What’s your favourite thing to cook?

When I was younger, I’d watch my Mum cook, well, maybe not watch her cook an entire meal, but observe the way she did things. The usual simple things like boil vegetables or things in the oven like roasting a chicken or even potatoes, I’d pay attention to the preparation and cooking times.

She never really cooked anything from scratch, whether it was down to not having the time or simply not knowing how, but she mostly cooked things that were pre-prepared or frozen. So when I moved out and had to cook my own food, I kept things fairly simple and for some time, I lived out of a deep fat fryer.

I would cook almost everything in it, chips, sausages, burgers, battered fish and whatever I could just to save time. I’d be able to cook sausage, egg and chips in about 5 minutes, although I would cook the egg in a frying pan, which meant more oil and fat.

I’d get through loads of kitchen roll cooking this way because even though it was the worst way to cook, I’d try to drain and absorb as much excess fat from the food. Occasionally though, I would go and buy ingredients for one of my favourite foods that isn’t pizza or burgers.

LasaGNe.

I don’t know whether it was just because I’m a big Garfield fan, but I’ve always like lasagne, so one day I decided to make one of my own instead of a frozen, microwaveable or bake in the oven one. It’s so simple too, simply just minced meat (beef or pork, chicken if you’re feeling adventurous), pasta sheets, a tomato based sauce such as Ragu or Dolmio and cheese.

I would even make the white sauce myself since that’s also easy as it’s literally just flour, milk and butter. Depending on the price, only the cheese that you put on top would change. Generally cheddar, but I’d sometimes go with Red Leicester if I fancied a different coloured topping, it’s just like cheddar, but orange.

So there you go, my favourite food to cook as in actually cook and not just throw in a pan or baking tray is lasagne!

Where is the best place to watch the sunset near you?

There are many parks within a couple of miles radius where you could go and sit to experience a satisfying sunset. If you’re the romantic type though, you would look totally out of place, because the people aren’t particularly fond of showing public affection to their partner.

In a bid not to sound ignorant, I won’t make assumptions, I’ll just say that the majority of people where I am at the moment are Pakistani, Syrian and Muslim, I don’t know their culture very well to say anything about their relationships and whatnot.

Anyway, the local park has a nice open area you can sit in which would give you a great view of a sunrise and sunset, but being Birmingham (United Kingdom), you make the best of it despite the Sun disappearing behind rows of houses.

I’m not too sure of the perfect spot to go to, there are too many buildings to avoid, so like I say, parks are probably the best places, because there isn’t a beach with an ocean to relax in a deck chair or sun lounger on.

Another reason I say parks is because of the amount of smoke and light pollution. You can’t fully escape it due to the amount of cars on the road and local factories, then of course you have car and street lights which could make the sky seem a little hazy, but not the good, natural kind of hazy.

The image I’ve used as the featured header and in this post is from a photograph I took just a couple of weeks ago, because I just happened to look out of the window and it was the perfect contrast of darkness against the sky.

What would you title the chapters of your autobiography?

Having chapters is for books that tell stories of fantasy and fiction, an autobiography is, “a self-written biography of one’s own life”, so I guess I could maybe just use one chapter title, “My Life”.

I think it depends on how you would write about your life, I mean, you obviously start from your earliest memory or maybe even a point you were told about by your parents. In that case, possibly use stages of life as chapters; Toddler, Childhood, Teenage Years and so on, but think about how big those chapters could be.

Would you use sub-chapters? For example; in Teenage Years you could break it up into smaller chapters like – First Kiss, First Girlfriend or Boyfriend, First… well, the list could be pretty expansive, but not necessarily be 50 pages each since you wouldn’t go into excruciating detail, would you?

I think the key to a successful autobiography is that you have complete control over the choice of what to include, meaning you might want to go into a bit more detail about certain things, but only choose what people want to read about.

Oversharing is a definite no-no. Nobody except weird, creepily obsessive people want to know every aspect of your life, wants to know about the first time you had personal self-sexual pleasures or what you’ve shoved inside of your body, sexual or otherwise.

Since I’m just your average guy with an average life, I don’t have anything particularly interesting to write about, I also don’t actually remember a lot of stuff I’ve done. There are some interesting memories, just not enough to write down and share with the world.

