Happy “Everything” from the Tuohys!

Well are you? No matter how much you plan, prepare, prod the spouse or pout the holiday season still makes most of our blood pressure rise sometimes between December first and the twenty fifth!  I have heard of every remedy imaginable to prevent this roller coaster of emotions, but honestly none of them work.

However, now after living over a half of a century, I might just have the cure. I can’t decide whether to bottle it, sell it on QVC or use social media for its distribution. You are one of the lucky ones who I am going to use as research and development (learned that from my husband). You are my test market, guinea pig, so to say! Knowing you are going to get a break from your routine of getting people things they really don’t need should infuse you with a sudden burst of energy and anticipation. It will make the upcoming days not so ho-hum because there is definitely a common thread when buying gifts and that is panic!

While the Holidays are one of life’s yummiest joys, they do often lead to the little discussed affliction of panic, as where to shop, what to buy, who to buy for, how much to spend…Not to mention will they like it, will it fit, do they have one, is it the right color, etc….symptoms usually include sweaty palms, headaches, list making,  misplacing the list, arguing with the spouse, snapping at the children, staring blankly for unknown amounts of time in space not remembering what you were supposed to be doing.

Are you relating to this at all?

Does it ring familiar?

The joy of gift giving isn’t as easy as it sounds. The giddy feeling of putting on Christmas music in the car and leisurely strolling the aisles for the perfect selection isn’t as easy as it initially seemed! Well, let me share the most amazing solution.

As opposed to stressing over what to get, try giving of yourself. One of my favorite Churchill quotes and I use it often is: “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” Most of you have worked a lifetime to make a living. I’m giving you a chance in the next twenty days to make a life! I hope you are as inspired by Churchill’s words as I am.

As we approach the next few weeks and are considering what to give, start with your thoughts, your words and your actions. Your thoughts become your actions and your actions become your habits. So have good thoughts. Use words of appreciation and inspiration. Let your actions uplift and ignite a spirit of gratitude in others. Show respect for others, treat them as you would want to be treated. Love those who no one else loves. Pass on a few words of admiration to the one who feels worthless. These simple gestures will not only change your life, but they will change the lives of everyone with whom you give this gift!

These gifts will offer a future to some; they will give courage to others. Your encouragement could be the exact thing needed for that person on your list who has been through a difficult time. Sometimes we don’t know if the person we are gifting is searching for the answers of life or has already found them. Is the recipient of your gift a dreamer, a musician, a teacher, a firemen, a dancer, a doctor….what would a person in the aforementioned occupations like?

Don’t stress…give them the gift that keeps on giving…yourself. There are two people in this world in my humble opinion. There are those who sit around counting their blessing or there are those who step up and are a blessing to others. It’s easy to start doing that….really it is! Don’t just stand on the edge wishing you could jump, start making a difference. JUMP…jump into a life changing experience and you will not only enjoy this Christmas Season, but You will also own it!

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and on Instagram! Learn more about my new book, Making it Happen, and my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

What is it that shapes your emotional well-being? What is it that rings your bell? What makes your heart beat faster? What is it that gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling called happiness? I would imagine a vast majority of people will answer that question immediately with money-the almighty dollar. However, when looking at the research of people who have won the lottery or are extremely wealthy, it seems all that money brought them nothing but misery.

Is it good health? Many of you are the epitome of healthy and don’t seem to be happy. Job security? I can list pages full of folks who have jobs others would kill for and they aren’t happy. The perfect family? I can’t even talk about the people who have screwed their families up in search of “outside interest” that they thought would bring them happiness. Therefore, the perfect family did not keep them on the road to endless happiness.

Happiness is right under your nose!

Then what is the answer to this question? Tragically, the foundation of many people’s lives was built on chasing money, the fountain of youth, entertainment, and countless other things that they just knew would bring them an abundance of happiness. Yet when the rubber met the road…they were not happy. Does this sound familiar to you? Can you relate to this?

I saw a T-shirt the other day and it said “other people matter.” Other people matter a great deal! If we realize this and nothing more than this, it could lead us to a lifetime of happiness. My family has been on a very God driven journey the past several years, and we have found that as opposed to putting self first, think of someone else. Gee, doesn’t that sound rather Biblical?! Note to self, the good book will never steer you in the wrong direction!

As opposed to buying something for yourself, get something for a friend. When pumping gas and the person next to you puts five bucks in a tank and you have the ability to help…fill their tank up. I can assure you that will bring you immediate happiness. Is there something that is extremely meaningful to you? Are you passionate about The American Heart Association because one of your parents died of a heart attack or The American Cancer Society because your sibling died of cancer…donate your time or your money to them. That will change the baseline of happiness in your life.

You probably are thinking, “Well, that will only make me happy for a brief moment.” Each journey starts with a small step. Once you make your initial move and feel the results, you will be apt to do it a second time and then you say, “Well, I think I will try that again.” Then once becomes twice and twice becomes three times and you’re off to the races. You might even look in the mirror and ask, “Who is that person I am looking at with the big smile on her face?”

