A Day in Mollywood

25 Facts About Me

Molly — Thu, 24 May 2012 12:00:46 +0000

My best friend did this on her blog and so I thought I would join in. Feel free to participate on your blog too! Here are some lovely little randoms about yours truly.

1. I am deathly afraid of spiders. Sometimes I shake my clothes out in the morning to make sure there isn’t one in there.

2. I am addicted to coffee. For serious. One morning the Keurig wouldn’t work and I was on the verge of an all out breakdown.

3. I don’t really care about make-up. I know some people love it but if I had a clear face I probably wouldn’t even wear any.

4. I’ve realized just how unflexible I’ve become. I used to be a human gumby. Jumping and doing the splits. I tried to do a backstand the other day to impress Landon and my arms couldn’t even push me up into position. Pathetic.

5. I love riding roller coasters. I love that feeling you get in your tummy when you go down big hills. My favorite roller coaster of all time was the Incredible Hulk Coaster at Universal Studios. Talk about a thrill.

6. Just three years ago I swore I would never use text messaging. Now my thumbs are hard at work each day.

7. I listen to KLove about 95% of the time now. It’s the Christian radio station and it gives me so much hope.

8. I use post-it notes at work. A lot.

9. Reading books makes me feel good about myself. Watching mindless TV does not.

10. My favorite foods are cheesecake and cheetos and french fries. After 33 years of eating like shit it’s finally starting to catch up with me.

11. My most unfavorite chore is laundry. I don’t like folding clothes and hanging them up.

12. I was so excited to finally have a playroom for the boys. But they don’t even use it that much.

13. I have never taken out the trash since Naaman and I got married.

14. Sonic is probably my favorite fast food restaurant. And guess what? They brought back corndogs. I’d like to think my blog post on the matter helped.

15. It has been nearly five years since Naaman and I have been on a vacation alone together. We are really starting to get the itch to go somewhere to reconnect. Five years is much too long.

16. I chew my nails and cuticles. It’s a habit I’ve never been able to break.

17. I love snow skiing although I rarely get to go. I can ski blue and black hills and not fall on my ass.

18. I miss playing the French horn. I was damn good at it. First chair in the state of Missouri TWICE. Now I doubt I could even play one note.

19. I just finished watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix and became obsessed with it. Next I tried to watch Vampire Diaries and had to turn it off. The acting was utterly horrifying after watching such a good series.

20. I can’t stand drinking water. I have to force myself.

21. I used to dress like a slut in college. Now that I look back, I’m just sickened at what my wardrobe was.

22. The breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding war really gets my blood boiling. As a mother who bottle fed one baby and breastfed the other, I know for certain that it does not matter how you get them fed (with the exception of third world countries w/o clean water). It’s all about LOVING your children. Boob or bottle. Can’t we all just get along?

23. I hold pencils and pens wrong. My thumb sticks out when I write.

24. If I had a boatload of money I would give some of it to a no-kill animal shelter. I have a big heart for animals.

25. I once called one of those 1-800 numbers to speak to a pychic. They said someone important would come into my life whose name started with the letter ”F”. Still waiting for that . . .

And there you have it! 25 random factoids about me

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Thank You

Molly — Tue, 22 May 2012 12:00:41 +0000

I just finished reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. If ever there was a book that rocked me . . . this would be it. It had been recommended to me for over a year. I finally purchased a copy and held it in my hands waiting for an epiphany.

Only a few pages in and I had to grab my pen. I started marking paragraphs with a star that spoke to me. Because I quickly realized, this is a book I should read more than once. This is a book I should reference when life seems like too much. And lately, it does.

As cliche as this sounds, I have had the weight of the world on my shoulders. A month ago I found something on the internet that shook me, haunted me and worst of all, made me question my faith in God. I won’t go into detail. It would make you sick. But I will say this much. Since finding it I have spent many nights in absolute desperation. Crying out to God to please stop the pain and the agony that is going on in this world. I have asked him for understanding. I have asked the age-old question. Why God? If you are really there how can you let this happen?

I have always been sensitive. More sensitive than most people, I think. Sometimes I let the world’s problems fall on me. When I feel I can’t do anything about it I get sad. Deeply sad. It’s safe to say that I grieve. I grieve for people that I don’t even know.

