Follow me in twitter @momblogger.The rules of parents are all but three. Love, Limit and Let them be. – Elaine M. Ward

“For the hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world” is such a memorable quote that I took to heart the day I cradled my beautiful baby in my arms. The concept that your child becomes in their life starts with what they learn from their moms bore quite a big responsibility. As much as I want to give them the best in life, things are never perfect, you see.

Right after Luijoe, my beloved son, died in 2000, I survived many days in auto-pilot mode, moving about our lovely home like a zombie. My child was not supposed to die before me. Nothing could ever have prepared me for the devastating loss of my son. Looking at my two lovely daughters, I knew that I had to go through this pain and be strong enough for them to be there as their mother. The two girls seemed to go through their life with school and their friends, but I can never tell for sure. Their grades improved significantly right after my son’s death, perhaps trying to make us happy.

Showing my pain as a normal process of grief and isolation is not the healthy way to grieve. Marital strain and stress in the family became more evident. I could not reach out to my husband in pain because there were days when I was my own ball of pain. I became borderline obese, with high blood pressure, clogged arteries and diabetes. With our family life in shambles, an idea dawned on me one day in November 2004. Was it Luijoe showing me the light? I felt the urge to bring our life in order. I started fixing my personal issues, exercised and lost significant weight. With a healthier body, the fog that clouded my mind cleared up. I reached out to my husband and family and became more open with my feelings. My children witnessed my transformation to a new, positive person and loving mother because of the actions I took to save myself.

My daughters learned of the language of resiliency from the actions I embarked on this new life. Resiliency begins with how parents personally handle adversity. Examples of adversity is not limited to just death. It can be about losing a job, being diagnosed with a serious illness, recovering from a failed relationship, maintaining balance between work and family life, and dealing with difficult people.

Let’s face it. As much as we want to protect our children from difficulty, we simply cannot. Resiliency is the number one skill they need to learn. What can we do to help prepare our children for the road ahead? In the book, “Raising Resilient Children,” Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein define resilience as “embracing the ability of a child to deal more effectively with stress and pressure, to cope with everyday challenges, to bounce back from disappointments, adversity, and trauma, to develop clear and realistic goals, to solve problems, to relate comfortably with others, and to treat oneself and others with respect..”

The fact that they saw their mother hurdle a crisis is a valuable lesson learned. Aside from being a positive role model to my children, I taught them other powerful thinking tools to equip them to face adversity:

1.Tell them there is always a choice

I often tell my children that there is a choice about what to do, how to respond and how to feel. It is alright to feel sadness and be honest about one’s feelings.

2. Teach gratitude

I allow my children to express their fears and disappointment but at the end of the day, I ask them “can you count your blessings?” Teach them to find the good in every situation. I tell them to appreciate what they have and focus on it rather than obsess on what they do not have.

3. Teach them to master a skill

I allowed my kids to develop their talent in music and writing. Mastering a skill generates positive feedback for their achievements and hard work. These motivate them to keep moving forward despite the challenges.

Blessed is the child who learns to respond instead of react, to choose positivity instead of misery, and to solve problems instead of remaining stuck when faced with life’s most important decisions. Parents play a significant role in the development of resilience in their children. The hand that rocks the cradle may not rule the world, but it certainly makes it a better place, at least for our children.

Photo credit——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

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Follow me in twitter @momblogger.The most important political office is that of the private citizen. ~Louis Brandeis

I love my children.
I think of their future.
I hope for a good leader.

We all want that for our children, right? So listen up…we need to do our share in helping our country change for the better.

Be part of the change for the better by starting with yourself. .It starts with YOU..in choosing candidates that will work for your children’s future. Armed with that choice, you need to go out and vote .

But your part does not end in casting your ballot. Be champions of Honest, Orderly and Peaceful Elections by taking action on the 2013 elections. Social media has made it easier for citizens to participate in the electoral process. You can make a difference by being part of the #juanvote network of citizen voters empowered with their social media tools.

As netizens, we have the social media capital and channels to make our votes count, to help educate both candidates and voters, and help expand the coverage of the elections beyond what we see on TV and hear on the radio.

It was in 2010 that Filipino netizens formed #juanvote network to monitor elections online . This year, we are using the same hashtag to report law violations. Why?

