an englishman in osaka

a japanese clown in osaka

2008-07-05T15:38:00.003+09:00

Sure, New York has the Empire State Building, but really it’s little more than a big block of concrete with a funny-shaped top. Oh yeah London, nice try with Big Ben, but you’re not fooling anyone. Paris? Come on, what’s the Eiffel Tower all about anyway? Pyramids of Egypt? Don’t make me laugh. Sydney Opera House? Apparently it’s the size of a terraced house in Manchester. Tiananmen Square? There's nothing even there.

When it comes to iconic city symbols, look no further than Osaka.

I bet you've already got an image in your mind. No, not the Hanshin Tigers. And forget the octopus balls. The fact is, when Osaka comes up in conversation, most people say one of two things. Either:

1. What's Osaka?
or
2. Oh yes, that's the city with a true iconic symbol, isn't it.

And here it is:

Most people say he's a clown, but to me he looks like a salaryman on his way to a fancy dress party. I mean, I thought clowns had funny hair and red noses. Hang on a minute, so do most salarymen. But they don’t usually go around in fancy dress, right?

Salarymen on their way to work.

The fella’s name is Kuidaore Taro, and since 1950 he’s been banging his big drum outside his restaurant (Cui-daore) in Dotonbori, wondering what all the fuss is about.

At first glance he looks pretty expressionless, but on closer inspection you'll notice subtle mouth and eyebrow movements, allowing him to display a vast array of emotions. This entertains the kids no end.....

Surprise.....

Mischievousness....

Psychopathic anger....

The tragic news is that on Tuesday the restaurant will close and so Kuidaore Taro, along with his drum, will finally be dispatched to that great circus in the sky.

As a result of his imminent demise, his popularity has soared and the number of people turning up from across the country to have their photo taken alongside him has increased tenfold.

There are plenty of salarymen lining up for a shot too, of course....

But over the years Kuidaore Taro has, not surprisingly, grown somewhat weary of his daily duty....

A mechanically real woman a few doors down is hoping to become the new city icon once Kuidaore Taro has gone, but so far no one's interested....

And so in just a few days Kuidaore Taro will be taken down and quite possibly broken into small pieces.

Dotonbori loses a drummer in a clown suit and the city of Osaka loses an icon.

puny parks

2008-06-28T10:29:00.006+09:00

All too often, people complain about the puny parks that can be found the length and breadth of Japan.

Detractors can often be heard making snide remarks about these playgrounds of fun. "Oooh, it looks so grey," or "Kids will get depressed there," or even "It looks like a piece of shit."

But what has to be kept in mind is that Japan has more playgrounds per square kilometre than any other country on the planet. This is because they like to utilise every little scrap of land solely for the development and enjoyment of the little ones.

A piece of wasteland? Put a slide on it. A square metre of mud next to a highway? Perfect for a roundabout. Some blades of grass jammed between a factory and an electricity sub-station? Lay some concrete and build some swings on it.

The parks may be puny, but they are also proud. Proud to be puny.

An almost pointless park.

Hours of fun will probably not be had here.

Osaka is also home to the country's puniest park....

But there's no getting away from it. The parks aren't just puny. Some are just plain depressing.....

....and even a little neglected....

....while others contain stolen artefacts from Pacific islands....

The inhabitants of Easter Island had been wondering where the missing statue was. Now the truth is out.

fugu fact file

2008-06-19T15:13:00.047+09:00

Fugu is a fish that's out to fug you up.

It's got poison inside it, and you don't need to be Einstein to realise that poison + human = mortuary c²

The poison, tetrodotoxin, is 1200 times more lethal than cyanide. Ingestion causes almost instant death, a real nuisance if all you’re after is a bite to eat.

In Japan, fugu (aka blow fish, puffer fish, and testicleattackerfish) is a delicacy and has to be eaten delicately.

Only licensed chefs are permitted to prepare fugu. If any old Tom, Dick or Hiroshi does it, you may well get fugged over. So be sure to look for this sign outside restaurants which shows that the chef has the appropriate fugu license….

Some advice – if you order a fugu course, which usually includes fugu soup, fugu-don, fugu tempura etc, be sure to say “oishkatta” (“that was delicious”) very loudly after each course. Do NOT say anything negative about the food, even if it tastes like crap. Remember – the chef has your life in his hands and you wouldn't want to upset him or cause offence.