What is something you learned recently?

Over the course of this month posting on this blog, the main thing I’ve learned is how to use the basic functions of the WordPress blocks. I’m still not a big fan of it due to some restrictions and/or functions, but for the sake of plopping up a few hundred words each day, it’s kind of OK.

I tried to put a Pullquote next to some text in the Procrastination post and although I kind of got it to work, it wouldn’t display properly, I’ll show an example…

Now…

So despite WordPress forcing the Gutenberg block editor on you, you still don’t really have as much design freedom as you would think.

I may be doing something wrong and can’t seem to work it out yet, but I don’t yet have the ability to make posts pop and look as stylish as you can apparently design them.

Although I’ve learned a bit, I feel I don’t have full functionality due to WordPress.com really pushing you to buy their premium service, so if you want complete control over everything, I would recommend getting your own hosting and install it on there.

Depending on what you want to do, it could cost around £40 to £50 per year including a domain name, because if you want unlimited everything; web space, bandwidth, email accounts and SQL databases, I’d recommend NeatlyWeb who I’ve been with for about 5 years and can do all that for less than £40pa.

Describe your perfect birthday cake.

I already have too much stored fat that I’m trying to lose by pushing myself to be more active, but I could be around three times bigger if I’d carried on eating as much cake as I did when I was a teen. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before somewhere and possibly on this blog, but I could eat anything and everything, yet not put on any weight.

Throughout my teen years and into early adulthood, I was stuck at 10.5st (66.67Kg) and no matter how much I ate, I never gained weight, most likely due to me being so active. I would eat whole Swiss Rolls, chocolate bars, crisps (chips to US folk) and drink fizzy soda, but not gain an ounce.

I started eating more healthy many years ago, starting by ditching the deep fat fryer and replacing it with grilling either in the cooker or a George Foreman grill, same with the cakes I did eat. I’d prefer to go with low fat alternatives and because of that, they would cost more for some reason.

That’s another story, but that’s the kind of cake I would go for as my perfect Birthday cake, something low fat, but light and creamy. Sort of like a fluffy Victoria sponge with cream and a fruity jam in the middle consisting of Apple, Blackberry, Strawberry and Lemon.

Nothing spectacular, I like to keep things simple and I’d just have it coated in a light cream, not icing with small pieces of fruit decorating it. I’ve never had a Birthday cake, never really wanted one, but I guess that’s the one that I’d like if I did have one.

What are the pros and cons of procrastination?

I’ll admit to being a big procrastinator, if I know something doesn’t need to be done and I have some time (which is better for me, so I don’t get anxiety overload), I’ll get it done. If I’m badgered to do something that I’ve said I’ll do, I’m more reluctant to get it done sooner.

A pro of procrastination is that as long as you know a task has to be done and you can do it at your own pace, you feel more relaxed and accomplished when you do complete it.

The cons however are that, as the quote from Wikipedia says, delaying doing something can be bad and depending on the situation, very bad.

A simple explanation is this; if you’re asked to move your car because a fire engine will need to have better access or your car will be forcibly moved (whether towed or pushed out of the way) and possibly damaged, but you say you’ll do it ‘in a bit’, then you don’t do it and your car suffers damage, that’s a negative consequence.

It can be hard for those who don’t and can’t deal very well with pressure and that’s the major con of procrastination. Putting off things that need to be done is not the best way to be and like I said, I am one of those people who leave things too late.

If it’s not that important or a personal thing, don’t worry, but at least make an effort to do the things you want and need to do, it’s something I’m working on improving, despite the anxiety butterflies it gives me!

What language do you wish you could speak?

I’ve always been a big fan of Japanese culture, from martial arts to the food and general way of life, so the main language I wish I could speak is Japanese. That said, I’m also a fan of Korean culture, South Korea of course and I find their language and text style fascinating.

I started to learn Japanese using Duolingo a few years ago and I got quite far. From being able to count, to getting close to being able to order food, but since whatever type of ADHD I have, I can’t seem to see things through to completion.

It’s a problem I’ve had throughout my life when it comes to starting something, whether it’s collecting magazines or completing some kind of course, I seem to either lose interest or something else takes over. I should really start it up again, not that I plan on going to Japan and will most likely never go, but just to be able to speak some of the language.

