Parenting Advice

The Good Mommy Awards

2007-05-14T10:32:00.000-05:00

My friends and I are quick to ask for the Bad Mommy Award. We turn our backs, and our child falls off the slide and scrapes his knee. Pass the BMA—we should have been paying closer attention. The kids watched six straight hours of Noggin because we were just too tired/sick/busy. Pass the BMA—we let them rot their brains. We sent them to school because we thought they were “faking it”, only to turn around two hours later to pick them up because they lost their breakfast all over the hallway. Pass the BMA—how could we not have known they really were sick?

This week, in honor of Mother’s Day (frankly, I think at the very least it should be Mother’s Week, but hey, who am I?), let’s pass around the Good Mommy Award. We are all Good Mommies, but we are often just a little too hard on ourselves to recognize it. So let’s cut ourselves some slack and tell the world why we deserve the Good Mommy Award. For example, I get the Good Mommy Award because I: let my children have ice cream for breakfast; sang Moon River AND The Rainbow Connection before bedtime last night; demonstrated compassion for them in taking care of an elderly friend. Here are some ways other women have earned the Good Mommy Award this week. Please add yours in the comments section at the end.

“I hug and kiss my babies every day; I am still breastfeeding at 13 months; I’m letting my six-year old grow out his hair despite how crazy it looks!” —Jeni

“I rearranged my work schedule to spend more time with them, even though it means less money; I found their favorite DVD series in the $1 bin at Wal-Mart and bought them; I carve out mandatory cuddle-time each day.” —Amy

“My girls know they can count on me and trust me, and they understand that I love them unconditionally.” —Sonya

“When I pretend eat her foot and she tells me to put it back, I ‘spit’ it out and make her laugh; when she is being silly, I just say “I Love You”—and she tells me she loves me, too.” —Cara

“I’m very active at their school, to where almost everyone knows me as ‘J’s Mom’; I can’t stop kissing and hugging them, and they love it; they tell me out of the blue that they love me, so I must be doing something right!” —Karen B.

“I color with my girls for endless hours; I play hide-and-seek with them over and over; they know that, even if I am angry, I still love them, and I will always be their fiercest advocate.” —Karen G.

“My son is not lacking for affection—we kiss and cuddle him all the time; I have taught him the value of prayer; I remember the magic an ice cream truck brings to a kid.” —Tracy

“I can give my son his insulin shot without flinching; I can talk my daughter down from a severe tantrum and usually understand why she’s having it; I can make the hard decisions and I am good under pressure.” —Chrissa

“Even though I know I shouldn’t, I treat my daughter and myself to an ice cream cone after dance class; I lay down with each child separately to talk about the day; We ride bikes together every evening, even if I’m tired.” —Jen

“I helped my daughter set up a wonderful family tree for her project; I took the time to cuddle with my son this morning; I took the day off to go to their track and field event later this month; I’m working so hard (on the side) to make sure they have an awesome trip this summer.” —Kim

“I will leave the dishes in the sink, to take the kids to the park before it is dark; I read bedtime stories and say prayers with them before bedtime; I am not afraid to be a ‘mean mom’, and tell them no, when I know it is for their own good; I recognize that is ok to take a break from the kids, and go out for a moms night out, every once in awhile!” —Niki

Tips for Parents of School Age Children: Helping Your Children Manage Distress in the Aftermath of the Virginia Tech Shooting

2007-04-20T14:20:00.000-05:00

Reprinted by permission of the American Psychological Association Help Center

As a parent, you may be struggling with how to talk with your children about a shooting rampage on a university campus. It is important to remember that children look to their parents to make them feel safe. This is true no matter what age your children are, be they toddlers, adolescents, or even young adults. Consider the following tips for helping your children manage their distress.

Talk with your child – Talking to your children about their worries and concerns is the first step to help them feel safe and begin to cope with the events occurring around them. What you talk about and how you say it does depend on their age, but all children need to be able to know you are there listening to them.
- Find times when they are most likely to talk: such as when riding in the car, before dinner, or at bedtime.
- Start the conversation; let them know you are interested in them and how they are coping with the information they are getting.
- Listen to their thoughts and point of view; don’t interrupt--allow them to express their ideas and understanding before you respond.
- Express your own opinions and ideas without putting down theirs; acknowledge that it is okay to disagree.
- Remind them you are there for them to provide safety, comfort and support. Give them a hug.

Keep home a safe place –Children, regardless of age, often find home to be a safe haven when the world around them becomes overwhelming. During times of crisis, it is important to remember that your children may come home seeking the safe feeling they have being there. Help make it a place where your children find the solitude or comfort they need. Plan a stay at home night where everyone participates in a favorite family activity.

Watch for signs of stress, fear or anxiety – After a traumatic event, it is typical for children (and adults) to experience a wide range of emotions, including fearfulness, shock, anger, grief and anxiety. Your children’s behaviors may change because of their response to the event. They may experience trouble sleeping, difficulty with concentrating on school work, or changes in appetite. This is normal for everyone and should begin to disappear after a while. Encourage your children to put their feelings into words by talking about them or journaling. Some children may find it helpful to express their feelings through art.

Take “news breaks” – Your children, especially teenagers and young adults, may want to keep informed by gathering information about the event from the internet, television, or newspapers. It is important to limit the amount of time spent watching the news because constant exposure may actually heighten their anxiety and fears. Also, scheduling some breaks for yourself is important; allow yourself time to engage in activities you enjoy. Try to do something that includes family members as well as your children’s friends.

Take care of yourself – Take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. Be a model for your children on how to manage traumatic events. Keep regular schedules for activities such as family meals and exercise to help restore a sense of security and normalcy.

These tips and strategies can help you guide your children through the current crisis. If you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed, you may want to consider talking to someone who could help. A licensed mental health professional such as a psychologist can assist you in developing an appropriate strategy for moving forward. It is important to get professional help if you feel like you are unable to function or perform basic activities of daily living.

This tip sheet was made possible with help from the following APA members: Ronald S. Palomares, PhD, and Lynn F. Bufka, PhD.

Copyright: APA 2007

Posted by Lynn-Marie Tayler

Autism Speaks!

2007-04-10T09:12:00.000-05:00

April is Autism Awareness month, so with your help lets get the word out there - TODAY!

Autismspeaks.org, Autism Speaks is described as "an organization dedicated to help find a cure for autism by raising the funds that will facilitate and quicken the pace of research, to raise public awareness of autism, and to give hope to all those who suffer from this disorder."

Autism Speaks created a music video of the Five for Fighting song, "World", which features images of autistic children and their families.

It is a truly moving video. The band is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for *each time* the video is viewed - the funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to
your friends and family. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal. Please take a few minutes to view this video.

Please click on the link below…

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/213154

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Allergies Getting you Down?

2007-04-07T15:32:00.000-05:00

If you or your child is suffering from seasonal allergies (also known as “hay fever”), there IS something you can do about it without making a visit to the doctor and utilizing prescription drugs. Here is what you need to know:

Is it allergies?

If your child constantly has a runny nose, don’t assume it’s allergies. This is a HUGE mistake parents make. Considering the “typical” child has 8-10 colds a year, and a cold will last 10-14 days or longer, you might find your toddler or child with a constant runny nose. If your child is well nutriented, well rested, and doesn’t spend all day with other snotty kids, he will probably not be “typical.” But when your friend’s snotty toddler is pawing all over your child and his mom says, “it’s allergies,” -it probably isn’t. But how do you know? Common symptoms you can look for in your child include:

· Runny nose
· Itchy eyes
· Sneezing
· Red or dark, puffy circles under the eyes
· Itchy throat and neck
· General fussiness
· Congestion and coughing
· The symptoms occur during “allergy season” or when he gets near a specific stimulant (a certain moldy house, a certain part of the country, dust, certain animals, etc.)

What will the doctor do?

If the doctor does agree it’s allergies, she will likely prescribe allergy medicines, or possibly suggest allergy shots if the symptoms are constant and severe enough. We do not suggest either of these options until you try others first. We believe mainstream therapies should only be utilized in life threatening situations, or when natural remedies fail. For instance, children with food allergies should always carry an “epi-pen.” Children with asthma should keep an inhaler on hand (although we do have help for asthma sufferers as well- follow the same advice below). But when it comes to preventing itching eyes and runny noses, there is no medical intervention necessary in most cases.

