I’m on the airplane…again.  It seems like I’ve been gone a lot in the past year and a half.  I know the route to Denver International Airport like the back of the hand.  However, today I was a little over confident and almost missed my flight.  Oops!

This time, I’m on the plane headed to check on my parents in San Diego.  They’ve been recuperating there for the past month.

 Leaving this time was extra hard on me.   Here are the reasons:

1.    Will has a Track meet on Thursday night, which I will miss. 

 He had his first one last night (because the previous one was “snowed out”…yes, you read that right…in April you can have “snowed out” events when you live in Colorado.)  I was so nervous for him I thought I was going to throw up.  I’m not a runner and never have been so I had no clue what was going on.  I had to keep asking my friend next to me which event was which.   Maybe I’ll catch on soon.  I can’t believe he is old enough to be in middle school track!  And, that’s just 1 step closer to leaving our nest.  Time stand still, please!  I don’t want to miss a second.

2.    Reality.

 Most days I can be in my own world or my “happy place”.  Taking care of my family and my business keeps me super busy.   I don’t have time to it and think about the fact that my dad has brain cancer & my mom’s life is devoted to caring for him right now.  I can get to sleep at night pretty well these days and don’t have that panic feeling before I go to bed like I had in previous months of worrying about a phone call in the middle of the night. 

But, when I get off the plane, the reality will sink in again that my dad is dealing with the residuals of back surgeries, brain cancer, chemo, and radiation.  I’ll be faced with the reality that he struggles every day…the reality that he isn’t my strong daddy anymore.  He is frail. 

The reality will sink in that my mom is exhausted physically and mentally from caring for him.  She is living in the reality that the love of her life may not get to grow old with her.   She doesn’t understand WHY this has happened to him…to them.  I’ll see the reality that she doesn’t want to be a widow and will not stop fighting for him to get better so she can have more time.

These are the two worlds I’m caught between:  Mother & Daughter.  Making the right decisions and being engaged in both roles.  It’s difficult.  So, I do my best.  I make sure Will knows how important he is to me but show him it’s important to care for your parents, and I fly to San Diego to face the reality that sometimes I want to avoid.  I need to soak it all in…the good and the bad.  And, reflect on what God is teaching me along the way although, to be honest, sometimes I just want to cry. 

I am grateful for a counselor who has been helping me sort through all of this.  She, too, has a mom who had brain cancer/lung cancer and is a survivor.  She, too, mourns the life before the cancer.  She, too, is a mom to two kiddos.  She helps me sort through the myriad of emotions I have been having.  Maybe you are facing something in your reality that you’d rather not face.  What is that reality and what is God trying to teach you?  Maybe it is time you see a counselor, too, to help you sort through your reality.   It sure has helped me!

Update:  This was written last week.  Good news:  Dad’s MRI this week showed the Cancer wasn’t active or growing.  I feel like that was a gift (more like miracle) from God allowing us to have more time.  My son’s track meet was canceled due to SNOW so I didn’t miss it.  Happy Girl!  God just loves to lavish His love on me sometimes so that I KNOW He cares. 

I am what I eat.

Well, not really.  But, my body sure does feel differently when I eat certain things.  The past week and a half, I’ve been trying to eat mostly vegan but adding a little meat.  No bread (gluten) or dairy. 

This past weekend, we went out of town and I had a “cheat meal” of all the pizza I could stuff my face with.  The next morning, I woke up swollen.  I really don’t think my body enjoys gluten or cheese…although those are two things I CRAVE!

I never thought I could eat mostly Vegan…but I have been.  I’m thankful for the reset that has taught me to like VEGGIES!  Plus, my energy has been great (which I was worried about).

I was asking my friend who has an awesome body what I should do to look great for Summit (which is our annual Beachbody meeting in June).   She said, “Do week 1 from the Ultimate Reset.”  So, that’s what I’ve been doing.  The only cheese it has is Greek Yogurt and the only meat is eggs & chicken.  (Although I’ve done a little turkey, too…it’s the same concept.)

 Here are a few things I’ve been eating-

Breakfast:

Vegan Chocolate Shakeology

Eggs & Turkey Bacon (sometimes I throw in Kale, pine nuts, and tomatoes)

Lunch:

Salad with homemade dressing and pine nuts

Quinoa Salad

Avocado/Jicama Salad

Zucchini Cashew Soup

Snacks:

Popcorn (homemade with coconut oil)

Cashews

Cuties

Dinner:

Lentils/Quinoa Pilaf

Chicken & Veggies

Turkey chili

Shakeology (if I didn’t have it for breakfast)

Stir Fry w/quinoa or brown rice

Black Bean & Brown Rice Soft Tacos

It’s amazing how drastically the scale changes when I eat like this!  So, I’m going to stick with it!  And, It’s been fun to log in my meals into www.MyFitnessPal.com.  If you want to follow me, I’m FunFitMomof2. 

I’ve also noticed that my whole life is more organized when I am keeping track of what goes in my mouth.  Since logging in my food, I’ve noticed that I’m much more mindful of WHAT goes in my mouth and I’m more focused to get things done throughout the day.  I think it makes you be more organized when you have to plan your meals, don’t you?

Summertime is approaching and there’s nothing quite as refreshing in the Summer as a Berry Smoothie!  So, in anticipation of Summer, Beachbody has improved the Original Greenberry Shakeology…and I think you are going to like it!

News From Beachbody:

We decided it was time to give the original Greenberry formula a makeover – to bring it up to speed with the newest Shakeology improvements. And we’ve taken this opportunity to improve the taste as well! Our R&D team has delivered some AMAZING improvements and you are going to be AMPED on what we have accomplished.

