A letter to my daughters. Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger. “Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. With respect to luxuries and comforts, the wisest have even lived a more simple and meagre life than the poor.” Henry David Thoreau

To my dear daughters,

It is Mother’s day today and as you might know, I celebrate it everyday with you even if you are all grown up. Today, I just want to write about the rewards of the simple life.

Let me tell you that about finding ” the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter … to be thrilled by the stars at nights… some of the rewards of the simple life.” Let me tell you about our trip to Batanes.

I could not help but prance around the sloping hills of Racuh-a-Payaman , twirling around and singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music”. Remember how we used to sing that song in the car as we travelled the long and winding road towards Baguio?

Yes, Baguio has a special place in our hearts because it is home to your dad. I could not help singing with the wind as it kept throwing my sun hat away to protect me. I felt the wind was telling me to let go of my fear of the sun’s heat and just feel the cool breeze. I did listen to the sound of the wind as it cools my face during lunch. Want to hear the pounding of the wind that afternoon?

My friends who were with me say it reminded them of the Irish landscape. One felt like crying with the majestic beauty. Another thought “I see God before me”. I was speechless. I thought the picture pretty hills was reminiscent of the English countryside without the Friesian cows and the sheeps grazing the pastures.

I sat down on the grass to get my bearings and just be awed. But your dad wouldn’t allow me to just sit down. You know how I fear heights …but your dad held my hand and said “you are going to regret this”. He dragged me literally to see more than just rolling green hills.

He led me to the tip of the hill where the blueness of the sea kissed the sky. Ever since he learned to use the camera , he kept taking photos of Batanes.

I cannot begin to describe Batanes . Your dad in our article of Batanes “Enhancing the ecological and cultural tourism in Batanes” says:

Despite our preconceptions about the allure of the place, we were still floored by the actual experience of being there. A clear light seems to suffuse the entire province – real life in HD. The drama of the juxtaposition of the landscape and seascape left us gushing and groping for words. We have literally never seen any place like it, although we have done a fair amount of traveling here and abroad

I am not as eloquent as your dad so let me just show you some of the photos he took of me. You know how I am when it comes to photos.

Let me take you to the rugged terrain of Chawa cliffs.

The hedgerows which serves as source of reeds for roofing, protection from soil erosion and firewood. Hedge rows are also proof of the centuries-old practice of Ivatans on appropriate farming technology.

The fishing port in Diura.

The rolling hills in Vayang.

I took this of your dad as he stood beside the Mt. Carmel Chapel that sits in between two bodies of water, the West Philippine Sea and the Pacific Ocean.

The sound of the roaring waves of the West Philippine sea from Batanes Resort where we were billeted

This is the video I took of the resort:

Rock formations in Alapad Hills, the scene of the movie of Hihintayin Kita sa Langit (I Will Wait for You in Heaven) with Richard Gomez and Dawn Zulueta

I took a video while waiting for your dad as he ventured to the steeper side of Alapad.

The super moon that peeked out just before sunset at the Basco Lighthouse

The Ivatan art inspired by the beauty of Batanes.

But more than the majestic beauty of Batanes are the people themselves. You might find beautiful beaches, picturesque mountains, hills and hedgerows in other countries but Batanes is more than a pretty scene.

What makes Batanes endearing to me is the attitude and culture of the Ivatans, the natives of Batanes.

Ivatans are hardy and resilient, attuned to the vagaries of a temperamental climate. They have a strong sense of community. Neighbors look out for each other and every person is either an auntie, uncle or cousin. Bartering is still prevalent. The often-idealized concept of “bayanihan” is actually alive and well in Batanes.

The pervading culture of Batanes “dictates that it is a privilege to help and be helped, and almost an insult to receive payment.” Isn’t that something to emulate and pass on to our children?

This Honesty Cafe store was started by Aling Elena Gabilo, a retired Math teacher for 40 years. She wanted to provide refreshments to the locals and travelers in the area. Anybody who enters the cafe can get food and drinks and drop whatever payment they feel like in a basket.

Aling Elena does not mind if the customers don’t pay or not. Her ultimate profit is the chance “to awaken her customers’ consciousness to honesty and responsibility and to teach them to live these lessons in the other areas of their lives.”

