::A brunchbar for my brain::

Small Details Are What Life Is All About?

2012-01-23T08:48:00.000+13:00

First there is a time when we believe everything, then for a little while we believe with discrimination, then we believe nothing whatever, and then we believe everything again - and, moreover, give reasons why we believe.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
(1742 - 1799)

You think you know something. Anything. You read. You listen. You discuss. You summarize what you knew. Or you think you knew.

You pick a stand based on what you knew. Based on the summary of what you knew. You leave out the small details that you deem unimportant. Quite often, the summary is based upon generalization.

Generalization is powerful. Everything has a pattern. Fractals, numbers. In nature. In concrete. Either you find the formulas, or you create one. One size may not fit all. You create clusters of formulas. Among these clusters you choose what you can fit into categories. The process continues. It's a pattern. A repetition. Only at different scales.

Now. How do you choose the unimportant details? Is it simply because it's out of your chosen pattern? Or you discriminate the details and miss the actual pattern at a bigger scale?

Just because we aren't well exposed to the "small" details, it doesn't mean that it's right to be taken for granted. What would an integration be without the constant C? It would be impossible to solve the problems. In short, even the smallest detail matters.

Please don't take anything for granted. What we think is small may already be at large but we're denying the sense that we have to acknowledge that. They may not be the majority but they're there, screaming to be heard and to be put into the rightful equation. Small quantities does not imply its degrees of importance in the same measurement. Proverb said

"Good things come in small packages" .

Yes, that's exactly another generalisation but no, it's not completely absurd.

Yes, discrimination is a big word. So be extra careful with our judgement. Pick ideas wisely. Also, let's have a bit of compassion for the people around us. Life would be much easier with more love and acceptance for diversity in life.

In the end, we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught - Babu Dioum 1968

One month away from Civilisation

2012-01-21T06:15:00.003+13:00

3 days ago marked the day that I've been home for a month.

People talks a lot about Culture Shock. I experience Reverse-Culture Shock. Frankly, it's worst re-adapting than adapting to new environment. For me, that is.

I tried to attend a religious talk this evening. The talk was scheduled at 9pm. My parents and I arrived at the hall before 9pm. From outside the hall I could still hear that Isya' prayer in mosque was not yet over. We sat in the hall, waiting for the speakers to turn up. Being quite an organizer myself, I understand the half-an-hour rule. It's half an hour of arrival for Malaysians. I reckoned the talk will start at 9.30pm. Eventually, the chairman started talking, at 9.50pm. (Yes. We waited for 50 freaking minutes) My mum has to work tomorrow so we left half an hour later. My mum left first, I followed later. She told me there were still people complaining outside that the talk has started when they themselves just got there at 10-ish! (Oh come, on!)

From my house I could hear the somewhat loud and highly energetic talk still going on at 11.56pm. The talk ended at midnight.

While Time is a classic concern of the Malaysians, particularly Malays hence "Janji Melayu", the thing that we take for granted always is the respect for minority. It seems so convenient for this Muslims majority country to put Quran recital or religious talk recording on loudspeaker for hours. For all to hear, including the non-Muslims of the entire town or village. Apparently, the loudspeaker is indeed LOUD.

While I still appreciate the Azan being on loudspeaker, I find other recordings are annoying for people who're sleeping, showering, resting, or do other non-spiritual things (like in the toilet).

I also find it disrespectful of people other beliefs who need not to be told that they need to be converted. Over. and over again. (Dear non-Muslim fellows, please don't tell me you're not offended. I would if I were you)

I also find it irritating to hear Imams preaching about political scam while they just want to put down political parties of their lesser interest. (In fact, I don't really care what politicians say. I'd rather find someone who works with that politician talks.)

It is true that we wish to preach truth. We want to preach religion. To Muslims and non-Muslims alike. But if we don't practice respect, none of our speeches matter. The message most likely won't get through.

If we don't respect time, we're wasting time. Q103: 1-3. (I'm sure a lot of people memorise these powerful verses).

If we don't respect other people, don't blame people when they play deaf or blind. (What else to hear if what you hear is noise and what else to see if what you see is just a mess)

I call this a reverse culture shock mainly because of the punctuality of the Western culture that I admire and also the respect that they practice in most cases especially when it involves privacy. I'm not saying that our country is bad. I'm just saying that there are certain things that hasn't changed while it should have changed. And there are certain things that are just getting worst.

There are more to my Reverse-Culture Shock but mainly I keep it from public, including my family. It is for me to experience and deal with. What I put above, is for all to see and reconsider. What have we done to our culture and community?

P/s: Alright, I do agree with the anonymous reader who claims that the title is an overstatement. Frankly, it was just a catch to get people reading. Malaysians still lack of reading culture. I apologize. I still love my country for what it's worth.

What being a Secretary means to me.

2011-10-12T01:50:00.002+13:00

10 years back all I knew about a Secretary was just someone who writes letters. Heaps of letters and reports. Hence that justified why back then whenever a secretarial post was offered it was always the case someone pointed out:

In school : ”Let’s appoint a girl. Girls are more diligent than guys.” Or,

In college : ”Let’s appoint someone who’s good at writing, and diligent too” - At this point gender is not the main concern but the skills that matters.

But now in university : “Let’s appoint someone who has more free time and passionate about leadership” - At this point a much more mature criteria were pointed out. (Yes, free time IS important although we can always defy free time with "make" time)

I may not qualify for the most of the former criterias but I do, passionate about leadership. At this stage, being a secretary does not mean writing letters or emails all the time. A secretary must also know how to delegate work, how to make good networking with people and above all, must know when to listen and when she/he is required to lead.

There are more portfolio for a secretary out there. You can google all you want. Although to me, I started with zero experience and knowledge. I learned from the very bottom. All I had when I first became a secretary was “my willingness to learn”. Even now, I’m still learning.