In February, we initiated a Greenberry Sensory Panel and put the new, improved formula to the test. This panel consisted of both Coaches and Customers and they overwhelmingly favored this new, tastier Greenberry formula.

Q: Why did the Greenberry Formula change?
A: We decided to upgrade the formula and bring it up to speed with other Shakeology products. The original Greenberry launched 4 years ago and there have been many superfood discoveries as well as improvements made in sourcing of key ingredients. We wanted you to have the very latest and updated product. Based on customer and Coach feedback over the years, we also decided to give it a taste “makeover” as well.

Q: How will I know I’ve received the new Greenberry Shakeology formula?
A: Look on the front of the bag or carton. If there is delicious fruit and greens surrounding the Shakeology glass, then you’re holding the new and improved formula in your hands. If not, then you still have the old formula and the new formula will come in your next shipment or two.

Q: What’s different in the new Greenberry formula?
A:

• Reduced calories from 140 to 130 per serving
• Reduced Sugars from 11g to 6g per serving! (5 grams less than before!)
• Reduced Total Carbs from 19g to 13g per serving
• Increased Protein from 16g to 17g per serving
• Fiber increased from 3g to 4g due to the addition of pea protein and increase in super greens.
• Reduced fructose necessary in the formula due to the addition of Luo Han Guo
• We added Shakeology’s newest superfoods: Luo Han Guo, Moringa and Himalayan Salt.
• We increased the amount of super-greens (it is Greenberry after all!) and included an even more delicious natural flavor which works more harmoniously with the formula to makes Greenberry sweeter and fruitier.
• Green tea used is no longer decaffeinated — therefore it is less “processed”.
  • (Note: Green tea is naturally very low in caffeine).
• Plus we incorporated the improvements we made recently to Chocolate:
  • More concentrated grasses. We’re using grass juice powders. The grasses are first pressed into juices—which allows us to concentrate the nutrients—then the juice is further concentrated into a powder. (Before we were just grinding the grasses themselves into powders)
  • Better strain of probiotics
  • No suma root or blue-green algae
  • Still Low Glycemic Index

Q: Can I still get the Original Greenberry Formula?
A: For those of you who loved the original Greenberry, you can still purchase it (24-count cartons only) for limited time, beginning Tuesday, May 7^th. Just go to the Shakeology Shop page on TeamBeachbody.com to place your order.

Q: Does the New Greenberry Formula still have whey protein?
A: Yes, Greenberry Shakeology still has whey protein in it. We also added natural pea protein to round out the amino acid profile.

Q: Does the New Greenberry Formula still have fructose in it?
A: Yes, but nearly half of what it had before. In this latest formula evolution, new superfood ingredient Luo Han Guo (monkfruit) lends natural sweetness to the formulation without the carbs or calories.

Q: Why are the calories lower in this new Greenberry formula? (130 vs. 140 in the old formula)
A: This is mainly due to the reduction of fructose in the formula.

Q: What is Himalayan Salt? Why was it added into the new Greenberry Shakeology formula?
A: Salt and sodium are necessary in our diets. Unfortunately, common table salt has been stripped of its natural minerals. Himalayan salt is completely natural, relatively untouched, and as a result, still contains over 70 trace minerals. All these natural minerals found in Himalayan salt actually make this salt healthier for you than regular table salt. Additionally, as most people who bake know, adding a pinch of salt contributes to the sweetness of a product. Keep in mind that the RDA is 2400 mg. People who follow a low sodium diet generally restrict sodium to as low as 1500mg/day. So at 200mg, Greenberry Shakeology only represents 8% of the recommended daily intake.

Q: What are all ingredients now listed in blends on the 24-count cartons?
A: Ingredients on the Greenberry Shakeology packaging have been grouped in such a way to help customers more easily understand the categories of ingredients and their benefits.

Q: Why was Suma Root removed from Greenberry Shakeology?
A: Recently, the World Anti-Doping Association (WADA) and the National Football League (NFL) released a new list of nationally banned substances. Because current drug screening technologies are unable to differentiate between natural, healthy substances and synthetic banned substances, the list now encompasses a group of all-natural phyto-chemical compounds known as ecdysteroids, which are found in various plants around the globe. Since the ecdysterone found in Suma Root can be erroneously detected as a banned synthetic substance, we have chosen to exclude it from Greenberry Shakeology.

Q: Why was Blue-green algae removed from Greenberry Shakeology?
A: The numerous benefits derived from blue-green algae are found in the other ingredients found in Shakeology’s Phytonutrient / Super-Greens blend.

Q: Why is only one strain of probiotics listed on the new Greenberry Shakeology label rather than the 6 listed on the old formula?
A: Bacillus Coagulans is a powerful strain of probiotics proven to survive the acids in the stomach and reach the intestine where it is intended to function. Probiotics are good bacteria that help create a healthy environment in the intestines, to maintain healthy and improved digestive function. These friendly organisms may also help fight bacteria that cause diarrhea and there’s also evidence that probiotics help maintain a strong immune system. This is why the probiotics need to reach the intestines instead of being eaten up in the stomach and why we have upgraded our probiotic strain.

Q: Is Greenberry Shakeology gluten-free?
A: The Shakeology formula does not contain any gluten-based ingredients and we make every effort to prevent any ingredients with gluten from coming into direct or indirect contact with our products. However, because of our high standards we do not feel it is appropriate to make a gluten-free claim since Shakeology is produced in facilities that also handle gluten based ingredients. If you have a concern about gluten it is best to consult your doctor before making any dietary changes.

