5 x600 average = 3000 x 5 = 15,000/= Only fifteen thousand! Ahh… Sorry, I expected the amount to be more big and actually I guess yet it. Maybe I made some miss calculation.

Anyways, I was just going to take a shower because I hate this weather and wanted to go out but Arman said that it’s raining in Uttara so we can’t hang out and I am really kinda embarassed to go his home as his mom think something about me (I guess) which is not so good…

Then, what to do… I went out and talk with some lake city friends, and before that I was working on Technojoint’s official website : http://www.technojoint.com/ plus the blog setup will be done tonight (I hope so) … I was just wondering “I am so much fed up of this all” so what she is doing :$ I mean how she is living without me ? So all that she used to say was just a “lie” ? It’s just make me confused and feel ill every time I think that how much lie has spoken to me which I treated as truth ? Well… If everything is really a lie then what all this was about ? A game ? A play ?

If so, then I was just wondering what you would do if you were in my place? take a revenge or let it go ? and BTW, I would suggest everyone to avoid something we call “Chocolate” you can’t imagine how bad it could be… it will make you depends on it… and take away everything from you!

Ahh… She might be going out with friends? having so much as usual? or found a better alternative? umm… alternative… is a crap thing, why I am not looking? Well, I am already fed up of it na? more? Oh god! NO… but well… what about the expense? crap, It’s too much!

I am not sure about how well you know me, but well.. those people who knows me from very close knows that I don’t trust in the creator, neither the ghost and oviously not in horoscope but everyday… I prefer reading Chinese Astrology (http://chinese.astrology.com/) well… only because every night when I comes to home… I just calculate “Everything matched as I read at the morning!”

And last four days, I have been keep reading astrology for something well… but fuck - see what was said :

Dear Ahmed, Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, July 7: It’s a good day to stay at home in the bosom of your family for moral support. Be considerate and helpful to others. Rely on your resourcefulness and adaptability to deal with the erratic changes that may occur today. It would be best to spend the day on non-critical things. Play games with the children. Sit on the patio sipping your favorite drink.

I actually stayed home, but as no-family so no moral support! and it’s actually happens as said… I dont have a kid (wish I could…) so played game alone and sipping drinks with chocklet …

Dear Ahmed ,Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, July 8: Make a day trip with the family or friends to visit a unique nearby tourist attraction. Stop for lunch at an out of the way cafe and browse for souvenirs at a quaint curio shop. Be receptive to everybody’s interests and it could be a very enjoyable day.

Well, I did a drip to a friends home and … gossiped few hours then came back home worked …

Dear Ahmed, Here is your horoscope for Thursday, July 9: You’ll feel constrained and frustrated at work unless you’re tactful and calm. Complex work projects could require understanding and cooperation to complete. You might want to take a friend who needs encouragement out to lunch. Give your partner a break if you’re in a bad mood tonight and let them go to bed early.

Yah… It really was a day! I won’t forget… but well, A friend really joined at Lunch then a chokclet party together at lake city’s varanda then… what I did… can’t remember… Oh yeh, the mood was so anger at night because heard some news…

Umm… spent all money on shit so I cant do home improvemt thing and yeh… I had little harsh with mom today :(

And I really can’t wait to see whats going to happens tomorrow… because I am feeling the life is being a totall “Shit” and can’t imagine how peoples whom I takes more then a God change such… but yah… after four days I got something sweeter on my email :

Your love life will spike today. Remember the feeling of a racing heart? Or butterflies in your stomach? Those feelings will come into your life today. What is lukewarm will heat up and what is simmering will boil over. Be prepared to be swept off your feet as your love life will come full circle today.

Aww… I was really bored here alone in home so racing heart ? butterflies ? wow… Let’s see what happens tomorrow, I hope like evryday tomorrow it will be a truth for me … “God please!…” I am fed-up…

I just can’t imagine living the life like this, everyday expense getting higher. Before 2 day, I had lived a rest of day with only 3, and today… I needed 7 :( I just can’t imagine… what I will do tomorrow? It’s like just now last to me for few hours, then I start missing her… and fact: even If I want… I can’t go back to her, cell switched off… not coming to IM, Facebook … actually hiding! and I really can’t think about going and suddently face her! that’s really … embarassing!

Anyways: Let’s see what happens tomorrow :) Btw, do you guys checkout yourself on Mirror? I don’t :( because I feel so bad everytime I see myself on it… in just 4 days, what I become and what I used to… Gosh! I gotta take away that mirror from washroom… It’s scare me!

BRB Guys, gotta take shower- you guys have fun and see you tomorrow :D

Best wishes,
Ahmed Nitul

Anyways, some news makes peopel suprise! and after not sleeping 5 nights, I got just a “Shock!” and I was thinking about give a break and sleep tonight so I’ll get into work again from tomorrow, but this shock tooks everything from me …

Everyone knows me, and read this blog almost knows Rity very well: Yah! the most weird girl I might ever meet, to be honest; Yah. I love that sick girl some other day of life more then myself. and always thought she deserved the most happiness of the life but facts…

I always treated her special then everyone else I meet in my life, I should not compare with my friends as they even does not belongs to that level. However, she was something who’s priority was sometime above to my mom… who gave me birth!

But funny fact; when we departed! Like some people said, It’s all becoming transparent that she is more sick then my most ordinary friends. Last five nights, I haven’t slept because there was some reason and what actually belongs to her.

First 3 days, whenever my cell rings… I looks into it like Rity called, but finally she never did. Neither replayed any of my messages even some which she must. I was so confused… that “What the really bad things happens that she is acting like this ?” Because in last six month, there are more then hundreds of incident happens which was more important then our last fight reason…

But finally, I found… “the reason” well. I thought it was my fault, I did something which was really excess. I should let her go home with cousins… etc, however. that’s why I dropped her few sms’es just to manage her as I knew she could be anger… but when she did not opened her cell for 5 days!

I got really confused! again, the day she have changed her Facebook mails which belongs to under my auhtority. I just felt once again like Asfhique’s incident, the guy who used to be half of my heart someday were fighting with me for a domain transfer, isn’t that almost same? A girl, who had passed thousand of moments with me changing her FB mail because I could harm her ?

I just deeply pray that she get that thing what she is right now looking for, then I’ll play with some people. Well, I really hate when peoples play with me :( why they do? I know I am kid and some time few thing “So gay!” but let me tell you a real fact… when they gets into mood, it’s more painful then a staight.

Anyways, I am so so speechless! How sick she could be… Just right now, I cant think what should I say or write… or do! Crap! should I laugh ? or Get ready for the game ? or Get into bed ?

I am not sure, not yet decided. I just pray best of luck for her :) I am sure she gonna have some real fun soon… whenever she once again saw my real face: Aye yaar … I don’t trust myself even, how could people think that I blindly trust on them ? Are they sick ? There are every single people likes her fu****ked me in life and well… I never thought she would too, but it’s looks like everyone is same… and everyone should get same as return like others do…

Anyways, I’ll write something tomorrow :) You guys have funn… btw, forget to tell you guys. I got an awesome domain name www.bangladesh.co.cc :) forwarded to nitul.net plus I’m working on something that gonna make you suprised soon…

Btw… what I am exactly now doing is … “Getting scared alone at night home … Milon went to some work and he won’t able to come today, and no one here so it’s just kinda scary … dark night … vew… ghost!”

Best wishes,
Ahmed Nitul