tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11414809972019919632012-01-09T17:11:47.459-05:00posts reflections of a corpulent nature.Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-42494005747231564382012-01-03T21:09:00.002-05:002012-01-03T21:09:43.632-05:002012-01-03T21:09:43.632-05:00

I struggle with why it is so hard for people to openly love each other. Why is it so easy for things that don’t really matter to get in the way? Why is fear so much more powerful than love? It’s not supposed to be that way. How did it get like this? Who decided the fear of persecution would trump love? Wouldn’t real love be worth the judgement and/or possible sacrifice? If I had to choose between

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-4156379969058753542011-11-21T19:07:00.002-05:002011-11-21T19:09:50.609-05:002011-11-21T19:09:50.609-05:00

I love clothes. I didn’t always. For most of my life I have stayed away from the fashion world because as a fat girl I just wasn’t part of the conversation. There were not that many plus size shops. Of the ones that did exist the offerings were sad and boring. Lots of polyesther, lots of black, all of it matronly. Not appropriate for a teen. So it didn’t make sense for me to follow that

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-48084303752356203642011-07-10T23:37:00.002-04:002011-07-10T23:37:39.566-04:002011-07-10T23:37:39.566-04:00

Okcupid, you suck. That is all.

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-50749924713331339192011-07-10T23:34:00.000-04:002011-07-10T23:34:02.796-04:002011-07-10T23:34:02.796-04:00

I finally saw this movie for the first time today. Elizabeth Taylor plays a "whore" who falls in love with a married man. Needless to say, the ending is tragic as it was made in the 60's where women who were wanton, lusty, pregnant and unmarried, or just all around bad girls couldn't have happy endings. I suppose the studios didn't think the sensibilities of audiences then couldn't handle a a

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-71900155378359718062011-06-29T16:12:00.002-04:002011-06-29T16:14:28.840-04:002011-06-29T16:14:28.840-04:00

In the movies romance happens organically. Two people meet by some random happenstance where they are drawn to each other and spend an extended period of time together that leads to a beautifully romantic kiss. They finally sleep together after a bit of awkward but magical fumbling, et voila, a relationship is born. Real life isn’t so magical. Two people meet online after a series of awkward

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-5274019824994523152011-03-22T23:55:00.000-04:002011-03-22T23:55:12.019-04:002011-03-22T23:55:12.019-04:00

I Just found out about this awesome site. ihollaback.org. The site documents cases of street harassment by men towards women. All hours of the day or night, all modes of transporation, all manner of dress, all ages and social classes, and in all neighborhoods women everywhere get harassed and some hollaback with a very forceful “Go fuck yourself and your disgusting advances.” As I read the

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-34368805820875578172009-06-09T22:17:00.010-04:002009-06-09T22:56:52.830-04:002009-06-09T22:56:52.830-04:00

Something is irking me today. It's kind of a shame that some FAs, particularly male FAs talk about their ideal BBW while referring to paysite models, and then half expect fat chicks to know who they are talking about. Never mind the fact that hey, I don't spend all my time perusing teh paysites, or the fact that I'm not shaped like a paysite model either. If there were more paysites directed at

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-2008564333696287262009-04-06T03:40:00.003-04:002009-04-06T03:44:04.888-04:002009-04-06T03:44:04.888-04:00

Why is it that as fat women, we get to thinking that our fat is the reason for every fucked up thing that happens to us when it comes to sex and dating?I find myself lately telling other bbws (and even some thin people) that our fat doesn't have to do with everything that that might be wrong with our sex lives. Sure, yes you are fat, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to find a decent guy. Got

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-14356593309093713502009-02-22T21:47:00.005-05:002009-02-22T23:03:10.664-05:002009-02-22T23:03:10.664-05:00

This phrase has been knocking around my brain for a few days now. It seems easy to convey white privilege and class privilege and gender privilege to people because these things seem universal. Every culture thruout history has experienced some version of each of those things I think. Thin privilege seems to be relatively new - in historical terms that is, and so the concept is probably

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-53585816845957061592009-01-29T20:18:00.001-05:002009-01-29T20:39:53.838-05:002009-01-29T20:39:53.838-05:00

