aetheric shade

The Peanut That Came From Outer Space

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:37:58 -0800

Laying things to rest.

It's been well over a month since my grandma passed. It's been harder than expected on all of us. My mom had not been back inside grandma's house until just last week. I still have not ventured back in. I think we've all been kind of keeping ourselves busy with work, the upcoming holidays, and even some remodeling. My mom and I have been a bit lax in making out Thank You cards, but not one card, plant, or other thoughtful gift has gone unthankful or unappreciated. One card I was surprised to find was from Tiffany and Deidra. I was very pleased when I read the name on the address, and even more so when the card was signed from both of them. I've got it hidden away in my top dresser drawer. Thank you ladies. I have not dismissed that card one bit. We really need to get together. Put away all that old stuff, y'know?

The funeral was a terrible ordeal, emotionally. I don't like funerals. I think it just tortures the surviving family and friends even more. I just tried not to think about why I was there and focused on greeting the family. It was a closed-casket, so that helped alot. It's just weird to sit around while a loved one is on display. The service went on for quite awhile, and I was squirming the whole time wanting it to be over. At the cemetery we released balloons in my grandma's honor. I thought that was pretty weird, but I didn't say anything. I knew any opinion I had would hurt my mom's already fragile feelings.

As of now my grandma's place remains. There's still the process of going through her things and then having the place hauled out. There's not one day that goes by that I don't expect her living room light to be on with her sitting in her chair. I didn't think it would be this hard. I figured when her time came, it would be a blessing for her. Those suffering from dementia is not only hard for their loved-ones, but I imagine they cannot be happy themselves. This woman helped raise me, and now she's gone. I'm trying to think of stuff like that rather than how she passed.

And now for something more alien.

he's no longer a peanut

I am now 18 weeks pregnant! We found out on Tuesday that we are having a boy. No names have been agreed upon yet. For awhile I was scared to death, which is why I haven't been saying much about the pregnancy. I guess I'm just a freak. I know the first trimester is crucial, so I was paranoid with worry over having a miscarriage. I don't like being pregnant. I suppose most women do, but again..I'm weird. I feel terrible all the time. My migraines have tripled. I basically have one every day. I can't really take anything for them though. The doc did prescribe some migraine meds, but as with all migraine meds, they have to be taken at the onset of a migraine. Soooo when I wake up with a hardcore migraine, I just have to suffer through it. Yay. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited as hell about the baby! I just want the stork to drop him off already.

My doctor is Elizabeth Riseling over at Methodist Germantown. I really like her, which is an uncommon sentiment about doctors for me. I don't usually trust/like doctors. They're vampires, I tell you! She makes me feel comfortable though.

I'm due on May 9, the month of birthdays surrounding me. There's my grandma's (May 11), Drew's (May 23), my papaw's (May 24), and mine (May 31). Unless the baby refuses to come out til the 22nd, I'm having a Taurus boy. Heaven help us! Now if we can only figure out a name..

Requiem for a Flame

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 08:06:47 -0800

No one ever wants to imagine that their home or the home of their loved ones will ever have a fire. But that's exactly what happened on Monday.

I woke up around 5:30 a.m. because I couldn't sleep, and of course my cure for everything is a nice warm bath. Also I couldn't wait to get back to my book - I've been reading Shirley Conran's classic trashy novel of sex, deceit, and Lace. Everyone remembers it as the made-for-TV movie where Phoebe Cates demands to know, "Which one of you bitches is my mother?". I was in the bath when I heard my dad come inside and say, "Barb, I think your mother's house is on fire." I immediately jumped out of the tub and dressed hurriedly. I kept thinking it couldn't possibly be true, perhaps it was just something burning in the stove. I ran out behind my dad to my grandma's front porch and unlocked the door. When I opened it, clouds of black smoke roiled out. There really was a fire. I couldn't get inside: there was too much smoke. I ran back to my place to get some boots and a blanket to wrap around me. I thought maybe if I could pull that over me, I would be able to get inside. As soon as I hit my door, I yelled to Paul and told him what was going on. Running back for the porch, my mom was sitting in the rocking chair beside the door, sobbing and holding it open. I still couldn't get inside. Every time I tried, I was quickly choked with smoke. I ran back inside my mom's house, where my dad was trying to call 911. Our home phone wasn't working, so I grabbed my cell and called. Back outside my dad and I went to the back of Grandma's house, and there we could see inside her living room window that there was a blaze. Dad grabbed the hose beside his shop, and I helped him haul it to the window. He broke the window and started coating everything with water.

I left him with the hose when I heard sirens, so I ran to the driveway to direct the firetrucks in. They got out, and I yelled that there was someone inside. It seemed forever before any of them took action. I kept telling them my grandmother was inside. A few of the firefighters went inside finally. Seems my dad actually put out the fire, so all that was left was the sea of dismal smoke. The firefighters had to cut the power, so they disabled everything at my grandmother's house and proceeded trying to find her. I thought there was hope she had gotten out of the house and was safe somewhere outside. By this time our neighbors Tony and Judy had come to help, so Judy and I walked all around calling for my grandma. We didn't find her. Finally after awhile the firemen confirmed they had found my grandmother inside. She had already passed, though they couldn't tell if it was from smoke inhalation, heart attack, etc.

