ABSOLUTsusu by Hor Sue Xian

OSM

2013-01-31T15:42:00.001+08:00

To my 26 faithful followers and infinity number of lurkers out there, HI.
I'd like to say that I have moved on to www.orangesusumilk.com

THE END.

2011-11-20T14:34:00.001+08:00

This is a scheduled post. By the time you read this, I would have finished my last paper, or more like, the Australian ang moh invigilator would have snatched my paper away. Simply put, I’ve finished college.

The apology.

I’d like to apologise for being such a shitty person I’ve been this year.

Transformation begins with recognition.

To my dreams, my passions and to myself: for losing my sense of self-awareness. For letting go of the things I love doing. For allowing really, really great opportunities to slip by.

To people at church: for acting completely oblivious to everything around. For being such an irresponsible person.

To my friends: for not being around when needed the most. For not trying hard enough to keep once great friendships. For judging so much.

To God: For allowing things to creep before Him.

I’m sorry.

A sorry can only mean so much. Here comes the hardest part.

Righting these wrongs.

I don’t know what I’ll do, when I’ll do it or how, but with a new perspective on my priorities, fingers and toes crossed that things will change.

The end.

With these being said, this chapter of my life comes to an end, and so does this blog. Three and a half years of blog posts, to put into perspective, that’s about 20% of my entire life put into words and photos. 621 published blog posts (including this one). A whopping 45,000 page views since mid-2009. Not trying to blow my own horn, but this is no mean feat achieved. Rewind 3 years back, to the 15 years old me, I was a noob and I would never have imagined how this tiny little space would grow into what it is today.

From the bottom of my heart, my heartiest appreciation goes out to the readers (THAT’S YOU!), the commenters, the links directed here, the anyone who has ever came up to me and said “I read your blog!” and the ones who were never game enough to admit they stalk me.

Fin.

Greater things have yet to come.

This blog is not dead, yet.

2011-10-10T22:03:00.002+08:00

Hi there.

Before you go on missing my blog any longer, I have a verifiable excuse to state. My desktop is dead.

The good news is, I managed to salvage my hard drive. Rest assured, 5 years of pictures are still intact. Thank God!

And going through the pictures reignited my photography mojo.

So cheers because there’s more to come.

September

2011-10-01T01:14:00.000+08:00

Hello world.

Excuse my one-month long absence.

Here goes a lengthy post of my accumulated thoughts in the month of September.

1. I can drive.

Although I have been horned at a milliongazillion times, went over a few curbs and probably had a few very close attempts at accidentally committing suicide by crashing, I’m still alive, and I sincerely thank God for that.

I’m at that stage where driving has yet to be mundane, boring or dreadful. This is probably due to the fact that I don’t get stuck in the many traffic jams KL is famous for. But I got pretty annoyed when my parents didn’t want to send me to college although I had exams, and so I had to drive. I could have slept longer.

Driving has its perks though – unlimited yam cha sessions, no more ‘no transport’ related excuses and frankly, it feels kinda cool to be able to control a car, and my life for that matter. The downside is, I can’t use ‘no transport’ as an excuse anymore, which forces me to think up of other silly excuses. And driving makes me feel old, independent and responsible, but mostly, old.

PS: I have jelly beans in my car.

2. My sister went to UK.

Okay, I admit I am not my sister’s BFF. We don’t have late night talks about boyfriends, manicure or life. Most of the time spent together were loaded with sarcasm, loud voices and stern tones, more precisely, arguments (mostly funny ones though). That’s just the way we communicate.

I was quite stoked at her departure. It meant full ownership of the white Myvi. No more high-heels and pink fluffy pillows, more mint flavoured Mentos, yay.

The first few days after were quite weird.

I glanced at her room’s door and remember feeling quite funny. It used to have noises coming out of her room, of her speaking at her top of her lungs or light would peer through the slit underneath her door. Okay, fine, I miss her a tad bit.

3. I turned 18.

Of all times to turn 18, it happens on a Saturday just before my exams. Bummer.

And that was the main reason why all my Facebook wall posts are left unreplied. I am sorry. I’ll get there, sooner or later. But I am really thankful for wishing me either through text or Facebook or a call or in real life. It meant a lot. It reassured me that I existed in your life. HAHAHA. Insecure of myself, much.