3 years in the same position did not mean that I hindered myself to progress upwards, it just means that I’m equipping myself better before I start to think of leading on top. Not to mention, I somehow favour the thought of becoming the think tank more than being an icon. I’m forever thankful to everyone who has made my secretarial experience meaningful and successful thus far. It was definitely a rewarding experience.

With this, I close my chapter of being the secretary of Wellington UMNO Club.

All that remains are good memories. Thank You and Thank GOD.

Ps: Back then I wonder why Secretary needs to have the Secretary’s Day. Now I realize, it’s a post worths celebrating.

Once in a lifetime.. snow

2011-08-16T22:28:00.001+12:00

(1)

It's winter.
It's cold.
It might snow.
It already rained.
Pouring, inside out.
It's never easy.

24 July at 22:00

(2)

It snows . . as hoped, and expected.

25 July at 13:36

(3)

It snows again.
And it melts.
But still feel as cold.
Ah. .
Snow snow let it snow
It's paradise. In limbo.

14 August at 18:02

(4)

It's snowing
Not the usual snow
It's once in a lifetime snow
In my eyes
Every time I see the snow
..I see you
I see us
It's surreal
It's once in a lifetime

To the wind that blows the hails
To the snow storm that clouds the sky
I whisper my prayers to you
Hoping you are well and healthy

16 August at 22:18

Wellington city

Snow steps

Small and Big

2011-06-23T23:16:00.000+12:00

There's a big task
There's a smaller task
While the small admires the big above
Some smaller envy people would small the big
And claim the big one does all the talk
While the small one does all the job, and indeed is bigger!
Also some big ones belittle the small ones below
Think all too high and stop caring much
Which indeed make them smaller!

It is not about the size, it is the dedication
It is not about relativity, it is the respect
It is not about the pride, it is the compassion
It is not about the brag , it is the acknowledgment
Whatever task it is, do it well.
Be critical, but not full time critics!

11.05 pm
Victoria University of Wellington

This photo is not mine

- Just my "petty" feelings about all the political rally in the world. Why? Ask me in person.

What Does It Mean to Love?

2011-06-10T00:16:00.001+12:00

What does it mean to love?
If I can't be there for you
Through your desperate and happy times
To share your bad day as well as the good ones.

What does it mean to love?
To see my loved ones hurt each other
Thus cause me pain
For I can't be of any aid.

What does it mean to love?
If I have to hide it
For the sake of pride and remorse
Where honesty is questioned
and sincerity is tested.

What does it mean to love?
If I fear to let go
Yet I blocked my hearts
Good enough to be knocked
but well-sealed with a golden lock

[Republished. And now I don't even remember when I wrote it]

Versions of Gaudeamus Igitur

2011-06-07T12:54:00.007+12:00

Gaudeamus Igitur has been used in many European countries as a song for graduation. However, in Victoria we don't sing the song fully.

This is the one we usually sing in Graduation ceremony. (Blue lyrics below)

And this is the Full version (check out the Red lyrics below)

18th-century version of the song by C. W. Kindleben, 1781

Lyrics (source from wiki)

Latin English

Gaudeamus igitur
Iuvenes dum sumus.
Post iucundam iuventutem
Post molestam senectutem
Nos habebit humus.

Let us rejoice, therefore,
While we are young.
After a pleasant youth
After a troubling old age
The earth will have us.

Ubi sunt qui ante nos
In mundo fuere?
Vadite ad superos
Transite in inferos
Hos si vis videre.

Where are they who, before us,
Were in the world?
Go to the heavens
Cross over into hell
If you wish to see them.

Vita nostra brevis est
Brevi finietur.
Venit mors velociter
Rapit nos atrociter
Nemini parcetur.

Our life is brief
Soon it will end.
Death comes quickly
Snatches us cruelly
To nobody shall it be spared.

Vivat academia!
Vivant professores!
Vivat membrum quodlibet;
Vivant membra quaelibet;
Semper sint in flore.

Long live the academy!
Long live the professors!
Long live each student;
Long live the whole fraternity;
For ever may they flourish!

Vivant omnes virgines
Faciles, formosae.
Vivant et mulieres
Tenerae, amabiles,
Bonae, laboriosae.

Long live all girls,
Easy [and] beautiful!
Long live [mature] women too,
Tender, lovable,
Good, [and] hard-working.

Vivat et res publica
et qui illam regit.
Vivat nostra civitas,
Maecenatum caritas
Quae nos hic protegit.

Long live the state as well
And he who rules it!
Long live our city
[And] the charity of benefactors
Which protects us here!

Pereat tristitia,
Pereant osores.
Pereat diabolus,
Quivis antiburschius
Atque irrisores.

Let sadness perish!
Let haters perish!
Let the devil perish!
And also the opponents of the fraternities
And their mockers, too!

Latin	English
Gaudeamus igitur Iuvenes dum sumus. Post iucundam iuventutem Post molestam senectutem Nos habebit humus.	Let us rejoice, therefore, While we are young. After a pleasant youth After a troubling old age The earth will have us.
Ubi sunt qui ante nos In mundo fuere? Vadite ad superos Transite in inferos Hos si vis videre.	Where are they who, before us, Were in the world? Go to the heavens Cross over into hell If you wish to see them.
Vita nostra brevis est Brevi finietur. Venit mors velociter Rapit nos atrociter Nemini parcetur.	Our life is brief Soon it will end. Death comes quickly Snatches us cruelly To nobody shall it be spared.
Vivat academia! Vivant professores! Vivat membrum quodlibet; Vivant membra quaelibet; Semper sint in flore.	Long live the academy! Long live the professors! Long live each student; Long live the whole fraternity; For ever may they flourish!
Vivant omnes virgines Faciles, formosae. Vivant et mulieres Tenerae, amabiles, Bonae, laboriosae.	Long live all girls, Easy [and] beautiful! Long live [mature] women too, Tender, lovable, Good, [and] hard-working.
Vivat et res publica et qui illam regit. Vivat nostra civitas, Maecenatum caritas Quae nos hic protegit.	Long live the state as well And he who rules it! Long live our city [And] the charity of benefactors Which protects us here!
Pereat tristitia, Pereant osores. Pereat diabolus, Quivis antiburschius Atque irrisores.	Let sadness perish! Let haters perish! Let the devil perish! And also the opponents of the fraternities And their mockers, too!

