a bluebird bride

...going to the registry and we're... going to get legal...

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 13:52:00 +0000

New Buffalo - I've Got You And You've Got Me  

We decided quite early on that being married by a wedding celebrant that was not someone close to us, in front of all our friends and family, was not for us.

Unlike in the US where it's possible to have a friend of family member 'ordained' online by the Universal Life Church or in some states, get a Quaker wedding certificate where the couple marrying can witness their own certificate (and therefore have whoever they wish to lead a ceremony if they indeed have one), Australia's laws aren't so flexible.

It's understandable. They want to uphold the serious consideration marriage should be given. You need to submit a 'Notice Of Intention To Marry' at least one month before your intended wedding. Legal marriages can only be performed by registered civil marriage celebrants or an authorised minister of religion. And there are certain wordings of a legal marriage ceremony that registered celebrants or authorised ministers of religion MUST speak in order to fulfill the legal requirements to make the ceremony and marriage recognised in the eyes of the law.

We had some issues with that. Firstly, if we had a friend who was a registered civil marriage celebrant, then we'd have had them marry us. If we were religious or had a family priest we grew up with, we'd have them marry us. But as it turns out we had neither and I've always thought it felt odd going to friends and family members weddings, the most intimate of all personal occasions, with all of the couples' nearest and dearest there... and then this marriage celebrant who has only met them a few times lead this tremendously important ceremony.

I think this can lead to two kinds of awkward:
1. The celebrant does their job in an understated way. It feels slightly stilted that everyone there knows the couple so much more than this person marrying them. Though they may take their job and role on the day very seriously, it can sometimes feel a little false - just another wedding for this celebrant, but a incredibly intimate and personal occasion for everyone else there.

OR

2. The celebrant acts like they know the couple... and this can be even more awkward. They talk about this couple, how they met or their decision to marry... and then imparts their own words of wisdom to the married couple.

Basically, we wanted do our ceremony OUR way. We decided we wanted to get a close friend to lead a ceremony that we wrote from scratch, that we felt was the perfect reflection of ourselves, our relationship, represented why we were getting married and what we hoped for our marriage in a way that was intimate, personal, sincere and felt real, comfortable and true to ourselves.

But first, for the legal part!

So we decided it would go like this:
Friday - super basic registry wedding, no readings, no exchange or rings, no fancy vows. Just the basic requirements to make us married in the eyes of the law, with just our immediate family as witnesses.

Sunday - fancy big wedding up in The Dandenong Range with 80 of our nearest and dearest, in a private garden ceremony we had written ourselves, with our dear friend Stefan leading the ceremony.

Now, we realised it was a rather unorthodox way of going about things so we sat quietly on it and approached both of our sets of parents to tell them what we wanted to do and why. I have to admit, despite being 30, living interstate, having been in this relationship for almost 8 years... I was rather nervous telling the folks and the soon-to-be folks-in-laws! But they took it really well. Mum exclaimed 'GREAT idea!' The in-laws were a little quiet on the other end of the phone line and my paranoid self feared the worse. I think they were a bit hesitant at first as they had been invited to a nephew's 'wedding' - only to turn up at the Botanic Gardens on the day and have the 'bride and groom' just arrive in wedding gear and have no ceremony at all because they actually had been married already in Japan. So everyone arrived with their gifts, saw the couple arrive and then stood around confused and not quite knowing what to do with themselves so they just wanted to ensure that what we were inviting people to would indeed be a wedding.

But the lesson learnt there was - we really should let people know what was going on.

It's interesting though. Most people were completely into the idea and think it was brilliant (or least tell us that's what they told us they thought!). While we did have the odd friend or two who gave the distinct impression they thought that the wedding in The Dandenongs would just be for show and the real one was the one in the registry. Which is not the way we were thinking about it at all. Legal requirements, but for us, getting married and having a wedding was all about having a ceremony where we make lifelong vows to each other with the most important people in our lives as the witnesses, to support and hold us to account of these vows through thick and thin.

We mentioned what was happening to a few friends here and there along the way. Really, our ceremony was written in such a way, I don't think most people would have noticed that S wasn't a registered marriage celebrant. The only difference was we weren't signing any documents straight after the ceremony. But we wanted people to know before the day. My sister and brother in law asked if we were letting people know or whether they should keep quiet about it on the day, which was when we realised, most definitely not, there was to be no sneaking around! So we wrote all our guests an email about it a fortnight out from the wedding to explain what would be happening. It was received really well, I had friends say they teared up reading it already and it made so many of them look even more forward to sharing our wedding!

In the interest of 'how to tell everyone the news' I'll share with you the email we wrote:

(click image to enlarge)

So it was off to the Old Treasury Building for a Victorian Marriage Registry for us:

It was all very simple to organise, everything was up on the Births, Deaths and Marriages site.

There are 2 rooms to choose from - one seats 55 and one seats 8. We were going to go with the one that seats 8 til we realised there would be 9 of us and Occ Health and Safety wouldn't let us all fit! So it was the big room for us.

On the site they even have the two services they have available. We wanted the basic of all basic ceremonies - so we opted for the 'Alternative Marriage Service' which is so basic, it's usually reserved for couples who don't speak much English! But that's exactly what we wanted, we were saving all the 'good stuff' for our friend-led ceremony in Olinda.

We literally spent MONTHS writing our 'proper' ceremony. But I'll tell you about that another time. But other than booking the registry wedding, going in to lodge our Notice Of Intention To Marry, and emailing through our amendments to the ceremony so we would not have any readings, nor exchange of rings and have as basic wording as possible, we hadn't really thought too much about what would happen at the Registry Office.

In fact, we only settled on what we would wear to this legal ceremony the week beforehand, and mainly because our family kept asking what we were would be wearing so they could dress appropriately too!

(As you can see from the photos, I'm in white. I actually just chanced across this second wedding dress when I was at the Geelong Mill Markets looking for some 1920s jewellery to go with my vintage wedding dress. It was only $35 and fit like a glove, so I figured it couldn't hurt buying it.)

So this is how the actual Registry Wedding unfolded. It's quite funny in hindsight but at the time it felt surreal and bizarre!

Firstly we were led in to the large room filled with beautiful chairs. It felt rather formal and I felt a little giggley.

We seated ourselves and facing us was a large wooden desk and great big leather armchair behind it. We waited for several minutes, it kind of felt like we were in a waiting room... and we weren't 100% sure what we were waiting for!

Eventually a woman came an introduced herselves to us, she was to be our celebrant. She asked AA and I to follow her into a side room to check over the paperwork. So we got up and left our family waiting in the room with quizzical expressions on their faces "where are they going?" and "I thought A said this would only take about 10 minutes?"

In the side room we checked our names were spelt correctly on the marriage certificate and that all the other details were correct, our parents' names, our place and dates of birth etc etc.. The celebrant confirmed we weren't exchanging rings or having a reading... I felt a bit embarrassed saying no so I tried to explain we were having a second ceremony... and you know telling someone who is a registered marriage celebrant that you're having another ceremony where your unregistered friend is marrying you... doesn't go down that well! Or maybe it was just my paranoia. I felt a little self conscious and awkward about it... but at the same time thought "it really doesn't matter what you think, it's our wedding!"