Just what is an FA?A Fat Admirer (FA) is a person of any gender and any sexual orientation who is turned on by fatness. They come in all ages, ethnicities and weights. Some like very fat people and some only like slightly fat people, some like it somewhere in the middle, and still others like it all. Some FAs like the label and some don't. Some fat people like the label and some don't, but I

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-22459047019148522952009-01-27T13:51:00.005-05:002009-01-27T15:38:46.043-05:002009-01-27T15:38:46.043-05:00

This little bit of "science" news was reported in Novemember 2008, and originally released in the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology 2008 Sep;112(3):586-92. My reaction then was to just roll my eyes and forget about it, and it's only just now occurred to me to write about it, as I am only now filled with the righteous indignation of the WTF?!? variety. Talk about a delayed reaction.According to

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-78626695182056472582009-01-10T14:50:00.006-05:002009-01-10T15:05:12.362-05:002009-01-10T15:05:12.362-05:00

...I know. Life and all. For the few people who've read my posts and have emailed or commented to say they hope I write more, I will be doing just that this year. I plan to output at least one post a month, more if I've something to say. I wanted to focus mostly on the sexual aspects of being fat and liking fatness, but sometimes I wanted to comment on non-sexual goings on in the fativerse,

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-38762547758621527672008-10-12T14:46:00.007-04:002008-10-12T21:38:14.196-04:002008-10-12T21:38:14.196-04:00

This is a post I made to a forum thread about partner's weight loss and reactions to that weight loss, in a forum for size acceptance and size adimiration. Note BBW=big beautiful woman; BHM=big handsome man; FFA=Female Fat Admirer; FA=Fat Admirer:Me: This is complicated. It is clear that you care about your wife, and you want to do the right thing...I keep getting stuck on the fact that you

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-27829291241288250392008-03-24T19:01:00.006-04:002008-03-30T01:46:39.288-04:002008-03-30T01:46:39.288-04:00

This particular question has been plaguing me for quite some time now. For the longest time it seemed clear. Anyone my size or bigger is fat and anyone a lot smaller than me is skinny. The problem occurs for me when a person I think is skinny tells me, no vehemently insists that he/she is actually fat - and other people agree with the smaller person. It's happened often enough for me to

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-62330539151678802382008-03-08T19:02:00.003-05:002008-07-26T23:24:38.716-04:002008-07-26T23:24:38.716-04:00

A few people have asked of late, "How do fat people have sex anyway?" This question always amuses me. I'm tempted to say "Picture two amoebas getting it on." But I don't. I know that what they really want to know about are positions and not how do fat folks kiss or snuggle. So I've decided to devote a post to the nitty gritty of big love.So just how DO fat folks do it? 1. Well lots and lots

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-39905255724066847872008-02-23T22:49:00.023-05:002008-02-23T23:21:54.989-05:002008-02-23T23:21:54.989-05:00

I've been thinking still about this word fatty. It occurred to me to wonder just how many synonyms there are for the word fat, so onto thesaurus.reference.com I went. It astonished me that so many of the words were negative. It seems obvious to me now that they should be, and yet....why hadn't I ever thought to do this before? As I perused the entries I wondered how many of those words an FA

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-39070550401112656522008-02-09T03:31:00.000-05:002008-02-10T20:23:03.670-05:002008-02-10T20:23:03.670-05:00

I'm a little angry because a man I'd been sleeping with decided that because I wouldn't continue to let him call me my fatty in the bedroom I was no longer worth his time and he was quite unwilling to discuss it. I was frankly rather surprised by his refusal to discuss how I felt about it. If he had he'd have known that there were other things he called me that I found perfectly acceptable like

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1141480997201991963.post-43146908860539708952008-02-08T04:27:00.001-05:002008-02-10T20:22:10.146-05:002008-02-10T20:22:10.146-05:00

There is a common belief among filmmakers that people like to have their lives reflected back on them, and for the most part filmmakers do give their audiences a chance to feel as tho they were indeed watching and relating to a myriad sordid affairs, tragic woes and happy memories, but meanwhile I was feeling quite alienated and invisible. Where were the stories about fat black metalheads/

Cary Webbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16530799861467201895noreply@blogger.com0