Most fugu restaurants have a big tank in the front window by the entrance so that the fish can see who will soon be eating them....

When a fugu fish senses danger, it puffs up into the shape of a big ball. Unfortunately for the fugu, this has been noticed by certain sports associations, causing it to sometimes be used in place of the usual spherical object....

mi aerodeslizador es lleno de anguilas

2008-06-13T21:22:00.039+09:00

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel like going to Spain but I can't be bothered because it's too far.

So imagine my delight upon learning that there's another Spain! Even better, it's on the doorstep of the residents of Osaka! Welcome to Spain Village, full of Spanish buildngs, Spanish food, Spanish people (and some Italian things too).....

Hang on a minute, isn't that a copy of La Bocca della Verita, aka the Mouth of Truth? Found in Rome.......in Italy.......not Spain.......

Unlike the real Spain, you have to pay to get into this one. But once you're in, it's quite possibly more fun than the real thing.

To make it feel like you're really entering another country, you have to take your passport and go through immigration. Photographs and fingerprints are also taken.

The officials at Spain Village are much more cheerful than the real ones.

Take a leisurely stroll around the grounds of Spain Village and enjoy the ambience of Spain and the smell of a giant paella being cooked by Spanish chefs of Japanese origin.....

Tasty paella, with flying insects for extra flavour.

Entire authentic village squares were carefully imported direct from Spain - often without the permission or knowledge of the village residents who awoke the next morning to find only mud.....

Even Xavier Castle was brought over....

Spain, with Japan in the background.

The park is full of surprises - like this - a reconstruction of the deconstructed Roman Forum.....in.......ahem.......Rome......

Spain? Italy? It's all the same in'it?

Spanish hamburgers (with Spanish fries) can be bought at various spots throughout the village....

There's even a funfair where you can have a fair amount of fun, but not too much.....

Oh, the sheer joy.....

....and sheer horror.....

This boy has probably just soiled his trousers. Lord knows what his mother's just done in hers.

....and sheer terror....

This poor little lad now has a complex about Spain and all things Spanish.

After the rides, go and see the parade. It's full of Spanish people with Irish accents. Truly international!

A replica of the Spanish prime minister and his wife.

A performer takes a dislike to one of the kids, slapping him around the face.

Genital warts make a surprise appearance....

Genital warts - are they really necessary in a Spain-related parade?

These two tried to do a high-five but suddenly found they both had repelling magnets sewn into the palms of their hands. Ten minutes they were stuck in this position, trying to make contact, before finally giving up and moving on....

Some performers weren't afraid to scare the children with facial expressions resembling infamous Spanish psychopaths of yesteryear....

Spanish Eyes (and a bit of tongue, too).

come on you blues!

2008-06-08T18:53:00.006+09:00

Euro 2008, the big football tournament held every four years, has just kicked off in Switzerland and Austria.

Unfortunately England failed to qualify because they're not very good. In the hope of improving the quality of the team, they recently got an Italian manager, but what they actually need are Italian players.

The borders of Europe are growing ever wider, so wide in fact that Japan managed to qualify for the tournament this time around. They're in Group B, with a fair chance of getting through to the next stage.

Group A
1 Portugal
2 Czech Republic
3 Switzerland
4 Turkey

Group B
1 Austria
2 Japan
3 Germany
4 Poland

Group C
1 France
2 Netherlands
3 Italy
4 Romania

Group D
1 Greece
2 Russia
3 Spain
4 Sweden

The Japan national football team, hoping to do well at Euro 2008.

The 1966 England team that won the World Cup. It was so long ago that most of them are now deceased.

The matches are being shown live on Japanese TV but the time difference means most matches are on in the early hours. This will likely result in many people catching up on their sleep in the daytime.

A Japanese football fan on his way to work....

a green japan

2008-05-29T23:52:00.028+09:00

On a recent visit to the upmarket meat and rice restaurant Matsuya, I couldn't help noticing that, in a step to save the environment from imminent destruction, the food chain has done away with disposable chopsticks in favour of reusable ones that need to be washed at high temperatures with gallons of water and plenty of detergent. It's good to see that at least one company is taking steps towards making the world a greener place.

Disposable chopsticks have been totally abandoned by Matsuya.