How to prevent seasonal allergies:

The first thing you need to do is examine your child’s diet. Most of us follow the SAD (Standard American Diet) full of processed chicken nuggets, French fries, Pop-Tarts, breads, sugary drinks- you get the picture. Improve your child’s diet by providing fresh fruits and vegetables, and simply stop buying the things you know are bad for him. Make waffles or pancakes from scratch (they will keep a few days in the fridge/freezer and you can just re-heat for rushed mornings). Eliminate as much sugar, refined flour, trans-fats (margarine, chips, dough-nuts, etc.), and corn syrup as possible.

Next, you need to provide your child with a full spectrum, high quality nutritional supplement. Do not expect vitamins like “Flinstones” to do what high quality vitamins will do. It’s just not going to happen. You may even find after adding the right vitamins to your child’s diet that her appetite grows and improves to the point where she ASKS for healthier food. In our case, the addition of a high quality children’s vitamin was enough to solve our allergies and asthma.

Finally, place an air purifier in your child’s room at night. Our bodies recuperate while we sleep, and if your child is exposed to an allergen while she is sleeping, she will not get the rest she needs, and she will be even more likely to suffer from allergies while awake. It is a vicious cycle that you CAN prevent.

You can read a little more about Natural Seasonal Allergy Remedies and why this subject is so important to me. It has been three years since I found relief for myself and my son. Our lives have been impacted in such a dramatic way by making these lifestyle choices and diet improvements. I wish that doctors would learn themselves and educate more parents about natural prevention strategies. Drugs are never the best answer, and only a last resort when prevention strategies fail. We know numerous people- including adults- who have found relief from MANY ailments, including allergies and asthma, by doing the above. Try it yourself, and don’t let those allergies get you down!

Car Seat 102: Choosing the Right Seat

2007-01-31T16:00:00.000-05:00

by Lynn-Marie Tayler

News from Consumer Reports that ten popular car seats failed their safety tests sent parents and the car-seat industry into a tailspin. Among those that failed included the Evenflo Discovery, Britax Companion (the E9L14 model, which was recalled in September 2006), and Graco SafeSeat. According to CR, in side-impact crash tests of 38mph and front-end impact tests of 35mph, the seats had a tendency to come loose from their bases, ejecting the crash test dummies from the seats. They recommended only two seats for purchase: the Baby Trend Flex-Loc and the Graco SnugRide with EPS. Just recently, CR retracted its test results, due to faulty testing standards that had them using impact speeds of more than 70 mph, not the stated 38 mph. But the damage has been done, and many parents are left wondering if they have the safest seat.

There are so many choices when it comes to buying the right child restraint. “The best seat is one that fits your child, fits your budget, installs properly in your vehicle, and will be used properly each and every time,” says Melissa Marowelli, a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician. CPSTs are certified after attending a 32-hour course with the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration (NHTSA) and passing both a written and an oral test with no less than a 90%. They must also be recertified every other year, part of which includes taking a number of continuing education units—much like teachers do. In other words, these people know their stuff. Before heading out to the store, do your homework, she advises. “Check out websites such as www.car-safety.org, www.car-seat.org, www.carseatdata.org, www.cpsafety.com and www.epinions.com for recommendations and reviews from real parents and certified technicians.” She also advises to avoid Consumer Reports: “They only test a select few seats and generally their advice isn’t always the best; they specialize in household products, not products to keep your kids safe.” In fact, she and many other CPSTs, as well as the Juvenile Products Manufacturing Association (JPMA) and the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS), were skeptical of the recent Consumer Reports study from the outset. For one thing, CR testing standards have not been made available, although they admitted they used different ones than the NHTSA, IIHS and other agencies. Also, it is unclear just how they installed the car seats and whether or not improper installation factored into the results. Improper installation is the leading cause of car seat failure, and it can be disingenious to rate a seat poorly if the reason it performed below expectations is because of human, not design, error.

So what’s a parent to do? Marowelli offers some common sense tips to help you choose the right seat for your child:

Do your research before going to the store. “The packaging on car seats is confusing and if you don’t prepare ahead of time, you could end up wasting money on something that won’t work for you.”
Do make sure the seat you choose is appropriate for your child. For example, if your car has bench seats with no headrest, you need to purchase a high-back booster to provide your child with adequate head support. If you are purchasing a seat that requires installation using LATCH (such as the SafeGuard Go), make sure your car has the proper equipment.
Don’t purchase or use any seat from a resale shop, yard sale, or with an unknown history. Seats that are older than five years or that have been in an accident, even a minor fender-bender, could experience a deterioration of the seat’s plastic components, affecting its sturdiness.
Don’t use a booster that has a shield (arm) instead of a harness or allowing for seat belt use. These have a history of ejection in crashes and have since been recalled from the market.
Do check to make sure the seat will fit properly in your vehicle.
Do look out for product recalls. Check out http://www.cpsc.gov.
Do have a certified CPST show you how to properly install your seat and periodically have it re-checked by them to confirm it is still safely installed. To locate a CPST near you, call toll free 1-888-DASH2DOT or visit the NHTSA on the web.

For many children, they will spend just as much time in their safety seat as they will in their crib. Why not choose the safest and most comfortable seat you can afford? Your child deserves it.

The Best Seats

Marowelli provided her personal recommendations for the best seats on the market (from least to most expensive):

Infant Carriers: Baby Trend Latch-Loc (only for LATCH-equipped vehicles), Chicco KeyFit, Graco SafeSeat 1, Graco SnugRide 2
Convertible Seats: Cosco Scenera 5pt, Evenflo Titan DLX, Evenflo Triumph, Britax Marathon/Boulevard/Decathlon
Combination Boosters: Evenflo Chase, Graco Ultra or Platinum Cargo, Cosco Apex65, Recaro Young Sport
Forward-Facing Only: Graco SafeSeat 2, Britax Regent, SafeGuard
High-Back Booster: Graco TurboBooster, Evenflo Big Kid Confidence, Compass B510, Britax Parkway, Britax Monarch
Low-Back Booster: Graco TurboBooster, Evenflo Big Kid, Cosco Ambassador, Cosco Prospect

Divorcing with Kids - Things to remember

2007-03-19T20:18:00.000-05:00

In recent reports (though scattered) it seems that somewhere around 50% of all married couples will divorce, then somewhere around 75% of those people have children. Sadly, it’s the child that often feels the effects of your divorce the most.

The importance of keeping a positive relationship with your ex, no matter what kind of divorce you had, or how much of a pain it is, should be of utmost concern.

I can attest, it’s not an easy thing to do. I am a divorced, single mom of a 7-year-old girl. Learning to deal with being divorced is a hard thing to get through, and when you have a child it can be harder – here are some guidelines to make sure your divorce affects your child as little as possible -

Never use your child as a pawn in your “battle”. Remember, the best interests of your children have to be the first and foremost consideration, in BOTH of your minds. Whenever possible, keep your divorce proceedings “friendly” – remember you have children together and a bad relationship now will only lead to a bad relationship later when you're trying to work TOGETHER for the best interests of your child! If joint custody is awarded (or agreed upon), never talk unkindly about your ex husband (or ex wife) and don’t ask questions about what the “ex” is doing now that your not with them – putting your child in the middle will only cause them more pain than they are already facing – no one wants that.

You need to remember, your child is trying to figure out his or her new world as a child from a “broken” home, they are trying to understand what happened and often times they are blaming themselves for it all. You MUST reassure them that no matter what did happen it is in no way their fault, that you and your ex still love them, and that no matter what they're FIRST on your “list” of priorities – always!

Another thing that might be VERY hard is: don’t talk about your ex begrudgingly around family or friends especially when your children are around! If you MUST vent, do it while the kids are in school or with friends – then make sure you ask the person you did vent to to NOT to talk about this topic while your children are around! You want to be sure that the lines of communication are OPEN and that your children know that they can come to you with any questions they have – and you have to be prepared to answer them, and answer them honestly (or as honestly as you can). Note that you may see some “acting out” within your child especially during the first few months, this is normal behavior and is their way of “dealing” with the situation, in the best way they know how. Give them time, don’t push them, when they are ready they will come to you!

Remember, children will most likely seek out other children who are going (or have gone) though the same kinds of things as they are (have). This is healthy and should be encouraged! Kids have an easier time “dealing” when their “best friend” has gone though the same thing! They also tend to “believe” other kids in times when their parents seem to be “stressed” or when you are unable to talk to them about the situation (also normal). Don’t worry, eventually they will come around; once they realize that neither you nor your ex has “left them” and that you both still love them as much as you ever have!

In addition, remember to give yourself a break. Anyone going through a divorce is under probably the most stress they have ever been under in their whole lives! Adding guilt to the “mixture” will not help you or your children! So remember to take it one day at a time – rid yourself of undue pressure and focus on what IS most important during this time – the kids (and yourself)! This is a time of immense healing and discovery, embark on it with every thought of hope you can muster – it only gets better!