I’ll give you a few pointers for happiness:

• spend more time with your family
• smile on a regular bases
• attend church
• do more social activities, (even if it is going to the movie or walking a neighbor’s dog)
• volunteer at the local library one day a week

We all make choices each and every day. Think about how your choices will affect other people. Will your choice bring happiness to someone? To yourself? I speak to charitable organizations almost every week. Last week I was in two cities, several thousand people at one event and 700 or 800 people at the other one. During the Q&A’s after I spoke, someone asked at both events, “How has all this impacted your life?” My answer is we have learned that giving has made us happier than we ever imagined. Choosing to spend money on others versus yourself will change your life. Choosing to give your time to make a difference in someone’s life or a worthy organization, will change your life.

I read about an experiment where people were given $20.00 and told to either use it for themselves or give it away. At the end of the day the people whom gave it away tested happier than the ones who kept the money. Why don’t you try that little experiment yourself this week? Start small with five bucks. Dedicate that five dollars to someone with a need, more money if you can swing it. The next day spend the same amount on yourself. I would be willing to bet at the end of day just reliving the memory of your gifting the money to someone will in itself give you happiness all over.

Charitable giving or any giving in my opinion is a good feeling. It gives you a sense of a life worth living. It brings joy and happiness to your personal life as well. We live in a selfish world. We strive to be happy just like we strive for everything else. If you are not experiencing life in a way that brings joy and happiness to others on a daily basis, then you are missing happiness with each minute that passes. My hope for each and every person is that when your feet hit the floor every morning that you make a commitment to happiness just like you make a commitment to succeed, to do what is right, to influence others, etc… Be thankful to God for what He has given to you. I hope you will use your resources wisely, not to impress people but to provide happiness to those less fortunate which in turn provides happiness to you. I think you will find this happiness thing will lead to a much more caring and connected life. My hope is that you are able to find it and live the life you were meant to live, as opposed to continuing to chase something that all the time has been right under your nose!

Photo credit:  seanbjack

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

A Mother’s Day Card

Apparently each card left on this sale rack did not convey the message of Mother’s Day to the person reading them. So, I spent a moment or two checking out these leftovers. Each messages that I read was rather bland and certainly didn’t stir me and apparently didn’t evoke any emotion in the ones who had come before me either. Each card definitely had its own appeal. However, I would not have selected them for anything other than one of my kids’ school projects! They were pretty much generic catch phrases or a corny poem that wasn’t working. Some were well wishes from across the miles and some were to the best mom in the world and had a trophy with a blue ribbon on the front of the card. I’m really glad no one bought that bad boy!

My mother always requires a special card. It always has to be the Big Kahuna of cards, the commander-in-chief card….she has extremely high expectations. The 99-cent card would absolutely not do it for my mother. So, as I looked at all these unselected, unloved, Mother’s Day cards, I was curious if this past Sunday had been memorable to the mothers of the world or to the ones who have acted as a mother to so many? I know from personal experience that you don’t have to carry children for nine months to love them or to be a mother to them. Love can grow in your heart just like it can grow in your stomach.

I began to hope that this past week people took the time to seek out those people who might not have birthed them but have had an impact on their lives. Was it a grandmother, an aunt, a sister, a next door neighbor, a best friend’s mother, a guidance counselor, a foster mother, a boss, a teacher, a Bible study leader, a mother-in-law? Who was it who instilled confidence in you when none was there?  Is there a person whom you failed to acknowledge last Sunday who knew even though you always looked like a beautiful, graceful duck swimming elegantly across a lake and on the outside you always appeared cool, calm and collected, yet she knew on the inside you were paddling like crazy to stay afloat? Who is that person who always desires the best for you, encourages your dreams and hopes right along beside you?

We don’t have to limit the “mothering” list to just one. It does not have to be the lady who carried you around for nine months. That really was nothing more than a mode of transportation! Mothering is an all encompassing word! It is a little bit of this and a little bit of that. A mother is one who raises you, teaches you, feeds you, inspires you, lets you know when you are being difficult, challenges you to be better, soft-pedals your wrong doings and loves you unconditionally. Did that list mention anything about giving birth? No, I don’t think it did. As humans we have a need to pigeon-hole everything and wrap it up in an explainable package. There is not enough wrapping paper in the entire world to wrap up the who, how, why or when you are called upon to be a mother. Every time we encourage someone we give him or her a shot of mothering. Keeping someone balanced in this difficult world of ours or helping someone reclaim joy or renewing someone’s perspective when that person thought that was not possible…that is mothering.

Who’s the person you pick up the phone to call not only to share good news with but just to talk about your plain old ordinary day? Yes, usually when we think of the word mothering we think of someone kissing a baby’s fears away or someone who sugarcoats everything or the one who never pronounces a bad situation hopeless. And yes, that definitely describes a mother as well. But being a mother is many times a dirty, stinky, thankless job and in my world no matter how many times we have to get dirty we always return for more. So whether this person in your life cared for you, supervised you or taught you, she obviously had an impact on your life.