After two weeks of crying myself to sleep I called my therapist. I went in the next day desperate for her to make it better. She confirmed that I am experiencing a grief reaction. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t think straight. All I wanted to do was help. But the problem is thousands of miles away. I felt helpless, useless and hopeless.

And so entered the book. This is not a review. No one is paying me to say this. But it is a life-changer. Dare I say it? A life-saver.

Gratitude. It’s as simple and as complicated as that.

Be thankful. Count your blessings, however small. Because it is all a gift from God. Every little thing.

The dirty dishes in the sink. The job that keeps me away from my kids. The injustice happening all over the world. No matter what is happening – God is GOOD. Always.

I have to believe that. I have to thank Him. Give glory only to Him. Everything I have. Everything that I am. It is because of Him.

He blesses me in the mundane. He blesses me in my sadness. He blesses me in the busyness of an imperfect life.

I feel better knowing that.

I just have to try harder. I have to see. Every day, see.

This is what it’s all about. The believing.

I can’t pretend to understand His plan. I have to stop trying so hard to understand His will.

I just have to trust. When I do I feel better.

Sometimes I hesitate to write about God and Jesus on this blog. I’ll be the first to tell you that in 2006, when I started this blog, I swore I would never write about religion. I thought it was weird.

But He had other plans for me. Our glorious God waited patiently for me.

This blog is mine and spirituality is becoming a big part of who I am. Whoever thought that when I am having a bad day I would learn to pray about it? Oh, amazing transformation. If this makes you uncomfortable, so be it. It helps me. It gives me hope. Who could fault me for trying to find a little hope in this topsy-turvy world?

I was struggling. Struggling in my head and in my heart. But I can let go now.

Because He’s there.

And in the words of Ann Voskamp . . .

THANK YOU.

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Open Wide

Molly — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:00:20 +0000

this is my "if you touch my mouth again I'll kill you" face

I have been to the dentist five times since late March. Stupidly, I hadn’t been for two years even though I had been having pain in one of my molars. By the time I finally went it was discovered that my tooth was cracked and I needed a crown. So I went back time and again and got stuck by needles multiple times on multiple days to fix other cavities and do the crown procedure. Once I had the crown put in (which didn’t fit the first damn time, lucky me) I was told there was a slight chance I might still need a root canal.

I prayed I wouldn’t have to but . . . sure enough the pain over the next two weeks was excruciating. The left side of my mouth was radiating waves of pain and I had to take aleve every six hours or I seriously regretted it. I couldn’t sleep and if I did I would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat feeling like my mouth was falling off my head.

So I went on Tuesday for my root canal. Big surprise? They could not get me numb. So instead of being calm, cool and collected I started to panic about the pain that would be involved in order to get to the root. She said once she got to the root she could finally get me numb because she would be right at the source. But you guys? Getting there was f#@*ing awful. The only saving grace was giving me nitrous oxide so I felt drunk. But that wasn’t until after they got to the root. Talk about pain. I might have cursed in the dentist’s face.

Even with all that trouble, I am SO GLAD I had this done. I feel 1000x better now. The tooth was terribly infected and I guess had been for awhile. I can’t believe how much better I feel. I didn’t realize how much pain I was in until the pain wasn’t there anymore!

I have to go back one.more.time to complete the filling on the crown. Appointment #6, people. All because I waited too long.

So this is a warning to you all. You are supposed to go to the dentist every six months for a check-up and cleaning. My recommendation to you is to get your ass in that chair STAT if you haven’t been. No really. Call right now. I’ll wait.

I made so many excuses. I can’t get a babysitter. I work full-time. The pain is not *that* bad.

I totally regret not going.

If you listen carefully you can hear my mom saying, “I told you so.” It was so much easier when she used to schedule my dental appointments for me.

I hope you learn your lesson from my mistake.

Okay, why are you still here? Go call your dentist.

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The Mail

Molly — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:00:22 +0000

It is difficult to explain depression to someone who has never truly been depressed. I can talk to you about sadness and anxiety until I’m blue in the face. And you can nod your head and say, “that really sucks” in your best supportive tone. But you may still be thinking that I’m just down in the dumps and need to pull myself out of it.

As a writer, I’m always looking for new ways to describe what it’s like to be depressed. I write about this stuff because it may help someone be a better friend in the future.

I am so easily overwhelmed when I’m on the downhill slide. The littlest task can set me on a path of despair and fear.

Take, for instance, the mail.

My mind is so muddled with empty and sad thoughts that I forget to go to the mailbox for a few days. When I finally remember it is overflowing. I let out a sigh of frustration and gather it in my hands. I take it inside and lay it out on the counter. I have good intentions of going through it. Tossing the junk mail, shredding documents and paying any extra bills that come in. But glancing at it, my mind begins to shut down. I pile it into a neat stack and store it next to the coffee maker.

I see it every morning, every afternoon, every night. It stares and begs, open me, open me, open me. But I haven’t the energy to face it. So it stays there, the pile growing each day.

I know I need to open it but just looking at it overwhelms me to the point that I have to leave the room. I feel tired thinking about sorting through it. It’s the same with email.

That’s when I know I’m in a depression. When the mail is piled high it’s a tell tale sign that something is wrong.

Let me be clear – this does not mean I am LAZY. No, I’m an adult. I know what needs to be done. But it isn’t that easy for my mind. I get extremely overwhelmed and my first reaction is to hide from whatever is making me anxious.

Lately, I’ve been heading to bed after I put the boys to sleep. Sometimes it feels like it’s all I can do to make it there. And once I’m there I can’t get up.

I’m so tired. So very tired.

That’s what depression does to you. It exhausts your mind. It exhausts your body. It ROBS you of energy. It ROBS you of your will and your strength and your light.

I don’t know why. I don’t know how it is capable of doing this even while taking three medications.

The truth is – it’s not fair.

I want to be a good mom and a good wife and a good person overall. I want to keep up with housework and make everyone happy, myself included.

Depression is like a leaky faucet. You try to tighten the plumbing but you still drip, drip, drip anyway.

When the simple task of getting the mail seems impossible – that’s when I know.

I know there’s a leak.

Linking up with Pour Your Heart Out.

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Briggy’s 2nd Birthday

Molly — Tue, 15 May 2012 12:00:55 +0000

It has already been two weeks since his party but better late than never. All three of my sisters got to be at Briggy’s second birthday party, which made the day extra special. It was a small party with family only. Turns out that’s the way I like parties now. Low key and limited guest list. But it was just perfect! We did a Clifford the Big Red Dog theme. Not much to go off of for that theme but Briggy loves Clifford so I was bound and determined to incorporate him somehow.

Here is the only halfway decent photo of our family. How do people get good family shots? I mean, really. HOW?

Birthday boy Briggy blowing out the candles!

Brigs got lots of good loot. Tons of matchbox cars, which are his favorite. He didn’t want to put them down.

I posted awhile ago on my blog that I was doing a Clifford themed party. That day I got an email from a local blog reader who owns a party rental company. She offered me the Clifford costume at no cost! So sweet. See this blogging gig does pay off from time to time.

The best part of the whole party was when the kids heard a knock at the door and opened it to find CLIFFORD himself!!!

Landon got up on the table to hug him!

Brigham was timid at first . . .

But by the end he and Clifford were fist bumping.

Here’s the best shot we got of Grandma and Papaw with all five of their grandkids, princess Charlotte now included.

It was another great birthday party with many wonderful memories made!

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Old Missouri Town

Molly — Thu, 10 May 2012 12:05:29 +0000

I love where we live. There is a nature reserve five minutes away from our house where buffalo and elk roam. Pretty cool, eh? They also have Old Missouri Town there. It is a place made to look like a Missouri town in the 1800′s. They do fun events there and this past Saturday they had sheep shearing day! Even though it was a scorcher (90 degrees in May!) my boys, grandma and papaw and my nephew ventured out to experience something new.

We first met Moses the cow. He was chewing straw just hanging out when all of a sudden . . . cow pie!

The boys laughed so hard when the cow pooped. It was too funny.

Next we headed over to see them shear a sheep! The boys were mesmerized by this. The sheep just laid there like it was nothing.

You have to think how good it would feel to have all that heavy wool shaved off of you. They only do it once a year!

Then they take the wool and start making things with it immediately! Pretty amazing!

The boys listened to some old-fashioned music. The woman played Old McDonald and we all sang.

Next thing we knew, the boys were running in the field trying to find the sheep that was making the loud “baaaaah” sound.

I didn’t really know how this would go but the boys saw the stilts and had to try them out. Papaw helped give all the boys a try.

We were pretty hot and sweaty by this time but Landon wanted to try the “hoops” game.

Brigham cannot be left out. He must do whatever Landon is doing so he tried it out too.

It was another fantastic Saturday. I promised to try new things with the boys and so far we’re succeeding!

As always, thanks for reading.

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Let’s talk about tantrums

Molly — Mon, 07 May 2012 12:00:39 +0000

At nearly four-years-old Landon is still such a sweet boy. But he certainly has his moments.

When we moved to our new house last year we saw a change in him. The sudden attitude came out of nowhere. He would talk back and keep doing the wrong thing even when we asked him to stop. And the tantrums began. For many people it’s coined the “terrible twos.” Not for us. Two was a breeze compared to three-years-old.

Maybe the transition to a new house and a new daycare was just too much him. Naaman and I thought he would settle in and the tantrums would calm down. But no, they only seem to get more frequent during his time as a three-year-old.

I’m not worried about his behavior. In fact, I’m guessing this is completely normal and a lot of people deal with this change. I’m just one of those dumb parents in la-la-land who thought the tantrums would skip over us. Landon was so easy breezy until right before he turned three. So imagine my surprise the first time he falls on the floor and cries for fifteen minutes over the fact that I gave Brigham the blue sippy cup and not him. I hadn’t dealt with much of that yet so I didn’t (don’t) know how to handle it.

For the most part he is still a sweetheart of a little boy. Hugs and kisses and “I love you’s” are plentiful. They tell me he is the star student at preschool and they never have issues with his behavior. But when he’s with us, every once in awhile, we have an unexpected meltdown. Most recently, in the waiting area of Bob Evans because I wouldn’t buy him candy. Cue end-of-the-world tantrum.

You must not misunderstand me. I love this little dude more than my life. He is usually the sweetest boy. I would do anything to keep him happy. But when he is in the middle of a tantrum it seems like nothing will calm him down. It’s like we have to let him ride it out. It’s maybe ten minutes and then he is his little happy self again.

I feel bad for Brigham. As he often seems to be the source of Landon’s breakdowns. I wish I could say that they are best buds. Brigham wants so much to be just like his big brother. But Landon sometimes seems uninterested in him. Brigham playing with one of his toys or Brigham getting the attention from us can cause a major tantrum. It feels like we stop whatever we’re doing with Brigham in order to deal with Landon. I’m sure Brigham will be just fine. But it still makes me feel bad for him.

Landon can be very emotional. Just like his mama. I understand that three-year-olds don’t yet have the mental capacity to control their emotions all the time. I’m questioning myself though. Am I doing everything I can? Are these tantrums my fault somehow?

And I’d like to know . . . does this get better? Will the tantrums and attitude subside any time soon? Is four-years-old worse or better? Are you laughing at me as I’m as I’m writing this?

I love my Landon so much. This is just a mama venting to other mamas. I know it’s not possible for him to be happy all the time. Just look at this dude. No matter where his range of emotions are he has my heart always.

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Find a New Friend on Kelly’s Korner

Molly — Fri, 04 May 2012 15:39:02 +0000

I don’t do many link-ups but I thought this one from Kelly’s Korner would be fun to try. She is doing a “find a new friend” link up where you post your name and the city you live in. This way, you can meet new blog friends in your area! I am especially excited about this because I would really like to help plan a big Kansas City Blogger Meet-Up. I’ve seen other areas of the country do them and it looks like so much fun. For those new to my blog we do have a KC Blog Facebook page and have regular dinners every month. They are super fun so email me at molly@adayinmollywood.com if you’d like to hear more about it! I think you can click the link and ask to join.

Now a little about me and my fam . . .

I’m Molly. I have two boys. Landon is *almost* four and Brigham just turned two. I live in the Kansas City area and I work full-time for an international non-profit organization. My husband is an RN who is moving up the ranks at a wonderful hospital system.

We enjoy weekends the most when we can be together as a family of four. Summer is my absolute favorite season and I can’t wait for swimming and popcicles and Fourth of July (my fave holiday)!

I have been blogging for more than five years and enjoy the connections and friends I’ve made throughout my blogging journey. Blogging has definitely been a motivator in starting and finishing my novel, which I hope to be done writing by the end of the summer.

If you want to know more about me you can visit my about me page.

Thanks for stopping by, friends! Please leave a comment so I can visit you too!

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My Brigham is 2-years-old

Molly — Wed, 02 May 2012 12:00:44 +0000

You were born in the wee hours of the morning on May 2nd. It was 2:22 a.m. to be exact. It felt as if I had waited forever for you to arrive. Labor began at 7 a.m. the day before. I writhed in pain during the last hours of labor. You, stuck in the wrong position, kept butting your head against my tailbone. I remember breathlessly repeating to anyone who would listen . . . I just want him out. I just want him here. Please God let it end.

I remember pushing so hard for you. Pushing until I felt like my head would explode. I closed my eyes tight on the last push. And then I heard someone say, “Open your eyes, Molly!”

When I did there you were. My beautiful baby boy. I don’t know why but I immediately exclaimed, “There’s my little stinker!”

You were seconds old and I already knew you. I knew your personality. You can definitely be a little stinker sometimes. But we love that about you.

Your first year was not easy. You were sick a lot and had ear tube surgery at only six months due to severe double ear infections. You wheezed and coughed and sneezed for most of your first year. I remember holding you in my arms when you were teeny tiny. I would gently rock you back and forth while you cried uncontrollably. I would lean into you and say, “Mama’s gonna win this battle. Mama always wins.” I knew you needed sleep and I did anything and everything I could to make it happen.

I recall that I once went outside into the black of the night and allowed the singing of crickets to lull you to sleep. It was my idea. And it worked.

But on your first birthday (and consequently the day that we moved to our new house) it was like someone flipped a switch. You slept through the night for the first time ever. You woke up with a huge smile on your face every morning. You no longer wheezed and coughed and sneezed. It was a new year and a new you!

Your personality started to shine. You are so curious. So playful. So spirited. So silly. I knew you would be strong-willed and stubborn at times. That’s how you were born, after all.

But oh, Brigham, how you make us laugh. You do everything your brother does. I know you’re not supposed to be able to do these things yet but you do them anyway. Because that’s who you are. You refuse to be left behind.

At two-years-old you can jump up and down, lunge off of couches and do somersaults. You walk up and down stairs with no support. Pedal a bike with no problem. You seem much older than you are. You can’t stand to feel left out and are a very determined little guy.

You try to repeat everything we say. You just recently started sounding out the alphabet. I feel so much joy when I hear you talk.

When I say, “I love you,” you reply, “too, mama.” My heart soars.

You love anything with wheels and you call police cars and fire trucks “woo-woo” trucks because of the sounds they make when they go by.

You adore reading. Even when I’ve read you five stories you still say, “more books, mama.”

Your newest smile is a crooked one, with teeth showing and cute squinted eyes. It’s your special smile and I love it.

At night, after I lay you in your crib, I lean down and put my arm through the crib slat. I stroke the hair that hangs on your forehead and watch your eyes get heavy. I tell you how special you are and how proud of you I am for all you are learning and doing.

This year with you and your brother has been amazing. I can’t imagine how much more fun we’ll have in the months and years to come.

I thank God every day that I’m the one that gets to wake up with you in my house and in my heart.

Happy second birthday! All the love in the world, my silly little Brigham.

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coming home

Molly — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 12:00:58 +0000

There’s not much I like about spending 40 hours a week away from my children. I work full-time and let me tell ya – when 4:00 rolls around I start getting antsy! By that time I am SO ready to see my kiddos.

Although it sucks to say goodbye in the mornings there is something about working that makes the reunion that much sweeter. Let me tell you what happens when Landon sees me for the first time at daycare. As soon as he spots me come around the door he jumps up, screams mama and lunges into my arms. Brigham’s enthusiam couldn’t be cuter. He shrieks at the top of his lungs, drops whatever he has in his hands and immediately comes running.

It feels so good. So very good to be appreciated like that after a long day. When we get home we snuggle closer, hug tighter and laugh harder. And yes, we dance to the Fresh Beat Band. The funny thing is I’m not sure those 5:00 memories would be made if I weren’t gone all day. It makes me appreciate them that much more.

Sweet post-work snuggles and smiles.

linking up with pour your heart out

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