Adam "Rooster" Handy

Professional Tips From a Certified Unprofessional

2016-10-02T16:55:00.001-04:00

1. - Poop before you take a shower. Pooping after a shower makes it difficult to wipe.
2. - Never poop in the shower.
3. - If you do poop before your shower, turn on the shower first so it's nice and warm by time you're done pooping.
4. - Take long showers. Use that time to think of all the things you need to do.
5. - Shave while you're in the shower.
6. - You don't need a new towel every time you shower. You were clean when you used it the last time, remember?

- #SocialMovementsMustHaveAHashtag
- No matter what quirks you have, there is always a scientific study that says that it is a sign of being intelligent

More to come

plugins

2015-04-03T19:01:00.001-04:00

Weight Equality

2014-01-19T09:38:00.002-05:00

"The Knot Ties From Both Ends" - Adam Rooster Handy

saving grace

2012-12-09T19:53:00.000-05:00

old school girlfriend application

2012-10-29T21:40:00.000-04:00

lol found this on my myspace account.... wrote it back in 2006....

Girlfriedn Application

Current mood:anxious

Hello and welcome to Adam's Girl Online Co.

Here you will Find An Application to be Adam's Gilrfriend. Adam does not discriminate so please all races, genders, life forms, and sexual preferances are welcome. Dont get discouraged, the app looks long but you will be done in no time. Feel Free to be as short or as detailed as you want.

Disclaimer: By filling this out you give Adam the right to Review, laugh, and enjoy your application.

Please fill out your general info below befor we start the rest of the application.

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Step 1.

Full Name:

Location:

Age:

Horoscope Sign:

Social Security Number:

Drivers licens number (If Applicable):

Phone Number:

How tall are you?:

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Now that we know who you are we can go on to step 2. In Step 2 We have some General questions Adam would like to know about you. These questions are orginized by subject. Please take your time.

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2.

Do you smoke?:

Do you drink?:

Do Any drugs?:

Do you drive? If yes what do you drive?:

Are you in school? If yes where?:

Do you work? If yes where?:

Do you have a nickname? If yes what is it?:

Do you have rubber nipples?:

Whats your favorite flower?:

Do you cook without burning the food?:

Cats or Dogs?:

Summer or winter?:

Do you give piggy back rides?

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Now we are on to the more detailed and interesting questions. These questions will give Adam a better feel of who you are.

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3.

Subjet - What if.

What if you were stranded on an island and no people except pigmies on one side of the island and crack heads on the other, what would you do to survive for 10 years when your randomly rescued?:

What if you found out i was your brother and we had already done the deed?:

What if you found out Adam was your brother and you had been together for 3 years already?:

Subject - sexual

How many people have you had sex with?:

Where is the most random place you have had sex?:

What is your favorite sexual position?:

Where is your favorite place to have sex?:

What do you do when you masterbate?:

What is your favorite sexual taboo? (if you dont want people to know this then you can send it to me in a private message, i give you my word i will tell no one):

Are you willing to try anything?:

Whats your favorite part about your body?:

what do you do during sex (ex. scream, moan, talk dirty, act goofy)?:

Are you dominant in bed or do you do what your told?

What kind of sex do you like?

How do you feel about bite marks?:

Do you bring toys to the bed?

Would you take naked pictures of yourself and send them to me?:

Do you cook or clean naked?:

What kind of underwear do you wear?:

Do you start sexual thing on your own (ex. making out, blowjobs, sex) or do you wait for someone else to start it?

Subject - In a relationship

Whats your longest relationship?:

what is the 3 most important things to you in a relationship?:

What are 3 things that piss you off the most in a relationship?:

Who wears the pants?:

Do you talk about whats bothering you or do you hold it back?:

What do you look for in a guy?:

What Do you look for in a relationship?:

Do you cheat in your relationships?

Subject - Life

Where do you see yourself in 2 years?

How old do you thik you will be when you get married?

Do you want kids? If so how many?

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The next set of questions are based apon if you and adam were already together

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4.

Adam gets overheated Rater easily during the summer, if it was a hot summer day what would you do with Adam durring that day.

You and adam are out on your 5th date and running out of ideas on what to do, what do you do?

If adam were to call you at 3 in the morning asking you to go jogging with him and his dog at 4 what would you do?

Name 3 concerts you would take adam to.:

So your looking to spice up the sex life a bit, Adam brings out the idea adding another girl, what do you say?:

Adam's dog attacks and kills your cat. what do you do?:

You and adam are cuddleing in bed and you have to fart. what do you do?:

Adam asks you to trim, shave, or grow out your pubic hair, would you?

You and adam are on a road trip to where ever. The car breaks down do you make him walk for help? Do you walk for help? Or do you go together?:

Would you have anal sex with him if he could asure you that it will not hurt?:

Adam is driving and you are with him. Would you give him a handjob or blowjob without being asked just cause you know he likes it?

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This section is to see how well you know adam.

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5.