Q: Original Greenberry Shakeology used to say it was Gluten–free. Why has it changed?
A: Because the safety of our customers is extremely important to us we felt it was prudent to include the statement that Shakeology is made in a factory that also handles gluten (wheat) based ingredients and we removed the Gluten Free statement. This does not mean that Shakeology contains gluten, in fact the Shakeology formula does not have any gluten based ingredients and we make every effort to prevent any ingredients with gluten from coming into direct or indirect contact with our product. This is taking a very conservative approach—however, the health and safety of consumers is our number one priority.

Q: When will Shakeology be certified gluten-free?
A: There are no gluten-based ingredients in the Shakeology formula. Although we can apply for a gluten-free certification, the safety of our customers is extremely important to us and until we are satisfied that our high standards can be met we will not put a gluten-free certified statement on the package. To meet our internal standards, we are reviewing our entire supply chain of nearly 100 ingredients to ensure that there is no potential exposure to gluten-based grains from the farm to the Shakeology product being sealed in the final package. At this point we cannot say when that assessment will be complete.

Q: Is Greenberry Shakeology free from allergens?
A: Shakeology is formulated to be free of the common 8 allergens, however, Shakeology is made in a manufacturing facility that also process allergens such as soy, wheat, milk and gluten. While our manufacturing procedures follows strict, required FDA Good Manufacturing Practices (GMPs), which include cleaning and breaking down of equipment between production runs and proper air filtration systems as precautionary measures, the possibility of cross-contamination can never be 100% eliminated, therefore we include the warning statement as a precaution to make our customers aware that Shakeology is manufactured in a facility that also processes soy, egg, fish, crustacean shellfish, tree nuts, and wheat (gluten) ingredients.” We feel this is a responsible approach to help those with extreme sensitivities to such ingredients make an informed decision about the use of Shakeology.

Wow! That was a lot of information!  Ready to order?  Just click here!

This weekend was Compassion Sunday all over the country.  We had the privilege go to the Compassion Experience at Woodmen Valley Church with my mother in law, niece, boys, and my husband.  Even as I entered the building, tears began to well up as I was holding back the sobbing that I felt was welling in my throat.  Just the pictures on the wall & scripture made me feel like I could hardly walk another step before I just bawled!

The Compassion Experience has you “walk” through the life of 3 different Compassion children:  one from Bolivia, one from Uganda, and one was from India.  My husband had gone through the Compassion Experience on Thursday and he said “I almost cried.” Which means in translation, “It was REALLY powerful.”  (since he never cries)

We entered the life of “Brinda” from India.  I so desperately wanted my children to understand what it was like for other children in other countries.  And, I believe they got a glimpse (ever so small) into the life a little girl whose life was changed by Compassion International.  But, they couldn’t really touch, smell, and feel her life.  I pray that someday soon they will get to experience how lives are being changed in the midst of poverty and suffering.

It brought me back to where I was a year ago.  We had just returned from our trip to Ecuador.  The smells and sights were still fresh.  I was trying to process what God had taught me for those 5 days with 27 women.  (And, I went right into the Ultimate Reset which was difficult, too.)  What did God want me to do with what I saw, smelled, and felt?  How could I convey it to others so that they were partially moved?

This Sunday, I was sitting at Compassion Sunday hoping and praying that the people around me “get it”.  I was praying that they “get” what $38 a month really does in a child’s life.  And, it’s not that $38 but letters and support they get from that person who sends the $38 a month.  The hope.

I grew up Southern Baptist and whenever we had a missionary come to speak, I have to admit, sometimes I wished I had missed that Sunday.  Sometimes it was boring.  It didn’t stir me.  Were the people sitting around me today at Compassion Sunday being stirred by the statistics and stories?  I desperately wanted them to!  I had seen poverty…real poverty…first hand.  It changed me.  It moved me.  It made me want to change the way I live and share with others how they could help end (yes, end) poverty.  Were they being moved today?

It made me think of the countless Christians and churches who do NOTHING to end poverty here and around the world.  I’m not bashing Christians and churches but maybe they just don’t understand how they can help.  Maybe they ignore the stirring God has given them?  Maybe they think of the scripture when Jesus said, “You will always have poor people with you. You can help them any time you want to. But you will not always have me.” (Mark 14:7) means that poverty is a hopeless case because we’ll always have poor people?  That poverty is just part of life?

But, there are many other scriptures where Jesus tells them to sell all they have and give to the poor.

I do believe there is a rising of Christians who are AWAKENED to the needs of others here and around the world.  They are ready to do something about it!  And, for that, I am grateful!  As we share with others our passion for helping the poor, others will catch on.  They too will be awakened!

Have you been awakened yet?  When you see pictures of poverty is there a tiny part in your that is beginning to stir?  That’s where it begins.  And, don’t worry,  if you act upon that stirring most likely God will not call you to sell all you have and move to Africa (as I had always feared for myself).  Perhaps, God is showing you how in a small way you can start by changing just ONE life.

Find a Child you can sponsor today by clicking here.  Share with others your stirring.

“Speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves.
    Speak up for the rights of all those who are poor.”  Proverbs 31:8

My friend Meridith does 7 minute posts.  You know, for those times when you are super busy but you just need to get something off your chest.  So, I thought I’d copy her. The timer is set and here I go…

So, my nephew is graduating in May…which sort of freaks me out.  He was 3 when I met him.  The past month I’ve been looking at  Facebook pictures of kids going to Prom that were in middle school when I met them.  How is that possible?

My boys are 13 & 11.  I know I am going to blink and they will be graduating High School.  So…I’m savoring every moment with them!  I literally thought today, “Will only has 6 more Track seasons left.”  Mind you…he hasn’t even started his FIRST season.  Yes, I’m being THAT mom.

