When I introduced myself to the Guild Wars community, I did not discuss my personal life or my personal worldviews at all. However, after some Google searching, some people decided to take it upon themselves to bring up issues related to my personal life and ideological beliefs. Hearsay being what it is, a few even accused me of starting these discussions about my personal life in the first place.

It made me angry that people, who know nothing about be apart from what they found through Google, targeted me with sexist, misogynistic, anti-feminist, racist, and homophobic comments.

It made me angry that people made sexist and objectifying comments about my appearance. Apparently I am supposed to welcome comments from people (I assume they are males) saying that they’d “hit it” or “tap that” because they found me attractive. Comments that reduce me to an object without agency or will are compliments, right?

It also made me angry that people made racist comments. Oh wait, fetishising me because of my race is supposed to be a positive thing as well? Get a clue, people — it’s not acceptable. It’s racist and ignorant.

It made me angry that people who don’t have any clue about feminism believe that feminists are a threat to their “fun”. Following that line of logic, apparently sexism is fun? Eh, not so much. I find it depressing that the most basic tenet of feminism — equality between the sexes — should be viewed as a threat to the existing (un)acceptable behaviours in gaming communities.

While I am on the subject of feminism — I am a feminist. So what? There are games industry women, more famous, more high-profile, and with more widespread influence, than I who identify as feminist. Feminists are out there.

It’s irritating to read comments from people who mindlessly swallow all the stereotypes they’ve heard about feminism. Moreover, the idea that all feminists are ideologically identical is both stupid and ignorant. The main belief that all feminists hold is simply equality between the sexes. That’s it. Anything beyond that depends upon the individual.

It made me angry that at least one person did not welcome the fact that I am female. It’s a surprising attitude to find in 2008, but it exists. What was almost as surprising as this attitude is the fact that before and after I joined the game, the ratio of female and male Community Managers was identical. Why one would oppose maintaining the same female/male ratio is beyond me; god forbid the ratio ever be equalised at some point in the future.

It made me angry to have people speculate on and make assumptions about my sexual orientation, too. It was not acceptable for people to make the assumption that I am a lesbian, assume that I am out to everyone in my life (including work), and parade these assumptions around as fact — publicly to the internet. News flash: being a feminist does not mean that one is a lesbian and conducting an interview with a founder of LesbianGamers.com doesn’t necessarily mean that one is a lesbian either. One a sidenote, it irritates me that people continue to cling so desperately to their narrow, black and white views of sexuality and sexual orientation, assuming that if someone isn’t heterosexual, they must surely be homosexual because nuances in the human condition apparently do not exist.

Furthermore, the homophobia that some people showed, after they assumed that I was a lesbian, was absolutely repulsive and apalling. There was even a comment from a homophobic “concerned parent” who was convinced that I was personally responsible for corrupting their child because some random members of the Guild Wars community decided to speculate on and discuss my sexual orientation.

Another thing that these people didn’t think about or probably even care about is: what if I was a lesbian and wasn’t out to everyone at work and at home? Did they even care that their comments and discussions could have an impact on my career and personal life? Not everyone in the world is equally tolerant, as evidenced by the “concerned parent” above, and unfortunately gay people often have to choose the terms under which they come out. To rob someone of that choice, regardless of the correctness of the facts, is wrong and thoughtless.

To make things perfectly clear: I am not a lesbian, but I am not not a lesbian. My sexual orientation, whatever it is, isn’t something that I’d even consider discussing with the Guild Wars community at large, much less any other random gaming community.

I did know that people would do Google searches on me. I knew they would find articles I’d written, interviews I’d participted in, and so on. My blog is public, and it’s not hard to link my handle to my real name. However, just because I expected some of these responses doesn’t mean that sexism, homophobia, racism, or all the rest of that shit are remotely acceptable.

Some gamers really need to grow up.

P.S. — Before someone tells me that I’m being too sensitive or that I’m too uptight and just need to get laid… Newsflash: I am sexed quite regularly, and yet sexism, racism, homophobia, and all the other bigoted and ignorant attitudes that fester in gaming culture still piss me off.

If I’m reaching for compelling arguments that dropping $500 for a games console is a good idea, it’s because there are a bunch of PS3-exclusive games on the horizon that I’d like to play, including MGS4. For example, though I don’t really play the Final Fantasy games, FFXIII is looking pretty intriguing. The next game set in the world of ICO and Shadow of the Colossus is going to be a PS3 exclusive. I also want to play Bladestorm: The Hundred Years War, which is a completely historically inaccurate (Mages? During the Hundred Years War? Really?) hack-n-slash game that didn’t get super good reviews (now that I take a look). However, I played it at a friend’s house and it was a lot of mindless fun. Oh and there’s Tekken 6 (and Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection). I love me those Tekken games, even though I’m not super good at them. It’s not PS3 exclusive, but I’m also dying to have Rock Band.

The 80 GB PS3s have been phased out of retail. The only PS3s currently available in stores are the 40 GB versions without PS2 backwards compatibility. The 80 GB PS3s feature backwards compatibility through software emulation, which is not ideal, however limited backwards compatibility is better than none at all. There are rumours that the 80 GB PS3 will be phased out completely, to be replaced with a 120 GB or even a 160 GB version at the same price point. There is no word on whether this verson will be backwards compatible, but it’s a safe bet since the 40 GB model lacks that feature. Perhaps it’s better to wait for the one with the larger hard disk, but is it worth the wait when I could be playing MGS4 at launch?

Even if I don’t get a PS3 in June (Those things are expensive; maybe I’ll just get a Wii), I will still have a copy of MGS4 Limited Edition. With the special artbook. I also got my Metal Gear Saga Vol. 2 DVD pre-order bonus the other day. It’s currently comfortably nestled amongst boxes of CalorieMate and some Japanese promotional material for Metal Gear Solid games. All of these items are temporarily housed on the mantle above my fireplace. It’s kind of a Metal Gear Solid shrine because — why not? Besides, my flat is still cluttered with boxes and I haven’t yet had time to decorate it properly. So in the event that I don’t buy a PS3, I’ll at least be able to read the artbook and look at the DVD. Sigh.

Oh, by the way, Naked Snake (from MGS3: Snake Eater) was right: CalorieMate really is damn good.

I’ve been curious about Ubuntu for a while, but never got around to trying it out until now. Ubuntu is incredibly easy to install and from my brief experience it’s also easy to use. It’s kind of cool that I can run the entire operating system from a CD-ROM. If so many games didn’t run on Windows, I’d probably want to use Ubuntu. Gaming on a Linux OS seems like it’s beyond my capabilities. I’m probably more proficient at computers than the average user, but probably not enough to mess around trying to get games to work with a Linux distribution. If I get another laptop that I don’t intend to use for games, I’d probably put Ubuntu on it though.