LiteVi

Your Peace Is More Important Than Your Response

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Fri, 12 Jun 2026 04:47:51 +0000

Your Peace Is More Important Than Your Response

You don’t always need to react

You’re learning that not everything needs an immediate reaction—especially not from you.

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

It is alright to let things go. Sometimes, some people may feel the need to have a say, or win an argument or be right or have an opinion. In this current time, when everyone has a social media page, a podcast mic, a camera phone or access to an audience, it can be tempting to lend a voice to what goes on around you. Some are compelled to do it. Just because we have access does not mean that we should sound off. Likewise, just because we can react does not mean that we should.

I like to work on this concept particularly in altercations or disagreements, especially when one side of the party is getting significantly worked up, whether it is by displaying anger or strong emotions. We have to ask ourselves what the end goal of this argument is. When I walk away from this, what will either of us gain? Sometimes, I find it is not worth it to just be right.

There are times when the other party is purposely trying to get under your skin. They want to engage you, enrage you even. They want a reaction. Our current media landscape is like this. With the media economy set up the way it is, all that matters is the click and how long they can keep you engaged. That’s what pays the bills. That is what gets the brands to spend money and keep the lights on. Of course, that is serious business. So, clickbait and articles that serve to stir up our emotions are the most reactionary and what keep us around longer. It is usually something negative that is designed to trigger a part of us that compels us to engage.

That constant interaction can be exhausting. It requires a respite because we should not constantly have our buttons pressed and emotions fired. It is not healthy and can lead to ongoing stress reactions. When do we decompress? Between the news on television and the information on social media, our senses are always on high alert, and we do not even notice. Talk about being constantly in stress mode. Fight or flight never turns off, and that leads us to hormonal reactions that lead to chronic stress that leads to disease.

So it is okay not to react. It is okay to turn it off. It is okay to allow your mind some time to just be. Stare at the clouds, breathe, doodle, skip, or do whatever frivolous thing that makes your heart smile, even if it is just for a minute.

Is it easy? Absolutely not. Is it necessary? Absolutely yes! Beyond necessary. It is imperative.

Check out some of our related posts

Let Go of The Drama

Release What’s Weighing You Down: Today is a Good Day to Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

In This Moment: Three Steps to get There

Losing You: The Art of Letting Go and Finding Yourself Again

Stress Management in Five

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Love the show? Be sure to like, share, and subscribe wherever you stream podcasts. You can also follow @LiteVi across social media for wellness tips, entertainment commentary, and your weekly drop of happy. www.litevi.com

Rise of the Iron Empress on Pine Drama Recap

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 10:16:04 +0000

Rise of the Iron Empress

Pine Drama

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

Rowan is supposed to pick from three men her father has selected for her to marry. On the day they return from battle, she finds out that the one she actually loves, Zane Kane, loves her servant and is secretly plotting against her. He only wants to marry her to get her title, dowry, and rewards. Then he will force her to accept Elara, and if she doesn’t, he will divorce her. The other two suitors seemed to hate her as well and are on Elara’s side. So even if she doesn’t pick Zane, they won’t marry her, leaving her with no choice. Hurt, Rowan hatches a plan that will turn their worlds upside down while getting her revenge on all of them for their betrayal.

Rowan, overhearing this and her heart breaking, decides to marry the crown prince instead. She secretly tells her father to make the arrangements. Her father objects at first, in fear that she will not be happy because he has heard the prince is cold and may not even like girls. He also says she will not live the life of the Prince’s wife and that he might be ugly because he never shows his face. She emphasizes that her life will not be any better if she marries one of the commoners he has chosen. Little do they know, the Prince is already in love with her. She saved him as a child, and he has loved her ever since.

Zane is rude to her, treating her like she doesn’t have a say in anything and expecting her to be. She comes in to talk to them while they are in the courtyard and we see how arrogant they actually are because they think she has no choice but to marry one of them.

They flash back to how they met Elara. She was a refugee in an enemy camp and was being attacked. Zane saved her, and she pledged her life to him. Ro didn’t agree, but he disregarded her. In the present day, she is doing the good old tactics of playing the victim and making it seem like Ro is abusing her when in truth she is the villain. But Zane believes her, prompting Ro to admit that she regrets ever letting her stay.

Another flashback where Zane is being arrogant and thinking he is saving Elara by taking her servitude document. But it was actually one that registered her to be a courtesan for life. At the time, Ro was trying to do the right thing and get rid of it, but Zane took it without being aware. Ro decided to let things go and see what happens.

Ro says she can’t stay, Zane says she will, and they fight. Zane kicks her.

Ro realizes that Elara was trying to get at her father, the Marshal, and because Zane doesn’t want to believe it, he accuses Rowan of being the promiscuous one. They go on to say that because Ro has been around men in battle, she is out there giving away her cookies instead of being a true troop leader. He believes women can’t truly lead.

The three of them are arrogant and ungrateful for the fact that the Marshal took them in and raised them. Ro tries to tell them that she isn’t going to marry either of them, but they don’t believe her. Zane confessed that he loves Elara and will marry her, and there’s nothing Ro can do about it. He then tells her that when he’s her husband, he will teach her how to behave.

The day of the announcement, they come to arrest Elara because of her true registrations. Elara, Zane and the others continue to spread rumors about her, saying that because she was in the Army, she is the one who has been sleeping around and that she’s jealous of Elara.

Once again, Zane fights her because of Elara. Just as he is about to strike Ro in the face, she is saved by the crown Prince. When the prince gets there, he is upset that they brought a courtesan to the capital. Zane says it was a setup; the authorities say it was not. The prince says fine; he will allow Elara to be Zane’s primary wife. Zane does not want that because he won’t get the same benefits from marrying Ro.

They still think Rowan has to marry one of them, so they continue to talk and act recklessly. They have sworn Elara as their sister, and Zane will be her husband. Ro lets them know in no uncertain terms that they will not get a head connected to a courtsean, especially after the public declarations.

After they officially announce that Rowan is marrying the Prince, everyone is shocked. Zane asks about her father’s army, and she’s like, they have been absorbed into the crown’s military, so the titles Zane, Nathaniel and Ryan have are no longer significant. Checkmate!

Zane is still trying to get his way even in front of the crown prince.

Nathaniel and Ryan have been stripped of their command as Deputy Commanders and will become regular guards. While Zane will retain his command, he will be in charge of security but not lead troops, which is an insult as well.

Prince flirts in the carriage with Rowan before they leave.

Marshall's angry at the three men and has them get 50 lashes. They still disrespect Ro though, and she tells them she is showing them mercy by keeping them alive

Zane still thinks Rowan loves him and is just being difficult to make them yield. Meanwhile, Elara is trying to make the best of her situation. She is showing her true colors as a user and courtesan.

Zane provokes the prince to remove his mask, getting the people involved thinking he has had the upper hand, but the prince is not ugly under the mask at all, like they thought. On the wedding night, Rowan tells the prince that she will keep his secret because she thinks he actually likes men. He clears it up.

