What if you have a food blogger in the family?

You know how it is. I post food photos in my Pinoy Food Photo Blog to complement my entry. Naturally, when my family eats out, I snap away at the food we order. So here was a typical scene when I first started my food blog in July 2006.

Husband: Don’t eat that yet. Your Mom hasn’t taken shots of that dish.

Marielle: (irritated) Have you taken a shot of this? Can I eat now?

Lauren: (pouting) Hurry. I’m hungry. I wish cameras are banned in restaurants.

I bet they got tired of waiting so…

This is my family two years after.

Lauren learned to take shots of her food (at Pepper Lunch) so she can eat it as soon as the dish arrives.

And Marielle too!

If you can’t beat your mom the food blogger, join her. or else, starve.

What is a typical scene with your family or friends? especially non-blogging friends and family?

In other New Media Events

1. I love Ethan Allen furniture designs that a few of my furniture was heavily inspired by it.

Here is a video I took of the showroom,

2. HTC Touch Diamond in the Philippines Mid-July

Imagine having broadband-like Internet with HSDPA 7.2 mbps wireless connectivity right in the palm of your hands?

3. Join the Buhay Coke Contest and get a chance to win a Phillips LCD TV, an Apple iPhone, a Sony Cybershot 7.2 MP Digital Camera, and an iPod Nano .

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Left to Right: Hector Soliman (Local Project Director), Brian W. Lennox (Executive Director, National Judicial Institute), Marlon Manuel (Alternative Law Groups Inc.), Eduardo D. De Los Angeles (Philippine Judicial Academy), Alfredo F. Tadiar (Philippine Judicial Academy), Imelda Tuazon (IBP Pampanga)

JURIS has three project components such as the Alternative Dispute Resolution , Judicial Education and Reform Advocacy Support. I won’t bore you with all the facts so just download and read more on the JURIS project and JURIS Fact Sheet.

What struck me on a personal level are two things:

1. Introduction of Judicial Dispute Resolution (JDR) in Makati City. (Aside from 5 pilot trial Courts)

I’ve told you before that our civil case in Makati is still floating in space. I still can’t talk much about it.

You also know that before a trial starts, there is a Court-annexed Mediation (CAM). What I didn’t know is that if that didn’t work out, it doesn’t have to end there. In Makati City (and 5 other pilot trial courts), there is a Judicial Dispute Resolution (JDR).

To understand, the process check this flowchart on the
The Process of Court-Annexed Mediation and Judicial Dispute Resolution

(Click to enlarge)

JDR looks promising. It is a process conducted by judges who conciliate, neutrally evaluate in a non-binding manner the strengths and weaknesses of each litigant’s position, and then mediate to assist the parties amicably settle their case in court.

I wonder if our civil case will ever reach that point.

2. The Juvenile Justice Law or Philippine Juvenile Justice Welfare Bill (RA 9344)

When I wrote Children in Philippine Jail, I promised that I will follow-up on this issue. So I raised the question “Thank you for your assistance in the enactment of the Juvenile Justice Act but how come implementation seems to be difficult? Children are still in jail.”

Marlon Manuel replied that the Local Government Units (LGU) are not prepared to handle the children’s rehabilitation especially those in rural areas. He said that these LGUs can emulate the example of Cebu City’s Bahay Pasilungan Project, a temporary shelter and processing center in contact with the law for children. Upon further research, the Bahay Pasilungan Project is a private effort and not really the initiative of the local government. The question remains, what use is the law if there is no implementation? What becomes of the child in jail? Can’t it be a priority especially if it involves petty crimes?

It does not help that a Philippine judge handles an average of almost 500 cases, the number of which continues to increase with about 50,000 new cases filed each year. The JURIS through the Alternative Dispute Resolution Mechanisms (ADR) can help de-clog the court dockets. This means affording the judges more time to hear other complicated cases. I cannot verify the facts myself but their press release say that “the project has contributed to efforts to change the mindset of the poor and marginalized groups, who often avoid legal matters due to sky-high cost of litigation and their perception that the law favors the rich and educated.”

Hector Soliman added that the with the success rate of ADR, marginalized sectors have gained hope that they too can have access to justice.

With such a success rate, I imagine that the JURIS should be implemented nationwide. Don’t you think so?