Posted By: Jenn with All Natural Mommies

Candy-free Easter Baskets

2007-03-17T22:10:00.000-05:00

Easter is right around the corner (April 8), and if you’re like me, you are already planning on what the Easter Bunny will leave for your children this year. Whether you do the “Easter basket” gift, or the Easter Bunny hides eggs in your yard, there is a very serious subject you need to be aware of this Easter!

Is it ironic to anyone else that we celebrate holidays with our children by poisoning them? No really, think about it: Christmas- CANDY; Halloween- CANDY; Easter- CANDY; Birthday- CAKE and CANDY. These celebrations probably wouldn’t be a big deal if we didn’t also give them junk on all the other days. Children have learned that they should get some form of candy every day of the year, and they are getting it every where they turn.

Perhaps you are still hung up on the suggestion that candy is POISON. If you are not sold on the danger of sugar to your children (and to you) here are some sources that might help to see sugar for what it is:

Sugar and Cancer
146 Reasons Why Sugar Is Ruining Your Health

While it makes sense to manage your children’s sugar and candy intake daily, should you really be concerned about the few holidays a year that bring an onslaught of candy? Well, if you think about it, the candy doesn’t last one day. As I write this, we still have Halloween candy in our house and it is March 1st. Every day I hear, “Can I have a piece of candy?” Every church activity our children have, they get 1-2 pieces of candy. When they get their hair cut- they get candy, not to mention junky snacks here and there. Many times, we are not even asked if they can HAVE the candy before it is handed to them. This has gotten out of control!

A couple of years ago, we recognized the candy craze and wanted to do what we could to keep it from our children’s Easter baskets. There are so many things you can give to your children besides candy! Our first goal was to provide things that they would need for spring or summer:
Sandals or flip flops, sand toys, bathing suit, goggles, jump rope, soccer ball, kite, beach ball, sidewalk chalk, children’s gardening tools, etc.

This not only saved us money, the kids didn’t even notice the absence of candy! If you will be buying these things for them at some point anyway, go ahead and stick it in the Easter basket. Not only will it make them excited about spring, it will get them active, which is always a great thing.

Other suggestions are hairbows, bouncy balls, toy puppets, and matchbox cars. You can see more ideas (including small items that fit inside Easter eggs) here. If you do want to have some candy in your children’s baskets, choose organic chocolate, or candy made from xylitol which actually helps prevent cavities.

Tornado Safety

2007-03-16T21:17:00.000-05:00

It’s March 1 and as I type this there are weather systems hitting the southeast causing tornadoes. It’s ironic, because I live in Kansas, and there have been more tornadoes in other areas than we have had here in the last year. Last week, we did have a tornado watch that started in the evening and ran all night. This was new to me, because the other tornado watches we had were during the day. So I was faced with a dilemma: Where do we sleep?

Our house was built in 1919 or so, and has so many windows in every room! We usually all sleep upstairs, but that won’t work when a tornado is on its way. The one downstairs bedroom is safer, but it is not a central room and has four windows. Our basement is not a place you could sleep, but a safe haven from tornadoes should we have one actually come through. So I decided we could all squish into our hallway which was the only central location and fairly close to our basement door. It would be a tight squeeze for me, my husband, and our 4 and 5 year-old, but at least I would feel safe enough to actually sleep. Luckily, the bad weather went through before we went to bed and we felt comfortable enough to sleep in our beds. But it occurred to me: are we as prepared as we should be?

While nobody wants to think about “what if?” -as parents we really need to. As far as tornado safety, here is what you need to know:
1. Keep flashlights and new batteries on hand- enough for each person old enough to carry one (approximately 2 and above).
2. Keep candles and lighters where you will a)remember where they are, and b) be able to get to them quickly.
3. Put sturdy shoes on your entire family if you have to seek shelter during a tornado warning. Should the tornado hit, you and your children will be able to walk through the wreckage to safety.
4. For more information on tornadoes and what you should know to protect you and your family, visit this site.

Eight teenagers died at Enterprise High School in Alabama when a tornado hit on the day of this writing. This reiterates to us the seriousness of these tornado-producing storm systems and I hope that all parents are learning what they need to know and are getting prepared should they be faced with a tornado warning in their town. In addition, all parents should make sure that their day care provider or school has a plan in place as well.

Lynn's List: Ten Best Children's Books Ever!

2007-03-05T17:50:00.000-05:00

by Lynn-Marie Tayler

I have been an avid reader since I was three. I love to read and I read just about anything that I can get my hands on! My children are also readers, and I hope that their love of books is something that will carry into adulthood. My husband, on the other hand, was a reluctant reader. He avoided it when he was younger, and has only since becoming an adult grown to appreciate the power a book has. Together, we read to the children on a regular basis and our bookshelves are stacked with hardcovers, paperbacks, board books, and the like. It is now tradition in my family that at the magical and arbitrary age of three, part of the birthday celebration involves a trip to the local library for the birthday boy or girl to receive their very own card. Reading is one of the best gifts you can give your child.

The following are my personal choices for the ten best children’s books ever. If you haven’t read any of these, run right out to your library and borrow them. If you don’t see your favorite on my list, please add it to the comments section! We’re always looking to expand our reading selection.

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown and Clement Hurd. This simple tale of bedtime in a little bunny’s home has been sending children into peaceful slumber for over sixty years. It’s quiet, rhythmic cadence is perfect for settling down the little ones and the illustrations are eye-catching, yet simple. Available as a board book (to allow baby to read himself) or as a hardcover book perfect for that special story time.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. Really, any book by Carle is a treat (and I just adore the Carle line by Carters!). This one is my and my children’s favorite. They love to watch the tiny larvae transform first into a caterpillar—who eats his way through several fruits and the book—and finally into a colorful butterfly. Parents will like this because it introduces the basic concepts of math (he eats one apple, then two pears, etc.), time (he eats on Monday, then Tuesday, etc.), and science (the metamorphosis from larvae to butterfly is the heart of the story). Children will love the colors and the holes that the caterpillar makes in the pages.
Dr. Seuss. Maybe I’m cheating by throwing his entire body of work into one entry, but it’s my list and as my four-year-old is fond if telling me, “I’ll do it the way I wanna do it, k?” How can you choose just one Dr. Seuss book? From Horton to the Lorax to the Grinch to the infamous Cat in the Hat…all of these colorful characters have been introducing children to the luxuriousness, elegance, and beauty of our language. Short and sweet rhyming schemes capture a child’s attention and their imagination is piqued through Seuss’s artful storytelling. Some of his books provide a subtle moral and social lesson, most notably, The Lorax, a prescient tale of a world that wasted its natural beauty and resources, leaving behind nothingness.
Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch and Sheila McGraw. I dare you not to cry by the end of this touching story of a mother’s promise to her son, as he grows from infancy to adulthood. The poem will be one you will memorize and find yourself saying to your own children, day after day. I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be…
The Monster at the End of This Book by Jon Stone (Little Golden Books). Fun, loveable, furry Grover tries to convince the reader not to turn the pages in fear of the monster hiding at the end of the book. Contrary to how the title sounds, it’s not a frightful story at all. It’s just plain silly! Best read in melodramatic tones for the greatest comic effect. Your children will beg you to read it to them again and again.
Mommy? by Maurice Sendak. This pop-up book by the popular children’s writer was just released this year and is well on the way to becoming a classic like its companion, Where the Wild Things Are. Artfully illustrated by Sendak, written by Arthur Yorinks, and transformed into a clever pop-up by Matthew Reinhart, the mostly wordless story follows an impish little boy as he wanders through a haunted house in search of his missing Mommy. He humorously triumphs over the creatures that come out to scare him, from Frankenstein to the Wolf Man. Parents will be delighted by the cool little feats of engineering that make this a more cleverly designed pop-up than most. Who knows which one of you will have the most fun.
Miss Rumphias by Barbara Cooney. My father-in-law introduced this book to me when he purchased it for my stepdaughter many moons ago. It’s a beautiful tale about “the Lupine Lady”, whose message is one we all should heed: “Leave the world a little more beautiful than you found it.” I still dream of having a garden of lupines someday!
Ramona the Pest by Beverly Cleary. A hilarious look at a young girl’s first few days of kindergarten. Perhaps you were Ramona, inquisitive and precocious. Or maybe you were pretty Susie with the Boing-Boing curls. Or Beezus, Ramona’s long-suffering sister. Each of us can relate to at least one of the characters, and your child will, too. Read this to your kindergartner or first-grader and the giggles will echo through your house for weeks afterward.
Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret and Then Again, Maybe I Won’t, both by Judy Blume. Yes, two titles sharing one spot. The first is a classic coming-of-age tale for the pre-pubescent girl. I devoured this book again and again, for its humor (“We Must, We Must, We Must Increase Our Bust”) and its poignant way of encapsulating what it feels like to be just on the cusp of young womanhood. The second is an entirely different story than Margaret’s, but the premise is the same, only directed towards pre-pubescent males. I actually recommend all the Judy Blume books; my first was Blubber and I couldn’t get enough of Blume after reading that. (Word of caution: she does write serious adult novels, as well. Keep those away until your little Blume fans grow up. I accidentally read Wifey when I was 10. A little too much information for a young girl!)
Charlotte’s Web by EB White. I just finished reading this classic about a girl, a pig, and a very special spider to my four-year-old. I hope the theme of friendship will stay with her as it has with me for the past twenty-five years. We should all be so lucky as to find a friend like Charlotte.