It's a popular academic song that pokes fun at university life.. And I just knew about it, today.Well, basically this is what I get when I tried to find some inspirations on Youtube. lol.

Here is a Fun version (from Russia) :

If Ghost exists, I believe I may die and become one..

2011-05-15T01:58:00.003+12:00

This writing is not for faint-hearted. lol. jk.

Since I was young I watched a lot of ghost movies and series namely Nang Nak, Jerangkung, Ghost whisperer, and many more. I'd like to draw your attention to the famous one, Nang Nak.

Nak "lived" beyond her life to fulfill one and only wish; to welcome her husband home serve him. She hunted one by one and murdered any villagers that tried to reveal the truth about her "existence" to her husband, Mak. Nonetheless, when the truth came out Mak left her out of fear, of course. Nak extended "life" finally ended when the monk calmed her spirit and the most important of all, Mak let her go. Mak released her from her agony of wait and unfulfilled wishes to live together till the end of time.. The most touching ghost legend I've found, ever.

My points in her story are two:

She couldn't go the other World peacefully due to unfulfilled wishes behind.
The only way to leave peacefully needs some serious detachment and self-acceptance.

Now what's the relation with my entry's title this time? Am I going to be that faithful wife who'd rise from the dead to protect and serve my husband too? I pray I won't. I don't want to suffer the pain of leaving twice.

However, that's beside the point. In fact, my case may not relate to the ghost stories at all although I can say for sure, there is a correlation (aha, now my psychology and statistic knowledge come in handy).

I have sleeping trouble (as many would already know). In many occasions, I could find myself lying restlessly trying to sleep yet much often, I will actually dream of things that bother my mind before my sleep. In most cases, I'd try to prove something mathematically. I'd think extremely hard to solve the problems although the question itself may be a little blurry or vague. That said, none of the problems that arise in my dream would be a Valid question. There were just a little invalid lemma or corollary that evolved from the troubling case I faced in reality.

Once, I tried hard to compute a probability function concerning a love relationship between my friends.On another occasion I dreamed about a Matroid proving that I failed to solve before I sleep, yet the proposition evolved and became something that was totally unsolvable. I woke up, stressed. There were many more "proving dreams" that I had which none of them were entertaining at all. I become a ghost out of my own misery.

Back to Nang Nak points above:

I couldn't sleep well due to my heavy workloads during the day. (i.e unsettled/unfulfilled wishes)
If only I could "unload" them for once and at least sleep peacefully, that'd be nice.. (i.e detachment & self-acceptance)

Here are my favourite quotes for a point to ponder:

"If only we could lessen our attachment, life would be much sweeter" (Shamim Mazari, 2009)

Learn to detach...Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent... But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate fully. That's how you are able to leave it... Take any emotion--love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that love entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.

~ Mitch Albom Quotes from Tuesdays with Morrie

"This is Shamimi Shamsuddin reminding myself in case I forget" - (Read with Baba Ali intonation)

The result and few other things

2011-05-10T09:01:00.003+12:00

First, count the hot air balloons:

5? Correct! That's exactly the rank I got in The New Zealand Student of The Year competition.

I didn't manage to get the first place and win the said Award. Yet, I believe I had a fun time asking supports from friends, families. Being in the top 10 was an accomplishment, getting as much as 200++ supports and made new friends along the way were also an accomplishment.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for your supports.

I will still receive the certificate for being nominated. Alhamdulillah.. :)

My friend says :A silent victory is sweetest when shared -- intimately. (RZ)

But I would at least leak some of the happiness, not to brag but just as a motivation to myself ;) :

I hope we could be friends and support each other even more^^
You are still my model of the best Malaysian student in Victoria, thank you very much for all the inspiration and motivation you gave me, how powerful a speech could be! (Ang Ching Ting, 2011 - Winner of New Zealand Student of the Year Award")

Congratulations Ching Ting. I'm proud of you, too :)

Now, the other things. Here are the snippets:

Monday:

I had 3 hrs not so quality sleep in the hons room on Sunday night. It was freezing although I put on a heater. (Thanks Ayu for the heater)

In the morning apparently there was only me in the 9am class (the two students only class) so yeah, I had to open my eyes.

Nevertheless, in my other class I managed to quietly sat on the floor and slept for few minutes during the lecture. The lecturer must have felt weird because I asked him something at the beginning of the class and then I disappeared. And I was there towards the end of the class. lol.

In my last class yesterday I left my phone accidentally and had to retrieve it from the campus security afterwards.

Random much?

Tuesday:

I've been invited to have a lunch at Marae today by the Chair of Malay Studies in Victoria University.

A free Maori lunch! Yay.

And then work at Kiwiholidays. Back into being an office girl for awhile today, it seems. May the $$ pour *pur pur* (I've been quite poor lately :P) oh that rhymes pour pur pur poor. lol.

Don't let me start talking about my workloads. It won't end.

Above all, I hope nothing random (catastrophic) happens today. ;)

Vote for me, will you?

2011-04-22T12:05:00.001+12:00

Only if you think I deserve it.. :)

As of yesterday, I've been nominated as the top 10 finalist for New Zealand International Student of The Year. Show your support if you think I,as a fellow MALAYSIAN. deserve the honour.
1st you have to Like this page http:http://www.facebook.com/NZEducated
and then (most important part) please Like this pagehttp://www.facebook.com/notes/new-zealand-educated/international-student-of-the-year-finalist-shamimi-shamsuddin/10150166568559361
I need the vote of Likes amongst you, crucially to win.You have my approval if you wish to promote my page in any way..
(Don't worry about not being physically in New Zealand. Kat ceruk mana dunia pun kalau tekan like tu fb baca >.<. Plus, memang digalakkan family and friends back home(or not) mengundi) )
So, bantulah saya please.
Thank you very much!!

