Abdusalaam al-Hindi

Delhi Bloggers Meet on Tuesday, Jan. 04, 2001

2011-01-03T21:41:00.002+05:30

First off, Happy 2011 everyone.

Second, this post is to inform my Delhi readers that I'll probably be attending tomorrow's Delhi Blogger's Meetup at Chandni Chowk.

If you plan to be there, then let me know.

Details on the meetup:

Date : 4th Jan'11 (Tuesday)
Time : 6:00pm onwards
Venue : Chandni Chowk, meeting point is at Chawri Bazar exit of Chawri Bazar metro station.
Agenda - Visit Parantha gali, Visit al jawahar, Eat, click, interact with the others.

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Sahib Busy Hain

2010-10-11T14:06:00.002+05:30

For those who are wondering where I've been all this time and why don't I update my blog anymore, I'd like you to know that I'm busy with creating and launching two new blogs. They are taking most of my leisure time.

I wish I could tell you about them, but I'm running it under my real name, which stops me from talking about it. By the way, those who know me personally, don't worry. I'll tell you about it once the site goes live.

Since I don't know when I'll be updating this blog again, simply stay subscribed and when I do, you'll be notified.

Till then. Take care.

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My Reaction to the Babri Masjid Verdict

2010-10-01T15:58:00.002+05:30

Regardless of how just the outcome of the case is, which it is not, I am more surprised by the way the court conducted the case than its outcome.

When you read about the case, it is hard to believe that the judiciary in this country is part of a secular system.

Allow me to explain.

When I heard of the verdict, I wondered, how could the court rule on the birth of Ram? How could they possibly know where Ram was born. Also, to say Ram was born, is to claim to the existence of Ram as a historical reality and not part of a religious mythology. Moreover, to claim to know the exact site of Ram's birth is also to recognize present day Ayodhya to be the very same Ayodhya mentioned in the folklore.

How is the court coming to these conclusions when history has yet to prove such claims. What method or source is the court using to gain such knowledge, I wondered.

However, such questions stopped to matter when I learned of one crucial piece of information about the case.

What made everything make sense was when I learned later that Lord Ram in the form of a child, which is something akin to baby Jesus I suppose, was one of the litigants in the case himself.

I believe this bears repeating. The Hindu deity, Lord Ram, was one of the litigants in the court case himself.

How crazy is that?!

What I'm wondering is, if Lord Ram was in the court himself, in person, then why didn't the court simply ask him where he was born and whether his Mandir was demolished to be replaced by a Masjid? Why did we have to go through this long process?

And what I find really funny is that even Ram had to resort to the Indian legal system to gain his rights. I mean, he's a god for god sakes. He is the one who people turn to for help. And here you have him turning to the court for help himself.

I said it before and I'll say it again -- How crazy is that?!

Although the court could somehow ascertain the fact that Ram was born at the very site of the Masjid, the court however, could not ascertain beyond a shadow of a doubt, when and who the Masjid was built by. I'm not kidding, this is what the Times of India reported in today's paper on the court ruling.

Apparently, a structure that was built a few hundred years ago is shrouded in more mystery and lore than an incident that is claimed to have taken place thousands of years ago.

I say it again -- How crazy is that?!

There is a lot more to be said on this topic, but I'll end it here for now.

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Eid Mubarak!

2010-09-11T00:00:00.061+05:30

[Time of India Eid Greeting 9/10/2010. Click on image to enlarge.]

Wow, it has been more than a month since my last post. I don't know why, but I get tired of blogging after a while and have to go on a hiatus till I get my interest back. Anyways, I thought the day of Eid would be a good time to start blogging again.

So as our brothers from another mother say in the near West, Kullu aam wa antum bekair bitches!

Story Behind the Picture

I especially chose the above image for this post because Times of India ran this ad in today's paper, wishing everyone a Happy Eid. Apparently, no one told them Eid was not on Friday this year as predicted, but on Saturday. But what can you do, such goof-ups are expected from the Times. This also tells you that ToI's editorial board has no Muslim on it to point out their mistake. Sad.

Times of India cannot stop amazing me with their blunders. They run the paper like the Indian government runs the country -- as a favor to the people.

An Observation on the Picture

Also, if you'll notice on the right bottom section of the ad, they have an image of a couple of winged horses on it. So what's the connection of Eid or Muslims with Pegasus you ask?

Answer: the same connection Times of India has with journalism.

I leave it to you to figure that relation out.

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Head of the Sahara Pariwar Makes an "Emotional Appeal" to the Press to Stop Reporting on Corruption

2010-08-08T21:20:00.003+05:30

In yesterday's Times Of India, published 8 August 2010 -- there was an advertised open letter in the paper titled an "Emotional Appeal", from a man named Subrata Roy Sahara. [Link to the letter.]

[Subrata Roy Sahara.]

For those who don't know who he is, like I didn't till I had too look him up -- Subrata Roy is the man behind the Sahara Group of Companies. A conglomerate that is alleged to be the second biggest employer in India after the Indian Railways, as per the Time magazine.

Also, according to Sahara's website, the Sahara group, which interestingly call themselves the Sahara Pariwar meaning family in Hindi, has assets worth over $50 billion dollars.

So whatever maybe the accurate worth, just know that we are talking about a very big company run by a very rich and powerful man.

However, our focus is on the fact that Sahara also owns a major media company. They own news channels and newspapers all over India. And what the chairman of the group has to say on the role of the press is something I believe is worth noting.

In his open letter, Subrata Roy, speaking on the recently unearthed corruption scandal related to the Common Wealth Games, has made an "emotional appeal" to the rest of the press, to stop talking and reporting on the corruption charges surrounding the Common Wealth Games.