Cabin Fever

2007-02-20T09:01:00.000-05:00

It never fails. Every winter in almost every town (even in Florida where our blood runs thin and we keep our kids inside when temperatures dip below 55 degrees - brr!) kids - and parents - develop cabin fever.

"I don't want to go outside and play. It's too cold." "Mom, it is raining again. I'm bored." Most every parent has heard these statements (or a funnier derivative delivered by a toddler, like "No want to wear snow pants. Up shorts! Up shorts! Go swimming!").

Well, fret no longer. In addition to the great Crafting Ideas post by Kim Monaco of Learn Crafts Online on parenting-advice-blog.com, here's a selection of the web's best resources to get you through the next few months:

GoCityKids.com - Kids museums, science centers, indoor inflatable playgrounds ... oh my! GoCityKids is the perfect city guide - written by parents for parents - in over 20 cities across the nation (and more to come). Want to get a first hand review of a restaurant (including whether the spot has changing tables, kids menus and activities to keep the brood amused while you wait for your food), a theme park (with helpful inside tips) or even libraries? This is the site to visit. Each city offers hundreds of reviews and listings, so you can find something to do or somewhere to visit, even on the "yuckiest" of weather days. And don't forget to check out the full event calendar with art workshops, story times, fairs, festivals and (bless them) even Parents' Night Out activities!

Family Fun Magazine - No need to subscribe (though you'll receive plenty of offers to do so during your visit) as the website offers loads of information not found in the printed magazine. Parents can search for ideas by age range (toddlers through twelve-year-olds) and even modify the search by what their kids love most (Princesses, Sports, Animals) to come up with a list of recipes, craft ideas and games with their theme. For the, ahem, less crafty parents (like myself), the site also offers fast craft and recipe videos to help you figure out just how those Snowman Cupcakes come to life.

And if you find yourself snowed in but still want your kids to learn something on their days off, try out the FunBrain.com free kids activity center. Kids can play Math Baseball, Grammar Gorillas, and more. There are even educational games for the high school set, like Proton Don (which focuses on Chemistry) and Where is THAT? (a great geography game for parents, too). A Sudoku section is sure to keep family members' brains twisted!

These sites might help you get the family to summer vacation ... when you should be prepared to hear "Mom, it's too hot to play outside. I'm bored."

Ahh, parenting.

Posted by: Colleen Aravena

The Best Water to Use for Baby's Formula

2007-02-08T13:36:00.000-05:00

While it’s common that natural parents lean toward breastfeeding rather than formula feeding, there are times when we depend on formula or are unable to breastfeed. A recent article and comments from some moms have prompted me to write this article. First, let me reference the news release, which stated that infants should not drink formula made with “nursery water” because of its fluoride content. This might sound odd to some, since the whole reason nursery water was produced was to protect the developing teeth of infants, in the hopes of preventing childhood caries. You can learn more about the dangers of fluoride and why it should not be ingested internally EVER.

Fluoride is found naturally in water (and tea) and is also added to water in some municipalities. About 60% of water suppliers still fluoridate the water, so if you’re not sure you need to check your local supplier. (More communities are fighting to have it removed every day.)

While some parents believe (and some doctors will tell you) that boiled tap water is perfectly safe for infant formula and toddler’s drinks, it is definitely not. Boiling water removes NO contaminants and all it will do is kill any pathogens in the water. Essentially you are feeding your baby dead pathogens, and other contaminants found in tap water such as fluoride, chlorine by-products, arsenic, lead, pesticides, nitrates, and many other things that the EPA doesn’t even test our water for.

While many people depend on filtered or bottled water, these offer a false sense of security. Filters do not purify the water and things can actually grow IN the filter, passing through to your “filtered” water. Bottled water, largely unregulated, can actually be local tap water. There is no way to know what’s in it without testing every bottle you open, and it’s also expensive! The purest possible water comes from a home water distiller. Not only is fluoride removed, but almost 100% of impurities are removed from distilled water, from every batch you distill. While the word “distiller” might conjure up visions of tubes, massive boiling tanks and illegal substances, a water distiller is simply a kitchen appliance which sits on your kitchen counter and boils your water. The steam is collected in a container, providing pure, clean, distilled water.

Home distilled water is not only the best water for your baby’s formula, it is also the only water you should provide for your toddler, older children, and adults as well. It seems that many parents feel that if it doesn’t kill you on the spot, it must be safe for you. That could not be further from the truth! It is imperative that we do our jobs as parents and protect our children from harmful food, drinks, and air whenever possible. Using fresh, home distilled water for your baby’s formula is the best way to provide that safety in your baby’s bottle!

Craft with your kids!

2007-01-23T17:06:00.000-05:00

As parents, sometimes we get so wrapped up in keeping our kids busy and entertained and enriched that we might forget to spend time with them. One perfect way to spend time with kids (of all ages) is to craft with them!

As a parent of an infant or toddler, pull out some big chunky crayons, a variety of paper and let her color (you color too - we all need to be kids again sometimes) - it won't be perfect (and it shouldn't be!) - but what a great way to spend time with your little one and it develops early fine motor skills. Plus, talk about the different colors, the different hues, everything you say to your little one is absorbed - one day they might surprise you by saying - "Mommy, that's turquoise - it's your favorite color!"

For preschool age - oh my gosh - crafting heaven! Messy crafts, neat crafts - they are all great for developing fine motor skills, creativity and they are just plain fun! The key to enjoying crafting is to connect with your child during craft-time, take a break from the laundry, and the other things you must do - and spend 15 minutes crafting something with your children - it's fun, and who knows, you might create something beautiful that you can hang on the refrigerator - or in a window!

Here's a couple fun winter crafts to try:

Snowflakes - I'm sure you remember these - fold paper in half several times and then start cutting! Unfold, and you'll have a beautiful snowflake. Make it even more fun, by sprinkling with glitter (use a glue stick first where you want the glitter to stick). Very pretty and FUN!

Snow Mural - use a piece of blue construction paper. Pour a little glue into some shallow containers, dip cotton balls in the glue and then stick onto the paper - you have a snow mural! Be sure to display it.

Remember, as parents the most important thing we can do is spend quality time with our little ones.

Happy Crafting!
Kim

Parenting Advice Contests - Rules & Regulations

2007-01-01T00:20:00.000-05:00

Did you hear - Parenting Advice is doing CONTESTS!!!

Baby Photo Contests - Baby photo contests will be held each quarter. Our first "2007 New Year Kick-Off" contest will be in January 2007. The contest category is "How your child rang in the New Year." Entries are due by midnight on January 31, 2007.

Please send all photo's to: Questions@parenting-advice-blog.com

Contest entry deadlines for the remaining contests will be as follows:
1st Quarter - All Entries due by midnight on March 31, 2007
2nd Quarter - All Entries due by midnight on June 30, 2007
3rd Quarter - All Entries due by midnight on September 30, 2007
4th Quarter - All Entries due by midnight on December 31, 2007

CATEGORIES FOR QUARTERLY CONTESTS WILL BE ANNOUNCED AT A LATER DATE. PLEASE CHECK BACK OFTEN.

** Please limit one photo per child. Contests are open for children ages 10 & under. By entering this contest and submitting your child's photo you are releasing Parenting Advice from any and all liability. We take great pride in confidentiality. We will not share your information or photos with anyone outside our Parenting Advice staff. Judges will choose the best photos for each category. You will be notified via email upon winning the contest, so please provide a valid email address. All entries without a valid email address will be considered ineligible. Prizes may include: Gift Certificates, Baby, Home or Health Products,candles & more.