Before they can do the do, Rowan gets hungry, and they go on a mission to find food. She changes clothes and looks like a man, so the three stooges think they are going to catch the prince with a guy. Meanwhile, he is basically confessing his love to Rowan and telling her that he will help her go for her dreams.

Prince’s mother is not happy with Rowan, thinking she is not good enough for the prince because there was a report of her talking with Kane. She also had other women select for the Prince to marry but he was never interested. In order to have Ro prove herself, she tasks her with putting on a banquet for her.

During the banquet, Rowan performs for the queen, and they insult her because she is dressed like a man. Zane antagonizes the mother, making her continue to go against Rowan and make disparaging remarks towards her. Rowan faints after her dance. The doctor comes and announces that Rowan is pregnant. Zane still believes that they saw the prince with a man instead of with his wife. His mother also thinks he was with a man, and the baby is not his. Prince tells her that ever since she saved him, he’s been in love with Rowan. And if he wants to cut ties, they can. We never see the mother again.

The three stooges are now plotting to have her miscarry. They get Elara to give her a tonic, and then they hear she was having a miscarriage. Then Zane said she lost the baby because she would mysteriously cause animals to die, and people were to stay away from her as a child. They said since it was her fault, she should be punished and banished. But in truth, she suspected they were up to no good, did not truly drink the tea and didn’t miscarry. They found out it was Elera. She didn’t admit to having accomplishments, and Zane never admitted his part in helping her out. When she realized he was not going to speak up for her, Elara changed her mind and told the truth that Zane was the mastermind.

Elara never really loved Zane. They are banished, and they are killed by bandits. Nathanial and Ryan are stripped of their post completely, became beggars, and ended up with fatal infections and died. Rowan and the Prince have a child together and make political headway by changing some of the old ideals about women in politics and the military. They rule together as a unit.

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When Cutting Your Losses Goes Wrong: Kristy and Demond Scott

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Sun, 31 May 2026 11:49:15 +0000

When Cutting Your Losses Goes Wrong: Kristy and Demond Scott

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

US Weekly recently published that Kristy and Desmond Scott agreed to divorce terms over two months ago. The terms include how they will split the assets, custody of the children, and even how they will communicate on the children’s education. I am sure their lawyers left no stone unturned in order to get the divorce done. However, the article also states from the court documents that, “Ten days after filing, Desomnd, 32, filed an answer to Kristy’s divorce petition with a general denial and requested attorney’s fees, expenses, and costs on March 27th. It appears a motion for trial on merits is scheduled for hearing in July.”

There have been a lot of internet discussions about this couple because those who have followed them were weirdly invested in their relationship. I think there was also a fantastical aspect to their relationship because it looked like they were living the American dream. They were high school sweethearts turned married couple turned popular social media influencers with two beautiful children, a beautiful home, and what looked like a loving relationship.

Our investment in them was the epitome of a “parasocial” relationship activity. So when the news of their separation became public, the internet went absolutely crazy with people picking sides. Some were Team Desmond because they felt that Kristy used him, did not allow him to be his authentic self, and would not let him leave the relationship. Some were Team Kristy because they related to being cheated on. I am team let go of what does not serve you. I am team truth, honesty and values.

They created this internet couple persona together. From many of the comments I read, it seemed that people do not fully understand that although we are seeing aspects of their true personalities, most of what we see is scripted, thought out, and planned. You are not going to get a true first-hand reaction when the camera happens to be strategically placed in the best spot, with the best lighting, every single time. Some of this was performance for their audience, which they agreed upon. At the end of the day, no one truly knows what happened behind those closed doors. However, we do know Kristy filed for divorce because after 11 years of being married, she learned of her husband’s infidelity and staying with him no longer served her well-being or their marriage.

Sometimes we have to know when to cut our losses and leave situations behind, because although we have a strong connection to them, staying in them may actually cause more pain. That is what both of them chose to do. Now, my opinion on this recent revelation from the court documents is: why would Desmond now change what was already agreed upon? They both have money. Kristy does appear to have more because she’s been the main one featured, and it was her social media page namesake. Desmond recently started his Instagram page and has 1.9 million followers, while she has 9.9 million followers, but they worked on her page together. So there has to be some community property asset splitting situation that happens with the money they earned as a unit. After the separation, I do not doubt that her bag did not stop rolling in. His reputation took a hit, but he also gained some traction for those who are Team Desmond.

Point being, his wanting to deny the terms of her petition to ask for “attorney’s fees, expenses, and costs” is only going to prolong the divorce and add to the costs. The only thing I can think of why someone would want to prolong this is because he genuinely does not have the funds to pay in comparison to her.

There’s also a messy part of me that is thinking he is over there with his 1.9 million followers, watching her live her best life on yachts, giving away cars, still being beautiful, and showing more of her authentic self as she travels through this healing journey, and he does not like it. It’s giving you were supposed to crumble, and you did not, so I am going to give you more problems. I am going to extend this divorce situation, ask you to pay these fees that I can’t afford, so you can be stressed out. It’s giving Mary J. Blige Kendu hateration. But that is just the messy side of me that loves a little not-my-drama.

At the end of the day, I do hope they both can amicably, for the sake of the children, go their separate ways and settle this whole thing sooner rather than later. This is an opportunity for Kristy to potentially pivot and grow into herself more and an opportunity for Desmond to do whatever the hell he’s doing over there. Yeah, I am biased. I picked a side in the divorce, can you tell? Lol.

US Kristy and Desmond Scbott Agreed to Divorce Term 2 Months Ago

Are Parasocial Relationships Healthy or Getting Out of Control?

Release What’s Weighing You Down

Let Go of the Drama

Losing You: The art of letting go and finding Yourself Again

Bounce Back Stronger: Five Resilence Tips When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

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And that’s your drop. Take what you need, leave the rest, and move gently into whatever comes next. If you enjoyed this (entertainment, wellness, or shorts & stories) moment, share it with someone who could use a little (Calm, clarity, or joy) today.”

Like, share, subscribe and Live lite and happy

Are Parasocial Relationships Healthy… or Getting Out of Control?

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Fri, 29 May 2026 11:29:43 +0000

Are Parasocial Relationships Healthy… or Getting Out of Control?

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

What is a parasocial relationship? I have to ask because lately, I feel that’s the new buzzword being thrown around. Everyone is talking about the detriment of parasocial relationships brought on by social media. Discourse is particularly intense on social media and reflects society's obsession with celebrities. And I am thinking Duh … are we new here?

So let’s take a look at parasocial relationships through two articles.

Psychology Today’s Parasocial Relationships

Key Highlights

What are parasocial relationships, and why do we form them

Health vs unhealthy parasocial relationships

Do Parasocial Relationships Fill a Loneliness Gap

Key Highlights

Why do we get into parasocial relationships

Pro and cons

Fostering deeper connections

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Divorce Stress Is Real: Gayle King’s Story Hits Hard

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Thu, 28 May 2026 13:14:05 +0000

Divorce Stress Is Real: Gayle King’s Story Hits Hard

Gayle at the Met Gala 2026

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In the list of life's most stressful events, divorce ranks second, right behind the death of a spouse. Now, everything that leads up to that can ramp up the stress meter. In Gayle King’s case, catching her husband cheating red-handed definitely ramped things up a bit. She recently shared during her appearance on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast that she got home and caught her husband fresh out of the shower with someone she thought was a friend.