That was pretty much what I've written to people, demanding their supports. Hmm. Just who am I to owe them much "Likes"?

Just like other nominees I shared the answer why I deserve to win.

I have graduated in my BSC Mathematics last December and currently studying for my BSc Hons (Mathematics). Other than my academic achievement, I have also participated in a lot of extra-curricular activities, namely:

1)Cultural Forums (2010-2011): I have participated as panelists in few forums on cultural integration organized by Victoria International and MSC (Malaysian Student Council).

2) UN Youth Aotearoa New Zealand (2008-2011) - As member of UNYANZ, I participated as delegate in Model Asean Regional Forum 2010 as well as became the conference assistant (twice), and logistics coordinator (once).

3) VUW Swords Club (2010-2011) - Executive members of the fencing club. I learnt the martial art that is completely new to me and help around with organizing competitions.

4) Wellington UMNO Club (2008,2009,2011) - Secretary for one of the Malaysian club in Wellington.

5) Homework Club (2009-2010)- The club runs by Wellington Somali Council (NGO) to facilitate helps for refugee background high-school students. I volunteered as a tutor there.

6) Campus Coaches (2010) - guide and help new students for a smoother transition in campus and monitor their needs during their first month at uni.

7) Muslim Students of VUW Club (2009) - As the Cultural Council Representatives, I was responsible to connect Muslim students at university, regardless of our cultural backgrounds.

Other experiences:

I have also worked as a fruit packer in Roxburgh, Central Otago and lived with wonderful kiwis over there for about 1 and half month.

I am also blessed to have an adopted kiwi family which is very loving and caring towards me.

Of course, there are many other experiences that I cannot possibly list them in details here. I cherish my cultural experience in New Zealand very much. Getting involved with the Kiwi to me doesn't only mean to get to know the Maori or Pakeha but also about learning the "Kiwi culture" , namely the lifestyle of Kiwi that is much tolerant and compassionate to others, including the international person (like me), the refugees, and the people from different faith(namely the New Zealanders attitude towards Muslims).

However, unlike others who beautifully enchanted people with their words and wonderful experiences I made a list with some brief (as you can see, really-really brief) description of what I did in the past 3 years and what I continue doing now.

Even those, can't possibly summed up the wonderful experience I've had in New Zealand. Frankly speaking, the list may cover 65% of what I did so far. In retrospect, no matter how much they are, the significant of each of project is very little. By little here I mean the focus group is max about 200 people only. I've got nothing at the global event, or anything Mega or of utmost important of Human race.

I don't have much ideals written, of how I view the world and how I wish it may turn into better place. Checking out the all the nominees gives me a shiver. I'm not as great as they are. Especially in terms of academic. I'm still struggling. I do not top anything, to be honest. I haven't gained mastery of anything. I'm just a simple me, continuously struggling to survive. i.e I'm not really an excellent scholars with many awards nor am I any better than them at those extra co-curricular activities.

Now that I'm in the honours program, I missed those active life even more. Having meetings almost every day, having social events almost every week. Not to forget how I've got to run errands till I run out of My OWN money, and all the stresses that involved. etc. They may not as big as I mentioned above, but I know I've learnt a lot from those little things. I owe my life much from the countless mistakes I made, and the support of my friends.

All in all, I'm glad that I did my best back then so that I won't have anything to regret for later.But now, somehow I have to confine myself in the office and deal with excruciating workloads everyday.

Whether my life is actually well-balanced or not, who knows? It may not be at the moment, but I hope in the end all the hard work pays off. And the question whether I'm good enough to win? Who knows?

Utmost importance now: Please pray I will pass this honours program. It's all I need for now.

in Graduate Room with fellow Honours mate

Acknowledgement to the Heart. (Part II)

2011-03-23T02:32:00.000+13:00

How could you become a support
If you ain't sure , ain't have a clue
whether you have the much needed consolation
For all you know, wrong choice of aids
May hurt someone's pride more than the wound itself

How could you be of help
If the misery is well-hidden
So deep, so dark you 'd let it pass
If it hadn't for the slightest torch;clue.

More importantly, how could you be so sure
That you can be of assistance
That you're even worth listening to
Surely Words, and everlasting ways
To mend a broken heart
Could as well break it further
Through false hope
A treason to life itself..

Probably a pat in the back is better than a sorry.
A silent prayer might be better than any solace.
Sounds like nothing much you can do, right?
True.
So true.
To me, at least.

I'm never good at praising.
Nor am I any better at soothing.
My empathy has it's limit
To a point I can't possibly do anything strengthening.
I may only try
To that, I'm sorry.

Acknowledgement to the Heart.

2010-11-23T00:22:00.001+13:00

Whenever something unpleasant happens;

People say:
Don't take things for granted.
Look at the bright side.
Better things await.

Sometimes what we need is not the rationale behind things.
Everybody can think.
Wise words might help.
But just how far words and rationale sank into our emotions?
We need more appreciation to how we feels.
Not to solve anything.
Just to feel.

So Cry. Shout. Laugh.
Our hearts deserve some acknowledgement.

Day of Divine Diversity

2010-10-29T22:53:00.000+13:00

Greetings.

Today I just want to share a bit of writings from Botany MP , Hon Pansy Wong. (Also the current Minister of Ethnic Affairs of New Zealand) . Although her story this time does not involve the Muslim communities in New Zealand, believe it or not she was kind enough to drive for 1 and half hour to Hunua Falls for a Muslim Summer Camp organized by Youth Muslim Women of Auckland (YMWA) December last year. Her speech back then motivated me a lot to try to appreciate my difference and put it to an advantage of my own terms.