Why you may ask? Why does Subrata care so deeply on the issue to take out ads in newspapers to make such an unsual appeal?

Well, Mr. Roy lists many reasons, apart from the real reason which I will talk about later in the post, but I believe, it's better if you hear it directly from the diamond studded horses mouth. I quote one of the stated reasons from his letter below.

Via Times Of India:

[Click to enlarged]

"The recent continuous negative media coverage of Delhi Common Wealth Games, 2010 has resulted in absolute negativity among our people and the whole world is talking adversely about our country.

Due to this continuous and extensively negative coverage, we are creating withdrawal feeling in thousands of organizers, 23000 volunteers, who are feeling totally demoralized and dejected."

So, that's his reason on the need for press self-censorship. By airing our dirty laundry, the world talks about us "adversely", the press demoralizes our corrupt government officials and creates "absolute negativity", whatever the hell that means, and a "withdrawal feeling", as he so articulately puts it.

By the way, a note on his letter; judging by the language of the letter, it seems Subrata "I'm just your humble sentimental patriot" Roy, has written the letter himself. It does not look like it was ghost written by a professional. You just have to read it once and you can tell that it is written by someone who spends more time signing his name than creating actual sentences.

Coming back to the content of the letter though. His letter raises interesting questions for me. And the questions are: What is the role of the Indian press? What is their function in our society? Should the press care about India's image on the world stage in their reporting? Should that even be a factor? And most importantly, shouldn't the Indian public be their only concern? Second to making money of course; lets not get carried away here. But, should India's image building also be one of their duties?

I think not, is my short and simple answer. In a democracy, the press is there to educate and inform the citizenry. It's not there to play a PR agent for the nation.

Thankfully, however, I don't think the Indian press, as a whole, really cares about India's international image when they report the news. But I believe, since Subrata Roy is in charge of Sahara, he is probably enforcing his views at all of Sahara owned news rooms. I bet he has the clout to do that. Although, you should know that I don't read or watch any of Sahara's news channels or papers to know for sure. But I doubt I'm wrong.

Also, though he makes his "emotional appeal" as a concerned citizen and a nationalist, I doubt his stated motives.

I am of the opinion that in India, you have to be poor and naive to be a flag waving Indian nationalist; how else can you buy into the idea. And since he is neither, I can't buy into his "I love my country" shtick.

So, I have my own alternative theory to why he wants the press to stop looking into financial irregularities in relation to the CWG.

Since the Sahara Group is also into the construction business, I bet they are one of the top contractors hired to build the infrastructure for CWG. And since you don't get to the top without breaking a few rules and greasing a few palms, I bet the Sahara Pariwar is worried that their dirty underhanded dealings with the CWG officials might get uncovered in the process.

I can't think of any other reason why Subrata "I'm screwing the Indian tax payer" Roy, would take out half a page ad in the newspaper, begging the press to stop looking into charges of corruption.

Because in reality I think, it is he, who is going through, a "withdrawal feeling."

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Remembering Hiroshima Bombing the Way it Should be

2010-08-07T13:19:00.002+05:30

[Left: Pilot and Crew of the plane that dropped the A-Bomb. Right: Poster for the HBO show, The Pacific, on the war with Japan.]

Today is the 65 anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima by the United States on 6 August 1945.

I thought I'd commemorate this historic day by watching an HBO docu-film on the US war with Japan in the Pacific during World War II. The docu-film is also aptly titled, "The Pacific". What better way to remember the day by looking at the events that led-up to that fateful, yet necessary event, in the form of a Hollywood produced TV show which is more like a documentary than a dramatized fictional piece of film.

No matter how horrific the consequences of dropping the A-bomb, in terms of human suffering, we all know the Japs had asked for it the day they, for no apparent reason, attacked a fleet of US warships anchored at Pearl harbor, just minding their own business on a sunny afternoon.

I still to this day can't figure out what got into those yellow belly Japs to just get up one day and decide to attack peace loving Americans, who had never even talked rudely to the Japs since the day America had asked them nicely to open their market to US goods.

Crazy Japs. I blame too much of Sushi and Saki for their crazy suicidal and homicidal behavior.

I guess that's enough sarcasm for one post.

An Ironic Observation on the Show

[The Commander in reference.]

There are five parts to the HBO mini-series "The Pacific". I've just finished watching the first part. There is one interesting observations I've made that I'd like to share.

There is a part where a bunch of newly commissioned officers are standing in a big room listening to their commander give them a, sort of a, commencement speech. And in that speech there is a line where the commander says, "The uniform that you wear and the (some) emblem that you have earned, will make the difference between freedom of the world and its enslavement."

Then a little while later into the show, they cut away to a mansion in Mobile, Alabama. (Represent.) And in this big house they show a teenage boy finding out that he has some heart defect which will make him ineligible for enlisting in the army, which, judging by his reaction, was "disheartening" to hear. (Pun intended, however, could not nail it. But the intention was there.)

Anyways, since they are rich white folks from the South, they have servants. And guess what; they have an all black domestic help. I don't think the creators had intended it, but the irony was too stark not to notice. I wonder what the black servants might have had to say if they could hear the commander speak.

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DSLTO's Third and Probably Last Issue is Out

2010-08-02T14:17:00.000+05:30

This is just to inform you that my other blog, Delhi Speaks Like This Only, is out with its next issue. If you haven't seen it, visit and read it now.

You can also read about its impending demise; I'm sad to say.

Feedback will be appreciated.

