aPathetic Blog

shadows

2012-01-10T14:56:00.001-05:00

iCade...

2011-12-30T13:05:00.001-05:00

50% off, Bed Bath & Beyond...

When TV's get bored they watch the Saginaw River.

2011-12-30T08:03:00.001-05:00

Taken at Boat Dock

ZaggMate No. 2 Fragrance

2011-12-29T15:49:00.001-05:00

Bye heavily customized first run ZaggMate w Keyboard, with a custom
Zagg skin on it, who's little hinge prop up thingy finally snapped
off...Hello replacement updated and naked ZaggMate w Keyboard. I
really wish I could have transferred the skin to the new one, but you
can see it was only going to come off stretched and in layers.

I like the feel of these keys better though. I'm not sure what I will
do about the skin or if I will have one.

See the full gallery on Posterous

I was hoping for dance clubs

2011-12-22T14:35:00.001-05:00

Siri...

2011-11-25T07:53:00.001-05:00

Taken at Boat Dock

One thing I just don't get about iTunes Match...

2011-11-24T10:34:00.001-05:00

My Top 25 Most Played auto-playlist contains 328 Songs?

Omnio WOW keys

2011-11-04T10:41:00.001-04:00

$40 :)

I like. A lot. Might get another for home sometime. Docks, charges,
& syncs. Not too much room for people with cases on their phones.

Google Calendar textin 48368

2011-10-06T14:21:00.001-04:00

It might be too much to ask, but I would like my Google Voice # to be
able to txt to the Google Calendar short code and be recognized.
(48368) You can only associate one number to your Calendar.

Thank you whomever cares.

Cock n Bull

2011-10-05T11:39:00.001-04:00

Taken at Red Eye Cafe

My Pilot days are closing in

2011-09-29T08:16:00.001-04:00

I think if I was ever drowning I would grab onto a lime.

From Letters of Note:

My Pilot days are closing in

Late-2000, in an effort to find a sponsor for his act, stand-up comedian Mitch Hedberg wrote to the makers of his new favourite pen, The Uni-Ball Gel Impact, and suggested such a partnership. His amusing letter — or, more specifically, a draft of it as written on tour with his wife, Lynn — can be seen below.

Other examples of the late comedian's previously unseen writings can be found at the recently revamped and highly recommended Mitch Hedberg website.

Transcript follows. Image courtesy of MitchHedberg.net.

Image: MitchHedberg.net

Transcript

UNIBALL:
HI....
I AM WRITING TO THE MAKERS OF THE UNIBALL 'GEL IMPACT' PEN. UNFORTUNATELY I AM DOING SO WITH A PILOT P-500. AS OF THIS MOMENT, I HAVE YET TO LOCATE YOUR MAGNIFICENT PEN IN A STORE. AS SOON AS I FIND ONE I WILL PURCHASE ONE.
THIS IS THE DEAL....
I AM A STAND-UP COMEDIAN, MY NAME IS MITCH HEDBERG. I HAVE BEEN ON 'THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN' SIX TIMES. I HAVE A ½ HOUR COMEDY CENTRAL SPECIAL THAT IS PLAYED ON THE CHANNEL ALL THE TIME. I'VE MADE A GUEST APPEARANCE ON 'THAT 70'S SHOW' AND I HAVE A VERY VERY SMALL ROLE IN THE NEW CAMERON CROWE FILM, 'ALMOST FAMOUS.' I'VE DONE JUST ABOUT EVERY CABLE COMEDY SHOW AROUND.
RIGHT NOW I AM ON A TOUR IN AN RV WITH MY WIFE. OUR NEXT STOP IS RALEIGH, N.C.. ONE EVENING WE PULLED INTO A KOA TO SLEEP. I HAD TO FILL OUT A RESIGNATION SLIP AND THE SECURITY GUY HANDED ME ONE OF YOUR GEL IMPACT PENS TO DO THE JOB.
IT WAS A VERY SATISFYING WRITING EXPERIENCE TO SAY VERY LITTLE.
I WOULD LOVE TO ARRANGE A SPONSORSHIP DEAL WITH YOUR COMPANY SO I CAN PLUG THE THING. I'D BE SO HAPPY TO WEAR A UNIBALL T-SHIRT ON MY NEXT LETTERMAN SPOT. I'D PROMOTE THE PEN ANYWAY POSSIBLE.
I STILL HANDWRITE MOST OF MY JOKES. PERHAPS I WILL TYPE THEM MORE IF UNIBALL UNLEASHES A GEL IMPACT KEYBOARD. I USE PENS CONSTANTLY. YOUR PEN IS IT. I'VE TRIED BUYING EXPENSIVE PENS BUT NONE HAVE LIVED UP TO THE G.I.. SO SMOOTH AND EASY TO CONTROL.
IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO TOGETHER? WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN CO-SPONSORING A TOUR? WE COULD PUT A LARGE BANNER ACROSS THE BACK OF THE STAGE: "GEL IMPACT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE WRITTEN VERSIONS OF THE JOKES THIS COMEDIAN IS SAYING."
I'D BE SO PROUD.
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND THANKS A TON FOR READING THIS.
MY PILOT DAYS ARE CLOSING IN.
SINCERELY,
(Signed)
MITCH HEDBERG
(Address redacted)
SORRY ABOUT ANY SPELLING MISHAPS!