29 October 2010

Day of Divine Diversity

Last week I joined the Prime Minister on a three stop tour of some churches and temples frequented by the residents of our patch. I thought the visits were a fantastic demonstration of the diversity we are fortunate enough to enjoy here in Botany.

First we visited Reverend Andrew Brown and his congregation at the Pakuranga Baptist Church. The worshipers were obviously excited to have the Prime Minister there and gave us a very warm welcome. The church already had a Christmas feel about it as there was a giant pile of presents stacked in the foyer ready to be shipped overseas for those less fortunate.

Our next stop was just across the car park at the Baptist Chinese Church where the Reverend Albert Tang was just about to start the morning's service. Again we were given an enthusiastic welcome by the close-knit congregation. I thoroughly enjoyed the performance by the well rehearsed choir who very much looked the part of a church choir in their uniformed robes.

The third stop on our tour was just down the motorway at the Manuwera Sikh Temple. Upon our arrival we were given a tour of the Nanaksar Education Phulwari - the Childcare Centre adjacent to the Temple. While there we had an opportunity to meet with the excited children and enjoy some traditional Indian food. We were also welcomed to speak to the congregation in the temple itself. It was an impressive sight from the podium looking out over the many hundreds of attendees - the men on the right and the women on the left creating a brightly coloured sea of traditional clothing.

Below is a photo of the Prime Minister and I at story time in the Childcare Centre.

The whole day highlighted for me why New Zealand has twice been named the most peaceful nation in the world. A large part of this accomplishment can be attributed to the leaders of the various faiths in New Zealand as well as the community's respectful and inclusive nature towards a multi-faith and multi-ethnic society.

More information on Pansy Wong available here www.pansywong.co.nz.

Model ASEAN Regional Forum

2010-10-06T03:50:00.000+13:00

Date: Saturday, 2 October 2010.

Time: 9.00am – 5.00pm
Venue: Case Room 2, OGGB (Owen G. Glenn Building), University of Auckland

The ASEAN Regional Forum (ARF) is a deliberative body facilitated by the Association of South East Asian Nations (ASEAN) to conduct multilateral dialogue on issues critical to the region. There are 27 participant nations in the Regional Forum, including the 10 ASEAN members, as well as States from around the Asia Pacific region, and beyond.

The Model ASEAN Regional Forum was attended by tertiary level students from various degree and background, pretending like we were the minister from the respective ASEAN countries. The event was held on 2^nd August 2010 at Auckland University hosted by Auckland United Nations Youth Association of New Zealand (UNYANZ). It was my first event with the Auckland UNYANZ. Under Wellington UNYANZ previously I have supervised two Model UN debates in 2008 as a conference assistant and organized the Central North Island Model UN (CNIMUN) earlier this year as the Logistic Coordinator.

In Model ARF, I represented Thailand. I did apply Malaysia as my first choice of country but someone else got the place before me. Nonetheless, becoming a minister of Thailand was indeed very valuable experience to me as well. I had to debate the issue raised with respect to the foreign policy and the condition of Thailand. I also had the opportunity to make alliance with other countries other than mine, by considering the political interest that Thailand have with them, including Malaysia. Having said that, I had the opportunity to try to look at Malaysia from different perspectives.

The issue discussed was about the development of human rights in the ASEAN region following the establishment of ASEAN Intergovernmental Commission on Human Rights(AICHR). We debated over the steps required to fully utilize the commission for the promotion and protection of human rights. Considering that ASEAN cultures, ethnicities, and religions are very diverse human rights has to be handled in a very careful manner. The principles set out in the Charter of ASEAN had always been our guideline for peaceful and effective negotiation, including the respect for the principles of territorial integrity, sovereignty, non-interference and national identities of ASEAN members. At the end of the debate, the resolution passed and that marked the collective victory for all delegates present.

My personal contribution to this debate included making public speech, raised questions and also cooperation with my partner who also represented Thailand with me. It was my first experience debating for Model UN / ASEAN debate hence having someone to discuss with was a good opportunity for me to develop better understanding of the forum systems and the issue itself. Also, the experience of making alliance between countries was really meaningful because in the end, it was not just about the alliance between participating countries but I myself met new friends as well. The Model ARF overall has become a great opportunity for me to develop my language as well as social skills.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is actually an official report I sent to MSD

People and Humanity

2010-09-03T06:07:00.001+12:00

I couldn't sleep. Urghh.. Okay, let's not dwell upon that and let me tell you something that I've recently discovered.

Please note also this entry actually does not hold any particular views about utopia or anything of the sort. At all. (In case you expect something more upon reading the title)

Upon studying my Logic notes last night (oh well, practically few hours ago since I haven't quite get my night nighty sleep yet) I came to realize that I'm much more interested in the life of Mathematician/Logician involved than the content of what they were studying. This also happen whenever I studied other Math paper such as Coding and Cryptography which its foundation was laid by an algebra prodigy Galois.

Évariste Galois (French pronunciation: [evaʁist ɡalwa]) (October 25, 1811 – May 31, 1832) was a French mathematician born in Bourg-la-Reine. While still in his teens, he was able to determine a necessary and sufficient condition for a polynomial to be solvable by radicals, thereby solving a long-standing problem. His work laid the foundations for Galois theory, a major branch of abstract algebra, and the subfield of Galois connections. He was the first to use the word "group" (French: groupe) as a technical term in mathematics to represent agroup of permutations. A radical Republican during the monarchy of Louis Philippe in France, he died from wounds suffered in a duel under shadowy circumstances^[1] at the age of twenty.

Dead by 20 years old!! So Sad!

I long realized that I'm much interested in philosophy behind a subject. I really want to be good in what I'm studying and I always find this kind of background reading is motivating.

Cantor believed his theory of transfinite numbers had been communicated to him by God.^[12] David Hilbert defended it from its critics by famously declaring: "No one shall expel us from the Paradise that Cantor has created."^[13]

Now that is somewhat a beautiful idea, if not cult. lol

I'm also interested in psychology because I really love to get to know myself and the people around me.

