Getting Down to Business: How to prepare for (and deal with) acting in a love scene

It’s a slightly awkward topic to discuss, but it’s also an important one since raunchy scenes which can make even the most professional of actors feel a little out of their comfort zone.

And hey, we are all professionals. As such, let’s leave the nervous giggles at the door and get this issue tackled!

The Golden Rule

Outside of the adult genre, sex scenes do not involve actors having sex. To most, this seems like a very obvious point but it bears repeating given the surprising number of people who don’t realize this. In reality, the number of non-adult films that actually featured real sex is so low we can safely ignore them for the purposes of this article.

All you need to know is that you should never be coerced into having sex on set, or indeed anything you’re uncomfortable with, while on set. Avoid any director who pretends this is industry standard like the plague.

And this brings us onto…

Managing Expectations

You should aim to know exactly what you’ll be getting into before you agree to the anything, and if you’ve got an agent he or she will be able to sort this out on your behalf.

There are a number of questions you will want to ask beyond exactly how much nudity is involved, including but by no means limited to:

- Will there be a closed set during filming of love scenes?

- Will body doubles be used at any point, either for yourself or for your lead counterpart?

- If so, can you choose who’ll be standing in for you?

- How long in duration will the scene(s) be?

- Can the director provide a shot list?

And any other questions you feel you need to ask before comfortably accepting the role. However, the last point in that list is worthy of expansion.

The Shot List (and Choreography)

Ideally, everything should be pre-planned right down to the frame-by-frame shot. You might be thinking this is to make sure actors can know what to expect on the day – and it mostly is – but you also don’t want to trust that any compromising shots are left on the cutting room floor…

… to be perfectly frank here and with no other way to put it, you don’t want to see footage of your junk end up in some unauthorized release. It’ll be pretty hard to retract once it’s out in the public forum.

Regardless, it’s good to know precisely where the camera is going to be at all times. Your mind will be focused on so many things during the shoot that it makes a lot of sense to at least know everything you can about the camera technicalities.

With everything in agreement between all parties, it’s time to prepare for the scene itself. First and foremost, recognize that:

It’s Not Unprofessional to be Nervous

Nearly all actors experience a bout of heavy nerves before a love scene (which usually begins the second they learn there is one in the script!) If this results in a shaky start right before the crucial shoot, numerous takes, multiple requests for breaks and asking the crew for numerous things is not a sign of a bad actor – it’s a sign of being human.

Any good crew will appreciate this, because they’re also professionals and fellow humans. Once all but the core team have been asked to leave, those that remain will be keen to help you out so do ask them for anything you need (after all, they don’t want to be stuck reshooting that seen any longer than you will).

Eventually the nerves will dissipate, if not immediately – which is often the case – but certainly by the third or fourth take. And yes, it’s usual to spend so long shooting a love scene that it quickly starts feeling like just another day at the office!

Doing the Deed

Once pre-shoot jitters have abated and you’re in the midst of shooting, the same rules apply as with acting any other scene. Some actors find it helpful to run through the choreography in great detail (often clothed until ready to go) to such a level that nothing comes unexpected, while others like to keep it play it loose.

It’s beyond the scope of this article to discuss best acting practices here, but any acting school which offers an mfa acting course will be able to offer tuition on dealing with such situations (whether you have your clothes on or not.)

A Cautionary Note

Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, sex scenes will be amongst the least sexiest thing you ever do in your acting career. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t a form a romantic bond with your fellow lead.

A good director will choose actors who are likely to have strong chemistry before further encouraging this bond on set. To boot, by the time you’ve helped each other through the intense ordeal of shooting a love scene you’re going to have a pretty unbreakable sense of kinship.

This is something that can easily turn into a real-life liaisons dangereuses. Nothing necessarily wrong with that – for one, you’re an adult and can do as you please. Secondly, it’s not all that strange; couples meet at work all the time, it’s just that you’ve got a slightly stranger job!

But if your work does lead you to imminent throes of passion, take at least one moment to consider that it could have detrimental effects on both your career and your personal life (especially if you already have a partner, of course).