Link: "AIDS FOR KIDS" Winning Entry for Week July 24-30, 2010"

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Thus Spoke Abdusalaam

2010-07-31T23:23:00.003+05:30

[PODCAST: This post contains an embedded audio player. Audio Transcript below. You can also download the mp3 file from this Link: http://www.wikiupload.com/ZiuQ8evz]

[Abdusalaam alHindi]

Hello blogworld,

This is Abdusalaam al-Hindi speaking in his own voice for the very first time ever.

I know, I am as excited as you are.

Now you're probably wondering, is this really how he speaks? Does Abdusalaam really sound so constipated?

Well, Abdusalaam my avatar yes he does; but no, not me in real life. But it would be real cool if I did, don't you think so?

I believe it would help you to understand better, if I tell you the story on how I came up with this voice.

Sometimes when I read a blog online, and the blogger has a conversational writing "voice", then I try to read it the way he or she probably speaks. It just makes reading more fun.

Now a few days ago, I watched a video online of a Desi American Imaam deliver his sermon, at some Masjid in America. I don't want to mention his name because, you'll end up comparing my voice with his, which I do not want you to do right now.

But this man had such a peculiar way of speaking that later even after I had finished watching it, I could not get that voice out of my head. The man had made such a profound impact on my unconscious, that later, when I was proof reading my own latest blog post, I started to read it in the Imaam's voice.

I liked it so much that it made me wonder, what if my avatar, Abdusalaam, actually spoke like that; how cool would that be? If he had an actual voice, it would make him realer, more alive to my readers.

So moments later, the voice of Abdusalaam was born.

Tell me what you think about it. I'm dying to know.

If I get a good response, I'll make this a regular thing.

I also plan to add audio to my existing blog posts sometime soon. Look forward to it.

Until next time, this is Abdusalaam al-Hindi bidding you all a good day.

Peace Out!

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This Week's DSLTO Is Out

2010-07-28T10:39:00.001+05:30

This is just to inform you that my other blog, Delhi Speaks Like This Only, is out with its next issue. If you haven't seen it, visit and read it now.

Feedback will be appreciated.

Link: "City Hangout -- Cafe Turtle, Khan Market" Winning Entry for Week July 17-23, 2010"

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Conviction by Race; Acquittal by Gender

2010-07-26T18:44:00.005+05:30

[CIVIC DUTY. Israeli Apartheid Slogan.]

This post is in response to a comment by "Jewboy."

"Jewboy: I honestly don't know what to say to this [News story:] "Saber Kushour: 'My conviction for "rape by deception" has ruined my life.'"

For those unaware, the news article he is referring to, is about an Arab man being convicted of "rape by deception" in Israel. A crime that has landed the Arab man in jail for 18 months.

An Israeli Jewish woman accused an Arab man of deceiving her into having sex, by leading her to believe that he was Jewish himself. Thus, ruining her chances of ever getting married to a good Jew lawyer, who also volunteers at the temple on Sunday and not Saturday, because he also strictly observes the Sabbath. [That last bit isn't entirely true.]

First off Jewboy, as a resident Jew on this blog, you should be the one who should have something to say. Ha!

Second, you'll find it interesting to know that I had thought of writing something on this particular news story the other day but decided against it because I thought people would think I was somehow making a justification for the acceptability of sex under false pretenses.

And if there is anything Abdusalam fears on this blog, is tarnishing his saint like image. That said, I'm still not going to say much besides making a comparison to another related news story.

But before I do tell you about it, I'll just say what is abhorrently obvious here. What we have here is a clear case of racism and apartheid. Simple as that. I have nothing more to add.

But what made this incident even more interesting, for me personally, was when I heard the following news on Indian TV the next day.

Via The Telegraph:

Nagpur, July 23 (PTI): Having sexual relations with a woman on a false promise of marriage does not amount to rape, Bombay High Court has ruled.

Justice Ambadas Joshi passed the rulings, acquitting a forest officer who was sentenced for having sexual relations with a girl under the pretext of marriage. [Link]

Dilemma right?

In both cases, there is use of deception. So, if you disagree with the Indian ruling, which I do, then for the same reasons you'll have to agree with the Israeli ruling. Though, in India's case I think male chauvinism might have played a role in the man's acquittal.

Now I know what you're probably thinking, and I totally agree.

It's is not as simple as that. In Israel's case it's not just deception which makes him guilty. The fact he's Arab is what makes his deception criminal. If he had been, let's say, Chinese, it wouldn't be a crime. And the Jew girl is even reported to have claimed in the article, that "she would not have had sex with him had she known he was an Arab."

The problem for her is that he was Arab. Not that she was deceived. For someone who hooks-up with guys at stores is probably used to guys pretending to be what they're not.

So in closing, let me just state -- I do believe it should be a crime to deceive someone into having sex. But that said, deception should be the sole basis for the conviction.

The People rest, your Honor. *Gong*

[Join us next week in another exciting episode of Law and Order: Criminal Deception.]

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Mad Men Makes a Comeback

2010-07-23T21:31:00.003+05:30

[Mad Men Season 4. Image: AMCTV.com]

Have you heard the word?! (No bird is not the word.) AMC is bringing back the show Mad Men! Season four is supposed to premiere this Sunday.

I don't know why, but I was under the impression that the show was over. I could have sworn they said the last season was the final season. No matter, I'm just glad it's not over because I really like that show. Besides its great script, actors and an awesome opening theme [video], I think there is something about the era it is set in that makes it even better.

Also, unlike before, this time around I believe I'll have somebody to discuss the show with, because back in the previous seasons I didn't know anyone who liked watching it, and I'd just end up raving about it to myself, which is sad I know. However, this time, I think I know someone who finds the show as interesting as I do and would like to discuss it.

If you're reading this, then yes, I am talking about you -- you industry insider, you 21st century Desi "Mad Man."