So after confirming we were having the short ceremony, no reading, no exchange of rings she explained was going to go back out and introduce us. We were to follow her back out into the room. AA was to walk first and stand in front of the desk and I close next to him. So we did... and felt rather silly... standing up there on display in front of our family who were wondering why this was all taking so very long... "I thought they were just going to sign this piece of paper?"

She began the ceremony and talked about how she had the "authority by law" to officiate our marriage. Indeed!

Then... SHE DID A READING! Yes, she did a reading after confirming with us just minutes before that we were having the short ceremony with no reading. The reading was very nice though - The Apache Indian Wedding Prayer. I was just rather embarrassed that we had intended to have this super basic wedding and told everyone that we would have no readings etc at the marriage registry because we were saving that for Olinda, but now we were right in the midst of quite an elaborate reading! But there was nothing we could do of course. I couldn't butt in and say "Excuse me! Excuse me! Would you mind not reading that! We're not having a reading!" so we just had to go with it. This is me looking at her thinking "ummmm???"

So we just stood there with grins on our faces. Though when I later explained to my sister what happened she said "OH - I was wondering why you had such a funny expression on your face!" I think it was embarrassed bemusement. I was also rather embarrassed that we had told our family this was going to be a super short ceremony and we were clearly getting delivered the wrong ceremony so who knew how long this was going to take now. Just hopefully she didn't ask for rings as well!

Then she asked us to turn and face each other, take each other's hands and prepare to make our vows.

In line with our intention for short basic vows at this legal registry, our vows were meant to be just:

In front of our witnesses here present,

I [Groom/Bride’s name] take you

[Bride/Groom’s name] to be my lawful wedded husband/wife.

But before I knew it she was asking AA to repeat line and line after her:

In front of our witnesses here present,
I [Groom/Bride’s name] take you
[Bride/Groom’s name] to be my lawful wedded husband/wife.
I promise to love you,
to care for you
and to respect you
for as long as we both shall live

Admittedly at this point my mind raced a little between "this isn't what we wanted to vow... we're making legal vows... that I didn't want to vow" to "OK, you're getting married, don't worry about it, be in the moment" to "oh my god, we're doing the vows, that means I'm up next... concentrate, concentrate, you'll have to repeat line after line next too!" whilst looking at my fiance transforming into my husband with water slightly beginning to well in his eyes.

Then it was my turn. She had been standing behind me when she read the lines to AA, then moved and positioned herself behind AA to read the lines for me to repeat.

We were verbally wed! Then it was time to sign the paperwork.

Our mothers signed as witnesses

Ta da!

Then we were legally married! Not quite how I expected but c'est la vie I guess. Sometimes you just gotta roll. Seemed metaphoric somehow. Wasn't what we had planned but we just smiled and went with it, and we got there in the end.

Then we headed to the iconic Melbourne pasta bar Pellegrinis for a light celebratory lunch.

To start our newly wed careers as partners in organised crime

A fitting end to our 70s-esque registry marriage

"John and Yoko"?

a week long festival of wedding!

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Mon, 31 May 2010 12:33:00 +0000

[via flickr]

So much to tell! Where to start?

I *love* all the wonderfully unexpected but delightful things that unfolded in lead up to and after as well as during our wedding. Of course there were some surprises that I could have done without but they weren't worth dwelling on.

One of the things I hadn't thought about was how our wedding really ended up turning into this mini wedding festival! It really felt like Christmas Eve... except... for a wedding - OUR wedding!

Both AA are from Adelaide and both sets of our parents are still there. Which meant that when we chose to get married not only in Melbourne but in The Dandenong Ranges - an hour of our Melbourne, we had to pretty much do all our wedding planning on our own. But when it came to our wedding week, we were able to count on our families to come over and help out when we needed them most.

They've always been great like this. A few years ago when we bought our home in Melbourne, my Mum flew over the week before we were to move to help pack and clean our rental ready for the most as neither of us could afford the time off work to do it ourselves. On top of this AA had just had surgery a month beforehand and was unable to lift anything heavy. But his parents drove all the way over from Adelaide (9 hour drive!) to help us move. Amazing huh! They helped pack, move and unpack us, move in the furniture, all on the one weekend! If they didn't, I just know we probably would have some boxes around now that we still wouldn't have unpacked!

TUESDAY NIGHT
So during our wedding week my Mum came down on the Tuesday night, stayed at our place and started figuring out what to do with the flowers and a few other things. We picked her up from the airport and immediately started feasting! Straight into Footscray for a celebratory Vietnamese meal. The next day, Mum went to the markets with our housemate and bought prawns, oysters, crabs for 2 days of pre-wedding celebratory feasting!!! Woohoo!!!

THURSDAY NIGHT
It was a huge emotional rollercoaster of a day. Lots of rushing around, and right in the midst of it, Mum lost her wallet. Being of a different generation, my parents don't use ATMs. I find this baffling, I really don't know how they get by without them, but unfortunately this means that when they travel either interstate or overseas they basically withdraw massive wads of cash and walk around with it in their wallets. This disturbs me no end and I try not to think about it. I've tried talking and arguing with them about this but to no avail. Well... as it turned out... Mum lost her wallet with well over $1000 cash in it. We live in the inner west, we retraced our steps, we rang the shop we had just been in, we visited there, we spoke to the sales people we had seen, we rang them again, we looked and looked and looked and looked... it was no where to be found. Nothing worse than that sick to the stomach feeling you get when you know you've lost something like this. And of course on top of all that cash, also lost in the wallet was all of Mum's shared credit cards with Dad! Meanwhile Dad was on his flight about to land in Melbourne. We felt even more ill thinking of what his reaction would be once we told him. We came to the conclusion Mum must have dropped it somewhere and there was no way it was coming back. We started ringing all the banks to cancel the cards.

We picked Dad up from the airport, Mum had to break the news to him when he arrived, it wasn't too bad. There was nothing that could be done.

But then at 9.30pm I got a phone call on my mobile, from a man who introduced himself as "Police Constable..." and wanted to know how I was related to [my Mum]..." and I knew they must have found it.

Can you believe a man found her wallet in the shopping centre car park after finishing his shift at the shop we had just been to. He saw how much cash there was in it and tried to look for contact details of the owner of the wallet but couldn't find any. He was about to bring it to the shop but had hesitations after seeing how much money was in it and so instead took it to the police station! AMAZING! So good to know there are still good people in the world. My Mum got his details when she went to pick up the wallet - which had all the cash still in tact - and rang him to thank him. He didn't want a reward, said he believed in karma and that one day he would need someone to do the same for him, but she sent him one when she got back home anyway.

Anyway, this all happened the day before we were due to go to the registry office - what an emotional rollercoaster! It was HUGE relief though.