My high school friends came over to my neighbourhood for dinner on the eve of my birthday. I actually forgot it was my birthday the next day. Talk about too much of studying. I thought it was just an ordinary Friday night out with the gang and went off early to study. Who knew they tricked my dad into forcing me downstairs and into my garden where they hid with a cake. Me, in my pajamas and hole-d shirt (because I took the wrong one and was lazy to change), at midnight in my garden and being sung a birthday song to. Aww. And because I had successfully sabotaged most of the people there, they had to return the favour with a can of baked beans. I had my revenge though, they hid in my toilet for cover, note the use of the word MY TOILET. A key to unlock the door and I unleashed the leftover baked beans at them. =D

My college friends surprised me today. I sort of lost the birthday hype and when they sung the birthday song, I was like “Who’s birthday is it?” Embarrassing. Oh and I had to stand on a chair, do a booty shake and make a speech. Double thumbs up for planning and taking time out to celebrate my birthday although everyone had to ciao so early. At times like these, I feel loved.

Hugs and kisses to everyone.

Bye, I’m off to go clubbing.

not.

Merdeka Raya!

2011-09-02T17:34:00.004+08:00

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Selamat Merdeka Raya!

I’ve been ranting on how I’ve never been to a Ramadhan bazaar before. So Tessa (and her boyf) kindly fulfilled my wishes.

It’s like a pasar malam, except the stall owners are all Malays, it’s in the evening and the customers don’t get to eat or drink on the spot. Oh and these bazaars happen concurrently throughout Malaysia (or maybe just in Malay neighbourhoods) for about a month.

And we decided to take advantage of the concurrency by going to two separate bazaars on the same day, the one at SS18 and USJ4. (or maybe SS19, I forgot).

I’m not a really big fan of Malay food, apart from the usual nasi lemak, the occasional rojak and maybe mamak food. Hence, I am not eligible to make a food review. However, we bought onde-onde, nasi kerabu, ayam percik, assam laksa, murtabak, roti john, nasi ayam, and orange juice. Best of the lot would definitely be the ayam percik; Roasted chicken with some delicious sauce.

The orange juice was embarrassing. I marched right up to the shopkeeper, pointed at the orange juice and then I failed to utter ‘cup’ in the Malay language. In the spur of the moment, I shaped my fingers to the shape of a cup and tilted my hand into my mouth. It might have been way to retarded for the shopkeeper but I think he had no clue. I turned around and

asked Tessa what on earth cup is in Malay, only to turn back to the shopkeeper, having him laugh at me.

I think I should be forgiven for such a silly act. First-timer’s mistake okay!

I’m sorry for not being able to speak in fluent Malay, or even then so, say ‘cawan.’ I’m also sorry for not knowing better that the food and drinks are not packaged to be consumed on the go, hence them not having disposable cups. I’m also sorry for being rather disrespectful by drinking OJ in a bazaar.

But now I know.

Selamat Hari Merdeka to all Malaysians and Selamat Hari Raya to my Muslim friends (which is probably less than the number of fingers I have).

Handsomes and pretties

2011-08-29T00:36:00.001+08:00

Rude Awakening.

2011-08-28T14:22:00.002+08:00

*This post was written last Thursday.*

Hi there.

I am four-fifths on my way to completing my second Evaluation Exams. What is left is my Career and Enterprise paper on Friday. A few months and two more major examinations: Mock Exams and WACE Exams separate me from graduating with a Pre-University certificate. And at times like these, I stop to wonder and contemplate upon things.

I enrolled myself into a reputable private college because I wanted the exposure, something I wasn’t privileged or rather, overly privileged to experience throughout my entire schooling life. Things are different around here. I don’t skip classes as much and I don’t feel that powerful anymore. Simply put, I am slowly being absorbed into the education system.

Instead of previously being able to skip school days to do the things I truly enjoy, or maybe even being able to have a say

at how things works around here, I can’t. Instead, I follow what is set upon me, and as an effect, creation and creativity are at my lowest levels.

Heck, even in the sense of being who I am. Studying in such a big college, individuality and straying away from the standard deviation are big no-nos. What is expected of me is to study my butt off, pass up my assignments on time and score well in my exams. The major problem with this system is, scoring well only implies that you are a capable test-taker. You know the nooks and crannies of a test and are able to take advantage of that.

