...a word from Kathy

Is it True?

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 10:41:43 PST

I found myself in Georgia last week, on a campus visit with my daughter. It was Sunday morning and I was going through channels looking for a worship service. As you can imagine, the Deep South television offered me numerous choices. So I found myself listening for a few minutes then surfing to the next (kind of like my husband does at night….which totally frustrates me!)

I stopped on one station as the congregation was singing a favorite song of mine, “How great is our God”.

♬♪How great is our God, sing with me

How great is our God, and all will see

How great, how great is our God♪♬

I listened and sang. Then I watched more closely and saw a lack of expression on every face, a lack of realizing just what we were singing. I saw myself suddenly in Sunday worship. And it grieved me.

A few nights before this hotel experience I watched a film named EE-TAOW. It’s a story from New Tribes Mission about the Mouk tribe of Papua New Guinea and how they respond to hearing the Gospel message. As I recall from the movie, once the completion of the gospel story was fully explained, which occurred over several months, the people began to shout EE-TAOW, EE-TAOW, EE-TAOW. This means, “IT IS TRUE”, “IT IS TRUE”! The film indicates that the Mouk people celebrated this good news, this news of a Saviour for three hours! Three hours of dancing, crying, screaming, laughing… “It is true”, it is true”!

My mind suddenly contrasted these two viewings – a sedate singing of How Great is Our God vs. the out-of-control celebration of a tribe of new believers in New Guinea. Does this seem odd to you? Does the dancing, crying and laughing of “it is true” seem odd and inappropriate? Or does it seem that perhaps we’re missing something? Maybe we’re missing the meaning of the words we sing in worship. Maybe we’ve sung them for so long that they’ve lost their meaning. But have they? Are we living these words of truth?

Sing and cry out with me in total, unbridled joy: How Great is our God! It is True!

One Touch

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:05:54 PST

She was so very sick. Years of sickness consumed her life. Did she really even have a life at this point? Twelve years of illness, doctors, specialists, medicines, herbal treatments…and still no relief. Her life had now become about survival. Those once close to her were long gone. Those who she once paid to help care for her were gone when her money ran out. She was so obviously sick that those in her small town began to avoid her. She was not important. She was not the leader. She was invisible to many.

Several weeks ago I heard a teaching on the hemorrhaging woman. This has always been a favorite scripture of mine and for many reasons. The woman’s belief and faith in Jesus’ ability, Jesus’ immediate awareness that the edge of His cloak had been touched even amongst the jostling crowd, the disciples reaction to His question of “who touched me”.

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but on one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.

When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.” But Jesus said, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.” Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Luke 9: 43-47

Today as I ponder this story, I’m moved by one small phrase.

“She came up behind him and touched the edge of His cloak”…one secret, small touch...one decision to believe…one action.

The crowd was around Jesus and following Jesus. The large crowd was wowed and wooed by Jesus’ healings, miracles, and His presence. I’m confident the crowd consisted of people with very mixed motives for being there. Some may have just been there to see the action. Some may have been hoping to see some showmanship so they could say they had been there. Some were certainly there to love, support and follow Jesus. He was the one Love they had just found.

It’s easy to be in the crowd, to follow the lead of those up front. It’s easy to get lost in the crowd too.

But this sick, outcast woman…quietly, secretly, unnoticed by everyone else reached out with one touch. And this action changed her world forever. But it also changed Jesus’ world that day. And it changed those in the crowd who stood the closest…those who heard Jesus’ words, those who heard the woman’s explanation, those who saw the healing. One touch…lives changed forever.

That’s what I hear Him saying to me today. One touch…in a hurting world. One hour…to those who have not heard the name of Jesus proclaimed. One phone call…to a lonely widow. One lunch…with a new friend from China, Korea, Sudan, or your neighbor across the street. Just one touch…one reach…

For Jesus is the first One. He’s always been about One.

•I am the Alpha and Omega…One from the beginning and to the end.

•Love ONE another

•He gave One goal: go into the world and spread My message

But we stop and doubt whether our one touch will even make a difference. We want the world to change and learn of our God but forget He called us to take one step to serve one person and to follow One.

She took one step and reached out for one touch. And she changed her world, His world and their world. Can I? Will I? Can you? Will you?

Eyes to see?

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:21:03 PST

Last week, I ate lunch with two of my dearest friends from China. They are both Ph.D. students at the University of Alabama and we often lunch together. One girl was telling us stories of her math classes and tutoring experiences. One little tidbit she shared was about an elementary school student she tutors. The following is their dialogue:

Little Girl: Your eyes are different from mine. They’re squinty.

Tutor: Yes, the shape is very different. Yours are round and mine are more oval.

Little Girl: Well…can you still see all I see?

After telling this, our friend broke into a huge smile, which made her eyes totally disappear, and she giggled in delight at the little girl’s question. She was not offended but thrilled with the relationship and innocence of the little girl. We all laughed and oohed about this darling little girl and how cute her comment.

But now a week later, I’m still stuck on the question…Can you see all I see?

Certainly, my Chinese friends can see all we see physically. But have they been given the opportunity to see what we see spiritually? I have known both of these friends for four years. I know that before that came to the United States to study they had never been introduced to the Christian God, Jesus. We’ve gone through sickness, hospital visits, broken relationships, scholastic difficulties, job problems, celebrations, births, deaths…. basically, we’ve lived life together. In all these experiences, can they see all I see? Have they had the opportunity to see my Jesus?

Years ago, we were living in Corpus Christi, Texas. In south Texas, there are no tall trees; therefore, you are able to see from horizon to horizon. On this day, there had been a huge rainstorm and it was still clearing off. My 5-year-old daughter (who is now 17) and I were traveling home when we noticed a rainbow. I decided to drive straight to the bay so we could fully see it. As we got to the bay, we saw it was actually a double rainbow extending the full horizon – I had never seen such a sight! Sarah and I were thrilled and we begin to name all the colors we could see. It was truly amazing and quite a day for a mother’s heart.

That night at bedtime, I was tucking Sarah in and we begin to say our prayers. I first prayed and thanked God for our day, and the clouds and the rainbows. Then Sarah prayed….and changed my world. “Dear God, thank you for today with my mama. Thank you for showing us the clouds and mostly, God, thank you for giving us eyes to see rainbows”.

These two very different days and times in my life feel connected to me. My daughter teaching me to thank God for giving us eyes to see and a young Chinese girl telling a funny story that strikes at the heart of who we’re called to be…. can you see all I see? I see these people who don’t know our Jesus and I walk right by them or ignore them or get too busy to interact or I’m too insecure to try to interact. Are you like that too? Or is it just me?

We have been given eyes to see and know there are those in our world whose eyes do not yet see all we see…so what’s my response?

Give me eyes to see. Give me eyes to see your people. Give me eyes to see people who do not YET see all we see…the nations will be streaming to you – Hallelujah!

In the last days, the mountain of the LORD’s temple will be established  

as the highest of the mountains;  

it will be exalted above the hills,  

and all nations will stream to it. Isaiah 2:2

NewYear Tears

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 10:10:31 PST

Warning: the words below are personal. I take no offense if you skip this blog…

For me to write is a way to healing….so I must write…to let HIM into my brokenness.

