The Sculptor's Masterpiece

mummies and thingummies

2009-11-26T23:21:00.000+05:30

So my mom recently started using the home computer a lot. And one day while I was chatting with her -

Mom: where is the question marki am not able to locate

me: it is beside '>'

to the right of that i think

to the left of 'shift' key

shift key is below 'enter' key

and when you have to use the question mark - you use shift + that button

Mom: ? got it

me: yessss

congratulations :D

clap clap :D

Cute eh?!

500 Lire

2009-09-25T15:52:00.002+05:30

A young man, in his late twenties, stares at the note proudly. He is happy and is lost in the thickets of his memories. He is reminded of the 10-Km-walk to school in a small village near Bijapur, of cattle on his father’s field, of his grandmother who sported blatant favoritism towards him instead of showering her love equally among the four brothers…

A kid, in his pre-teen years, stares at the note proudly, given to him by his father. The note marks the first of the collection he is going to be madly driven by, in the years to come…
A girl, in her pre-teen years, stares at the note proudly. She is confused but at the same time elated by the possession which cost her just one cent. She is thankful for the addition to her eccentric collection and is also convinced that the kid is stupid...

A young man, in his early twenties, stares at the note proudly. He is happy to have the note back in his possession. He now owes her one cent...

Right Ho, Jeeves!

2009-08-26T16:58:00.000+05:30

I reckon I have been bally unfortunate not to have come across the works of Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse in my childhood (ahem!).

About a month ago, I bought ‘Right Ho, Jeeves!’. You see, one usually crushes to the feeling of obligation and guilt post the debit card swipe for the purchase, something that primarily motivates me to finish the book unless it’s an HP novel. Now what makes this book particularly shag-worthy (Pardon me, but I could not think of a better word) is the artistic play of words and the humour that conceives owing to its apt verbosity.

The story in no way is extraordinary or mind-bloggling or any other word that would indicate that the story is extraordinary. Bertram Wooster (the supporting character) takes up the task of pairing two couples and creates a mess of the whole situation, only to find Jeeves (Ladies and Gentlemen, the protagonist) sorting the rummy situation later. It is only the writing style that keeps one hooked up till the end.

Another thing that I liked about the novel is author’s usage of word ‘Love’ in place of the word like crush or infatuation (The usage is seen a lot more in ‘The Inimitable Jeeves’). Archaic but genuine of those times when ‘love at first sight’ and poetry was enough to get the girl betrothed to the guy. Bring it into the present time and we have commitment issues and ‘thank you’ as a reply to I Love You! (Been watching a lot of two and a half men lately.)

Anyway, that’s that. Overall a good book and a must read, at least one from the Jeeves and Wooster series.

Toodles!

Smart Site

2009-08-11T18:49:00.002+05:30

My cell was out of balance and hence was messaging from youmint.com. Doubting if the service was active, I tried messaging myself. This is what appears after clicking SEND-

Click on the image for a better view.

What is freedom?

2009-08-11T13:10:00.000+05:30

Freedom is when you sport boxers instead of briefs.

Love Aaj Kal...

2009-08-04T10:44:00.005+05:30

...sucks!

The director obviously could not correct Saif’s acting in every frame for obvious reasons
-He was the producer
-The director must have given up after an initial set of corrections

Anyway, the acting was definitely not a benchmark to an amateur entrant to even suck in the industry. Deepika Padukone’s acting was good, assuming the role required an expressionless and I-just-like-to-look-blank acting. She was not bad, or may be I am just biased because of her hot bod.

The movie shows two stories running in parallel but separated in the temporal dimension. Rishi Kapoor mentors Jai (Saif) with anecdotes from his own love story. The Saif in pagadi is Rishi Kapoor’s character in his twenties. It’s a love story which deserved good acting, but the production behavioral economics screwed it all. Also a speedy showcase of the whole movie at the start with jumbled up scenes and abrupt changes might seem redundant and confusing. But I’ll suggest you hang in there, for you would have already paid 100 bucks and are dumb enough to watch it after this review.

Saif - I am producing a movie in which I am gonna be in the lead role. I will try to look young, and act good, but hey! I can’t guarantee. I am just giving you money.

Director – Yeah whatever! Deepika Padukone and Saif Ali Khan… OMG, the movie is going to be a blockbuster!