My mom throughout the whole ordeal was inconsolable. She kept saying, "What did I do?". She was blaming herself. In times of crisis, I just sort of shut down. I put my feelings and horrors aside and do whatever is necessary to help. After we found out my grandma was inside, the whole family just stayed to the side. By this time my brother and his wife had made it to the house. We all huddled around my mom. After what seemed like forever, one of the firemen came over to us. It was a guy that my brother had grown up with, played baseball and such. It was good to see a familiar, friendly face in the mess of unfamiliar firemen standing around everywhere. Scott let us know that a state investigator would have to come out in order to start a preliminary investigation on what caused the fire. The coroner showed up a bit after that. He was an older man, a country gentleman. He shook my and Paul's hands and told us how sorry he was for what was happening. By this time I had to change, ecause I kept smelling smoke on myself. My brother had one of the paramedics give oxygen to my mom, because she had actually made it inside farther than I did and inhaled enough to smoke to keep tasting it long after she had gone inside the smoky house. After that there was much waiting. Waiting on the fire inspector. Waiting to see what started the fire. For myself, I kept wondering if my grandmother had gotten burned. The investigators arrived, went inside, and then started their reports. They asked my dad and me questions about the events concerning what we had seen, and how we had come to call emergency. They informed us that an autopsy would have to be performed, which I figured would happen, because with any unattended death there has to be an autopsy. After the inspectors finished, they let us know that the funeral home was on the way to get my grandmother. Now Scott could finally tell my dad, my brother, and me that they think it was a space heater that caught fire. It must have been right beside her entertainment center, and once it caught fire, the blaze went up in a V-pattern up and down the walls. I asked if she was burned, and Scott said that no, the most she got was like a sunburn. They found her in the kitchen.

After the funeral home came to take my grandmother away, the firemen had also cleared out, and we were allowed to go inside. I had taken my mom inside so that she wouldn't see my grandma wheeled out, so she and Judy were busy inside while the rest of us went to see the damage. Everything was black. Only the living area got the worst of it. The entertainment center was mostly burned, the TV was melted. The grandfather clock that had been in our family for decades was gone. Pictures on the walls were gone. The fireman had taken out the couch, a small table, a few chairs, the recliner, and the desk.

You could see the imprint where my grandmother lay, just right inside the kitchen. She was on her side. That really messed with my head. We decided that my mom didn't need to see that.

Mom was worried about all of the pictures being destroyed, but luckily they weren't. Scott told us my Dad pretty much saved all that, along with mostly everything in the desk and table, with his quick thinking. Everyone aside from my mom and Judy (Tony, her husband, had left by then) started looking through the desk and table to see what could be salvaged. Aside from some minor fire and water damaged, almost everything was intact. We grabbed some boxes and started taking the pictures out of the albums. Paul stayed home from work, and helped take out the bulk of the pictures, with Cyrilla (my brother's wife) helping him. I kept checking on my mom, but she and Judy were doing normal stuff: washing clothes, straightening up, chatting. Finally Paul and I decided everyone could use some food, so we went and grabbed a mix of KFC and McDonald's. Not the most nourishing meal, but I knew we all needed to eat. One of my brother's best friends, Jay, had brought us some empty boxes and sat with us while we ate. I hadn't seem him since my brother's wedding, because Jay's friendship with my brother had been strained. I don't care what anyone says or would have said though, because Jay is just as much part of my family as anyone at the table that day. I introduce him as "my other brother".

The rest of the day alternated between making calls to the insurance company and the funeral home, making arrangements, resting; and busy work like cleaning up and protecting my mom's banana trees.

I didn't sleep well that night. I kept wondering things: if my grandmother was scared, if she thought the fire was something she could put out herself by getting water from the kitchen. It wasn't as if she couldn't get around or get out of the house, but knowing that stubborn old lady, I'm betting she thought she could take of it herself. Only she couldn't, and no one knew what was happening until it was too late.

The funeral is scheduled for Thursday. My grandmother didn't want visitation, so there will just be a short service and then the funeral. My brother is putting together the music, and I asked my brother if he would include Rasputina's version of "Wish You Were Here". My mom wants me to find some pictures to show my grandmother throughout her life. Tomorrow is going to be hard for everyone, especially my mom. But I feel safe in knowing that my grandma is in a better place.

No one ever wants to think anything like this can happen to them, but it can. So please - be safe in your own homes:

Be sure to check and replace batteries in smoke alarms in your home and the homes of your loved ones if they are unable to do this themselves.

Make sure there is a plan for fire exits and that there is a way to call for help.

Don't leave unnecessary electrical items plugged in if they aren't being used.

Make sure you have at least one fire extinguisher.

Space heaters need space! Be sure they are placed at least three feet from any furniture or walls.

Something many people may not know: be sure that the exhaust duct in your dryer is free of debris and not clogged up. Lint buildup and improper venting can lead to dryer fires.