When I was growing up, I learned two difficult things: words can hurt people and the silence of no words can hurt people. So it seems words have always surrounded me in good ways and in bad. I find it interesting that now I write words to express my own heart’s joy, pain and celebration. I also find it interesting that my love language is words. So in contrast this also means that the way to hurt me most is through words.

It’s January 3, and for the second time in this New Year I sit crying. I sit in my prayer chair, typing on my laptop as the tears stream down my face. So why tears today?

It’s all about the words…words spoken plainly, unguarded and matter-of-factly from a teen or from a mom struggling with dementia. Harsh words from people I adore absolutely kill my heart. I think back to earlier days when my little girl would run to greet me and throw her arms around me as though I was the greatest gift she had ever received. I remember my mama’s sweet words of love and pride in me….

…when these earthly words are gone…I cry and I doubt who I am.

But as I sit with my eyes closed and tears streaming, I hear Him using His words to woo me, reminding me that I am His and He is mine forever. He assures me of His love for simple me. He affirms my being, He reminds me that He is here IN me now. “Let me hear your words Father”, I breathe. '

You are my child. I created you. I have a plan for you – a future and a hope. Cast your worry on me. I treasure your tears and your heart. I will not forsake you. I will not forsake you. You are my child. I accept you and love you…forever.'

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children on God! And that is what we are!” I John 3:1

PinPrick Christmas?

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 06:57:52 PST

So this morning I was sitting in my prayer chair and forcing myself to “de-Christmas” myself. I know this sounds strange . But my life these last few weeks has had little to do with a Saviour’s birth and MUCH to do with cooking, wrapping, buying, decorating, and stressing over who-is-getting-what-and-will-they-like-it”.

I began thinking about the gift giving and how it is supposed to represent our celebration of the birth of Jesus into our world. We ARE celebrating His magnificent Self coming into our world. What Glory that is for the God of the universe to squeeze Himself into our world.

Ahhh, I thought, I can’t possibly understand what that even means. But, if I could understand His Glory perhaps I could better understand my great need for a Saviour. Isn’t that our problem in the world…we don’t really think we need a Saviour. We’ve got it “under control”.

So how can we even start to understand His Glory, His great Light to the world? Think with me.

Did your mama ever tell you: “Don’t look directly at the sun, cause you’ll go blind!” Or have you ever been driving west at 2 or 3 in the afternoon and get blinded by the sun? It’s just so very intense and bright it hurts your eyes to look at it? It’s too much for me. So out come my polarized sunglasses and down goes the sun visor. I need help to see. The light is too much. It’s overwhelming.Now, have you ever heard of pinprick art? This is an art project where you punch pin holes in black paper and then tape it to a sun-filled window and let the filtered sun shine through the holes. The sun finds the little openings and floods through creating a pattern…just tiny bits of light shine through.

With all my hustling and bustling, have I forgotten the overwhelming sunlight, the Glory of Jesus squeezing Himself into a human birth? The great Glory of God…coming into our little world?

And, have I begun to settle for a pinprick Christmas….just a glimpse of the Glory? His glory shone round about…and they were afraid or overwhelmed or in awe. Am I overwhelmed by this great light this Christmas? This Glory came into the world for me and you and you and you!

Do I want a pinprick Christmas or a full-sun, Glory-filled Christmas? Look at this short verse below:

An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  Luke 2:8-10

Glory of the Lord, I wondered. His Glory shone round about them and they were amazed, overwhelmed, in awe, thankful and relishing in His coming.

Happy Birthday, my Jesus, the Glory is You.

Home for Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:42:10 PST

One of my favorite Christmas songs is, I’ll be home for Christmas

♪♫ I’ll be home for Christmas, you can count on me. Please have snow and mistletoe and presents on the tree. Christmas Eve will find me where the lovelight gleams; I’ll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams. ♫♪

Humming this tune for the last several weeks has brought to mind many people who will be traveling home for Christmas. Those who even now are planning and packing and anticipating the love and joy their arrival will create.

I remember the loneliness of long nights at the campus library wanting nothing more that to be home experiencing Christmas with my family. I remember the excitement of finals ending and being on the road headed home for Christmas break. My son is coming home for Christmas. I haven’t seen him since August so yes, I’m thrilled, nervous and anticipating all at the same time! I’m anticipating long talks, great laughs, and a celebration of the Saviour being born. A Saviour that heals broken hearts.

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hummed a tune as they traveled the long road from Nazareth to Bethlehem. Their anticipation was quite different than ours. They didn’t know what was ahead. Their journey was inconvenient, mandated by the law, a very difficult journey on foot (or riding on donkey) for a pregnant woman. Just imagine…..not so much humming, I’m thinking. But oh, the splendor they would encounter. Oh, the joy of that one night. The Saviour was on the way. A Saviour that paves the way.

I wonder about Lily…Lily with the big smile and sweet giggle…a friend who also has gone home for Christmas. I know she was anticipating the joy of going home, the joy of seeing her husband and son after many months. Her journey was difficult for it is a long plane ride from Tuscaloosa to China. She left today and arrives tomorrow – a really long journey. She returns to China with gifts and stories to tell. This visiting scholar returns with a newness for her profession and a newness of knowledge.

I remember one day in our English class when we were studying a writing from the Psalms. The Chinese students were practicing pronunciation and understanding of the text. Lily was shy at first and her English was very difficult to understand but she kept repeating a word. “Laud, Loll, Load, Lo”….finally, I understood….”Lord! Lord”! “Yes”, I said. Lily told me then that she had met Jesus. She knew Him. She had met the Saviour.

This Christmas will be different for Lily. This is the first Christmas that she knows her Saviour. This is the first Christmas she is anticipating a true celebration. She’s going home for Christmas to bring the Saviour to her family. She’s not filling a Christmas list of unnecessary items, I bet she’s humming a song celebrating and anticipating the Saviour’s birth.

I want to hum this song too.

Hustle Bustle

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:09:49 PST

Some of you know that I have two children, a son who is 22 and a daughter who is 17. My daughter is in her senior year of high school. (For those of you, who have raised a high-school senior daughter, you may now stop and pray for me….that I not torture her, disown her or continuously cry until her graduation in May!)

Thus far this senior year has felt a bit like the holidays. All hustle and bustle, deadlines, applications due, celebrations, money needed, invitations ordered, gifts, gowns, going, going and going. On November 23, we were having such a morning. And in all the hustle and bustle tempers flared, words were exchanged, doors slammed and she was gone. Ugh…motherhood!!! I went straight for my coffee and quiet time. I furiously opened my devotional book and read these words:

“Entrust your loved ones to me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. When you release loved ones to me, you are free to cling to my hand.”₁

What soothing and convicting words for my heart and spirit. Oh, Lord you meet me exactly where I am. In and amongst all the struggling to live life, you have gone before me and are waiting for me. How glorious is this knowledge for me.