3G Spectrum Auctions

2009-08-01T14:22:00.002+05:30

In the 7th chapter of the Undercover Economist, The Men Who Knew the Value of Nothing, the author speaks about the concept of game theory used in the process of auctions. Curiosity hand-in-hand with my joblessness got me to research a bit about it. The Biggest Auction Ever: the Sale of the British 3G Telecom Licences.

Before that, I’ll re-request you to buy the book and give it a read.

This particular case study speaks about the 3G Spectrum Auction that was held in UK in 2000. Three years prior to the auction, economists Ken Binmore and Paul Klemperer were assigned the job of tailoring the auction for UK - a decision that paid the government handsomely. The auction was a huge success with earnings of about £23 Billion (2.5% of GNP), all most eight times the initial estimate of £3 Billion.

I have never really appreciated the beauty of economics until I came across this auction and its outcome. An adaptation of simultaneous ascending design was employed, where in, all the licenses were auctioned simultaneously with a bidder bidding for only one license. The winner is not decided until only one bidder is left for the particular license and the price being the last bid.

The economics of the auction - since there were already four incumbents of the 2G telecom industry as potential bidders, and with the engineering team’s initial promise of four licenses, it was feared that the incumbents would be the obvious winners (for less price/bid) owing to the established market and telecom infrastructure for 2G. Obviously, this forethought would have been thought to be a discouragement to the new entrants to bid in the auctions had there been only four licenses and hence a different untested strategy would have been considered.

But later when a fifth license was also being promised, it was possible for a new entrant to purchase a license (this license was apparently a good one, second largest bandwidth among the five). And since prices always get decided marginally, the marginal bidding (the bidding for the fifth license in this case) made sure that the bids increase for all the licenses in each round. How it works is, when the new entrants are given a fair opportunity to get a license, it gave them an incentive to bid aggressively owing to the fact that they have nothing to lose (the initial deposit was refundable in the event of losing). And with that the incumbents always had to bid higher in each round for their respective target licenses in order to ensure participation in the auction. So what ensued was a tiresome auction (for the economists who designed it) which began on 6th March 2000 and went on till 27th April 2000, with 150 rounds, until the second bidders for all the licenses backed out leaving the winners to claim their prize. All the four incumbents did manage to secure themselves a license each but at a very high price. Like I said, it worked out pretty well for the government.

This left me thinking as to what might be a possible loophole-free design for India’s 3G auction. Now, the auction is around the corner and no one really knows how far down the timeline does that indicate. However, with a reservation for the new entrants in case the number of licenses is more than the incumbents in India or a simple ascending design (with a company allowed to bid for only one license) if the number is less than the number of incumbents planning to bid should work out in the favour of the government. Vodafone, Airtel, Reliance, Cellone and Tata Indicom are the India’s major cellular service provider with other major regional providers like Aircel in Tamil Nadu, Idea in North India, Dolphin in Mumbai etc. And since the number of incumbent bidders per state would be more than the licenses available for bidding in that state, the second design would seem apt. I can only anticipate as far as this, I am looking forward to the auction.

On a lighter note, regarding auctions, apparently in 193 AD the Praetorian assassins auctioned the roman throne and the winner was a Praetor by the name of Didius Julianus. Sweet huh?!

The Undercover Economist by Tim Harford

2009-07-30T10:29:00.000+05:30

I could not wait till the end of book which, by the way, does not speak of its failure to capture my concentration allowing me to finish it in one go but rather speaks for its relevance to the real life and my conscious deceleration for crystal clear understanding. Have to mention - the book is simply a delightful read. I suggest you buy a copy now!

Review coming up in the next post.

PS: The undercover economist is also an editorial column in FT by the author.

End of an Era

2009-07-21T18:31:00.008+05:30

The tears marked the end of an era. The waiting in front of the bookstores and the discussions in umpteen forums were short-lived but each characterized a brotherhood of the aficionados which protected the Holy grail of this franchise. The Holy Grail in this case was nothing but madness.

A madness unparalleled in the cosmic history owing to mere brilliance exhibited by the author and its colossal theme - magical fantasy. Now, I just turned 21 and let's face it, I am not getting any younger and the grail I speak of, will continue to rest with me only for a modicum of time to come. Ergo, before I 'grow up', I would like to express my sincere gratitude towards J. K. Rowling for her immense contribution to the then fantasy-starved-world and to the generation which has grown along with Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley. I believe I speak for all the grandmasters and the newbies around the world when I say, Thank you!