To the people who skip classes to do what they truly love, I salute you. To the people who doodle on their notebooks because they enjoy art, I salute you. To those that grab on every opportunity to perform, I salute you.

As for me, everything I once had passion for, has been slowly disappearing into thin air.

My lenses are chucked somewhere. My blog is almost dying. I don’t create crazy and adventurous to-do lists anymore. My orange wall is only filled with education-related materials: my academic calendar, my exams timetable and a list of chapters I need to study.

Horror.

And as I am two and a half months away from graduation, this also means that time is running out and I once again, have to choose my path in life. For those of you who don’t know, I used A-Levels and AUSMAT to stall time from having to figure out what the heck I want to do with my life.

I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I barely have any interests left because I saw every subject as something I had to score, and I excelled at every one of them just for the purpose of excelling, not truly learning. And, now I’m scared.

Cheerios

2011-08-19T21:11:00.001+08:00

Hi world without strangers.

One fine night, I was really hungry. I called out to my mom, “MA! I’m hungry! Is there anything to eat?” She shoved rojak down my throat. Half an hour later, I once again requested for more food. She didn’t have anything in store for me. I was so sad. My heart crushed into a million pieces. And that was when I invented cereals and milk in a cup.

We humans only think out of the box when we are desperate, don’t we? So yes, about the meal. Having breakfast for supper was pretty entertaining. In actual fact, it was past 12, so it could technically be considered breakfast, but you get the drift. And cereals and milk in a cup instead of a bowl? Pure bliss. It’s like, you don’t have to use a spoon, you just drink, crush the cereals and swallow at the same time.

That’s just another supper adventure in the life of yours truly.

Main reason of this post: My Economics paper was postponed to 9.30a.m. on a bright Saturday morning because of my Malaysian Studies paper. Enough said. I hope you are able to experience how agitated I am.

BYE, I have to study Econs, again.

AUSMAT Talentime

2011-08-17T16:53:00.002+08:00

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Hi occupants of interplanetary craft.

This is 4th August news.

AUSMAT Talentime.

Most of the performances were of people singing, but I wish to think ‘Ausmates’ have far more talents. The winner was a group doing a sketch portraying a war in outer space (I presume) with angels and devils against each other. Someone said it was a typical Malay sketch, then I

realised, I don’t know what a typical Malay sketch is. Forgive my lack of exposure and knowledge in the Malay culture, but I thought it was more of a typical Easter play, something you’d see in a church instead. Oh well, but props to them for their interesting make up. According to sources, I’m guessing they won 300 worth of moolah.

I like the fact that all our classes were shortened so make time for the event, but more importantly, I

did not make the same mistake of walking into a class 5 minutes before it ended just because all the classes were shortened and I am a forgetful kid. And more yays for being able to cheer for friends on stage.

The judges comprised of our very own in-house lecturers. It was such a pity we didn’t get to have a glimpse of why they were good enough to become our judges, when taunted by the emcees.

I guess that is all.

Time to sleep. Yawn.

Road to Talentime

2011-08-13T02:54:00.001+08:00

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Greetings, my loved ones. I had the honour of being a band manager (that wasn’t always there for the band) last week, and for that, I’d like to thank Rosh, Alvena, Charis and Jared. But heck, I got behind the scenes into what goes down for a 5 minutes performance. I stayed around for two days and got to see how much that needs to be done. They’ve practically practiced like everywhere: the store room at SSD, Audi 4, Power Studio, foyer, Alvena’s car and a random corridor. Maybe more than that, but from the viewpoint of an irresponsible manager, I’m wowed.

Time spent together was well worth it. This is the sorta thing I absolutely love. The sorta thing that I know I will, without a doubt cherish when college ends. I’ll probably even tell my kids about this someday. Also, I got some ultra VIP backstage pass to catch Natasha, Jason and Hui Zen practice for their performance too. I must have pulled off an extremely innocent face; looking trustworthy enough for them to let me in even though I’m sort of am already affiliated with their competitor. Up until that day, I never knew it was possible for people to just come

up with a new variation of a song, on the spot. They even allowed me to share my input on the quality of their performance, fuh, I must have been looking very producer-ish that day. On a side note, my second evaluation exams start next Friday and I’m quite sick of exams. But this upcoming one weighs a ton more than all the previous tasks I’ve done so, bleh, got to start my engines revved up, again. BTW, differentiation is haunting. Bye. Integration next.