The Untag Marathon

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:32:29 -0700

Is it weird that I haven't entered into the tag-a-thon? And by that I mean...I don't use tags. Not that I don't find use for them - they seem nifty enough. But the thing is that I would probably use weird tags like "people whose heads should be removed from their shoulders". Alright so that's a whole phrase, and I should probably go with de-head-itation. It's funnier than decap.

I have had plenty to say lately, just not the means to spit it out. Oh my hands are still attached to my body; my brain is firing off neurons left and right. Just my internal mouth has been clamped. I can't freaking get it out. Or maybe it's just the things that have been happening have been either a] too normal or b] boring as all hell. Perhaps I shall go with c] and say that after the whole.........incident....I haven't really been letting myself think.

I could say that it was a life-changing event. And maybe it was - I'm probably more cynical now and I most certainly despise (most) people than ever before. It's almost become a racist thing, which I am ashamed to admit. No one can ever say they are without racial prejudice. I most certainly was not before, given the area I live. Or more precisely - the city I live outside. But now when I'm alone and I see a black man walking towards me, I get scared. What if he has a gun?

That's been the burning question. And truly it doesn't even apply to the color of skin. Now I'm worried everyone has a gun, which isn't so unbelieveable given this day and age. Everyone wants to be a jerk with a gun. I can barely watch any movies/tv/etc. where someone is being held at gunpoint. It makes me uneasy and I have flashbacks. Even watching Devil's Rejects made me feel uncomfortable, and I love that movie.

I suppose this is all on my mind due to changes at work. The owner's so-called "right-hand man" paid us a visit and now wants us to park farther away from the terminal. And that would be fine if we weren't in a shady neighborhood where it isn't uncommon to hear gunshots. The parking lot is right behind a Mrs. Winners Chicken. We will have to walk a few hundred yards from the parking lot to the terminal (all through which trucks will be coming in with trailers). There are huge potholes everywhere, and few of the floodlights work at night. Supposedly we will not have any security at night anymore, so our cars will be out (basically) in the open. The fence is about six feet tall, so anyone can jump it and ransack our vehicles. And no one will know it, because trailers will be blocking view to the parking lot. I was livid when I found all this out. My car will be paid off in two weeks and I will be damned if some jackass is going to break into my car. AGAIN. Mister Right-Hand Man's response to probable break-in? "That's why you have car insurance." Um yeah, I pay ninety bucks a month for some jackass to get free stuff? I don't think so. The first time anyone even touches my car, I will probably lose my job for cussing someone out.

Argh my migraine is coming back.

amalgamation.

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 05:28:36 -0700

everything. this moment. there just aren't any words..

The Year Without A Summer

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 21:20:06 -0700

Why can't the fat dude from Accepted be in every movie? Seriously.

We went to see Knocked Up the Friday it was released in theaters. Judd Apatow never ceases to amaze me with his comic genius. From Freaks & Geeks to Undeclared and then to 40 Year Old Virgin. He's fantastic. Even more fantastic? He employs use of the same actors, people I could watch over and over. Those familiar with the Apatow stable will affectionately recognize Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, Martin Starr (HAVERCHUCK!), and more recently - Paul Rudd. From the first episode I saw Seth Rogen in Freaks & Geeks, I knew I'd latch onto his pants and pull furiously, hoping I'd see him again. Freaks & Geeks sadly dried up. NBC just didn't know what it had on its hands. A fucking comedy powerhouse, and - let's face it - Haverchuck was just too sexy for NBC. Undeclared hit a year after F&G's demise, this time older and more adult-like.. Well at least the characters had beer figured out. Sort of. And then went Undeclared off to the land of awesome, forgotten TV shows, where gems like Firefly reside. Til 2005, Seth Rogen kinda floated around randomly, popping up in stuff like Anchorman. And then came 40-Year Old Virgin. This was big(ger) time for Seth Rogen. And thank the fucking gods, this propelled him into Knocked Up land, where he has a starring role. It's about time, kids, because Seth Rogen? Oh yeah, he kicks ass.

The movie itself? Fucking hilarious. I laughed non-stop through the whole movie. Well..until the vagina scene. And then I got to thinking about this whole baby thing. Did I mention Paul and I are trying to have a baby? :D So the beaver scene freaks me out, and I'm here worrying about the va-jay-jay being stretched into baby oblivion, never to return to its former glory. And oh yeah - OUCH. Because babyheads appearing out of vaginas looks scary and ouch-y. Ouch. I got quiet and thoughtful for the rest of the evening. But I didn't let it faze me long. Soon we were quoting The Fat Dude, who shall endlessly remain my fucking hiro, for lines like "Hope you guys have hobo stab insurance." and "What if a body rolls out and coughs its malaria all over us?". SERIOUSLY.

Of course Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer had to be viewed upon the premiere. Oh what a pile of crap that was. Gripes: wtf happened to Mr. Fantastic's accent? What in Christ's name was wrong with Jessica Alba's eyes (and btw I wish someone would fucking decapitate her), and exactly where was all the freaking action? Silver Surfer wasn't in it that much, but his scenes were pretty much the highlight. I did want to squishy bear-hug him also. But really...nothing fucking happened in the movie. It was boring, and the whole movie was Jessica Alba being a whiny cunt. I want my 8 dollars back. Don't make me sic the kid from Better Off Dead on you, Mark Frost. Because even I would run away from that evil little bastard.

