sake. Let the make-up you wear be the water-proof, smudge-proof type that doesn’t make you look like the Joker the morning after.

Don’t buy the hype
Hindi movies have made much money from riding on the suhaag raat cliché. Likewise, an extensive education by pornography will leave a real encounter disappointing. Give yourself a little more time for exploration. Get a place that ensures privacy and relaxation. You aren’t going to score a sixer in a house filled with extended family; and if you plan to do it in a rent-by-the-hour shack, you’ll be more traumatised than aroused. Self-consciousness and pressure can make the process painful for women or cause arousal problems in men. Book yourself a beach-side vacation or plan this over a weekend getaway. If you rent your own apartment, pack your roomie off for the weekend and give the bai the day off.

Talk protection
Fear of pregnancy or STDs will play damper with the mood, so make sure you have a pack of condoms close at hand. Contraceptive pills may not agree with some women, are less effective and do not protect against STDs. If you’ve never used a condom before, practise putting it on so that you don’t fumble or mis-time the while thing on the D-day.

Take minimum assistance
Don’t let your enthusiasm carry you away into lubricants and wine. “It may be a common romantic notion to relax over a glass of wine,” says Bhonsle, “but studies show that wine makes it hard for a man to have an erection or retain it.” Similarly, don’t rely on artificial lubricants unless as a medical necessity. “If a woman is properly aroused, she will be wet enough to make penetration relatively painless,” says Bhonsle, so prolong the foreplay or use your fingers to dilate her until she’s ready.

Learn the moves
Do your biology homework to know what’s where. Start by giving each other a massage and move on from there. Notice what makes him/her groan harder, but don’t keep repeating the moves; switch between them to keep things interesting. Assume some responsibility for your climax. Guide your partner if you know what you like. If one of you has a greater sexual appetite, make it your responsibility to keep your partner interested.

Tune into the fun
Besides taking your relationship to the next level, sex is primarily supposed to be a lot of fun. Laugh off embarrassments, don’t dwell on them. Read erotic literature aloud to each other, play strip poker, take baths together... It’s not just about the wham, bam.

Seduce through your eyes

2010-04-13T01:11:00.000-07:00

Seduction is not just a mind game, your eyes play as important a role. We help you perfect your moves...

All that talk about first impression and lasting ones... well, that’s not all jazz you know. Whoever said it sure knew what they meant. And guess what, if you want to seduce someone, you’ve got to do more than just dress and speak the role, you have a secret yet powerful tool at easy disposal, your eyes. Making the right eye contact and giving the right signals via your eyes to the person you are interested in means about 50 per cent of your work done. The truth is that most of the communication that occurs between two people who are interested in each other is wordless, it’s all about the looks.

Even the experts will vouch for this. In fact, communication and body language counsellors opine that the basic components of eye behaviour are easy to master once a person knows how they work. So, if you want to ensure that you always use your eyes fluently and with dazzling effect, here are four simple steps you need to follow.

Establish : The first thing you need to do when you meet is to look into the eyes of the other person. A confident look will create a positive first impression. Establishing eye contact is a specially handy tool when you’re trying to gain the attention of an unknown hottie or cutie. In this case, don’t keep staring at him/her, it may feel like you’re stalking them. Instead, make short frequent glances. If the opposite person reciprocates your move and holds your gaze, it a silent signal that you have the ‘permission’ to go ahead and initiate a conversation. Start of with introducing yourself.

Maintain : Now that you’ve started a conversation, it’s time for step two. Yes, we agree you can’t keep looking into each others eyes forever, but try to maintain eye contact for as long as it’s possible. Studies say the average gaze time for an average listener is a minuscule three seconds. But you need to go a tad further, try to hold your partner’s gaze for at least five to seven seconds. This will make it look like you’re paying attention and care about what the other person is saying. How does this work? It’s a two-way effect. While is makes the person opposite feel important, it will make you more ‘attractive’ in their eyes. Mission accomplished!

Maximise : You know your mission and you know that it’s your eyes that are going to be in focus. Hence, it’s most important that you pay attention to how your eyes look. Ladies, don’t hesitate to do them up to best effect, there are tons of products available in the market to help you. And it is a know fact that kajal gives the eyes a certain depth while clearly defining one’s eyes.