My mom always taught me it is never too late to do the right thing. So if by chance you missed that special lady on Mother’s Day. It’s not too late. We mothers are a fraternal group. We take love and attention any place, any where and any time we can get it. So run through the names in your cell phone, check on your email contact list or flip through the old fashion rolodex and find that person who had a part in making you who you are today. You are one of the lucky ones! There is someone in this world who cares if you take your next breath, someone who thinks you are magnificent but will tell you that you acted miserably. If you have one of these “mothers” in your life then consider it a priceless treasure. I’m now going to give you a little motherly advice, even though you didn’t ask for it. Run up to Walgreens or Target and grab one of those leftover cards or send a text or pick up the phone and give her a jingle. Anytime is a good time to hear, “Happy Mother’s Day!” It will be a magical moment for her. I promise!                  

Photo credit by:  Carolyn_Sewell

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

During these rough patches we call “life” we are all called to step it up! If we all take it up one notch, give an inch, do just a little more …Wow! Can you even imagine the results? Every single day someone says to me, “But what can I do?” Well here’s your answer. Man Up! I am not asking you to go adopt; I am not asking you to break your piggy bank and give away all your life savings; I am not asking you to sell your first born; I am not asking you to cheat on your taxes; I’m not asking you to take out a second mortgage; I am not asking you to go without …all I’m asking you to do is raise the bar one little bitty notch and Man Up. It will not be painful nor is it an impossible task.

The truth of the matter is we are really at war every single day. The enemy ranges from our health to our safety, to social media, to raising your children, to decisions about aging parents, to work related issues not to mention finances, education, household responsibilities and endless other things that are too numerous to list. Yet by doing the simple task of taking one extra step we can win the battle. It’s never too late to get started! This minute is spot on. Right now seems to be the perfect time. The war will rage on, but one battle at a time is doable. We all need to up our game.

I know there is some lady sitting there reading this and  saying, “Well why did she say, ‘Man Up’? She should have included the ladies.” Really?  That’s where the shut up comes into play. Sometimes you just have to tell someone to shut up, as rude as it sounds; it is sometimes required. Especially when they start going off about how men definitely did not draw the short straw. They get to keep their same name when they marry and don’t have to birth babies and don’t have to do this or that ….It was just an expression, ladies, no slight to gender, so don’t get your feelings hurt and start pouting on me. Just shut up!

A Lake Fly

Ok, Let me get back on track. I spoke in Oshkosh, Wisconsin last week. As we were on the way to the event we received a phone call from our host saying she needed to inform us that the lake flies had arrived several weeks early due to the warm weather and we needed to be aware and ready. She said we needed a raincoat over our clothes for protection. I’m sorry, but  am not in the habit of carrying a raincoat when it is sunny and 75 outside. Now, I had taken Ms. Sue and Tracy, one of our family assistants with me. The three of us looked at each other very perplexed and said, “What in the world is she  talking about?” It did not take long for us to know exactly what she was talking about. As we pulled up to this beautifully restored building right on Lake Winnebago , we just sat in the car dumbfounded. I thought someone was punking us; it was like something out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie! The bugs were so thick they made a wall. The cars were covered; the columns on the building were black due to these insects all over them. We sat there just staring at each other to see who was  going to make the first move. I sat there just stunned.

I immediately decided I didn’t care how charitable this organization was; I was not getting out of that car. Nope not me! I hope they had a lovely event. I would read about it in the newspaper the next day. Then as I looked around and people were going into the building very enthusiastically like the darn things weren’t swarming everywhere, I thought we have to Man Up. We needed a plan. We were three intelligent women. We had graduated from college. The plan was to open the door, run like you were in the 50 yard dash, wave our arms like a traffic cop and snowplow right through those pesky booger bears. Seemed logical to me.

So, I looked at Ms. Sue and Tracy and said, “Here we go!”  Tuff times don’t last, but tuff people do is all I could think of as we sprinted to the front door. I really wish we had it on video because I took a quick peak at Ms. Sue as we were juking and jiving our way to the door and told her for 30 feet you have to keep your mouth shut; if you open it, it will be filled with these things! That my friends is an extremely difficult thing for Ms. Sue to do. She rolled out of that car like Jolly old St Nick getting to his first house on Christmas Eve to deliver gifts. She had a spring in her step that I had not seen in a long time. It was either them or us, and I was not going to let them win. We dashed and darted. It was a complete out of body experience. Where was the pest control man when you needed him?

When we crossed the threshold, we were all three dying with laughter. Of course you know me, I haughtily looked at the “door greeter” who was acting like she was in Miami and it was sunny and 70 and I said “Y’all need to call the fog truck to come spray and get rid of all these things.”  I’m thinking they must not have fog trucks in Wisconsin, but they needed one on this night!  This wasn’t the epitome of manning up, but it was my version that day. It was also an experience I will tell my grandkids about. Apparently these flies come out once a year and the coming out process last about two weeks. Once they hatch, or whatever it is that they do, they only live 24 hours but there is a ton of them. I’m sure the fly family said, “Get up, rise up, bug up, fly up, and mess up everyone’s day as well as their clothes” because when you squish them it is a green dot that looks like baby poo. You can’t make this stuff up!

Day in and day out we have degrees in which we have to Man Up, whether it is dodging the lake flies, being responsible for yourself, putting a veto on bad language and bad behavior, doing the right thing, being on time,  cleaning up someone else’s mess, not losing your temper when the person breaks in line, volunteering more, deciding to go back to school to get your degree, running an errand for a friend in a bad spot or babysitting for a neighbor who needs some me time….Whatever the scenario, Manning Up just doesn’t mean it has to be front line combat. It’s not always a red light stopper. It often can be simple, unexpected, yet still giving of one’s self. The lake flies taught me a valuable lesson.