That evening I couldn’t wait to share this devotional with Ray. While I was cooking our dinner I explained the morning drama with our daughter then handed him my little devotional book and said, “Now look at today’s devotional.” He read in silence for a few moments and then said, “Honey, I’m sorry but I don’t see how this relates.” So I began my pious spiritual babble and he interrupts me and says, “Kat, that’s not even close to what this says.” Frustrated now, I go over to him and get the book and begin to read…it’s totally NOT the devotional I read. November 23 was a devotional about Thanksgiving…We finally found MY devotional from that morning…it was dated AUGUST 23. What???? That morning, I had deliberately gone to today’s date, or so I thought.

I know in my hustle and bustle, I turned to the wrong date BUT I also know God had a finger in my devotional book. Once I stopped.....He was there. He led me to read those words from August 23, the perfect words for my day and my heart.

In our hustle and bustle in December, I fear I will leave Him behind somewhere. In the cooking, and decorating, and gift buying, Jesus will be left out. In my frantic to-do list, He’ll take a back seat. As our duties multiply this month let’s remember that all He desires is our hearts and our time with Him. Get your coffee, your devotional book and Bible and see what He has for you to read – you will find Him!

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

1 Excerpt from, Jesus is Calling, Sarah Young

Kitchen Duty

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:57:36 PST

Thanksgiving approaches and regardless of your family traditions, foods or gathering time we have a lot in common…a lot of food to eat, football games, casseroles, family we love, family we tolerate, dirty dishes, kitchen duty and a Martha. Martha is the one who keeps it all rolling – she’s the one orchestrating the gathering. She’s the one serving.

You remember Martha in the Bible:

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman, named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. Luke 10:38-39

And then again in John 11:20-22, 27

When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. “Lord, “ Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”

“Yes, Lord, she told him, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.”

Don’t you think that Martha of the Bible has always seemed to be on the negative side of sermons? But I love Martha. Look at her anew in this scripture. She served. Yes, she was distracted and complained about her sister but she also went out to meet Jesus. She didn’t wait for Him to come to her she went out to find Him and talk to Him. She presented her grief, worry and concern to Him but then proclaimed, "yes, you are the Christ, the Son of God".

I remember when I was a young girl we would have the big Thanksgiving meal at my mama and daddy’s house. There were a lot of us, which always meant a lot of dishes. My mama always cooked many, many different foods, which meant a lot of pots and pans to wash, and no dishwasher!! Yuck! As my sisters and I gathered in the kitchen we were assigned duties and always noticed some family members made themselves disappear when clean up began! We grumbled and complained but our mama kept serving and serving seeming not to notice who was helping and who was sitting. Her only goal was serving. Her only goal was to go out of her way and offer love.

I want to serve without complaining on Thanksgiving Day and in every day I live. I want to run out and meet Jesus on Thanksgiving morning and proclaim, YOU are Christ, the Son of God. Use me to serve my family, use me to serve those who don’t know you, use me to offer your love, use me in the kitchen and in my home and in my workplace, and in my school. Use me with the unlovable. Use me amongst the dirty dishes.

This Thanksgiving, I’ll see you in the kitchen!

P.S. Our family "Martha" is named Pat. She serves our family continuously, without complaint, every day of the year. She serves our ill Mama/Meemaw in unceasing ways and in overwhelming hours. She loves me well. She loves my children and my husband. And I bet our family of 30+ people all feel this same special care from her. She has run out to meet Jesus and proclaim His name and we, her family, have felt that blessing through her serving each and every one of us. Thank you Pat, for letting us see and know Jesus through you.

The Bystanders

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:58:23 PST

Remember the movie, Field of Dreams….Build it and they will come?? Well, last Saturday night they came… I sat amongst 101,000 screaming people in a football stadium in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. It was quite an experience especially when coupled with the additional 90,000 people outside the stadium expressing just as much enthusiasm but without tickets to enter. Our team played well and lost but the screaming thousands offered all they had in the way of encouragement.

A few days later, the randomness of my mind began thinking of all the days, nights and Saturdays I’ve spent in and around a ball field. Cold Saturday mornings, supporting my son’s peewee soccer team or Friday nights sitting on hard bleachers supporting my daughter’s cheer leading efforts. And the fact that my husband and I have always worked in higher education has led to attending many athletic events. In thinking about these times, I honestly don’t recall many specific games but I have an unwavering memory of the crowds and the cheers and the excitement. I can remember being in Humphrey Coliseum and not able to hear the person next to me speak as thunderous cheering overtook. The decibel level in Bryant Denny stadium Saturday night was compared to jet airliners and thunderclaps!

We, the bystanders, watch and cheer and encourage. Our job is to never get discouraged, to bolster, and to continuously support the players even if the team falters or becomes fatigued.

And the team….how does this loud encouragement affect them? Surely, the cheering instills courage and confidence. I think back to our football game on Saturday and the 22 players running plays were certainly holding our attention. It’s got to be an overwhelming feeling to be on the field and be the object of all this cheering and encouragement. How could your heart not just burst out of your chest? The excitement level must be intense to control.

But what about the players standing on the sidelines who were waiting for their name or number to be called. Obviously, they too were aware of the massive sounds and cheers. To be on this team you are a good, and possibly great player but just not the stars….and yet, the cheers showed no bias. The cheers were for all the team. The cheers were to encourage the strong, the visible, the advertised but they were also there to encourage the young, the unknown, the mistake-prone, and the ones who had not yet played. But the crowd around the stadium only saw the whole team, the effort, and the desire. They yelled: Roll, Go, You can do it, be encouraged, we are FOR you, we adore you, we are here for you…

The sheer joy and passion people have for their team is intriguing to me.

Hebrews 12:1
Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? (The Message)

As for us, we have this large crowd of witnesses around us. (Good News Translation)Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. (New Living Translation)

Do you hear them? If we humans can make loud cheering noise just imagine what the host of heavenly bystanders can do and is right now doing for you and me! They are cheering and urging us on for we too have been given a game plan…GO...Go find those who do not know. How can we not feel empowered and electrified by the heavenly crowd surrounding us? You and I may not consider ourselves the star players but the heavenly bystanders cheer for us just the same. The cheers are to encourage the strong, the visible, the advertised but they are also there to encourage the young, the unknown, the mistake-prone, and the ones who haven’t yet played. That's me! Is it you?

Listen! They're yelling your name...Go, we're for you, you can do this!

The Queen

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 13:37:15 PDT

Do you remember that girl in your high school class that won all the beauty pageants, homecoming votes, and most everything votes? That wasn’t me and I daresay it wasn’t you as those people are rare – I mean there is just one prize and many of us. My friend tells me she was never the rose-carrying, crown wearing winner but always nominated!! It was her best friend who always won! So true for many of us…

…so a month ago when a young girl I know was crowned Homecoming Queen, it was delightful for my friend and me to hold her roses! We wanted to wear the crown but resisted snatching it off her beautiful head :)! The celebration was outstanding that evening. Hundreds of hugs and congratulations were heard and felt. So many mega-watt smiles and pictures were taken – all of us wanting to be pictured with the Queen. This precious girl is loved by many and had a night of nights that will long be remembered.

There was another girl in the stadium that night. She too, was excited about Homecoming, the celebration and the dance. She too was thrilled when the Queen and King were announced. It was a grand night for her and her friends. But this girl was more invisible than the Queen. This girl had been sliding away for several years, present but distant. Good friends she had known her whole life were remote from her and she from them. She had changed; they had changed.