There is much to learn from the day-to-day experiences and resiliency of the people of Batanes. Life is about helping others and sharing their lives with one another. Rose Belmonte says it best about life in Batanes.

“Life that is lived fully will lead us to knowing who we are and becoming what we are made to be. Giving starts with one person. It starts with one home. One woman prepares food with love. One man takes pride in his labor. One traveler pays the right amount. One child learns to share. A neighbor gives unconditional assistance. Everybody does the same. And we get blessed with a community called Batan in an island simply known as Batanes.”

As your dad and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary in Batanes, I am convinced there is a certain majesty in simplicity. I realized that it is much better to insist on the genuine forms of nature, for simplicity is the greatest adornment of art.

As Richard Holloway says. “Simplicity, clarity, singleness: These are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy as they are also the marks of great art. They seem to be the purpose of God for his whole creation.”

I hope we can travel together to Batanes and explore it more. Most of all, I hope you can see how simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.

Love,
Mom (and dad)

How to travel to Batanes:

You can fly to Batanes via BCTA chartered flights (Manila-Basco-Manila) at promotional price of 6,200 pesos one way using a British-made aircraft BAE-146. They started accepting bookings since March 01. Flights are every Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays starting on March 15. The flight is only one hour and ten minutes, in the comfort of a 94-seater jet. They can also arrange day tours for you too.

For reservations please call the following hotlines: (02) 635-4810 / 546-1197 / 998-4303 / 475-5267 / 475-5260 / 0917-8112282 / 0999-8894106 / 0908-2309419 / 0922-8213717. or visit batanestravel.com or Facebook.com/batanestravel.com for more details——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Being romantic in Batanes : A time to celebrate the beauty, gift, and the blessing of enduring love. is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger.View my Batanes photo gallery.

Each wedding anniversary that my husband and I face every year deserves to be celebrated in any memorable way.

Every celebration symbolizes our annual renewal of our vows to each other —

windswept hair atop one of the rolling hills in Racuh A Payaman also known as Marlboro country

So when Andrea invited me to a media tour of the chartered flights from Batanes Cultural Travel Agency (BCTA) I couldn’t say no. When SEAIR invited me in 2008, I kept putting Batanes on hold for some reason. This time , I had a reason to say “YES Batanes, I want to celebrate our love there”… but asked Andres if I could pay for my husband’s fare just so we could celebrate our 27th wedding anniversary in Batanes. Good thing she allowed me to bring Butch along.

Mount Carmel Chapel in Tukon modeled after the traditional Ivatan stone houses.

Spending our 27th wedding anniversary in romantic Batanes is one gift we gave to ourselves. Being close to such a beautiful and peaceful place gave us the time to reflect and be thankful for all the blessings in our life. If you know us personally, you will know that our married life was filled with drama for most of our 27 years. It is only recently (perhaps 2005) that we reaffirmed our commitment to each other. Like many marriages perhaps, it was a rough journey.. but then as my friend , Bernie reminds me “marriage is always a work in progress and that is what keeps it going.”

I can’t begin to describe Batanes. You will have to discover the beauty yourself. I will write more about Batanes in separate articles. Enjoy just some photos that show the happiness in our faces as we discovered the landscape of Batanes which is unique from other Philippine provinces due to the steep cliffs, rolling hills, deep canyons and boulder-lined shores.

The photo before this was taken by our tour guide so it doesn’t show the beauty of the chapel.

“To love another person is to see the face of God.” Les Miserables

On the ceilings are different municipal saints of Batanes painted by Ivatan artists trained at the Pacita Abad Center for the Arts.

“Our anniversary is a time to look back at the good times and a time to look ahead to live our dreams together.”

hedgerows “liveng” serve as boundaries of plantation / agricultural crops and boundary of ownership.

The difficulty with married life is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

home studio of artist Pacita Abad is now a boutique hotel is the most luxurious accommodation on Batanes Island

“There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to your loved one.”

Vayang Rolling Hills

Side by side – Year by year.

The boulder beach with lots of large stones came from a volcanic eruption from Mt. Iraya in 400 AD.

“A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.”

Basco Lighthouse alomg the lush green hills and the open sea provide a beautiful backdrop for the lighthouse.