And with summer just around the corner, Cool Biz has just kicked off, too. This is where, in order to lessen the negative impact of air-conditioners on the environment, offices across the nation switch them off, leading to a lot of moist patches on office seats. In return, salarymen are permitted to remove their ties and OL's their bras.

It's traditional for the prime minister of the day to kick-off the Cool Biz campaign by calling a press conference in Cool Biz attire. Unfortunately, Prime Minister Fukuda is believed to have misread the memo that was recently sent around government departments by the Environment Agency.

The memo said: "For Cool Biz, lose only the tie." But Fukuda apparently read it as: "For Cool Biz, use only the tie."

This resulted in a slightly embarrassing appearance in front of the nation's press.

For Cool Biz, Koizumi dressed in a neat little blue number.

Abe opted for a pyjama top.

But Fukuda messed up big time.

Fukuda gives Cool Biz the thumbs up.

In Osaka, the municipal government has recently banned neon lights in the Dotonbori area of the city in an effort to save electricity costs and help the environment. Unfortunately the atmosphere there isn't quite what it used to be.

Dotonbori by night.

It's not just local governments that are trying to save the planet. Hobby scientist Mitsufuji Yamomotomoto has developed a car engine that runs only on miso soup. There is one slight problem though - it doesn't work.

A gas guzzling turbo truck tows away Mitsufuji's work in progress.

How a green Japan might look:

roaches of the cock

2008-05-25T14:47:00.044+09:00

No, I'm not talking about some hitherto unknown venereal disease. I'm talking about those pesky little creatures that sometimes turn up in your house when the weather starts warming up. Like round about now...

So here's a guide to the ones you will be meeting this summer:

The Drawer Dweller
The Drawer Dweller likes to hang out in kitchen drawers, hoping to cause maximum surprise. At first it just lies still, blending in with the bits and pieces cluttering up the drawer. However, when your hand goes in, it springs into life. The best course of action is to slam the drawer shut. When you open it again, it'll be gone. Until next time.

The Flying Fugger
Sadly, some people don't know that cockroaches can fly. The Flying Fugger likes to spread its wings when cornered. It usually waits till it detects a look of confidence on your face as you hover over it with a pan of boiling water. It'll then lift off, fly erratically for a few seconds before passing close to your face and then out through an open window or into a dark cupboard.

The Shit Eater
Contrary to its name, the Shit Eater prefers crumbs of food to bits of poo. Leave morsels on the sideboard in your kitchen at your peril. It likes to appear when you're watching TV, waiting for the best angle which will cause you to see it just out of the corner of your eye. Chasing it is futile. It will be gone before you're even on your feet.

The Roach Runner
All cockroaches are fast, but this is the fastest. It'll run in a straight line across the floor, from one corner to another. You'll think you saw something. You won't be certain. But wait a few minutes and you'll see it again. It may pause half way across the room, but this is just to taunt you.

The Toilet Seat Surpriser
Known to carry its own set of keys for flats in the neighbourhood, the Toilet Seat Surpriser usually enters the premises under the cover for darkness. It likes to lie in wait under the toilet seat for the flat dweller to come along at about 4am for an early morning bladder clearance session. Awoken by the flow of water hitting the bowl, the Toilet Seat Surpriser will then hurl itself from the seat and scuttle over your feet several times. Things can get messy, especially if you're a guy.

The Big Mother
This is the size of a large gerbil and has been known to eat small children. It's not as fast other cockroaches, but is so big and mean that it's quite happy to square up to any human who thinks they can take it on. Extermination methods can be read about here.

The Dreaded Dogroach
This could well be the most hideous of all cockroaches. It looks like a sickeningly cute dog demanding attention. As you reach out to stroke it or adjust its silly hat, it suddenly mutates into the ugliest of all cockroaches - still wearing the same ridiculous clothes.

the cemetery - a poem

2008-05-17T21:54:00.001+09:00

The final resting place,
Steady and still.

After a life of toil,
And maybe,
Some smiles.

For eternity,
And ever and ever,
And a bit longer.

A peaceful place,
A place of tranquility,

Apart from the gentle humming sound,
That emanates,
From the electricity sub-station,
Just across the way.

A gentle buzz,
A few thousand volts,
Cannot disturb those,
Who do the long sleep.