Got a jetpack with my name on it.

2011-08-12T02:35:00.004+08:00

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Hi folks.

Updates.

I dyed my hair brown. You can’t really see it in the pictures of me, but then again, you can’t really see it in real life anyway. I’m just your average Chinese kid on the block with extremely black hair. I should bleach my hair someday.

Roy wanted to have a look at my college in pictures because he claims he doesn’t know how my classrooms look like. So here you

go. First few taken ones in Auditorium 4. Ones in the end are taken in a classroom.

Me and Hui Wen, we do it old school. Same amount of craziness, just a change in location. If you were wondering who got to the other end of the auditorium by running on the tables first, I won. =)

It was Jason’s 18th birthday. A Secret Recipe cake and an ambush while he was preoccupied. Feels like high school all over again.

I am currently suffering from extreme levels of busyness and freeness. One day I laze around like Bruno Mars, the next day, I’m up and running double time. I’ve completed almost all internal assignments for my course. 3 more exams and I’m done with living life in the extremely fast lane. Feels like I’ve just started college yesterday, but here I am.

Hugs and kisses,

Sue.

Natasha Yap - If I Die Young

2011-08-06T22:44:00.000+08:00

Hi there.

This is Natasha Yap.

Please give your ears a good time by listening to her cover of the Band Perry’s If I Die Young.

If you love her voice, or her guitar playing skills, or if you love me instead, show some support by spreading this video to your grandmother, your pet goldfish and your annoying brother named Tommy (from Rugrats). Perhaps you can post, share or tweet the awesomeness you’ve just seen. Here’s the link http://youtu.be/J-JifJb0RX0. We are eternally grateful.

Hang on fellas, this is just the beginning of more to come. We have big dreams, so continue sitting on the edge of your chair.

Last Thursday night.

2011-08-05T10:56:00.003+08:00

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The last few days of my holidays were spent considerably entertaining.

Roy and Nikole came over to my side of the town to have Korean barbeque at Kuchai Entrepreneur’s Park. It was pretty pricey, but at least our stomachs were bloated and we got to eat food in which we had no idea what it was. A few hours of Adobe After Effects for his college event and we called it a Thursday night out.

Saturday was an eventful day. I stopped by my high school for a wedding reception of a teacher, got to meet and mingle with tons of friends, catch up on the latest happenings in school and just chill by the nicely decorated canteen. Then it was off to Roy’s church’s soft opening service – City Harvest Church KL. The place looks spanking dope. The mega ultra huge LCD screen blew me away.

Dinner at Solaris Dutamas with the bunch of good ol’ friends – Roy, Nikole, Pauline and Abel. That place is freaky though, they had a weird performance on stage and Roy called it an evil prayer meeting.

Remember to click on Previous and Next for more pictures!

fourteen days.

2011-07-30T03:05:00.003+08:00

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Two weeks of holidays has flown past. Incredibly slow.

I failed my driving test and am still an L driving license holder. I wasn’t too bothered about my failure. But as days went by, I began to notice how things could have been different if I had passed the test. I envisioned myself out and around town. I knew my parents wouldn’t let me drive on my own so soon, but a little imagination helps.

So that coupled with the fact that my course mates are the only ones on holiday and most of them happen to live in Subang, I was pretty lonely.

I mean, who is there to blame but me.
And the government for substandard public transportation.

On the brighter side of things, here’s a rough lowdown on how I spent my past couple of weeks.

I watched 25 episodes of Gossip Girl, played about 10 hours worth of Team Fortress 2, finally got my eyes on the latest Transformers flick, attended my high school’s speech day and cheered for cheerleaders at Cheer ’11.

I’d like to say a big thank you to the people whom hung out with the very desperate to not live in boredom me.