“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.” Paul Sweeney

Butch taking a photo of me

Close up view though pixelated

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. : – Mark Twain

Chawa View Deck, Mahatao

“For you wake one day, look around and say, somebody wonderful married me”. Fred Ebb

“Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.”- Chinese Proverb

Still at Cliffs of Chawa

“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret”. Henry Youngman

“Love is not blind – It sees more and not less, but because it sees more it is willing to see less.” Will Moss

View of Racuh A Payaman is spectacular. Watch the video below for the sound of the wind

“Marriage is a partnership in which each inspire the other, and brings fruition to both of you.” Millicent Carey McIntosh

Mahatao Church which is a National Cultural Treasure.

“There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage”. Martin Luther

writing the story of our love in Book 505. “MayWang A Libro Du Vatan” (Batanes Blank Book archive) a grant from the Asian Public Intellectuals Fellowship, The Nippon Foundation

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years”. Simone Signoret

Book 505 from the Batanes Blank book archive. When we return to Batanes, we continue our love story and write it down in Book 505.

Are we not like two volumes of single book ?

“The goal of our life should not be to find joy in marriage, but to bring more love and truth into the world.”

- Leo Tolstoy

For more photos, view my Batanes photo gallery.

—
I will write more about Batanes.

If you have not been there..trust me when I say everywhere in Batanes is picture-perfect. From the lighthouse in Naidi Hills, to the beautiful communal grazing area of Racuh a’ Payaman (or Marlboro country), and the rocky beach in Valuga.

You can fly to Batanes via BCTA chartered flights (Manila-Basco-Manila) at promotional price of 6,200 pesos one way using a British-made aircraft BAE-146. They have started accepting bookings on March 01. Flights will be Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays starting on March 15. The flight is only one hour and ten minutes, in the comfort of a 94-seater jet. For reservations please call the following hotlines: (02) 635-4810 / 546-1197 / 998-4303 / 475-5267 / 475-5260 / 0917-8112282 / 0999-8894106 / 0908-2309419 / 0922-8213717. or visit batanestravel.com for more details——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Should parents be taught sex education? is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger.Updated: Includes curated tweets during a discussion last April 21, 2012

“I tell people —You don’t want to talk to your child about your kids’ sex education. Well therefore, your child will learn sex through billboards, through internet, through magazine, through exploitative media outlets. Good luck. I talk to my children about sex because I rather they hear it from me from anyone else”, Pia Cayetano told us in Blog Watch just before the elections.

Take note, our bishops say that sex education should be left to the parents but welcomes teaching about it in college. The bishops think that sex education in public elementary and high schools may encourage promiscuity and early sexuality outside the sacrament of matrimony. In the proposed Reproductive Health Bill , sex education has been amended “Parents shall exercise the option of not allowing their minor children to attend classes pertaining to Reproductive Health and Sexuality Education.”

Sex education starts when our children are young. A mother told me that she wished she had taught her pregnant 18 year old daughter about sex. Her daughter thought she would never get pregnant in her first sexual experience. Another mom expressed her frustration:

They are bombarded by sexual messages from all sides of their life, and parents have to take an even bigger role now to provide them with balance. I want my girls to see their sexuality in a healthier light than I did, without all the misconceptions and guilt that came with it. It’s hard finding a balance between wanting them to be able to enjoy their sexuality without being ashamed of it, but also accept and be accountable to the responsibility that comes with it.

Ang_mungo, a young father said in twitter that

Sex ed needs to be taught in the context of values, of relationships and love. Otherwise, it will just be another biology lesson.

The focus of sex ed must be on responsibility, on consequences, and on the happiness it can bring two people who love each other.

My stand on sex education is

Sex education is about developing young people’s skills so that they make informed choices about their behaviour, and feel confident and competent about acting on these choices.

The schools together with the parents can bridge the gap of sex education but there seems to be a problem when the parents also have a lack of knowledge on reproductive health. We can’t assume parents know how to discuss sex openly. Some might be uneducated to understand the anatomy of reproduction and thus fail to grasp natural birth control methods.

The problem is do parents know how to teach sex education to their pre-teen children?