And on to Transformers. I sooo figured that my inner child would be crushed by being forced to watch the raping of my youth. In other words - it didn't suck! Transformers was actually pretty damn entertaining without being cheesy. I was pissed that Volkswagen wouldn't allow their precious Bug to be associated with war machines (considering how the Bug was birthed, hypocrites). It was a pleasant surprise to see that Bumblebee at least got the classic treatment. For awhile anyway. I was highly pissed when B went from being a beat-up classic Camaro to....the new crap. I'm glaring this very second. Most of the audience was all "Oooh" while I was like "GODDAMNIT". Fucking sellouts. Anyway...Transformers had plenty of action. The Autobots looked pretty damn decent, except their eyes looked weird. I loved Shia LaBeouf as well, he's growing on me. I never liked Even Stevens much, but the kid is a fairly good actor. I'm almost looking forward to Indy 4. I didn't like the chick in the movie. Probably because if you look into her eyes, you will realize she has no soul. She makes me shudder. And not in a good tingly way. There was a scene I wish the Fat Dude had been in: when the Autobots fall from the sky like meteors, they rain down in various places around the city. Some random dude is like "hope they have asteroid insurance!" I mean, come on! Was Fat Dude not available? That would have truly cinched that scene. Come on, Michael Bay, you need to research these things!

So Fat Dude is gonna be in Superbad, another Judd Apatow comedy gold mine, which also stars Michael Cera (aka George-Michael on Arrested Development). It's gonna be badass. And raunchy. And full of fellaysh.

The weekend before the 4th of July was spent at Paul's for their barbeque. I drove down Friday night in a terrible mood. Arrived there still in said terrible mood. Mood got worse, because I needed some alone time with Paul. But he had been drinking and therefore this did not compute. Soooo terrible mood turned to worse mood, with me calling him an asshole (hey, if it looks like a duck...). Later on we finally talked. I couldn't get him to understand my need to chill with him a bit after my terrible fucking day, so I could move on and be all shiny/happy around everyone. He decided I should just forget about the day and be all shiny/happy in the first place. Hard for me to do, when I hardly know any of these people. After our talk, I tried to get some rest, but it was so fucking cold, I couldn't sleep. I talked to Drew for awhile, and he finally got me to calm down and even laugh. After we hung up, I had relaxed enough to cut up with everyone and enjoy being around people. The next day: food fight.

Geri, who is pretty much like Paul's sister, smacks Paul in the head. Paul forks a wad of mashed potatoes at her. Geri smashes Paul's plate into his chest. Paul throws the whole plate from the living room into the kitchen and hits Geri square in the shoulder. Over? No way. Later on, Paul throws a pitcher of ice water onto Geri. She tries to nail him back. Paul grabs the water hose and goes INTO the house with it to spray her down. All I got out of it was throwing a plate of cream cheese onto Paul. And then of course I got sprayed eight hundred times with the water hose. It was a fun day. That night I tried to partake in the roman candle/bottle rocket war, but I had somehow hurt my leg. It started cramping earlier that afternoon. It hurt so bad it took my breath away, so for the rest of the day, it was still sore enough that I limped around everywhere. During the fiyahcracker war, I twisted my leg a bit and had to stop. Then I took one of the girls home back to Southaven, which is over an hour away from where Paul lives. Me and three other (16 year old) girls in the car were having a blast listening to girly-pop stuff like Avril Lavigne (hey, damnit I like that stupid girlfriend song). And I introduced them to Lily Allen, heh heh. "Alfie" is good clean fun. :-x

This weekend was our turn to have a barbeque. Not nearly as many people showed up as I thought were going to, but there was plenty enough people to join in the pool festivities. We had float races. I had a tube, Paul had Spermy the Whale, while others had a kiddie boat (this was a twelve year-old kid), a duck, and a regular float. Ahem....apparently my all knees-and-elbows self knocked a few people (read: Paul) out of the way. I wish I could have seen him under the whale trying to win the race. Then we were all doing dives and flips. Cameron had the whale. He would flip off the diving board holding the whale and land on top of it. It was pretty badass. Then Paul broke the diving board. It was fantastic: he went to dive, and crrrrrrrrrack, there it went. We all kinda hovered around it, wondering how we could get it to properly break (therefore avoiding anyone else trying to jump on it) when Paul took a flying jump onto it and got it to finally break enough so that it's unusable. Finally the food was ready not long after that, and I even ate some ribs. Anyone that knows me is aware that I mostly eat beef or chicken (not that I eat much of either). I'm damn picky about weird stuff like pork. I'm sure it will be another ten years or so before I eat any more ribs though. They just aren't my thing.

Last night we hit the "reduced admission" theater to see 300. Paul had never seen it, but I assured him it was pretty fuckin' awesome. And of course he agreed. He thought the tree scene was pretty hilarious. I might have laughed if these damn cramps weren't so bad.