What is His favorite color? red, blue or green:

Whats his favorite tea? lemon, raspberry or blueberry:

How many piercings does he have? 2, 5, 7:

How many brothers and sisters does he have? 3, 4, 5:

How many of them did he have sex with? 0, 1, 2:

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So this is the end of the application. there is only a small part left for you to fill out. take care and thans for applying at Adam's Girl Co.

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Please add a question that you think should have been on this application.

Please add any information you would like Adam to know.

Please ask Adam 3 questions you would like to know.

Last but not least what is it that you like about Adam?:

And WTHR is false

2012-10-14T20:31:00.000-04:00

dear readers that are just randomly coming by my blog (cause i have no subscribers) this post is in response to a post by one of my local news stations.
http://www.wthr.com/story/19796390/the-harmful-effects-of-hookah
the post is titled "The harmful effects of hookah"

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my response to the article is below
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wow I'm offended and highly annoyed... this is what i love about people who try and pull out facts about hookah let me quote you from your own misguided post

"A typical one-hour hookah session involves inhaling 100 to 200 times the volume of smoke inhaled from a single cigarette. That's according to studies cited by the CDC."

you are comparing "ONE HOUR" against "ONE CIGARETTE". that is in NO WAY a controlled test... obviously youre going to get more smoke from that cause you are smoking more tobacco.. thats just one thing from that quote that is misleading

if you take a liter of smoke from a cigarette and a liter from hookah, you will see that there is FAR less toxins in the hookah smoke.
shisha (the name of the tobacco for hookah) has no extra additives its just the plant and a flavored molasses. most brands of shisha wash their tobacco which lowers the content of nicotine. the average cigarette has 5% nicotine in it, the average hookah has .05% which is a HUGE difference.

on top of all that there is no chemical additives to typical shisha unlike cigarettes that have a list of over 500 additives
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_additives_in_cigarettes

the average smoker smokes a pack a day, the average hookah smoker doesnt even smoke every day. someone like me that is an above average hookah smoker will smoke an hour a day, rarely do people smoke more than that a day.

dear WTHR news... get your facts straight before you post an article... oh thats right, facts are something from the past when news companies were actually respectful.

Dear Target.com

2012-01-09T14:14:00.001-05:00

Dear target
I never plan on shopping online with you again... probably never going to your store again... I’m generally a very patient person, but it has run out.... I pre-ordered this game on the 26th of OCTOBER....the first thing you did was charge me twice, so I had to call up and get one of them taken care of. Second when you pre order this game you get what’s called early game access which lets you gain access to the game before its released but only for a few days... you were supposed to send me that code with my receipt... when I asked about it a week later you told me it isn’t something you do and that I had to talk to the game company…. So I talk to them and they tell me no that is something you (as in target) is supposed to take care of…. Keep in mind all this was in October…

I didn’t get my pre order access code till December just a week before I could use the access code… now I was happy to receive my access code in time to play BUT there was one problem… YOU (as in target) sent me a CODE that SOMEONE ELSE already USED…. Yes you sent me a code I couldn’t use cause someone had already used it… what the hell am I supposed to do with a code that is already used? so I thought about messaging you again to get a new code… but then it hit me… you aren’t reliable so I would probably be waiting a week just to hear back from you… so I decided to message the game makers again and see if they could help me… luckily for me they just sent me a new one without a problem…

So here I am playing the game a few days before it is released on the 20th of December… everything is fine at this point… the 20th rolls around and I start checking my email for the notification from you that the game has been shipped…. 20th no email…. 21st no email and they stop early game access and make it so only people with a product registration can play…. 22nd no email…. And then comes the 28th and I receive a notification saying that my order has been delayed, well no shit I can already tell that. I read further down and you tell me that my order won’t be shipped till the 9th… are you serious the 9th? That is 3 weeks after the release date…

Well like I said I’m patient, but here I am on the 9th as in TODAY… and still no notification…. Get your shit together and send my order or I’m canceling my 160$ order and going to Wal-Mart… and when I say send me my order, I don’t mean next week.. I mean overnight that on your own dime… I don’t care if you have to hand deliver it to me yourself at 4AM because this is fucking stupid. You have done nothing but fuck up my order since day one and I’m a little pissed off now.

Isn’t your motto expect more pay less? I do expect more… WAY more considering you’re a corporation... worst customer service and no customer satisfaction. And how am I paying less? I'm paying just as much here as anywhere else… try changing it to – pay the same with a headache

I hope you had some happy fucking holidays slacking off
Adam
P.S……… oh and fuck you

Phone posting

2011-09-24T01:00:00.001-04:00

I know you guys are thrilled, I can now post anywhere. Just downloaded the phone app for blogger.