Article of the Month Contests

Each month we will be having an Article of the Month Contest. How this works is, you ask us a question as pertains to parenting. We will choose 1 question each month that will be the topic of our Article of the Month. If your question is chosen, you win a prize. In order to be eligible you will need to provide a valid email address so that we can notify you if you should win. All entries without a valid email address will be considered ineligible. Prizes may include: Gift Certificates, Baby, Home or Health Products,candles & more. Entries are not limited, so ask us as many questions as you like.

You’ve got a Digital Camera ...What now?

2007-01-17T22:32:00.000-05:00

by Karlana Kulseth of Kar’s Kreations & Photos

The big ticket item with Moms this last holiday season was the digital camera. And why not? Moms are super busy these days compared to the Moms of twenty years ago. We are always on the run, and we really don’t have the time, or the extra funds, to go developing film only to find out that half the pictures we took were not what we really expected.

The art of Digital Photography is simple: point and shoot. And if you don’t like it, delete it and try again. This popular item has even dipped down to the younger crowds of the twenty-first century with many shutterbugs in the midst of us Moms. If you are like me, you have at least one shutterbug toddling behind you, attempting to concentrate on your every move to learn how to do it. But many of you are probably wondering that same question: How do we do it?

I have been a photographer since I was ten years old. I have always been told I have a knack for photography. I’d pick the oddest things to photograph, as well as the normal things. Nowadays, I take this creativity and spread my wings with it with my digital camera. Working with your digital camera is very easy to do, as long as you follow along with me through the journey of becoming a Digital Photographer.

First off, please do read your manual. If you are like me, once you get a new “toy”, you just want to charge up those batteries and get cracking! But think about it. While you are waiting for those batteries to charge, take time out to get to know your camera. I call this the Meet & Greet with your new friend. After all, this camera will probably never leave your side now, considering all the wonderful pictures you can take and save on your computer! Read up on what your camera can actually do. Can it take videos? Does your camera have different color modes (sepia, black and white, natural color, high color, low color, tungsten)? How far does your zoom go? Does this zoom just work with the main lens, or is there also digital zoom? Mind you, digital zoom is way different from regular zoom, which will give you a different turn out of photos. Does your camera have different modes for different landscapes and views that may be in front of you? What different flashes are provided? All these are important to know because you will want to get the best photos out of your new companion.

Of course, this won’t be the first article I write and share little secrets to making those photos “pop” from your camera. But for now, it will be the basics. Now that I have stressed getting to know your camera with a simple Meet & Greet, the next step is to take some photos!

When you go out and about with your camera, don’t just snap pictures of those adorable children you have. Granted, they will be the main focus of your photos, but look at the world around you. I am sure everyone has some type of landscaping that would be a great scene to capture! Try taking close ups of flowers, leaves, and other different objects. After you have gone out and snapped some pictures, come back and upload them to your computer. Check out what you have done! It is okay to see blurs behind objects you took close ups of, that is intended and will be covered in another article. It is okay if the lighting was a bit off or not of your expectations. The whole point is to build a relationship with your camera.

The last step, for today’s article, is to share your photos. Sign up for an online housing account for your photos such as Photo Bucket or Flickr. I suggest these two because they are easy to use and very popular. Once you sign up for your account, start uploading pictures into your account. After that task is completed, post a link to your pictures in the comments to this article.

The most important part is to HAVE FUN! If you have other intentions other than to have fun with photography, it will never turn out the way you want it to.

Links to Sites:

Photo Bucket http://www.photobucket.com

Flickr http://www.flickr.com

Ringing in the New Year

2007-01-15T10:00:00.000-05:00

In the spirit of the new year, and in keeping with a long running tradition, I've created my list of resolutions for 2007.

But this is no ordinary list. This is a Mommy (or Daddy, if you prefer) centric list that goes "weigh" beyond the standard promise to lose 10 pounds by 2008.

So here we go. I've picked five of the top ten most common New Year's resolutions (as listed by the CentraCare Health System, which incidentally offers a content-rich Parenting Center):

1. Lose weight: This year, I resolve to lose weight. The weight of the world on my shoulders to be a "supermommy" or "world's greatest mom" (regardless of what my coffee cup says).

I will not be solely responsible for finding lost homework assignments, lunch bags, left shoes, or my husband's favorite belt (which seems to walk around the house all on its own).

I will lose the weight of self-guilt and second-guessing by realizing that my family is (relatively) well-adjusted, happy, healthy (colds notwithstanding) and haven't (yet) become wanted criminals. I WILL attribute these successes to my parenting skills and will feel the weight melt away.

2. Stop smoking: Well, technically, I will stop creating a mommy "smoke-screen." I resolve to break down and ask for help when I need it. I will accept said help with open and non-judgemental arms (since, truly, is it that important that the towels be folded in thirds instead of in half?).

I will not agree to participate in every little thing, especially those that take away from quality family time, simply so every single person in the universe thinks I have it together. Timmy Jones' all day celebration of his new hair cut (for which I am expected to bake and design 4 dozen cookies with "Way to go!" iced onto the tops) is not a great way to spend a Saturday. Instead, I will say yes to things that help other children and families in need and I will also get my family involved.

3. Save money: I resolve to eat more dinners at home and enjoy the music of my toddlers' and husband's laughter, requests for more "mac n' that cheese" casserole (my only true kitchen specialty), the whiz of a sippy cup past my ear, and even the cries to leave the table and play.

I will reward good behavior not by purchasing a new toy, but with trips to never before visited parks and playgrounds where I will forget about work for one hour to slide and swing with the wild abandon of my children.

I resolve not to purchase a large, small, furry or scaly creature that requires bags of food costing more than our family's monthly mortgage payment. Instead, I will create a magical story that inspires my kids to take care of an aquarium of Sea-Monkeys, their king and queen, and a herd of invisible sea horse pulled chariots.

4. Become more organized: I will go through my closet and donate all shoes that stopped fitting even before my first pregnancy. I will then be better equipped to see the toy dump truck hiding behind the racks and (miraculously) locate a missing left shoe.

I will leave the house 10 minutes early with the kids so I only arrive 5 minutes late. To accomplish this, I will stash a diaper bag in each bedroom, by the door, in the car, and maybe even hide a spare "emergency" bag in the spare tire well.

I will also send out Christmas cards so that they actually arrive for Christmas 2007 and not Easter 2008.

5. Be more patient: 2007 is the time to take a deep breath, count to 10 (or 20, or more) and work on my patience. I will recognize that calm repetition is key when attempting to get my kids to pick up their toys, use the potty, or take the doll clothes off of our cat. I will accept that this is also the case with my husband (but will wonder why he can't at least match the clothes he puts on the poor feline).

Instead of jumping in with my opinion, I will wait to hear the entire side of a story and listen to that person's perspective. This will make me realize why it such an honor to live in a country where neighbors (or friends or family members) can express such differing view points and still be able to coexist.

I will breathe deeply when my mother-in-law says my new haircut is perfect "for a boy" and when she asks why the kids get up at the crack of dawn. I will patiently remind myself that if I don't do so well on this resolution, I have the rest of my life (or hers!) to add it to my list.

But most of all, I will realize how truly blessed I am to have family and friends. And if my list doesn't keep me busy enough throughout the year, I might even decide to lose those 10 pounds. But I don't want to get overly ambitious...

Posted By: Colleen Aravena

A SIDs Safe Crib

2007-01-08T14:38:00.000-05:00

*** Monthly Feature Column ***

As a crib death prevention advocate and believer in the toxic gas theory for crib death, I try to get into the heads of new moms and find out what they know, or think they know, about crib death. This is very important, because if I don’t explain what I need to explain, the whole point might get missed and the message lost. Let me explain!

First of all, what most new moms (or veteran moms for that matter) don’t know is that there is a crib death prevention measure that has been 100% successful in many countries for over 12 years. This prevention measure is based on the toxic gas theory for crib death, which states that toxic nerve gases are released from crib (and adult) mattresses the more they are used. Basically, a polyethylene cover is put over the baby’s crib, co-sleeper, or bassinet mattress, preventing the gases from getting into the baby’s breathing space. While many U.S. “SIDS experts” promoted the widely successful Back to Sleep advice from countries like the U.K, they don’t know or won’t say why babies sleeping on their backs die less frequently than tummy sleepers. Ironically, back sleeping was promoted in the U.K. because of the toxic gas theory and somewhere between there and the US, the message was lost.

You might be wondering, then, about all the other SIDS prevention advice. For this article, I will only be focusing on the crib/sleep environment and misconceptions about the baby’s sleeping space.