Dad was in *great* spirits. We had an eye on the weather seeing we were having an outdoor ceremony, though keeping in mind that it was out of our hands really so if it rains it rains! And as it was in Autumn, in the mountains, it was going to be cold - forecast was a chilly 13 degrees. But Dad exclaimed '13 degrees isn't cold it's PERFECT!' haaaaaa. Well I suppose this is a man who doesn't feel the cold!

I was testing out the music mix in the loungeroom, Dad was hanging out, our friends had driven over and had dropped over, Mum was cooking in the kitchen... it felt like the family Xmas Eve I had never had! In our family Christmas had always been going over to our grandparents or going to my sister's for lunch... we have never really had Xmas Eve celebrations - we had a family restaurant, we had always been working!

Only when I met my now husband and started spending Xmas with his family did I learn the joy of their intimate Xmas Eve dinner. It's their favourite part of Xmas and something I had never experienced - basically just the family chilling out together, music playing, milling around, having a sip of a glass of wine, reading a book, helping out in the kitchen - gently enjoying each other's company. And here we were enjoying the very same atmosphere, except it was our marriage registry eve :)

Also completely unplanned on our marriage registry eve, AA and I as well as our housemate made our television debut! Just pure pot luck that it ended up screening that night. We had been involved in a shooting of a segment for Costa's Garden Odyssey back in December and had heard it would air several months afterwards, but as it happened, our wedding week truly ended up being our "15 minutes".

On top of the TV screening, we also had a community newspaper photographer around on the morning of our marriage registry to take photos to accompany a story on how we asked our guests to contribute money towards us getting a rainwater tank in lieu of a tradition gift registry, complete with cheesey heading "Tanks for the memories".

Sometimes it's funny how the stars align!

new and approved

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Sat, 29 May 2010 07:27:00 +0000

In case you haven't noticed, the blog has undergone a revamp and has also relocated from Wordpress to Blogger.

Though www.abluebirdbride.com will still indeed land you here, any old links will no longer be working I'm afraid. Please drop me a line if you're after a link, but the whole blog's been moved so if you do a search what you're looking for should be here.

I have a bazillion links and sites to share with you now that I've more time up my sleeve and the wisdom of married lady.

In the meantime here's a beautiful video and tune for you --

Magnetic Fields - The Book Of Love

that's missus to you!

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Thu, 27 May 2010 14:03:00 +0000

We did it! It was truly THE MOST FUN EVER and I still have to pinch myself from time to time coz I can't quite believe we managed to pull it all off and it was even more fabulous and fun for EVERYONE than we expected it to be.

So much blogging to catch up on but for those of you who have been dying for an update, here's some photos of the day

les fleurs part deux

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 10:36:00 +0000

Day 2: The yellow gladiolis are starting to open already. They look so pretty but I'm actually a bit concerned about what state they will be in by next Sunday if they are already opening now! Anyone know how long gladis last?

In the meantime the green gladiolis and white lilies are only just starting to open their tips.

Am diligently changing their water everyday and adding flower food.

Will be getting some extra sachets of the stuff to get them through to the wedding.

les fleurs

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 23:23:00 +0000

Ah, bless the internet! I love how everything is just at the tip of you fingertips really. Even top quality fresh flowers!

So the flower situation was sending me a little cross eyed. There was much to and froing going on. Lucky me has a Mum who has an eye for floral arrangements, in particular Ikebana. We won't be having Ikebana arrangements at our wedding (no room in the reception venue really) but Mum is putting together my bouquet, our buttonholes and corsages, wrist corsages for the girls and 2 vase displays for the reception.

Slightly trickier for me though is that Mum's interstate so she wasn't able to just go out and source and order the flowers herself. So I've been trying to find out what's in season in Melbourne, where's good to get them from, whose got good quality and prices etc etc.. Which would have been fine if it was just a job on it's own but as anyone getting ready for a wedding knows, there's about five billion jobs that need to be done, all at the same time.

We WERE going to get them from a wholesaler in Olinda (The Dandenong Ranges, where we are getting married) BUT the flowers wouldn't be open already and didn't fancy a trip out there 10 days before... to get the flowers... to bring home and get them to open... and then bring them all the way back.

So then we were going to get them from our favourite local florist in West Footscray. We went there with our list of bouquets etc we needed and when we arrived our jaws dropped... the FLORIST IS NO LONGER THERE! They have completely vacated and VANISHED! I was stunned and quietly devastated. I loved those guys! They had nice flowers, were super friendly and helpful, family run and nice Westie prices. Apparently they hadn't paid their rent... damn... I could have kept them in business a couple more weeks. Oh well.

NEXT we searched various other local florists. Some had some nice stuff, some were closed (it was a Sunday). So I did a quick whip around on Tuesday morning and one was closed though I went back twice and they were supposed to be open, one wouldn't really help me coz they said their bridal person was only there on Fridays and I really couldn't leave it that long so that didn't help me. And another florist close to work was really good with fantastic looking and unusual flowers but SO EXPENSIVE!

I was beginning to feel a bit at a loss. So that night at home I had one last google and... just HAPPENED TO stumble across FlowerBunch and Floriculture. Two online businesses run by the same mob. They have flower farm in Silvan (right near where we were originally going to get our flowers anyway, in fact I bet they sell supply the wholesaler we were going to go to).

FLOWERBUNCH is the retail flower delivery site. BUT they also have a wholesaler site FLORICULTURE that sells to the public! They have a fantastic range, and BRILLIANT website with answers to any question you could possibly have, a great video of how their pack their boxes so you can be reassured of what you will be getting, and the helpful blog with so much information. I was really impressed by their videos and website. And I was incredibly happy to see that they are pro Sustainability. They source locally as much as possible, minimise imports (yay! low flower miles!). They have their own greenhouse and use hydroponic organic flower production practices. See? They were ticking all the right boxes for us. They are obviously passionate about what they are doing and providing the best possible flowers to their customers. AND their prices are very competitive.

If we were after more 'cottage style' flower arrangements and bouquets etc I would definitely go for their GROWERS "SURPRISE" BOX:

They come in small, medium and large sizes ranging in price from around $65 to $160 and look like a really great way to get a selection of IN SEASON flowers, locally sourced - a selection of both flowers and foliage and really fantastic value!

I did umm and ahh about possibly going that option, but after a good couple of weeks going cross eyed trying to figure out what it was that we wanted, getting my head around how many bunches of which types of flowers we'd need, when we'd need to get them in order to be open in time etc... decided to just go with what we originally planned for. We've got 14 buttonholes to do for example, and I just didn't know if the surprise box would have flowers suitable for the buttonholes.

So I ordered online... after about 5 phone calls to their florist Sally. Their customer service was excellent, they were super friendly and very helpful and answered all my questions and kept telling me to feel free to call back if I had any more questions. And call back I did! They were very patient with me, not even a hint of getting sick of me calling up with yet ANOTHER question. And it was greatly appreciated.

I ordered 2 packages because some flowers take longer to open than others. For our reception displays we're going for a mixture of white lilies, green and pale yellow gladiolis - both take longer to open, and also cream and cream w/ pale yellow centre chrysanthemums. So I ordered the lilies and gladiolis to arrive today.