The night wore on with loud music, laughter, dancing, tears, fears, choices, pictures, whispers, kisses and finally home to bed. Exhausted.

When morning broke the Queen’s crown was thrown aside, the dress lay crumpled on the floor, the flowers in water but wilting. The quiet girl woke in her home with her mom at her side. Confused, troubled and safe. Homecoming was over and new paths lay ahead as bad choices had been made. Paths that now needed the comfort of friends. Would anyone reach out to her? Would anyone notice her need for friends? Her dress lay crumpled on the floor, her high heels thrown off, and the invisible ‘crown’ of this sweet girl lay broken at her feet. Our choices can do that to us and will.

It’s so very easy for me to get caught up in the celebration of today that I lose sight of those around me who are hurting. I often forget that the crowns we receive in this life are all going to melt away. The crowns, the roses, the dresses, the beautiful homes, the great careers….all gone. But the people…the people we encounter have an eternal choice. It’s so easy to overlook those who are difficult to love or those who look different from me. I love the pomp and circumstance of being around the Queen and her celebrants but I learned that weekend that the true gift of love comes from those anonymous times we offer and give love to those who have been rejected or cast away. It’s when we act and no one sees. It’s when we give and no one knows….it’s how Jesus loves you and me. He loves the quiet ones, the downcast, the different, the non-popular, the ones who hurt, and the ones who make silly decisions. Can I love like that? Can I be Jesus to someone today?

The next day, the quiet girl still full of confusion and pain received a visitor. The new Homecoming Queen stopped by for a visit. She knew her friend was in pain. Gone was the crown, the fancy dress, the beautiful roses and all that remained was a Love given by our God, our KING, to live out in real life.

Thank you, Lord for living through this little queen.

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:3-4

Momma’s Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 16:58:24 PDT

This week I walked into my momma’s room and she was asleep. I stood before her in silence expecting her to sense my presence. She did not. As I approached her I touched her arm and she opened her light-green eyes. Momma's eyes have loved on me for 53 years. And I have to say her eyes have actually adored me, spoiled me, showed me unconditional love, laughed with me and cried with me. But today those same eyes looked at me and did not know me.

I sat with my momma for several hours today. At times, we sat in silence and at times we sat in a confused state of meaningless words. But what a great day because she was there and so was I.

I often have this same experience in my own mind and heart: either I have no words to speak or too many words to get out of my head. It seems I’m either sitting before the Lord in silence or babbling to Him in concentric circles. Is this old age? Or is this just life with a husband recently out of the hospital, a sick and elderly momma, full-color life with a high school Senior, and life with a son in college 1000 miles away? Is this just my condition? I think we all have this malady on occasion. And recently I’ve come to believe it’s a blessing.

Last night, I lay in bed and listened…to the silence. I literally heard no sound at all other than the sound of me…my breath, that funny sound in our ears when all around us is silent, a random dog bark, a house creak…beautiful silence.

But there are times when my head feels as though thoughts rush and race at a frantic pace, fighting for my attention, refusing to slow down, and in such a hurry they bump and tumble into each other. My times of prayer become a race around the world of thought with no clear sentence or thought sequence seemingly able to reach to throne room of God.

And it’s in these days I remember,

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.

There is no right or wrong, good or bad in my thoughts offered to God or in my silence offered to God, words or no words. Do I love sitting with my momma in silence? Yes. Do I love listening to my momma talk in circles? Yes. I love it because she’s my momma and I’m her girl. She’s mine and I’m hers which is all that matters.

So it is with our God. Silence or babbling. He’s mine and I’m His…beautiful.

Be Desperate

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 22:00:02 PDT

Several years ago, Michael W. Smith released a song that I love…Breathe. The lyrics are unique:

this is the air I breathe

Your holy presence living in me

this is my daily bread

Your very word spoken to me

And I, I'm desperate for you

And I, I'm lost without you

And I, I'm desperate for you

Over the last several years, I’ve met people from China. Some of these friends are students at the University of Alabama and some I met while visiting China. Many of these people have yet to become Christ-followers. Many have never heard the gospel, the Good News.

But of those dear Chinese friends who have heard the saving news of Jesus and have chosen to follow Him, they live their lives full out, following Jesus….they will never be the same! They remember how very desperate they were to hear the news of a Saviour. Perhaps it is because these people have come from a place lacking hope. Throughout the world, people live in societies with no knowledge of God or hope of a future in eternity or of a God-love.

So when these people hear, learn and meet Jesus they are forever changed. Their lives of desperation become lives of hope. Every day is a new day of eternal life. They have known and lived in great need and they do not forget the state of their hearts before they met Jesus. They’ve heard the Good News and it has become the Fantastic News, the Overwhelming News, The Life-Changing-Tell-Others-News.

These Christ-followers from China and other places in the world are different from me and perhaps, you. Do you see? They came to end of themselves. They had been to the place of death, darkness, and hopelessness and found their Saviour.

Over the past months of blogging, I’ve received emails with these words:

“Don’t be so hard on yourself”

“You judge yourself too harshly”

“Be gentle with yourself”

I’m not being too hard on myself. I’m trying to remember my state, my desperation before Jesus came into my being. Yes, my Saviour has redeemed me. Through Him, I have been made anew. But, lest I never forget that I am broken, I live in a culture where there is no hope….I want to stay desperate for Jesus. I want my life to be lived out with the Fantastic News, the Overwhelming News, The Life-Changing-Tell-Others-News of hope and redemption.

For if I’m NOT desperate for Him…what am I desperate for? Am I relying on myself, on my ability, on my achievements, on my education, on my career, on my children, on my smarts?

It’s only in recognition of my great need that I fully see Him. I see how desperate I am for a Saviour…

this is the air I breathe

Your holy presence living in me

And I, I'm lost without you

And I, I'm desperate for you

Are You Rich?

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 11:20:25 PDT

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? Have you noticed that sometimes it’s the most random song and maybe not even one you especially like! So this story I share today has been rolling and rolling around in my head for the last few weeks.

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’ ”

“Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. Mark 10:15-22

I’m fifty-three years old and have been a Christ-follower since I was in the 7^th grade. I’ve attended bible study, developed a prayer life, been in fellowship with other believers, gone on mission trips, served in local outreach, loved my husband, parents, children and my fellow man. But I am the young man in this scripture reading.

I feel winded as I run up to Jesus and fall on my knees. “What must I do”, I cry out. I’ve done these things that build me up spiritually, things that make me devout and more Christ-like, I think. But today, today I feel empty. Today my mind and heart are in search for the next answer as this one I’m living seems just off the mark somehow.

I hear your answer, “sell everything you have, give to the poor, then come follow me”. So I’ve been thinking about what I have as I too am “rich” in many things. Is it true that you want to use all these things for others to come to know you? Is that part of your plan? If so...I can offer all of the following: a broken spirit and broken children. My role in motherhood has fractured occasionally. I have regrets. I’ve hurt those I love. I have a heart accepting your love and needing more of your love. I have many earthly “things” that surround me or overwhelm me and disguise my need for You. I have a house with plenty of bedrooms to share and plenty of food to share. I have a life with plenty of time to share. I have Hope as you are Saviour. I have ideas and dreams that revolve around your dreams for me and for your world. I have a heart aching to be used by you in this day. Can I sell all of that or just give it all to you? Can you use it? Could you use me?