Google Shopping Fail

2011-09-09T11:28:00.001-04:00

while i was searching for a new jacket i noticed the same pages kept popping up randomly... google apparently doesnt want me to find a jacket easily

Click the picture to enlarge

Democratic Parking Only

2011-09-09T11:12:00.002-04:00

This all started when my friend lauren posted a picture of someone parking to close to where she cant get in on the driver side... now lauren and i have known each other for quite a a few years so i know her fairly well and she knows i joke around a lot.... i also know she helped out in the democratic party for awhile and is very in to politics... so i did what i normally do and i made a joke.... this one turned out pretty good even tho lauren never even responded

Click picture to enlarge

Squash Crabs and Girl Scouts

2011-09-02T12:02:00.001-04:00

So here we have another convo.... i have been meaning to record all of my convos with comical value but i keep forgetting... this one starts off normal from a picture of some bugs on a squash... lyndsy is the OP and eden is her friend... i have met eden like twice maybe?

Click the picture to enlarge

do you own a iphone best4gnetworkblog.info

2011-07-04T05:42:00.001-04:00

fuck no im not ever gonna buy a piece of shit from the iNazi company

Ask me anything

League of legends login lol

2011-03-31T14:29:00.002-04:00

I play a game called League of Legends, and when you log in, if there is to many people on you get a login que so the server doesnt have way to much going on and lag out the games.... well when i went to log in today this is what i got.

Click pic to enlarge

for those of you that dont know what league of legends is, its a completly free game where you and your team try to take over the other teams base... you each have your own champion with their own abilities....

great game and rather addicting.... play till level 10 and i swear you will be addicted... use my referal to sign up so i can get some goodies Click here to sign up

for those of you that play league of legends my name is Rooster Misfit...

Brandon the ugly witch daddy

2011-03-30T17:17:00.003-04:00

Click to see the full size..... read its quite funny

2011-03-09T04:01:00.003-05:00

i dont wear big glasses, i dont gauge all of my piercings to a huge size, i dont wear clothes twice my size, i dont wear my hat flat brimmed and barely on my head, i dont cover myself in tattoos from head to toe, my clothes are never designer, and i dont do my hair to match the latest fashion..... why? cause im not trying to look like everyone else.. i dont need to look like someone famous to fit in.. my personality does that for me and it will take care of the famous part too... i=unique i=individual i=me

click here

Aaron's music video

2010-10-02T03:01:00.004-04:00

my buddy aaron hines out on the west coast

original post ---> http://fworlds.blogspot.com/2010/09/206-bass-test-music-video-dropped.html

candy bar commercial

2010-09-20T09:42:00.002-04:00

tesco tractor

2010-09-20T09:39:00.000-04:00

granny shooting an automatic

2010-09-20T09:34:00.000-04:00

Simon's Cat 'Cat Man Do'

2010-09-20T09:28:00.000-04:00

child tells parents about seeing them in bed

2010-09-20T09:03:00.001-04:00

hookah or bar?

2010-08-30T23:44:00.001-04:00

there is something about just sitting in the hookah bar with friends. im 26 years old but im not a drinker and generally drunks annoy the shit out of me so i see no problems with hanging out here.

a lot of people give me shit cause 18 year olds hang here but when i started comin here everyone was over 21 and over the years we have gotten some younger people but only if they are actually entertaining to hang with.

im sorry for all of you people over 21 that think its so great to go to a bar and drink all night, but i dont care for that. bars are crowded with annoying stupid people who are drunk as fuck and all think they are amazing... i can go get drinks at the store for way cheaper and a lot less hassle.

now youre gonna say that everyone that goes to the hookah bar is immature, but have you really looked at yourself when you are drunk... yeah i might have someone that is 18 at my table that acts 18.... but at least im not with someone 30 acting like 15 when drunk..

now im not saying drinking is bad or wrong cause i myself drink but that doesnt change the fact you really have no standpoint in telling me where i should hang out.... you like to get drunk i like to sit around playing cards, cracking jokes, and smoking a hookah...

by the way i am at the Egyptian right now smoking a hookah hanging with friend with multiple topics to talk about...

so yeah go get drunk and i will sit and smoke...

i accidentally a fleshlight - mike

2010-08-22T04:21:00.000-04:00

Michael
?

04:06Me
?

04:06Michael
you say somethin?

04:06Me
did you?
i just accidentally a whole fleshlight

04:06Michael
uh, what?
it popped up like you said something, but was blank. and my browser has been acting up and not showing msgs sometimes, just blank windows

04:07Me
i accidentally a fleshlight

04:07Michael
you're missing a word

04:07Me
what should i do?

04:07Michael
*fucked, *ordered, *swallowed

04:07Me
yeah but it was the WHOLE THING

04:08Michael
[facepalm]
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH/TO IT

04:08Me
dude i dont know how to tell you this
i just accidentally the whole fucking thing
help me out here!

04:09Me
dude seriously what do i do
this is really uncomfortable

04:11Michael
shut up.. lol

04:12Me
lol http://adamhandy.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-accidentally-fleshlight.html

04:12Michael
I was just readin about it on another site

04:12Me
lol
im about to add yours to mine

04:12Michael
lol doucher

04:13Me
man i love it when i accidentally a whole fleshlight

Underwear Police

2010-08-17T15:18:00.000-04:00

Toilet Office prank

2010-08-17T15:15:00.002-04:00