Is is how they arrived and how they look. Their website has lots of info for caring for your flowers and what to do once you get them and how to make sure they open and look their best. So that even dummies like me can't get it wrong! Plus I rang them twice once they arrived as well just to check I was doing everything correctly.

We will be having the roses, rose sprays, rose petals, and chrysanthemums arriving next week, closer to the wedding as they don't take long to open at all.

That's right people THE WEDDING IS NEXT WEEK!!!!

i take my cake back

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:45:00 +0000

So, we've totally caved on the cake scenario. In fact, I can't quite remember what caused me to ramble on about being against cake in the first place to be honest. I think I just didn't like the whole posing and cake cutting thing. But hell, so much of the wedding tradition IS cheesy and posed, we're doing away with much of it, but at this point in the game I've run out of energy to be put my foot down on things I might have had feelings one way or another about a few months ago. Ha!

Funnily enough the only person who really pressured us to have cake is the reception caterer! And it wasn't really pressure it was just like - why wouldn't you? And I couldn't really think of a good explanation other than 'we're not that into it' so we're just going with it.

PLUS I came across these custom made wedding toppers thanks to the fabulous A Mountain Bride blog. So we ordered some ourselves. Check it out, it's a mini-me and mini-AA!

TOTALLY WORTH HAVING CAKE FOR!

making whoopy

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 23:20:00 +0000

Oh dear. It appears the bride may have whooping cough! Yikes!

I thought that was some kind of archaic illness only babies get, but have since discovered I know 8 adults and counting who have had it recent years. None of them have terribly great accounts. Once had it for 6 months, another 3 and another actually broke 2 ribs from the coughing!

Here's hoping I manage to kick this before the wedding.

"Do you take this man to be your husband?"
*cough* *cough* *splutter* *splutter* *choke*

disaster!

eyes wide open

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 22:21:00 +0000

So, AA and I have been doing some pre-marital counselling. And I have to say, I thoroughly recommend it! It's been a really wonderfully positive process for us both. I know there are probably people out there who think we must be nuts for doing it. I know there are definitely friends I wouldn't tell that we are doing this. They just wouldn't understand, think we're weird or assume that must mean we're having problems already or something.

But this is our thinking - We're not getting married in a church. We're not even getting an official wedding celebrant for our wedding. But we still think the process of taking a moment to sit, reflect and constructively talk about our relationship is a really valuable exercise to go through. It's so easy to get lost in the details of creating a wedding, that you can get swept away with all the activity and almost forget what this is all about!

This is NOT just about one day. I cringe whenever I hear someone refer to this as 'YOUR BIG DAY!' Firstly - they will often direct this statement to the bride only. It seems to be based on the assumption that all women have been planning their weddings since they were little girls. And secondly, while this is definitely a momentous occasion - cause for much celebration and we certainly hope to come away from our wedding ceremony and reception feeling it was a really great event for everyone there and that we were swept up in a wonderful event, enveloped by the love of our closest friends and family - this is meant to be just the start of a journey that we're going to continue together for the rest of our lives. This is just the start! And the rest of our days together are going to last a whole lot longer than just this one day!

When I first broached the topic with AA, he totally jumped in and said 'let's do it!' I thought - oh yeah, I have a keeper!

Plus I figure - seriously, when else do you have an opportunity to sit down and really talk about your relationship other than pre-marital counselling…. or once you already have a relationship problem that you need professional help with? And what is that thing you hear all too often, when couples go in once the problems have become embedded and they've left it too late? Why not talk about how things are going so far, you are deciding to get married afterall. You're committing yourself to this relationship - why not talk about how you're going and see how you can improve on that even more as we enter this life as lifelong partners?

But, it also got me thinking. A friend once suggested to me that it would be really great if, as well has having an annual physical check up, people could go in to see their GP or whoever and have an annual mental/ emotional check up. Our lives are so fast paced these days, it can be so hard to find a moment to breathe and reflect on what's going on. And further to that, imagine if it was the norm to be able to periodically go in and have a relationship check up? I guess there's nothing stopping you from doing either of these things. Perhaps we just need to remind ourselves, perhaps even go to the extent of scheduling for ourselves, time to sit and reflect on our lives and how they are going every now and then.

Anyway, the pre-marital counselling's been great. We researched a few options online. Relationships Australia run courses. They sounded a little too pro-forma for our liking though. First session you do this big questionnaire each and then you sit down with a counsellor to go through your answers from there etc.. Then we found another couple of Melbourne psychologists and counsellors who sound like they offered more personalised services and that interested us more.

Then we came across this site and were interested in what we read on line. There were a couple of e-books available for sale so we bought and downloaded them, and really liked what he had to say and the down to earth way he wrote. So we booked in! First session was definitely a little nerve wracking but it was fine. We get sent away with 'homework' - a few questions that we answer each, swap with each other, and talk about before and during the session. About ourselves, our personalities, our similarities, our differences, our values, our life goals, our relationship goals, our histories, our family histories and relationships… and most valuably, ways we can bring our different strengths together, to learn from and grow together.

In short, I highly recommend it! Sure it's a little scary, but I'm really glad we've done it. At times it's been confronting but mostly, it's really helped highlight how clearly we see each other, and how clearly we are seen by the other, and I feel so lucky to realise just how much my partner loves and understands me. It's really strengthening to know we're both committed to making our relationship the best that it can be that we were willing to go through this process, as daunting as it may have seemed. And it's enabled us to speak about things that we may have both just thought about but never specifically articulated to each other.

68 sleeps to go

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 23:29:00 +0000

"68 sleeps to go". Now see, it doesn't sound so scary when I say it like that. However when I say "10 weeks to go" I feel my head starting to get a little faint.

Everyone keeps saying "You're so organised!" but I certainly wasn't feeling like that last week.

Work has been SO busy. As in I went for several weekends in a row without having a proper relaxing 2 day weekend. I'm a 30 something now - if I don't have a proper weekend it kills me! I work in the music industry and summer is crunch time - it's summer touring festival CRAZY! I have bands coming out of my ears, I'm so tanned from having to hang out at all these festivals waiting to supervise interviews and whatnot. I mean, I realise there are much tougher jobs out there but I've been so tired I've been delirious. You know that feeling of exhaustion where you think your head is going to EXPLODE if required to process or take in any more information? That's been me.

Not really the kind of head space that allows one to be able to breeeeeeeathe and think about what wedding things still need to be done.

I had a feeling it was going to come down to this as we approached the landing. Which is why we were so organised over 12 months ago, locking in all the big decisions early before having a bit of time to relax.

We had to really. At least two thirds of our guests are coming from interstate, and a handful of friends coming back from abroad just for us! The very least we can do, in asking them to travel all this way, is make it as easy as possible for them I figure.

But now we're coming to the pointy end of the stick. I've been tired, I've been stressed and of course... it's made me be a bit emotional.

I was determined to be super organised from the beginning and to spread out the "work" so I wouldn't become the dreaded cliche Bridezilla. And I don't think I have become one. But I have had moments of bursting into tears two weekends in a row. They erupted unexpectedly!