Shake it up! We’ve been doing what we do for so long that sometimes we need a reality check to make us Man Up! Many times we are on auto pilot and need a little shaking up to recognize the needs around us or recognize what we need to make us happier and healthier. Shaking it up will hopefully make us more productive and get us out of the rut that we are in. I hope you don’t have to encounter the lake flies to pry you out of your comfort zone and stimulate you into a new place.

So…last but not least here’s to changing it up! Breathe in all this fresh springtime air; clear your head and rise to the challenge. You will then get a Thumbs Up and it will be a win-win situation for everyone!

Photo credit: JonRichfield

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

It just seems to me that in situation after situation when we mess up that we blame it on everyone but the person with whom the blame really lies, ourselves. Many times life can be very difficult. It is definitely not always filled with cupcakes and cartwheels. Inevitably we all stumble across pain and suffering in our lives, whether it is through the economy, our health, our relationships or simple human stupidity, but no one is immune from suffering. Now, it is one’s choice how long you allow yourself to be miserable or go without forgiving.

Keep Your Cool

This week I was on a plane returning from Los Angeles. There were two gentlemen sitting behind me discussing the pitfalls of having to go on a business trip to Memphis, Tennessee. Their dialogue was so off base that it was all I could do to contain myself from turning around and saying, “You and You are idiots.” I was experiencing up close and personal human stupidity right in front of my eyes. Well, actually right behind my back. These two Einsteins had it all figured out. In their ever so “shallow” minds, they categorized not just people from Memphis but southerners in general as and I quote, “hicks.” Who even uses that word anymore? They were obviously completely out of touch with reality. If you listened to these two you would have thought Southerners still climbed a telephone pole to answer the phone every time it rang like on Green Acres!

I consider myself a well-traveled individual. I am in two or three different cities every few weeks. Last week I was in Los Angeles, Dallas and Atlanta. This week:  Oshkosh, Wisconsin, Nashville, Tennessee and Oxford, Mississippi. Point is, that over the past two years, since the release of The BlindSide, I have traveled to the four corners of this country and beyond our borders, and let me tell you I have encountered every type of redneck, hick and classless person you can imagine in every place I have been. So it certainly is not just a southern thing. Yes, life in the South may be a tad slower, and we might enjoy the outdoors a bit more, and we are usually very outgoing, polite and well-mannered, but that doesn’t mean we don’t wear shoes or have indoor plumbing.

So, I found myself wanting to do bodily harm to these two gentlemen behind me. However, here comes the “do the right thing” speech that I am constantly doling out to others. The forgive and forget lecture. The be a good person and turn the other cheek blah blah blah….However, I was not very happy and my thoughts were anything but about being kind. Yet, I and only I, would be responsible for the actions I was contemplating at that moment. I would be held accountable for any and all actions that took place. It takes years and years and years to develop your character and your good name and in a split second was I going to let these two simple-minded men behind me ruin that? Spitting on them would not be extremely classy nor would smashing their mouths all over their faces, result in anything good, as my grandmother used to tell me. So why not try and just forgive them for being ignorant?

I was taking deep breaths through my nose, like a bull staring into a red cape. These two had no idea how close to harm they were. When one spewed a line that went something like, “I imagine sophistication went out with the yellow fever epidemic,” that almost caused me to go over the seat. Of course, these feelings are not new to me nor my family. When you have an African American child, you are used to being open game for people’s opinions, judgements, and ridiculous comments, but this was not just directed at my five family members this was directed at an entire section of our country. Oh, they said Memphis, but it could have been Birmingham, Nashville, or any other southern city. So these two wise ones needed to learn not to talk about things that they knew nothing about as well as not say things that are hurtful and insensitive. I could only imagine what they said behind closed doors if this was their airplane conversation.

I took several deep cleansing breaths and decided they were not worth wasting my time on, and that my energy would be better served on something that was productive and uplifting. It was up to me to take the required thirty second cooling off timeout, and it was up to me to make a good choice. There are so many great people who would still be with us today if they had made responsible choices and looked in the mirror and said, “I need to do the right thing.”

We have to learn to let go and move in a forward direction. Forgiving will not take away the memory or really the pain but without it, things tend to get worse. We become bitter and callous. So the next time someone is getting more attention than you or they have a nicer cell phone or the better car or your good friend throws you under the bus or you get blamed for something you didn’t do…remember only you are responsible for your actions. Let’s use our energy to fight the real injustices in this world. Let’s be loud and proud for those who are being bullied and treated poorly. Let’s try to find a home for every foster child and a bed for every baby. Don’t let your emotions cause you to do foolish things. Use those emotions for the good- make a change that is so badly needed in our society. If we all collectively use our enthusiasm and energy to do the right thing  and we take responsibility for our actions, we will see difficulties disappear, obstacles vanish, and change will be just beyond the horizon!