Widen : There’s something about large eyes that catches the attention of the person opposite. And ladies, though it may be a tad exaggerated in movies, fluttering your eyelashes does have that devastating effect on the opposite sex. There’s also a technique that will help you make your eyes appear larger; raise your brows and slightly lower your eye lids. If reports are to be believed, Marilyn Monroe herself often used this highly successful technique.

There you have it, now that you’ve mastered the formula, it’s time for you to try it out.

10 tricks to bigger orgasms

2010-04-13T01:10:00.000-07:00

While majority of couples wish to have extended massive orgasm (EMO), not everybody comes down to experiencing these repeated orgasmic waves.

Lovers experiencing one of these massive orgasms have reported enjoying more of life’s joys in general, becoming nicer and more generous in their relationship.

And here are the tricks of this tantalizing trade:

1. Truly recognize your pleasure
You want to immediately approve of your present sensations. This starts before you even get in the sack by overcoming anxieties you have about sex. This may require identifying limitations you’ve been taught about sex, like how you’re supposed to respond (or not respond). You need to then challenge any social conditioning that impedes upon your response.

Ridding yourself of the uninvited "others" in your bed will enable you to solely focus on the orgasmic sensations, including ones that come from simply anticipating action.

2. Learn to relax
Lovers have the tendency to tense up during sexual excitement, which is not conducive to extended orgasm. You need to be able to surrender your nervous system during genital stimulation. It’s this letting go of tension that allows you to embrace your pleasure.

3. Get in the know
The more we know about our bodies, sex, and sexual response, the better we can recognize sensations, the more we can lose ourselves in them. Become knowledgeable about sexual response, sexual anatomy, and erotic techniques.

4. Give yourselves time for pleasuring
Lovers may stimulate each other by fantasizing out loud, taking your time getting to the genitals and hot spots. Teasing allows for greater energy awareness and arousal, and these are what make the experience ultimately so mind-blowing.

5. Touch for pleasure
You can show your partner that you are into the moment by informing them about what you are going to do so he or she can surrender more easily. Highlighting a lover’s physical responses further enables them to tune into the sensations.

6. Learn to channel your energy
You want to get out of your head, directing your energy to your groin. This will make for more explosive results, plus help you to further tune into your sexual response.

7. Become an effective communicator
To amplify things up, you may need to request changes that will intensify your pleasure if you’re the receiver. As the giver, you may need to ask for feedback or direction. In either case, asking for more will help you to feel more. Giving approval can do wonders for a lover’s ego.

8. Develop your pelvic floor muscles
Exercising your pubbococcygeus (PC) muscle will put you more in tune with your sexual response. It’s also what makes for more powerful orgasms.

9. Have plenty of lubricant handy
As you will be loving for the long-haul, make sure you avoid the friction, pain, and discomfort that can result from working each other raw by using lube.

10. Do away with any drive-thru mentality
Having an EMO isn’t like going for fast food. One can’t go into it thinking instant gratification. Instead, approach it as though training for a sport.

Top ten sex romps

2010-03-26T23:57:00.000-07:00

Are you always complaining that your sex life is running out of steam? Well, what’s stopping you from getting adventurous and innovative? Charge up your sex life using this list of the 10 craziest places to fool around...or you could get inspired and think of a few of your own!

1. On the couch: After the bed, the couch in the living room is screaming for attention. And the best part...it’s comfy too. The cushions work as a support system to get those curves and arches to enjoy the perfect moves, while the lack of space will keep up the intimacy levels. Want some more action? Put on a wild flick on video and you have a perfect mood maker!
Word of caution: Watch out your moves, going out of control is injurious...for the couch of course!

2. In the bathtub: Things can get real hot even in a cool bath tub. For the ultimate romantic experience, arrange for a bubble bath with aromatic rose petals and passion perfume. Add some mood lighting, splash a few drops of ‘ylang ylang’ essential oil and be certain that the sensuous experiment will lead to some supah hot sex.
Word of caution: Check out the water temperature, you don’t want to end up with painful blisters or a frozen lover...isn’t?

3. In the kitchen: Be it 91/2 Weeks or Fatal Attraction , the kitchen has borne witness to quite a number of sexapades. The sturdy surfaces and shelves offer great support, especially for stand-up acts, while the feeling of being at an unconventional place pumps up the excitement to newer heights. And how can you miss the yummy treats your kitchen is loaded with? Eat them, but off each other’s hot bods. Think chocolate, cream, jams and jellies!
Word of caution: Know the stuff you are eating and applying...some edibles are good only to eat. So watch out for allergies!