We want to keep a close watch on today’s elections. The name #juanvote is used because the network calls on citizens to use hi-tech means to expose and hopefully thwart electoral fraud and violence. These elections are very important. We have to make sure that the candidates know that netizens and other citizens want changes and reforms to keep the internet free, to improve and expand internet access, check telco abuses, and make government more transparent and accountable. These issues could be addressed by candidates who have a clear stand on the laws we want repealed or bills we want passed into law.

I call on bloggers and all netizens to tweet using the #juanvote hashtag. Tweet that you have voted. Tweet if you see law violations and problems during the voting,

Take up the challenge to make a difference no matter how small just like Krem- Top’s campaign “Change for the better” .

Today May 13, do your share in helping the nation change for the better.

A Moment of Silence or a prayer of Hope for all of you.

—-, let me be the change I want to see
To do with strength and wisdom
All that needs to be done
And become the hope that I can be.
Set me free from my fears and hesitations.
Grant me courage and humility.
Fill me with spirit to face the challenge
And start the change I want to see.
Today, I start the change I want to see.
Even if I’m not the light, I can be the spark.
In faith, service and communion
Let us start the change we want to see,
The change that begins in me

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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Follow me in twitter @momblogger.Mothers of daughters are daughters of mothers and have remained so, in circles joined to circles, since time began – Signe Hammer

Gone are the days when I’d tie pretty pink ribbons on their hair. These days, we borrow each other’s clothes, make-up, accessories that our helper can’t tell anymore who owns a particular clothing item. Lauren does my makeup on special occasions. I tell her to camouflage my sagging eyelids and does a good job at it. They update me with the latest fashion. They serve as my personal stylist suggesting colors, hairstyle, makeup. Oh and one time, I borrowed money to pay our electric bill when I was short in cash.

Of course , motherhood wasn’t all that smooth-sailing , having gone through stages of motherhood that went rocky in the teen years.

Don’t these words sound familiar?

4 Years Of Age – My Mommy can do anything;
8 Years Of Age – My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot
12 Years Of Age -My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 Years Of Age -Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either
16 Years Of Age -Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned
18 Years Of Age -That old woman? She’s way out of date
25 Years Of Age -Well, she might know a little bit about it
35 Years Of Age -Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion
45 Years Of Age -Wonder what Mom would have thought about it
65 Years Of Age -Wish, I could talk it over with Mom

For each phase of motherhood involved adjustment and letting go.

I know I have been an disappointment in the turbulent years of my grief. I often wondered how to make up for those lost years and I read somewhere that the best way to help your kids is just taking care of yourself and they will follow suit. Like Wayne Dyer said, “Your children will see what you’re all about by what you live rather than what you say.” We muddled through those tough years, and after much trial and error, I believe we have now come full circle.

So gone are those days when I would nag “Ugh , clean up your room.” These days “your room is so pretty if it were just more organized” which often leads to action. I want them to enjoy life, party hard, be safe and responsible.

What I hope most for my daughters is that they soar confidently in their own sky, whatever that may be.

I wish they will always be with me to love and to hold but I know at the same time, I should just step back and watch then fly high and free. Now they have flown their wings and I am left with an empty nest. Though it makes me a bit sentimental, I am glad I gave up my career to be with them during their growing years.

Happy Mother’s day to everyone.
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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Follow me in twitter @momblogger.This is my #juanvote Blog Action day post:

It is five days before May 13, 2013.

I made a choice.

I have only three in my list.

You ask, “So who are you voting?”

It does not matter who my candidate is. As project editor of Blogwatch.ph, it is prudent that I keep that choice privately. Oh yes, netizens, friends, and relatives  ask me and I tell them my choices and the reasons behind my choice and why I did not vote for the others .

Certain quarters cannot distinguish me as a voter and me, as the editor.  I want Blog Watch to remain non-partisan. I can tell you  though that I will vote with my conscience.

My decision was based on an article I wrote  Voting matrix: How to select a candidate to vote for as senator .

Click to enlarge

This election day is start of new things to come. Changes need to be made. Enough of political dynasty. There is no law that stops them from running but my vote may make a difference if I start today. I voted for you because you are not associated with a dynasty.

I made a choice to vote those NOT associated with a fat political dynasty (having immediate family members running or currently holding an elective position) .