Children should only be taught by qualified teachers on sex education. Department of education said that intensive training will be given to teachers. Parents should also know what the school is teaching their kids. Is there a need for parent sexual education? I am sure parents will appreciate that.

What do you think?

Here is part of our twitter discussion on Twitter:

Photo: “mgo-00760 World Bank” by , c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Children have different learning styles is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger.Do not train children to learning by force and harshness, but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.
Plato

I had known all along that my two girls are unique in their own right. In the traditional way of schooling, my eldest daughter seemed to be smarter than my second daughter. Lauren could read and write before she was four years old. My other daughter Marielle was just different from Lauren. In fact my neighborhood tutor thought she was not smart. The tutor said Marielle could not read. I felt bad for her because I didn’t want her compared to her smarter sister. Along the way, I discovered Marielle could relate to me in great detail about a story told in her Nursery class. By sheer luck or was it fate, I stumbled upon “Unicorns are Real”:A Right Brained Approach to Learning” by Barbara Meister Vitale at a book sale. I wrote more about how I used this book to stimulate Marielle’s learning process when she was six years old.

Fast forward.

My dyslexic and math-challenged daughter rose above the difficulties she faced through the years and graduated Magna Cum Laude in 2009.

I didn’t know the appropriate word back then. All I knew was my daughters learned things differently. Lauren can only study when her surroundings are quiet. Marielle loves to move around in different places to study. I wish there were more schools back then that gave options for my children’s learning styles. In fact, I believed Lauren did not thrive in a traditional school. She started to lose interest in studying by the time she reached Grade 4. Today , she tells me that she wished she were in a smaller school or got home-schooled.

Lesson learned: Each child has different learning strengths and preferences and the abilities to focus and learn. In fact, I want parents to research more about other schools or modes of learning if faced with frustration on their child’s learning pace. How many of your child’s grades did not meet expectation of their potential?

It is interesting to visit schools so I can share to other parents that there are choices. A visit to Eton International School (ETON) revealed two unique aspects in their school’s curriculum: learning styles and 3D Based curriculum.

Learning Styles

Eton uses Dunn and Dunn Learning Styles System to help every person discover and reach his or her highest potential. I already knew this after seeing my two girls finish college. There are two general processing styles: the analytical and the global.

What does it mean?

Global learners, for example, absorb new knowledge faster in an environment with soft lighting and non-traditional seating. They also need to take breaks, eat snacks, go around, and listen to music. On the other hand, analytic learners learn best in an environment with bright light and traditional seating positions. They want a quiet room, with no interruptions or disruptions.

Jacqueline Marzan-Tolentino, the owner/President of Eton even administered a Learning Styles assessment test. After a fun three minutes of coloring the sheets of papers with fellow blogger Arpee, the test confirmed that I am an analytical learner.

You might want to know more about the Dunn & Dunn Learning Styles Model that ETON uses in its curriculum. You will note the Dunn and Dunn model is based on five strands of 21 elements of learning: environmental, emotional, sociological, physiological, and psychological.

Knowing the learning styles of a child, the teachers adapt the needs and learning preferences. ETON takes it further by encouraging parents to take the definitive assessment test, too, so they can also understand the similarities and differences of learning styles between themselves and their children. I love this idea to minimize conflict between parents and their children on their learning style. A “malikot” child would be chastised to sit still and study when in fact, the child learns best by moving his body.

3-D Based Curriculum

I first got introduced to ETON’s 3-D based curriculum when I was their speaker for the 8th Leadership Awards and talked of Parenting in the new digital age. They were launching their new 3D based curriculum using technology from Eureka and thought I’d speak on the advantages of using new technology to help kids today learn more.

It is my belief that new technology in the classroom brings fun and excitement to learning, lessons are captivating and engaging, many abstract subjects become tangible for students . It can also cultivate mastery of lessons and shortened period of teaching.

Eureka, the 3D software forms an essential part of ETON’s K to 12 education in the fields of Science and Math. The software covers over 1000 topics of 3D simulations and 3D videos in Biology, Physics, and Chemistry and in different fields of Math. How can learning not be fun with these teaching aids?

Knowing that ETON will soon use a 3D curriculum in Science and math, I wish they were around in the nineties. My two girls often struggled with Mathematics. Imagine if the Math 3D curriculum was part of their Math classes. I am sure my girls would have appreciated Math more.