Not only was Gayle King dealing with the shock of this man, William Bumpus, cheating, but she also had to learn that it was with another person she had some level of trust. They had been married for 11 years and, eventually, they did end up getting a divorce. What got her through that ordeal was reaching out to friends and having people to lean on. Of course, she talked about immediately calling her BFF, Oprah Winfrey, which is what anyone in that situation would do. I am immediately phoning a friend because I may need someone to talk me down from doing something crazy that would only make matters worse.
Divorce can cause a huge impact and the most important thing is that we don’t ignore the effects and seek support like Gayle did to help us through it.

Mental Health America provides some practical tips to cope through seperation and divorce to help decrease stress in Coping with Separation and Divorce

Interestingly enough, these suggestions are what should already be in your toolbox. They are aligned with overall stress management.
Suggestions like:
Allow yourself to have different feelings. It’s OK.
Give yourself a break
Connect with your support network
Don’t let yourself go. Take care of yourself by remembering self-care
Explore your interests
Don’t (well, try not to) engage in power struggle arguments designed to get under your skin
Practice mindfulness
Talk to your children honestly if kids are involved
Maintain routine and stability, especially with your children, as much as you can

The other article from Psychology Today is How to Manage the Big Emotions of Divorce and Stay Calm
Another way to manage your stress is to learn to manage some of the emotions because you will have a lot of them. Losing someone in that way will also trigger grief stages because while they are not physically gone, the future you thought you would have with them is no longer and you will need to mourn that.

The article goes through some of the emotions people may experience, like shock, guilt, grief, anger, fear, and anxiety, to name a few, and makes some suggestions to help progress through them. I will add that you have to go through them. Please do not run away or try to mask them by engaging in habits that cause you to ignore them.

Other tips on what to do when dealing with these varied emotional ups and downs:
Stop, pause and breathe.
Focus on basic healthy habits
Learn to forgive yourself
Learn to love yourself
See a professional for help or counsel
Engage in positive self-talk
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Love the show? Be sure to like, share, and subscribe wherever you stream podcasts. You can also follow @LiteVi across social media for wellness tips, entertainment commentary, and your weekly drop of happy. www.litevi.com

Disclosure Day Fast Approaches: Trailer Reaction

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Thu, 28 May 2026 10:46:57 +0000

Disclosure Day Trailer

Disclosure Day
Release: June 12, 2026
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Coleman Domingo, Emily Blunt, Colin Firth, Eve Hewson, Wyatt Russel, and Josh O’Connor
Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

The trailer for this new Steven Spielberg-directed sci-fi film has garnered over 31 million views since its release 2 months ago, and I am intrigued. Where are my science fiction movie lovers at? Better yet, where are my alien conspiracy theorists at? The fact that the cast is an ensemble of phenomenal actors who really commit to their performance is already exciting. I am trying not to have to high expectations so I do not get too disappointed. However, I have to say, the trailer is making it hard not to expect this movie to be phenomenal.

With the first piano note and then “What did you steal?” I am locked in. Then he says, ‘secrets!” Oh, I am sat. Then it cuts to a high-tech facility where you see Colin Firth’s character walking through. The accompanying music is a character in itself because it has already had me on the on the edge. Then it cuts to the “thief” in an alien crop circle forming around him. Then back to him and his girlfriend looking at a screen, and she asks, “Are they people?” Before he answers, there’s a tense pause, and he says, “No.”

This is all in the first 30 seconds. I am there. Next, the trailer highlights that this is a Steven Spielberg production, and we hear Emily Blunt’s character’s cheery voice as she reports on the morning weather. This is when I know she is going to bring it because she starts acting funny, like she is unable to breathe or speak and proceeds to speak in some alien-sounding language. It cuts to a scene of different people in the nation watching, wondering what’s going on. Back to the couple, and the thief is tells his girlfriend that he can understand the alien gibberish. Now, of course, you cannot have a good alien conspiracy cover-up movie without the reporter who’s trying to expose everything, enters Coleman Domingo, who is emphasizing how “people are starved for the truth.” The trailer goes on to show various intriguing scenes, including short action sequences where Emily Blunt’s character and the thief, a potential whistleblower played by Josh O’conner’s, are running from dangerous attempts on their lives.

Now what I found interesting was that although the “aliens” are naturally assumed to be the villain, it’s not blatant that they are. That, of course, could just be my warped brain. Additionally, I don’t know if everyone is starved for the truth. I think most people want to be oblivious and live their lives undisturbed. From what I have witnessed in our political climate over the past few years, people want what comforts them. So in this vein, the “aliens and evil government might not be wrong. Check out the trailer yourself and share your thoughts. I am ready for June 12th to come around to check this one out.

https://www.disclosuredaymovie.com/

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Welcome to Shorts & Stories: Quick Escapes for Your Mind

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Wed, 27 May 2026 05:17:25 +0000

Welcome to Shorts & Stories: Quick Escapes for Your Mind

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

Introducing Shorts and Stories

What are Shorts and Stories?

My new obsession

Books (audio and physical also featuring Pocket FM)

Micro-dramas aka Shorts

Get to the Library or use Libby

Pocket FM, Libby,

Ranks my least to most favorite

Galatea TV
GoodShort
Kalos TV
LiteTV
Sereal+
ShortMax
DramaBox
ReelShort

New player PineDrama TV

Subscribe to the show on your favorite streaming platform

Seven Days in June by Tia Williams Book Review

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Sun, 24 May 2026 20:37:36 +0000

Seven Days in June by Tia Wialliams Book Review

Author Tia Williams

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Seven Days in June by Tia Williams is a contemporary romance novel about two people who have seemingly successfully survived their dysfunction. It follows the life of Eva and Shane who have become successful writers after creating characters based off each other.

When you fall off your reading game

About Tia Williams

Perfect Find now a movie on Netflix starring Gabrielle Union

Book Summary: After a trauma bonding week of making love, Shane disappears from Eva’s life and shows up years later to shake everything up again.

Rating 7/10

Managing an invisible disability

Toxic mamma

Tia Williams Books

Love, Wine, and New Beginnings: My You, Me & Tuscany Review

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Thu, 21 May 2026 05:08:55 +0000

Love, Wine, and New Beginnings: My You, Me & Tuscany Review

You, Me and Tuscany

Will Packer Production

Released: April 2026

Director: Kat Coiro

Starring: Halle Bailey, Regé-Jean Page, Aziza Scott, Lorenzo de Moor, Marco Calvani, Nia Vardalos (did a cameo), and Stella Pecollo

Available: Streaming

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

You, Me and Tuscany is now available to rent on streaming platforms. The romantic comedy theater debut met with a tepid reception in April. The box office performance was disappointing to say the least, with the charming rom-com pulling in 22 million worldwide as of early May.

I have seen it in the theaters twice, and if I had the time before it was out, I would have seen it more. I thoroughly enjoyed it because it was light and cute and funny and a pleasure to watch. Now, I am partial to rom-coms. I expect their predictability and appreciate the happy ending.

What do you do when your life is falling apart? That was the situation that both Anna and Michael faced after losing loved ones, and each faced it very differently.

You, Me and Tuscany follows Anna, played by Halle Bailey, as she navigates her life after losing her mother. The film stars Regé-Jean Page, Aziza Scott, Lorenzo de Moor, Marco Calvani, Nia Vardalos (did a cameo), and Stella Pecollo. I loved the chemistry the cast had together. They were fun and heartwarming.

Now, I loved this movie, but, again, I am extremely biased. First, I love anything with a romance spin. So this being a romance is right up my alley. I also am a big Halle Bailey fan. Some say there is nothing special about this movie compared to other romance films. It received 66% from Rotten Tomatoes and 6.2 from IMDb, which is pretty accurate. My rating is about an 8 because, to me, there was just something wonderful about it.

The pacing worked very well for me. The comedic timing of the cast was spot on, especially Francesca, played by Pecollo. The acting was romcom acting. I also loved the setting. It was bright and airy and inviting. Book me a flight to Tuscany!

Spoiler alert

The movie follows Anna, who, after losing her mom, gave up on all of her dreams, which included cooking and going to Tuscany. She is working as a house sitter and lost her most recent gig because she took liberties with the owner's clothes. She is floating. The only one remotely keeping her grounded is her best friend, Clair. One night after getting fired, she meets Mateo, and they kick it out. They talk all night and vibe. He tells her all about his home in Tuscany and why he left. He also tells her about his villa that is left unattended. She gets invited for a nightcap, but Mateo ends up falling asleep and nothing happens.

The encounter does inspire her, though, and she ends up spontaneously going to Tuscany without any plans. This is where all the shenanigans start. Listen for a full recap and discussion.

Today is a Good day to Renew yourself: A Fresh Mind. A Fresh Spirit. A Fresh Start

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Mon, 18 May 2026 23:51:43 +0000

Today is a Good day to Renew yourself

Just as trees shed their leaves in winter and renew themselves, the mind can shed its prejudices, barriers and renew itself. - Radha Burnier

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

Every day is a day to renew yourself, your thoughts, your behaviors, and your focus. Truth be told, I feel like I am doing just that regularly. Consistency and focus are my Achilles’ heel. I envy people who seem to have it more together than I do, but then I remember to turn that energy inwards so that I can work on myself. I have been writing about the need to stay focused and get refocused for as long as I can remember. It is not something that will ever go away.

The reality is, we have to be comfortable with the need to refresh and revisit. Just as nature goes through cycles, so do we, while some of us may have shorter refocus cycles than others, that too is alright. I think the thing that can easily get away from us is realizing that we actually need to take a step back, take that breath, and actually pause, reflect and refocus.

We probably do it in small doses on a daily basis, but sometimes we need to take bigger steps back. This is why practicing mindfulness and grounding activities and working on stress management is important because it all works together to keep us on the right course.

So, just revisit one of the articles or shows I have posted before that may help us.

When Doing IT All Goes Wrong: 5 Life Balance Tips to Get Back on Track

Finding Focus: Today is a Good Day to Believe in Yourself Again

Collect Experiences, Not Stress — That’s Where Living Begins

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Wed, 06 May 2026 03:17:00 +0000

Collect Experiences, Not Stress — That’s Where Living Begins

Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. –Rabindranath Tagore

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This is a beautiful way of saying enjoy the journey. This is a poetic way of saying count it all joy. This is saying seize the day. This is saying everything is a lesson. As I move through life and gain wisdom along with every strand of gray hair, I am learning to embrace this more and more. Really, I am learning to understand it more and more. As the world gets smaller through 6 degrees of separation and social media and avalanches of information from around the world and headlines meant to pull and tug at our emotions, the one thing that is unchanged, no matter where we are or what we are going through, is that the sun is going to rise and set. Life is going to keep on keeping on. Everything is going to keep on moving. Understanding and appreciating how everything contributes to the flavor of life will help us handle the ups and downs.

This quote is a lovely way of slightly altering a cliché that, when we truly think about it, hits home. When we take the time to try to change our mindset towards the things that happen to us, we may be able to better handle the things that happen to us. The universe and its workings are beyond our grasp at times. How everything, creation, destruction, and everything in between fits and somehow works, and where it doesn’t, the world shifts to make necessary adjustments that we cannot begin to fathom, is awe-inspiring. For many, this is where a deity (God or any other) comes in to help us pull it all together, from some of the marvels of science, and yet for some, simple acceptance. Nevertheless, putting this into perspective and realizing that no matter what, at the end of the day, experience is living, and everything contributes to our tapestry of life. How can we grow and live life to the fullest is to collect experiences and not stress. That’s where living begins.

Today is a good day to collect experiences.

The Magic of Learning From Your Experiences

Michael Absolutely Worth the Watch

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Sun, 26 Apr 2026 23:12:00 +0000

Michael Movie

Released: April 2026
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Starring: Jaafar Jackson, Colman Domingo, Nia Long, Kendrick Sampson, Larenz Tate, Derek Lik, Laura Harrier, Miles Teller, Juliano Krue Valdi, and Keilyn Durrel Jones
In theaters
Loved it! The movie was over, and the whole audience in the theater just sat there waiting for more.
Great casting
Make-up artist
Rating 10/10

Headlines and Haters
The movie stopped in 1988
Black or White video 1991
1994 settlement after 1993 accusations
Court Case 2005
Why didn’t we get to see about the accusations and the settlement
GQ article Yes, Michael Really Ends Like That

Today Is a Good Day to Talk About Your Joys (Yes, Yours Matter)

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 16:00:00 +0000

Today is a good day to talk about our joys!

Talk happiness. The world is sad enough

Without your woe. No path is wholly rough.

― Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

Today is a good day to be positive. I am not talking about ignoring our problems or propagating toxic positivity. I am talking about thinking of the good things in life, having a different perspective and practicing gratitude.

I do love that quote from Ella Wheeler Wilcox because she is basically saying yeah life is rough but it’s not only rough. There are moments of joy and happiness that will carve out for ourselves. We have a habit of talking about our woes and pushing our woes. That’s why click bait is so popular because it tugs on our emotions and the more negative the better.

Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about our joys. — Rita Schiano

I really like to vent. No. I feel like I need to vent sometimes. The only times I talk about my joys are when I am praying and when I am venting because I preface my vent by saying I have all these great things but ... and I vent on. Talking about our joys makes better sense. It releases positive energy. So my goal is less venting and more joy talking. Seems simple enough. Speak out loud. What are you joyful for?

Originally Published April 16, 2025

Updated with new qoutes and thoughts.

The Drama Review: A Hard Lesson—Everyone Isn’t in Your Corner

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Sun, 05 Apr 2026 20:32:00 +0000

The Drama Review: A Hard Lesson—Everyone Isn’t in Your Corner

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The Drama starring Zendaya, Robert Pattinson, and Mamoudou Athie dropped in theaters, and to be honest, I was not too excited about seeing it. Zendaya notwithstanding. However, I am glad I did.

Lesson learned: Some people only care about themselves and do not always have your back

Rating 8/10

Spoilers 9:30 marker

America's Next Top Model Reality Check: Is Natalie Nunn better than Tyra Banks?

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 02:29:00 +0000

America's Next Top Model Reality Check: Is Natalie Nunn better than Tyra Banks?

After finally watching America’s Next Top Model documentary, Reality Check: Inside America’s Next Top Model, I have concluded that Natalie Nunn is better than Tyra Banks. Hold up, wait a minute. Let’s get into it before everyone attacks me from all directions.

7/10 for the three-episode documentary.

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

Know your Values

Article: Stressed Out? Activate Your Core Values for Real Relief and Resilience

Is Trya Banks a crappy person?

Does she know who she is?

Natalie Nunn > Tyra Banks

Not another America’s Next Top Model Cycle

Wuthering Heights: A Bold Take on a Legendary Love Story

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Sat, 14 Mar 2026 13:49:00 +0000

Wuthering Heights: A Bold Take on a Legendary Love Story

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

Did you all know about the controversy?

Why I know nothing about the movies or previous adaptations

About the Movie: Release, cast, critic, Box Office

Review: Listen to why I gave it a 9.5.

Recap and Spoilers

You are Your Only Limit

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 06:26:00 +0000

Oftentimes, there are things we want to do. There are places we want to go. There are goals we want to accomplish that may seem unattainable. Sometimes, when we look at the situation we are in, all those things seem dang near impossible. I get that. How can we dream bigger when we are caught up in just trying to survive, or trying to get through the day or battling health concerns or consumed with worry about what loved ones are going through? Sometimes, it never seems like the right time.

Catalyst

All the

reasons we can

breath, light, night, fight, flight, foresight

surging through us, propelling us

forward

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

How do others do it? How do they overcome? How do they make it look easy? First, I think we should acknowledge that regardless of what success we think we see, everyone has their own personal battles, and although they make it look easy, for them it probably was not. Basically, let’s get out of their business and get back into our own because everyone has their own trials and burdens to bear. But what can we do for ourselves if we are in the pits?

The only limit is you. The only limit is ourselves. The only limit is how big or small we can dream. It sounds impactful, but I want us to take it a step further and make it impactful. I want us to translate that into positive action for our lives. The only way to do that is to change our mindset. To shift it away from all the reasons we cannot to all the reasons we can.

The Power of Mindset

Shifting Mindsets

Are You Ready for Matrix 5?

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Sun, 08 Mar 2026 06:22:47 +0000

The Matrix movies are probably my all time favorite sci-fi movies. I was super excited when they announced a reboot, Matrix Resurrection. However, Matrix 4 was mid. Now they want to attempt a Matrix 5. Ugh ... I'm not feeling it. I want to feel it but sometimes well enough needs to be left alone. At this point I don't even remember what Matrix 4 was about. But I do remember giving it a 7 and if they bring back Wonder Man, I may still watch. I'm lying, I'll watch anyway. Are you ready for another Matrix?

Matric Resurrection Review

Bridgerton Season 4 Part 2: Was It Worth the Wait?

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Wed, 04 Mar 2026 12:43:00 +0000

Bridgerton Season 4 Part 2

Bridgerton Season 4 Part 2 was finally released on Netflix with four more episodes. After binging it, I don’t know how I feel about this season. It definitely did not dethrone Season 2 (Anthony and Kate) as my favorite, but I am not sure where it would land. I have to watch the season again to make that decision.

For now, my hierarchy remains the same:

The Viscount Who Loved Me (Season 2, Anthony and Kate).
The Duke and I (Season 1, Daphne and Simon).
Romancing Mister Bridgerton (Season 3, Colin and Penelope)
An Offer from a Gentleman (Season 4, Benedict and Sophie)

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

Anthony and Kate did make an appearance for season 4, but if you blinked, you would have missed them. In part 2, my favorite happenings were Hyacinth, Lady Danbury, and the Queen. It was a cute season but a little disappointing because Araminta seemed to have gotten off light versus how she was treated in the books. She did not catch enough smoke for my liking. Everything else was on point as usual. These are vets by now, so the acting was solid, and I enjoyed the other characters' subplots.

Let’s discuss, or if you have no intentions to watch, let me spoil it for you.

Spoilers ahead

Part one ended with Benedict making what he thought was a wonderful offer to Sophie for her to be his mistress. Part 2 starts with him being confused about how he went wrong. Mondrich clues him in that no woman wants to feel cheap and offering to keep Sophie as his mistress without any talk of love did just that. They do squeeze quite a bit of activity into this season. Penelope wants to stop being Whistledown, but the Queen says no at first. Francesca is attempting to come to terms with having Michaela around because it disturbs her and John's routine. The Queen is coming to terms with being alone since Lady Danbury wants to leave, and now Penelope wants to stop writing Whistledown. Araminta is stealing maids.

Benedict makes love to Sophie, and she immediately regrets it. She spends some time worrying about being pregnant, and when she finds out she is not, she makes a plan to leave for America, especially since her original plan to work for the new Lady Penwood, none other than Cressida, falls through, and she learns Araminta is close on her heels to get her arrested for “stealing” shoe clips. Before she can leave, Araminta finds her and has her arrested for not only stealing the clips but also impersonating nobility. Eventually, with the help of Alice Mondrich, they devise a plan to solve the situation. This is after the Bridgertons get Sophie released to their custody.

Sophie, with the help of Eloise (since Lady Penwood is Cressida and they had a friendship) visit the Penwood home to search for her father’s will. She finds it and learns that he did care for her. He left money for Araminta to care for her, and also left her and Posy and Rosamund a dowry, which she realized that Araminta had stolen. At the Penwood ball, Benedict, Violet, and Sophie corner Araminta and her daughters to inform her that they know she stole the money. They pressure her into making up a family relation to legitimize Sophie’s connection to nobility and negate her illegitimate status so she and Benedict can actually marry. Araminta begrudgingly agrees.

Benedict and Sophie- They finally end up together and are cute. Sophie is a tough cookie but not annoyingly so. She was justified in her feelings and actions. She realized that she had to look out for herself the best way she knew how.

Lady Violet Bridgerton- She and Marcus had a nice thing going on until they did not. There were a couple of moments when Violet started reminiscing not only about the love she and her husband shared but also about the girl she used to be. She decides that she does not want to marry Marcus right away because she wants to continue to enjoy that person. My thing with that is, I would have better understood it if she had recently been widowed, like a few years, but it has been ample time, and she has lived on her own. Sure, she has had the children, but when hasn’t she? Marcus would have allowed her to be who she is. I was actually proud of him because he did not waste time after peeping her game. He was not going to let her keep him as her plaything and then never follow through with getting married.

Lady Danbury and the Queen- I thoroughly enjoyed them together. I do not know if this is the last we will see of them together. Rumors and speculations hint that there could be another season of Queen Charlotte, which might be the only way to see them together again. The writers and the acting definitely made it feel like the end of an era.

Francesca, John, and Micheala- It was a little rough at first as Francesca was trying to adjust to having Micheala around. And I have to say that I did not blame her. They had just gotten to a good place, and here comes this cousin messing with their vibe. On the flip side, it was good for her as she got to see John in a different light and he got to see her lighter side, and Micheala had a way of bringing that out. Francesca was eventually able to build a friendship with her after trying to hook her up with a gentleman. Unfortunately, the happy time was short-lived as John passed away. I was not happy about how this was playing out in part one but feel as though they did it justice in part 2. They were able to show how much John and Francesca loved each other and how much that relationship meant to her. I am not sure what the ending means because in the book Micheala is Michael, and he and Francesca end up together for her own book. At the end of part 2, Micheala ends up leaving when things seem to get a little too cozy for her. Are they going to find a long-lost relative that’s actually a Michael?

Hyacinth and Eloise- Hyacinth had a recital where she got her first reality check that some guys are just clueless. Then, when John died, she totally lost it. Coming to terms with death at such a young age can be a hard thing, especially for someone who is not only naive but also so idealistic as Hyacinth. Some of that innocence died during this season. She was hopeful, but then destroyed at how people can find love and it gets snatched away without any rhyme or reason. Eloise, even though they had their differences, was there to support her and love on her the best way she could have. I also like how they touched on her releasing some of her jaded views on love, which is a nice setup for her story that may be the next season.

Lady Whistledown- Well, Penelope is out, but a new mystery writer has released a copy. Who could it be?

Listen to the show for more details.

Release What’s Weighing You Down: Today is a Good Day to Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Thu, 05 Feb 2026 12:46:00 +0000

Release What’s Weighing You Down: Today is a good day to let go of what no longer serves you.

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It is a good day to let go of what no longer serves you. There are times when we not only get stuck in life, but we can also get stuck on people, things, or ideas that we once held dear but have since lost their luster. Sometimes the reality of a thing no longer aligns with the fantasy we have built in our heads. It is no longer serving us or maybe it never was, and we have been waiting for it to meet our expectations, but it, they, whatever keeps failing us or it has run its course. At some point, we have to recognize when it is time to let go and know that it is okay. Letting go is an important aspect of stress management. Learning to let go is a gateway to peace. Peace of mind and peace of spirit.

Article: How to Let Go of What You Can't Control

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Dearest Reader… Bridgerton Season 4 Has Us Blushing, Gasping, and Replaying Scenes

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 13:42:00 +0000

Dearest Reader… Bridgerton Season 4 Has Us Blushing, Gasping, and Replaying Scenes

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Bridgerton season 4 is now out on Netflix. It's only the first 4 episodes. The next 4 episodes will air on February 26. This is the story of Benedict and Sophie, and it is a Cinderella affair. Now I already told y'all my favorite is season 2 with Anthony and Kate. I don't believe Anthony and Kate are returning for this season because they opted to go to India with Kate's family, where she will have the baby. So we won’t be seeing them this season, and I don't believe we'll be seeing Daphne this season either. However, I do like that we get to see more Hyacinth. I am excited for her story now because she is showing a little spunk and personality. Again, this story is about Benjamin, and it's a Cinderella-type story where Sophie is being mistreated by her evil stepmother. She finds herself falling in love with Benjamin, but because she's a maid, that relationship would be a scandal.

Other happenings this year are Penelope navigating being out in the open as Whistledown, the Gossip Queen, and how she has to deal with pressures from the Queen. What I really like about this season is less about the couple and more about the peripheral stories that we get, like the Queen and Mrs. Danbury; what's going on with John and Franchesca; and, of course, with Mama Bridgerton, Violet, and Marcus, where Mama Bridgerton is finally gonna get her garden tended to. Of course, we cannot forget about the Penwood introduction, which is Sophie's family. So it's Sophie, her stepmother and the two sisters; and in true Cinderella fashion, one of the sisters is really cruel while the other is a little dimwitted but sweet and kind-hearted. Now it has been a while since I read the book, so parts are a little fuzzy. However, I do remember that Sophie was treated extremely poorly in the book as well.

Before we get into the spoilers, if I had to rank them, my ranking would be:

The Viscount Who Loved Me (Season 2, Anthony and Kate).
The Duke and I (Season 1, Daphne and Simon).
Romancing Mister Bridgerton (Season 3, Colin and Penelope)
This would be season 4, but it can always get flipped depending on how the next four episodes go.

The redeeming qualities for season four are that I can never get enough of a Cinderella love story, and the subplots are just as interesting as the main story. Also, the behind-the-scenes with the servants was reminiscent of Downtown Abby, which I also thoroughly enjoyed.

So we already know that Benedict is a rake, which is, in other words, a hoe. Get it, rake- hoe LOL. They do remind us that he's bi as well. If you thought that escapade he had last season was a one-time thing, we were reminded in the first episode that he is a lover boy of both sexes. He likes them all, and then he's a freak, got a different girl or a guy every day of the week. The first episode starts with Violet shifting her focus to Benedict settling down. Violet tells him that he has to attend her ball as it is important because it is the first ball of the season. This gives us a hint that something is up with Mrs. Danbury, who is not doing the first ball of the season, and she has handed it over to Lady Bridgerton. She decides to take the helm by throwing a masquerade ball. This is where Benedict first sets eyes on his Cinderella and gets his breath taken away by her innocence and wonderment. They dance, and she runs away at the stroke of midnight. The Queen also attends the ball, but she is bored and chooses not to select a diamond. Instead, she wants to select a bachelor. She ends up selecting Benedict. Personally, I think she purposely does this so it can be more challenging for her. She is constantly bored and finds ways to keep herself entertained. I wonder if it is entertainment she seeks or a distraction from losing her husband to “madness”. The Queen wagers with Penelope that Benedict will wed.

Benedict- He is the most bashful and adorable hoe I have watched.

Lady Danbury- She is tired of London and wants to return home to see her family. She tells the Queen in the most respectful and heartfelt way that she can. She informs her that they will remain friends, but she wants to leave for a time. The Queen refuses her. She ends up getting upset and giving the Queen the silent treatment, which worries Brimsley because the Queen is now clearly depressed. Lady Danbury returns to the Queen’s side after a heartfelt exchange when the Queen reveals that she doesn’t want to be left alone. Lady Danbury comes up with a plan to get her a new lady-in-waiting who will challenge her and be more of a friend, eventually. Enters Alice Mondrich, who is offended and upset by the proposition.

Lady Violet Bridgerton- This season, Violet is not only concerned about getting her children married but also about getting her garden tended to. Marcus is ready and willing, and by the end of episode four, she is his tea.

Penelope and Colin- Colin is just background noise at this point. Penelope, on the other hand, is feeling trapped and under a microscope with the Queen wanting advance tidbits about her Whistledown publication. She is also navigating her married life with Colin and her relationship with the siblings.

Eloise- This season, she is as annoying as ever, and I mainly feel this way because she is being mean to her sister, Hyacinth. As usual, Eloise does not want to be part of the marriage mart, but Hyancinth does and cannot wait to come out for the season. She is into all the etiquette classes and learning everything. Eloise spends the entire time bemoaning herself and being a party pooper when Hyancith is just excited to hang out with her sister. She eventually sets Eoloise in her place by calling her selfish because she never wants to take the time to engage with her little sister. She would rather listen to whom she thinks is the maid, Sophie, than her little sister.

Franchesca and John- I am not a fan of how they are handling this story. Again, being a fan of the book sometimes takes adjusting to some things. I was ready to roll with what they were going to do with her and Michaela, but then they are making it seem like she is not really/fully inlove with John because whenever Michaela is around Frenchesca has some sort of not-to-subtle reactions. Not to mention that she had not yet found her pinnacle during sex. I am sure this is something they will work on.

Continue listening on your favorite streaming platform!

Adrenaline-Pumping Madness: A Primate Movie Review

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 11:21:00 +0000

Primate is out. I have not experienced that much stress and anxiety since I watched Train to Busan. The way this movie had me on the edge of my seat for most of the time was ridiculous. That chimpanzee was absolutely diabolical.

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I don't know these people. I don't know a single actor, but you know, horror movies usually introduce us to new actors. And these folks might have been, in other things. I just don't know them, so they were all new to me. Regardless, I always like to give these actors a shout-out because they worked hard to land that role and bring the characters to life. The main character, Johnny Sequoyah backed up by Jessica Alexander, Miguel Hernando Torres Umba (Ben), Victoria Wyant, Troy Kostur, Gia Hunter, and Benjamin Cheng.

Primate is a horror movie released in 2025 by Paramount Pictures, from director Johannes Roberts. The movie is about a smart-as-heck pet chimpanzee that gets Rabies and wilds out. That is the basic premise. But oh my, so much more happens. The acting starts out basic but really intensifies in some parts, so for what they had to do, it was pretty good. I have to say the actor who played Ben did his thing for sure. The setting in Hawaii was absolutely beautiful. I felt they did a wonderful job of showcasing the beauty of the island while also having the location of the home be a key part of the story. That home was absolutely gorgeous. Personally, I would not want to live in such an isolated place though. Now, the cinematography was well done, from capturing the landscape to capturing Ben’s antics to, at times, pulling the audience in. That was definitely a nod to the direction provided. The pacing was just right. Once the groundwork was laid and the story took off, it was a wild ride with very brief moments to catch your breath. Were there some plot holes? Of course there were. Were there some blatant plot advancement activities? Duh … all in all, those did not take away too much from the film. The inclusion of the hearing disability was appreciated because it was not made to be a gimmick. He was a regular dad who happened to be deaf, taking care of his children. Actually, he wasn’t a regular dad; he was a very successful author dad who also had to deal with the family dynamics of being a provider and catering to the demands of his career. They did not make a caricature of him being deaf.

Vibe Check: It is going to stress you out, but in a weird, satisfying way. My overall takeaway is to never give up, even when a rabid chimpanzee is after you.

Rating: 8/10

Spoilers Ahead

The movie starts out with a scene of a man going into an enclosure to see about a chimp, but he is attacked before he can actually check the chimp. The next scene is with Lucy and her best friend, Kate, on a plane. Lucy is flying back home to see her family for the summer. Kate invites Hannah for the summer as well. They end up flirting with some guys and exchanging numbers. They get picked up at the airport by Kate’s brother, whom Lucy has a crush on. At the house, they all get acclimated, and we get a glimpse of the family dynamics. Lucy is upset that her father has to go away for work. Erin, Lucy’s sister, is upset with Lucy because she hasn’t come home to visit more often. Ben, the pet chim,p is a fun distraction for everyone, although Hannah is freaked out. Before Adam, Lucy’s and Eirn’s father leaves, he notices that Ben has been bitten by a mongoose and touches base with the vet to come check on Ben. He also sends the dead mongoose off for testing. He informs the girls and tell them to make sure Ben remains in his enclosure. The vet comes, and a rabid Ben attacks him, kills him, and goes on a killing rampage.

Listen to the full show for more summary and discussion.

If You’ve Been Feeling Off: Today Is a Good Day to Reset & Refocus

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Wed, 21 Jan 2026 12:51:00 +0000

Today is a good day to reset and refocus.

My year started off with a bang. I turned fifty and had a wonderful party with family and friends. I was able to pivot and keep my day job when changes and layoffs were afoot. I was working out and feeling good. I came into the new year with a can-do, can-win attitude. Everything felt great, like things were going the right way, until it didn’t. My body feels ugh. My mind feels muddled, and my attitude is not faring any better. Don’t get me wrong, I am getting through my days. Doing all the things I am supposed to be doing, but yet and still here we are feeling blah.

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Now, I know many of us are out here who are getting through. You are doing all the things and making it look damn good while you are at it. All the while, you are feeling blah. We are feeling blah. That blah feeling can be for a myriad of reasons, right? Health, wealth, and self can all be taking a hit while we are maintaining. This is a normal cycle. It is life’s ups and downs. But I know, like me, we don’t want to stay with this blah feeling, this hamster wheel feeling. Over the years, I have written numerous articles on resetting, and I have compiled a list of them here for your reading pleasure. I think I write so many of them because I might be the expert in the art of getting stuck and unstuck while making it look like I got it all together. Actually, we might all be experts in our own way.

But can it be that we are fatigued with doing all the things? Especially now, with so much information entering our brains every day. There is just too much social fodder and turmoil to process. This can lead to a level of fatigue that goes beyond physical. Let’s talk about cognitive fatigue. Cognitive fatigue has been described as mental exhaustion, burnout, or brain fog. Brain fog really shouldn’t be synonymous because it is a collection of symptoms that one experiences when they have cognitive fatigue. It is more widely known so often used to describe cognitive fatigue. It is the tiredness of the mind. The problem is that we don’t always recognize it.

Mary West, in her Medical News Today article, What to know about cognitive fatigue, describes it as “the deterioration in the ability to think effectively and maintain focus. Just like physical fatigue, prolonged mental activity can cause tiredness that affects the mind.” Tiredness that affects the mind can cause issues with problem-solving, memory, and even impact our ability to learn new information. Things just don’t stick when we are mentally drained. In the article “How to ‘Unfry’ Your Brain,” Crystal Raypole describes cognitive exhaustion as feeling out of touch with your emotions, feeling overwhelmed, or even feeling run down. “You might also experience other changes in mood or emotions. Cynicism, apathy, lack of motivation, and trouble focusing can all be signs of an overworked brain.”

Brain fog is a collection of cognitive impairment symptoms that can also be caused by cognitive fatigue. Cleveland Clinic lists things one might experience with brain fog:

Difficulty concentrating or focusing
Confusion
Fatigue
Forgetfulness
Losing your train of thought
Mental exhaustion
Not having the right words
Slow thought process and reaction time
Trouble paying attention

And I personally like to simplify all of these things by saying I feel blah, and there are a lot of things that can contribute to feeling blah. Life, lifing and us trying to keep up with it but not taking the time to take care of ourselves. We are trying to meet demands and are not getting enough sleep. Stress has got us in a chokehold, and that in itself can lead to other things in addition to the mental fatigue. West cites other potential causes such as medical conditions, age-related cognitive decline, multitasking, mental health issues, and environmental factors. I like to throw in socioeconomic factors as well.

But how do we get out of the funk? How do we reset, refocus, and rejuvenate? Let's start with a little self-awareness. Take a beat to assess what’s going on with your health, emotions, and feelings. Take a beat to breathe and really see what’s happening around you and with you. What are you giving up to “maintain?” Sleep, eating right, exercising or just small moments to yourself?

The highlight articles all provide great suggestions on how to get back to yourself. Because at the end of the day, that’s really what we have been missing. We have been taking away little bits of ourselves to meet the demands set before us, and we are not replenishing. Stress management is having a level of awareness of our depletion and then being mindful enough to refill our cup. Sometimes we can do that in the most basic of ways.

Ways to deal with cognitive fatigue:

Improving sleep habits
Improving our diet by eating healthy meals
Getting active and moving that body
Journaling
Get help whether it’s for medical or mental. Don’t be afraid to see a professional
Check in with a friend, and have confidence to talk to
Practice kindness and gratitude
Be more mindful
Get balanced
Just say no sometimes
Do something new, change up the routine
Prioritize your wellbeing

References Articles

What to know about cognitive fatigue

How to ‘Unfry’ Your Brain

The Neurobiology of Cognitive Fatigue and Its Influence on Effort-Based Choice

LiteVi Articles about Resetting

LiteVi Articles about Refocusing

Ryan Davis: When Trying to be Deep Goes Wrong

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Tue, 20 Jan 2026 01:28:00 +0000

The Ryan Davis situation, with him appearing on Club Shay Shay and discussing his daughter in the light that he did, is an example of when trying to be too deep goes wrong. I get it because there have been viral moments out of Club Shay Shay; Davis was hoping to create and capitalize on his turn. Unfortunately, this viral moment came at the expense of his daughter.

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

So if y'all don't know, Ryan Davis is a comedian, and he has recently funded his own comedy special. Part of his promotion for said special is to make media appearances, and Club Shay Shay was his most recent stop. I don't know if. Shannon Sharp is not taking any journalism courses or lessons on his own. If Sharpe is not, he really should look into it because his behaviour and interviewing skills are not giving journalism. He is not a journalist. He is not a coach. He is not a therapist. He is not anything with any credentials.

Where this comes into play for me is Sharp’s conduct. What people are not talking about is how he did not have the wherewithal to steer the conversation towards a more productive and constructive outcome. It is also concerning because he went on to post an extremely clickbaity post and appeared to give zero forethought to posting a picture of that man’s underage child.

That, in my opinion, signifies a lack of professionalism, a lack of media knowledge, and a lack of basic child development, which in this case is material to the conversation.

Ryan Davis also exploited his own emotions for clicks and likes as well. To provide a brief summary, he basically relayed that at one point, his daughter saw him more as an ATM machine than as her daddy. He, in essence, said one day she’s a daddy’s girl, and the next day she’s a mini gold digger. And here I am (and the rest of the internet) thinking he must be talking about his grown 20-something daughter. But he was not. He was talking about his 11-year old child.

Now, he did go on to say that he felt like he contributed to the turn because he did not spend enough time with her, and so he then made it a point to spend more time with the children. The issue that I have with this is that although he identified the problem of needing to spend more time with her, he framed it in an adultification reference to his daughter, which also highlighted his lack of understanding of basic child development. People are saying we are missing the context, but we are not. If you are working a lot and not spending time with your children, that will have an effect on your children in some way, shape, or form, and you, as a parent, need to course-correct. That's not rocket science.

The conversation put his ignorance and bias on full display because there's just a basic lack of knowledge about adolescent growth and development. Heck, did he even talk to other parents? Children get to an age where they will ask and ask and ask without any thought to a parent’s capabilities or feelings. They do this whether you are a full-time or part-time parent. This is where the teaching moments are built in. My daughter once thought that we HAD to do Black Friday shopping because the commercials said so. She had a list. That is what they do. They reach a point when they're just gonna ask you for stuff. It seems to me that part of the problem was that he was projecting his feelings of inadequacy and insecurity about not being as present as a father as he would have liked to be onto her. Instead of internalizing those feelings and taking a moment of reflection, he adultified his daughter. He really put it on a child because, again, the way he was talking, you would think that maybe she was in her mid-twenties. No, it's a 10 to 11-year-old child.

A parent is supposed to provide for their child’s needs, whether you're present or not. I give him kudos for choosing to be more present. But the fact that he even said that she sees him as an ATM is absolutely crazy to me. It does not compute because ask and ask is what they are going to do. You could be down to your last 50 cents, and they're going to ask you for something that costs 40. Hopefully, the increase in Davis’s presence will provide the opportunity for him to teach her about money, about being grateful, about not being selfish. These are lessons children are supposed to learn through parental interactions and instruction.

Finding Focus: Today is a Good day to Believe in Yourself Again

WMTOBY@GMAIL.COM (Wanda Toby) — Thu, 30 Oct 2025 05:09:00 +0000

Finding Focus: Today is a Good Day to Believe in Yourself Again

What’s on the show: Where have I been? Are you in a rut? Let's get unstuck. Article: How to be Growth-Oriented When You Feel Beaten Down

It's a good day to believe in yourself again.

Listen below now or on your favorite streaming platform!

Every so often, more than I would like, I fall off my game. The plan not only goes sideways, but it gets completely lost. This happens when an unexpected turn of events interrupts the daily happenings. I get distracted, and then I just stop. I think we have learned to do what is necessary to keep going while cutting off those pursuits that bring us joy or invigorate us or bring us closer to a goal. The chase has come to an end, and we may not even realize or even understand why. It is like we go into our own version of survival mode.

I may be dramatizing what my version of losing focus looks like, but stagnation is worth a little bit of drama. This is something we all go through when “life lifing” catches us off guard. With everything going on in the world and the constant bombardment of it all via social media, the ongoing news cycle, and media powerhouses vying for our attention, it’s no wonder we get stuck in a survival mode rut and forget ourselves, even maybe lose faith in ourselves.

In my effort to get unstuck, I attempted to get back to the basics. One of my basics is researching ways to improve upon my situation and share with you all. Living in our truth or happy place is one of the best remedies against stress that we have access to. So let’s get unstuck together and believe in ourselves again.

Today is a good day to believe in yourself again.

I found this article with great suggestions on how we can start. How to Be Growth-Oriented When You Feel Beaten Down.

My translated article highlights from her suggestions:

Be flexible
The everyday stuff matters too
Get back to basics
Be curious

The author reminds us to grow outside of the box, and I remind us to be mindful and reassess.