If you have toddlers or preschool children, you may be like I was.  I’ll admit it here.  I was not a fan of the infant-preschool age.  (Yes, all those years.)  When they turned about 4 is when it became fun for me and I’ve been trying to get them to stop growing ever since! They tell me they can’t.  Whatever.

And, I remember when my kids were young looking at those older moms thinking, “Wow! They are OLD.”  That’s where I am now and I don’t feel old.  I still feel 25!

Time is all relative but time does NOT stand still.   So, I will savor every soccer game, basketball game, football game, track meet, school dance (gulp), and everything else that will come my way in the coming years.  I will slow down and savor every moment.  I think that’s why our trip to Disney was so special.  I soaked everything in with my boys because I’ll never know if I’ll have that special time with them again.

Do you think that’s what Mary did?

Luke 2:19 says, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  And…that was when Jesus was just a baby.  Maybe she had an inclination that his life would be short and to treasure every second.

Alright…my 7 minutes is over!  Whew! Glad to have that off my chest!

We just returned from an earned trip from Beachbody to Walt Disney World’s Yacht Club Resort (one of the many perks of being a Beachbody Coach).  When I found out about the trip, I immediately called my Dad to tell him that I was going to earn a trip to Walt Disney World and to mark his calendar to go with us.  That was 14 months ago…and as you know by now…a lot has happened since then.  And, less than a month before we left to go on the trip, my husband found out he was unable to go on the trip because of some work deadlines.

With Dad’s iffy health, my husband’s inability to go, and the boys having to miss 4 days of school, I really questioned whether we should go on the trip.  But, it was my dad’s dream to take the boys to Disney World and I wanted to make that dream a reality.  Plus, it was a mostly paid for trip to Walt Disney World!

Because of the way we were going to travel before we found out my husband couldn’t go on the trip, we were going to be at Walt Disney World for 7 nights/8 days!  We had taken the boys to Walt Disney World when they were 5 & 7 (almost 6 years ago) and I remember thinking we stayed too long (6 nights/7 days).  Two of my biggest worries were:  would my parents actually make it to Walt Disney World and would the trip be too long?

We got off the plane and 30 minutes my parents got off their plane as we met them at their gate.  My Dad (with his bald head and weakened body) and my Mom had made it to Orlando.    It was really happening!  We took the transportation to the Yacht Club and our Disney Trip began.

I could bore you with all the fun things we did and all the highlights (Private dinner at the Indiana Jones Stage, Private Beachbody Character Dinners, Spring Training Baseball Game, trying out for American Idol and getting to sing on stage, riding Big Thunder Mountain 4 times in 1 hour, etc.) but here is what I left thinking…

I AM HAPPY.

The time with my boys I will never forget.  Although we missed my husband, I so loved the time alone with my boys.  And, I got to give them my undivided attention.  No work, no distractions…just the 3 of us!  We had the best time together and I pray they will never forget the time we had.  I would just take in different moments with them wanting to pinch myself.  Time is fleeting with them and I just wanted to savor every second.  The time with them truly was priceless.  And, after 8 days…we weren’t ready to leave!

The time with my parents I will never forget.  Making memories and laughing together was such a highlight.  If you haven’t guessed already, Cancer Sucks.  And, the chemo and radiation have taken a toll on my strong Daddy.  To forget for brief moments about the cancer was priceless (especially my dad being silly at the Brown Derby dinner).  And, watching my mom play card games with the boys on her bed and my dad watching March Madness with them…memory makers for me!  Although Dad’s body wouldn’t allow him to do as much as we had hoped, we were grateful for the time together.

The time with my Coaches I will never forget.  Although they were spending their time with their families, I got to see most of them several times.  And, to watch them enjoying their families with a trip they had earned…priceless.  I was so proud of each one for working so hard!  And, the trip was over-the-top.  Beachbody knows how to do trips!  Their families just had grins from ear to ear!

It truly was the “Happiest Place on Earth” for me.

Although, the Cancer is still there, we will get busy with our crazy schedules, and it’s time to get to work to earn next year’s trip, I am so grateful for the priceless memories I created this last week.

Soak up your life.  It’s too short.  It moves too quickly.  Make the most of it…and be HAPPY wherever you are.

I hope the other two blog posts have been helpful to you as you have reflected on the friendships you have in your life.  Today, we’ll go over a few other points of friendship I believe Jesus showed us that are important.

Love those who are difficult.  You never know what they are going through behind closed doors.  Jesus hung out with tax collectors, prostitutes and the lowest of the lowest!  I’m sure it was hard because their choices were so opposite of what Christ taught.  But, He loved them anyway.  Mind you…he still had the 12 with him, which brings up a good point.  You have to have that grounding of like-minded people around you so that you won’t get pulled down.  My husband is really good about this.  I’m always amazing how he doesn’t prejudge people and is their friend regardless.

One of my friends told me that she prays and asks God to release her of certain friendships.  If He doesn’t, she sticks with that friend.  Doesn’t mean she has to spend all her time with that person, she is just called to love them through a difficult situation.

It’s Ok to not be OK.  Real friends will love you no matter what season you are in.  Jesus didn’t ask the disciples to follow Him AFTER they got their life in order.  He took them where they were.  And, they were from all walks of life.  And, obviously from their questions and actions…they were not perfect.  Sometimes in the Christian faith, we don’t think it’s ok to struggle.  Paul had a thorn in his side the whole time.  We don’t know what that was…whether it was physical or other.  But, it was a struggle.  Was he working through it…yes!  But, it was still there.  Your friends will be there for you when you struggle and love you through the struggle.  Good friends don’t enable the struggle. They will pray for you, challenge you, and encourage you.  It’s time to be vulnerable!