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I Write Like Cory Doctorow They Tell Me

2010-07-22T18:30:00.006+05:30

[Image Credit: http://blog-blond.blogspot.com (CC)]

There is a website called I Write Like, which claims to analyze and compare your writing with published authors in their database, and then tells you who you write like.

It is a recently launched website from what I've read, and it has already gained considerable internet popularity. According to their site, they reached a one million visitors mark yesterday.

So naturally, I wanted to try it out myself. To see who I write like. Again, like I said in my previous post, it's all in the name of investigative journalism. My readers have the right to know. (wink, wink)

So I take a copy of my previous blog post, "Getting High on Digital Marijuana," and paste it in the box for analysis. Following is the the result I got.

Yes people, what you're probably thinking right now is exactly what I said then, "Who in the literary world is Cory Doctorow? And more importantly, why does he write like me?"

Thankfully, they had some suggested books by the author on Amazon which led me to the author's biography page. I quote it below:

Via Amazon.com

[Cory Doctorow]

"Biography: Canadian-born Cory Doctorow has held policy positions with Creative Commons and the Electronic Frontier Foundation and been a Fulbright Fellow at the University of Southern California. He is a co-editor of the popular weblog BoingBoing (boingboing.net), which receives over three million visitors a month. His science fiction has won numerous awards, and his YA novel LITTLE BROTHER spent seven weeks on the New York Times bestseller list."

So apparently, I write like nobody famous; just some blogger on BoingBoing. Which brings up an interesting question. Why is he even on their database? I read they only analyzed writings to famous authors. So how did he get on it? He's not that famous.

To test their claim, I thought I'd try another post and see if I get the same result. Let's see how well they've pegged me.

This time I copied and pasted my "Abdu Has Fallen Sick" post, to which I get the result that I write like Dan Brown.

That's even worse than Cory Doctorow! At least with Doctorow, I don't know if he sucks as a writer.

Not giving up till I get something I like, I tried another piece of my writing. This time I copied and pasted my, "An Afghani in an Indian Shop" post.

Result: Rudyard Kipling.

OK, not exactly what I was hoping for, but still acceptably good. I can live with Kipling.

So what's the conclusion of this experiment you may ask?

Well, if the website is to be believed, I suffer from MPWD -- Multiple Personality Writing Disorder.

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Getting High on Digital Marijuana

2010-07-21T20:08:00.005+05:30

Ever heard of "iDosing" before?

I'm assuming not.

Well, niether had I till I read about it in the paper on Saturday.

[Album Cover for I-Doser.com]

According to the ToI article titled, "iDosing: Digital way to a high without drugs", there is a website called I-Doser.com that offers audio files for download which, when listened to repetitively in a quite dark room, can induce a hallucinogenic mental state. A digital high, so to speak. And it is completely legal.

Now if you're like me, you're probably saying to yourself, this cannot possibly be true. There is no way one can get high just by listening to an audio track. I know music can be soothing and relaxing, but can it cause hallucinogenic visions? No way, I say!

So in the name of investigative journalism, I felt obliged to find out.

I believe, given my past work, my blog readers have come to expect a certain kind of hard hitting, well researched blog posts from me, which they would expect from any respected journalist. And I can't let you guys down. I have a name to live up to.

So armed with my Sherlock like sense of deduction, and a Google search engine, I went on to score some digital drugs in the filthy porn infested back alleys of the World Wide Web.

A few links and sins later into my search, I hit the jackpot. I find an audio track titled "iDoser - Digital Marijuana HQ," which clearly tells you that it ain't your garden variety marijuana; the HQ stands for, "this is premo shit."

Well, right now, I can't confirm whether it is what it claims to be or not because I haven't tried it out yet. I thought I'd listen to it as I write this post and write the affect it will have on me as I listen to it.

OK, let's setup the atmosphere in the room first.

Making sure all sort of distractions are turned off. Cellphone, Email, Instant Messenger, Twitter are all turned off.

Now turning the lights off.

Alright, now I think we have a perfect environment to carry out our "experiment."

The track is 10 minutes long. So, I'll try to update every few minutes.

So here goes nothing. I press play -- now.

Update 1 minute into the track: OK, first off, it's not music. I thought it would be some sort of soothing music. But no. It's just undulating white noise. I should have known though, because the article did say it was an "atonal" sound track. I, however, just assumed it was science for Kick-Ass.

Update 4 minutes into the track: I'm yet to feel or experience anything. I just feel a little annoyed with the white noise.

Update 6 minutes into the track: I can't say for sure, but I think I just felt something. A slight change in mood.

Update 10 minutes into the track: The track just ended with nothing much to add. However, I do feel a slight change in my mood. The article did say you have to listen to it over and over to feel the effect. Maybe if I listen to it a few more times it might actually work. Let me give this a few more runs and I'll get back to you.

Update 30 minutes: Whoa! this shit is definitely having an affect. I feel so light. The light on my screen is SO bright. And I feel so relaxed. Whoa, I must be typing like a 100 words per minute right now. But my fingers are moving like the wings of a humming bird in slow motion.

Update 45 minutes: Man, I think it is happening! Auditory hallucinations are kicking in. I can hear Kurt Cobain singing "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

Update 60 minutes: I DON'T BELIEVE MY EYES! I'M HALLUCINATING! I CAN SEE A FULL ON DOUBLE RAINBOW IN MY ROOM! OH MY GOD THIS IS SO INTENSE! WHOA! A FRIGGIN DOUBLE RAINBOW! ALL THE WAY! IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL! SO VIVID!

Update 90 minutes: QUICK, SOMEBODY CALL 911, I THINK I'M OVERDOSING ON iDOSING!

Now I can see the entire Nirvana band on top of the rainbow singing their song. And why is Courtney Love in this vision? And why is she looking at me like that? I'm afraid. I want my mommy.