Original Page: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LettersOfNote/~3/MvmL5rA-qdI/my-pilot-days-are-closing-in.html

 775-293-8637 - pɐԀı ʎɯ ɯoɹɟ ʇuǝS

?

2011-09-22T15:32:00.001-04:00

Uh wut? Better yet, Saginaw, don't tell me...

[Blah Blah Blah] GodFinger and wants you to join [Blah Blah Blah]

2010-08-25T08:36:00.001-04:00

This blog just ended up being a collection of random venting when opting out of email lists doesn't work or something... So sad.

See if you can opt-out for me? Lol. ngmoco sucks. So does WeRule (crashes, and no the new versions don't fix anything) and GodFinger lost any "it was pretty cool" love when I get these stupid messages daily despite repeatedly opting out.

From: Plus+ <donotreply@plusplus.com>
Date: Wed, Aug 25, 2010 at 4:11 AM
Subject: is playing GodFinger and wants you to join

O' Wondrous One!

YOUR MOMMA has invited you to play GodFinger, the social god game for the iPhone and iPod Touch! Join now to start populating your planet with Followers, earning gold and buying items to customize your world.

GodFinger is FREE. Download it to become a god now!

Don't want to receive these emails?
Opt-out here

Eat Some Voicemail

2010-03-20T15:54:00.003-04:00

If you read this blog AND if you like going straight to voicemail you should totally take advantage of this opportunity presented below. Ahh Technology.

Quickpost.

2010-02-18T10:21:00.003-05:00

I have made $0.27 from this blog over the course of it's time on teh interwebs. Being that this blog cost nothing, it's pure profit, baby. I don't think I'll ever see it because it has to hit somewhere around $100(?) for Google to send me a check. By my calculations I would also have to make around 370 blog sites that ran for 3 years each to make that much. That's a whole lot of blogs about not caring; sure I'd be internet rich and drunk with the resulting power, but what would this do to the world's motivation? I just thought about it, and I can't live with the guilt already.

Thoughts I shouldn't be sharing.

2009-10-16T08:35:00.008-04:00

TOMSShoes.com, man.

I saw an ad. That's where you can get shoes that are made Vegan-Friendly or something. I think I have an open mind, but I had not heard of such a thing; I assume it to mean these shoes must have some kind of nutritional value. Makes sense. There's always that chance you could be on a desert island with nothing more than a volleyball and the shoes on your feet. And in that case, you can't be stuck there wearing shoes you can't eat, on principle, after all. "People are going to laugh at you." - You just know when they find you, they will eat your shoes. You might dismiss this new trend as we all have some shoes on our feet, but I can see it now: you aren't going to want to be the one at the party who only brought the shoes on their feet to pass around. These days you have to be considerate.

Don't think Vegans are the only people craving a good forkfull of natural performance footwear. The Omnivores have their own shoes, as do the strict Carnivores. This can only be because the Vegans have put their stake in the ground and declared an end to the one-size-fits all approach to edible footwear. Apparently all these people are picky when it comes to eating them some shoes. I don't see it as that and my mom would agree. If she knew about this, she'd say any growing person needs some protein. So, I'm not going to judge them if they eat their own Keds, nibble away at Mr Pumpkin Feet's new shoes, or scarf down someone's Crocs. (Maybe the Crocs.) I don't call that picky, I call that knowing what makes you feel good, and a big size 14 cabbage shoe would probably make a Vegan feel good. They need that. They can walk home in the rain puddles, take off those cabbages, rub their feet a little, and immediately munch away after peeling off the outside leaves, of course. You can't just go substituting your happiness in place of what someone wants. You certainly can't when it comes to their nutritional needs. You have to give them the shoes they want in their mouth, when they want it.

That's TOMSShoes.com, man. Don't forget to ask about their soy-based socks and their open-tofu sandals.

Loldak

2009-09-30T08:15:00.006-04:00

Computerese translation: Prepare for another round of extortion!

Hmm....

Lol ->

Oh, God, Dejavu. I hope it's not measured in ZDMT:

Cold Summer Re-Re-Visited

2009-08-28T15:19:00.002-04:00

As my only subscriber to this blog, I thought I would give myself a nostalgic treat. Back in 04 I wrote something that I keep coming back to for some reason, reading it over, and realizing not much has changed in my thinking at times like this. Something feels off, and I don't know what it is. It's hard to explain how I feel when I feel like this, but this 04 post seemed to do it. Not much of my writing is even readable by me years afterwards - But this is. I don't know why, but I've been feeling down for the past week. It's not exactly depression, I'm not sure what it is. My anal-ytical side wants to think it's complaining about really having nothing to complain about, but that's too emo for me to accept. I just read this when I'm in those moods, and I feel better somehow.