Which brings me to the baby thing. Yes, we are trying to have a baby, but no luck so far. I've been off the pill since April, but I'm assuming my body hasn't readjusted itself yet. Don't worry, we won't be bringing a bastard child into the world.

Speaking of bastards, the Feebs called me again today to let me know they are still working on the case. I was having an almost pleasant day up until then. After that, PMS took over and I became Hellbeast. It just pisses me off that they haven't....done something with those fuckers.

I wish lynching was still legal in Mississippi. :D

The Rally Point Incident

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 15:57:21 -0700

Okay here it is:

Last night after I got off work, I didn't feel like going home, so I went to the Rally Point. I figured all of the usual people would be there, and I could just hang out and have a good time. I get there, and Lev is the only person there, which was surprising. I got a Cherry Coke and we watched Flavor of Love: Charm School, laughing at how retarded the show and what hoes the girls were. Lev put on some music & we chatted about upcoming shows. Then two black guys walked in: one wearing all red, jersey-type clothes with a red cap & sunglasses; the other wore a white shirt and maybe jeans. Both were tall and slender. I had a weird feeling when they walked in, and I almost made a joke to Lev that "oh crap, we're gonna die". I didn't say it. The two guys asked for quarters and started a game of pool. They asked if there was any hand chalk, which of course there was none. While Lev and I had our attention focused on the TV, the one in red walked up and put a gun to Lev's head and asked where the money was. Lev said it was in the cash register. So Red gets Lev out from behind the bar and has him lie down face first on the floor in front of the closest pool table. They take off his shoes and take everything in his pockets. Meanwhile, I put my hands on the bar and looked down. Red walked over to me and asked what I had, which was nothing really. He took my purse and pulled me from the chair. He patted me down and then had me lie on the floor on my back. He yanked my pants down and...eh... touched me & stuff. That's when I started freaking out a bit, crying and asking them not to do anything. Red said he wasn't going to do anything. The one in white came over and said "I'm sorry, I don't know why he did that."

They got Lev & I up and marched us to the girls' bathroom, where they put Lev facing against the wall. I stood a little off to the side between the toilet & sink. We were both shaking pretty bad. Whitey would close the door for a bit, then open it up and say crap like "don't move, or I'll blow your fuckin' head off." And I would say "I promise we aren't going to do anything." He kept thinking Lev was gonna make some quick move, and he would have me tell Lev not to move. This kept going on for awhile. Whitey kept getting more agitated while Red was rifling the bar, saying that he had already killed someone and he wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

Then we heard another voice saying, "Give it up, the cops are already outside!" There was some yelling and the third voice said , "I'll give you $150 if you just leave now." And then the third person was shoved into the bathroom on his knees: Nick (I didn't know his name at the time). They closed the door again, leaving us alone for a bit. Nick said he almost had one of them, but then his partner came out with a gun. He asked if me & Lev were alright. Whitey started poking his head in again, agitated with Nick, telling him not to make a move, blah blah. I asked the guy if he wouldn't point the gun at us, because we weren't going to do anything. So for awhile he would point the gun upwards. It made me too nervous with the guy pointing it at us, I was afraid he'd squeeze the trigger. Once Nick bumped against the door, and Whitey came in asking what the hell he was going. Nick said it was hurting his knees to be in that position, because he'd had surgery on them. So Whitey is all like, "You don't know what I've been through, they put me in foster care, blah blah."

Finally after awhile we didn't hear anything. Nick knocked on the door once..then twice, and nothing happened. Then he opened the door and stuck his head out saying, "Hello?". No one answered, so he made a break for the door, unlocking it and leaving it open. Lev & I waited a few seconds and took off after Nick. We went to the Z Market across the parking lot, Nick telling the guys to call the police. These dudes apparently do not know what 911 is, because they were just kinda like "Huh?" And then I grabbed onto Lev and started sobbing. We just held onto each other for awhile. Nick was finally able to call the cops, and then we waited around after that. The Z Market guys let us all have a free soda, since we had no money of course.. They took 5 bucks from me, about thirty from Lev, and 150 from Nick. No telling how much they got from the bar. They took our phones, which pissed me off, because getting a new phone is a bitch. But hey...I was just glad we got out physically unscathed.

Later on after the cops, Nate, Jen, Ray, and Aubrey showed up, Nick noticed an ID in the stool by the door. ....It belonged to Whitey. Stupid ass motherfucker. Apparently someone had called my phone after they left, and one of the dudes answered, talking all kinds of shit.

Anyway...that's mostly the whole story. I'm as okay as I can be I guess. It was hard for me to sleep, because every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing the events replay in my head. I really think that Nick showing up saved us though. Those guys just seemed like they were looking for a reason to shoot someone.

I just hope Lev & Nick are alright. I thank Nick for showing up, and I'm glad I didn't just keep on driving when I saw there was no one at the Point. I don't know if I will be able to go back for awhile, but guys, don't let it stop you from checking out all the awesome shows. Good people work there and good people hang out there. Show your support for Nate, the bands, and the bar. I might come up there one day...