Whoops. I think it is too late for me. I'm already starting to wonder what the double rainbow means.

What does it mean?

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Delhi Speaks Like This Only's First Edition is Out Today

2010-07-19T21:59:00.001+05:30

This is just to inform you that my other blog, Delhi's Speaks Like This Only, published its first issue today. If you haven't seen it, visit and read it now.

Feedback will be appreciated.

Link: "Musings of an Octopus Vulgaris." Winning Entry for Week July 10-16, 2010

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My Palsy-Walsy, Let's Talk About Bell's Palsy

2010-07-15T15:28:00.003+05:30

Now that I have learned more about my illness, I believe it is time to share and educate. I'm sure most of us, just like me, must not have even heard of an illness called Bell's Palsy before. So take this opportunity and learn a little.

Also, at the end of the post I'll reveal a famous person who has had Bell's Palsy as well. The name might surprise you.

Instead of me trying to explain what it is, I'll let the experts explain it better. I quote below the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, National Institute of Health, USA, website.

"What is Bell's Palsy?

Bell's palsy is a form of temporary facial paralysis resulting from damage or trauma to one of the facial nerves. It is the most common cause of facial paralysis. [It is named after a 17 century Scottish anatomist, named Charles Bell.] Generally, Bell's palsy affects only one of the paired facial nerves and one side of the face, however, in rare cases, it can affect both sides. Symptoms of Bell's palsy usually begin suddenly and reach their peak within 48 hours. Symptoms range in severity from mild weakness to total paralysis and may include twitching, weakness, or paralysis, drooping eyelid or corner of the mouth, drooling, dry eye or mouth, impairment of taste, and excessive tearing in the eye. Bell’s palsy often causes significant facial distortion. Most scientists believe that a viral infection such as viral meningitis or the common cold sore virus -- herpes simplex-- causes the disorder when the facial nerve swells and becomes inflamed in reaction to the infection.

What is the prognosis?

The prognosis for individuals with Bell's palsy is generally very good. The extent of nerve damage determines the extent of recovery. With or without treatment, most individuals begin to get better within 2 weeks after the initial onset of symptoms and recover completely within 3 to 6 months." [Source]

That last bit about 3 to 6 months for full recovery was bit of a bummer. That's something my doctor didn't tell me. But anyways, as long as there is full recovery, I can deal with it.

So there you have it; now you know more about Bell's Palsy than you'll ever want to know. Which is a good thing I suppose because my doctor tells me this is a fairly common illness and you are bound to run into someone who would have it, or might have had it. So when you do, you'll be better informed.

If you care to learn more about the condition, you can visit this special British website, completely dedicated to Bell's Palsy. Website: http://www.bellspalsy.org.uk/

Now let's talk about the sexier side of Bell's Palsy.

What? You didn't think there was a sexier side to this illness? That's the problem with you Non-Belle's (sic), (That's what we Belle's call you people behind your back who have yet to experience the touch of Bell.)

So as I was saying, that's the problem with you Non-Belles, you guys can be so naive sometimes. It makes us Belles wonder how you people even manage to get dressed in the morning. Life must be really hard for you non-Belles.

Well anyways, getting back; according to Wikipedia and many other sources online, some of the most sexy people alive have had Bell's Palsy. In fact, some have had said, it was only after they were touched by the power of Bell that they got their unique beautiful look which really set them off to fame and fortune. Among the most famous are George Clooney, Pierce Brosnan and Katie Holmes.

[BRAVE FACE: George Clooney has had Bell's palsy. Image: Artist Quirk]

If you notice closely, I think you can still tell which side of his face was affected.

Also, now that I've planted this bit of information about Clooney in your subconscious, I hope it doesn't distract you while you watch George Clooney movies. Ha!

*****  

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Abdu Has Fallen Sick

2010-07-09T07:43:00.005+05:30

I bring you shocking news dear readers. And before I tell you what it is, I just want you to remember that it is not as bad as it sounds. (Or maybe it is and I'm just saying that to keep my spirits high. You be the judge.)

I have been afflicted with a condition that has left the left side of my face in a near complete state of paralysis.

I kid you not folks. The entire left side of my face has been left immobilized. It is like somebody played a real cruel joke on me with Botox. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, let me relate to you of how I learned of my condition.

When I woke up in the morning the other day, I went to the bathroom to wash my face. When I tried to shut my eyes as I splashed water on it, my left eye didn't shut and the water went inside it. Not understanding what had happened, I tried to do it again. But like the first time, I was faced with the same result. I eventually could shut my left eye but it took a lot of effort and still didn't shut completely. That was the moment I realized something was horribly wrong.

I had sensed something was wrong from the moment I woke up because I could feel the left side of my face being pulled to the side the moment I opened my eyes. I simply dismissed it thinking, I must have slept on the side of my face for too long and that's why my face felt weird. It'll be back to normal by the time I'm done washing my face, I assured myself.

Now I'm sure what you're thinking right now is what I was thinking then, which is -- Am I having a stroke? From what I know, this is exactly what happens when people have a stroke right? However, if I am having a stroke, then why doesn't it feel like I am. I did have a headache but that was it. Besides my face, I was feeling OK. I couldn't understand it.

Obviously then I went to see a doctor. And here is the good news. (I know the qualifier "good" here sounds a bit out of place, but believe me, compared to what I was thinking was happening to me, the use of the word "good," here qualifies.)

According to a reputable Neurologist in Delhi, I've caught some form of a viral infection which has left me looking like Two-Face from Batman. If I wasn't so camera shy on this blog I would've put up a picture of me trying to smile, and you would've known what I meant.