The baby’s mattress should be firm. But crib mattress manufacturers have gone overboard on this one and parents are complaining of mattresses so hard that their babies can’t sleep on them. Whether you have an innerspring or foam mattress, the most important thing is not the firmness, but that you cover it with a BabeSafe mattress cover. This is not negotiable. The baby should sleep on a wrapped mattress at least until 12 months.
What about baby’s blanket? Most moms have read at least once that there should not be a blanket in the baby’s sleeping space. This is not true. You should, however, use only 100% cotton or woolen blankets. Use nothing made from or filled with polyester, acrylic, or other synthetic fabric. These items, when soiled, will release the same toxic gases as the mattress.
How about the mattress pad? On top of your BabeSafe mattress cover, you should use a 100% cotton towel, prefold diapers sewn together, or flannel blankets. Do not use anything waterproof. On top of this cotton layer, you will place a fitted sheet that will hold the cotton towel, etc. in place. The cotton layer, also called an “underblanket” is only there to provide comfort for the baby.
So bumper pads are not okay? On the contrary, bumper pads are perfectly safe. They are more dangerous when you don’t use a BabeSafe cover because they help keep gases in the baby’s breathing space. As long as your mattress is covered, you may use bumper pads.
Pillows are not okay. Pillows not only release the same toxic nerve gases, but they are also a suffocation hazard. If baby is sick and you need to elevate the crib, do so from underneath by placing a phone book under one side of the mattress, or put the mattress up higher on one side.

Once you have taken these steps, your baby’s mattress will be the safest possible sleeping area. You do not need to purchase a $300 organic or rubber mattress in order to have a safe mattress. And you can trust this information that has been followed by hundreds of thousands of moms for over 12 years with absolutely NO crib deaths.

By: Evie Maddox

Attention Parenting Advice Readers!

2006-12-31T22:50:00.000-05:00

We'd like to thank you for a wonderful year here at Parenting Advice. We are committed to providing you with the best Natural Parenting Advice so please be sure to visit us often.

We'd like to again say that without you, we simply can't succeed. Without our readers we wouldn't be able to provide you with answers to those important questions that you have most as a parent. Our success depends on YOU! We are getting ready for a fun and exciting new year here at Parenting Advice, but we NEED your help! We have added a few "New" contests here at Parenting Advice and we'd like you to ask for your help. Take a peek below at our new contests.

To kick off the New Year, we are having a Child Photo Contest. The Category: How your child rang in the New Year. This kick off contest will be the first of several contests. We will be having a Child Photo contest every quarter and at Halloween. For detailed information please click on the link: Join our Contests

We will also be having a monthly contest that goes hand in hand with our "Ask Us A Question" As we said earlier, our success depends on you and we need your help. Starting January 2007 we will be featuring an "Article of the Month". This article will be the topic of one lucky reader's question. If your question is chosen to be the topic for our "Article of the Month", you will win a prize. Prizes will vary and may include: Gift Certificates, Health Products, Baby Products, Candles & more. With prizes to be given away monthly, we are asking you to: "Ask Us A Question".

For those of you parents who just love showing off your beautiful kids, you may enter your kids pictures into our Children's Photo Gallery for everyone to see. Please limit 1 picture per child.

If you have any questions regarding any of these contests we want to hear from you. Please direct questions/inquiries to: Questions@parenting-advice-blog.com

Thank you for a great year in 2006 and let's ROCK 2007!

Sincerely, Parenting Advice Staff

Ask The Authors

2006-01-06T23:42:00.000-05:00

Be sure to enter a valid e-mail address - that's how we will contact you if your "question" is chosen for our question of the month!

Winter Outdoor Fitness Activities

2006-12-18T23:06:00.000-05:00

Is your family like mine – every winter getting the “winter blues” with no motivation to do anything especially anything exercise related during these COLD winter months?

Every year it seems that we get into a “rut” of not doing anything outside – its cold, and with kids its hard to “remind” them that being outside is FUN even in the winter! So this year my vow is to get them moving with some fun outdoor activities!

Here are just a couple ideas – hey it can't hurt right:

Outside Workout

Gather the entire family and go outdoors for a family workout. Mom or Dad can lead the group in a fun outdoor exercise routine. Another idea is to let the kids take turns leading the group, and making it like a 'follow' the leader type activity! Or better yet play a game of tag, Frisbee, or tag football.

Jogging/Power Walk

If you’re tired of being stuck inside, get outdoors for a jog or power walk (though if your like me jogging is out, I don't jog). Jog around the block or walk a mile or two. You can add light hand weights to work your arms while you’re walking. Another alternative is to do a scavenger hunt walk – while its not as “strenuous” as a power walk, its a great way to get out of the house, get the kids involved, and have some fun – while “working out” at least a tad!

Ice Skating

Ice skating is an extremely fun form of winter exercise. When lakes are frozen, ice skaters come out of hiding and get out on the ice for lots of fun. Most kids really enjoy ice skating too. And if your anywhere close to New York – skating in front of the tree can NOT be beat!

Snow Shoeing

If you’re tired of jogging and walking, trade your sneakers for snow shoes. Snowshoeing works your leg muscles even more because you have to really lift your legs to be able to walk around. I have not tried this yet, though it sounds like fun – its not something I can do with the kids, so it will have to wait!

Hiking

Many people associate hiking only with the summer months. However, winter hiking is a totally exhilarating fitness activity. Don’t forget to bring along your digital camera so you can take pictures of the beautiful winter scenery as you explore!

Winter hiking is one of my favorites – though I usually seek out different hikes than I take in the summer months – as they are usually hilly and steep. However, Zachary Aubrey and I love to get out there and go hiking – though Zachary is usually strapped to my back, Aubrey loves to walk in front and show ME where to put my feet!

All in all, I admit its REALLY hard to “keep it moving” in the winter months, its cold and its so easy to curl up in front of a warm fire with a cup of hot chocolate – but its important and can be tons of fun to get out there and get moving! So enjoy your winter work outs!

She’s Making a List, Checking it Twice…

2006-12-05T12:38:00.000-05:00

Are you tired of running around, feeling like you don’t know if you’re coming or going during the Holidays? Christmas is so full of activities and it can get overwhelming trying to get everything done on time. Plan ahead to save yourself the hassle this year, here’s a Christmas checklist to try to help keep you on track:

Set a budget. Know exactly how much money you can spend and stick to your budget. Don’t spend one penny more. Once you have a budget in place, you will know exactly how to plan for your spending. If money is tight this can reduce a lot of stress.

Decorate your home. If your family likes to decorate both indoor and out, plan a day and have everyone in the family pitch in to decorate. Not only will it be something off your “to do list” but its a fun family project – that can be fun too!

Find a bargain. Don’t wait until the last minute to do your gift shopping. Get started early. Watch your newspaper and television for special sales, of things you know you want to get or special “toys” that have been mentioned.

Plan the meal. Be prepared for your family dinner by planning every dish. If you are going to request that every family member bring something to the dinner, make those phone calls early in December.

Mail packages. If you have family out of town that you won’t be able to visit, be sure to mail their packages in late November to early December. It’s best to mail them as early as possible, to ensure they will receive them before Christmas. The post office can also be a nightmare close to Christmas so be warned and go early!

Do your baking early. Cook and bake whatever food items you can early in the month. Some pies, candies and casseroles can be prepared ahead and frozen. Then all you have to do is defrost and warm it up for dinner. (We did - it was our tackle it!)

The most important thing you can do to be prepared is to create your own to do checklists. Some list ideas you might need are:

Christmas gifts (make sure to add who and idea's for what)
People to include:

Hubbies and/or your boss
Teacher's
Family
Friends
Menus

Holiday errands
Such as:

Trips to the post office
Stores to visit
Food to buy
Christmas card list
Guest list for Christmas dinner

Make your list and check things off as you go along, this will give you a great sense of accomplishment, keep the stress down and will help keep you on track - it’s much too easy to forget things during the holidays.

Jennifer Sprague of All Natural Mommies

Quick Pampering Tips for Moms

2006-11-22T21:56:00.000-05:00

Every mom deserves a break, and if your like me – you don't have the time to go anywhere special! Sometimes even these things are asking for to much, at least until the kids are in break! However, as mom's we need to realize that “us” time is NOT selfish – we NEED to re-build our “charge” much like you do a reusable battery! Pampering replenishes us to “fight another day!”

Here are a couple of idea's you CAN do right in your own home to “pamper yourself!” You deserve it and they can help give any mom a recharge – they have worked for me – they can work for you!