Natasha for allowing me to crash your house. Abel, Gabe, Pau and Chin for the movie, chilli pan mee and Tutti Frutti. Jhi Yong for some mamak time. Tessa and her boyfriend Bran for introducing me to their part of the world - the neighbourhood, family and friends. Hui Wen and her boyfriend Victor for the picnic at KLCC. Yee Hern for roadside hawker food. Roy and Nikole for the kimchi and bibimbap dinner. And my family for allowing me to brainwash their minds and bodies to Sepang beach, playing Frisbee and having a delightful seafood dinner. (Fried ice cream included)

I feel like I could have spent the time at home in a much, much, much more productive manner. Gossip Girl was one heck of an entertainment with endless drama but it’s filled with too much 18SX love scenes after all.

Come to think of it, this will be my longest semester break. In 3 months, I will be sitting for my WACE examinations. Checking out the examinations timetable really feels like SPM all over again. But thank God for having to only sit for 5 subjects and they don’t include Moral, Sejarah or worst, Bahasa Melayu.

Sorry for the hiatus. I might be writing a lot more, or might not. Come back to find out.

PS: I did a slight renovation with my blog, if you may not have noticed already. Please click Previous and Next to view all the photos! =D

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.

2011-07-28T03:07:00.000+08:00

For those who don't know, I'm currently on holiday. This one was certainly nowhere near as epic as the previous one, but I'm thankful for the time I have to finally sit down, just not having to think or do anything.

Then it hit me.

A year ago, I thought I could do this.

This meaning, staying close to the people I've grown to love in high school.

The boy that lives a few rows away, the one whom I've spent countless nights on the PS3 with and touring pasar malams, is now in Melaka to further his studies.

Yesterday was the first time seeing a close friend of mine in months, we were so close that we could pull off the couple look and teachers would fall for that.

Another neighbourhood friend of mine will be shifting to another suburb by the end of this month.

I've yet to have a meal with another dear friend of mine for months, considering the fact that we've eaten most of our breaks and lunches together for years.

These are just a few stories of what has happened. What's to come is another mystery altogether.

I used to be able to watch the change that happens to these people. Now, I'd have to hear the change in third person view or resort to stalk their lives on Facebook.

As ignorant as I might seem on the outside, I do miss them. And saying those three words matter a lot to me, I'm not one who admits feelings publicly.

Nobody said being eighteen was easy. You'd have to watch your friends slip away one by one. And I cannot imagine what will happen in the next few years.

This is reason #857 on why I'd hate to grow up.

NOTICE. This is Nikole!

2011-06-26T11:28:00.004+08:00

EDIT: video has been reposted and is now working!

We are very sorry.

Nikole Ye

2011-06-25T00:48:00.002+08:00

Hi there, I highly doubt you're ever going to read this anytime soon, but I'm an optimistic person, so hi Nikole!

I've got a million reasons to thank you.

Thank you for being my first friend in primary school.
Thank you for inspiring me to study.
Thank you for telling me answers in tests (we didn't know it was considered cheating back then).

Thank you for introducing me to Neopets.
Thank you for sparking that interest in me to explore computers and technology.
Thank you for causing me to wear spectacles.

Thank you for leaving.

Thank you for coming back.

Thank you for always succumbing to peer pressure to hang out.
Thank you for always listening to my rants.
Thank you for always being there.

Thank you for being you.

You might not notice this, but you've shaped who I am today.

Last minute hangout at KLCC park. Thanks for taking pictures with us, because we know it is almost impossible to catch you in a picture without your hands covering your face.

Thanks dear.

Have a great 18th year of your life on earth.

Fear

2011-06-20T22:54:00.004+08:00

When we were children we'd play
Out in the streets just dipped in fate
When we were children we'd say
That we don't the meaning of
Fear, fear, fear,
Fear, fear, fear
We dont know the meaning of...

I have a theory: the older we get, the more fears we have.

As a baby, I knew nuts, for real. I'd pee, poop and wiggle body parts deemed 'private'. As I went through this thing called life and gained a few years, I became a child. I dreamt of being an artist and travel around the world (stars, moon and Mars included). I climbed 2 storey high ladders and collected several stitches. Several pimples and hormones later, I don't play with fire, because I know it burns. I don't sit in taxis alone, because the taxi driver might be a serial killer.

Here's a story of 7 teenagers that didn't know the meaning of fear.

It was just like every other holiday. No school. No college.

All the 7 of us had were time, a little money, a Myvi and a Beetle.