4. In the pool: Though not many are privileged to have one in the confines of their home, if you are one of the lucky few, make the most of it. Challenge your swimming skills and get under for into some underwater escapades. Who said that the inflatable water turtle is meant only for tanning, use it for some steamy adventure...ride it together and get a new high!
Word of caution: You need not be swimming champs, but fairly decent floating skills are definitely expected to get into the water-y fun.

5. In the car: Yes it’s crammed, but it’s cosy too. A quickie in the backseat can rekindle the excitement that you felt during your heady college days. Put on some romantic retro tracks and switch on the AC. Don’t fret, it won’t cool down the passion. When the place is different, the position can’t be a drab. It’s tough to adjust facing each other, but turning the world around can definitely help...hope you got the clue!
Word of caution: Just be careful where you park...you don’t want to get busted!

6. In the dressing room: How about catching her unawares in the dressing room of a store? Sounds dangerous but thrilling too! The fear of getting caught will only add to the sensual experience, while the lack of time is perfect to give you a never before quickie. Thinking comfort? Sorry! All you have is a stool...let him stand as you take charge!
Word of caution: Making noise is not allowed here and do take care of hidden cameras and key-holes.

7. The stairs: If you are thinking they can be a pain to one’s body, think again, as they can be adventurous too. After all, they can give you those highs and lows, especially when the girl is comparatively short.
Word of caution: Don’t get really aggressive if getting cramps in your lower back is not on your mind.

8. On the roof : Yes, this can be a great playground; the gentle moonlight, a cool breeze to caress your passionate entwinings. Pep it up with some paper lamps or scented candles and light music, which will just add to the mood. You have all the space to set the ball rolling...so go ahead and explore her contours under a starry sky.
Word of caution: No physical risks are involved...but just take care of peeping Toms around.

9. In a sleeping bag: Nothing could bring you as close as that sleeping bag that’s meant for a single person and is loaded with two! Why not get into some naughty action and add to a fun-filled camping trip? Instead of the normal position, turn around and have some fun from behind. Talk about kinky fantasies!
Word of caution: Zip the bag properly, you don’t want end up killing insects in the mid of the act.

10. On a plane: You can try the toilet and if that’s too cramped, the seat in a Business or First class cabin. Some airliners with long-haul flights now boast of recliner seats that go as flat as a bed. Take a flight of fantasy.
Word of caution: Don’t try it if you already have flight phobia and take care of people lining-up outside the loo.

5 Best positions to get pregnant fast

2010-03-26T23:56:00.000-07:00

Getting pregnant maybe the easiest of all things, however, some couples do find it hard to conceive for several reasons, including weak or insufficient sperm count.

In some cases, as when nature needs a boost, a little push from you and your partner can go a long way in getting pregnant. When it comes to the best position to get pregnant, the general rule is that the male sperm must be deposited as near to the female cervix as possible.

This has something to do with the life spans of the female egg and the male sperm. Once an egg is released from the ovary – a stage also known as ovulation – it begins its path down the fallopian tube to the uterus. A released egg typically survives for only 24 hours, while a sperm can last anywhere from three to five days in the female body. As such, the egg has to be as close to the egg as possible so they can meet and join before the egg dies.

While not a lot of people will agree that the sexual positions have anything to do with getting pregnant, the logical inference is that it makes sense to assume the position that can help the sperm meet the egg in the shortest possible time.

This is especially true when for couples who have problems or difficulty conceiving. Having said this, the first "best position to get pregnant" tip is to avoid positions that least expose the cervix to the male sperm, and that generally defy gravity such as sex while standing up, sitting down, or with the woman on top. When trying to conceive, it is best to limit the amount of sperm that flows back out of the vagina.

The woman's hips should also be positioned in such a way that the sperm released is kept inside, giving it enough time to swim up to the female cervix.

Consider the following positions instead:

1. The missionary position. Or man-on-top is said to be the position that's best for getting pregnant. This is because this particular position allows for the deepest possible penetration, making it possible for the sperm to get deposited closest to the cervix.

2. Raise the hips. Elevating the hips, which can be done by placing a pillow behind her, can also be helpful because this exposes the female cervix to as much semen as the male can release.

3. Doggy-style. The rear-entry position where the man enters the woman from behind is also a recommended position. In this position, sperm is also deposited closest to the cervix, thereby helping increase the chances of conception.

4. Side-by-side. You can also try having intercourse while lying side by side. This position likewise causes the most exposure of the cervix to the male sperm.