Other Blogs

JURIS Project: Supreme Court promotes mediation and alternative dispute resolution mechanisms

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The guests were two young women, widowed in their mid-twenties. The focus of the segment was comforting their bereaved children. I discussed some creative projects and self-care. Every now and then I had to butt in and correct some misconceptions on Grief Recovery. Lucy Torres is quite smart but I don’t know what to make of Wilma Doesnt, her co-host. At the end of the show, I handed my calling card to the two widows. Wilma looked at me backing off as if I had some communicable disease don’t give me a calling card in half-joking/serious tone. Well, I told her I didn’t plan on giving you anyway but she kept repeating it. What the??

Apparently, she found the show’s theme so heavy and depressing that she kept whining about it. To think I was there to educate them about Child’s grief.

Since my portion covered less than 6 minutes (they practically cut half of that segment and concentrated more on Lorna Tolentino’s grief), I want to add more details that were not really discussed and which parents and guardians of a bereaved child might find useful.

Society tends to imagine a family death in one of two ways:

1. It may be seen as so devastating for children that people feel they should be completely protected.

2. It may be seen as the opposite, that people assume children are so resilient that they will simply “bounce back” without any support.

In my experience, bereaved kids really experience the pain and bewilderment of grief. With the help of supportive adults, children can heal understand and learn to live with their loss.

Some things to remember:

1. In order to support a child, the parent will need to make efforts to look after themselves first. This includes making time for yourself to experience your own feelings of grief.

2. The age of the child has a direct impact on their level of understanding about what has happened.

Let’s take the example of my niece, B the first cousin of my Luijoe. They were inseparable. B who was then 3 years old was Luijoe’s playmate and best friend. On the day Luijoe died, her mother informed B that her cousin died. Poor B! She understood what death meant and cried like a river.

It helped that her mother allowed her to cry and talk about her cousin’s death. Children aged 2 to 5 years think that death is reversible and that people who have died can come back. B , smart beyond her years was an exception. She knew Luijoe was not coming back. And how she cried a volley of tears. It was a good thing that her mother made a special album of memories for B to look at. In that album were photos of the good times like those photos above.

During Luijoe’s birthday and death anniversaries, B placed flowers on his grave. It was a pitiful sight sometimes to see her cry. We cried with her. One of the most difficult aspects of a child’s grief at this age is how they ask the same questions over and over again in an effort to begin making sense of their loss. Reading books on death and loss, playing, drawing and giving them opportunities to identify and talk about worries and feelings will help them deal with the loss.

Children aged 6 to 9 years begin to develop an understanding of death as irreversible though they can get confused about it. Sometimes kids think of death as something spooky, like a zombie or a spirit that comes to get them. It is important that their specific worries are spoken about. It is also important to avoid cliches such as You’re a brave boy/girl. Kids will interpret this to mean that you want or need them not to share their feelings. Kids need you and other important people in their lives to show them that it is OK to express their feelings.

Children aged 9 to 13 are more aware of the finality of death. They understand death as both concrete and abstract. Kids may experience difficulties in their interactions with peers. The death of someone important can make them feel different at the very time that they want to be the same as everyone else.

Marielle was 12 at the time of Luijoe’s death and she expressed to me her concern that it’s not normal to lose a brother. She didn’t know of anyone who lost a sibling. That made her feel different. Big emotional releases (such as anger or distres) are not uncommon but can be scary for children at this stage. They benefit from your willingness to listen and your assurances that the feelings are normal.

Adolescents may struggle to make longer term plans as the death of someone important causes them to reflect on “the meaning of life” and ponder on the question “What’s the point?”. Lauren was a 14 year old at the time of Luijoe’s death. I was too grief-stricken to notice the kids’ feelings but I was always around for them, loving them. They had their friends to distract them but at the same time, they couldn’t stand the shallow attitude of their friends. Sometimes I feel death matured their way of thinking making them value life more.

Sometimes teens tend to keep to themselves but I notice that when there is a special activity to commemorate Luijoe’s life and death, they become talkative and start talking about the good old days. In a way, they are able to express their grief without forcing them to talk about it.

I know it’s been years since their brother died but I have been told that the loss of a sibling will hit them now and then at various stages in their life. I remind them that these feelings are normal. I know they will be fine. When I asked B if she recalls Luijoe’s favorites (which I needed for a memory quilt project), she smiled and said “lizard”.

Smiles have now replaced the tears.