Photo credit by: atomicShed

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

I was going to inform you last week and give you lists of fabulous ideas and pages of great projects that you could engage in, but then I thought, “No, let’s see what these fine upstanding citizens can come up with on their own.” If you are in the minority, and you are proudly having a discussion with your conscious saying, “Well, I took cookies to the fire station; she’s not as smart as she thinks she is” or you said to yourself, “I’m going to touch base with Ms. Leigh Anne Tuohy and let her know I helped clean up the local park” or “I did this or that.” Well, good for you; do more! More is badly needed.

Volunteer at a community garden!

So much of our life is scripted. We are creatures of habit. We are list makers, planners; we are goal setters and do gooders by nature. Last week, we should have all stepped up and been difference makers.  We should have had National Volunteer Week on our ipads, ipods, blackberrys, iphones, and a note stuck on the fridge. We do this for things far less important. We should have held parades and had rallies. We should have painted signs that read “Stamp out hunger,” “Make sure everyone can read,” “Electricity for all,”  “Love those no one loves,” “Don’t litter,” and we should have stood on every street corner in America at rush hour with our signs, holding buckets for donations and shouting, “Please help!” We should have marched on the courthouse steps. We should be angry that families live in cars and intelligent teenagers don’t have an option to go to college much less have adequate school supplies and health care.

As I said, we certainly get angry over things of much less importance and become passionately involved with things that don’t really matter, that are totally unimportant. We invest ourselves in so many things that are self-serving when an act as simple as volunteering could create much needed assistance and serve so many. Yet we just acknowledged that most of us had no clue that last week was the golden opportunity to say, “Hey, I want to jump in and do my part.” I want to be the best volunteer there has ever been!

It should have been a week that social media was filled with tips and ideas to lend a helping hand to step up and change a life. The Nightly News should have been over run with story after story of people who were awe inspiring, even if it was just something as simple as a kind individual who was found in the local park looking for figures in the clouds with a foster child and sharing an ice cream cone with him after that simple act of involvement and giving of one’s time. Unfortunately, it seems to me that we are a nation of people who like to draw lines in the sand. We want to say here’s my obligation; here’s my responsibility and when I get to that self appointed line then I have fulfilled my duty. We like to have closure, a finishing point. It’s  like we want this imaginary finish line that says when you cross here your mission is completed.

Well ladies and gentlemen, that is just not the case with volunteering! There is always works to be done and precious ones who need to be helped. I can tell you from personal experience that once you become involved in the act of giving of yourself and your time that each day you will be drawn to continue to do more and more. You will begin to think of endless possibilities that could change lives and move the needle. Your imagination runs wild with thoughts of potential. If you have dreamed of being a leader, well here’s your chance. You can be the lead volunteer! It will be a position that can not only change your life but those around you. Leadership is really about inspiring those around you and leading by example. Let your family, friends and associates see a change in you.  Make a lasting impression on them and I bet you a plug nickel they will follow!

There is no time like the present to get started. Just because you missed the assigned dates last week doesn’t mean you put it off until next year. Get up and get going and don’t make it seem like a daunting task. We can all do simple things each and every day that will have a positive impact on those around us. How hard is it to look for figures in the clouds? Here’s where the rubber meets the road….what we believe, what we think and what we say will only be as effective as what we actually get up and do. So volunteer and volunteer often and be the very best do’er you can be and it will change a life for the better!

Photo credit by: AARP

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

She knows I use this time of year to engage everyone in a ritual we have all heard of and I really live for which is “Spring Cleaning.” I wait until after Easter; I don’t want to seem too eager. Gotta play the cool card, even when cleaning is involved. I’m not going to lie,  her revelation startled me a little as I pretty much have a Windex bottle attached to my right hand at all times. It is like an accessory to me, my watch and my Windex bottle. My family members are familiar with that yummy Windex taste and have actually grown to like it. I tell them, just as my father told me, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! 

Windex

Many nights, being the multi-tasker that I am, I would be Windexing one of their spots at the table as the other one was still eating and the latter would say, “Mom, you just sprayed Windex on my food.” I would respond with, “Oh, a little Windex never hurt anyone; this particular Windex even has a little vinegar in it so it can’t be that bad for you.” It hasn’t appeared to stunt any of their growths, especially the boys, and they really appear to be three very well rounded kids. The occasional twitch and loss of hair…just kidding.

I was raised by a grandmother and a mother who were obsessed with cleaning. My grandmother did spring cleaning year round. Every occasion  was a reason to spring clean. I remember when we would be taking the Christmas decorations down and Virgie, my maternal grandmother, who lived in the house with us would say, “Let’s spring clean before we put the furniture back and let’s straighten the attic before we put the decorations back up there.” Even at an early age, before I was required to help, I thought it was odd to do your spring cleaning in December. Oh, my mom would start taking the Christmas tree down at midnight on Christmas Day. Yes sir, at one minute after midnight, that tree was coming down. That holiday was over, donezo, finished and it was time for the tree to come down.

For years my poor dad would try to argue that many people kept their tree up for “the holidays” which included New Years. She would look at him as if he had lost his mind. She would say, “What? Who leaves the tree up that long, not us!” That tree was coming down. It was see what Santa brought, yes, he still comes to our house, slam down some egg nog, visit with family members you only see once a year and wham bam take the tree down! My mom would happily agree and be so excited that everyone wanted to help. I think to this day she has no idea that we all dreaded the taking down of the tree activity, but it was a necessity to get to the end results. So down it came and spring cleaning would begin!