Hung over

2009-07-13T11:10:00.010+05:30

Now that's a movie to watch. A movie that induces pain in the stomach with laughter and mercilessly, at that. One just cannot, mark my words, cannot dislike the movie, or even say, "Aah, it was okay!” Because that would be a blasphemy towards Heather Graham (Jade, the stripper), Bradley Cooper (Phil, the school teacher), Ed Helms (Stu, a dentist), Zach Galifianakis (Alan, just Alan), the baby, Mike Tyson and the whole concept of Bachelor party and the aftermath.

The soundtrack list was rich with celebrated songs by Rihanna (Live your life), Flo Rida (Right round), Baha Men (Who let the dogs out), Usher (Yeah) et al. The concept, albeit not-so-novel, was well executed and shot.

The Hangover is about three guys, Phil, Stu and Alan, who set out to Las Vegas to host a bachelor party for their friend, Doug (Justin Bartha). But they lose him over a night of revelry which followed an accidental intake of ruffies on the terrace, courtesy Alan and Black Doug. So, on the morrow, hangover sets in and the three don't have a clue about the previous night and Doug. Toothless Stu, a tiger in the bathroom, a baby crying in a closet, a hospital bracelet around Phil's wrist and a stolen police car is all they have to solve the mystery of the missing groom. A sequence of events, which also includes an awesome performance at Blackjack by Alan and Jade (who apparently got married to Stu the previous night), leads them to Black Doug and not White Doug, to their disappointment. And it is here, when Stu realizes on a comment by Black Doug, "Ruffies should be renamed to floories, because one finds himself on the floor next morning, and not on the roof", that White Doug, the groom has been on Caesar's Palace terrace all the while. They finally rescue Scorched Doug from the terrace and the movie gets over with the four (the three plus the groom) browsing through the pictures of previous night as the credits roll to the tune of Right Round.

Oh crap! SPOILER ALERT before all that!
Only one teensy little disappointment. Wish Heather Graham was shown a lot more.

Office Tidbits

2009-07-10T14:28:00.003+05:30

Company Restroom

One guy at a urinal, another walks in and occupies the urinal besides the first guy, not following the code of conduct. Ten seconds later...

Second guy to the first guy, "So, what are you thinking?!".

PS: I am neither of the guys. Was at another urinal, far far away, minding my business. Just happened to hear that bit.

Kambakkht Ishq movie review

2009-07-08T11:44:00.004+05:30

Kareena - Shaadi kyun ki? Ab kuch dino main tum pregnant ho jaaogi and then bachche!!!!
Amrita - (Genuinely surprised) Really?!!?

This was perhaps the funniest moment in the movie, after Akshay Kumar's (Viraaj) mention as the recipient of best stuntman award.

Coming to the review, the storyline sucks and so does overacting. Kareena Kapoor has always been good at that. Akshay slapping Amrita Arora also sucks, twice! Akshay's overacting sucks too. I mean, since overacting sucks anyway, Akshay's acting sucks. The movie sucks!

The sole good thing about the movie would be Kareena's and Amrita's figure. The only aspect that will not kill you by the end of the movie.

Happy Endings - A Myth

2009-07-06T13:43:00.004+05:30

IMHO, Samwise Gamgee will not remain a happy hobbit post his 13 month adventure with Mr. Frodo. Now, as depreciative as it sounds, it is only logical.

My theory is, for anyone, life will seem dull and boring post the extremities faced in an adventure. The Lord of the Rings ends with Sam heading back home to his wife and kids, which is, in absolute terms, a happy ending. But a change of perspective indicates otherwise.

Sam was a devoted gardener working for Bilbo and Frodo Baggins, who ends up accompanying Mr. Frodo on a mission to destroy the Ring. During his journey to the Mount Doom, he came across the Ringwraiths in the Shire and in the town of Bree; Elves, Men and Dwarfs in Rivendell; a Balrog and orks in the mines of Moria; more elves in the Elven forest of Lothlorien; Smeagol as a guide and Gollum as a schemer; Shelob, the spider in the pass of Cirith Ungol; more orks in Mordor; invisible Frodo who succumbed to the power of the Ring at the edge of the Cracks of Doom; lava from the volcano surrounding him; Eagles of the Misty Mountains carrying him after the demise of the Eye and yes, the EYE! Later, to top the misery, Sam is left behind while Frodo leaves on a ship to leave the middle earth.

After all this, getting up in the morning to be greeted by his wife and children, tending gardens and occasional parties in the hobbit-land, seems routine and dull on a regular and long term basis. Again IMO.