Things to Remember

1. Remember that “super parents” don’t exist. Just do what you can, when you can. Accept that some things just can’t be “made better” in a short space of time.

2. Talk to children using words they understand.

3. Tell Children information a bit at a time.

4. Don’t be afraid to show children how you are feeling.

5. Try and encourage children to ask questions.

6. Answer questions honestly and simply.

7. Try to find ways in which children can be involved.

8. And if family and friends offer to look after your children to give you a break, accept— don’t feel guilty.

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That didn’t deter me from being updated through the blow-by-blow accounts of the Plurkers. I caught Manny Pacquiao on TV news just a few minutes ago, trying to tug on Diaz as he lay sprawled on the floor. Being ignorant on boxing rules, was he trying to lift him so he could fight some more or was he concerned that Diaz fell to the ground? So I searched for the fight in youtube hoping someone got to record it.

I found this youtube video of Pacman-Diaz: ROUND 9 Pacquiao’s POWER UNLEASHED KO’s Diaz

I can only take portions of the fight and watching it in youtube didn’t look as intimidating as watching it on TV.

I know this is just a sport and I should be proud that our Philippine boxing icon Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao made history, knocking out WBC lightweight champion David Diaz and to become the first Asian to hold four different titles at different weights and the first Filipino to hold the crown.

Congratulations Manny Pacquiao. One thing I noticed from you is that you praised God for your victory. You also made your mom so proud that she fainted. She must have been overwhelmed with joy. Any mother would be proud of their child’s accomplishment whether big or small.

My hubby writes more on the fight on Manny Pacquiao Knocks Out Diaz in 9th to Win Championship

If you missed watching the fight on TV, here are more Youtube Videos of the Manny Pacquiao-David Diaz fight.

Are you plunking, dear?

I wanted to chuckle but I didn’t want to offend him.

No dear, I’m plurking.

He didn’t seem to notice that plurking is not the same as plunking.

Maybe he meant spelunking? tee-hee.

For some of you, you might ask, What is Plurking?

Plurking is just the verb for using Plurk.

What is Plurk?

A really snazzy site that allows you to showcase the events that make up your life, and follow the events of the people that matter to you, in deliciously digestible short messages called plurks.

I bet you’ll think it’s such a waste of time. Heh, I actually think it is. But life can be stressful, and one just has to zone out sometimes and well, just plurk.

One good thing that I got from plurk aside from friendships and small talk is that I was forewarned of Signal Number 3 of Typhoon Frank. Plurkers were busy warning friends at 11:00 PM that the typhoon Frank changed course. We exchanged plurks on how to prepare for the weather. My husband who was fast asleep at that time had no idea that Signal number 3 was already raised.

I know it seems shallow to be giddy over getting emoticons or karma (Plurk is the only place you will get thrilled over getting some karma) but hey, we should value our childlike qualities. It’s what makes us very human. Childlike is positive. Childlike implies certain characteristics of a child, like total trust, honesty, and acceptance. Children are not judgmental. Somewhere along the line, adults get cynical and prejudicial with life. Children possess spontaneity.

Some of you also find Plurk confusing because they compare it to good ole Twitter. Well, if it’s confusing, use the mobile version. (Read my mobile version.) You will also read me at www.plurk.com/user/momblogger.

Ready to plurk with me, just sign up for Plurk. (Sign up button is on the right hand side of the site)

Let’s just plurk and have fun!

Let’s nurture our childlike mind.

Some problems can be anticipated. Some are surprises. The idea that problems occur now and then need not be a surprise.

If there is one thing different between my husband and myself, it’s the way we look at our problems. Most of us rant now and then.

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Why is God not listening to me?”

“How come this had to happen?”

I guess he needs more time reacting to the fact that there is a problem than solving the problem.

Maybe it’s his coping process and I am there to balance it. Whenever he is in that frustrated state, my mind starts ticking about possible solutions.

The good news is that for every problem, there is a solution. Sometimes,

1. The solution is immediate;
2. It takes a while to discover;
3. The solution involves letting go.
4. The problem is ours to solve,sometimes it isn’t;
5. There is something we can clearly do to solve the problem yet other times we need to struggle, stumble, do our part , then trust God for help.
6. The problem is just part of life.
7. The problem is important because we are learning something through the problem and the solution.
8. The problem end up working out for good in our life.

Sometimes, problems just are; sometimes they are a warning sign that we could be on the wrong track.