5. Orgasms. Finally, while this has nothing to do with sexual positions, there are also researches that suggest the importance of the female orgasm in conceiving. According to studies, female orgasm leads to contractions that could push sperm up into the cervix. The lesson: have fun while trying to conceive.

Hottest Kamasutra sex positions to tempt, thrill!

2010-03-26T23:53:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the sexual success of these ancient love teachings, here is the scorching list of the hottest sex positions to tempt, tease, then thoroughly please your lucky guy!

Grab your guy and get ready for a trip toward erotic enlightenment.

Baithe baithe
Your partner slouches down in a comfy but sturdy chair, his legs slightly spread. You straddle his lap as you face him, your knees bent and open against his chest, your feet braced against the seat of the chair. While your guy grips your hips, thighs, or butt, you clutch the back of the chair and begin moving up and down along his shaft.
You will love it: It's a traditional girl-on-top with a tempting twist. With your knees bent and your hands and feet using the chair as a springboard, it's the bounciest nooky style ever – perfect for teasing your guy with fast up-and-down action, then shifting gears and going for wide circular motions. Plus, your bodies are close enough for the intimacy of kissing, touching, or just giving each other incredibly lusty looks.

Kamaal ka yoga
Help your partner get comfortable in the traditional lotus position, with his legs crossed and each of his heels atop the opposite knee. Facing him, sit in his lap and mount him, with your legs wrapped snugly around his waist. Embrace each other and lock lips with a shared breath, so that as you exhale your guy inhales and vice versa. As you breathe in, rock your pelvis back and tighten your vaginal muscles. As you exhale, rock your pelvis forward and release. Your guy should mirror your movements.
You will love it: Yoga fanatics, this one couldn’t be more perfect for you. Syncing up your breathing and moving together while in this position will deepen your intimacy as you both ride the wave to a mind-blowing climax.

Ek chakra
You and your partner lie on your sides facing the same direction. First, you lower your crotch onto his, wrapping your legs around either side of his torso. Your arms should be stretched out behind you supporting your weight. He then encircles your waist with his legs and grips your upper thighs and thrusts gently.
You will love it: Like most side-by-side sex positions, this one promises ecstasy. By concentrating on your outer banks, your guy can tease the turbo-charged nerve endings in the first third of your vagina while also tantalising the packed-with-nerve-endings head of his penis.

Jangha vibhor
If you’re bored with the standard woman-on-top pose, this position is a fun, frisky way to mix things up. Your guy lies on his back, one leg outstretched and the other bent, knee pointing upward. You straddle his body sideways with your back turned slightly to his face, hold on to his knee, and lower yourself onto his penis. In this pose, your stomach is almost touching his bent knee; use it for support and leverage as you rock back and forth, and up and down.
You will love it: This torrid two-in-one move is all about your ecstasy. The steady rocking motion and thrusting create a pleasure buildup that primes you for a mind-boggling orgasm. And you can thrill him by wrapping your hands around his legs and treat him to a titillating thigh massage. Gently knead those over-worked muscles then stroke his skin from knee to groin using firm feel-good pressure.

Kamar ka kamaal
Have your man sit on the bed with his legs extended in front of him. Crawl up to him on your knees and straddle him, lowering yourself onto his erect penis. Once you’re comfortable, arch into a back bend - but be careful not to strain your lower back. Rest your head between his legs on the bed and reach your hands back to grab hold of his ankles or feet. That’s when he leans forward and the fun begins.
You will love it: For those who are limber enough to last for even a few moments, the payoff is incredible. Throw your head back, close your eyes, and totally let go, because this position will connect you two like no other. Use his legs to brace yourself and add more oomph when you thrust. After this, your man will bend over backward for another all-out sexy panorama of your naked body in his hands.

Diwan-e-khaas
Have you partner sit down in a comfy but sturdy chair or couch, his legs slightly spread. You straddle his lap as you face him, your knees bent and open against his chest, your feet braced against the seat of the chair. While your guy grips your hips, thighs, or butt, you clutch the back of the chair and begin moving up and down along his shaft.
You will love it: This passion pose supplies the kind of naughty sex scene that all men yearn for. It gives him a full-frontal va-va-voom view of you in action, one that'll undoubtedly fuel his dirtiest fantasies for a long, long time. Plus, because you're the one who sets the speed and timing, you can treat yourself to the exact motions that make you moan with desire and take you over the edge of ecstasy.