Friends help us be better people.  Jesus created the friend culture.  As I studied the bible I realized the difference in the old testament and the new.  Friendships are a Commandment and that’s what Jesus modeled to us!  How can you love one another if you don’t invest in relationships/friendships?

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”  1 John 4:7

Dear Friends is mentioned 23 Times in the New Testament but not one time in the Old Testament.  I’m no biblical scholar by any means but I believe Christ’s death created a bond for all Christians.   We are now Brothers and Sisters…Dear Friends.  “Dear Friends” is an encouraging word to those who were being written to. It was a warm greeting.  A friend is someone who relates to you.

It’s mentioned in:

These books written by Paul:

Romans

1 & 2 Corinthians

Philippians

Hebrews

1 & 2 Peter (written by Peter)

1 John (written by John)

Jude (written by James)

And, in these letters they were not only encouraging fellow believers, but they were also sending out warnings to them and protecting them.  They were teaching them how to love others.  And, they were loving each other through some of the toughest times in history.  A true friend is there no matter what you are going through!

We need friends like that and need to be friends like that!  The kind of friends that teach each other and help become better people.  The kind of friend that is bold enough to tell us when we are headed down the wrong path.

When I was single, I started dating this guy who wasn’t a Christian.  My friend asked me if he was a Christian and I told her “no.”  She then said, “What are you doing with him then?”  Well, my feathers were ruffled.  Who was SHE to tell me who to date?  The next day I broke up with him.  I’ll never forget her courage to call me on something that was clearly not the direction God wanted me to be in.  She was a true friend!

God gave us friends so we can be encouraged and encourage others.  He called us to love one another…and that’s what friends do.

Jesus is your best friend. I know that sounds “church answer” but He should be the one you go to first with your problems, victories, and requests.  When everyone else has left, he hasn’t.  And, if you pray for it, God will provide you an earthly friend just at the right time.

I remember when we moved to Houston from Phoenix.  I was 13.  I’ll never forget my mom telling me she’d be my best friend since neither one of us had friends.  She still is my best friend.

But, that’s what Jesus does.  He is there for us when we don’t have any friends.  He won’t hurt us.  He’ll be honest.  He wants to spend time with us.  He wants to invest in us.  He wants us to come to him when we are not OK.

He chose US!

And…I believe he also gave us a little bit of himself with skin on.  I learn about him every day from my friendships.

When I told my 10 ½ year old son Jake that I was going to speak in California, he asked what I was speaking on, I told him “Friendships”.  He laughed and said, “That’s a dumb thing to talk about.”  I started to study friendships by looking at the Old Testament and the New.  But, the friend that really stuck out to me the most was Jesus.  And, especially the friendship He had with his 12 disciples.

The next day, I asked Jake, “Who was the person in the bible that hung out with 12 people?”.

“Jesus”, he said.

“What was the thing you missed the most when you moved from Texas?”, I asked.

“My friends.”, he replied.

As I explained to him about what I had learned about Jesus and the disciples, Jake’s eyes got really big and said, “Mom!  That is a great thing to talk about!”  Jake loves friends and has really missed the friends he had in Texas. He’d known them his whole life.  And, truthfully, those friends were really nice boys.  Jake gets the importance of friendships.

Here are a few principles of friendship that I learned in my studying the GREATEST friend of them all!

Friendships aren’t caddy like a “Real Housewives” episode.  And, if you feel like your friends treat you like those people, it’s time to pray that God will give you new, REAL friends.  Jesus was careful what friends he chose.  He went to the mountains and prayed about who would be the 12.

“Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him.  He appointed the twelve…” Mark 3:13

The scripture goes on to say who he appointed:

“These are the twelve he appointed: Simon Peter, James son of Zebedee and his brother John, Andrew, Phillip, Bartholemew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Thaddeus, Simon the Zealot, and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.”

The 12 weren’t perfect…I mean one betrayed him and another denied him 3 times before morning.  But, he chose friends who he believed would encourage him and help him.

I wonder how many people had their feelings hurt that they weren’t chosen to be the 12?  Obviously there were more than 12 if he had to choose which ones.  By the time he had chosen the 12, He’d become very popular and was drawing crowds.

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”   Proverbs 12:26

Sometimes we think someone is our friend but their influence is carrying us down the wrong path.  And, it can be the slightest thing.  We teach our children to “choose friends wisely” but sometimes don’t tell ourselves to do the same.  I’m not saying you have to cut all ties with those friends but maybe chose not to spend time with them if they are dragging you into sinful things.  And, pray about if you need to cut all ties.  And, I’m not saying remain “righteous” in your own eyes by not confiding in and trusting people.

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  Proverbs 18:24

Do you have a friend who is as close as a brother/sister?  If not, it’s ok.  Pray that God will bring that friend into your life.

Friends Celebrate With Us.  There was much celebrating with the miracles that Jesus performed.  Water into Wine.  Healing after healing.  Miracle after Miracle.  It’s way more fun to celebrate with friends!

A friend rejoices with us.  They are not jealous of our victories!  When I told my best friend, Melissa, I was moving to Colorado, she could have treated me the way I treated her when she moved to Iowa.  But, she didn’t!  She celebrated with me what God was doing in my life. That is a true friend.

Friends Don’t Gossip.  And, if you are stirring up trouble and gossiping about others, it’s time that you own up to your actions, turn from them, and start being the friend God has called you to be.

And, that’s what Jesus had:

“Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him.  But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done.  Then the chief priests and Pharisees called a meeting of the Sanhedrin.  “What are we accomplishing?’ they asked.  “Here is this man performing many miraculous signs.  If we let him go like this, everyone will believe in him, and then the Romans will come and take away both our place (temple) and our nation.”  John 11: 45-48

Ooh, they were stirring up trouble!  And, this gossip is what lead to Christ’s death  Do you have friends that are constantly in “drama”?  Or if you were honest, are you the person who is stirring up “drama”?