Same goes to politics. I'm interested in how politics has an impact on people.

I love anthropology because I love studying culture, the major shaper of society today. It also gives me a sense of sensitivity towards other culture.

Faces of the world

Religion? Should I say more? Religion is meant to unify people and become the ultimate equalizer of all. With a high degree of tolerance towards other faiths as well, of course.

My love for people and humanity transcends beyond what I study as I simply could see it everywhere I go. I hope every step I made would have a positive impact on humanity albeit quite often,I'm influenced by people more than my contribution to them.

Memori silam datang kembali ..

2010-09-02T01:05:00.002+12:00

This ad really brings back memories of my family and I back in the 90's.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

terutama kepada Papa, Mama yang berusaha membesarkan Mimi dengan Keropok Lekor, ABC dan buku-buku.

How was I?

2010-08-30T02:37:00.000+12:00

Knock my head, please

2010-06-25T19:33:00.000+12:00

I'm freaking out.
Jargon.
Even the most common terms and symbols
look like a jargon.
Inscrutable.

Mentally disturbed
Physically petrified
Spiritually dismayed
Perfect combination.

Had a bad dream last night
I couldn't get myself in time
I didn't miss it
but I certainly lost it.
I couldn't get it done
and I thought I was done for.

I woke up all sweaty.

FIFA 2010 Kick-Off Review by Mimi Si Kaki Bangku

2010-06-12T06:23:00.000+12:00

June 12^th marked the beginning of FIFA World Cup 2010. And tonight, I'm going to give you a brief review of what my housemate, Carrie and I observed during the kick-off match between Mexico and South Africa just now.

Here are the highlighted players and the short comments on how they behave or look throughout the match:

Mexico

3 – A player with the face of a domestic abuser. *Muka garang. Takut takut >.<*

4 – Marquez. A cute player. In the second half of the game he scored a goal then sucked his thumb like a baby just before no. 17 hugged him from the back. *Huh? Kenapa perlu hisap jari?*

9 – Carrie's favourite .He looked scary when he missed the ball but he seemed to improve over time. *Here's Carrie's response - I want number nine!*

11- C.Vella. A cute player. Mine. *lol* Too bad he did an off-side in the first half and was substituted in the whole 2^ndhalf. I wish to see him perform even more.

12 – Another cute guy that Carrie likes. *When I asked why she favourited number nine then she said oh, nak like both number 9 and 12 lah. Dua dua cute*

17 – Santos. “Budak kecik” in our term but he wasn't bad at all. The opposition seemed to mark him a lot since he's a little aggressive. The first yellow card receiver in FIFA 2010 history!.

Goalkeeper – He looked pretty relax during the first half since the South African didn't attack so much but once on the second half he freaked out like someone shocked with a stun gun. *Gaya sangat gelabah okey* . That was a near miss goal anyway.

South Africa

I cannot distinguish the players except the team icon, Pienaar. For some obvious reason. *Hehe..*

All of them have the rugged appearance. Even stronger than the opposition. *this is a compliment by the way*

The other part of the game that we liked was the Slow Motion part, be it a replay or merely a glimpse of the players. On several occasions Carrie and I laughed at something like these:

a) The slow motion on one of the front benchers (possibly a coach or a manager) showed his Very Wide Mouth out of frustration over a missed goal. I was awed. *besarnya mulut die*

b)The slow motion on one of the screaming player made him look like a fish. In Carrie's word , “MPK(Majlis Perbandaran Kuantan) fish”

Overall of the game was not too bad . We had quite a fair result especially as a kick-off (1-1).Carrie and I especially admire the kick of no.4,Marquez because it looked better than the plain goal of South Africa. And yes, your hypothesis is true → We supported Mexico because they have cute guys :P albeit I did feel like rooting for the host team. But they were just too defensive.

I apologize for any disappointment over the review and especially for the slow motion part, I want to clearly state that we did not purposely try to laugh or offend anyone. It was instantaneous and I took it as a spice of our celebrated FIFA 2010.

You may also feel this review is not helpful or insightful at all but thank you for reading anyway. You've helped me to go through another sleepless night . i.e I tried to sleep earlier but my mind couldn't stop narrating this review and after 1 hour, I gave up sleeping.

The Road Not Taken (1915)

2010-06-08T00:34:00.000+12:00

by : Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

My response:

I shouldn't sigh

Though I've long wondered

Whether I should follow my Dream

Or to re-evaluate my strength

Because I may not notice

My strength may lay somewhere

Beyond what I Want to do

But at what I do Best

And what I should care

Is to take it to my Liking

Mi,

12:28 am

Wellington

What Literacy Has Meant For Me II

2010-05-30T23:10:00.003+12:00

Honesty

Honesty is claimed as the best policy.
Yet it may also repel others
once truth has come to light.

It is the only act of kindness
with its own counterbalance:
potentially calming and calamitous at once.

While sincerity is always questionable,
honesty should justify everything.
So honesty, please stay with me.

peace (^_^)~V

2.10am 29th May 2010
Victoria University of Wellington

Written by: Shamimi Shamsuddin
Edited by: Rafie Zuhaili

I feel like a writer. It's not everyday someone actually comes and proofreads your writing. I remember several friends who proofread my academic essays previously. My tons of thanks to Aiman, Fauzi, Chouji, Asyer (ok. semua lelaki ke.lol. no wonder William told me I'm a 'kaki lelaki' .oops. wth. he simply meant i have a good social skills ;P) . Without them, who knows how I'd passed my writing papers with my limited skills. After all, I'm a Math students who loves numbers but currently seems to almost forget how they look like. A bit of identity conflict there. ;P Writing is just a passion derives from my love for reading.

