A Hot Cup of Joey

Ranking the Pokemon: #62- Dewgong

2013-06-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

Dewgong is mostly this high up because the actual dugong is pretty cool. Have you ever seen one? Quite entertaining.

With solid HP and Special and OK Defense, Dewgong's not going to wow anyway with its stats. And, like any other Water/Ice type, it learns the basics: Surf, Ice Beam, etc. etc. I just always enjoyed the animation for Aurora Beam, which is an inferior Ice Beam that happens to also lower Attack. However, since I'd rather freeze an opponent than lower their attack, the Gong Show isn't actually very useful. But sometimes nostalgia trumps actual battling ability. And seeing Dewgong shoot off an Aurora Beam in the Elite Four before I finished it off with Thunderbolt is a great memory.

Battling Grade: C+

Previously: #63- Tangela

Ranking the Pokemon: #63- Tangela

2013-06-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

Tangela has awesome Defense and a great Special stat, so its barrage of Grass-type attacks can do some solid damage. Granted, Grass attacks aren't usually the best, but with Sleep Powder and Stun Spore in there (which don't do any actual damage), you really only need one Grasser that DOES do damage.

But there are two main reasons why Tangela is this high up on the list. #1 is that it's only a Grass-type. I'm fairly confident every other Grass-type in Generation I has another type, and it's usually Poison. That only offers up a few more weaknesses, which is no good.

The second reason is Tangela looks like spaghetti, and spaghetti is delicious. Its feet even look like little meatballs. Of course, if my spaghetti was this color, I'd be freaked out. But it's not, so win-win!

Battling Grade: B-

Previously: #64- Fearow

NBA Mean Tweets

2013-06-10T16:51:00.001-07:00

One of Jimmy Kimmel Live's best segments is the "Mean Tweets," which find celebrities and other such folk reading derogatory tweets directed at them. And I don't think any of the past installments has been as funny as this one, starring NBA players. My two favorites are Shaquille O'Neal and DeAndre Jordan, though Andre Iguodala's is very funny as well. Enjoy! And please, make your tweets a little more friendly. We'll all thank you.

Bitchy Resting Face

2013-06-08T22:48:00.001-07:00

Bitchy Resting Face - watch more funny videos

Have you ever noticed people judging you from afar, simply by the look you have on your face? Then you might suffer from "Bitching Resting Face," or, for the fellas, the "Asshole Look." Here's a video from Taylor Orci that teaches us how to...well, face our problems. Together!

Every Pokemon Move in Real Life

2013-06-04T07:10:00.002-07:00

Sometimes a video is so self-explanatory that I don't even need to write about it. I don't know if this is one of those videos, so here goes: My buddy Sean and I decided to make a video depicting what every Pokemon move from Generation I (that's 165, for those of you scoring at home) would look like if applied to a real life situation. Some are stupid, some are clever, and most all feature terrible acting. Enjoy!

Watch, Read, Listen

2013-06-03T01:30:00.000-07:00

It's June, which in Austin means summer is already upon us. So to stay cool, you'll need some distraction. Here are a few great ways to pass the time:

Watch

Beat Making Lab - This PBS Digital Studio series, developed at UNC Chapel Hill, is a program that brings the tools and techniques of digital music making to young musicians in developing nations Stephen Levitin (aka Apple Juice Kid) and Professor Pierce Freelon travel to places like Panama and Senegal and document what they find along the way. It really goes to show how universal the language of music is, and who knows? You may even learn a thing or two about making a killer tune.

It's Alright - I've been on a big Matt & Kim tear recently, and their latest music video finds them doing a choreographed dance on a bed while appearing to be asleep. There's pillow fighting, a rodeo section, and a breakdown with a nod to The Kama Sutra, plus the song is catchy as all get-up. Far better than all of the boring performance-based videos out there nowadays.

Arrested Development - I'll be honest--I haven't seen every episode of Arrested Development. Which, in Austin, apparently, is grounds to be ostracized and banned to a neighboring city. But with Season 4 becoming available on Netflix this past weekend, those seven years of life without the show now just seem like a distant memory. Yes, the pacing is a bit different, and it might take some getting used to, but it's still pretty awesome. Glad to see it finally made it back.