I have learned to accept problems as inevitable part of my life. I’ve learned to find trust my ability to solve problems. I’ve also identified problems that try to lead us in a new direction and which simply ask for solving. I learned to trust solutions rather than be victimized by problems.

We can actually learn to focus on the solution rather than on the problem and maintain a positive attitude towards life and the inevitable flow of problems and solutions.

And guess what? After my husband is done with his litany of rants, his next question is always:

“What do we do now?”

My answer: Let’s come up with solutions.

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The manner by which Sulpicio Lines handled the terrible tragedy is most deplorable. However, there is yet another tragedy that has not been written about much, which has befallen the town of San Fernando in Sibuyan Island. San Fernando is the town closest to where the sunken ship lies.

This quaint fishing town of some 22,000 residents is also struggling against an equally daunting devastation away from media glare that is focused on the capsized MV Princess of the Stars just a few kilometers from the shore. Majority of the families have lost their homes and been displaced. There is hardly food and shelter available. The children are in dire straits. They have lost all their books, toys, clothing and are very much in need of basic necessities. Government agencies, owing to a lack of resources, just cannot be depended on to address all the tragedy surrounding us today. In today’s Philippine Inquirer report, Dr. Ted Esguerra of the Philippine Coast Guard mentioned that attention should be given to the children of this island.

As private citizens, and as human beings, we can do our part. My friend, Cathy Babao-Guballa is initiating a campaign to help the Children of San Fernando, Sibuyan Island.

If you can find it in your heart, to share a bit of yourself, here is a wishlist for the children of San Fernando –

1. Clothing (for ages 2 - 16)
2. Books and toys (in good condition please) for kids ages 5 - 16
3. School supplies - pens, coloring materials, pencils, notebooks
4. Snacks

You can send your donations here or call 0917-529-1964 if you wish to have your donation picked up.

Cathy and another friend is coordinating with the Red Cross and plan to go there in the latter part of next week to deliver these items.

I hope you can help out in any way you can.

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Lauren dragged me to watch a special viewing of Bunso (The Youngest) last saturday. Bunso is a poignant documentary film by Filmmakers Ditsi Carolino and Nana Buxani about three boys – Tony, 13, Diosel and Bunso, 11 – struggling to survive in a crowded Cebu jail alongside adult rapists and murderers. The two streetsmart boys paint us a picture into the surreal world of children caught between extreme poverty and the law.

These boys talked about their hunger and how they resorted to stealing just to survive. One boy stole from a sari-sari store because he could not bear the hunger pangs any longer. The owner did not press charges but the father wanted to teach his son a lesson by sending him to jail.

The boys are in prison for petty theft and robbery. Anthony claimed that he stole huge amounts of money to feed his family when his mother neglected his siblings. Bunso was on the streets because his mother did not “send him to school or care for him”. He resorted to begging for money at first, but when he couldn’t get any money, he stole. Then he started sniffing glue and needed more money to fund his addiction.

“I’d sniff first then eat,” he said in the film.

The verbal abuse and angry confrontations between Anthony’s parents are a symbol of this film’s reality. The kids live in slums at the prison. Their parents have no responsibility of caring for their children and leave them to feed and fend for themselves.

Children as young as 9 years old were sent to jail. The worst thing is that these kids were not segregated from the adult convicts. The jail conditions were horrible. I found out that the documentary was filmed in 2001, when Operation Second Chance, a jail facility in Cebu City for minors, was nearing completion. But for how long did these kids suffer living in these deplorable conditions? Food served to these kids looked worse than what pigs eat.

(Here is a snippet of the Bunso film)

As I watched the boys talk of their jail experience, I wanted to hug them and say that it is alright. You are just kids. You deserve a second chance. But what good are my words?

I was deeply troubled by the documentary that the moment I went home, I searched in the internet to see if anything was done to our children in Philippine Jails.

In May 16, 2006, the President signed into law, Juvenile Justice and Welfare Act of 2006. But are the kids given a second chance?

A year after the law is passed, children are still in jail. The Law enforcers continue to detain minors. Philippine Juvenile Justice Welfare Bill (RA 9344) is not being implemented.

As I watched Bunso, I wonder what their parents were thinking. Did they not feel any love for their kids? It’s not the child’s duty to provide food for their family. They should be playing, be at their homes or with friends at school.