I do not want to go away sad because I have great wealth and can’t let it go. I want to join you, Lord, and follow you. So, joyfully, what you have given me is what I give back to You today!

The Gift

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 17:09:42 PDT

The father sat down his grown children and said, “I want to talk with you for five minutes. I have something to give you”. The young adults looked nervously at each other as the dad continued, “You both are on rigorous journeys this year. You’ve come a long way but this year will be one of challenge, change and growth. I wanted to give you something to help you know the truth. This is a gift from me, your dad. I handpicked each one for you. It was my decision in every way but only with you in mind. If you do not like this gift or are not ready to use it, it’s ok, I can wait”.

With those words he stepped forward and gave each of his children a name engraved, leather study Bible. These were not their first Bibles but they seemed to represent a newness I’d not before seen. He was acknowledging each of them and their special place in his heart and their special place in this world and his dream for each of them.

They received the gift differently…one was eager and exclaiming joy, excitement and thanks. The other was silent. This young adult was gently touching and rubbing the outer leather and slowly looking through the pages. The words that came were humble, honest and quiet, “Thank you for this but I’m not sure I’m ready for this yet. For you see, I know of people hurt by those who believe in these words. Dear friends of mine have been judged, condemned, and cast out by people claiming these words. How can that be?”

How can that be indeed? When have I or am I that person who condemns or casts out people by their looks, their choices, their zip code?

I went to China in May and found myself surrounded by millions of people. People our North American culture would consider poor and unsophisticated…not up to our standards. My daughter was in Haiti in July and experienced a people also impoverished with struggles different from you and me. They want and need clean water…plumbing, education.

In these travels we found the people interesting, we took pictures with them, we offered them trinkets from our great country. We gave and served without thought, without judgment. We loved the unlovely. We loved the impoverished; we served when we were long tired and exhausted. Are those travels different from my day today? Was I in mission-trip mode so the serving came easy? Have I received the Book from my Father and accepted it with joy and delight and live it accurately? Or have I received the Book and lived a life that is not reflective of the Book? Have I read the Book but lived a life of judgment and condemnation?

When our family evening was ending, one of our children said, “I want to serve. I want to be the one that welcomes the stranger and hangs out with him after the meeting. I want to make him feel that my time is all his and not be worried about what I’m missing with my friends. It’s that person who lives this Book.”

And our heavenly Father says to us today:

“I want to talk with you for five minutes. I have something to give you”. You are on a rigorous journey this year. You’ve come a long way but this year will be one of challenge, change and growth. I want to give you something to help you know the truth. This is a gift from me, your Dad. I handpicked each one for you. It was my decision in every way but only with you in mind. If you do not like this gift or are not ready to use it, it’s ok, I can wait”.

Oh Me, Oh My!

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:10:08 PDT

Years ago, our Sunday School class decided to study, Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I was looking forward to the study until I opened the book and the first sentence in the very first chapter read, ‘It’s not about you’. Stunned and convicted and the study had not yet begun! Oh me, Oh my. That book study was at least 15 years ago and yet here I sit today reminded of those words and convicted again.

I was shopping with my 17-year-old daughter this week which is always fun and can be challenging. At one point in our day she said, “Mom, you’re like the most sensitive person I’ve ever met. Everything I say you take out of context”. Now you may recognize that this was not one of our better moments that day but it has been a good reminder to me of my condition of ‘self’.

She was right…I have a tendency to hear words, or not enough words, or not the right words and if they are not to my liking I can feel myself literally shut down. Shut down my love and shut down my availability to people. I just stop….get stuck and let the itty-bitty committee that lives in my head start re-hashing every word! I live as though it is 'all about me'! My insecure sensitivity has it’s way with me….I hate that!

I need a Hearing Aid. And I have one and you have one….hear these words:

They are the shoot I have planted, the work of my hands, for the display of my splendor.   Isaiah 60:21

OK, I know you really didn’t read that verse so go back and read it again slowly...I’ll wait…….........YOU are the ‘work of His hands’ and through you HIS splendor will be displayed today! He has saved us. He lives inside us. He is the only one who completes us. He has redeemed you and your story and all your pain.

I lift my eyes to the hills, Oh where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the MAKER of heaven of earth. Psalm 121:1

Oh me, Oh my, Oh my GOD. Thank you.

So is that all? We're redeemed, we're healed, we're loved, we have Life eternal. Oh me, Oh my. Who do you know that hasn't heard this truth? Who is dying to see HIS splendor in their life and in their purpose? Who is shut down by their own pain?What is your logical next step to follow Jesus into our hurting world today?

Oh me, Oh my.

The Longing

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 18:19:25 PDT

July 4 is a big celebration in my family. And again this year, we gathered at my sister’s home in Jackson, Mississippi. Our attending family was something like this: 20 adults, 8 teenagers, 4 elderly, 1000 children (oh, sorry typo!) 10 children, and one infant. We ate, we cleaned the kitchen, we swam, we fished, we ate some more, we cleaned more dishes, we laughed, we looked at pictures, we ate, we slept very little, we ate, we washed dishes again, we cried, we talked about nothing, we talked from the heart, we got frustrated, we ate, we prayed, we churched together and we ate again. It was wonderful, messy, loving family days…..but yet….

….some were not among us. The names I longed to see were: Carolyn, Meme, Stephanie, Nick, Sarah, Josh, Jonathan, Mary Ashton, and Scott. So as wonderful as the family days were for all they were incomplete as our entire family was not with us. Yes, we had fun but our hearts held a place for those unable to attend. We longed for them that weekend.

In the story of the Prodigal son, the Father longed for his son to come home. As the son arrives home, the Father embraces him and orders a grand celebration. But the older brother who never left home and has remained obedient has a very different feeling at his brother’s arrival and the planned celebration. Look at these words from the story:

‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

“ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ “ Luke 15:29-31

Today, my burden is the elder son in me. I see God welcoming home the foreigner and I know I’m called to what God is doing in the world but still I choose to not be a part of it? God is throwing a party for the people of world who come to know Him and I’m standing on the porch of eternity asking him, “Why”? Have I yet to grasp that ‘God so loved THE WORLD’ and not just my little, tiny world? Do I not realize that I am or have been the prodigal son too? He’s welcomed us home. Now, let’s help Him throw a really big party for those who have yet to meet Him!

Just like our July 4^th celebration, we celebrated with all those who were there but desperately missed those who had conflicts. Ours hearts KNEW we had loved ones absent. We wanted our entire family together, in that place, as one. We longed for them.

God’s heart KNOWS all his children aren’t home yet and He longs for each one to come. God calls everyone my brother and my sister. He calls the people of China, my brother. He calls the people of Haiti, my sister….He longs for all….each one to come home….Create in me your heart for the world, Father. Amen.