I am off work today. If for some reason you want to call & chat, my home number is 662-895-5350. I'm not going anywhere. I should have a new phone in the morning, so if you wanna msg me with your number & stuff, please do.

Everyone be careful also. You never know what might happen. <3

Bash Sip Lock

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 17:19:26 -0700

Hey, that rhymes with Dash Rip Rock. Cuz I been listening to those mofos like whoa. Praise the loorrrd, I saww the light.

I had a badass birthday. For once I didn't whip out the Eeyore!Cari with the whole "avoiding people" thing that I usually do on the birthday. Hell no, this year, even though I am now 28, enjoyed celebrating with my pals The Adversary. And most importantly: Paul. The Adversary played at Murphy's with a band I'd never heard called The Importance of Poison, who rocked by the way. I caught up with a few people I hadn't seen in years, like Slotalkin' John, Mclane, and AJ. Lev the Medieval Throwdown accompanied Paul and I to the show, which was fantastic since I hardly see Lev anymore. We didn't go inside til The Adversary started playing, instead just catching snatches of IoP when the door opened. The Adversary are badass, though we couldn't understand one bit of Josh's vocals. The music was enough to keep me movin'. I never thought anyone could rock a keyboard and look good doing it, but Jason pulled it off quite well. It was so tits. I snagged an Adversary CD, which Paul & I listened to the next day, and he liked it so much he wants a copy. Harrr.

Friday was so hilarious. Dale, Paul, & I went to Backstreet for karaoke and drag tag (which was postponed yet again). This month Backstreet has dollar longnecks on Fridays til midnight, sw0wn. This particular Friday, they also had Kamikaze Karaoke, where you could pay a dollar to put a song in for someone. If that person didn't want to sing the song, they had to pay 2 bucks to get out of it. This way they can raise money to get more karaoke songs, though they have an excellent selection. Sooooo I got kamikaze'd. They hit me with "You Don't Own Me", which I kinda messed up on, because I'm so used to Rasputina's version of it. Later they got me with "Chocolate Salty Balls", except they paid Daniel (the emcee) to refrain from notifying me I had been hit with a kamikaze. It was funny though. We got Forrest with the Gilligan's Island theme, which he surprisingly did really good on. And we made Paul sing. We made a pact that if he would sing one song, he would be off the hook forever. And so he did "Over the Rainbow". He is truly awesome. Pretty much the rest of the night it was us and a few other people doing karaoke. We didn't go to the drag show, but since they weren't going drag tag, it didn't matter. The karaoke thing was a blast.

Oh hell. Yesterday was a kickass shopping extravaganza. Dale and I were on a mission to come up with an outfit for his drag performance. We hit the thrift stores over on Summer. At the first one, I snagged a white (!) dress and a sweet plaid long jacket. The next store had sequined formals, but none that would fit, sadly. When were feeling defeated, Dale spotted an outfit hanging on the rack that turned out to be perfect for the number. It was a yellow & orange dress with a yellow poncho thingy. Kinda Steve Nicks-ish. We found a few other things that he could use for other numbers. One kickass thing was this Fubu jacket & pants outfit. It was leatherish kinda material that was black & red. Now, I don't like Fubu stuff, but this outfit was freaking awesome. And it was only ten bucks! I found some plaid pants with stovepipe legs, one of which has like..a kilt leg! After that things just kept falling into place. We stopped at Sonic to pig out on burgers & cookie dough blasts (oh heaven..). We hit the wig shop next and found a brown layered wig & tons of perfect makeup. So yeah, after all that shopping we were exhausted. We chilled for a bit at his place trying to decide if we were gonna go to Rally Point for Miah's show. Finally around eleven we decided to head over there.

Acid Piss and The Tru Cuntry Bassturds were playing. Acid Piss was like eating glass and chasing it with pop rocks. In other words - it was badass. One of the songs I remember went something like "I wanna buttfuck you......up". Absolute gold. TCB was doing ICP covers, which I loved because they did "Another Love Song". And that of course is one of my favorite ICP songs. Anna Banana showed up, and I harrassed her for being too sick to hang with me on my birthday. I played pool with TJ (? can't remember his name), and he kicked my arse. I didn't pick any fights, surprisingly. Usually when beer goes in me, the punches come out. I just went around poking people. Bwahahahaha. It was a fun night. But yeah, I'm feeling it today.

I'm excited about tonight, because the drag show is going to be awesome with Dale & Katrina performing. I think I need another nap though..

Fang the burninator

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 20:54:31 -0700

Fang the burninator

Originally uploaded by leechwife.

He will burn the skin off your face with his laser blowtorch eyes.

I Heart Jane Jensen

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Mon, 14 May 2007 15:21:00 -0700

I swear Jane Jensen is psychic. She posted a bulletin on MySpace, and I thought to myself, "I fucking love Jane Jensen." And then I checked my comments to find she had said "thank you". So Jane, will you marry me?? She is so hot. <3

My Daemon

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Sun, 13 May 2007 19:42:58 -0700

I can't wait for this movie. The books were so fantastic.