Soften Your Heart.  If you’ve been hurt and are ready to give up on relationships, pray that God will soften your heart and allow you to be open to who He brings in your life.

Jesus was betrayed…by one of his 12!  Obviously, he was Christ and know it was coming but I’m sure he still felt the hurt.  And, that kind of betrayal has got to be worse than any kind of betrayal we’ve ever faced.  But, knowing what was to come, Jesus still opened himself up to having friends.  He knew how important it was.

Protect yourself from hurtful people.  But, don’t protect yourself from all people.  Friendships take work but they are worth it!  And, reliable friends take time and effort.  They don’t just happen.  If you look at the friends you have right now, are they reliable?

I was going through some “relationship drama” right before Traci called me to speak at a Woman’s Breakfast.  I seriously wanted to crawl in a hole and never talk to another person.  It seemed like every relationship I had was difficult and I just wanted to give up on all people. (Yes, I’m dramatic…obviously not ALL relationships were difficult at the time.)

I was sitting in my car watching my kids sled and asking the Lord, why relationships were so hard.  Marriage, family, friends, business…all the relationships seemed to be overwhelmingly hard.  I got on Facebook and saw a post from an Author that I really have gotten a lot out of her books.  Her name is Lysa TerKeurst (make sure you read “Made to Crave” and “Unglued”).  Her Facebook post read:

“Here’s the thing: conflict is a part of relationships. It’s not the absence of conflict that will determine whether or not we have good relationships, it’s knowing how to handle the conflicts that WILL arise.   Learn more about handling your reactions in the midst of conflict by listening to my radio segment with Focus on the Family! Just click the link below to tune in.”

So, I did. And, it was about dealing with Raw Emotions.  Most of it was what I’d learned from reading Unglued but I obviously needed a reminder.  God gave me that time at that very moment to encourage me that “RELATIONSHIPS ARE WORTH IT”.

Traci texted me shortly after, she told me that she’d had a vision of me speaking to a group of women.  I knew that I was called to share what God was teaching me: “RELATIONSHIPS ARE WORTH IT”.

Invest in others.  Clear out your schedule to have “friend time”, especially with other Christian women.  Your time will be blessed. I know it always has been for me.  Jesus was busy.  People were coming at him from all angles but he was purposeful in getting away with the 12 disciples.   He spent one on one time with them.

It takes a LOT of time to get to know people.  When our babies were little, we called it “choppy talk” because you were talking in between chasing toddlers and pretty much never finished the 12 things you were discussing!  As adults it takes LOTS of time to get to know…truly know…others.  You’ve got to carve out time for friend time.  It takes asking questions to get to know others.

I don’t feel like I’ve made it a priority since moving to Colorado and it was totally “my thing” in Texas.  I was very intentional about investing in others.   I know sweet people have reached out to me but I knew relationships would take time and at the time…I didn’t want to make time plus I didn’t want to be vulnerable.  I think I pushed some people away.

Because God has been showing me over and over again how important relationships are, and how he has created me to invest in others.  As I have been obedient over the last few weeks to invest in others, I have been abundantly blessed.

Initiate Friend Time.  It doesn’t happen automatically and it takes work.  Don’t sit around waiting for others to make plans with you.  Take the initiative to make plans.  Jesus ASKED the disciples to follow Him.   He didn’t wait around saying, “I hope they follow me.   Why haven’t they asked to follow me?”

I haven’t initiated friend time like I should since moving to Colorado.  Probably because I have been so overwhelmed with my business, remodeling the house, and my dad.   Truthfully, I think I was waiting around for people to make plans with me.  And, many did.  But, there were times I would sit around wishing someone would initiate time with me because making plans seemed too daunting.  As I have begun to initiate friend time, it’s amazing what a difference it has made.  No more moping around.

One of my friends moved to San Diego.  She knew if she was going to make friends…it was on her shoulders.  So she has been very intentional about setting up workout dates, girls night out, and other events.  She is SO happy and has seen the biggest difference.  She wasn’t going to wait around for someone else, she knew if she was going to have friends…she was going to have to make it happen.

Stay tuned for Part 3 of this series…

FRIENDSHIPS

When I was younger, I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends.  I didn’t particularly like sleepovers and didn’t mind playing by myself.  I always had lots of acquaintances but not a BFF.  We moved the end of my 7^th grade year.  8^th grade I was only friends with a few misfits but again… could totally be by myself.  I did, however, start to make friends at my church but we all went to different schools.

I’ll never forget 9^th grade.  I was a nervous wreck about starting school.  That first day at lunch, I didn’t have anyone to sit with.  I knew a lot of people, but didn’t have a friend that was close enough to sit with.  So, I spent my lunch going around talking to various tables of people.  It wasn’t until that Homecoming, that I got to know Kimberly.  We became fast friends and I began to sit with her at lunch.  I finally had a friend.  We were pretty much inseparable throughout high school.  And, along with her we created a group of friends we called “the 7 dwarfs”.  I finally had friends!  And, I learned the good and the bad of friendships.

I didn’t go to college with any of my good friends.  So, I made new ones.  And, I loved making new friends!  I knew how important friends were now that I had such great ones from High School.  One of the friends in the room next to me was Eileen.  She impressed me so much because of the way she kept up with her friends from high school.  She taught me that friendships were worth investing in and keeping up with.  It was something that has stuck with me the rest of my life.

In college, I made some good and some bad friend choices.  Some of my friends brought encouraged me & some friends helped me make wrong choices.