Even for Harry Potter novels, as happy as the epilogue sounds, for the characters it is not really a happy ending as much as it is a getting-back-to-a-normal-life ending. Harry, Ron and Hermione will miss the elements of extreme adventure (except the deaths) in day-to-day life post Deathly Hallows.

Ergo, happy ending, in my opinion, is a myth.

New York (2009) movie review

2009-07-02T11:04:00.007+05:30

SPOILER ALERT

The movie is about the detainment and abduction of thousands of brown skinned post 9/11. The plot summary can be wiki-ed. I would only like to point out a few things from the plot that bothered me during the movie-

1. The irony in the climax – Sam (John Abraham) drops the cell phone in order to save Maya (Katrina Kaif) from detonation, but she ends up dead anyway because of the snipers. Also, I wish the director had paid attention to details when the writer killed off Maya. Towards the end when she is running towards Sam after he surrenders, she gets hit from the front which only indicates that the shots were intended towards her, which is ridiculous. Had she been hit from behind, it would have been understandable that she perhaps came in between the bullets and Sam and hence got hit. Anyway, her death in the film is not warranted (my sentiments towards the actress apart and also that we share the same birth date).
2. The film clearly depicts that life is not fair. Sam ended up dead without revenge, Maya was dead for no reason and worst of all, Omar ( Neil Nitin) lost almost everything including his friends and ended up with a boy to remind him of his loss for the rest of his life. Wow!
3. When Omar, ran up to the FBI building terrace to stop Sam from detonating the bombs, he could have simply started by saying, “Maya is in the building!” and saved the audience and Sam some time. How dumb can any character be?

Nawazuddin Siddiqui’s acting as Zilai is worthy of mention, whose lawyer was Maya.

The theme of the movie was exceptionally good and moving. With better actors and paying attention to details, an academy award for the best foreign film would have been inevitable :P.

GEindagi

2009-06-29T14:27:00.001+05:30

First day at internship.
Realised the value of a gmail account. Can't check mails from inside GE IIC building, which btw, looks really awesome.
But blogger and reader work fine.
Hyderabad is good. People are friendly when you get lost. And auto rickshaws run on meters.
Thinking about POPing Gmail to Outlook. In hopes that it will work.
Cheers to six month internships :P

A proud owner's journal - the part about sandals

2009-06-24T23:20:00.004+05:30

I would like to begin this post by thanking everyone in my wing who, at one point or another, has lent me his sandals over the past year. Yes, one year.

I finally went sandal shopping in Adyar. And I messaged two of my good friends (a guy and a girl) - "Should I buy leather sandals? ". Their replies -

Guy - Don't.

Girl - I dunno... That's soo vague. What leather? Woodland? Something else? Jodhpuri? How should I know?

Master card moment No. 2 ladies and gentlemen. CLAP CLAP

Continuing on the same topic - I messaged mom.

Me - Can I buy sandals?

Mom - Yes.

Me - worth 2000 rs.

Mom - No.

Me - worth 1390 rs.

Mom - No.

I figured it was best not to message anymore.

Cheers to the constituents of good life!

T equal to zero

2009-06-11T18:35:00.003+05:30

The origin of universe has been a matter of discussion not adhering to temporal boundaries. Astrophysicists and Cosmologists have proposed a couple of theories to explain the phenomenon -

1. The Big Bang - An explosion about 13.7 billion years ago at singularity. The theory explains (as stated by Wiki) - the universe has expanded from a primordial hot and dense initial condition and continues to expand to this day. The theory also states that the time started after singularity.

2. The formation and destruction of universe is a cyclical phenomena. Obviously, two more theories branch out of this, the cycle could have been initiated somehow at some finite time in the past and that marks the start of time OR the cycle existed without any start, obviously questioning the whole concept of time and other fundamentals which form the base of our measurements.

Here is my theory. But before that, my theory has no base whatsoever, which only reinforces the enormity and wildest possibilities relating to theories about the start of universe -

God sneezed (the picture ain't a pretty site). And phlegm is the matter in universe. The concept of parallel universes came about when god sneezed a lot of times creating multiple universes. The singularity here describes the moment just before the sneezing and hence the start of time. This theory particularly syncs with the big bang theory on till date expansion.

I have waited a week before posting. Could not come up with anything else. Anyway, if you have read the post, I would request you to contribute to the learning process here and put down your own theories. Help the mankind!

Watchmen movie review

2009-05-29T09:39:00.005+05:30

Let's get theatrical, shall we?