Why the big deal on political dynasty?  Most say the people decide on election day. This is democracy. But is it really democracy?  My rationale is based on the explanation from  the Policy Study, Publication, and Advocacy (PSPA) Center for People Empowerment in Governance (CenPEG) October 3, 2012)

The concentration, expansion, and consolidation of political dynasties over the past 100 years attests to the continuing hegemony of feudal politics, the absence of any form of real democracy, and the continued powerlessness of a vast marginalized majority in the Philippines. Definitely alarming today is the entrenchment of the system of political dynasties on a higher and blatant scale making the fair representation of the large majority of Filipinos even more elusive.

Two of the seven desired criteria I identified carried the most weight :  supportive of women’s rights (maternal health) and standing up for children rights. The rest of my desired criteria were:

1. voting to repeal/amend the cybercrime law,
2. promotion of small and medium enterprises,
3. in favor of an anti-political dynasty law
4. Supportive of a divorce law
5. a pro-environmental platform .

These are my beliefs and issues that hold dear to me.  Your track record, competence and platforms were indeed good factors to consider in my decision making process.  The other non-quantifiable aspect is gut feel and your campaign strategy.

The way a candidate handles his/her campaign gives me an insight to the governance of this candidate.

I know impressions can be misleading  but I trust my gut feelings on my experience dealing with you. (Hint: my candidates are three of those Blog Watch interviewed: View Summary of podcast of the 10 candidates : Jun Magsaysay, Teddy Casino, Risa Hontiveros, Koko Pimentel, Edward Hagedorn, Cynthia Villar, Alan Peter Cayetano, Tingting Cojuangco, Gringo Honasan and Jack Enrile.) . I placed a big weight on this because I know you are busy but took time to talk two hours with ordinary citizens.

As a citizen-voter, I will practice continued vigilance and participate in governance.

I will participate in legislating laws through legislative advocacy, a process of engaging with the legislature and other governmental and social institution to ensure that the concerns and welfare of the general electorate be articulated in the deliberations of bills and other legislative measures as well as in the final versions of laws.

I know you will be good for the country and the future of my children’s children.

Sincerely,

@momblogger on Twitter

P.S. Here are other letters dedicated to you

A background material on political dynasties:

CenPEG Analysis : Horizontal and Vertical Expansion of Political Dynasties
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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

I managed to squeeze in some love-dovey moments at the height of the miting de avance of presidential candidates three years ago. Now it is the 2013 mid-term elections and luckily today is a Sunday so I am spending it with my daughter. Sadly, my second daughter is now in Germany and can’t spend it with us but the memories of being together the past years is enough to get me by.

When Butch and I shared our 25th wedding anniversary celebration with a sprinkle of old and new friends, family and relatives, it was truly a celebration. We had so much fun. our guests were entertained with the video of our wedding 25 years ago along with live violin music . It felt strange seeing our young selves, 25 years ago. Guests who were present in our wedding laughed as they saw their young and slimmer figures.

Butch and I still look good. My husband looks gorgeous even with silver-gray hair. Celebrating our love with our two lovely girls (and Luijoe in our hearts) made it such a memorable occasion. Yup, we are still in love with each other but not after loving and hating each other many, many times in the past 25 years. Not after I broke my leg from leaving the house.

Friends of my husband think I should be given an “accomplishment award”. Haha, they know how difficult Butch can be. I also tell them that Butch never gave up even at the time I gave up on our marriage.

It was not an easy journey. I learned to let go of things that I had no control of and instead changed my attitude. We have three beautiful children, two with us to love and to hold , the other to dream, cherish and love always. Our bad times made our love even stronger. We made it this far. It called for a celebration.

I have found happiness with Butch. I know the place we live in earth will not last forever. I also know that the energy of love never dies as I have felt with the death of my son. I intend to treasure every single moment we’re alive, in love and together forever.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Follow me in twitter @momblogger.I am so proud of my husband. Not only is he the breadwinner, he’s also the cook during weekends. I’m lazy like that. But what I’m really proud off are the positive changes in him since we gave each other a second wind in our marriage. In the past, he’d find excuses to entertain clients in fine dining places or anywhere else but home.

Look at him now! A cook.

My stubborn nature often blamed my husband for the marital discord. A rock must have hit my head one day when I realized I, too, am part of the equation in the marriage. One of the many things I corrected was the way I’d argue with my husband. See, my husband rants a lot when he is frustrated and is quite short-tempered as a result. Oftentimes, I end up getting riled up when he is in that brooding mood. After 35 years of togetherness, I finally perfected the fine art of arguing with my dear husband. Here are my strategies :

1. Using powerful words such as “Yes, dear I see exactly where you’re coming from. You mean…….”
This statement makes it clear enough that I heard my husband. That’s all he really wants— to be validated. By agreeing with him, I gradually simmer down his anger.

2. Stay calm.
My husband has this awful habit of calling me up via cellphone when he is caught in traffic. All he does is huff and huff about the awful traffic jam. He doesn’t know this but I don’t place the earpiece on my ear. I place my ear every so often on the earpiece to see if he is done with his rant. In effect, I let the storm run its course. I can tell when he is done when I don’t hear his barking voice. I then say “Turn on the music and zone off”. Works like a charm.

3. Just let him babble on and on
Sooner or later, my husband will soon grow tired of his own voice. Sometimes that’s all he wants To be heard. To feel appreciated. In the meantime, as this is all happening, I …

4. Use the Power of Visualization
It’s hard to be the brunt of the rants. What I do is zone off and imagine him as my loving husband who is just venting out and when all the steam has been released, he will soon hug me and say “thanks for listening”.

5. Avoid “You should or you should not…”
At the heat of any argument, I don’t butt in and say “You shouldn’t feel that way” or “You should be calm”. When I am disappointed or impatient with his attitude, I just say “I feel sad that you are feeling that way”. By owning my feelings, I am not accusing him or making him responsible for my of sadness. Even if he seeks advice, I still say “I feel this is the right approach…” . I never say “you’re wrong.” I often try hard to look for areas of agreement and work on them.

In short, avoid the “you…” sentence.

6. When I’m wrong, I admit it.
I make mistakes now and then, so I say “You’re absolutely right, dear, I know it’s my fault and here is what I’ll do to make amends.” Even if I am NOT wrong, at least I give him the benefit of the doubt, “I may be wrong, let’s examine all the facts together.” It’s hard to argue with that.

If I had known earlier in life that my pride needed to take a backseat, then I would have saved a lot of heartache and energies. It’s not about winning an argument. It’s about peaceful co-existence without creating more conflict.

What other strategies have you used to resolve conflicts?——————————-
You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Follow me in twitter @momblogger.A long time ago when my children were still in school, M, my second daughter showed me her grades. She seemed happy and proud of herself, with good reason. Before you think that I am bragging about my daughter’s grades, I have a point to make. Let me tell you that once upon a time, this ignorant mother thought M was learning disabled or a slow learner. Looking at her grades of flat one (1 is the highest, 3 is the lowest yet passing grade, while 5 is failing at the State University), I kick myself for my mistakes yet marvel at M’s determination and confidence in overcoming her childhood challenges in a learning at a traditional school . My husband and I were both graduates of the same university but not once did we garner flat one grades in a semester. See, I compared M to L during the early growing years. L as a precocious little girl , talked in straight sentences just after she turned one year old, sight-reading at the age of 2 years and 3 months, writing her first story called “The Virus” and playing the piano at 4 years old and so much more. Not only that, L was the ideal well-behaved child who easily understood logical explanations which made her less prone to tantrums.

M is only a year and few months younger than L yet I saw marked differences in their learning development. M stuttered in her speech, had no interest in reading and just wanted to be with her sister. She seemed frustrated often and cried a lot. When I wanted to read a bedtime story to her, she balked and took the book away from me. “I want to read it myself”. I became worried that M had no interest in learning so I thought of sending her to nursery school at the age of 4 at the Miriam Child Study Center. She blossomed in that school but M still had speech problems and often confused left from right. Though she had made some progress with her basic reading, she didn’t do well in phonetics or writing. I didn’t want to pressure her anymore or compare her development with L . I thought maybe M was just slow. I shrugged at her below average grades.

At the time M turned 6 and about to enter first grade, I accidentally discovered “Unicorns are Real”:A Right Brained Approach to Learning” by Barbara Meister Vitale at a book sale. Scanning the book, the following sentences placed me on alert mode:

Within the last few years, some have called these children Alpha children, right-brained and creatively different. Recent research on the development and specialization of the brain has opened new doors to understanding how some children learn…..

Could M be predominantly right brained? I bought the book and immediately played a little game with M by going through the checklist. Out of the 26 characteristics displayed by right-hemispheric children, I observed 15 from M. The book says that there is no way to know whether a child has a dominant right or left hemisphere. The purpose of the screening is to give an idea of a child’s hemispheric preference for learning so that you can more accurately develop strategies for teaching that child or for helping him deal with his environment. I read through the sixty-five practical, easy-to-follow lessons to develop the much ignored right-brain tendencies of children. I won’t go through all the fun activities but let me just mention a few activities that brought sparkle to M’s eyes .

!. Haptic activities- writing on the child’s back, writing in the air and counting numbers by body movements I taught M the basics of Math using hopping and jumping.
2. Whole-word approach- M could not understand phonetics. It didn’t make sense. Whole words made sense. I wrote a word and told her what it meant and she understood it.
3. Flashlight tracking- I used the flashlight to write shapes, letters, numbers on the ceiling which forces the child to visualize the symbol that was drawn and activate the haptic system with the arm movement.

There are a lot more that we did that summer just before she entered first grade from letter and number recognition to body awareness and verbal expression. Little did I know that the 1994 summer was M’s turning point. A few months before M received her first grading report card, I held a 7th birthday party for M. Naturally the parents went along with their child. A mother approached me and gushed “My daughter told me so much about M. She is so smart. You must be a proud mother”.

I was “huh? really? I don’t think so. You must have mistaken me for another mother.” Then the mother got her child “Isn’t M the smartest in your class?”

I found out that M did top her class after I received her report card. The teacher must have seen my baffled expression. I laughed and heaved a sigh of relief “I am so happy because I always thought M was slow. I was worried that M would feel inferior to L.”

M still cannot write as nice as she would want it to be. Her penmanship is alright yet she feels it needs improvement. She mixes up numbers (56 could be 65). When she studied , she often gets up from her chair and moved around the room. She cannot sit still while studying. Colorful decors fill her notes. Though M doesn’t stutter anymore, at times she tends to jumble words when she’s tired. I may never know how M overcame her early learning difficulties.

Was it the brief summer activity that spurred her development? Was it the confidence she gained because she found a pathway to learning? Was it the recognition from M “You mean I’m not really dumb!” after I told her that she might be predominantly right-brained? I may never know but I am proud of her. Maybe I caught her preference for right brained thinking patterns just before she reached her 7th birthday.

Was she really right brained? I will never know. Let me just point you to The Natural Learning Development for Right-Brained Children on learning stages patterns in a right-brained child.

Don’t commit the same mistake I made. If your child is slow or learning disabled, maybe he or she is a right-brained , visual learner in an educational system designed for left-brained , auditory learners. If your child has difficulty understanding new concepts, seems confused or disinterested, the problem maybe the method of teaching rather the the student. You should know that unicorns are real.

M eventually graduated Magna Cum Laude at UP Diliman in 2009, took her post-graduate studies in Melbourne in 2012 and is currently working in Germany.

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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Follow me in twitter @momblogger.“The end result of your life here on earth will always be the sum total of the choices you made while you were here.”

I have choices. We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see.

People may feel trapped in their relationships, their jobs and their lives. They may feel locked in a controlling or caretaking behavior.

Feeling trapped is sympton of codependency. A long time ago, I use to be a codependent. I should know. Yup, I drove myself crazy and my family even crazier. Haha.

I often heard myself saying “I have to take care of ..”.

“I have to say yes”

“I have to control …”

” I have to behave this way, think this way, feel this way…”

I know I was choosing not to see choices. It seems that being trapped is really an illusion. Are you really trapped?

I know I am not anymore.

All that unhealthy behavior changed seven years ago when I recognized that I had choices. Healthy choices.

I an NOT controlled by circumstances, my past, my expectations of others or unhealthy expectations for ourselves.

I choose what feels right for me, without guilt.

I have options.

Recovery is not about acting perfectly or according to someone else’s rules.

Recovery is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose.

I choose to open my thinking and myself to choices available to me.

I make choices that are good to me.

I choose to be happy.

I choose not to live a life of misery despite losing a son.

I choose to try to do good for others.

I choose to use my blog as a vehicle for advocacy.

I choose to love my country and do what I can to help.

I choose to live a meaningful life.

I choose love above everything, because

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Have you made choices that are good to you lately?

Here are some thoughts to ponder on about making choices. These quotes are culled from Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s book called “Choices.”

“The choices we make by accident are just as important as the choices we make by design.”

“Choosing to live your life by your own choice is the greatest freedom you will ever have.”

“Whatever you choose, you might as well enjoy it. It is your choice.”

“When you have a problem, make a choice…you’ll feel better.”

“No one else can ever make your choices for you. Your choices are yours alone. They are as much a part of you as every breath you will take, every moment of your life.”

“You may think that in life, a lot of things happen to you along the way. The truth is, in life, you happen to a lot of things along the way.”

“Some people choose to live by complaining. Other people choose to live.”

“It is your programming that has created your choices in the past. It is the choices you make today that are creating the programs of your future.”

“There is no life as complete as the life that is lived by choice.”

“It is only when you exercise your right to choose that you can also exercise your right to change.”

“If you were given only one choice: To choose or not to choose, which would you choose?”

“Another person’s choice is nothing more than another alternative for you to consider.”

“There may be a thousand little choices in a day. All of them count.”

“The choices we make in the heat of emotion would be better if left for some other day.”

“Listen to the quietest whispers of your mind. They are telling you the choices that will help you the most.”

“If you’d like to know what your choices have been, look at yourself and the life you have lived. What you see is the choices you’ve made.”

“Who knows what you could accomplish in life if you made more of the right choices along the way?”

“You cannot manage your life if you do not manage your self. You cannot manage your self if you do not manage your choices. Manage your choices, and you will manage your life.”

“Learning what to choose, and how to choose, may be the most important education you will ever receive.”

“Those who choose to succeed always do better than those who never choose at all.”

“The highest levels are most certainly filled with those who chose to be there.”

“Even the best of choices is only as strong as the choices that stand by its side.”

“It is the big choices we make that set our direction. It is the smallest choices we make that get us to the destination.”

“Each day that passes, your choices will come and go. They are like diamonds in a chest of jewels, each waiting to be discovered.”

“If you have to take time to make a choice, take time. Then make the choice.”

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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Follow me in twitter @momblogger.My sewing teacher looked like she was going to burst an artery when she saw the cross-stitch pattern on my apron. The next thing I knew, the apron sat on my head. I recall the humiliation but thankfully, none of my classmates laughed. Maybe they did not want to be in my position. I was in third grade but I knew what she did was wrong. How could a teacher not tell me nicely that the original fox pattern-turned-catlike was all wrong? True, my sewing was horrible, but did she have to humiliate me? I can’t recall what happened after that. All I knew is I hated sewing classes and probably all teachers. She made me feel that I was hopeless in my sewing abilities. I got the message that “I can’t” sew rather than “I can” sew with proper guidance. Perhaps this incident discouraged me to try harder in my academics.

Pretty much of my grades during elementary and high school were at best mediocre. Among the four girls in my family, I had the lowest average. I wanted to make my dad proud of me, to see his smile when he looked at my grades. Sensing my dejected look , my dad talked to me “Don’t worry. I had grades like yours too. In college, that is where I found out I was smart.” His words were like a light bulb.

There is hope. I can be smart.

College came and just as my father had promised, I found my path. My father believed in me where teachers failed to. Every day of my life, I commemorate my father’s memory by carrying his name attached to my married name. He made me believe that “I can” do it even when I wavered in my self-esteem. How many of us have that one inspirational person who made a significant impact in our life?

There are pointers to recognize a child’s self worth. Some do’s and don’ts shared by esteemed child psychologist, Dr. Honey Carandang are worth mentioning at this point:

1. Spot the child’s area of competence and start to increase his self-worth through that area.

2. Don’t label the child. Labels have a way of becoming self-fulfilling prophecies.

3. Don’t insult the child’s person. When criticizing the behavior, provide alternatives. Suggesting a different way of doing something is always better than saying, “You are lazy and you don’t know how to sew.”

Dr. Carandang adds: “A teacher, parent or significant adult has that power to build or put down a child’s self-worth, which is being developed with every interaction he/she has with the adult.” This reminds me of my favorite song “Greatest Love of All” popularized during my college days that I sang to my dad together with my siblings. The words of the song goes like this :

“I believe that children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be”

Not about to be haunted for life with my traumatic sewing experience, I took up the challenge that I could actually sew something. I managed to come up with cross-stitch projects as I patiently breast-fed my youngest child. These projects are now displayed on my kitchen wall, a proud statement that the “I can’t do it” is a challenge they can actually take to “ I can do it” one day.

I’d like to believe that the greatest gift we can ever give to our children is a healthy and positive self-concept. This concept of self-worth is also what our country needs today.

This post is in honor of my parents who were also teachers. My dad Jose P. Lardizabal (Accounting / MBA teacher) and mom, Salustiana Veloso (English and Speech teacher), not only gave me the greatest gift of all but taught many students out there.

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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado

Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

If there is anything my daughters (especially my eldest girl) cannot imagine is a young and wild me. True, I was once young (still young), a 105 pound slim and anti-social girl who’d rather pour over her school text books than gallivant around with her roommates or officemates. I never considered myself “wild” , not wild enough to party out during weekends. Not wild enough to bend a few rules here and there.

I am the sister who admonished her siblings NOT to stay out late. The only time I ever went home late was at 2:00 AM only because my ex-boyfriend drove me all the way from Quezon City to Las Pinas. To think that I was then 24 years old, living independently since college graduation and I had the freedom to go out anywhere I wished.

I was like the manang.

I am the sister who shook her head and berated her sisters whenever I see them scurrying off like rats over to the door as soon as my dad fell asleep. If only he knew.

I am the sister who got appalled whenever her other sisters climbed over the gates of our house after curfew hours. Of course, I never tattle-taled on them.

The two “wildest” things I ever did in my life was smoking (yes, bad!) and oogling at cute guys while abroad during a conference I attended with my sister Lorna and dad. The year was in 1984, a year before I got married. Butch told me that I should take this vacation because once we got married, he is not sure if he can bring me around the world. (He still hasn’t.)

I thought that it is my last time to “appreciate” the cute guys (I still do!) without the guilt so why not? My sister, the sociable one always broke the ice when we met these cute guys. I can’t remember if I flirted or not. Maybe not because one time, a British guy stalked me as I loitered around the trade hall. Of course I snubbed the creep because girls don’t like to be stalked no matter how cute they are. The temerity of this guy! He had the gall to say that I was racist, just because of his color. Oh wow. I could have slapped him right there and then.

My ex-boyfriend must have been attracted to my boring personality because one day he suddenly blurted in that sexy voice, You are like a rock to me. I must have also been attracted to his wild, reckless and unconventional ways too. We easily complemented each other. Sometimes, I see a little of myself in Marielle (she’s more sociable than I was at her age) and my husband in Lauren though I know they are their own unique persons.

Do I regret not being a bit more wild?

Yes and no. No, because my personality is probably like that and Yes because I should have been more easygoing. I’ve evolved to a more laid-back person in the past years. Though I might have aged and grown bigger the past 29 years since those photos were taken, I still feel young and in every essence, happy. Age is not a factor to be considered “wild” and carefree.

I have never been happier in my life. I don’t pine for the good old days of my un-reckless lost youth. When I look back at my life , I don’t think in terms of my losses. I think of all the experience gained. And I look forward with enthusiasm about experiences that have yet to be enjoyed with my husband, my 2 daughters, my blogger friends, the Compassionate Friends group, the citizen advocates of Blog Watch and my wonderful, loving siblings.

It’s one reason I want to venture into new activities or cultivate new friendships. There is always something fun to do.

To be young and wild is all about attitude.
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You might also want to read Positive Mental Energy and Affirmations and my other blogs like Free Filipino Food Recipes, Shopping Finds, Pinoy Food Photo Blog and Techie Gadgets. Or Follow me in twitter @momblogger.

How about visiting my Beauty over 50 blog?

Hope you can drop by! Thanks for visiting…Noemi Lardizabal-Dado.

Add me in Facebook by introducing yourself. My facebook is at facebook.com/noemidado