 That cleaning would be moving all the furniture to the center of the room, cleaning baseboards, window sills, ceiling fan blades and on and on and on. Now, my mother really wasn’t the “Mommy Dearest” type, but she did love to see vacuum cleaner marks on a rug. So, as you can imagine, a good bit of that was instilled in me and my only sibling, a younger brother. One time my brother actually told my husband that the bathroom garbage can was not the place for an empty Doritos’ bag.  He proceeded to call me and inform me that my husband needed to learn what trash went in the kitchen garbage can and what trash went in the bathroom garbage can. And people think we have it all together! My husband came in and looked at me and said, “Your family has issues.” Of course I responded with, “What was your first clue?” He continued, “Your brother is as bad as you are.”  I had a confused look on my face, and he recanted the story to me. He said, “He really got mad at me because I didn’t put the appropriate trash in the appropriate can.” I just laughed and said, “You can thank my mom for that.” 

Which if you haven’t realized this…Your kids are typically mirror images of you. If you aren’t happy with the kids, take a step back and look at your own life.  Sometimes, my grandmother would tell us she wanted the house to have that fresh air smell and it could be January and 20 degrees outside and she would have all the windows open. That is one policy I have not adopted! I can walk around and spray the house with Febreze and it gives the same fresh air effect but then that brings us right back to that carcinogenic thing again!

SJ, being the smart kid, tells me there are all kind of nontoxic products I can buy. He also looked at me and said and I quote, “Have you every just tried using hot water to clean with?” What a smart kid…that would seem like a pretty simple thing. I wish I had thought of it myself. So this has all given me cause to first, rethink my cleaning products and procedures. I will probably have to have therapy over cutting back on my Windex usage, but if my family’s health is at stake, I can endure a few counseling sessions.

Second, I decided I needed to apply this spring cleaning approach to my life as well. We’ve talked about who we can help, ways to help, everyone has the ability to help in some form or fashion, where to help…the idea of constantly trying to do what’s right is something that should never change, regardless of the time or place, but spring does seem like a good time to house clean the body and soul as well as our living room. It’s a time we can sweep the front porch of our minds, knock the cobwebs down in the brain, sharpen our thoughts. People often ask me for advice or an opinion. I think many times they really don’t want an answer; they just want me to listen to their story….I try to engage with them and not just look like a bobble head on SJ’s dresser. This, maybe is a time to evaluate if we are on the right path, headed in the right direction. We don’t want to be a bobble head, stiff, out of touch, insincere. No, we want to be a real emotional human being who invests in others. All of this truly makes a difference to someone.

So yes, it is spring! The trees are budding; the daffodils are popping up; the birds are beginning to chirp. It is my favorite season of the year, not because my grandmother or my mom taught me to be excited to clean but because the challenge of life hopefully takes on a new meaning for you. Life is not easy! Life’s not fair! Life can be so cold, hard and cruel sometimes! Hopefully, you will use this spring to be the budding tree to someone. You will be the flower that pops up from the cold hard ground to make a difference to someone. You will be the bird chirping that someone hears and knows there is hope for them. Use life as a chance to grow a soul. Remember the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason. Looking ahead is so much more important than looking back. So with spring upon us and summer quickly approaching, don’t make the cleaning ritual seasonal. Make it timeless!

Photo credit by: Chealion

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

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Hope is a powerful thing. It gives way to a new beginning, a tomorrow, another chance, a do over. Hope can chase away the darkest of days, despair and evil. Hope will illuminate a path that had previously seemed impossible to pass. Isaiah 40:31 says,

 Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Easter Cross

Hope is a gift that God gives us time and time again, unconditionally. I realize that many people think of this as superstition and not fact. However, for Christians, Christ’s resurrection offers us the greatest hope ever known to man. It doesn’t matter what your church creed is, your denomination, your philosophy, what color your church is painted, how many choir members you have, if you sprinkle or dip, or if your church has a steeple or stained glass. Without Christ, Christianity would be just another one of those man made, dead religions. A religion that some mortal man came up with, probably to stroke his ego.

So stop this Easter and take a look at the portrait Christ paints for us every Spring. It is a painting of renewed hope as the dismal landscape becomes brilliant with trees budding and flowers rising out of the cold hard ground. There’s a celebration by all God’s creatures from the caterpillar forming his cocoon and then becoming a beautiful butterfly to a large bear awakening from a long winter’s nap. When I look around and see all the glory in mother nature, it to me is God’s first speech. It is God saying, “Yes, I may be invisible to you but look around you. I created the birds in the air, the fish in the vast seas, and every animal that takes a breath.” Nature alone should draw you to the hand of God. Christ gives you a snapshot of new beginnings, of hope, and a promising tomorrow.

Easter also is a beautiful picture of forgiveness. There has been so much hurt and sadness lately in our country. Forgiving others opens the door to many possibilities. It is such a hard thing to do; I am the worst at it, but it is a powerful thing when you truly forgive. It brings about unconditional love, real understanding, renewed trust, stronger relationships and provides that hope we have been talking about. Interestingly enough, when our lives are rocking and rolling along we have no questions, BUT when our lives take a turn for the worse and things seem to spiral out of control, we then have no answers.