I felt so helpless and troubled as their story unfolded. Sure, there is a law now but…

The law does not really solve the root cause.

The law does not pave opportunities for our children to grow properly.

The implementing rules and regulations does not eradicate poverty and generation of new jobs for the parents just so the kids don’t roam in the streets in search for food,

The Law does not strictly enforce the constitutional right of our children to free and quality education so that our kids will stay away from the streets.

The law does not enforce the value of responsible parenthood among parents.

Do we even need the Juvenile Justice and Welfare Act of 2006 if only these parents valued responsible parenthood?

Inspite of the lack of implementation from our law enforcers and the lack of interest from these parents, there is a glimmer of hope. Father Shay Cullen reports that the Peoples Recovery, Empowerment and Development Assistance Foundation, Inc. (PREDA) continue to save these kids from jail.

Outside they were clothed and fed and they were brought to the Preda Boys Home. Here, they are free to run about play basketball, swim, go to school, take an apprenticeship for trade. They learn right for wrong, grow in spiritual values and start life over. There is no need for walls, fences, gates or guards. The vast majority stays willingly and regains their pride, self-confidence and become good students. This June 2008, twenty-four have been enrolled in high school and another fifteen are taking distance learning. These are the throwaway children of the society, lost sheep whose rights were trampled underfoot but are now found and restored to a life of goodness and dignity.

Children need saving. Jail is no place for a child.

Lets do all we can to help end it once and for all.

Related Stories

Child inmates in Legazpi city jail have been serving more than their sentences

Kids Still Jailed in Manila - PREDA

Child Rescue Page

(Photos from PREDA)

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The “Nearness of You” is 1940’s song probably meant to be a love song but I chose it as a lullaby for my 2 girls from the time they were babies till around 4 years old. Instead of singing the usual baby songs, I chose a slow and soul-soothing song as my way to calm my fussy babies. My pitchy song helped lull them to sleep and surprisingly calmned me at the same time. There is just no substitute for these quiet moments of connection — time spent nurturing my little loves.

Last night, I sang this song upon the request of my husband to tease the girls. When they were much older (6 years old), they used to sob when I sang this song. Perhaps they became nostalgic?. After sobbing, they slept soundly. I never had sleeping problems with any of my children because of this lullaby.

Right after my tone-deaf rendition of the song, Butch asked the girls “Are you crying now?

Speechless, methinks.

It’s the first time that I ever sang in a karoake club. I used to be squeamish about singing in public. But it’s my belated 51st birthday celebration with a few mom blogger friends and family so there is always a first time.

(thanks Dine, Chats, Lisaflor, Julie for being there.)

It’s also my first time to visit Red Box Trinoma. Their bright and cheery room inspired my guests to belt out a song. I am so used to Red Box Greenbelt 3 branch which offers a buffet outside the karoake rooms. The Trinoma branch offered the buffet inside the room. The food was simple yet yummy for the prize of 99 pesos per person.

I was so “kilig” that Butch sang and dedicated “Misty” and “Moon River” to me.

The night was still young but mommy bloggers being mommies needed to be home with their babies. I left Lauren with some of her friends to eat all the food we left behind and sing the night away.

Now, if you were invited to a karoake, what are your usual songs/repertoire? Please share.

At around 9:00 AM, we discovered the remnants of a roof lying a few meters away from our house , narrowly missing Lauren’s and Marielle’s bedroom window. The roof came from the fourth floor of this ongoing construction across our home then , probably flew off and landed right smack along some cables and electric wires in the house beside us. No wonder we have no Globelines broadband and Skycable connection.

Apparently, our neighbor was unaware that it was Typhoon signal No. 3 and didn’t secure the construction materials. Besides we only discovered at around 11:00 PM that Typhoon Frank (international codename: Fengshen) would hit Metro Manila at 5:00 AM today. By 11:00 PM, the construction workers already left.

This is our first typhoon experience in our new home and naturally I was worried. Typhoon Milenyo struck our old home with some damage in our garden and front portion of our home. It took us days to clean up the damage. (View photos of the cleanup)

I haven’t toured around the neighborhood to survey and take photos on the damage of Typhoon Frank. Photos on the gmanews.tv site shows flooded streets in Manila.

(Photo Credit: GmaNews.TV)

I am grateful there is minimal damage in our area but I also wonder how others in Metro Manila are coping with this storm.

How are all of you in Metro Manila? Hope you are all safe!