After college, I had a decision to make.  Who was I going to be?  Bar hopping friends were out and I began to develop friends at church, bible study, and work.

Then came marriage…oh, goodness!  That opens up a whole dimension of friendships because not only do you have to find common ground with that person…so does your spouse.  And, let me tell you…my husband and I have different tastes in friends.  That is when I began praying for friends.

I remember meeting a nice girl from across the street. We went for a walk together one day and she was telling me how she wanted to get pregnant.  Being only 8 months into my marriage, getting pregnant wasn’t really on my radar.  1 month later, I found out I was pregnant.  So, I went to that new friend, Melissa, and told her she had to get pregnant so we could have babies together.  I’m sure she thought I was crazy because we didn’t even know each other very well.  We’d only spent time together a few times.  5 weeks later, she was pregnant.  Our boys ended up being born 11 days apart.

My friendship with Melissa wasn’t instant.  It took work.  Being a new stay at home mom was emotional for me.  I’d had a fun job and talked on the phone all day long!  Now I was home with a little guy who didn’t interact with me all.

That’s when I decided I need friends.  I needed adults to have conversations with or I was going to go crazy!  (Like that Tom Hanks movie when he talks to the volleyball, crazy.)  We started a playgroup and that really helped. But, it was taking much longer to develop deep friendships with these ladies.  Why?  It was because we only had “choppy talk” (what I called it).  Our conversations could only remain in bits and pieces because we were chasing after babies and toddlers.  Much more quantity time was required to get deeper with these ladies because the quality time wasn’t there.  But, I continued to pray for friends.  God had shown me the importance of friendships and I craved them!

And, God continued to answer my prayers.

I’ll never forget when Melissa told me she was moving to Iowa.  I was devastated.  She was my best friend.  Our boys were 11 days apart!  How could she betray me?  I have to admit, I took the news hard and definitely made her “pay” for moving.  6 weeks after her second son was born, she loaded the truck to Iowa.

When I found out she was moving, I began praying for a friend.  That Christmas, I had a cookie exchange with ladies from my church and this lady told me her son’s name was Charlie.  I almost screamed, “Charlie!  I’ve been meaning to meet you!  My son, Will, wants to play with Charlie and talks about him all time.”  God had answered my prayer for a new friend!  We both had 2 boys about the same age and although we were a tornado whenever we got together, I was so grateful God brought another friend in my life during Melissa’s transition to a new state.  Did she replace Melissa?  Nope.  But, God brought someone to fill in the gap that distance brought.  And, when Melissa moved back 6 years later…it was like not a day had gone by.

And, God has continued to be faithful for the last 8 years…always bringing me a friend just when I have needed one.

A year ago, my husband took a job with Compassion International.  It was his dream job but a huge leap of faith.  We were moving away from my friends (and by this time you know God had blessed me with a lot of friends) and our family.  We kind of moved kicking and screaming, to be honest.  But, we didn’t want to be outside of God’s will.

I’ll never forget standing at my “going away” party surrounded by 25 women.  As I looked around, I remember how God had answered my prayer at a specific time with each woman.  And, I knew He’d be faithful to do the same in Colorado.  What an amazing feeling KNOWING that God WOULD BE faithful!

God brought 3 women in my life right away when I moved to Colorado via Facebook!  Ha!  One lady was in my dad’s singles’ group and my dad had married her and her husband.  Another lady was a close friend of a lady who used to babysit me.  And, another lady’s mom was my Women’s Pastor at our former church.  Gotta love Facebook…and God’s amazing ways of connecting us!  It was so nice to have what I called “instant” friends.

But, life was crazy busy.  My dad had lots of back surgeries so I was going back and forth to check on him, I took a group of women to Ecuador, and my business was exploding.  The time I usually had for friendships wasn’t there.  I’d always MADE time for friendships because it was my #1 priority but my priorities had shifted a bit.

And, truthfully, it was much harder to make friends in Colorado than I had thought.  This Texan felt very out of place.  Most of the time I showed up WAY overdressed and didn’t have a lot in common with the other moms I had met.  And since my boys were a little older, it was harder to make friends with my boys’ friends’ parents.  They had already made their friends and it was hard to penetrate their groups.  I tried making friends at the pool with other moms but was getting frustrated by not meeting others that I just “clicked” with.

Then, on August 3^rd I got a phone call that rocked my world.  My parents’ best friend called to tell me they found an Abscess or a Tumor in my dad’s brain the size of a lemon.  Melissa was at my house visiting with her boys.  I took them to the airport and left on a plane to Houston to be with my family.

I spent 3 weeks of August in Houston.  My dad had 1 surgery 3 days after being diagnosed but 3 weeks later, it came back.  After his second brain surgery, I came home to be with my husband and kids.  I’d been away for about 3 weeks.

Still having no friends, at this point, I didn’t feel like making friends.  How do you make friends when you are a wreck emotionally?  “Hi, do you want to be my friend.  Oh, and I have a lot of baggage…my dad has brain cancer.”

I did allow myself to have 1 friend that I believe God brought into my life.  She is an “easy friend”.  You know the type that just is easy to be around and make conversation?  Her boys were on my boys’ football team.  Our two families hit it off right away.  I have no doubt God brought her in my life for a reason and I’m so grateful for Michele and her family.

I stepped away from all other friendships and was in “survival mode”.  Oh…and my husband decided he wanted to buy a house which needed the whole kitchen remodeled.  So, instead of pouring myself into friendships (which had been “my thing” since high school), I poured myself into my business and the kitchen remodel.   Emotional relationships were just too hard.  And, all that I had emotionally needed to go into my kids and my husband…which wasn’t much.

