Conveniently, nothing important has happened in snowboarding. But fret not, there is still plenty of things about snowboarding to make fun of (for regular ridicule of snowboarding, you should visit our friends at YoBeat.) But here is a healthy dose of snowboarding absurdness.

Liberty Mountain Snowflex Centre, a new year round, snowless freestyle park at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University (For a full interview on the slope go HERE) will open its lifts on Saturday, August 29 with a freestyle exhibition. While Snowflex slopes have taken off in Europe, the event will mark the first full scale opening of a Snowflex hill here in the States.

For more information on the opening visit www.liberty.edu/snowflex

(via TW Business)

Oh thank heaven! While Falwell maintains that the slope is for the benefit of the general public, AGR has the inside scoop that the slope is Ark 2.0. Because snowboarders are dumb and do things like drink beer and listen to rap, God has planned another Deluge to eradicate the impure (2012?). But it won’t be another flood. No, it will be a rise in global temperature that wipes out all real snow (not to be confused with global warming, that is a myth).

After the Deluge, the only snowboarders left will be wholesome snowboarders who ride for Burton and have migrated to Liberty.

Should you move to the promised slope? Check to see if you identify with some of Ol’ Man Falwell’s greatest hits:

• If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.
• I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!
• The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
• You’ve got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops.

(Image via Sodahead)

Now that we have run out of possible living options, we are ready to get back to ‘goodreedin full gas. Fortunately, nothing interesting happened in June that snowboarders or lurkers should care about. In fact, we don’t think any snowboarding happened in June*, which is terrific.

The only thing that stood out in AGoodReed’s inbox was a certain California-based action sport clothing company’s efforts to commemorate (read: exploit) a pop icon’s death. Enough has already been said about the ploy, but here is our two cents.

• What else would you expect from a company whose M.O. is “Slap some neon all-over print design on a shirt and get a stupid snowboarder to wear it?”
• Good show to everyone for calling the goons out for profiteering on the most recent addition to celebrities who can sell shirts (i.e. Bob Marley, Che Guevara, Bob Dylan, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix).
• From what AGoodReed can decipher, the use of MJ’s image for profit without securing rights is illegal.

Hooray stupid snowboard companies.
*That is unless you are a rich 13-year-old at camp.

As usual, this news likely has little significance to any of our reeders, but Kodak’s announcement that it will discontinue production of Kodachrome film hit us pretty hard.

Eastman Kodak Company announced on June 22, 2009 that it will discontinue sales of KODACHROME Color Film this year, concluding its 74-year run as a photography icon. Sales of KODACHROME, which became the world’s first commercially successful color film in 1935, have declined dramatically in recent years as photographers turned to other films or digital capture. Today, KODACHROME represents just a fraction of one percent of Kodak’s total sales of still-picture films.
…KODACHROME has very distinct characteristics and no film will give the exact same results…

[via Kodak]

Being artsy, sentimental hipsters, we are to sad to see the end of a medium that produced so many memorable images. Assuming you are over the age of 14 and consume less than two energy drinks a day, you may recall that legendary photographer Glen E. Friedman used Kodachrome to capture skateboarding’s Dogtown era as well as the early stages of the punk rock and hip-hop subculture. Friedman comments on his blog,

As far as quality products that mean something to me this one ranks above all else, even Apple. This is like loosing your favorite paint brush or camera lens or guitar, forever.

[via Idealist Propaganda]

[Image via Glen Friedman]

For more of Friedman’s work using Kodachrome, check out Fuck You Heroes, Fuck You Too, The Idealist, or DogTown - The Legend of the Z-Boys.

Though Kodak claims the reason for pulling the plug to be financial, we know that it is snowboarding’s fault. The appalling and ludicrous design trends of snowboarding (i.e. tall tees, tight pants, goggle sag, neon pants, etc.) have single-handedly erased society’s appreciation of aesthetic quality. Hooray!

[Image via Doobybrain]

Apparently, people and wallabies snowboard in Australia. Isn’t that wild? By the looks of it, Aussies have a hard time getting their boards to stay put, so David Kelly invented the K-Brake, a brake for snowboards.

The K-Brake was designed to work in the same way as a ski brake. On the bindings of skiis there is a protrusion that juts out from the bottom of a ski when it is not attached to a boot.

The K-Brake is protrusion that can stop snowboards from running away when they are unmanned - when it they are dropped, fall over, or placed on the snow while the rider fits the bindings. It could be used by beginners when learning to strap themselves into the bindings, and by more experienced boarders when strapping in at the top of steep inclines. This would alleviate the need to try and juggle holding the board while doing up straps.

