My sister has been under the weather. That’s an understatement. She’s been hit with a whammy and feels like a Mack truck has been treating her like a speed bump it’s testing its shocks on. Which is one of the reasons I’ve been quiet online. I’ve been to visit her in the ER, curled up in bed with her to nap another day, and today have been taking her for CT Scans and other various appointments.

It’s life, one doctor’s appointment at a time.

It sucks.

Not for me. It sucks seeing my sister going through the unknown. We have a pretty good idea of what’s going on with her, but until she see’s a myriad of doctors including her cardiologist, neurologist, gastroenterologist, it’s still all up in the air. And the crap thing is, she has to see all of them as what they think is going on relates to all of those systems.

The not knowing what’s going on for certain is difficult at best. It’s the fear of the unknown. That fear is one that grips you, trying to control you, while you’re struggling to keep your head up and not hate the world for the pain and misery you’re in.

Whee? That’s about all you can say.

Wait. It does suck for me. I hate this for her and wish I could take it all away and suffer for her. This is my only sister. My baby sister. The one I tried to boss around for years on end. I never thought we really liked each other. Turns out, we just see ourselves in each other and I think that makes us both uncomfortable. It’s hard looking at the person who you want to love on you and they give you the cold hard facts, even when those facts come from a place of love.

Maybe it’s been hard for us to get along because of our very apparent differences. But even our differences aren’t that different. Well, she doesn’t drink coffee, which means she’s just weird. Then again, I don’t have her ability to remain cool when dealing with assholes. I’m a Scorpio, and we know how water signs are, and she’s a Virgo. We have astrological differences that cause some of our issues. She’d tell you, that I’m the weird one now.

But yeah, right now, she’s living one doctor’s appointment at a time. Shuttling from place to place, living from one appointment to the next. I’ll be shuttling with her, as often as I possibly can — which is whenever she calls me to come up.

She’s my baby sister. I’ll move mountains for her, just to see her back on her feet… even if she wants to stick one of them up my rear when I’m back on my older sister box.

The post Life, One Doctor’s Appointment at a Time appeared first on A Daily Pinch.

        

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In a few weeks, I’m heading to the Jersey Shore (watch it) to hang out at Caesars in Atlantic City and reopen the Boardwalk for summer. How cool is that? There are going to be about 40 of us on location, so I’ve been working on my outfits for the trip and I’m sharing mine for our day outing in Belmar, NJ.

I found this dress on Land’s End, as well as the shoes, and ordered them straight away. They are perfect for me and suit my daily casual style. (Have I ever mentioned how much I love the coupons Lands End sends out? If love Lands End and you don’t get their coupons, you’re missing out). I’ll be wearing my REI Sunhat, gold hoop earrings, tortoise sunglasses and bangle bracelets along with copious amounts of sunscreen.

Am I wanting to wear this dress and shoes? No way! They’re supposed to be here Tuesday and I can’t wait to model them for the family. 

If you want to read more about our trip, please click on the link below in Related Articles.

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Every body is beautiful. That’s not a typo. I’m talking about every person walking on this planet is beautiful in their own way. It doesn’t matter what size or shape they are, they are beautiful. While you might disagree with me, it’s taken me a long time to come to this place in my life.

My friends all range in body size and shape, from waif thin to big, beautiful women. They are all beautiful.

However, now matter how beautiful I’ve always thought my friends are, I’ve never been able to look in the mirror and say “Hey, Lisa. You know what, girl? You’re pretty damn attractive. In fact, you’re beautiful.”

NEVER.

Until I made myself do it. This morning.

I threw up. (Something my husband doesn’t even know, until now. Hi babe.)

You see, I’m a big girl. For years, I’ve been shamed for my size. Even when I could still fit into the high end clothing sizes of haute couture (size 12), I was told I was too fat and wasn’t acceptable.

Let me put things in perspective. Sports Illustrated Swim Suit cover model Kate Upton is a size 12.

Yeah.