Learning angles in Geometry

If you are shopping for a non-traditional school or an alternative to traditional schools, check out Eton International School. Don’t take my word for it. It is important to know what you want for your child. Investigate the school’s teaching methods if it will stimulate or hone your child’s talents, strengths and interests. This might just be the school that match the individual needs and interests of your child. It is important for parents to understand that it is not so much that every child should be taught but to draw out the child’s desire to learn and to discover and reach his or her highest potential.

Visit www.eton.edu.ph for more details.——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Sunflowers spark hope for the new graduates is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger.”Flowers have an expression of countenance as much as men and animals. Some seem to smile; some have a sad expression; some are pensive and diffident; others again are plain, honest and upright, like the broad-faced sunflower and the hollyhock.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Summer afternoon…oh the summer afternoon. I would rather have the summer heat than the winter cold.

It was the perfect time last April 7 to view the gorgeous and bold sunflowers at the UP Diliman campus, the place where my husband and I met 34 years ago ( You can read our love story.) I wore my pretty yellow sun hat to protect me from the scorching heat just so I won’t get a migraine.

Today, at the University of the Philippines, 3,998 graduates will be marching to receive their diplomas at the UP Diliman’s 101st general commencement exercises. They will pass through the “waysides on University Avenue as thousands of sunflowers—those huge, bright yellow blooms used to depict the sun—greet graduating students .” Graduation is not complete without the sunflowers.

The heat did not bother me that time. I recall Helen Keller quote about sunflowers. “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do. ”

The sunflowers with its bright yellow petals were stunning! It only blossoms on April just before the annual university graduation. Sunflowers spark hope for the new graduates. A subtle message seems to beckon graduates to look forward to a bright future.

I was fortunate enough to see the Sunflowers at its full bloom. Cars barely drove by the avenue. No security guards to bother us. The Sunflower heads gazed towards the oblation, as it worships the sun.

The bright, blooming sunflower heads , symbolic of the sun itself represents warmth, happiness and all things positive. The sunflower is the happiest flower of all and it gave such a cheerful atmosphere that sunny afternoon. It was a delight to just admire the scenery. I call out my husband to pose for me.

I discovered Sunflowers can be said to hold a very spiritual meaning. “The flowers appear to loyally and devoutly follow the course of the sun as it moves across the sky from the East to the West. In a spiritual sense, the sunflower is seen as a genuine follower of the sun. The sunflower will seek out the light, no matter how little light there is and hold their heads high in worship. Just like having a faith, these flowers are a symbol of constant, true and unswerving loyalty to something bigger and brighter than themselves.”

I like its symbolism of faith, loyalty and adoration. The idea that the sunflower follows the path of the sun all day means that it is seen as a symbol of unbending faith, loyalty and devoted love.

The sunflowers remind me of our love and devotion to each other. Yes, my husband just had to be in this photo he took of me.

Image credit : here——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Sex Education in the Philippines is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger.April 20, 2012- I first wrote about sex education in the Philippines in July 21, 2006. This blog post shows how interested online readers are on sex education. Read the comments

News Update (March 11, 2008)- Bishop, prolife group to challenge QC sex education ordinance in Supreme Court

What is happening to our sex education?

Is this a power struggle between the Catholic Church and our government? I will not talk about the political aspect of sex education in our country . Let’s look at this statement from Dr. Angelita Aguirre, head of Human Life International. (CBCP: Scrap sex lessons)

“The module should be scrapped. It does not have the emotional, psychological and spiritual dimensions of human sexuality. This is very important,”

“The code of morality is high. We are not pagans. We would like to pressure everybody indulging in a conjugal act to get married first,” she said.

Aguirre pointed out that the modules did not mention that a person had to get married before having sex.

As a concerned parent of two girls, I took an active role in teaching the basics of sex education. The high school that my daughter attended did not include sex education in their curriculum.Much as I want my 2 girls to get married first before having sex, this kind of sex education strategy (get married before having sex) does not make sense to teens these days. First of all, some Catholic schools instill fear of committing sin even on sexual feelings. Why can’t they explain about raging hormones instead of judging their feelings? It’s a confusing time for teenagers. Most often, these high school girls turn to their girl classmates for relationships. How many girl-girl relationships are occuring in all girl schools? Often, the school turns a blind eye because these relationships won’t induce pregnancy. Secondly, our teens are exposed to sexual images in magazines, TV, movies and the internet.