Listen to your favorite music - When was the last time you bought yourself a new CD? Whether it be one of your favorite artist's or maybe something “calming”? The cool thing about music is that you can listen to it in the car, house or anywhere these days – and I have found that when I am “singing” along it makes me calm down and relax no matter what else is going on, sometimes I have to make myself do it but – it's worth it! So why not give it a try – throw the baby in a baby carrier, or grab the kids by the hand and - turn up the volume and dance, sing, and smile!

Light some candles - Gather a few scented candles and light them for a nice soothing effect. (However, with candles – be sure to place them up high, and away from little fingers!) It's nice to keep a few of the scents you like best on hand so no matter when you need a little “pick me up” you have your favorites. Not only does it help you relax but it also makes the house smell great!

Bubble or salt bath - Fill that bath tub all the way up with some HOT water, squirt in some nice-smelling bubble bath (or add in some bath salts) and bury yourself. (You can also make your own!) Maybe even add some candles and turn off the lights, grab your favorite book, and shut out the world or turn on the radio and get singing! Scents like lavender, mint and vanilla contribute a calming aroma, and can be bought so you can just add the scent to the water and not some kind of bubble bath, if your allergic or get yeast infections.

Rose petal soak - Instead of using bubble bath or bath salts, drop some rose petals in your water just before you get ready to soak. Rose petals are a fun, different way to feel “pretty” everyone thinks of roses as such a “special” flower that when your laying in a tub full of hot water and pretty flowers, you just feel pretty – and smell it too!

Rose petal foot soak - Soak your feet for ten to twenty minutes (depending on time) in warm water with rose petals. The smell from the rose petals will have a nice calming effect on you and the foot soak is sure to be a treat for mom’s tired feet. Add a tiny bit of foot lotion, and you got yourself a great smelling foot replenishing treat!

Manicure and pedicure - What mom doesn’t deserve a nice pampering manicure and pedicure? Ask a girl friend to go with you and make a day of it, grab lunch or even coffee and get your nails (and toes – if you have time) done! What a fun way to reconnect. (Bonus: what a great way for daddy to feel like you “trust” him to be alone with the baby, and to create daddy/baby time!) However, if you are unable to afford to go out, why not stay in? Invite a girlfriend (or two) and take turns pampering each other. While leaving the kids to the daddies – or letting the daddies hang out with the kids in one of your houses and you taking the other house to do your “alone” thing.

Save face – Your face deserves it! Go buy an inexpensive tube of facial mask and soothing cream (or you can make your own). Then give yourself a facial while relaxing in the tub or soaking your feet in a rose petal foot soak. It will make your face look great, while being very relaxing!

Mother-daughter pampering - All moms need special pampering, but don’t forget to include your daughters from time to time. If you have a younger daughter, use some of these pampering tips we’ve provided for a fun mother-daughter night. Take turns giving each other facials and manicures, rubbing lotion on your feet or combing your hair. If you have an older daughter, save and plan for a special mother-daughter pampering day at the spa.

Often times us mom's do not remember that we need time to replenish our batteries – we go and go and go like the energizer bunny, never realizing that we are draining ourselves! Only to end up sick, tired and drained! We need to replenish ourselves. So don't feel guilty, indulge a little bit, and actually enjoy it – you deserve it!

Posted by: Jenn of All Natural Mommies

Car Seat Safety 101

2006-11-16T23:45:00.000-05:00

by Lynn-Marie Tayler

This is Part One in a two-part series on car seat safety.

There is a YouTube video circulating the internet (see below) that was created by a grieving family. They lost their 3-year old son in a horrific car accident when he was thrown from his seat-belt positioning booster. The video is a cautionary tale on choosing the right child restraint; had the boy been in a 5-point harness, it is possible he might have lived. No one knows for sure if that would have saved his life, nor if the cause of his death is due to seatbelt failure, but the video still serves as a grim reminder that life—especially our child’s life—is fragile and that we are obligated to do the very best we can to protect our children.

The number one killer of children under the age of 4 is automobile accidents. If that statistic doesn’t scare you enough, how about this one: 8 out of 10 carseats are either improperly used or installed. That means 80% of the children riding in their parents’ cars today are at risk for serious or fatal injury. You may be reading this thinking that it doesn’t apply to you; afterall, you read the instructions and watched the video that accompanied your child’s seat. You followed the minimum weight guidelines to the letter. The frightening fact is, however, that no matter how dilligent you think you are, there is still the possibility that your child’s safety restraint is not installed 100% correctly. “The only way to be 100% sure that your child’s safety seat is installed correctly is to have it inspected by a certified CPST or instructor,” says Melissa Marowelli, a nationally certified Child Passenger Safety Technician and mother of four. CPSTs know everything there is to know about seat safety and installation. The National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration (NHTSA) provides a 32-hour comprehensive course and requires that all prospective technicians pass both the written and hands-on end of course exams with no less than a 90%. Beginning in 2007, CPSTs must also complete six hours of refresher training to ensure they stay current on updates and recalls. These professionals provide a valuable service to the community, and usually free of charge. You can find a certified CPST near you by visiting http://www.seatcheck.org.

CPSTs have a broad range of experience with the many types of seats there are, as well as with installation techniques for different vehicles. They know the ins and outs of how different restraints work with particular vehicles, tricks and techniques to safely installing a safety seat that the average parent may not know. Which is why mistakes can occur when a parent installs their child’s safety restraint. Marowelli says the two most common mistakes are seats that are too loosely installed at the beltpath (where the LATCH or seat belts connect the safety seat to the car seat) and harness straps that are not tight enough. Safety seats should not be able to move more than 1” on either side along the beltpath, and no matter how well the seat is attached to the car, twisted or loose harness straps can cause your child to fall out of the seat or become tangled in them and choke. Parents can avoid this by:

Periodically tugging on the base of the safety seat to monitor its movement. Over time, these can loosen.
Checking the harness fit each and every time they use the seat and adjusting it as needed. The straps are tight enough if you try to pinch the webbing but cannot get enough slack to hold between your fingers.
Ensuring that straps are not twisted and lay flat against the child.
Making sure that the harness straps are at or just above the child’s shoulders. If the straps are threaded through the highest slot and still fall below the child’s shoulders, it is time to move them into a more appropriate seat.

Rear-Facing vs. Forward-Facing

Mistake can also occur when it comes time to move your child from rear-facing to forward-facing, or from one restraint type to the next. Britney Spears faced a maelstrom of criticism when pictures were snapped of her driving with her nine-month old facing forward in his seat, his head slumped over. The absolute minimum for a child to be turned forward-facing is when he or she reaches 20lbs AND 1 year of age; however, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) now recommends that children not be turned forward until they are 18-months and/or have reached the maximum weight limit for that particular rear-facing seat. Most convertible safety seats now have a maxium weight limit between 30 and 35lbs, meaning your child may be able to ride rear-facing well past his or her first birthday. It’s understandable wanting to turn your child as soon as you can. As children get older, they want to be able to see their surroundings and the view of the back of the seat can be boring for them, leading to a lot of whining and anxiety-ridden car trips. But it’s better to keep your child safe and have to endure the whining, than to put them at more risk by placating them.

To Boost or Not to Boost

Parents are often unsure of when they should move their child to a different seat, especially when to move them into a booster. “Parents should move their child when the child has reached the maximum weight limit for the seat, their shoulders are at or above the top slots in the seat, or the tops of the child’s ears are no longer contained within the hard plastic shell of the seat,” says Marowelli. “Unfortunately, many children are outgrowing their convertible seats before they are mature enough to sit properly in a booster seat.” If that is the case, Marowelli recommends purchasing a High-Weight Harness (HWH) booster. These seats incorporate a 5-point harness for children 60lbs. to 80lbs., a godsend for those of us with pre-schoolers too tall for their convertibles but too slim to use a regular seatbelt. Two such seats are the SafeGuard Go (up to 60lbs.) and the Britax Regent (up to 80lbs.). Keep in mind, also, that with forward-facing and booster seats that have top-tethers, the tethers MUST be used for correct installation! (For more explanation on LATCH and top-tethers, see section below)

If you have a children who are regularly above the 50^th percentile for height, you may also want to consider investing in a convertible seat with very tall top slots. A good resource to locate such a seat is http://www.carseatdata.org . Click on the link for “Measurements” to be taken to a database of measurements for all the seats currently on the market.