With a cigar in the mouth and whisky waiting to burn down the throat and imitating Rorschach, I am gonna say, Absolutely spiffing!

Brilliant adaptation of the work by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, the soundtrack has synced world of aptness delivering the graphic novel effect to the movie. Rorschach's (not surprised he exists in word dictionary) rendition by Jackie Earle Haley was perhaps the best directorial decision till date. Here's a sound bite of the character from the movie.

Recommended watch, but in cinema halls only!

Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985...

2009-05-24T16:14:00.000+05:30

Started reading Watchmen, the graphic novel by Alan Moore.

Absolutely brilliant! Figured would appreciate the movie more this way.

House of Cheese

2009-05-14T12:45:00.008+05:30

Nothing compares to the feeling of being fed at home :P

Came back in between a project (with bad luck, I might end up repeating that course), and was greeted with a cheese omelette. It's like cheese burst but on omelette.

PS - Cheese paranthas for dinner! :P

The India Hype

2009-05-10T01:36:00.005+05:30

Following link tells a different story about the much hyped development of India.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124109098695372847.html

The last but one paragraph talks about the two races of Modern India. The backward race led by the corrupt political termites and the forward race led by the urban professionals in private sector. Eventhough reforms are taking shape in some states (along the western ghats), the backward race continues to slowdown the forward race.

This incompatibility is very well supported by The Buffalo theory partly, which states that a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.

Pun intended towards those hairy fat asses making shit all day along.

The most fundamental question

2009-05-09T01:37:00.006+05:30

Came across this particularly helpful video on how to find and pursue passion.

Dad always preached the same, only phrased it differently. He would say, "Sonny boy! Do everything that you have to, with interest." Should have listened to him then!

VenetianPrincess

2009-01-24T01:46:00.002+05:30

Came across this video. Parody on Womanizer by Britney, could not help appreciate the brilliance in the lyrics.

Two Thousand Nine

2009-01-17T05:26:00.002+05:30

Just came up with a new year resolution.

Read up and blog about it. Every day!

Let's see how that works.

Passport - Check

2009-01-17T04:43:00.016+05:30

I was googling ' character building exercise' and nowhere is there a mention - 'Getting yourself the first passport of your life in India as one of the most effective ways to build character'.

I started the procedure sometime in December, collected all the documents (for tatkal) and reserved a date with the passport office. The print-out of the passport application also had a time mentioned on it. I was really impressed by this since it eliminated this messy picture from my mind, of queues and people pushing each other at the government offices. I really thought, if I go at the designated time, the procedure would be completed in 15 min. A thought which, in retrospect, confirmed my DUMBNESS.

I figured there would be small cubicles with officers and on the basis of 'appointment', we just go to them and get it done with. BUT NO!

I was asked to come on 1st Jan, 10.45 am. On reaching the office, I realize

1] I am without a draft.

2] OMFG! The queue is huge, I could die waiting. Seriously.

Overwhelmed, I returned to insti in order to prepare myself for another visit. Mentally. Went an hour early the next day in order to get myself a draft. The scene at the office was no better. I got into the line and waited. It was one and half hour of just standing there, before I got to the counter and the officer asked for my documents. During verification, I got shot down for my permanent address proof and header-less Annexure F. The officer did not understand that there was no way my name could be present on the permanent address proof, when clearly, I am still a student and my dad is the earning member of the family. He just did not get it. DUMBASS!

I miss the days when dad used to get everything done for me :.

I went back and asked dad to send the annexure F again and a dependant card (hoping it would have my name and the permanent address). Fifteen days later, received a courier with my dependant which did not show my permanent address. I planned on going the next day anyhow. And I prayed. Prayed hard. Chanted mantras my mom paid 500 bucks to get.

Anyway, she was proud to know that all those mantras finally worked and the next day, all the documents were cleared, even my permanent address proof (without my name on it). Courtesy, my puppy face. I have been told, I have an awesome puppy face. Now I know it :D

So this was my passport journey. Now coming to what I learnt from this whole new experience.

- Expect the worst in case of mandatory government involvement. Queues are always to be anticipated and long ones at that.

- Passport officers are evil incarnate. Period

- My patience has reached new levels and I can stand at a place without doing anything for hours.

- Always carry an IPod or MP3 Player with you.

- Ability to make an awesome puppy face is a god-given-gift and should be used very frequently against evil forces of bureaucracy, any random irate personnel and parents.

- And Chennai Bus transport system is getting better.

168 hours to wait before I become the proud owner of a PASSPORT. Fingers crossed