First time was over acknowledging our late grandparents in our wedding ceremony. I wanted to say something special just about mine because I was particularly close to them, but we couldn't figure out a way of doing it without seeming disrespectful to AA's parents and grandparents. I had a really good sooky sob over that. Of course now, with a clear head, I've realised alternatives and we'll make mention of them in speeches at the reception instead.

Second was over receiving a text from a close cousin who isn't able to make the wedding at all now and will be overseas for work. It's a close cousin I grew up with. I was surprised at my reaction - said cousin had recently been driving me a little nuts coz they just couldn't commit to saying if they were bringing a plus one with them or not. They wouldn't say 'no' even though they obviously didn't have a significant other to bring already. But, I grew up with this cousin, I know what they're like, it just wouldn't have occurred to them that this would be rude or the implications it would have on something like wedding planning. Anyway, RSVP deadline was Feb 1 so I sent them an email last week saying - 'hey, look we really need to know if you're bringing someone or not. I know it seems like a small details but it's one that a bunch of other things rely on so please let us know by xxday otherwise we'll just assume you're not bringing anyone'. And now they're not coming at all! I guess it was when I realised that this potentially means that my two closest cousins, who I grew up with like siblings, both won't be at the wedding. And this is news that has only come up recently - but I guess it's only coming up now coz now's the time we're locking in numbers and really need to know. Still... it's sad. But I guess there's not much that can be done!

Anyway, we spent a good solid weekend getting back to feeling like we're on top of things or at least are across what still needs to be done. I realised I could apply my work skills and what I needed was WORKSHEETS! A wedding's just a rather elaborate gig right?

So the wedding steamroller is back on track woot! woot! Heading up to the reception venue tomorrow night to go over details and lock more down and then back for our 3rd session of pre-marital counselling (more on this later) on Saturday arvo, followed by a free intro to meditation class at the local Buddhist temple. I need it!

who knows where the time goes

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:38:00 +0000

Fairport Convention - Who Knows Where The Time Goes?

Oh, um, where did those 2 months go? Has it really been 2 months since I last posted? I guess so

Work's been so overwhelmingly busy, whenever I have some time off the last thing I want to be doing is wedding organising!

But it's now less than 3 months away. Almost all the RSVPs are in. We're starting to write our ceremony. We need to start working out the finer details of the reception. I know we've been super organised since early on, but still I feel a bit overwhelmed about trying to find time and head space to do the things that need to be done!

When I have time to procrastinate doing wedding planning, I like to do honeymoon accommodation and activities booking :)

Can we skip the wedding and go straight to the honeymoon?

Just kidding. Focus, focus...

look global, shop local

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:17:00 +0000

Thank you to everyone for your incredibly helpful suggestions about getting my hands on some Luna Bazaar paper lanterns and daisies.

But inspired by this post in a wedding forum, I stopped in at one of the many cheapie gift store/ $2 shops in Victoria Street, Richmond (aka Little Saigon) and found these paper lanterns pictured above in an assortment of colours and sizes. No paper daisies but that's fine.

Done and dusted and I can easily pick up more if I need them! Woot!

And now for some inspiration - will be combining lanterns with fairylights:

a bidding bride

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:49:00 +0000

Vintage Cream 50s does 1920s Flapper Style Sequin Dress (end time 02-Dec-09 19:39:55 AEDST)

A friend just sent me a link to this pretty dress, looks a lot like mine! It's got a week left to go on ebay and is currently sitting at $12! Bargain!

Meanwhile I'm rather upset to find that Luna Bazaar, sellers of of the 50+ colours of paper lanterns, often referred to on Martha Stewart Weddings, DO NOT post to Australia! Or most of the work outside America for that matter. BOOOOOO.

Where else am I going to get these and these?

budget beauty treatment

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 09:36:00 +0000

I don't know about you, but I really loathe spending ridiculous amounts of money on skincare products. So many other things I would prefer to spend my money on! I have found some great budget skincare tips on the Vogue Forums in the past including the aspirin face mask, and just using the basic Cetaphil brand products as a daily face wash and moisturiser. So many basic beauty products you can use without spending a fortune!

This morning I stumbled across this great Youtube Channel with some fantastic budget beauty tips.

There are tutorials on the aspirin face mask and rice water toner,plus olive oil as an eye makeup remover, and who needs to fork out a hundred bucks for a microdermabrasion kit when you can just use an electric toothbrush? AND - clay kitty litter as a clay face mask!

My favourite one though, and very fitting for a pre wedding treatment, is a CHAMPAGNE skin treatment!

I know I sound crazy but watch these, you'll want to give it a go when you see her complexion.

Got any budget beauty tips you care to share?

show me those pearly whites!

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:06:00 +0000

[image from flickr]

A couple of weekends ago, I did a one day Bead and Pearl Stringing class at CAE. That's right people - I am going to knot my very own pearl necklace for the wedding!

Now that I have my dress in at the dressmaker's getting altered, I've been turning my attention to accessories for the wedding.

My dress is a vintage 1920s dress, with delicate gold brocade fabric. It's quite simple but elegant, though probably not as ornate as traditional wedding getup goes. It's an outfit where jewellery is definitely going to complete the look.

So far I have an antique bracelet of rice pearls that I found at an Asian antique store whilst looking for Japanese ikebana vases with my Mum.

I also have some handcrafted Balinese silver jewellery from Celuk - a town that is known for their silverwork. AA bought me this incredible bracelet. It reminds me of lacework, the design is so intricate.

I also got these cute little matching earrings from Celuk too.

But seeing my dress is flapper style, I have been looking for the quintessential 'pearl rope' or a big multi-strand necklace of pearls. One big criteria for it though is that the pearls need to be naturally oblong shaped - not the perfectly rounded shape. I like the natural freshwater look best, but more significantly... my fiance has a childhood phobia of small round things! I am sure there must be a name for this. It's not a HUGE phobia, but more like an aversion, a definite unsettling, they make him a little queasy. Doesn't like marbles, peas, cherry tomatoes... and definitely not round round pearls. It's been hard to find a suitable length of genuine pearls for starters, and my one experience of going into a jeweller's to look at their pearls was kinda terrifying. The saleswoman was SO PUSHY I thought - who needs this? I'll just make some myself!

When looking for freshwater pearl necklaces on the internet I stumbled across suppliers of freshwater pearls for people to make into jewellery themselves. They are surprisingly quite affordable! So when I saw that CAE were offering classes I jumped at the chance. I thought - how hard could it be? I drove across town and braved Chadstone Shopping Centre to inspect the pearls in person but you can buy them locally in Melbourne or online here.

Pearl knotting is an ancient craft, people have been doing it for hundreds of years. It's definitely fiddly, but the type of activity you can get better at with practise. If you look at a good quality pearl necklace, you will notice that between each pearl is a small knot. This is so that if your beautiful necklace of precious pearls ever breaks all your pearls don't go crashing to the floor running in all directions. So as the name suggests, pearl knotting is just the technique of getting those knots snug on either side of the pearls and made into a necklace. You usually use silk thread to knot your pearls so it doesn't damage the pearls rubbing inside them.