We moved into the house in December and spent Christmas in Texas.  When January rolled around and my dad’s cancer was “not active and growing” and we were finally in our new house…I didn’t have any more excuses to not make friends.  But, at this point, I felt defeated and the thought of making friends seemed overwhelming to me.  Not wanting to make friends?  Me?  Ok, something is wrong with me.  I think I need an intervention!

One of the ladies I met at the pool this summer became a Coach on my team late December.  We’d met at the Tea Room for the first time a few days before she joined my team. As I got to know her, I realized WHY I love making friends…I love people.  It’s my passion.  Plus, we had one of the conversations where you laugh and cry.  I just love those!  (Could you imagine a guy saying, “I had the best dinner with a guy friend.  We laughed and cried.  It was awesome.”  Girls are so great!

Late January, we met again for Tea which was another great laugh/cry conversation.  That night, I received a text from her: “My mom has brain cancer.”  Isn’t it just like God to put a friend in our life just when we need it.  My friend needed me!  I was several steps ahead of her in the road she was about to journey.

It proved to me once again:  WE NEED FRIENDS.

I believe that God puts people in our lives at the right time. And, if we are praying for those friends and seeking Him, we will see it as such.

But, friendships aren’t always easy.  And, this year, I’ve had my share of hurtful friends.  And, maybe that is you today.  Maybe you are like, “Stephanie, there is no way I’m going to let another friend in my life.  I’ve been hurt too many times in my life.”  Maybe you are like how I was in January not wanting to make the effort because the effort seems too daunting.

I want us to look at one of the greatest friends of them all who gave us a model of friendship…Jesus.  Stay tuned for the next blog post to see what we can learn from Him.

In January 2011, I had the privilege to go with 12 women to Ecuador.  (To be honest, I didn’t even know how to spell Ecuador and had to look it up on the map to find out where it was!)  On that first day, after visiting the Child Survival Program and the home of one of the moms, I felt a holy prompting…an audible voice telling me that I was to bring those that I’m surrounded by back to Ecuador to show them what I had seen.  Ok, this “audible voice” had only happened one other time in my life.  So, I obeyed and immediately came home to start planning a trip.  Thankfully, I had no clue what I was doing and didn’t have gumption to press through once when those that I approached weren’t interested, looking at me like I was talking crazy.  Then, I ran into my precious sweet friend from 7th grade, Brandi.  She grabbed my shoulders and told me how she wanted to make this trip happen.  (You see, God knew I needed Brandi to make it happen because I wouldn’t have followed through with His prompting when it got tough.)

In April of 2012, Brandi and I took 27 women to Ecuador.   It was an unbelievable experience and  from that trip countless children have been sponsored.

My husband had the idea of splitting the cost of a Child Survival Program with 2 other families.  As I was talking with the other 2 ladies that were sponsoring the CSP, we thought how cool it would be to go on another trip and take our kids!  Makes sense, right?  Take our kids and spouse to Peru where we can do a trip similar to the one we did in Ecuador. And, we can meet our sponsor children.

So, we began to plan.  And it was hard.  It seemed like different obstacles were coming in the way.  The dates we wanted to go wouldn’t work so we had to move them to 3 days after our biggest event of the year. And, the cost was going up each day.  But, by this time, I’d seen God bless my obedience and no matter what obstacles that came our way…WE WERE GOING TO PERU.

2 weeks ago, one of my friends who splits the cost of the CSP called me.  She told me she had a bad feeling in her stomach.  She said she didn’t think we should go to Peru.  The timing of the trip and the cost made her feel like it wasn’t the right decision.    (Here’s some background…God has abundantly blessed my business and my 2 friends’ businesses since going to Ecuador in April so cost should NOT be an issue.  It’s all God’s money anyway, right?)  I told my friend to pray about it and we’d talk the following week when she returned from her trip.

I emailed my husband and told him my friend’s concern.  He too was concerned about the cost.  But, it’s my “ultra responsible with money” husband.  I told him, “It’s not our money!  I want to be obedient!  God has blessed us because we’ve been obedient!  I don’t want to be out of His will for our lives!”

We decided to pray about it for the next week and I asked 2 godly women to pray for us as well.  This Thursday, the trip coordinator called me but I let it go to voicemail because I was with a friend..  She’d been in Kenya and I’m sure when she returned was curious why we hadn’t registered for the trip yet.  I texted my husband to ask him again if we were going to go.  He said he was still worried about the money…which of course, annoyed me!  “It’s not our money!”

So, I called the trip coordinator back.  She said, “Stephanie, I have some bad news, you can not go to your Child Survival Program.  It is too dangerous for our staff, the moms, and for your families.”  What?  I started to cry!  God had answered our prayer!  I mean…He just shut the door and locked it!

Although the trip coordinator said we could transfer our money to another project we could go to, I told her no.  God had obviously had us fund THAT CSP for a reason.

And, so now I ask you to pray.  Pray for those Mamas and their babies in a town near Piura, Peru where there is civil unrest, gang violence, and more.  That is our job right now.  It’s not to go to visit them and bring them a bunch of “stuff” so we can feel better.  It’s to pray and get the word out there that they are under oppression and need our prayers! One day we are going to get to go to meet those Mamas because God is going to do something so big that only He can get the glory.  I have goosebumps just thinking about it. But, for now…we will pray.  We will learn to pray like we have never prayed before.  And, we will know that He is in control.

Do you have something you need to stop and pray about?  Do you need an answer?  It might not be the answer you wanted but pray that God will definitely give you an answer.

I’ve been reading “Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson and it’s teaching me so much about lack of prayer in my life!  Obviously, reading that book came at the perfect time for me!  Check it out!