Little did we know, those resources brought us 50km away to Sepang Goldcoast. We didn't know the way there, all we had were two GPS devices and lots of faith in them. It was the second day since Pauline got her driving license, it hasn't even been a week! Roy sprained his ankle an hour before that and still drove. We weren't dressed for the occasion and neither did we have towels or sun block.

In short, we were severely unprepared.

But the thing is, we did it anyway. And it was adventurous. Definitely a day to remember for life.

And I got my arse whopped when I got home. According to parents aged 50 and over, it is totally unacceptable for young kids with P licenses to drive a few hours to an unknown destination without a map and without parental permission and guidance. I answered them, "If I had told you, I couldn't have went."

Fear less, not fearless.

Dream Team

2011-06-15T22:40:00.046+08:00

As of recently, ultimate frisbee has turned into a very in thing. No, ultimate frisbee is not a noun describing a frisbee with ultimate superpowers, it's a sport for your momma so fat jokes' sake. But for the few of us, it is more than a sport, it is a reason to gather and be with each other, and at the same time, distract us from indulging ourselves in other more costly or unhealthy activities, such as eating, because frankly, we can't help not eating. Plus, ultimate frisbee sounds like a really good excuse to our parents for coming home late at outrageous hours, because apparently, it's better to play sports at night because the sun isn't out and we'll protect our precious skins from harsh ultraviolet rays. (It always works).

Remember our names, people. Because one day, we're going to make it big. Be it next year or 50 years down the road with walking sticks and wheelchairs, we'll be up there, somewhere.

However, as of right now, we don't have an ultra cool name to associate ourselves with, neither do we have an official training time or even a coach. But one thing should stick in your mind, BIG. US. YES. WE. CAN.

Kay Elle.

2011-06-12T18:22:00.078+08:00

I don't hang out at KL much, and by that I meant KL city centre. But when I do, it gets pretty fun.

For one, I like to window shop at Uniqlo. The clothes there are just different from what is available elsewhere. Such a pity the stuff there aren't cheap and hence, I do not own a single piece of clothing from that Japanese brand. Oh did I mention how fun it is to go up and down those extremely narrow escalators and have a good ol' game of who is stronger by seeing who can lift themselves longer.

Then, I like to walk around aimlessly. It's not like I would really want to walk around with no direction in mind, but I just don't seem to know the area well enough to know where I am heading. This reminds me of an instance in the past when I had to call Ainsley for directions from KLCC to Pavilion, which was embarrassing, because I called her like, 5 times? Anyway, there's lots to see at KL, and even more opportunities to behave like tourists, posing with anything and everything peculiar.

Sunway Lagoon mascot smacked right in the middle of KL? Very misleading.

Moreover, there's Pavilion. I absolutely love that place because there's Tangs and Crumpler. The Tangs there is way better than the one over at Empire Gallery, they stock Fred Perry and Nixon! Food there is kind of a rip off, though. Overpriced, substandard meals.

Last but not least, I like to people watch. The people there come in all shapes and sizes: the roadside dancers, the punk rock looking goths with a guitar, watch peddlers and lots of ang mohs. The best part, they don't seem to notice your presence, so you can just stop and stare however long you want.

Likewise, the hangout with Hui Wen during the 4 days of semester break was nice. As she kept on reminding, this is the first time that we're hanging out, just the two of us. Well, she is after all the only high school friend whom studies same course as me in college.

Cheers to happy ever after. =)

Marchin' On

2011-06-08T16:56:00.120+08:00

Exam results are out.

I'd say my results were very unexpected. I flunked the subjects I thought I would do well in, where else, I excelled in the ones I thought I did terribly *cough* English *cough*.

I don't know about you but as for me, the recent evaluation exams really showed the type of person we truly are. It revealed our true colours.

Not just in terms of academic standings, but also our values and our inner strengths.

The lecturers did set the bar high this time round. A perfect score was almost impossible to achieve, causing the high achievers to be further segregated into the good, the great and the extraordinary categories. This is also true the other way round, you would be able to notice the differences between the ones who fail, and the ones who just fail terribly. It's a sad world out there. Oh and it is evident on how the JPA scholars manage to crush the January and March intakes, and they did so with no mercy.