But what a cruel irony,
If any of those here,

Copped it from electrocution.

ikea watanabe

2008-05-10T10:00:00.001+09:00

While having lunch with a friend recently, the conversation turned to the furniture giant, Ikea, which recently opened a store on Port Island in Kobe.

She was saying how much she was looking forward to tasting some Swedish meatballs. From the tone of her voice, I wasn’t sure if she was talking about the country’s cuisine in the store's restaurant or if she was hoping to find a dishy Swedish shop assistant to spend the night with.

My suspicions were confirmed when I asked her what else was on the restaurant menu, to which she replied, "There's a restaurant?"

The Swedish meatballs are the brown ones. The elephant balls are the yellow ones.

I decided to go along to see what all the fuss is about. On the streets leading to the store for some miles out, there were several signposts like this....

A bored board man attached to a board.

There was also an endless stream of cars pouring into the store's car park. This man was working his baton so hard and fast that shortly after this photo was taken he suffered a hernia....

This is how a man looks just before suffering a hernia.

The doors opened at 10 sharp and in poured a crowd of enthusiastic shoppers. It was great fun. The atmosphere was electric.

Electric people.

But soon after, things started to go awry.

The new store is claiming to be the biggest Ikea in the world. And they're probably right. In fact, it might be bigger than some medium-sized countries.

Wandering around the store, it's easy to lose your orientation. Even easier to forget the time. Some people had even forgotten their own names and could be seen shuffling about aimlessly with expressionless faces and vacant stares. Others were just looking at the ground, dribbling.

The place reminded me of a Las Vegas casino - little natural daylight, no clearly marked exits and no clocks. The only thing missing was the free beer.

The store is so enormous that it'll likely take you a very long time to get out. My advice is, if you're going to go there, cancel all other engagements for the next 14 days.

A customer asks why there are no exits shown on her map.

I spoke to some people that had been stuck in there since opening day a month ago. They had rancid body odour and big beards. The men weren't in much better shape either.

While I was there, a woman who had clearly been in the store for several weeks gave birth to a baby in the kitchen utensils section. A nearby plunger (price 600 yen) came in handy during the delivery. It was a little girl. They named her Ikea. Ikea Watanabe.

There are computer terminals dotted around the store that seem to be for the sole purpose of teasing customers who are desperate to get out. "Find it!" it says of the exit. Meaningless clues appear on the monitor such as: "It's a door to the east, but not on the east side."

"We're trying! We're trying!" Two weary shoppers failing to solve the clues.

Granted, they've kindly laid out a number of beds for those stuck in overnight, but there aren't nearly enough of them.

Beds for shoppers stuck in the store for another night.

I stumbled across a computer terminal with a message from the manager asking for customer comments....

I knew it would be futile, but in desperation I left a simple question.....

After several days, I caught wind of a commotion in the corner of the sofa section. Someone had found the exit, a small door to the outside world. About 20 of us scrambled through the gap to freedom. A young couple who had just bought a small bed couldn't get it through the space so they had to saw it into little bits first.

But we were free. It was at this point when I saw the queues. There were hundreds of innocents waiting to get inside, not knowing the fate that awaited them (apart from a couple who had a tent with them).

And in that moment, those long lines brought to mind iconic queueing photos from days gone by.....

Queueing for food - England, 1944

Queueing for jobs - Poland, 1982

Queueing for home furnishings - Japan, 2008

paint pigment palava

2008-05-03T07:02:00.001+09:00

When it comes to cars, the Japanese don't do colourful.

Black, white or something in between is the preferred choice of paint type here.

This phenomenon is a direct result of pigment shortages due to import restrictions imposed by the government more than 20 years ago.

It's widely believed that the powers that be wish to prevent people from expressing themselves through the colour of their cars.

A recent magazine article attempted to describe people's personalities according to the colour of their vehicle. It was a short article:

You are what you drive:

White: You like to fit in. You don't want to rock the boat.

Black: You have a melancholic nature.

Grey: You are indecisive.

Blue/red/pink/yelllow/orange/brown/green: Weirdo.

Even all the lorries are white....

Some people have thrown caution to the wind and got really creative, mixing things up a bit to surprise their family, friends, and people that don't like them too....

A car with surprising black stripes.

Others have taken things a step further and mixed the blood of slaughtered Kobe cows with regular white paint in an effort to splash a bit of colour onto the roads. The problem is that when it rains, that's exactly what happens. And in the summer it stinks worse than a skunk's scrotum....