We have no answers when innocent kids get killed for wearing the wrong thing, or someone gets bullied because they are a certain faith, or because of a mistake we made we lose our family and friends. Therefore, even if you don’t believe in Christ, why not try emulating Him. It could provide many of the answers you are seeking! His legacy is one we all could learn from. None of us will ever be perfect as He was, but we can do a better job of following His lead.

We can all try loving each other, forgiving each other, and offering hope to each other! What would be wrong with having these aspirations? Not a thing! It will enhance your family, your friendships, your neighborhood and your city. Coming together with hope, love and forgiveness offers a fresh start, a new beginning.

So ladies and gentlemen, let His hope flood into your world, warming your soul with an opportunity for love and forgiveness. Look around at what all life has given you as opposed to what it has taken from you. My sincere hope and prayer for each and every person reading this is you will be rescued from the cold, the pain and the despair. The warmth is a feeling like none other! I wish you the happiest, most hopeful Easter and may all your tomorrows bring an abundance of blessings!

Photo credit by: cwarnercarey

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

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Guess what….they missed it! All of them, every last one of them. They get paid a bunch of money not to miss it, but they did; they completely missed it on many levels. Many of them probably never heard of Norfolk State much less picked them to win a game. Did ESPN flash Kyle O’Quinn up on some list as an exceptional player? Absolutely not and neither did any of the other geniuses of the basketball world because this kid was not offered a scholarship by anyone other than his current coach. I saw him interviewed and he said, “I have no idea where I would be if Coach Evans had not thought I had the ability to play for him.” It only takes one person to believe in you. Kyle had Coach Evans. Coach Anthony Evans is the person who looked at this young man and saw value and potential. Wouldn’t you love to know what Coach Evans’ salary is versus what the coach from Missouri makes! That’s the team he beat. Goodness knows, he makes much, much much less than say the Kentucky coach or even the Ohio State coach. I feel fairly confident the gap is pretty big. Therefore, a large salary does not equate with the ability to lead a team to victory.

Be a game changer.

Let’s talk about Lehigh …do you think there is a single player on the Lehigh team who Duke recruited? Again, I feel very safe saying absolutely not, yet they beat the number two seeded team like a red-headed step child. I would be willing to bet that Duke’s shoe budget is more than Lehigh’s entire basketball budget! The Final Four teams left standing were not the ones the vast majority had on that little bracket that everyone fills out. Yes, many had Kentucky, but I don’t really consider them a college team. They are more NBA to me!

The point I’m trying to drive home here is that we all have this little inner voice that talks to us all the time. We wake up every morning and that voice is saying, “It’s useless it’s impossible; it’s risky; it’s pointless; it’s time consuming; it’s hopeless and on and on and on.” The sad thing is that so many of us listen to that voice. We even agree with it and encourage it and allow it to be the lead dog. What if Lehigh had listened to that inner voice? Lehigh, you can’t beat Duke. I mean they are bad to the bone. They are past National Champions. The basketball gods bless them every single day. They eat teams like you for an afternoon snack. In reality, they should have just dropped Duke a note in the mail and said, “We thank you for the kind invitation to play you in the NCAA Tournament, but we regret to inform you that we will be unable to attend the big dance; our party dresses have not arrived. Therefore, please send us our check; just give yourself the W (for a win), and we wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.” I mean that would seem like the sensible thing to do if you had been Lehigh. In doing this, that little voice would have convinced them that they were not good enough to even be on the same court with a team like Duke. They were going to get chewed up and spit out. Well guess what, here’s a newsflash for you if you don’t watch basketball. Lehigh won! Yes sir!

They looked in the mirror and said to that negative voice, “Yes, we can beat Duke! We are just as capable as they are. We have put in long hours and hard work. We have confidence. We believe in ourselves. We put on our uniforms the same way they do. We have value. We have worth. Now, we are going to go out and show those basketball gods that they need to spread the love because we are created exactly like the other guys.” They listened to their hearts. They believed in each other. They said, “Hey, if it’s not us then it’s going to be someone else. So we are going to go out there and give it all we’ve got and show that hard work pays off.”

Believing you can make a difference or you can change or realizing you are not worthless is a step in the right direction. My family can tell you from personal experience just like Lehigh can, that the little voice that tells you in a faint whisper day after day …”Hey, walk away it’s pointless. Hello this is risky; you better not do it. Knock, knock, this a hopeless situation; don’t waste your time on it. Come on man, this is an impossible situation. Walk away…fast! You’ve got a million things to do and this is not on the list.” You all know that voice I’m talking about don’t you? The voice that tells you don’t give the man holding a sign at the street corner that reads, “I need help” any money. The voice says they will just use it for beer and cigarettes. Yeah, that voice. I hope that you will have the courage to tell that voice to SHUT UP! Trust me…it is never pointless or worthless or hopeless….it is life changing. If you believe you can make a difference, you can have an impact like none other.