When I try to smile, only the right side of my face shows any expression, while the left side doesn't even twitch. Which makes the right side of my smiling face ask the left side of my non-smiling face, the ever-so-famous question -- Why so serious?

Kidding aside, my doctor tells me, a regimen of drugs to kill the infection and a few weeks of facial exercise will bring my face back to my usual husn-e-Yusuf looking self. A face so hypnotically handsome that the mere sight of my mug can leave women in a trance.

If you think I'm making it up, just remember, I didn't get into Derek Zoolander's School for Ridiculously Good Looking People Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, based on a written test, now did I?

Futurama Satirizes the Apple iPhone

2010-07-07T17:13:00.000+05:30

[TWITCHER FOLLOWERS. Futurama. Image: Video Grab.]

Futurama's commentary on society and culture through the use of satire sometimes is more insightful and enlightening than any seriously written article by an expert. Its latest episode titled, "Attack of the Killer App." is one those episodes.

The show skillfully points out how the marketing of the Apple iPhone have made people into mindless zombies hungry for everything Apple doles out. There are so many drawbacks to the device and yet people are willing to pay or do anything for it.

They also take on the Twitter phenomena. How most tweets are about inane stuff and links to silly viral videos.

Although the episode is mainly about the insanity relating to the iPhone, and more broadly related to the online social culture; there is, however, even a more interesting issue they deal with on an aside.

They comment on how the developed world exports their hazardous waste to third world countries like India, under the guise of recycling. While in these third world countries they have no effective systems of "recycling" in place, so with their crude recycling methods they end up contaminating their environments. All for a little profit.

Here is a link to the torrent file you can use to download the episode.Torrent: "Attack of the Killer App"

Also, from the same episode, watch the best iPhone ad yet. Youtube: Futurama eyePhone Ad.

Discovery of Baruch Spinoza

2010-07-06T15:06:00.000+05:30

Image via Wikipedia

This post is more for myself than for anybody else. The reason I write this post is to mark the time in my life when I discovered a man from history named Baruch Spinoza. I have read very little about him but I already know he will be an influence on me.

A Philosopher Unlike Other

I've been reading this book titled, The Story of Philosophy by Will Durrant. (Buy at Amazon.) And in this book, I just read the chapter on a philosopher by the name of Spinoza. (I pronounce the name as it is written in Portugese, Espinosa, because that is how I heard it said the first time I heard someone mention his name.) I had heard of the name before, but I knew absolutely nothing about him or his philosophy.

Although, the book only gives us an overview of the man and his philosophy, there is enough there to know that you are reading about a man who has an extraordinary mind. A man who has left great wisdom in his writings, just waiting for us to be read and understood.

The joy and excitement I'm feeling at this discovery and the prospect of reading his work soon, can be best explained in Spinoza's own words.

I quote Will Durrant, quoting Spinoza:

"He [Spinoza] begins by making happiness the goal of conduct; and he defines happiness very simply as the presence of pleasure and the absence of pain. But pleasure and pain are relative, not absolute; and they are not states, but transitions.

'Pleasure is man's transition from a lesser state of perfection (i.e., completeness or fulfillment) 'to a greater.' 'Joy consists in this, that one's power is increased.' 'Pain is man's transition from a greater state of perfection to a lesser. I say transition; for pleasure is not perfection itself: if a man were born with the perfection to which he passes he would be without ... the emotion of pleasure. And the contrary to this makes it still more apparent.'

All passions are passages, all emotions are motions, towards or from completeness and power." [pp 137-138. The Story of Philosophy. 1953]

Impact of Language on Our Perception of Color

2010-07-03T12:01:00.000+05:30

Language: Key to a Different World

For quite some years now, I've been of the opinion that languages are keys to a whole new world. (Did I just sound like Aladdin there?) A world that cannot be fully translated but is only accessible to those who know the language. What makes these worlds different is that people from different cultures have a different way of looking at things. A different perspective of the same reality. This fact is common knowledge. However, to know how the world looks from another perspective, you have know the language. Because it is language that acts as the lens which enables you to see the world from a different point of view.

Most readers of this blog, I suspect, are bilingual and would agree to what I say. If you're not, then take it from somebody who can safely say that he is familiar with three very distinct languages; namely Urdu/Hindi, English and to a less degree, Arabic. And also from someone who has spent some time trying to learn Turkish, Spanish and French.

Scientific Study on Perception of Color

On the subject of languages and its affect on perception, I recently read a really interesting blog post on BoingBoing titled, "Seeing Languages Differently." The author of the post, Dr. Michael Shaughnessy, a professor of something to do with languages at some American college, states, "How we see the world impacts our use of language, and our use of language impacts how we see the world." And to explain what he means, he looks at two aspects of the visual world: Color and Space, in the context of different cultures.

In this post my focus is on the color aspect and not space. Space, as it so happens, is a self-imposed constraint on this blog. (Did you see what I did there with the word "space?" Clever huh.)

Red Vs Blue

In order to highlight how color perceptions vary among different cultures, he uses the example of two sets of color, "Blue" and "Red."

First we take the example of the color Blue.

He says, "When you look at the following colors, typical native English speaking respondents will describe these two colors as existing with the range of colors we call 'blue'."

However, in the Russian language, he tells us, "the blues above are distinct color categories." Dark blue (Siniy) is a distinct color from light blue (Goluboy). "Each of these color categories," he says, "has its own associated meanings, invoking a specific thought for many Russians."

Then he takes the example of Red and Pink.

On the flip side he tells us, Chinese see Red and Pink in the same linguistic color category. For the Chinese, Pink is a lighter shade of Red. Therefore, the Chinese word for pink is a derivative of the word for Red. Red is Hong and Pink is Fen-Hong.