A car that whiffs worse than the nether regions of a Mephitis mephitis.

In desperation for a bit of non-animal-blood colour, some people import classic old cars from England....

A car belonging to a desperate person.

the olympic torched

2008-04-27T21:53:00.042+09:00

The Olympic flame has been having a somewhat fiery journey across the continents on its way to Beijing, but in terms of eventfulness, Japan appears to have taken the gold.

Yesterday it came to Nagano, a leafy suburb on the outskirts of Tokyo. Many people turned out to get a glimpse of the sacred flame and to cheer on the relay runners carrying it.

But following recent Tibet-related protests in other countries, Nagano police were keen to ensure that there would be no such disruptions in Japan.

This resulted in Nagano officials deciding to scale down the course that the torch runners would take. The original route would have seen the sacred flame carried through mangroves and industrial estates, over a distance of 11 miles.

The original plan was to have 80 runners each having their turn at carrying the torch in a relay-style run. But the revised route would've resulted in each runner holding the torch for just 1.63 seconds. This would've probably looked like a mass brawl, which could well have attracted the attention of the police, so 78 torch bearers were discarded.

The crowd was more than displeased with the new arrangements as it meant that they might not get a glimpse of the hallowed torch.

Nagano officials wanted a peaceful, harmonious, incident-free relay, and that's exactly what they didn't get.

Thanks to a heavy police presence, a frustrated crowd and a freak gust of wind, it all went horribly wrong.

However, it started well, with broad smiles and a whiff of optimism in the air.

Prior to the start of the relay, members of the public were given the opportunity to grip the torch as tightly as possible.

The relay gets under way.

The police had promised to deal with any protesters using a softly-softly approach, and it wasn't long before they had a chance to demonstrate this tactic when a protester lunged for the torch bearer.

Police politely ask the man to refrain from lunging.

Midway through the relay, the fateful gust of wind blew strong and hard, causing the torch to set fire to the second runner.

However, the police failed to notice, being too wrapped up with other business....

It was only when the flaming runner took drastic action to put out the fire that the police realised there was an incident to deal with....

The torch holder leaps majestically into a river, performing a near perfect double somersault and tucked triple salco before hitting the water like a concrete slab.

Meanwhile the fire spread and took hold of the entire city.

The low point of the afternoon came when the innocent Piwi the Penguin (the animal mascot of Nagano) was knocked to the ground by riot police who mistook him for a deranged psychopath when actually it was just a yakitori shop owner trying to inject some fun into the proceedings.

Floored: Piwi is now in intensive care.

Tonight, Nagano is little more than a smouldering mass of charred chopsticks and frazzled penguin feathers.

Nagano smokes.

helpful feet

2008-04-15T21:31:00.015+09:00

The people of Osaka will no longer have to worry about accidentally strolling into the path of an oncoming truck now that local government officials have come up with the ingenious idea of painting feet onto the streets to show pedestrians exactly where to stop.

Instructions for use:
1. Approach painted feet at a steady but sensible speed.
2. Slow down just as you reach painted feet.
3. Carefully place your feet on painted feet.
4. Look left. Look right. Listen.
5. If clear, proceed in an orderly manner.

A pair of painted feet in the middle of the road. Not much good if a lorry is approaching from behind.

The streets of Osaka are now safer thanks to these helpful feet.

JC in Japan

2008-04-12T22:48:00.032+09:00

Bored of Buddhism?

Shying away from Shintoism?

Well fear God not because there's a new kid on the block - and his initials are JC.

Take a stroll down your street and He'll soon give you a sign - a sign in the form of a cross - a cross standing tall and proud, taller and prouder than the omnipresent TV aerials which compete daily for heavenly space.

And don't forget - JC's signal is the strongest in town - and he's broadcasting to you on a wavelength different to that of NHK.

JC's churches in Japan all feature their very own non-authentic stained glass windows, placed religiously behind regular wire-mesh windows to give you the best possible ethereal experience.

JC's doors are always open, come breakfast, lunch or dinner.

And if you're worried about the culinary side of Christianity in Japan, then hold it right there - it's not all holy bread and red wine. Attend a sermon here and you'll be happily served a starter of seared serendipity, a main of marinated miracle and a dessert of delicately roasted religious doctrine (a side dish of sanctification is optional).