Around the World on the Riverbank

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:04:41 PDT

On April 18, I was invited to go on a ten-day vision and mission trip to China….."no way", I replied. On April 19, the invitee kept the pressure on me by bringing God and Ray into it! (It was 3 to 1 and a very powerful three, I might add). Amongst my thoughts were: Seriously? No way! The timing is not good! It's way too expensive. My Sarah needs me, it’s the end of school. God cleared away all the excuses....

On May 19 I left for China! I returned on May 30. On June 1, I left for Texas. I returned to Tuscaloosa on June 8. Twenty-one days: Birmingham, Chicago, Beijing, Xi’an, Chengdu, Texas: Fort Worth, Round Rock, Austin, San Antonio, Leakey, Boerne, Longview, Jackson, MS and finally Tuscaloosa. Whew!

Upon my return, friends have asked me, “How was China?” How was your trip to Texas?” My words to describe the last month are stuck somewhere between Beijing and Leakey! Both trips were amazing filled with wonder, love, laughter, serving, sharing and many, many people. People wanting to be loved, accepted, understood and searching. There is so much to share about China, I search for the words.

So recently, I gave myself a gift….I went away again, this time to a park in Tuscaloosa. I sat on a large boulder on the riverbank and just existed a while. The wind rustled through the trees, the river kept its constant flow and movement, the ants marched around my feet and there was silence and He was there. He came quietly and waited for me. He was listening if I shared my feelings or understanding when I was silent. He did not demand anything of me – it was the time of worship He treasured. He reminded me of finding Him in the quiet places.

How could the God of universe, the God who woos China to Himself, the God who hurts with the people of Nepal, Haiti and beyond, the God who walks with Sarah at a summer camp in Leakey, Texas, the God who canoes with my redeemed, prodigal son in Nashville, the God who loves and serves through the self-lessness of my husband, Ray come to a river bank in Tuscaloosa just to be beside me? How can that be?

Find your own riverbank this week. He waits for you.

In the Storm

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Sun, 15 May 2011 12:47:29 PDT

We met four years ago in English Class. He immediately engaged us with his quick smile and laugh. It's absolutely true that among the English tutors he was a "favorite". We met weekly for English class, often had lunch, he ate in our home and even helped us move furniture on several occasions. We attended his graduation ceremony as he received his first Masters degree. He was not a Christ-follower and we had many interesting conversations throughout the years. But even though he had not yet made a decision of faith, I knew this friend was surrounded by other Christians pouring into his life.

The tornado that hit Tuscaloosa on April 27 was devastating as has been reported. We are a mere 18 days into the clean up that will take several years to complete. I dare-say most every citizen in Tuscaloosa has been a part of some recovery effort. It's been quite amazing to experience the service offered by so many people. One after-effect of the tornado has been the scheduling at the University of Alabama. Classes were called off and the semester deemed completed just days after the storm hit. Students left to go home and summer began early in T-town.

One day last week I realized this dear student might have already left for China as his academic study had been completed! It felt as though a son was leaving home and I hadn't said goodbye! I frantically emailed him and got no response. Days passed and still no message. Then finally an email popped up and it told me he was indeed still here and was leaving soon - could we meet?

We met on Tuesday as he was leaving for China on Wednesday. I anticipated a teary good-bye as I knew in all probability I would never see him again. When he arrived and we sat to chat I noticed his hands were scarred up. In asking him about this he told me he had been working in the tornado cleanup all week. Every afternoon for the last five days he had been working hard labor to clean off people's property. He spoke of the difficulty of the work and the heat and the people he met. He talked of people approaching the workers with free food and water....he was astounded. He talked of homeowners and their utter thanksgiving that their lives had been spared even as they stood on only the foundations of their former homes. He spoke of their utter loss of everything yet they gave thanks and prayed to God. Now he was really astounded. We spoke of 'bad things that happen to good people', we spoke of God's power, we spoke of those who were saved.

After a while, I asked him if he had yet made a decision to trust God with his life? "No, not yet," he replied. Why not today?, I asked him. After all you've seen, do you think God is calling out to you? After all you've learned of the Bible...is it time? Why don't you pray today?

We had this loving type of conversation before and he had always said, "I'm not ready" but that day, he said, "will you help me pray for I don't know the words". I was stunned. But there we sat in a TCBY, holding hands....a young Chinese man and a 50 year old woman praying to the God of the storm, to the God of the universe. As our prayer ended, he continued on his own. He confessed his need, his brokenness, his great desire to walk with God.

The tornado destroyed so many homes, business and lives. But some of those people who stood and praised God amidst the storm touched a young man's life. And he will never be the same. We will meet up in the heavenlies. I can't wait for you to meet him, his name is Shaw.

that in the name of Jesus every knee may bow -- of heavenlies, and earthlies, and what are under the earth --
and every tongue may confess that Jesus Christ [is] Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:10-11

Would I?

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:41:12 PDT

Saturday night honored a young man for a year of accomplishment. Friends and family gathered. She came into the room looking disheveled and unkempt. She appeared older than the crowd gathered. She was easily in her 50’s but looked older. Something wasn’t quite right with her. It was obvious her journey had been difficult. She sat alone.

As the meeting progressed, an invitation was given for those who would like to share their struggle. Silence lingered for a bit. Out of the entire crowd gathered, the young, the nice-looking, the nicely dressed...only one person spoke. The woman. She spoke of her recent struggle and the hope she now claimed. She spoke of her illness and the years of struggle. Then, she looked at the young man being honored that night and thanked him for accepting her and encouraging her. His welcome and acceptance of her had led her to a new hope.

Why would such a young man go out of his way to welcome this woman? How and why would he have shown such acceptance of her?

Sunday morning, hundreds of miles away, another young man entered an unknown church for Easter services. His clothes were not appropriate for Easter Sunday services but it was all he had. The work clothes protected him from fire and ash, which was his current duty. He appeared younger than the crowd gathered. He was in his 30’s but looked older that day. Emotionally, his heart had been recently broken and physically his body was tired and strained from fighting forest fires. It was obvious his journey had been difficult. He sat alone.

As the service ended, a woman approached him and invited him home for Easter lunch. He was a stranger to her…. a complete stranger. How could the lady have known his great need for a companionship and a home-cooked meal? How was she so brave to invite him? How did she know to love him?

Jesus was in town. A very respected local pastor invited him to have dinner in his home. It was a special invitation for those gathered and only the most influential church members were invited. But somehow one lone woman had also boldly attended and was in the dining room. She was disheveled and unkempt. She appeared more “street wise” than the others attending. She was easily in her 50’s but looked older. Something wasn’t quite right with her. It was obvious her journey had been difficult. She did not sit alone but sat at Jesus' feet and He welcomed her. He loved her, He bragged on her. (Luke 7:36-48)

Would I? Could I? Will I? Or will I judge by outward appearance and discount a person’s worth? Would I speak a word of hope into her life? Would I invite him to my home?

How have I boxed up and locked up Jesus’ love to just include my little ‘vanilla’ world?

360° View

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 23:27:11 PDT

One recent Sunday, we came in a bit late and chose seats quickly. Our daughter came in after us. She immediately, asked me, “Why are we sitting here? We don’t usually sit here. Can we move?”

"No, we’re fine", I replied.

A few minutes later, “Mom, really, this is not where we sit”.