Who told me I was too fat and unacceptable? Everyone. Boys. Girls. Family members. Sales clerks in stores. People on the street. Oh, a lot of them might not have said it to my face. But they told me. I’ve had their looks. I’ve seen them turn away from me. Sales clerks will willingly help my “normal” sized husband, but they pretend I don’t exist. Servers in restaurants don’t assume my husband and I are together and always ask if we’d like separate checks or just bring us separate checks.

No. I’m not kidding you.

But, I’m also not the only person with this story. There are a million other big women with this story. There are also just as many women, thin, medium sized, and all sizes in-between with the same story. Either you’re too thin and need to eat more to gain weight, or you’re too fat. Even my friends who are amazingly fit, triathletes, who run marathons, have 12% body fat, are told they are “too thin”, “too butch” and “not soft enough”. Some have even been told they are too fat.

So who fits the mold? Many would say celebrities and models. But wait. Don’t we tear them apart, because GASP! they have cellulite? Or if they are bloated from their period, the tabloids use that as fodder to say “so and so is pregnant” or is “hiding a baby bump”. God help them if they gain two pounds, because the world is going to end and they’ll never get another role, nor be in another magazine, unless it’s one shaming their weight gain. If they have a baby, they’re screwed if they don’t appear in their skinny jeans two weeks after giving birth, sipping the latest green juice and looking as if they just came back from a month long tropical holiday.

Let’s face facts, it doesn’t matter what size you are, people won’t accept it unless you fit into their preconceived mold.

Yes, there are problems that come with being overweight. There are also problems that come with being too thin. There are problems no matter what size you are. I have a physical issue (polycystic ovarian syndrome) that is part of my weight problems and there is no cure, just treatment, which to date hasn’t been successful. That’s not what this post is about. It’s not about the health ramifications, even though I’m not naive enough to say there are none. My mother is in the medical profession, believe me, I know all the issues.

What I’d love to see is love. That we love the people we see on the street. We don’t point fingers. We don’t call people skinny minnies or tell people who are overweight how “disgusting” they are.

But what is it going to take for that to happen?

It’s going to conversation. REAL conversations between people who’ve set aside their judgments to sit and listen to each other. As much as we all want acceptance by others, the conversation will be stronger when we discuss both openly and honestly. The more we learn to have self-acceptance, the less others opinions will affect us. Yet the more others lift us up instead of cutting us down, the more self-acceptance we’ll have.

I’ve had those real conversations. Even I have been guilty of posting the pictures on Facebook of Marilyn Monroe and how a “real woman” should look. That is, until I sat down and talked to my dear friend, Heather, who is a super-thin gal. She is tall. Reed thin. Beautiful. Everything I always wanted to be. Heather also has a hard time finding clothes to fit her and is more likely to lose weight than gain weight. It’s just how her body is geared. Just like mine is genetically pre-dispositioned to look like a linebacker for a professional football team.

I don’t know what it will take for the conversation to start. I’m not sure where we go with the conversation. I wonder if people are too set in their ways to follow through and have a cordial discussion about such a heated topic. But, I have to set my worries aside and do the hard thing. I have to start the conversation. If I wait for others to start, it might never happen. And not taking a chance on changing the world would be irresponsible.

The post Every Body is Beautiful appeared first on A Daily Pinch.

        

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Spring in North Carolina hasn’t been very seasonable and after this weekend I’m pretty sure summer has forgotten us. The cold, rainy weather has given me a chance to browse the aisles of my local drugstore in hopes warm weather will return and I’ll feel as summery as I look. Drugstore brands are a great addition when you’re looking to update your summer beauty routine and don’t want to spend a lot of cash. With the ever improving quality of products, you

1. Jergens Natural Glow is my go-to product for turning my very pale skin into a “healthy” tanned visage. The good folks at Jergens have spent a lot of time on their formula so you don’t have to worry about about people noticing the distinctive smell many faux tanners leave.