While in English, as any English speaker would already know, Red and Pink represent two distinct color categories. Like blues do in Russian.

Now this is where the article takes an interesting twist for me, and probably for you too.

My Perception of Red and Pink

As I read that last statement made by the professor, I was surprised. I expressed my astonishment in the following way:

"Now wait a cotton pickin' minute there professor. What the HELL do you mean English speakers see Red and Pink as two distinct color categories?! Since when?" [I can be over dramatic like that sometimes.]

Although, the two colors, Red and Pink, are not linguistically related in English, but I ask you, who sees Red and Pink representing two distinct color categories and not existing within the range of the same color we call Red? Don't we all see Pink as a lighter shade of Red? Just as in the example of Blue?

Do native English speakers actually see Red and Pink as two distinct color categories, as we would see, let's say for example, Yellow and Green?

If so, then can it be that the reason why I see them as part of a single color category is because of the impact my primary language has had on my perception of color?

If that is the case then it would make sense I guess, because the word for Pink in Urdu is Gulaby, which I believe is a derivative of the word Gulab, meaning Rose in English. And since roses are usually thought to be Red in color, I see the color Pink as part of the same color category as red.

Do you think I'm onto something here?

Do you, Urdu/Hindi speakers, also see the color Red and Pink the way I do?

Tell me about it. I'd like to know.

Thank You Google For Making Blogger As Good As WordPress

2010-07-02T15:26:00.002+05:30

For a very long time Blogger's blogging platform has paled in comparison to WordPress. However, for the past few months I've been noticing that Google has been making a lot of improvements to Blogger.

Blogger had those same boring template designs since Google took over Blogger many years ago. But recently Blogger added a few better looking new customizable templates to their repertoire of templates, like the one I'm using right now.

Then they added the stand alone pages which I had wished for since I had seen it on Wordpress blogs the first time. Then they paired up with Amazon to bring in their affiliate program. There has been a lot more smaller improvements which I can't even recall right now.

Among the best addition to the software, however, has been the ability to add widgets. Customizing your blog has become so easy that a monkey in his pajamas, eating a banana in one hand can do it. You have no idea how difficult it was before when you had to monkey around with the HTML code of the template to make any changes.

But what has prompted this post is Blogger's newest feature.

[Blogger's Stats Tab]

Google has answered the prayers of so many bloggers by adding the "Stats" feature. Now Blogger will keep track of all your blog stats like Page views, Traffic source, Audience and more. And all of this information will be easily accessible in one place called the "dashboard."

Right now I already have a stats gathering app. installed on this blog, but StatCounter only offers a limited amount of log space. So I have access to only the most recent stats, which makes it hard for me compare the blogs performance from now, to let's say last year. And apparently that will not be the case with Blogger. They will store all your stats for you to see for as long as the blog exists. I just wish they had started doing this a lot earlier.

So anyways, I just want to take this space to thank Google for making Blogger as good a blogging platform as any available out there. Thanks for making my blogging experience a whole lot richer.

Thou Shalt Not Covet Your Neighbor's Oil

2010-07-01T14:29:00.005+05:30

[Site of the Deepwater Horizon disaster Wednesday, June 16, 2010. (AP Photo/Dave Martin)]

On the topic of American oil spill disaster; when you think about it, the catastrophe seems like poetic justice.

I know that might sound insensitive but you have to admit, it is not too much of a stretch to make that inference.

America has subverted governments, supported dictatorial regimes and destroyed nations with the single goal of getting as much oil as it can. And now the abundance of that same, black gold if you will, which they covet so dearly, is slowly poising them. If that isn't poetic justice then I don't know what is.

I can't help but be reminded of the Greek story of King Midas. Midas desired gold so much that he wished he could turn anything he touched into gold. But when he got his wish granted, he regretted and cursed his new found power. He couldn't eat because his food turned into gold as soon as he touched it. So he starved. (Not to death.)

I think considering American history in relation to oil, you could say that America is suffering from the Midas curse.

Trapped in an Elevator for 41 Never Ending Hours

2010-06-30T13:47:00.000+05:30

[Nicholas White]

The following embeded youtube video is apparently a popular video on the net. But I just happened to see it. So that's why I'm talking about it now.

According to the New Yorker, also the same people who uploaded the video, a 34 year old man named Nicholas White, took an elevator to go up to his office one evening in 1999 in NY city, and got stuck midway. He remained trapped in that elevator for an incredible 41 torturous-never-ending hours.

His entire harrowing ordeal was caught on the elevator's security camera. This brings up a good question. If there was a security camera in the elevator, then how come nobody saw him. Were those camera's unmonitored for two whole days? I hope somebody got fired at the end of it.

There is nothing much going on in the video besides him pacing, lying and waiting around to be rescued. But as you watch the video, you get chills run down your whole body. You rub your eyes in disbelief as you see the ticker for number of hours passed change from 1 to 6 to 12 to 24 and then finally 41. No horror movie has ever horrified me more than this video. There were times during the video I had to remind myself to breath. I was feeling claustrophobic just by looking at him.

You have to hand it to the guy, he remained calm and collected for almost two whole days. Something I cannot imagine myself doing. I would have lost my mind within 24 hours. I hope he got some kind of award or something.

You can read the New Yorker article here -- "Up and then Down."
And watch the video here -- "Trapped in an elevator for 41 hours."

POST SCRIPT: After I was done writing this post I noticed there was literally more to the New Yorker article than I had believed there it to be. I didn't see there was another page to it. So without having to rewrite the whole post I'll just write what I have to say here as an addendum.