She was distracted and I was distracted. It took me the entire service to work through not being distracted. Clearly, the message that day was lost to me. We merely sat in a different place yet she and I were completely distracted.

It’s reminded me of how easily distracted I can become… a phone call, a good book, Facebook, my favorite TV shows; they all call to me and distract my mind. I know general life issues distract me from the needs in our world because I’m so focused on the needs in my little 360° world. And recently, a bigger distraction has been revealed to me.

My son and I recently visited Texas Tech University as a possibility for his enrollment this fall. This University offers a nation-leading Center for the Study of Addition and Recovery. One evening, as I arrived to pick up our small group of young men, I came up to the Center where a large group had just dismissed from a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. The young adults were standing outside talking, laughing and visiting. I waited in our 15-passenger van and just watched the scene. It was a group of college kids. Some looked like typical college students and some looked like….well, rather radical-looking college students. There were lots of tattoos and long hair. I saw Nick. He’s tall so he’s easy to spot. Plus his long, curly hair is really easy to spot!

I thought, “Why can’t he cut his hair? Why did he get another tattoo? Yes, I know it reads, “Psalms 23” but still”….it’s so foreign to me. Here I was a southern woman, nicely coiffed and ironed, nails done, lipstick in place looking at this group of recovering addicts. This is not what I dreamed of and hoped for my son. I wanted a perfect little life with perfect little children. All of us dressed in ironed khakis, polo shirts and cute dresses and probably wearing white gloves !! This picture is NOT the real world. So yes, I caught myself being distracted by the way people look. I should have been seeing a group of recovering addicts who were celebrating the mercy of God and the fact of redemption in their lives. These people celebrate every day that they are alive and blessed! Their faith in the midst of recovery is huge and authentic and palatable.

I am SO very shallow and my son has taught me that. So often I only see the outside. Forgive me, Lord. Why can’t I see the heart of people? Why am I stuck on the outside view? A great looking outside means absolutely nothing, I KNOW that is a truth but continually find myself distracted by the external.

How very sad and sick I am. We’re all addicts because we’re all broken inside. It’s the world, my view, my image, it’s our 360° view.

I’m going to be shocked when I see Jesus because He’s not going to look like my image of Him. Again, again, again….my son…my hope…my Jesus…take the MY out of me Lord. Give me eyes to see as You see.

GoodBye

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 14:31:55 PDT

Goodbyes are not my strong suit. If the truth be known, I hate saying a final goodbye to those I love. Oh, I know it’s not final-forever but when people leave my everyday world it feels awfully final to me. My husband tells me that I’m one of those ‘touchy-feely’ types that feels down to our toes. Hmmm, I don’t take offense to his observation as I know it’s true. I laugh big and I cry big.

Years ago, we said our first goodbye when we left our native Mississippi to move to Texas. That move away from all our family just about killed me! But we fell in love with Corpus Christ and I knew we would retire in that place. Twelve years later, we were again saying goodbye to people who influenced us in ways we’ll never forget. This goodbye from Texas was actually difficult beyond words. I still miss our days there. But we settled in at Mississippi State and loved our new world. Three years later, we were moving again…to Tuscaloosa. We said goodbye to more beloved friends.

So here we are four years later and we are still new in town and meeting a lot of people. However, in the last month I’ve had to tell two very dear friends goodbye. One goodbye is for the purpose of marriage which is a celebration! This friend will be close by and our common interests and ministries will continue to bind us. Knowing this fact, didn’t prevent the tears….she will be missed in my life.

The other friend goodbye is different. This friend I have known for four years. With him I have shared laughter, tears, grammar, pronunciation, research work, walks with my dog, dinners, lunches, games, holiday festivities and talks of God and Jesus. When he arrived in our country from Taiwan he had not heard of Jesus. I know he sought information, I know he asked many questions, I know he attended many study groups where Jesus was explained. I know he respected the love people had for this Jesus. I know he was curious as to the love he felt from others and it’s source. I know he left the United States with a lot of knowledge but was not yet ready to accept and acknowledge the Good News of Jesus.

I know Jesus is still seeking my friend. I know many of us sowed into his life. I cried when we said goodbye. He cried too. In this case, the goodbye did feel like forever.

Who else needs to hear the Good News? Let’s not ignore the people in our everyday lives who are hurting and in need of a Saviour. Where would you send me Lord?

Pray with me that one day my friend and I will celebrate a heaven-side Hello!

Oh, the Places You'll Go

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 07:51:20 PST

New York City and Eutaw, Alabama are both great places to spend a weekend.

Two weeks ago, we surprised our daughter, Sarah, with a 17th birthday trip to New York. The weekend was amazing and so much fun for a mom and daughter. We did all the “touristy” things – Central Park, Rockefeller City, Staten Island Ferry, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, Broadway, Chinatown, a deli, Greenwich Village and SHOPPING! We flew, walked, boated, rode the subway, took the bus and taxis. I was reminded of Dr. Seuss and his writing, Oh, the Places You'll Go! People were everywhere. People, people, people…Going, going, going.

The following weekend I found myself in a beautiful, quiet country farm home in Eutaw, Alabama. I was one of 62 women attending a church retreat. We laughed, we ate well, we sang, some of us tried to karaoke, we listened, we shared, some cried but we were all in community. Sharing that lovely space and seeking our God and trying to learn more about His great love for us and His healing of us and His call to us.

The contrast of these two weekends is apparent in many respects. But the similarities are striking to me. People seeking, people going, people wondering: what is my purpose? Who cares for me? I’m hurting and in need of a Saviour to heal me and fill me. A Saviour who loves me even while knowing EVERYTHING about me.

We live as though our going and going will find this place of acceptance. If I move here, If I get this job, if I receive this education, if I love and marry, if…..if….When actually, all the going can stop as the Saviour is simply waiting for us to see Him and stop all the self-striving.

There are so many people in New York, in Eutaw, in Tuscaloosa, in Egypt, in China, in Haiti, in Corpus Christi, in Fort Worth, in Russia, in Atlanta, in Starkville, in Nepal, in Sudan….waiting and striving to hear.

Who will tell them? Is it you? Or me? YES, it’s us. Let’s run to tell this Good News.

Excerpt from Oh, the Places You'll Go! Dr. Seuss

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

So I pray: Lord, in this city where I live, I profess to know you and love you. I go to church and even teach Sunday School. I sing praises to you. I seek your wisdom for my life and my family. But now I realize I don’t see those around me who are waiting. Waiting to hear about you, waiting to know your touch and your love. Give me eyes to see, give me your heart to love. Who is waiting in my world?

Trapped in my Driveway

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 08:02:09 PST

True confession time. How many of us, when hearing that “the missionaries” were speaking at our church service, decided to skip that week? I confess. I’ve done that! So how would one feel when the pastor of your church AND his wife take a 10-day mission trip to Nepal? Good, right? Until he returns and you begin to hear the sermons of his convictions while in Nepal. I think these sermons will make me squiggle in my seat. Nepal? Where is Nepal?