2. Not Your Mother’s Hair Care Beach Babe. This texturizing sea salt spray has been a staple in my routine for almost a year. I simply spray it in and get amazing waves, separation and texture in my hair. (Disclosure: My hair already has pretty good natural body, so your results may be different than mine.)

3. Essie Nail Polish “in the cab-ana” is the perfect aqua blue to tip your fingers or toes for summer fun. I love pairing it with an orange accent nail.

4. Revlon’s Pacific Coast Collection by Gucci Westman has a bright pop of color for the lips and sultry ocean blues for the eyes. Nothing makes me crave salt water more.

5. Year after year, I rely on Banana Boat’s Aloe After Sun Lotion. It’s been my go-to staple for 20 years and one I’ll continue using as long as they keep making it.

6. Sun protection is very important to me and I spend extra for my skin. My go-to sunscreen year-round is LaRoche-Posay Anthelios 45 Ultra Light Fluid for Face. I have very sensitive skin and this brand doesn’t irritate my face, or more importantly, my eyes.

What are your favorite drugstore beauty buys? 

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Want to bring back the arts to Time Warner Cable? Click on this link http://www.bringbackovation.com/pages/art-heist to sign the petition and let them know we want OvationTV back!

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Social media is an amazing tool and way of communication. It’s opened a whole new world for millions of people, but it’s not without fault.

I’m thinking a lot about those flaws right now.

Let me backtrack.

It’s 1998 and I’m in a chat room after a day on the golf course. Normally, I’d have been out since it was a Friday night, but I had sprained my ankle earlier in the day. (Never play golf in Keds.) In that chat room was a nice young man. He was flirty, made fun of me for spraining my ankle on the golf course and after chatting for a few hours — with the other hundred or so people in the room — asked if he could email me.

That email turned into hundreds of emails, which turned into phone calls, and finally, a face-to-face meeting. Of course, when we met, everyone was terrified, because according to them, the Internet was filled with rapists and murderers. We’ve been together 15 years, married nearly 14 and have a 12 year old son.

Fast forward to 2013 and the state of the world I work in feels as if it’s going to hell in a hand basket. The Wall Street Journal has decided I’m some sort of party animal. I hate to break it to you WSJ, I was at Type-A  Advanced in Philadelphia two weeks ago and was in bed at 10pm, working, with a bottle of water and Udi’s Gluten-free Snickerdoodle cookies.

That’s right folks, I know how to rage.

Sure, I’m a mom, but that is not my entire identity. I feel like publications/journalists are out to slay the “mommy blogger”and seem to forget I am more than “Mom.” Before I was a mother, I was Lisa. And while I love my son, I also take time to make sure I nurture Lisa. My son is part of me. Giving birth to him was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done, or will ever do, in my life. But being his mother does not define me as a whole. If it did, I’d crack. For me to be a happy mother, I have to remember who Lisa is and do little things for her as well.

I’m a writer. I also do true social media strategy — meaning I take a set of problems and come up with a solution that makes everyone happy and gets measurable results. I do community management — and I’m good at it. (Believe me, there is a lot more to it than Facebooking and Tweeting.) I’m also working on two books (not including the folders full of notes for future projects.)

I don’t have time to go and party like it’s the dot com era and money is flowing like Cristal in the VIP room of NYC clubs. I mainly write for a living. Show me a normal everyday working writer with Cristal money and I’ll show you a writer who is truly blessed financially; or has a magic chicken laying golden eggs in their closet.

But lately, the world of social media has been slowly eroding. At times, I feel it’s an avalanche trying to bury us all. Social media is no longer about conversation. It feels like it’s about shoving your opinion down someone’s throat and that’s the be-all-end-all. I don’t even have to go into what I have seen, but opinions are just that: opinions—and they’re written all the time. They have been around since the existence of time. Except people used to believe in having a verbal discourse known as a conversation and would respect another person’s opinion.