I found this great video on youtube describing the process:

It doesn't include the very handy technique of attaching the pearls to a sturdy clasp, and using a 'gimp' or french wire to secure it, that I learnt in my class. A beautiful professional finish.

Anyway, I'm currently waiting for some multistrand clasps that I ordered on etsy to arrive from overseas. Once they do I can start on my pearl knotting extravaganza, I'll keep you posted!

In the meantime, here's what I will be channelling in my piece. I have been tossing up whether to make a versatile 'pearl rope' piece - ie one massively long necklace with no clasp - just continuous loop, that you can wrap around your neck as many times as you like or knot etc.. I do love the rope style necklace. However I think it works better with slightly larger pearls than the ones I have purchased. So I have decided I'm going to go for a more refined looking multistrand 'opera' length pearl necklace. I think it'll be classier for the wedding, a more polished look. PLUS if I get really good at pearl knotting - I can always knot myself a pearl rope of larger pearls later! :D

And look, I'm not completely mad. This lady made her own wedding necklace and bracelet. I don't think she knotted them but it still looks damn impressive I reckon!

MORE VINTAGE INSPIRATION

Coco Chanel

MULTI-STRAND

(these ones above are available to buy for $600AU)

(I like the decorative clasp/ brooch on this one. It's available to buy from Talbots)

PEARL ROPES

OTHER LINKS:

HOW TO wear pearls/ lengths
+ Pearl Necklace Lengths - How To Wear Pearls
+ Pearls - Styles and Lengths
+ Pearl Jewelry Guide - more on lengths and the women that made them famous
+ 21 ways to wear a rope pearl necklace

BUY Pearl Necklaces:
Australian stores

+ Melbourne Pearls - where I got mine from
+ Divine Pearls - some really stunning looking pieces on sale here
+ Satsuma Pearls - some beautiful multistrand and pearl rope necklaces in bridal gallery
+ Ajit Pearls

INSPIRATION:
+ Amazing looking 1920s style wedding here
+ Coco: Muse & Style Icon (Divine Pearls blog)
+ The Perfect Pearl Necklace For Wedding Day Jewelry - 12k wedding blog - some beautiful examples here

make me up

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 00:10:00 +0000

[image from flickr]

This week I started contacting some potential makeup artists to do my make up and hair for the wedding.

I figure, I have bought 2 x vintage wedding dresses. I love them, they're much more my style that a giant showy boofy white wedding dress. But they're probably not what people expect. I'm not planning on spending a huge amount on a pair of shoes for the wedding either, and whatever I get, they have to be shoes I will be able to wear again otherwise I think that'd just be silly.

So if I'm going to splurge on anything... I think hair and makeup can be justified. Afterall, there's going to be a lot of photos taken! And I'm not in a super showy dress and in stressful situations, my insecurities are magnified, I really don't want to be feeling self conscious on my wedding day. I want to look and feel HOT! Ha. I just want to have some really nice makeup, an enhancement and refinement of my usual look which is pretty minimal but with a nice splash of red lipstick. I want a radiant, dewy complexion that looks healthy and glowing without looking overly shiny and definitely not oily. I just want to know I look great and so I can feel confident and enjoy the day.

Anyway, I have contacted two highly recommended makeup artists and they both seem fantastic, and both have mobile set ups and can come to me on the wedding day (which makes the most sense seeing we are getting married in the gardens of the place we will be staying at).

Both of their on the day prices are comparative, but one has a more expensive trial session. It does seem incredibly thorough though: 3-4 hours to run through everything at their beautiful studios, they encourage you to bring your dress, your accessories, as much inspiration as you like and they work out exactly what they will do on the day and down to the final lash! And they encourage you to bring as many of your girlfriends as you like to the session to hang out and offer their suggestions, and they put on tea and cake and turn it into a kind of high tea/ make up session. To be honest, it sounds SO girly it scares me a little but I like the idea of having a thorough run through.

I've talked it over with AA and he's really supportive and thinks it will be worth if it's going to make me feel great on the day. So I think I'm going to do it!

venue idea #2: Morocco Lounge

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:43:00 +0000

[Morocco Lounge - Prahran]

Time to catch up on rolling out all the little links and ideas I have been hoarding, meaning to share on this blog!

I have a soft spot for all things Moroccan. I love the decor, the food, the music, the coffee! I love the exotic nature of it all, the history and the wonderful sense of intimacy that Moroccan decor sets.

A friend had a joint birthday party at the Mofo/ Moroccan Lounge a couple of years ago and I just loved the setting. It is in Prahran, Melbourne and I think would make a fantastic casual setting for an engagement party or reception. It'd be really conducive sitting in small corners and chatting with friends and family and mingling.

There are 2 rooms available at the Prahran location:

Mofo Lounge - capacity 15-30 guests

Quite small so probably more appropriate for an intimate engagement party or a very small wedding cocktail reception.

Morocco Lounge - capacity 60-80 guests

This the venue I attended the birthday party in and it's a great space - room for dancing, room for sitting and chatting, room to stand and mingle.

They also have recently opened a third, larger venue available for functions, but this one is situated in South Yarra:

MOSQ - capacity 70-80 guests

The have a very informative website with food and drinks packages available, drink menu and cocktail list, and even have a website set up with tips on party plan tips. I like it!

why wed?

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:06:00 +0000

[image from flickr]

I was recently talking to someone who 'doesn't get the whole wedding thing'. It was an exasperated: 'WHY? Can you please tell me WHY? WHY do people bother? I JUST DON'T GET IT!'

It was in interesting excercise in getting me to articulate aloud the reasons I do want to get married.

My fiance and I have been together a long time. By the time we marry, we'll have been together for eight years, and spent six of those years living together. Amongst our circle of friends, getting married isn't automatically assumed as the done thing. Marriage is something that has become increasingly recognised as a personal choice of the couple rather than a social expectation. And living together without being married is considered the norm rather than 'living in sin'!

From the outside, I guess it's like we have been like a married couple for years now. So why bother legalising it? Will 'having a piece of paper' make any difference?

For me, I don't see getting married as being just about getting that piece of paper. I do feel there has been a shift of mentality for us since getting engaged. And despite being together for a long time before we got engaged, I do remember that after the initial tears of happiness at getting engaged, we sat on the couch together, clutching hands with an expression of slight terror of our faces feeling this was an enormous step into the abyss we were taking together. Like, we were deciding to be grown ups, get married, have children and do all the things adults do!

But when questioned WHY I want to get married and why it means so much to me... and my idea of a good marriage, my mind drifted to friends whose relationships I admire and am inspired by. I have some dear friends who have married in the past couple of years and have seen how becoming married really has transformed their relationships and it indeed did make a difference. I see the way their faces light up and the joy they take in calling each other "husband" and "wife" and how their bond has noticeably strengthened since they tied the knot.

When we were thinking about what kind of wedding we want to have, AA said "I don't just want it to be a celebration of what we have, I want it to mark the start of something NEW" and I guess that's the thing for us. We could just continue living together, have children together, and be with one another for the rest of our lives without getting married. There's nothing stopping us from doing that.