Read

Iris Has Free Time - When Iris Smyles' story starts with a woman in her young 20s at a job fair, freshly graduated from college and looking for something to do, I felt a ping of familiarity. After all, it wasn't too long ago that I found myself with ample free time (and now, I hardly have enough of it). While the character of Iris does produce some frustrating behavior--often by how hard she is on herself--Smyles' writing is a lot of fun and really almost lyrical. Of course, there are plenty of pop-culture and literary references to satiate fans of both, and by the end of the book, the Iris we see is hardly the one that was at that job fair. Rather, she's more wise and mature, though that sense of humor is still quite apparent. (Soft Skull Press).

The Pocket Scavenger - I'm a fan of scavenger hunts, and I'm a fan of choose your own ending books. Keri Smith's The Pocket Scavenger (Perigee Trade Paperback; May 7, 2013; $15.00) combines them both. A used tea bag, something that was part of a tree, and something you can see through are just a few of the many items you'll collect and record in the book. Each item will also require you to make an alteration, truly creating a unique, one-of-a-kind experience. Even better, there's a corresponding iOS and Android app (for once, I can finally say I'm on the iOS side of things) that has players take pictures and make alterations purely by chance, while sharing with friends and seeing what other scavenges or going on nearby. Let the hunt begin!

Facing Ted Williams: Players from the Golden Age of Baseball Recall the Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived - Let's face it--the majority of people (and I would bet everyone reading this blog) are not going to make the big leagues. I have a better chance of going to umpiring school and becoming a Major League umpire than I do a ballplayer. But I always love reading about individual matchups, whether it's a great scorer/defender, a receiver/cornerback, or in this case, a ton of pitchers against arguably the greatest hitter who ever lived. In Facing Ted Williams, a number of greats and non-greats alike talk about what it's like to face Mr. Williams. Some of them only had one appearance against him, and it may have just ended in a walk. Which in the grand scheme of things isn't too terrible. There are also interviews of other position players, which are a nice touch. (Edited by Dave Heller, Sports Publishing, April 2013)

Listen

The Young Things - The New York rockers are dropping their debut album Hello Love/Goodbye Sexual on June 4, but thanks to that handy link I just provided you can listen before it's released. There are definitely some Beatles-esque moments, with just the right amount of "ahh" harmonies and churning guitars. Listen to the title track here.

"Hearts" by Dan Black and Kelis - I first heard of Dan Black courtesy of his song "Symphonies," which showed up on NBA 2K11. That song was delightfully earwormy and a perfect jam to play during the hot summer months. His new single "Hearts" is similarly catchy, and I much prefer Kelis in this role rather than in "Milkshake." The music video's pretty cool too--time lapse stuff is always a winner in my book.

Steriogram - The New Zealand rockers took the U.S. by storm with their 2004 single "Walkie Talkie Man" (which also featured a wonderful yarn music video), and then kind of disappeared from the map. Well, they've still been making music, which I recently discovered is quite good. Songs like "Moving On" and "Texas Beauties," the latter of which is a nod to how awesome the women of Austin are, will get your toe tapping and your head nodding. And if you think that's not what music is all about, I don't know what to tell you.

For the last installment of "Watch, Read, Listen" please click here.

Ranking the Pokemon: #64- Fearow

2013-06-02T08:39:00.002-07:00

Fearow reminds me of those birds that fly over the water for hours at a time, and then just dive in to pluck some fish out of the water. Which I guess is most birds, but still. And looking at the Pokedex entry (which doesn't happen often, so cherish it), Fearow does in fact have endless stamina: "With its huge and magnificent wings, it can keep aloft without ever having to land for rest.

Stat-wise, the large-winged bird has very good Speed and strong Attack, with everything else being pretty subpar. The only problem is the pool of moves it can learn. There's Drill Peck, Agility and...well, that's about it. I guess you could throw Hyper Beam or Double-Edge on there, and maybe Mirror Move? I don't even know. If it didn't have that wicked cool mohawk, it would be a lot lower on this list.

Battling Grade: C

Previously: #65- Seaking

University of Miami "Where's Sebastian?" Video is Amazing

2013-05-23T02:30:00.000-07:00

First of all, a big congrats to my fellow grads of The U. At this point, every student I knew when I was at Miami has now also graduated. And that's terrifying. Mostly for me, because mid-20s crisis and all that. But something magical came out of the 2013 graduation ceremony: a video simply titled "Where's Sebastian?"

Sebastian, for the uninitiated, is the mascot of the University of Miami. He's supposed to be at graduation, but he's too busy hooping it up on the court. So university prez Donna Shalala hits the hardwood to lure him back. She's joined by men's and women's basketball coaches Jim Larranaga and Katie Meier. The video quality looks like something out of the 80s, the acting is pedestrian at best, and the end result is awesome. Watch and enjoy.