What happened to the art of conversation? When did we forget to sit back, take a deep breath, collect our thoughts and then proceed? Instead of moving ahead with all of this grand technology, it feels like we’re moving backwards. It’s like we’re becoming digitized cave people: truncating our thoughts into 140 characters or less, sharing (or is it promoting?) our selfie photos like cave paintings on a wall, or Vining our little clips where we discovered fire or invented the wheel.

We’re not becoming more civilized, we’re becoming more primitive.

I’m not perfect. Sure I’ve been known to spout off at the mouth without thinking. I’m human. However, the older I get, the more I think about what I say and the ramifications. Call me an old fogey, but I worry the last thing I say to someone could be something that hurt them deeply and I don’t want that on my conscious. It’s not saying I don’t have an opinion, but it’s that I take my time and process.

Does that affect me as a writer? Not really, as the only opinion pieces I write are here and rarely anything that would cause heat. That’s because the voice in my head are the my Grandmother, Mother and Aunt, all telling me “If you don’t have anything to say about anyone, it’s best not to say it at all.” The phrase “never discuss in public what you wouldn’t discuss in polite company” also rings a bell.

I’m just still trying to figure out where social is heading. I know where I’m headed — to expand my efforts to create a better, kinder world with social media. By moderating my actions, I hope to influence others and remind them of days gone past… when courtesy ruled and we respected others opinions.

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I love to cook. In fact, nothing makes me happier than having people I love over to my home and feeding them. (It’s a Southern thing, y’all.) I also love great design and am in the process of house hunting, so I’ve been spending a lot of time in thought on what my needs are in the kitchen. First is practicality, second is clean, modern/contemporary design.

Why is the kitchen so important? It’s the heart of the home. I cook three meals a day in my kitchen (I work from home and try to avoid the routine of sandwiches, freezer meals, or cheese sticks washed down with a cup of coffee.) That’s a lot of time spent in one spot. Why not spend extra time making sure it’s sleek, stylish and ingeniously designed to enable the professional results I’m looking for?

What is in my ideal kitchen? A refrigerator with French Doors (freezer on the bottom), a mack-daddy dishwasher that can handle whatever I put in it, and a great stove top with dual ovens built into the wall. While I know this sounds really over-the-top, it’s not for our lifestyle.

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Whether you’re heading for a night out on the coast, or day out on the town, this collection of blues and golds for the plus-size gal will take your summer wardrobe to a new level of chic. This week, I’m exploring blues and golds on Fashion Friday.

The Lauren by Ralph Lauren shirt reminds me of ocean waves, soothing my soul with its languid striping. The addition of the white cropped pants creates a crisp, summer look, which will take you from a day out on the town, to a night out on the coast. The addition of gold and blue accessories creates a look at is fun and fresh.

What are you wearing this summer?

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My office is in a corner of our living room and while it’s to my back for a great deal of the day, I’m feeling the urge to re-do the entire room.

I do believe I’d start with the Crate and Barrel Margot Sofa. The midnight blue has tones of grey which makes it a great neutral addition. We’ve actually been looking at it for some time, as we’re getting ready to replace our sofa. It also blends my husbands love of Modern Design with my more Contemporary/Traditional tastes.

For a pop of color, I’d add this pink chair. (That noise you’re hearing? My husband and son groaning.)

Source: loveyourplace.blogspot.com via Lisa on Pinterest

I’d also add little complementary pops of color like this simple floral arrangement:

Source: elegantlyeclectic.tumblr.com via Lisa on Pinterest

I’ve been looking at rugs as well, because if we learned anything from “The Big Lebowski”, it was the rug ties the room together, always.

This living room setting below is a great blend for my family as it brings in modern and contemporary elements, which is a must in our home. The shades of gray soothe, while the green accents complement.

Contemporary Living Room by San Anselmo Interior Designer Ann Lowengart Interiors, LLC

I’ve selected two looks. Both similar, but very different in color scheme. This just means I need to spend more time thinking about which direction I want to take our living space.

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This month I’m keeping April showers in check with an entryway arsenal of stylish pieces for umbrellas, raincoats and muddy shoes.

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