What I really want to know is why I feel compelled to go to the trouble to repost it for a 3rd time. I want to think that maybe somewhere in the universe someone reads it and says, 'Woah. Now how the hell do I feel better from this?" Maybe they know actually, whereas I do not. My first reaction to me if I was in the mood to talk to myself after reading myself would be, "Oh this is your cry for help, attention, emotion." Nope. If you find this, take it in, but realize I'm not after any of the aforementioned responses, that's why it ends up here. By the way, I chuckle at the hallway of blood part, but the rest is all real. I really did break my safety glasses that day.

Cold Summer
It's one of those days...Ok, It's not. At least...I don't think it is. I mean it...COULD be, and I'm just too oblivious to see it. Well then again, it might...NOT be, and I'm paranoid and just wonder if it is or
could be. You see, I woke up this morning, but I'm not really awake. It is summer, yet it is cold. I went to work and didn't exactly 'work'. I went to lunch, without having lunch. During that time I relaxed with my GameBoy, while being annoyed and frustrated by the game. After...lunch, I came back to...work. I'm now writing this without writing about something; I guess that I'm not really writing. I can also say I'm 'not writing' this in Notepad, in other words, I'm 'not blogging' this and doing so without my blog. I'm listening to music right now without being able to hear it. Earlier, my safety glasses...broke when they fell. At my job I manage to manage without someone to manage and without having a manager. And, I report to no one, only you, right now: And there is nothing to report.
Yes, a day of insignificance, July 8th, 2004, made significant by writing this and now a part of my history recorded on this insignificant website. Compounding all this, I figure I shouldn't be afraid of impending unknowns; while a part of me says I should be. But one thing I'm sure of is that if the proverbial tree falls in the forest, and I'm not there to hear it: I won't care about it one bit, but I'm pretty sure I might "not write" about it. I mean, is there much difference between this body of text and "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" written 10,000 times? Maybe. The difference is if Jack had a copy and paste function in notepad, he might have had more time to play with the twins in the hall of blood.
And if all this confuses you and doesn't make any sense, then you understand, completely.
Time to paste this to my blog.

Ziff Davis Mean Time ZDMT

2009-08-04T09:24:00.004-04:00

I mean, really, Ziff Davis? How long does that signal take to reach one side of your Borg collective? Back in 2007 you said it may take up to 7 days. Like some people say that God created the world in 7 days but it was like really lonnnnng days spanning millions of years. That kind of 7 days is when I will be unsubscribed, apparently.

Exhibit 1 - Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Exhibit 2 - Wednesday, October 31, 2007 (OMG Again)

Exhibit 3 - Monday, September 24, 2007

Today, you slipped an email past my handmade filters that automatically 'unsubscribe' me from the mailing list that is immune to any unsubscription - Yours. As an excercise in futility I clicked on the unsubscribe link. Strangely absent were the words 'it may take up to 7 days...." I now see the wording up top. I guess they confused too many people with their "God Days".

Once you enter this world, kids, you can never leave it...

2009-05-07T12:51:00.001-04:00

If my crap isn't selling when it's free, then it must be time to start charging people. That way they know it has value. http://ping.fm/zINrb

Kodakian Extortion

2009-03-23T08:27:00.001-04:00

Kodakian Extortion
Originally uploaded by jeffdiogenes

So check this out. I have like one picture on Kodak's photo sharing/storage
site, but not for long. I signed up because of relatives telling me how
super awesome this site was for getting prints (never do that!) and having
private pictures.
I disagree. Looks like they employ extortionists in their sales and
marketing departments.

In 2009, not being able to store 1gig at least of photos free in a service
online is a a shame and a crime against humanity in general.

I implore the world to not give into this extortion, there's photobucket,
flickr, picasa out there and they don't want to hold pictures of your
children for ransom.

SEND FIVE DOLLARS (a month) OR THE ONLY COPY YOU HAVE OF LITTLE BILLY NEXT
TO GOOFY IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM GETS IT. Wtf?

Viva La Retirement(!)

2009-02-25T18:34:00.001-05:00

Viva La Retirement(!)
Originally uploaded by jeffdiogenes

I think I'll be cashing in this part of my tim hortons retirement plan, tomorrow.

Gladly

2009-02-23T10:48:00.001-05:00

Gladly
Originally uploaded by jeffdiogenes

Please play again?
Yup, I will.

Bob E. Saturday

2009-02-21T10:49:00.001-05:00

Bob E. Saturday
Originally uploaded by jeffdiogenes

She sits with a zen-like expression of content with the order she placed.

Mostly Testing Something

2009-02-14T18:58:00.001-05:00

Mostly Testing Something
Originally uploaded by jeffdiogenes

Signed Perceptionists Album.

"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture." - Frank Zappa