funny stories, humor and jokes - aguywalkedintoabar.com

Polish Divorce

jshare — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:59:48 +0000

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce … Read the rest

Moaner Lisa

dave — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:34:49 +0000

Did you hear about the man in Paris who almost got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre?

After planning the crime, getting in and out through all the security at the Louvre, he was caught only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked … Read the rest

Poker on Her

dave — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:11:29 +0000

Two couples were playing poker. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife wasn’t wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, John went to … Read the rest

Four Sons

dave — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 07:45:49 +0000

Four older gentlemen go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is delayed in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

“My son Steve,” says one, “has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as … Read the rest

Mistress vs Wife

dave — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 06:46:19 +0000

An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of … Read the rest

WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE

dave — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 04:58:53 +0000

“DUE TO RECENT ECONOMIC CONDITIONS AND THE RISING COST OF ELECTRICITY, GAS AND OIL, THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL HAS BEEN TURNED OFF.”

~ author unknown modifications by AGuy… Read the rest

What Engineers Are Like In Bed

dave — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:38:01 +0000

A guide for ladies shopping for a Engineering lover. So just how do engineers do it?

Engineers do it with precision.

Electrical engineers are shocked when they do it.

Electrical engineers do it on an impulse.

Electrical engineers do it with large capacities.

Electrical engineers do it with more frequency … Read the rest

Playing Poker with the Rent Money

dave — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:28:26 +0000

“That dirtball husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the housewife told a neighbor friend.

“You didn’t do it, did you?!”

“I have to admit that I did, though with certain misgivings, I might add. But what I haven’t … Read the rest

A Strange Lawyer

dave — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:03:11 +0000

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, since people passing by would tend to think that three men were buried under … Read the rest

I’ve Known These Lawyers Since They Were Boys

dave — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:26:26 +0000

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, a grandmotherly looking lady. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Johnson, do you know me?”

She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Atkins. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a … Read the rest