My mum works in a Book Cooperative. I was surrounded by books even before I was born. And I remember well how I played between those bookshelves with a childhood friend of mine, Boy. I honestly don't know his real name. lol. (oh, another boy? lol). My mum brought home Dewan Pelajar every month when I was in primary school and my dad used to read story books to me, particularly fairy tales. Mimi Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I could still remember that. I was well aware the main character's name was not Mimi to begin with but I knew that was his way to make me like the story and thus, built up the reading habit.And my brother introduced me to Comics. (I am still a big fan of comics ;P). I used to become a Library prefect, and even work part-time with my mum since I was 15. In short, I love books :)

But to write a book, or a long long story is a hard work. I'm a lazy bum. Hence, whenever I feel like there are so many things to tell, and so little word that I could put into writing, it'll turn out to be a poem. And my poems could explain things better than my usual writing. It is concise yet very precise. It is subtle but it's still decodable. oh i'm a Math student, still. I love symbols.

My short poem up there was edited by my not so new friend who has been generously edited it without my permission but perfectly put my gist to the lines without losing its originality. ;) Thank you very much. I can't thank you much enough of how you boosted my vocabulary by making me check the dictionary whenever I read your writing. (This is a compliment by the way. :p). Thanks again.

My not so new Life.

2010-05-09T19:51:00.004+12:00

I love my studies. But when your study breaks your heart you feel like you're left with nothing isn't it? Well, the world is not at the end. At least not yet.

Just recently I've hired a tutor for my Algebra (statistically the 2nd hardest undergrad Math paper at Victoria University). I've never imagined to go this far. I was pretty much self-sufficient when it goes to study. I can go to see lecturer when I feel I needed to, but not always.Yet this time, I really need extra helps because I can't rely on the lecturer alone or even myself. I don't want to explain any further on why I take this step that costs me $20/h.It's too depressing. All you need to know is, this is me,struggling to stand on my feet in my final year of my Math degree. Whether it really works or not, we'll see 7 weeks from now. I pray that it works. And it will, because I have to make it happen.

"Let no one think that it is impossible because it is difficult. It is the highest goal, and it is no wonder that the highest effort should be necessary to attain it.(M.K. Ghandhi)"

I've talked to my mates about Life recently. Looking back on how I spend my time this year, I may say that I meet less people, offer less service, shop less(well that's good actually), attend less social activities as compared to what I've done in previous years. I was busy and now I am still occupied. But only by my study and sleep.I've tossed away things that I like for this enjoyable unsurpassed freedom to pursue my intellectual pursuits (as my friend beautifully put it). I could confine myself in my house 3 days without stepping out of the door at all and sit for more than 8 hours for studying. And to be honest, I don't regret it at all. In fact, I feel like I'm closer to what I want this year. My life may seem dull to others but I'm trying to enjoy it the best I can. It's even harder than I ever imagined. And the finite time that has been graciously given to me sometimes feels too short. And just because I'm not doing many activities in significance it doesn't mean that I have enough time for everything. I still need to continuously reevaluate and reconsider my steps and my investment on Mr Time.

"If you don’t have time to do it right,
when will you have time to do it over?"

- John Wooden

Indeed, I understand that it's not how much time you spend is important , but it's how productive you spend your time that matters. Quality over quantity, yes that's exactly what I seek for. Please pray that my epic steps here will finally get me to what I want.

Here's a song that somehow raised my spirits for over a week already.

01 What Faith Can Do.mp3

Closure.

2010-04-02T18:48:00.001+13:00

I’m finally done with the clubs and any management responsibilities.

As at 1st April 2010, I’m free like a bird. Spreading my wings and fly to a new horizon. Focusing more on my academics as my academic is NOT at its best yet and I direfully need to improve my grades and performances.

For now, it may be good to recap what I had earlier this year.

As in January, I was away in South Island doing some fruit-packing at Clutha Packing Centre, Roxburgh, Central Otago. Working mostly 10 hours per day was tiring though sometimes I demanded even more work. My materialist eyes couldn’t escape the temptation of money regardless how strained my muscle was.I packed cherries and apricots. I love the foods and the people but hell it’s tiring now that i don’t feel like working like that again. As per the experience, it’s good enough and it’s Really Enough. lol. Though I'd surely miss the moments I had with my friends and my bosses there.

I had good times traveling to Christchurch, Dunedin and Queenstown as well. The warm South Islanders greeted me and took me around. It was my first time going to South and it was indeed a beautiful memory.In short, South Islanders Rock!

Those valuable experiences I included also in a cultural adjustment interview workshop during the International Student Orientation handled by Vic Internationals in February. I talked in front of about 200 new international students about challenges and what they could possibly experience in New Zealand later on.

End of February marked my first experience becoming the Campus Coach for 2010 new Victoria University students. It was a 5 weeks program including the training week. I was trained to assist new students for a smoother transition in university alongside another 100+ other campus coaches. This year alone, we’ve coached more than 900 students which is an increasing number of around 200 students compared to last year. I’m glad to be part of the program so far and thanks to it, I made a lot of new friends as well. Getting good feedback from the students and the coordinator reminded me of how I became the facilitator in high school ages ago.(man, i feel old. lol)

To be honest, dealing with new students is not really a new thing for me. But,dealing with new students who came entirely from different culture as I am was really new to me. I was quite anxious of their acceptance to me and how well they'd understand the message that I tried to convey. I couldn't sleep well 2 days prior to my first meeting with all of the scary thoughts that I might not be able to get any students at all. However, it turned out that I had 9 students under my care and in our last meeting some of us had an awesome time at Kaffe Eis eating ice cream.

On 31st March 2010, I organized the Central North Island Model United Nations in Palmerston North. Alongside with my professional teammates, we even made it to the news! As the least experienced person in MUN, I was given the post of Logistics Coordinator. It’s a high post with huge responsibilities. Nonetheless, it’s my first time handling logistics so I screwed a lot. You hear me, A LOT. But the event turned out very well thanks to my Event Coordinator Alex Sinclair and Wellington UNYANZ President Scott Summerfield. Not to forget my fellow Conference Assistants that woke up and get set to go to Palmey by 6 o'clock in the morning! Priceless.