So don't delay. Meet JC today. He's waiting for your prayer.

sakura shambles

2008-04-05T18:32:00.022+09:00

Formula:
spring + Japan = cherry blossom celebrations

In Japan, the appearance of the pretty pink petals means that public parks up and down the archipelago will be packed with party people partying till they go positively potty. Except in Osaka.

This year, it's all gone a bit wrong.

When the authorities planted the seeds for the blossoms a few months back, little did they know that a mix-up of astronomical proportions had been made.

It was only when the buds bloomed last week that they realised they'd planted the wrong seeds. So this year there are no pink blossoms in Osaka. Only yellow ones.

For the first time since hanami (blossom viewing) was invented 22 years ago, the people of Osaka are faced with having to postpone their parties.

Last Tuesday, on the official day of blooming, people awoke expecting to see their city awash in a beautiful sea of pink. Instead they were faced with this....

Sadly, they're nowhere near being anything like pink.

Pretty, but the wrong colour.

Farmers across the city are hurriedly planting new seeds in the hope that little pink cherry blossoms will bloom later this month, but inside their heads they know it's too late.

A farmer on a miniature tractor works in vain for the people of Osaka.

Some cherry blossom plants are just beginning to show, but they won't be ready until at least December....

At the same time last year, this park was filled with people drinking lots of beer and sake while enjoying the cherry blossoms and lots of beer and sake....

....but now it stands empty because everything has turned yellow.

Some people have taken to partying under pink potted plants, but it's just not the same....

A potted plant is clearly no substitute for the real thing.

Is THIS the man responsible for the shambles?

Probably not.

A friendly person.

loot-saving fruit

2008-03-30T15:46:00.008+09:00

Anyone who has had the pleasure of visiting a supermarket in Japan will be well aware that the cost of fruit can sometimes be a bit on the expensive side.

A recent trip to my local food-selling establishment had this shiny selection on sale for 5,000 yen (about 25 British quids), each piece of fruit with its own protective padding to stop it getting damaged should it be necessary to use it as an offensive weapon.

For some people, the prohibitive cost of fruit here means forgoing its healthy benefits.

However, if you're prepared to look around a bit, you can find some real bargains. Like this rather inviting selection of oranges I stumbled upon recently, which turned out to make a really tasty fruit salad - once I'd picked out the grit of course....

Free fruit. Spoon and bowl included.

the city that never was

2008-03-23T19:36:00.001+09:00

They built a city.

But no one came.

Jump on a train heading east out of Osaka and in just over 30 minutes you'll come to Otsu, a city built 20 years ago at the southern end of Lake Biwa.

But when they finished building it, no one went to live there.

So now it stands deserted, inhabited only by the cold winds that blow in from Lake Biwa. Like a great sports stadium, Otsu has a capacity of 100,000 - but an attendance of zero.

Taxi drivers outside the station ponder what has become known as The Great Otsu Planning Fiasco.....

Trains stop at Otsu Station, but no one gets off....

or on....

It's a city of deserted streets....

....a city of unattended lemons....

Inset: lemons

.....a city of unimaginatively named buildings....

....of playgrounds not full of children....

....a place where electronics retail giant Yodobashi Camera opened a smaller-than-usual store to adequately cope with the lack of customers....

....a city with evidence of alien visitations. These mysterious Quorn Circles are of particular interest to scientists.

An Otsu noticeboard lists upcoming events that will be attended by no one.

Here's a photo of the annual Otsu Festival of Light in full swing....

An Otsu bus timetable clearly shows that if you arrive at this bus stop at 7.57, you're going to be in for a bit of a wait....

.....as for Sundays, best bring a sleeping bag and a good book....

In a country well known for its crowded urban areas, Otsu may come as a pleasant surprise. It may also leave you feeling a tad spooked.

spot the differentiations

2008-03-15T11:26:00.012+09:00

At this time of year, there's no better way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon than poring over an interesting spot the difference puzzle or two.

So here's one I've created for people of a similar disposition.

Simply print off the two almost identical pictures - one of an American school bus, the other of a Japanese school bus.

Then, using your powers of observation, circle the 748 differences (625 if using a non-colour printer).

Good luck!

An American school bus.

A Japanese school bus - fun for children on the outside.