The main language I learned in school was French, but I wasn’t very good at actually speaking it, the only reason I was in the top class was due to the written work. The way the teachers taught us was wrong really, it was mostly copying off the blackboard and very little oral demonstrations.

So while I knew certain words, I didn’t really know how to put them in a sentence or to an extent, understand much if someone spoke to me. That’s where apps and services that show and speak the words, while getting you to repeat them is much better, so maybe I’ll try learning Japanese again soon.

What is a song or poem that speaks to you and why?

I think it can also depend on your mood. Finger Eleven – Paralyzer is a song I can blast out and sing along with to make me feel good, but I’m not one that pays too much attention to lyrics. If I like the song, I like it, whether it’s because of something subconciously, I don’t know.

I’m a big fan of Adele and have her albums, but not because I relate to any of her songs, mostly that they’re something to relax to. On contrast, I also like System of a Down who fit into many genres including heavy metal, heavy rock, progressive rock and alternative metal.

I don’t think it’s the lyrics that draw me in, but the music itself. Like I said, I don’t really pay much attention to lyrics or look for any deep meaning in them, even with Eminem I see it as just rap. Sure there’s some context to his lyrics, but I don’t think about that and just take it as it is, every rap track from any artist has meaning.

I grew up with classic rap from Ice T, NWA, Public Enemy and KRS One who’s songs were about what happens in their life and around them or sending a message to the authorities in their own style. Then there’s classic rock from bands like Guns N Roses, Whitesnake, Poison and Van Halen who had songs I still listen to today.

I can’t choose just one song, because one doesn’t speak to me, it would have to be a compilation of many songs across different genres.

How do you show love?

Being with them. Looking them in the eyes and listening when you chat. Touching them say, on their hand, arm or leg. A little touch or even squeeze as you walk past each other. A little unexpected kiss, on their shoulder, neck, cheek or full-on smooch.

Those are priceless ways on how to show love, little gestures of affection can brighten up someone’s day by releasing the chemicals in the brain to help relax them, otherwise known as that sweet, sweet dopamine. Even if you’re not partners, are close friends or maybe just have an attraction, it can feel good by being with them.

Small gifts now and then is a good way to show love, but again, consider the situation. You may find yourself having to apologise for something and a gift may not be appropriate. It’s not an exact science, especially for men trying to understand women when we have to figure out what we did wrong.

Going out on date nights even when you’re together is a great way to have a good time away from everything, it doesn’t just have to be a fancy restaurant, doing things you both enjoy makes things a lot better. Doing different things makes things more exciting, forget movie and a pizza (although a classic), find something you haven’t tried or done before.

Keeping in touch whether text, Twitter or a messenger app asking what’s up, you miss them, you’re thinking of them. I didn’t really get to do much of that when I was ‘dating’ since it wasn’t around then (yeah yeah, I’m a dinosaur ).

Lying to yourself isn’t worth it, you need to be true or your life will be a lie. You also have to be careful of others, especially narcissists who will tell you you’re lying to yourself to make you believe it.

What’s a lie you tell yourself?

Some may say to audit your life to see if you are lying to yourself about anything. It doesn’t matter what it is, but it might help you realise things that you have the power to change. Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to go all life coach here, I realised I was lying to myself once my marriage started breaking down in 2021.

Some things in life can be a hard pill to swallow and that’s when you create a lie to tell yourself things will get better, back to normal and work out. You try to look in from the outside and see what’s wrong, then when you know, you think of ways you can fix it.

Despite knowing the inevitable conclusion, I kept telling myself it will get better and things will go back to normal and I knew it was just a lie I was telling myself to keep me holding on to some kind of hope, which is what makes things much harder when you reach that conclusion.

As humans we find different ways to cope with whatever is thrown at us, finding a lie to tell yourself is one of the mechanisms used to handle certain situations, even if it works only for a short while. Talking to people can help by allowing you to realise what you’re telling yourself, but then it’s up to you to action on those words.

It’s harsh to face the truth, but it’s generally the best way of dealing with things. I may put on a face to make it appear like I’m ok and handling life, but inside is where all the anxiety swirls around in a pit I escape from by being around people and faces and I can breathe again.