The issue of morality can be taught separately from sex education. Morality is taught in the Christian Living Education or its equivalent like Values Education.

God has a strong view of any kind of immorality, so we should try to err on the side of purity. For example, the apostle Paul said that the Church will be presented to Christ as a pure virgin bride:

“I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” (2 Corinthians 11:2)

My mother discussed sex openly with me when I was 15 years old. I knew the morality issue already and formed my own beliefs at that age. Mom didn’t have to go through the graphic details but what struck me was the responsibility of the sexual act. In the same manner, I discussed sex education with the 2 girls as “are you ready to have children?”

When they blurted “NO WAY“, I added “Then you should abstain until you are ready“. My own definition of “readiness” is when one is married but I didn’t want to explicitly state that fact yet.

I continued “Don’t even believe your boyfriend when he says he has protection“.

They giggled. I gave a clear example of a family friend who got pregnant at the age of 18 because she thought she wouldn’t get pregnant at that age. Besides it was her first time.

Then I continued “just one tiny drop contains millions of sperm to impregnate you. It takes only 1 sperm cell, mind you!”

Then I proceeded to explain how the second daughter and Luijoe were conceived …and…

“ewww. I dont want to listen now”

I explained condoms, birth control etc are not fool proof methods of birth control.

We need to teach them responsible parenthood in consonance with the sex education. We don’t need to teach everything but at least give them the basic facts. Along the way, the children can do some more research on their own.

Phillipine Catholic Bishops Oppose Sex-Ed in Schools, Say it Should be Left to Parents is true if all parents know how to discuss sex with their children. We can’t assume parents know how to discuss sex openly. Some might be uneducated to understand the anatomy of reproduction and thus fail to grasp natural birth control methods.

The schools together with the parents can bridge the gap of sex education.

Visit the Pinoy Travel Booking Engine and take that romantic vacation to the Islands of the Philippines. Book your airplane tickets here.——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Life is about making choices is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger.“The end result of your life here on earth will always be the sum total of the choices you made while you were here.”

I have choices. We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see.

People may feel trapped in their relationships, their jobs and their lives. They may feel locked in a controlling or caretaking behavior.

Feeling trapped is sympton of codependency. A long time ago, I use to be a codependent. I should know. Yup, I drove myself crazy and my family even crazier. Haha.

I often heard myself saying “I have to take care of ..”.

“I have to say yes”

“I have to control …”

” I have to behave this way, think this way, feel this way…”

I know I was choosing not to see choices. It seems that being trapped is really an illusion. Are you really trapped?

I know I am not anymore.

All that unhealthy behavior changed seven years ago when I recognized that I had choices. Healthy choices.

I an NOT controlled by circumstances, my past, my expectations of others or unhealthy expectations for ourselves.

I choose what feels right for me, without guilt.

I have options.

Recovery is not about acting perfectly or according to someone else’s rules.

Recovery is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose.

I choose to open my thinking and myself to choices available to me.

I make choices that are good to me.

I choose to be happy.

I choose not to live a life of misery despite losing a son.

I choose to try to do good for others.

I choose to use my blog as a vehicle for advocacy.

I choose to love my country and do what I can to help.

I choose to live a meaningful life.

I choose love above everything, because

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Have you made choices that are good to you lately?

Here are some thoughts to ponder on about making choices. These quotes are culled from Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s book called “Choices.”

“The choices we make by accident are just as important as the choices we make by design.”

“Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.”

“Whatever you choose, you might as well enjoy it. It is your choice.”

“When you have a problem, make a choice…you’ll feel better.”

“No one else can ever make your choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life.”

“You may think that in life, a lot of things happen to you along the way. The truth is, in life, you happen to a lot of things along the way.”

“Some people choose to live by complaining. Other people choose to live.”

“It is your programming that has created your choices in the past. It is the choices you make today that are creating the programs of your future.”

“There is no life as complete as the life that is lived by choice.”