The one thing that I abhor the most about exam results and academic rankings is how we are labelled according to the numbers we get, the higher the better (obviously). A few digits can only mean so much, but it shouldn't determine a failure from a success (the life, I mean). With all truthfulness, from the bottom of my heart, I'd let go a couple of marks for the things I deem more valuable than studies. Yes, you read that right. As kiasu-looking as I might seem like, studies are not my everything. I work hard, but I play hard too. However, it is a matter of what you prioritise in life. As for me, I don't want to grow old regretting the things I did not do when I was young, just because I had to study.

Next up, values. During the few days leading up to the exams, it is only natural that all of us go through a studying frenzy. But when you decide to not teach others for fear of wasting precious time, that just tells so much about the kind of person some people really are.

Lastly, every action creates a reaction. Results would bring happiness or disappointment. I'd like to emphasise on the latter. It is normal to feel the letdown. I'll tell you what's not okay. It is totally unacceptable for you to linger in that moment of sadness for more than a day. Brush it off. It ain't about how much you failed, but it's about how you failed and manage to keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.

There's so many wars we fought, there's so many things we're not, but with what we have, I promise you that, we're marchin' on! For all of the plans we've made, there isn't a flag I'd wave, don't care where we've been, I'd sink us to swim, we're marchin' on!
-OneRepublic

Holidays

2011-06-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

Actually, I did not really count the 4 days of so called semester break as a holiday. Geez, do you know how sad 4 days of holidays are? They're as short as your pinky finger.

Nevertheless, had the time of my life with the people that matter. Thanks.

ILOVEMYLIFE.

Normalcy.

2011-06-02T16:08:00.000+08:00

We're halfway through 2011. For some of them out there, we're 6 months away from the end of the world, Year 2012.

The sad thing is, I do not remember doing anything significant this year. All I've remembered of myself is I was constantly waiting for the next thing to happen - the next test, the next weekend, the next assignment deadline, the next month. I forget to get 'stuck' in the moment, just like what Justin Bieber sings about.

I am contented with my life, I sincerely am. I love my family, I love my friends, I love the things I have and I love the things I don't have. But I just want more. I don't want to breeze through my life just like how I did the past 6 months. I don't want to grow old and remember myself merely living through my teenage years. Switchfoot has got it right with the lyrics "I want more than fine, more than just okay."

"This is your life, are you who you want to be?
Is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger, and you had everything to lose?"

4 days before a new semester awaits. Time to go out there and live life.

Words Meet Heartbeats.

2011-05-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

Hello, good morning, how you do? What makes the rising sun so new?

Examinations. Big word right there. They're evil and they will suck every ounce of brain juice in that tiny little skull of yours and no matter how much I feel like crying my eyeballs out, I can't. My eyeballs are too big for my eye sockets. Such a pity. These torturing tests did put some sense into me, though. As much as I like living in my own little world overpopulated with self-denial, I simply can't. Like for one, I am reminded of how bad I fare in language subjects. I mean, I've been speaking in English for the majority of my life, but I am dumbfounded when I reflect on how badly I performed. I can't complain much, I've never read a novel from cover to cover but hey, that doesn't automatically degrade me to a level of total dumbness. Sometimes, I wonder why at one point of time, I actually considered journalism as a career. Maybe I was immature then, and thought that writing for a living was cool. On the other hand, I totally contradicted myself as I was doing my Career and Enterprise paper. I wrote multiple benefits of having clear career goals and subconsciously claimed that I had clear career goals, which in reality, I don't. I like the subject though, it allows me to explore things about myself in which I never had the guts to confront. Accounting and Finance was supposed to be impeccable, flawless. Sadly, the outcomes weren't close to what I envisaged. Tough luck. Maths? The only one that managed to not make me feel like a total loser. And for that, I should give myself a pat on the shoulder.

Fingers crossed on next Monday's Economics. Time to kiss my pillow and dream about unicorns. (Haven't I said I live in my own little world?)

Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. (and to make myself feel a little bit better about my writing)

This is Home.

2011-05-22T22:32:00.001+08:00

Home, this is home

Now I'm finally where I belong, belong

Yes this is home,

I've been searching for a place of my own

Now I found it,

Maybe this is home

This is home

Exams in 2 days. What else is there to say than GET READY, IT'S A NEW WEEK.