America loves an underdog. Even though everyone knew Duke losing would be a bracket buster, I’m willing to bet that most folks watching that game were pulling for Lehigh. I had Duke in the Final Four and I was cheering for Lehigh like a crazy person. That’s human nature. We should all be pulling for the little guy. We should be patting them on the back and telling them you can do it. We have faith in you. Mike Krzyzewski, the Duke coach, said after his team’s loss, “This game will take you to incredible highs, and it will also take you to incredible lows.” Well, so will your life. The trick is not to let that little voice talk you into going to the low places on a regular basis. Don’t let those low places convince you that you are superior or better than others or others aren’t worth the risk. Let the incredible highs win out. Yes, there will always be people in life who want to see you fail simply because they can not succeed, but that’s not the norm. We are all in this together. The more you give the more you get, so tell that inner voice that it’s a new day! We are going “Lehigh” on everyone. The results are so worth it. We are going to be the difference makers. YOU need to be the bracket buster!  You be the one to cause an upset! They will be saying, “Wow, never thought they would step up like that.” And that ladies and gentlemen is called a game changer.

Photo credit by: GonchoA

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

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March 17th we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Well some people do anyway, many of us will at least wear green that day. In our younger days, we used it as an excuse to make merriment, or at least I did. Before I started sleeping with the afore mentioned man, I don’t even think I really knew anything about, nor did I care about St. Patrick’s Day. It still is not high on my priority list, but as I was reading about the celebration, I found the history of the day interesting. What do you know about it? Well, let me give you a brief run down.

Shamrock

It is celebrated each year during Lent; if you are not familiar with that, then Google it. Saint Patrick was a real deal person who lived in the fifth century. He was credited with bringing Christianity to the Irish people. St. Patrick was brought to Ireland as a slave when he was 16 years old. Many various myths have been passed down over the years involving the Saint, but the most well known is his explanation of the Holy Trinity using the three leaf clover better known as the Shamrock! Just think, he was your average 16 year old, an unknown, and before he could blink his eyes he became a household name – and Walmart and Target make a bundle of money from the tradition created by this 16-year-old lad.

Isn’t it amazing the people who are plucked out of ordinary lives and are used to do extraordinary things?  People who are down and out are used to spread a message, used to inspire and give hope, used to instill courage. They are used to change not only one life at a time, but they are used to change lives, in many instances for years and years to come. Look at Saint Patrick; this was a 16 year old who was kidnapped, sold as a slave, and brought Christianity to a country.

My family is another example of the ordinary being used to spread a message. My father was a police officer, and Sean’s father was a school teacher. We are just like you. Yet our life was for some reason, was plucked up and used to spread a message that we hope will continue to inspire for years to come. What about Jeremy Lin? Have you heard his name mentioned recently?  This young man was thought of as an average at best basketball player. He played at Harvard. Yes, you heard me correct…Harvard. He wasn’t on the debate team; well, maybe he was; he was on the basketball team. You would never associate Harvard with a basketball powerhouse super star. He did not get drafted; in fact, he was cut by 3 or 4 NBA teams before he landed with the NY Knicks. The truth is, if the Knicks had not had injuries on their team, he would have continued to ride the pine! Yet he is now a household name…it’s being called LINsanity! He is on the covers of numerous magazines; he is on late night talk shows; he is all that and more, and he was just another average Joe. He was just like you and me. He gets up; he goes to work; he pays his taxes and from what I have read and heard is just an all around good guy. Yet he is now inspiring people and changing lives.

I could fill pages with stories of people who are everyday ordinary folks just like you and me. They don’t think they can make a difference. They continue to believe they are not worthy enough to be useful. The American culture would lead you to believe that the guy who likes to work alone, only makes small talk, the quiet type isn’t the one who is going to change the world. We are trained to think it’s the quarterback of the football team and the captain of the cheerleaders who will soar and be the ones to lead the pack for change. WRONG WRONG WRONG….you do not have to be The President of the United States, or the Mayor or the Head Coach or the Chief Executive Officer or any big cheese. You just have to be you.

Ordinary, everyday, typical, normal people are the ones who can make a difference and their lives are the ones that are being used to move the needle. They are the ones who like to take a step back from all the noise. So many of us are afraid of failure. We are so afraid of negative feedback, humiliation and making some mistake that we have zero interaction and nothing gets done. I think the pressure by society of doing the right thing and doing it correctly keeps many from reaching out a helping hand. We worry about being criticized for doing the right thing. We need to stop holding back. It would surprise you what you are capable of doing. It’s not always easy. My family is now called upon to visit the child who has months to live or try to find help for the family sleeping under the bridge.

So yes, it sometimes becomes uncomfortable, but many people are at a point of no return, and we have the ability to offer them options. How long has it been since you did that for someone? We did it as kids all the time; why do we stop as adults? I think we are all better than we give ourselves credit. You know my family believes that quitters never win so don’t give up on yourself. Don’t wait for someone to ask you to open the door for him. Open it for yourself and see what is on the other side, because the story of your life might just be the story to change someone else’s life, just like St Patrick’s! And don’t forget to wear green; it might keep someone from pinching you!!

Photo credit by: cobalt123

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @LeighAnneTuohy and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at The Making It Happen Foundation.

Miss one of my previous posts? You can view them all HERE