So as I read on, I read something interesting said by a producer of the show "Monk." David Hoberman, the producer, has a phobia of elevators. And he, trying to explain his fear says, “I don’t have a fear of dying in an elevator, or of the elevator losing control—I have a fear of being stuck with my mind.” When I read that I felt like I knew what he was talking about. I think I know what he means because I've experienced something similar.

Back in America, I would sometimes have days, granted quite rarely, where I would not utter a single word in Urdu. An entire day would pass by and I would not have gotten a chance to speak to anyone in Urdu, only English. This usually happened when I would go to work or school during the day where I would not meet any desi and would end up speaking only in English all day. Then later in the day, comeback home to find myself alone in the house. Without focusing too much on how or why this happened, just know that it did.

Since obviously English is a second language, I think in Urdu, not English, or whatever form of pidgin that passes for Urdu with people like me. Also, this must be common with everyone, when you're not speaking you're not actually quite. You start speaking in your mind. Which is called thinking I guess. The longer you keep that voice inaudible the louder it gets in your head. I don't know why but the mind goes into over drive when you remain quite for too long.

So after an entire day of not speaking in my own voice or not speaking at all some evenings, I would start feeling like I was trapped. Trapped in my own mind. I would go so deep in my mind that I would start losing awareness of my surroundings. In other words, I would start zoning out. And when that happened my way of dealing with it was usually to go to bed and sleep.

Now I'm sure there must be other things I could have done to deal with it, like call somebody or go to a friend's place or whatever. But you have to understand, I didn't consciously think about it then. It's just now, when I read what Hoberman said, did I think about it. For me it's not a phobia, but I think I understand what Hoberman is afraid of. It's a fear of being trapped inside your mind.

Salman Ahmed's Not So Inspiring New Album - Rock n Roll Jihad

2010-06-29T12:50:00.000+05:30

I'm a HUGE fan of Salman Ahmed's music. I love the music and lyrics he creates. He is the best Rock musician to come out of Pakistan in my opinion.

That said, I think he is a horrible, horrible singer. Since he started singing his own songs, he's been ruining the name of Junoon single-handedly.

Just like his previous album, Infiniti, he has managed to make great songs sound mediocre by singing them himself.

[Why Salman, why? Why do you insist on singing. Bring back Ali Azmat, no one can do justice to your songs besides him. But I beg you, stop singing.]

Speaking of Ali Azmat, the problem with him is just the opposite of Salman Ahmed's. Ali's songs don't have the same kind of deep, artsy feel that Salman has in his albums. He sounds too... pop, if you know what I mean. But, boy can he sing. This is one reason I still listen to some of the tracks from Ali's last album Klashnifolk, and rarely listen to any tracks from Salman's previous album Infiniti.

But coming back to Salman's new album Rock 'n' Roll Jihad, it doesn't have much new to offer. Most of the tracks are a rehash work of his Junoon songs. There are a couple of new songs, but they are in English. That's another thing I never liked about Salman or Ali. They cannot pull off songs in English and yet they insist on doing them. I don't understand why.

Junoon's No More is a track I'm still trying to make sense of. I have no clue what Ali is singing about. I just wish they would sing in English, no more.

Out of the three English tracks, Love Can You Take Me Back is much better and bearable to listen than Time and Why. (Why is exactly what I was asking as I listened to it.)

Love Can... even has a strange music video. In the video, I couldn't figure out if those two were aliens who had landed on earth, or humans who had landed on an alien planet. I'm guessing aliens on earth since they find Salman singing on an iPad looking device.

In conclusion, if you're a fan like me, you should download his new album. If not for the music than out of sheer loyalty. However, if you're not a big fan, then I suggest you make a pass. There's not much there to listen.

'The IT Crowd' Makes a Comeback on BBC

2010-06-27T18:02:00.002+05:30

[The IT Crowd]

I bring great news people; a new season of BBC's hit show The IT Crowd has made a comeback. The first episode of the season 4 actually aired last Friday, which I just finished watching, and it is as funny as we've come to expect.

My favorite line in this episode was when Jen is going through the pictures of Roy and his girl-friend, and she notices that he has photoshopped his girl-friend out of all the pictures. And at this Moss comments, "It's like someone broke up with Stalin." Ha! Priceless!

For those who've not heard of the show before, I cite the all knowing website, aka Wikipedia.

"The IT Crowd is set in the offices of Reynholm Industries, a fictional British corporation in central London. It focuses on the shenanigans of the three-strong IT support team located in a dingy, untidy and unkempt basement – a stark contrast to the shining modern architecture and stunning London views enjoyed by the rest of the organization."

People say it's a show for geeks since many of the jokes are what computer nerds would find funny. However, I don't think that's an accurate description. I believe their gags can be understood and be appreciated by all who are part of the popular culture.

And there is something special about Brit humor the American's can't pull-off. They tried to do it with The Office, but what the American's managed to get was something very different, nothing like the original. If you haven't seen the original BBC version, I highly recommend you do. It is much better than the NBC version.

Anyways, if you'd like, you can watch all the previous episodes on BBC's Ch 4 youtube channel. (Watch 'The IT Crowd' on youtube. You'll probably need a UK proxy server to watch them if it doesn't run.)

Also, another great thing about the show is its opening theme. I couldn't find an mp3 available online to link to, but I did find a remix to the opening theme, which is as good as the actual theme. Listen to it here -- The IT Crowd - Remix [mp3]

If you're reading this and you're already a fan of the show, then testify in the comment section. Let yourself be known.

I HATE THE GOD DAMN FRENCH!

2010-06-22T23:42:00.000+05:30

[The World Cup is over for Raymond Domenech and his humiliated France team after losing their final match 2-1 against South Africa. Photo: Euronews.net]

This blog is in mourning. There will be no updates for a couple of days.