“It is only when you exercise your right to choose that you can also exercise your right to change.”

“If you were given only one choice: To choose or not to choose, which would you choose?”

“Another person’s choice is nothing more than another alternative for you to consider.”

“There may be a thousand little choices in a day. All of them count.”

“The choices we make in the heat of emotion would be better if left for some other day.”

“Listen to the quietest whispers of your mind. They are telling you the choices that will help you the most.”

“If you’d like to know what your choices have been, look at yourself and the life you have lived. What you see is the choices you’ve made.”

“Who knows what you could accomplish in life if you made more of the right choices along the way?”

“You cannot manage your life if you do not manage your self. You cannot manage your self if you do not manage your choices. Manage your choices, and you will manage your life.”

“Learning what to choose, and how to choose, may be the most important education you will ever receive.”

“Those who choose to succeed always do better than those who never choose at all.”

“The highest levels are most certainly filled with those who chose to be there.”

“Even the best of choices is only as strong as the choices that stand by its side.”

“It is the big choices we make that set our direction. It is the smallest choices we make that get us to the destination.”

“Each day that passes, your choices will come and go. They are like diamonds in a chest of jewels, each waiting to be discovered.”

“If you have to take time to make a choice, take time. Then make the choice.”

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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

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What rocks my socks at the 2nd IMMAP Open Mic Night: A Fishbowl Evening is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

Good grief. What am I doing here?

If I were seated here, watching this event 12 years ago, I will not be able to recognize myself.

My grief , the loss of my son brought me to where I am today. A whole new world. A blogger that talks about “Touched by an Angel” at her blog, the aboutmyrecovery.com . A blogger that talks of Blog Watch, a citizen media endeavor.

From a homemaker to a whole new world as a blogger, citizen media and as features editor of an alternative online magazine, the Philippine Online Chronicles, I often wonder…what would I have been doing if I did not move on towards a positive resolution of my grief? Never did I conceive that the shy old me would land on TV, newspaper, radio, magazine as a resource person for grief, then later in blogging then social media for the elections. Blogging brought me new friends, reconnected with old friendships, brought me to travel places. It taught me to be more confident.

Not a day passes when I do not think of my loved ones who have gone on. I often still wonder how my life would have turned out if they were still with me. When the going gets rough in social media, I remember that the pain of losing my son is worst.

I am reminded of my friend Cathy when she wrote about The good from the grief. Eleanor Roosevelt said as she reflected upon her transition from first lady to private citizen after her husband died: “Every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before.

“If you can live through that, you can live through anything. You gain courage, strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

Watch #whatrocksmysocks video

What rocks my socks is being a blogger and evolving to cover a larger goal- to advocate social change .

My new normal as a blogger served me well: my role as a bereaved mother is no longer the first way I define who I am, but it is ever-present in my life and cannot be separated from all that I am . . . for the rest of my life.

I realized that Luijoe’s death gave me courage even if it took me five years to realize it. Courage to let life go on, to give myself a chance that new and good things will happen to me that will add JOY to my life. I felt he wanted me to carry on the comfort to others.

Working with my advocacy is also my way of keeping Luijoe’s memory alive in the next couple of years. I also know that every time I comfort a bereaved parent or sibling, my actions are a living tribute to my child.

Thank you IMMAP for the opportunity to share my story.

Read RECAP: THE IMMAP OPEN MIC NIGHT 2 from Carlo Ople and check out more photos here.

Thank you Internet and Mobile Marketing Association of the Philippines (IMMAP), TV5 and The Peninsula Manila and others such as Yehey!, Wunderman, 1DMG, Leo Burnett & Arc Worldwide, LoudWhistle, Ripple 100, GoMotion, TV5, Peachtree SEO and eLearning Edge. Media partners: Adobo Magazine, Inquirer, and Rappler.com. Official beverage partner for the night: Casa Noble

#Whatrocksmysocks speakers aside from myself:

-Ivy Almario, Interior Designer
-Marthyn Cuan, CIO at Meralco
-Manny Osmena, Cebu’s top winemaker, Manny O
-Glenmarc Antonio, Famous cosplayer

Photo credits: Some photos from Jane Uymatiao, Jaypee David , Carlo Ople and Jules Mariano. Thanks a lot——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

“How to Please your Mother-in-law without losing yourself” is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger. Looks like a few readers are interested in the upcoming, unwritten book on “How to Please Your Mother-in-law without losing your identity“. It’s not an impossible book. Based on practical tips from successful daughter-in-laws (like myself, I would hope so) who get along with their mother-in-laws, here are some:

1. Live as far apart from your mother-in-law. If she is based in Manila, move to South Africa. The farther you are, the fonder her heart will be towards you.