When I explained this, the response was "Oh ok, I can kind of get that now. It's like a punctuation" and I guess perhaps that's one way of describing it. To me, getting married isn't so much the 'signing the piece of paper'. The important part to me is the wedding ceremony - it feels like an incredible powerful and symbolic ritual. It's calling upon our dearest friends and family to witness us make lifelong vows to each other, and to hold us and support us in those vows. This ceremony will be something I will feel much more bound by than a piece of paper.

And that is why AA and I want to write our ceremony from scratch and have it "officiated" by someone we know rather than a stranger who is a celebrant. For this reason we have decided that a couple of days before our 'wedding day' we will go to the registry office with our parents to sign the legal documents to make us husband and wife before the law. We will not exchange rings but just say the words and sign the documents that make it all legit. But on our wedding day in front of our closest ones, we are going to have a friend lead a ceremony that we have written together and is most meaningful to us. It isn't the traditional way of doing things but we feel is the best and most honest way for us to express our vows.

I'd love to hear from anyone else whose been put on the spot, to articulate their own reasons for getting married!

if money was no object...

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:18:00 +0000

... I'd have this thank you!

Or any of these: Martha Stewart Weddings Perfect Gowns for an Outdoor Wedding

But as it turns out we're not willing to plunge ourselves into debt and spend our future children's education fees on our wedding. And if I did spend the kind of money required to own one of these numbers, just on ONE item of clothing, it'd be a tad awkward wondering around greeting my guests, looking so fabulous while they dined on bread. Let them eat cake! Make that sponge cake!

And besides that would just be greedy. Afterall I already have TWO dresses picked out, both vintage - one 1920s and one 1960s. Together they cost less than what the hat above probably costs.

I have finally made an appointment to see a dressmaker on Saturday morning to get a quote to alter and line my 1920s number. It's gigantic on me at the moment. I'm a little scared, hopefully the dressmaker is nice to me.

Here, I'll let you have a sneak peak:

So which one am I going to wear? Well, uh at the moment, the plan is BOTH! More details on that to come later :)

AND I have also booked into a class at Thread Den to learn how to make my own fascinator. I'm hoping to use these skills to make my very own French veil.

Surely if I can make something like this:

I could adapt those skills and make something like this:

Don't you think?

Anyone else out there DIYing accessories for your wedding?

did you miss me?

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:00:00 +0000

[image from flickr]

Ah, so sorry about that! The break was a lot longer than I had intended. But you know what? We went to Bali and had all these good intentions that whilst on holidays, in the relaxed atmosphere, we'd find some time to sit on a beach and talk about what we'd like to say in our wedding vows.

DIDN'T HAPPEN.

We had the most awesome holiday, we had such an INCREDIBLY good time. So good that we didn't think about the wedding at all! Clearly, we needed a break from it and didn't even know it.

I think it was really the most stressfree vacation I have ever been on! We were constantly asked whether we were on our honeymoon. Depending on who was asking and what we felt was the appropriate response, so as not to offend anybody, we would either say it was or we'd tell them it was a our PRACTICE honeymoon, and we'd all have a little giggle about it.

But really, that was as far as the wedding thought and talk went on vacation - and we loved it! We loved it so much, that when we got back we thought, hey, let's keep not thinking about it for a while longer! We somewhat managed to do that. We had contacted some photographers before we went away and they followed up with us when we returned and so we made a decision on who we'd go with and booked one in. But other than that, we've been cruising.

It's SPRING now though, apparently, so I think it's time to start cranking the ol' wedding planning back into action.

So you'll be hearing more from me shortly. In the meantime though - I highly recommend Bali for a honeymoon destination. In fact, we've pretty much decided it is going to be ours. Beautiful surroundings (just try and stay away from the touristy Kuta), such beautiful people, inspiring culture, and sooooo traveller friendly it's almost ridiculous.

back after this break

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:29:00 +0000

We’re off to Bali tomorrow! We’ll be gone for a fortnight. Looking forward to daily massages, lots of walking and delicious food. We’ll be spending the start and end of our trip in Ubud, up in the mountains, doing a road trip to the east coast Amed region for the weekend and then taking the boat over to Gilli Islands and Lombok as well. Can not wait!

Will be taking lots of photos to share with you when we get back. And with any luck we’ll also be getting AA’s wedding suit made while we’re there.

Look forward to a much more relaaaaaxxxxxxed bluebird when we return.

Twee twee dee…

a feel-good photoshoot fundraiser!

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:07:00 +0000

This just arrived in my inbox. We have been on the quest for photographers for the wedding and I stumbled across j-studios via downtomysoul.

Jessie from j-studios is a member of an organisation called the Australian Community of Child Photographers. The ACOCP is a purely volunteer organisation that sends out professional photographers, free of charge, to families who have a still birth or who have a baby or child with a terminal illness.

What a brilliant idea! It breaks my heart to think of those families who have to undergo such an ordeal. But how wonderful is it that this organisation exists and is able to contribute in a small way so that these families have beautiful images to hang on to… something tangible to hopefully help ease the pain in years to come. How could I resist helping spread the word?

It’s an Australian organisation so I assume the offer is valid throughout Australia, or places in Australia that they have member photographers situated in.

FROM J-STUDIOS:

URBAN MINI SESSIONS

Many of you know that I am heavily involved in the Australian Community of Child Photographers. The ACOCP is a purely volunteer organisation that sends out professional photographers, free of charge, to families who have a still birth or who have a baby or child with a terminal illness. The ACOCP operates without any funding and relies solely on membership contributions and fundraising such as this. We hope that you will consider supporting this amazing organisation by booking a mini session in June or July.

How it works?
We currently have 10 weekday mini session slots during June and July. When you are ready to book we select a date and time that works for you and then you pay your $50 direct to the ACOCP. Mini sessions last for about 20-30 minutes and are ideal for updating your family photo and getting a couple of great shots of your kids.They are limited to immediate family (up to 6 people) only. These sessions will be held in the Melbourne CBD or Docklands area. After wards we will organise a time for you to come and view your images (approximately 12-15 images will be shown from your mini session) in the studio for your ordering session. You will receive one complimentary 8x10in print from your mini session and you will have the opportunity to purchase additional images from our special discounted Mini Session packages or individually from our normal studio pricing.

I have already had photos done....How can I help the ACOCP?
You can forward this on to family and friends who may want a fun Urban shoot. Spread the word and hopefully j [studios] will be able to sell all ten mini session slots and raise $500 for the ACOCP.

Thank you for helping support the amazing work of the ACOCP.
Jessie Broome
j [studios]

let them eat cake

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Sun, 24 May 2009 21:46:00 +0000

a beautiful Martha Stewart inspired autumn cake by Three Sweeties, Melbourne

[excuse the waffling, if you want to CUT TO THE CAKE click here]

Busy, busy, busy! That's my excuse for not blogging for over a month. Seriously, it's a freaking WONDER than any of us brides to be have ANY time at all to blog about the experience and ideas - what with work, domestic chores, LIFE it's very easy to get out of balance.