Hair Cut 100

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Sat, 12 May 2007 16:43:19 -0700

Hair Cut 100

Originally uploaded by leechwife.

Well I think it's cute at least..

Bad, Bad Luck

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Tue, 08 May 2007 10:27:26 -0700

Last night Dale was having a bad night: his now ex-POS boyfriend had decided he wanted to get with one of his exes. I had planned on staying in, relaxing, and watching the hell out of some Hiros. But after talking to Dale, knowing how upset he was, I said "Let's go to Metro!". Metro is a gay bar out in Midtown where they have karaoke Mondays & Tuesdays. We met Kim and Drew up there. It was a good time, even under the circumstances. Then when it was almost 3 a.m., I decided I needed to get some sleep. Drew and Kim had already left, so it was just me & Dale. We walked up the car, where I saw my belt on the ground...and then noticed my window had been busted out. Whoever did it searched through everything: the console, the glove box, possibly even the trunk. They got my stand-in purse I've been using since my other good purse was stolen. Inside? More of my Emily the Strange perfume (that's been discontinued >_< ), my meds (again!), and the only other damn camera I had.

And the kicker is that there is on-duty security guard. I guess he was asleep when my car was getting raped. I called the police, and they responded much quicker this time; less than five minutes while I had to use the facilities. I told the officer I hoped the "cocksocket dies". He agreed, saying then he wouldn't have to keep filling out these break-in reports.

It won't be hard to get a new window: my mom works at a glass company. The trick is trying to convince my pharmacy that I'm not selling drugs, since this will be the THIRD time this month I've needed to get this stuff refilled. But at least I have police reports and witnesses to prove both incidents.

My mom thinks it's Rhys fucking with me. If that's true.... heh heh.. yeah.

Anyway, I'm staying out of Memphis for awhile. My mom kinda told me I needed to anyway. She thinks someone is trying to tell me something. Which could be true - next time I could get shot in the face or something. It's cool though...I have lots of shows to catch up on.

I get to drive my mom's car today, weeeee!!

The Good, the Bad, the Really Ugly

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Sun, 06 May 2007 21:38:47 -0700

Dale and I ended up hitting the Tear It Up Rock & Roll Party on Saturday March 21st. It was a badass show featuring Area 69, The Vacant, The Splints, and Dr. Daniel & the Rockabilly Vampires. Anna Banana rode with us, giving us first glance at her ex's bloated fetus carrier. The show rocked; I couldn't say there was any band I didn't like. The two that stood out were Area 69 and Dr. Daniel. Area 69's female lead singer is a rockin' ass roller derby chick. She got everyone revved up with their song called "Sexual Abuse", where she ejaculated "You just wanna fuck!". It was great. When Dr. Daniel hit the stage, I danced the whole way through. I fail to mention that I was in top form that evening, being loud, obnoxious, and quite hilarious. I even got hit on by fifteen year-olds. One of them - a cute brunette named Austin - put his arm around me and asked for my number. All while holding a forty ounce Colt 45 in his hand. I tried to pry it away from him, telling him he was just a youngin. They didn't believe I was 27. Even so, I told cutie I was wayyyy too old for him. And then I proceeded to kick his friend that kept bumping into me. The dude fell on the ground, and I kept kicking him. I'm so nice sometimes. :D

Sunday night, it was dudes in dresses: the drag show at Backstreet. I asked Caitlyn to pretend to be my girlfriend so this big chick wouldn't hit on me again. Apparently she took me dancing with her the previous week as me being interested. There was a hot raven-haired girl there with some guy that looked like he was her cracked out, perverted father. She had on a short dress that let her ass peek out of. Yeah, I looked a whole bunch. She was hot. She also looked high though, so that was a bit of a turn off. Dale's friend Kenny ("Ashley") performed, borrowing my borrowed cat ears. I would have had a better time had I not been upset over the asshole Simon. There was a misunderstanding that we still haven't spoken about, and while I was extremely put out at the time, all that pisses me off now is that he was too much of a coward to talk to me about it. At all. I managed to squeeze a bit of fun out of the evening - the performances were entertaining as hell, and I got to sit in Caitlyn's lap.

Tuesday evening we went to Open Mic night at Full Moon. It was a bit dead, but a lot of the crew was there, including the illustrious Katrina, on whom I have a mad crush. Dale fell out of a chair, and as he did, I snapped a shot of it. And then he got to kiss a hot guy (not naming names, you hot bastard). Not only that...but just about everyone got a photo of Dale burying his face in said hot guy's lap. Oh bless me, Father, for that motherfucker is hot. Ahem...I got a bit of action from Katrina. I think. I might have dreamed that.... we bet that we would kiss if Dale & Hot Dude would kiss. I'm pretty sure it happened. I know we all had fun.

Continue reading "The Good, the Bad, the Really Ugly"

How I Quit the Forest

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 13:10:14 -0700

After months of neglection, I return. In less of my former glory. Maybe.

So here's the pitch: girls meets boy. Boy is former boyfriend. Girl and boy take up where they left off, except it goes deeper, to the point of "hey let's get married!" And then from there things go downhill.