Laws vary by state, but generally speaking for safety purposes, parents should not move their child out of a booster seat until the child is around 80-100lbs, at least 4’9”, and can ride in the vehicle with their bottoms pushed against the back of the seat, their knees bent and the vehicle’s lap-should belt properly positioned over their shoulder and hip bones. Many parents erroneously believe that 40lbs. is the safe cut-off; not true, as that video can attest. If your child’s seat restraint has an upper weight limit of 40lbs., as some older models do, do not automatically assume that it is all right to move them into a seat-belt positioning booster; the safe choice is to invest in a HWH booster, as mentioned above. At no time should any child under the age of twelve, and especially those still riding in a safety seat, be allowed to sit in the front of a car with a passenger side airbag.

Understanding LATCH, Top-Tethers and Locking Clips Without An Engineering Degree

When shopping for a new (used) car, my main requirement was that it have LATCH—Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children. I was exhausted from my struggles in trying to install my daughter’s seat in our car using the seatbelt and locking clip, and wanted something that was idiot-proof. “Currently, there is no data to support that the LATCH system is safer than using a seatbelt,” says Marowelli. “Its main purpose was to give parents a much clearer and easier way to install their children’s safety seats.” This was true for me; it is much easier to take the safety seats in and out of the car, and I am able to tighten them better than I could previously. One thing I did not know until recently, and which parents should keep in mind: Anytime you use LATCH to install your seat, you must use the top tether on it. Top-tethers were made a mandatory installation in all passenger vehicles starting September 1, 2000 and required on safety seats as of September 1, 2002. In some older vehicles, the top-tether anchors are actually not found anywhere on top, but in the floor or under the seat. You should consult your car’s owner manual for the exact location. Why is this important? “Top-tethers have been shown to significantly reduce head excursion (how far the neck stretches) in crashes where the child is forward-facing.

Locking clips are slowly phasing out as more cars and seats are equipped with the easier to use LATCH system. If you must use a locking clip to keep the seat belt tight through the belt path in the seat, Marowelli reminds parents to:

Never use a locking clip on a lap-only belt.
The locking clip should be no more than 1” away from the bucklehead of the seatbelt that it is being used on.
If for some reason the locking clip needs to be installed in a different position, ONLY a certified CPST should perform the installation.

When Good Seats Go Bad

Did you know that safety seats have an expiration date on them? Most seats are considered safe to use up to six years from date of manufacture, which can be found imprinted on the plastic shell on all seats made after September 1, 2002. After that, the plastic can break down and render the seat useless for protection. If you are scouring consignment shops and tag sales looking for a good deal on a used seat--STOP! Not only is it difficult to ascertain how old the seat is, even if it is not past its expiration date, you do not know if it has ever been in an accident, something which can also damage the sturdiness of the shell. It can be expensive buying a seat brand new, but would you buy milk for your child that is past its expiration date? Why take the same chance with your child’s safety in the car?

Many parents don’t realize that if they are in a car accident, even a minor one, their child’s safety seat may need to be replaced. Both Evenflo and Graco state in their owner manuals that their seats should be replaced after any accident, even a little parking lot fender bender. Britax recommends contacting them if you have any questions about whether to replace their seat after a collision, but, says Marowelli, a good rule of thumb is “if you cannot drive the vehicle away from the scene of the crash, you MUST replace the carseat regardless of the brand.” If you ever have any questions about whether to replace or not, it’s always best to err on the side of caution. Even a small accident can put strain on the seat’s plastic.

Many of us hear of stories like Kyle’s, but it can be hard for us to fathom that the same thing can happen to our families. We need to take these tragedies to heart, so that we can do all we can to prevent them from becoming our own tragedies. Your child’s safety starts and ends with you—become informed and remain vigilant always.

Strategies to help boost your child's self esteem

2006-11-13T14:59:00.000-05:00

Self esteem in an important quality for all children to have. As parents, you can help to boost your child's self esteem by following the steps below:

Model good self-esteem: Express through your actions and words that you respect yourself. Children are wonderful at imitating what they see and hear. Remember, you are your child's best role model.

Create positive routines: Young children need routines to help them to feel secure and competent. Try to set a good schedule for bedtime, rest/naps, meals, etc. Try to keep exceptions to the routine to a minimum and explain any necessary changes if/when they occur.

Allow many opportunities for children to contribute to the family: Give your child a job/chore that only he/she does for the family. Even a small job can have a positive lasting impact on your child's self esteem.

Talk about the world in positive terms: Even though there is negativity in the world, don't dwell on it with your child. When with your child, be sure to point out the many positive things in the world.

Spend time with your child: Remember quality is more important than quantity. Even if you spend just 30 minutes with your child one on one -- playing games, taking walks, having long bedtime chats, or just snuggling in front of the TV, spending time with your child shows them that you value their company.

Give your child choices: Giving your child choices between a reasonable set of options that are already predetermined by you will make them feel empowered.

Article by:
Aurelia Williams is the mom of four busy children, a Personal Life Coach and the owner of Real Life Solutions, which is an informational site that also offers products, articles and a great newsletter. You can also hear Aurelia daily on the WAHM Talk Radio show, she is the Resident Life Coach

The Importance of a 5-Point Harness Carseat

2006-11-05T21:29:00.000-05:00

The carseat debate rages on - parents today are unsure of what's best or what's right - I myself have had questions - I stopped putting my daughter in a car seat at the age of 3 and put her into a booster - with my son - he will be 3 in just days (on the 13 th of Nov.) and is still and will continue to be in a 5 point harness car seat! - This video just imbeds that thought into my head even more so...

Please share it with your friends, neighbors or anyone you know with children - but beware, it's quite sad!

Why Is The Salad Brown?

2006-10-26T20:36:00.000-05:00

Confessions of a Former Neat Freak

When I rolled over in bed this morning and saw the bag of salad sitting on my night table next to me, I knew then that I had finally crossed the line. I’m not sure exactly where the line was, or even what it looked like, because it was no doubt covered with wet towels, stray socks, and perhaps, even, my oven mitt. But a line had, indeed, been crossed.

The change from neat-freak to the person I am today was slow and gradual. It snuck up on me, insidious, silent, like a bad smell that you somehow don’t notice anymore because you’ve grown used to smelling it.

In my former life, my best friend Diane called me Mrs. Applebee. I’m not sure where she came up with that name, but to her it represented prim, proper, neat, and organized. Diane made fun of me because I picked up my living room nightly before going to bed. She found it amazing that I vacuumed most every day, and made my bed every morning. She laughed because I washed, dried, and put away all the dishes immediately after every meal. She was stunned that I folded all the laundry the instant the dryer buzzed, before it even had time to cool off, and then put everything away. In the drawers.

I should have known I was getting close to the line when, a few weeks ago, I needed to bake a cake. Without giving it a second thought, I went straight to the kids’ bathroom toy tub and retrieved one of the beaters to my electric mixer. Another clue should have been when the pizza cutter went missing for several days. My teenage son was frantic (“I NEED that utensil, mom!), so I told him to check under the couch cushions. When my teenage daughter needed to use the cutting board, I nonchalantly told her, “It’s in my bathtub, next to the box of sanitary pads that Luke (our 2 year old) dumped in there the other day.”

Last week my husband was complaining that I hadn’t decorated the house yet for Halloween. “Just look around,” I told him. “There are plenty of cobwebs, why do we need to spend money? Besides, most of the decorations require a clear, flat surface on which to be set. We don’t own a clear flat surface.”

When I first became a stay-at-home mom, I was a pro. Of course, our two children were at school all day, and baby number three was on the way, so it was easy enough to keep up. Each day of the week was spent cleaning and organizing the house. The play room had bins where each toy was categorized and lovingly placed. The kitchen floor was always swept and mopped. The kitchen cabinets were organized. Most afternoons, fresh baked cookies were being taken from the oven, just as the bus pulled up to drop the kids off after school. Dinners were balanced…meat, fresh vegetables, fruit, milk. And after dinner, the dishes were all washed, dried, and put away.

But then we had more children. And then more children. And now we have six. And then I had a great idea to start my own business from home. Soon, I noticed the walls of the house seemed to be closing in. Or maybe those aren’t the walls, but just the toys and shoes and books and Legos that find their homes around the perimeter of every room in my house.

So, why was the salad sitting on my night table this morning? Because my 2 year old loves salad, and last evening he brought it into my bedroom (where I was working) and asked if he could have some. I told him no, took the salad from him, placed it on my night table (fully intending to put it away when he was otherwise occupied), and didn’t give it another thought until bedtime. At that point, my husband told me he’d put it away when he got up after the news to take the dog out.

Apparently, either the dog didn’t get taken out, or he just forgot about the salad.

About the Author. Lisa Pallardy is a work-at-home mother of 6 children and 1 dog. She owns http://www.BarkTalk.com specializing in New Puppy Announcements, as well as gifts for dogs and dog lovers.