[via ABC]

Next level leashes folks. Snowboarding just got a whole lot cooler.

Last month, J. Grant Brittain wrote an article for The Skateboard Mag on “Skate Photographer’s Etiquette and Technique or lack thereof,” we recommend giving it a reed. He critiques the growing amount of instant photographers who have no “etiquette, skill, and manners.”

We have been thinking about his commentary, and would like to chip in our two cents on how not to be a goon with a camera.

[Image via Adio Visual]

• Camera phones are for shooting pictures of people picking their nose and shark attacks.
• Shooting “from the hip” is for paparazzi. If you are snowboard/skateboard/extremeness paparazzi, consider slapping yourself. [Editor Note: we did]
• When using a photo for a profile picture, be sure to verify that you did not land the trick (but claim that you did).
• If your subject has to pause to reposition his hat/sunglasses/bandana/fedora after every attempt, leave and never talk to him again.
• If the subject you are shooting asks to check the shot after each picture is taken, smash your camera over his head.
• If you are shooting pictures in a terrain/skate park and are obstructing the features, remember that: “1. You are in a park; 2. You suck; 3. Your subject sucks; 4. AGoodReed sucks, but we are still going to pee on your car.”

• They rule. Damn good tunes.

[Image via Zazzle]

• Dinosaur Jr. lovvvveeesssssss skateboarding and getting wild. The relationship between J Mascis et al. and skateboarding dates back to when the only creatures pushing around on skates were velociraptors (FACT).

• Their music has been featured in numerous skate videos over the years. Neil Blender did the album artwork for a Dinosaur Jr. album. J Mascis has shots in Omar Salazar’s part in Mind Field. The connections go on to include shoes, and signature decks.

But most recently, we have the video for “Over It”, from the album Farm, out on Jagjaguwar in the US on June 23. The video features a good song as well as Kyle Leeper and J Mascis getting wild in the streets. There is also some silly bike riders, some of who are in the band and are therefore redeemed. Take a gander.

The newly published “Born To Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen” by Christopher McDougall exposes the Tarahumara Indians of Mexico who have for centuries have practiced techniques that allow them to run hundreds of miles without rest and chase down anything from a deer to an Olympic marathoner while enjoying every mile of it. One of their secretes: go barefoot.

AGoodReed asks, “Could the shoe-less style benefit skaters?”

In all likelihood though, skateboarding barefoot is probably a terrible idea. In addition to scraping flesh over griptape, the lack of lucrative footwear sponsorships isn’t too appealing. Perhaps an athlete’s foot spray endorsement?

We came across an interesting article about tattoos and idiocy recently. We love a good tattoo, but we love even more a horrible tattoo.

The Sydney Morning Herald reports on a recent study that has found,

One in 20 personal tattoos is a registered trademark…The survey, conducted by Melbourne law firm and trademark attorneys Nicholas Weston, found that up to 5 per cent of tattoos were corporate brands.

Brett Cohen, of the Illustrated Man Tattoo Studio in Sydney, said he had inked about 1000 registered trademarks in his 20 years as a tattooist…[including a] young couple with a logo for a small Pyrmont business, Snowboard Clearance, which was giving away a $1000 snowboard to the first two people who volunteered to have the brand permanently etched on their skin.

Of course, snowboarders are often impulsive and stupid as spit, so this new take on branding isn’t too shocking. But we were rather surprised by the surveys findings for the Top 20 Trade Mark Tattoos.

Of course we find action sport leeches Mountain Dew (17), Fox (9), and Nike (2). But check out the number seven finisher:

7. Holden

[via The Sydney Morning Herald]

[UPDATE, June 11, 2009] Numerous sources have informed us that we falsely implied that the seventh most popular trade mark tattoo is in fact Holden, the Australian automaker, and not the snowboard apparel company of Mr. Mikey Leblanc. AGoodReed is committed to journalistic excellence* and we would like to apologize to our readers, both Holden’s, and wallabies.

*Except when it libel is more fun.

The Mid West Project kids snowboard inside of airport hangers (hella street). They have a really sweet van that they have parties with lots of babes in. They like to drink and make gang gestures. They also enjoy doing that funny thing where you pretend that you are in a gang while wearing snowboard boots. Enjoy!

MWP Springweekend Bispingen 2009 from Lukas Tielke on Vimeo.

[via Superstoker]