There's been plenty of shit to say, I just haven't had the heart to spill it. Everything was great between us, and I felt like he was "The One". Of course..my mood swings always have a tendency to interfere. Couple that with switching birth control, and I'm even more volatile. I had to get off the patch, per doctors orders, because it was making me bleed too much. The VagiDoc figured the Pill would make a difference. It did..I became Miss Mood Swing '07. But I can't blame our problems just on that. There were a variant of things: my moods did change, which caused his to collide with mine. I became clingy and needy (which is not me at all, ugh) and it drove a wedge between us. I would get pissed off when he would hang out with his other friends. Which is pretty fuckin' stupid, since I hadn't had a problem with it before.

Work had also become hectic: management made the decision to move David's (the dispatcher) hours, so that he now leaves at 2. And of course that leaves me taking over dispatch, just as I have for the past five years, but now I take it more seriously. Because of course I have more responsibilities. I've been stressed out a lot of the time since then. I am constantly at war with two sides: listening to the drivers bitch because I'm doing things differently; and Shrek, the Bloated Carcass, who is too stupid to live. Before..David would just sit on his ass all day, legs kicked up on the desk and leaned back in his chair. He would wait for a driver to call before dispatching him a new location. I don't work like that. I'm constantly keeping in touch with all of the drivers, making sure they are getting their deliveries off without delays, adding new dispatches to their list of pickups, and also calling customers if I think the driver might be late. David has never done any of this. He would let the drivers just sit around doing nothing while the late guys had to pick up all the slack.

On the other side where Shrek is in the Too Stupid to Live corner, he forever bombards me with "you need to make sure we stay within production hours!" Meaning I have to make sure no one stays over their allotted hours, but we still make all the pickups on time.

Stress.

And Rhys was on a totally different work schedule, going into work at 3pm and sometimes not getting off til 3am. We didn't see other all that much during the week. Add all of this up, and I pretty much became someone else: moody(er), irrational without cause, demanding (because dammit I wanted to spend time with him), etc. We started arguing all the time over stuff that didn't make sense, things there were no reason to argue over. I was depressed due to all of the above-mentioned things. It wasn't pretty.

So we broke up. And then got back together. We both wanted to try to make it work, even though we were both starting to think we weren't compatible. It never got better. We would still argue. Finally he kept telling me he didn't have the energy to fight for us, to be around me, to put up with my shit, etc. We took several steps back from being engaged to ...just dating. I didn't like it. It hurt pretty fuckin' awful that I wanted to marry him, but he didn't feel the same anymore. I didn't understand how we could go from where we were to ..here.

It kept building up til it's come to where we both are today. Tuesday we had a text conversation that was really fucking hurtful. He has started taking everything I say in a negative way (which I guess I can't blame him, but when I've said I will knock it off and better myself as a person, he should give me the benefit of a doubt). And of course he said some things that made me realize it's over between us. He truly does not want to be with me anymore, and I was stupid to keep trying. Sometimes love isn't enough. He told me I wasn't the sole source of his happiness (which dur, I know that, and ditto). And then proceeded to pretty much say I was stupid, weak, and dependent. He, of course, depends on no one and "sure as hell ain't weak".

And that's that. We haven't really spoken since then. I've been trying to move on, hanging out with friends, going to shows, things like that. Dale and I have gotten closer, which has been great. I've been seeing a lot of Joe and Drew as well. It's been fantastic hanging out with people again. One good thing that came out of the relationship is that I made another friend - Rhys's sister, Anna. I really dig her. And her kids! I am so not a kid person, but I love those little buggers. Weirdness.

I haven't been able to sleep this week. Yesterday at work was terrible - I felt like death and had a bad ass migraine. I couldn't sleep at all last night, I kept waking up every half hour. I'm just kinda dragging along today. I'm kind of irritable (which is to be expected, since I'm all sleep-dep), but I really wanna go out and do something fun tonight. I was trying to get the crew together for some Cactus Jacks action. Cuz I still haven't learned Ghost Train, argh. There's a show at Tear It Up that I might check out. I dunno. I wanna get out and do stuff. I gotta get back to being my usual awesome self.

Ahem...and of course there's Neil's. Been going there just about every week, and it's been fun. This past week I did George Michael's "Faith" which was pretty funny. And then Donna let me do my usual - "The Ballad of Chasey Lain". I've been kinda hangin' out with Sean and Simon, which also has been kick awesome. Last week I ran into them at the Deli when Electric Six were playing, and we all danced, laughed, and acted retarded. It was a blast. And then there's Grant - this dude I call Whitey. Cuz he's err...white...and has emo hair. I always harrass him about his hair. It's so emo. Grant's cool though, he's random as shit like I am. Cockmonkey.

So yeah. That's how I quit the forest.

Song of the day? Mother Crush - Seed. Fuckin old times, good times. Hell yeah. I'm off to either take a nap or eat babies.

Invader flatbeds

nospam@example.com (Cari) — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 19:58:48 -0800

Invader flatbeds

Originally uploaded by leechwife.

Invader Zim super evil truck lines. Intergalactic freight delivery!