It marks the first time we’re leaving all the girls. Sam and Ella have slept over at Sean’s mom’s before, but that’s it.  They have never been apart from us for 24 hours.  Penelope has never slept without one of us home.  My parents are staying at our house, watching the girls and taking them to school.

When we first made these plans, I had no reservations.  People kept asking me if I was nervous or felt guilty, and my honest answer was not in the least, I need a break.  Until the morning we left, I was not at all nervous or worried.  I was a little anxious until we got into the hotel room and I called to check on them and everything was fine.

Since then, I have been doing nothing but enjoying myself.  I check in on the girls (and my parents) twice a day, but otherwise I’m having fun.  I’m attending some lectures, but I’m also doing some fun things.  I went to the am yoga and jazzercise classes at 6 in the morning and I’ll do zumba this morning.  I went to the spa and had a facial, a relaxing tea bath, and hopped in the steam room.  I gambled some. I learned to play craps (and I won). I shopped a little. I had dinner with friends. I talked to my classmates.  We went to see Phantom and to a nice dinner last night.  It was all good, relaxing, child free time and it will make me a more patient, happier mom when I get home.

My kids survived. My parents survived. And we survived.  I told Sean we’re taking a child free vacation once a year from now on.  We both need it.  As long as my parents are willing to watch the kids.

Do you leave your kids sometimes? Does it make you nervous? Do you love it?

Happy Meatless Monday!  We’re making Mediterranean Chili today.  I did another vlog, for fun.  Also, there are outtakes at the end.

Ingredients:

1 Tbsp olive oil

2 zucchini, finely chopped

2 yellow summer squash, finely chopped

1 cup chopped onions

1 pack (12 oz) frozen veggie crumbles

1 pack taco or chili seasoning

2 cans kidney beans rinsed and drained

1 can diced tomatoes

2 c. vegetable broth

1/4 c. red wine vinegar

Directions:

Heat oil then sautee the zucchini, squash, and onions until soft. Stir in veggie crumbles and seasoning. Add beans, tomatoes, broth, and vinegar.  Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes.

Oh, and turns out, after a while, the kids start to like it.  This note was made for me by Sammy after this dinner.  She’s a sweet kiddo.

Here’s a recent pic as evidence.

I have puffy bags under my eyes, my pores are too big, and my skin is pasty. I’m carrying an extra 10 pounds from the holidays. I hate those grooves forming between my nose and my too thin lips.  And I am just so sick and tired of my hair. I cut bangs and got highlights to no avail. Really, I think I’m long overdue for some good hair days. I feel old. Just old.

The other day I was looking in the mirror, sighing over the girth of my hips and cellulite on my thighs, when I caught Penny, right behind me, sizing up her backside too.  She smiled at me, clearly pleased she was doing grown up things, even if she didn’t quite understand the point.  And it hit me, what am I teaching my girls about body image, self-esteem, and self-respect?

At their age I remember thinking how beautiful my mother was.  She had this hot pink, terry cloth bikini she wore to sit in the kiddie pool with us and I remember thinking how gorgeous she was with her thick, black hair, pale skin, and that bikini. Oh, how I wanted one of my own.

My mother had two children at that point. I’m sure her tummy wasn’t as flat as it was pre-children, I’m sure she had lines or bags or grey hair she wasn’t happy about, but I didn’t see it.  I just saw my mother, the most beautiful woman in the world.  Did I see her inspecting herself in the mirror? I don’t remember that, but maybe, probably.

I can’t help but wonder how that affects a little girl, how it affects my little girls. I can tell they think I’m pretty, that they want to grow up to look like me, and here I am showing them through my actions that I’m not happy with what I have, that it’s not good enough, that it’s unattractive.

Well, that is a lesson I do not want to teach them.  They are beautiful and I want them to see that always.  So I’m going to try to change the way I look at myself.  Try to appreciate what I have that I like, try to appreciate what I don’t like. I’m going to try wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see myself through their eyes.  For a moment, maybe, I’ll see the most beautiful woman in the world.

We don’t go to church as a family.  Therefore, we don’t discuss it much at home.  This leads to our children interpreting things in their own ways.  Samantha said grace before dinner last year, for example.  She’s a little more introspective, so that’s pretty much all we heard from her.

Ella is a little more open with what’s going on inside her head.  And it’s been interesting. For example, she is fond of the idea that God made everything special. He made her special, and mommy special, and daddy special, and the trees special, and, you get the idea.  She then took that idea to her toys, which she declared were made special by God.  Not only that, but they were made special by God just for her, so, clearly, she doesn’t have to share any of them, since they were made special just for her. Yep, God does not want any sharing to take place.

They also collect offering at chapel for a charity.  This quarter, the money is going to buy mosquito nets for people who need them.  Apparently, they’re telling the kids malaria kills, which is true, but being that she’s three, she finds this concerning.  Also, we have princess canopies over the girls’ beds which must look like the pictures of the malaria nets she sees at school.  I should mention, Ella does not have one since she keeps pulling it out of the ceiling.

Ella’s brain has processed this in her own unique way, and has come up with the following facts. First, that we have the canopies over their beds because Sean’s dad died from mosquito bites because he didn’t have a net over his bed. (It was lung cancer, but he didn’t have net over his bed, so she’s partially right.) Second, Sean is in mortal danger because God said if you don’t have a net over your bed a mosquito will bite you and you will die. I’m not sure what she thinks about not having a net over her bed, or why she’s not concerned about me.

I’m kind of glad we have those Little Angels DVDs, she’s really into them, and I think the cartoons are setting her straight.

Have your children picked up any interesting Bible interpretations?

This was a 3/5 on the kiddo rating.  Sammy liked it, but the teriyaki sauce made it a little spicy for her.  Penny ate a little. As usual, Ella said yuck. My husband did indeed like it.

Here are the instructions in case you missed them.

Ingredients:

2 Tbsp. grapeseed oil

2 packages tempeh, crumbled

2 celery stalks, finely chopped

1 carrot, peeled and grated

1 tsp dried thyme

1 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp dried basil

salt and pepper to taste

1/4 c. breadcrumbs

1/4 c. rolled oats

3 Tbsp. tahini

1/4 c. soy sauce

1/3 c. nutritional yeast

1/3 c. ketchup

Directions: 

Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly oil a large loaf pan.

Heat the oil over medium heat. Add tempeh, celery, and carrot and saute 5 min. Stir in the thyme, basil, oregano, salt and pepper to taste. Cook another 3 minutes.  Pour the vegetables into a large bowl and add the remaining ingredients.  Mash together until well combined. Press into the loaf pan. Bake 45 minutes.

So, did you like the vlog? Would you like to see more?  Are you enjoying the meatless Mondays?