2. Give her a round trip ticket for a two to three weeks stay but make sure the ticket cannot be rebooked. How she will love you for your generosity. Repeat this practice every two to three years.

3. Praise her on how wonderful her son is and how her parenting style truly molded his character.

4. Take cooking, baking, sewing, crafts, gardening and household lessons. Not only will you benefit from the lessons but your mother in law will be impressed. Of course you didn’t do it to impress her.

5. Pray everyday. You know that she will never change her ways. Pray to get strength to go through another day and that your marriage will not be affected in a negative light.

Now this is nothing new but it works.

Here is something too funny not to share:

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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

“If I die, Mama, will I be alive again?” , my son asked. is a post from: A Filipina Mom Blogger

Tweet Follow me in twitter @momblogger.“If I die, Mama, will I be alive again?” Luijoe asked. My six-year-old was lying on the bed, flipping through the prayer books piled on his tummy.

It was Holy Week, a month before that fateful day of May 27, 2000.

I turned my body to face his and stroked his cheek. How could I explain the mysteries of death to a little boy? “When we die, Lui, we will live forever, through eternal life in heaven,” I said the lines I’d memorized from the teachings of our Catholic Church.

“When I die, I will be alive again!” he exclaimed, jumping in bed, arms wide in exuberance.

“Yes, baby, you will live forever, but not on Earth.” I smiled at his childish enthusiasm and wide-eyed wonder. “I won’t see you anymore but you will have eternal life with God.”

With a serious look on his face, he asked “Mama, who goes to heaven?” His chubby fingers twirled on the strands of my hair. He sniffed the ends and splayed my hair along his cheeks.

“Good boys go to heaven and usually they become angels.”

“I don’t want to go to hell,” he said with vehemence.

I hugged him, said he was a good boy, and promised that he would never go to hell.

Head bowed, he picked up a prayer book to continue praying, then looked up. With both hands planted firmly on my cheeks, he asked, “Are the clouds heaven?”

“I’m not sure if the clouds are heaven, but it’s somewhere up there and hell is down there,” I said, kissing his fat cheeks.

He never tired of asking the same questions over and over again, as though reassuring himself that there were angels that protected him and that heaven was a beautiful place to go when someone died.

Why had I not seen our conversation as a sign that something devastating was about to happen? If I had sensed the omen then, could I have prevented his death? Had Luijoe known he was leaving us soon and in his childlike way, tried to warn me?

(The above is an excerpt from the story I wrote on Luijoe’s Life and Death from The Fallen Cradle edited by Agnes Prieto)

Sometimes I wished I had the power to go back in time and stopped his death. Of course that is not possible. Those wonderful words he told me weeks before his death is what keeps my faith alive.

Luijoe’s words never fail to bring me hope that we will reunite one day. It gives me the courage to put meaning in my life.

My religious background always taught me that Jesus is in Heaven with God and the angels and that Heaven is a place to go , but … only after we die. The ultimate questions rests on , “how can anyone see or experience Heaven after they’re dead, since we’re taught when you die, everything ceases to exist? ” “Or does the spirit live on?” Has anyone actually heard a heaven testimonial from a loved one?

Another common question is “What is the use in striving for something that is intangible, invisible and unseen? Or … is it? Eternal Life seems so elusive.

Yet I will go with my faith. I believe my greatest proof is my son when he innocently exclaimed that “When I die, I will be alive again” two weeks before his untimely death. How simplistic but that is faith.

Faith is one of the virtues that keeps me alive and going in this temporary world.

“I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” (John11:25,25)

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16)

May Easter Day remind us not only of our Lord’s resurrection but also that of our precious children. We hope your celebration of Easter is filled with the joy the Christ offers in his resurrection.

Happy Easter day to all.
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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado