IN AN ABSOLUT WORLD

even the straight dudes are into stitching and bitching

absolut_admin — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:18:12 +0000

I like beer, sports, and video games as much as the next guy. But I wouldn’t mind a world where guys talk to each about more than which actress is the hottest. I’ve envied girlfriends who get to sit around and talk about relationships and their childhoods, and who laugh about sex instead of brag [...]

face-to-face conversation doesn’t have to be planned weeks in advance

absolut_admin — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:13:06 +0000

There aren’t three invites, two cancellations, and a series of text messages exchanged, all for a one-hour coffee date with a friend that was initially planned a month ago. The constant barrage of communication these days—on social networking websites, through cell phones, email, IMs and chat rooms—causes technology faigue. It’s all too complicated and cold. [...]

telling your parents you want to go to art school doesn’t give them an anxiety attack

absolut_admin — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:09:42 +0000

On the contrary, they’re relieved that you want to do something creative with your life. Especially because art school tuition isn’t $40,000 a year—it’s free and subsidized by the government. The new administration has spearheaded an initiative that uses art to transform downtrodden places. Artists have been assigned to beautify decaying urban neighborhoods and poor [...]

teleporting replaces the subway as a transportation option

absolut_admin — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:31:42 +0000

Scotty doesn’t have to be there to beam you up. For your morning commute, you just drink a little water, say a blessing, enter the portal, and sit in the lotus position to get the right energy flowing for the transmission of your body. The portals are personal like cars, but don’t wreak havoc on [...]

pets don’t have designer clothes or personal therapists

absolut_admin — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:26:36 +0000

The cute little pooches—the Chihuahuas, the pugs, the dachshunds, the toy poodles—aren’t stuffed into polo shirts, cashmere sweaters, and fleeces and paraded through the park like models. Unknowing kitties aren’t hissing in their analyst’s office. Pet owners come to the realization that their pets aren’t people. And once they start spending a little more time [...]

gallery openings are less about what everyone’s wearing and more about the art

absolut_admin — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:25:39 +0000

I’ll admit it. In college I went to gallery openings to score the free wine—that, and to wear my leopard-print coat and black thrift-shop clutch. I glanced at the art, then scoured the room for the best-looking people in the room. I grew up, though, and now I’m a 30-year-old who, crazy as it sounds, [...]

Organic Food is Cheaper than a Bag of Chips

absolut_admin — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:06:17 +0000

Though we as a society talk a good game about how everyone should have access to healthy, organic foods, our actions don’t bear out our ambition. An organic apple is more expensive than a regular apple that has been grown with pesticides, and a bag of chips is often cheaper than either of them. The [...]

Blogs and Print Newspapers can Co-Exist Peacefully

absolut_admin — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:03:57 +0000

Extra, extra! It turns out that newspapers and blogs can exist side-by-side, without either one having to be declared the winner. I think having access to multiple mediums for news and opinions is a win-win situation…unless one medium keeps declaring the other medium dead or irrelevant. I can’t imagine living in a world where I [...]

You Don’t Have to Wait for the Dance Floor to Fill Up to Get On It

absolut_admin — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:59:41 +0000

My leg wants to be on the dance floor so bad it’s twitching. I can feel the backbeat in my heart, my head is swaying back and forth, and my palms are officially sweaty with anticipation. Damn it, people, get on the floor already. This song is calling my name, but I can’t be the [...]

Educators Have More Influence than the Paparazzi.

absolut_admin — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 14:55:53 +0000

In ten years, I hope to say this to my niece: “Just a short time ago, television news shows reported on the personal lives of celebrities—like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, have you ever heard of them?—more than they did on the state of education, healthcare, or the war that was fought in Iraq. It [...]