Previously, I was engrossed in secretarial and managerial roles that I tend to pay the least attention to logistics as I’d just leave the responsibilities to the logistics officer. And if I were to handle any logistics I would be the one handling the money, at hands. CNIMUN was a big difference to me as I have to do the budgeting without the money at hands and make few bookings . Adapting to a new working culture is also another thing. There were so much to learn about! The style, the food and the manners. I would say this might be my biggest event so far but with me giving the lesser contributions. I’m glad to be in such a committed and professional team but I’m not fully satisfied with my role-playing this time. Simply said, it was hell a big challenge for me and to be honest, I was not at my best. Oh am I selling myself short this time?

Nonetheless, I thank Allah for giving me great opportunities to experience all these sorts of things while I’m in New Zealand and I won’t stop thanking Him for all the stress and responsibilities that He’ve trusted upon me. It was all worth it. Be it good or bad, they were all for something.

A friend of mine reminded me that “everything has its time and place”.

Bad things would happen at the our unexpected point in our life but in the end, it was meant to happen. We need to learn from the mistakes and put our best effort not to let it happen again.

Easier said than done Mimi?? Sure thing.

May the Force be with us.

something less worthy

2010-03-24T13:02:00.002+13:00

Hello.

Saya nak ke kelas

(tu pun nak cakap ke?)

Saya nak mandi dulu

(tu pun nak cakap ke)

Saya tido banyak arini

(sape suruh tido lambat)

Hari ni hujan

(ingat ni weather forecast ke)

Saya kene study

(yes.so pegilah mandi)

Ini hanyalah post random utk mengisi ruang blog yg dah makin bersarang ni.

Dengan ini diisytiharkan rumah aku dah ade broadband internet . yey.

Maybe I can write something more worth reading later. :P

Bye bye for now.

Several Invitations

2009-11-30T02:52:00.000+13:00

"Salaam mimi. Just remember that u are my waitress tomorrow. Lol. hahaha" (Sadia Jimale, 28/11)

I went to my Somalian friend, Sadia's house today. She threw a sort of a farewell party for our friends. I came as early as 2.30pm to ~~mess~~ help out. The foods were delicious, masyaAllah. Thank you very much Sadia. The guests arrived around 4.15pm and we dined as early as 5.30pm! i was just hungry, so believe me i felt no shame eating dinner at that hour and later re-dined at 11pm. LOL. Thank you Nad Fackeer, Nisrin, Fathen, Sarah, Diana, Zaira, Nad, and Hanisah for being our guests this afternoon. Not to forget, thank you Aisyah for coming "fashionably late" and dined with me again after that.lol. Sadia, I , Mumtaz and Naseeb love you guys so much. So much that we couldn't bear the fact that you guys are leaving us for good soon. *sob sob sob :'(*

Actually, I have 5 other invitations this evening. All were at around 7pm. But I didn't go to any of them. Instead, i stayed in Sadia's house afterward and just recently got home. Thanks Ish for the ride.

I'm sorry girls (the tesl girls, u know who you're), for not being able to join you guys to visit K.Dija and Nanette although I've enthusiastically shown my interest to join you guys last Sunday.

I'm sorry Dirah, for not coming to your late father's small kenduri today, although it's actually happening right in my house.

I'm sorry Neddy, for not being there to taste your delicious tiramisu with the rest of your guests. I hope my 2/3rd trifle served you guys well.

I'm sorry Razif, for not making time to enjoy bubble tea with you and the gang, although i'm the one who complain almost everyday that i feel "neglected" in some sort of way.

I'm sorry K.Meme, for not going to your house. There was a slight miscommunication about the invitation, really. But i'm glad to know that you actually remember me.

Friends,

Thank you.

Thank you so much . Your thought is the drum of my heartbeat (i've just happily created my own proverb.lol).

May Allah grant you happiness and success in your life. Ameen.

::A brunchbar for my brain::

Small Details Are What Life Is All About?

"Good things come in small packages" .

Yes, that's exactly another generalisation but no, it's not completely absurd.

One month away from Civilisation

What being a Secretary means to me.

Once in a lifetime.. snow

(1)

It's winter. It's cold. It might snow. It already rained. Pouring, inside out. It's never easy.

24 July at 22:00

(2)

It snows . . as hoped, and expected.

(3)

It snows again. And it melts. But still feel as cold. Ah. . Snow snow let it snow It's paradise. In limbo.

14 August at 18:02

(4)

It's snowing Not the usual snow It's once in a lifetime snow In my eyes Every time I see the snow ..I see you I see us It's surreal It's once in a lifetime To the wind that blows the hails To the snow storm that clouds the sky I whisper my prayers to you Hoping you are well and healthy

16 August at 22:18

Small and Big

What Does It Mean to Love?

Versions of Gaudeamus Igitur

If Ghost exists, I believe I may die and become one..

The result and few other things

Vote for me, will you?

Acknowledgement to the Heart. (Part II)

Acknowledgement to the Heart.

Day of Divine Diversity

Model ASEAN Regional Forum

People and Humanity

Memori silam datang kembali ..

How was I?

Knock my head, please

FIFA 2010 Kick-Off Review by Mimi Si Kaki Bangku

The Road Not Taken (1915)

What Literacy Has Meant For Me II

My not so new Life.

Closure.

something less worthy

Several Invitations

It's winter.
It's cold.
It might snow.
It already rained.
Pouring, inside out.
It's never easy.

It snows again.
And it melts.
But still feel as cold.
Ah. .
Snow snow let it snow
It's paradise. In limbo.

It's snowing
Not the usual snow
It's once in a lifetime snow
In my eyes
Every time I see the snow
..I see you
I see us
It's surreal
It's once in a lifetime

To the wind that blows the hails
To the snow storm that clouds the sky
I whisper my prayers to you
Hoping you are well and healthy