I have a dear, young friend who is 21 years old and she’s fluent in Russian. She’s a committed woman of God, she’s a committed college student. She’s brilliant. Her whole life lies in front of her and the possibilities are endless! She moved to Russia last month! She is driven to love the people of Russia with the love of Jesus. The quote on her blog reads, “To love as the Russian soul loves, is to love not with the mind or anything else, but with all that God has given, all that is within you”. Russia? Seriously?

I’m squiggling more! Is Jesus calling me to move across the world? Perhaps. But most immediately, He’s calling me to move out of my driveway. He’s calling me to move out of my neighborhood.

I know another woman who is a servant to many. She has a full-time job but yet leaves her driveway and goes into the Nepals and Russias of her city. Here are some of her acts of service:

A hotel to many travelers

A source of food for dozens of family members and friends all year long

A transportation service for an elderly mom

A medical clinic for the same elderly mom

A 24-hour on-call advisor to medical staff caring for her elderly mom

An encourager and an audience member for dancing granddaughters in 3 different states

A volunteer at a Free Medical Clinic on Saturdays

A volunteer at a weekly Sunday feeding of the homeless

Did I mention that she works for a doctor who never stops? Did I tell you she loves and laughs well? Did I tell you she offers unconditional love and acceptance? Can you tell she loves Jesus? Can you tell she lives for Jesus? Can you tell she serves for Jesus? She left her driveway years ago.

I have another friend who works on the campus of Alabama. I joined her last week to observe. We met two girls in the crowded student center at Starbucks. It was about 11:00 a.m. and students were everywhere. We found a table right in the middle of the room. After the normal chitchat my friend launched into the purpose of the meeting. “So”, she says, “do you have any questions from what we discussed last week”. One of the young girls responded, “I do have questions. Could you explain the difference in the terms Old Testament and New Testament?” As my friend began to explain this very basic division of the Bible, I pondered the simplicity of the question. I pondered the many people in the world who may have this same question.

I looked around the room and saw other faces who might have wanted to hear the answer. I wondered how many countries were represented in Starbucks that day. I pondered that fact that Nepal, Russia and China have come to my city. I don’t have to move to these places; they’ve come to me….and to you.

The road to these places is a very short drive but I’ve got to leave my driveway.

Hear the Words

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 18:55:44 PST

I love words. I love to write them, speak them and hear them. I know my “love language” is words. Many of my memories are wrapped around words. Some of the greatest gifts have been the gift of words from my daddy, my mama, from Ray and from my children. I remember when our kids were babies and we marveled at how the babies recognized our voices so early in their lives. Then, we eagerly awaited their first word…how precious that connection. (Then the twos, the threes and the teen years convinced me that words could be overrated!)

We’ve just survived Winter Formal at our house. It is so fun to have a teen-age girl and to play dress-up. We shopped and shopped for the “right” dress. We shopped for the right shoes, the right earrings, bracelets, and hairstyle. We tanned, we plucked, we had alterations, TWICE alterations, and we talked boutonnieres, curfew, money, and picture taking. We survived intact with a beautiful girl (outside too) and lots of pictures and an on-time curfew!

At the picture-taking location, the kids were gathering and us parents got to show up to play photographer. We arrived a bit early and saw a lot of cars but because it was so dark we couldn’t see who was gathered and waiting for the photos to begin. As we got out of our car, suddenly, our girl was walking towards us, looking radiant. She hesitantly said, “Um, hi. We’re just gathering and y’all are the only parents here; would you just wait in the car until the others parents arrive?” My precious, kind and loving husband said, “Sure, honey!” I on the other hand was speechless. (A God blessing!) We got into our car to wait.

This baby girl who recognized my voice upon her birth, who wanted her mama over anyone else, who held my hand until she was in the fourth grade didn’t want us around in that moment. She knew we were there for her but didn’t want to hear our voices in that moment.

I sat there and actually realized how that scene reminded me of my own relationship with Jesus. There are just times when I don’t really want Him around. I don’t want Him to remind me of how to act or how to love. I choose to not hear His voice! I convince myself that I don’t recognize His voice? But in His grace and love, He keeps standing by my side loving me all the same.

I think I’m really good at hearing the sweet, patient, loving voice of God. But there is another voice of God that I tend to ignore. It’s the one that wants to keep changing me, growing me and sending me. I’m more comfortable with the cooing, soft all-loving voice of the baby Jesus. The adult loving, encouraging, pushing, urging, calling Jesus makes me very uncomfortable. So I choose for my ears not to work on those days.

Some of those commands are just too much for wee me. Go, love, give, serve, be last, wash feet, feed poor, love those who are unlovely. Hmmm....hey Lord, could you just wait in the car?

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.'

"Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink?....

"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' Matthew 25:35-40 selected verses

And He was saying, " He who has ears to hear, let him hear."  Mark 4:8-10

Fix Me

noreply@blogger.com (Kathy Hayes) — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 21:19:54 PST

When our children were small they would often spend a few days of the summer with Nannie. Nannie lives about 5 miles outside a small, rural Mississippi town. For years she lived on a gravel road and that road is so dark at night that you literally canNOT see your hand in front of your face….I doubted this fact once but now I believe (but that’s a whole other story!)

One day when Nick and Sarah were staying with Nannie she rounded them up and into her Cadillac and said, “Come on, we’ve got to run to town. I’ve got to go get my hair fixed.” After about a quarter of mile she heard a small voice from the back seat say, “Nannie, what does that mean…get your hair fixed? Is it broken? How do they fix it?” Later, telling us the story, Nannie could hardly tell us without laughing and giggling. We still hold that story special in our family.

My momma is 86 years old and even if she is ill for the entire week, I promise you her supreme effort will emerge to go the Beauty Shop on Friday to get her hair fixed! It’s a tradition that women hold dear. I was at the hair salon last week, too….getting my hair fixed. I looked around and saw older women, women like me – almost older women, college guys, men, even babies were there that day. It was fun to see a young one getting a first haircut! There is constant activity: chattering, laughing, hair dryers going, water running, scissors snipping, sweeping up, coffee drinking… and one other thing…..time spent slowing down. Time spent letting someone else put there hands on you and fix you - a new you, a better you. We leave those salons and think to ourselves, oh, I feel so much better.

My salon experience is therapeutic in many ways. We laugh, we joke, we even get serious and encourage each other. In fact, last week we cried. My precious stylist was not only working on my hair but she was literally wiping my tear-stained cheeks as well. I was in need of more than a fix for my hair that day. And I still am…aren’t you?

We’re broken and in need of a fix. Our hair gets fixed, our addicted friends are looking for a fix. We cry out in many ways: Fix me.

“If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? John 4:10-11

When Jesus met the woman at the well He knew the depth of her hurt and her need for a fix. She even told Him, “the well is so deep”. My pain, my disappointment, my shame, my hurt, my inadequacy is so deep….there is no fix. But yet, Jesus knew her. He knew all about her and offered Himself to her…just drink of Me.

In this scripture, Jesus says to me: “Let me reach inside of you and fix your broken heart of disappointment and grief. Only I, the King of Kings, has the fix you need and desire. Let me place my hands on you and on your heart. I know you. There is nothing you can tell me or admit to me that I don’t already know AND I love you just the same. I love you as much today as I ever have, will or can. My love for you is total and perfect. Trust me. Drink me in.”