We're booked and ready to go to Bali in just over a week and I am hoping the Balinese notion of 'rubber time' will mean that our 2 weeks there will actually feel like 2 months. I am hopeful.

But now for a brief wedding update:

- Mum visited for a week, and we managed to drive up to the Dandenong Ranges (where we are having our wedding) twice to look at the ceremony and reception venues

- I now have, not one, but TWO vintage wedding dresses haha. Bit greedy huh. But the second was an amazing floaty 60s number that fits liked a glove that I picked up from the Geelong Mill Markets. And for a measley $35 how could I say no? But we actually have a legitimate excuse for TWO wedding outfits now, but more about that later.

- AA's hunt for the perfect suit continues. He also has managed to pick up two outfits but isn't 100% convinced that either is THE wedding suit. But in the meantime, both are pretty damn cool. Both vintage - one 60s woolen blue suit, and a 70s chocolate brown number with a nice satin trim on the lapels.

I'm a little reluctant to launch into all the details of our wedding on here just yet, I'm not sure why. Perhaps I feel like someone might just steal our ideas but really that can't be justified seeing I got the lead on our reception from another wedding blog too! Or maybe it's because I feel like I'll be jinxing things a little. I've been fine with AA and a couple of select close people to see photos of my wedding dresses but I'm a little funny about divulging all details of the wedding here just yet. I'll work up to it. I also feel it might be a bit of a spoiler for friends who are coming to the wedding but also reading this. Maybe I can just put 'spoiler alert!' before I spill.

In the meantime I have plenty of other great ideas I have collated til now to share.

This one I just came across this weekend.

QUIT THE BLABBING BLUEBIRD AND CUT TO THE CAKE!

Three Sweeties

are a Melbourne, Australia based cake shop that make AMAZING looking cakes, cupcakes and other sweeties for weddings, birthdays and other occasions.

We're not big cake people and I really hate the cake cutting tradition. I mean, what on earth is that all about anyways? I think I'd barf from the cheesiness of it. I think cupcakes could be a good alternative.

So I did a google search and came across these guys. Look at some of these!

They can deliver and set up the cakes too to make sure they're presented as intended but it all adds up though, so not sure it's something we could afford at our wedding. But look at the workmanship! Just stunnning. But if we could afford it, I would definitely be seeking these guys out. So gorgeous, a work of art like that would double as a centrepiece at the reception.

Actually, all this talk of cake reminds me of a conversation that AA overheard when we were at Chatterley's - the restaurant at Cloudehill Nursery.

A couple who were booking in their wedding reception there were talking with the owner and the bride said 'We want a LOT of cake. I just really love cake and I think everyone should be able to have as much cake as they want'. The owner was saying 'Look honey, that's really sweet but the truth is a lot of it will just end up going in the bin, you really don't need slices THAT big'. After a good couple of years working in catering AA said to me later, 'always listen to the caterer about quantities. They always know!' so maybe that's a useful tip.

As it turns out we're actually thinking we might skip the wedding cake or cupcake idea all together if it ends up being too costly. We'll just have a dessert bar instead seeing we're having a buffet dinner too. More variety and people can have what they like. Maybe some wedding cookies instead?. Hopefully everyone will be way too busy having an awesome time, no will notice there was no boring cheesey cake cutting ritual and photos.

What are your feelings on cake?

celebrity celebrant fantasy #1

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 12:54:00 +0000

Not this

I'm muchos jealous that in the US, it sounds like you can pretty much get ANYONE to marry you. You can even marry yourselves in certain states if you do a Quaker wedding. Or you can get your best friend to marry you, they just have to sign up as a minister at something like the Universal Life Church which you can do online.

Procedures are much stricter in Australia. But it got me thinking if we could have ANYONE in the world marry us, who would we want it to be?

For me, I think it'd be Wayne Coyne from the Flaming Lips. He's completely joy and love personified, and speaks with a worldly wisdom, and well, he's just so darn cool. And he makes amazing music. And the Flaming Lips concert I went to a couple of years ago was one of THE MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE! I am not kidding. It was like being bouncing around inside the most incredible psychedelic, ecstatic utopian bubble for a few hours with the perfect soundtrack being played live.

Marry us Wayne!

I told a music magazine editor friend that and he reckons I should somehow try get a message to ask Wayne when they tour here, coz he's probably crazy enough to consider it.

Though, to get married by Wayne Coyne in a Wayne Coyne kinda fashion, he'd probably be wear a pale blue, bell bottomed suit with ruffley shirt and AA and I would have to stand before him in giant furry bunny costumes. Our friends and family would also all have to be standing around in giant animal costumes and a constant supply of balloons of varying sizes would keep filling up the venue as the ceremony proceeded.

In the meantime though I just bought four standing floor general admission seats to see them play Festival Hall in Melbourne in July. Coz you can't sit back at a Flaming Lips show you have to PARTICIPATE!

venue idea #1 - heronswood, diggers club garden, dromana

noreply@blogger.com (a bluebird bride) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 10:10:00 +0000

As promised I am going to share some ideas I have had for weddings that I think would be lots of fun.

Ever since visiting the Dandenong Ranges and getting engaged up there we have had our hearts set on organising a 'destination wedding' there. We love the idea of being able to share this special place with all our beloved friends and family and rather like the idea of organising a group holiday up in the mountains for the weekend... where everyone gets to come along to a great party, that happens to be our wedding, while they are up there!

I would have really loved to have a wedding at a Diggers Club garden. There are two gardens - Heronswood which is in Dromana, over an hour out of Melbourne, heading towards the Mornington Peninsula. And St Erth in Blackwood, near Daylesford.

Both gardens have fantastic vegetable gardens, which I have a real passion for. The vegetable par terre gardens at Heronswood are particularly spectacular:

There is a Heronswood Cafe which I've never actually eaten at because you need to book ahead to get in, it has quite a small capacity. But they also do gourmet picnic hampers, and there is picnic wedding inspiration aplenty on Snippet & Ink:

I think a summer wedding ceremony on the lawns under the beautiful big tree out the front would be a wonderful spot:

Plus when we were last there at the annual Heronswood Festival (Melbourne Cup weekend) we did a little tour and the guide told us that in early-mid Summer (December) the climbers on the archways have huge flowers the size of dinner plates!

You can see some more of my photos of the gardens from November 2008 and read about it on my other blog here.

I can't seem to find any details about booking weddings on the Diggers Club website any more but I have found them on there in the past. I did come across to a small reference to weddings in this ad here though. So if you're interested, I suggest giving them a call about it:

Heronswood

Garden - Shop - Café

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK (Closed 24-26 Dec)

Closed Good Friday.
Open Easter Saturday, Sunday and Monday.
105 Latrobe Parade, Dromana, 3936
Melways map 159 C9

Map & directions

Shop: 03 5984 7321
Dining: 03 5984 7318
Fax 03 5987 2398

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venue idea #1 - heronswood, diggers club garden, dromana

Heronswood

Garden - Shop - Café

that's missus to you!