Lip Sync-Off on Late Night

2013-05-22T16:54:00.002-07:00

If there's one thing Jimmy Fallon is really good at, it's lip syncing to things (or putting on shows with children's instruments). The former is on full display here, as Fallon battles John Krasinski on Late Night. Who wins? Well, you'll just have to watch to find out for yourself!

Charles Ramsey: Real Hero, Internet Sensation

2013-05-14T03:00:00.000-07:00

After going missing more than 10 years ago, missing Cleveland women Amanda Berry, Michelle Knight and Gina DeJesus were finally found, alive. Charles Ramsey helped in the rescue, hearing Berry calling to him from a house. He and Angel Cordero broke down the door and aided her in escaping. The subsequent interview with Ramsey is the stuff of legend.

New Lonely Island Song Promotes Gay Marriage

2013-05-12T22:31:00.001-07:00

The Lonely Island are back (which makes me a happy boy), and this time they've tackled a hot button issue--the idea of legalizing same-sex marriage. With "Spring Break Anthem," the trio juxtaposes all these ridiculous things spring breakers do that get glorified, while things like honoring and caring for a partner are frowned upon. It's not really laugh out loud funny, but very cleverly done, and sure to get people talking. Even better, it's nestled inside a "Between Two Ferns" episode with Zach Galifianakis, and the video features James Franco and Edward Norton. Check it out NOW!

Man's Drunk Wife Tells Him a Joke and Then He Animates It

2013-05-03T10:01:00.001-07:00

This is just about the greatest thing ever. If there's one thing I love, it's corny puns. And if it involves talking chips? Even better! Adam Patch took a joke his wife told him after downing a bottle of wine and animated said joke. Fantastic.

[Via Gawker]

April Showers Bring...

2013-05-01T19:02:00.003-07:00

Happy May, everyone!

Pentatonix And The Evolution of Music

2013-04-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

Those beat-boxin, a cappella-in' kids from Pentatonix are at it again. This time they've done an Evolution of Music, jumping from the 11th century all the way up to present day. While a few of these songs are terrible and make me disgusted with how bad pop music can be, at least they sound okay when they're only voices and last for about 5-8 seconds. So that's cool. Otherwise, give it a listen!

NBA Inner Monologues

2013-04-21T19:07:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, it's fun to delve into the innermost thoughts of folks. And when those folks are NBA players? Even better! Enjoy the latest installment of "Inner Monologues."

Ship Your Pants

2013-04-18T16:05:00.005-07:00

I don't shop at Kmart often, but my goodness is this a fantastic commercial. I honestly cannot tell that they're saying "ship" on a few of these occasions, but just...just watch the above. Cool feature, too.

Steph Curry Makes Gary Neal Look SILLY

2013-04-17T16:43:00.004-07:00

This is seriously one of the best crossovers I've ever seen. Steph Curry makes the Spurs' Gary Neal look ridiculous three separate times with this move. And of course, he sinks the jumper to cap it off. Otherwise it's not a good move at all. Get it, young buck!

Stephen Colbert Responds to Boston Marathon Bombing

2013-04-17T16:41:00.001-07:00

The Boston Marathon was marred by an unspeakable tragedy on Monday. But perhaps even more spectacular is the outpouring of support and courage shown by those in and around the city. Stephen Colbert sums up that spirit quite nicely in this video.

How Animals Eat Their Food

2013-04-12T15:42:00.004-07:00

This is genius. And must have resulted in quite a bit of food needing to be cleaned up off the floor. MisterEpicMann shows us what it looks like when different animals eat. My personal favorite is the whale, but these are all very good. Enjoy!

Ranking the Pokemon: #65- Seaking

2013-04-11T17:35:00.003-07:00

Seaking is one of those Pokemon that's just kind of generic. It doesn't do anything too great, but it's not THAT horrible. And I just learned that Seaking's name was originally Neptune in Pokemon Red & Blue beta-testing. I did a school report on the planet Neptune one time, and it's pretty cool. So that gets Seaking a few brownie points, even if its Neptune is from the god in Roman mythology. Oh well.

Seaking makes it possible for you to get through later games without ever finding HM07 (which is Waterfall, although in Generation I Waterfall was never an HM, so it's pointless to even mention that. Sorry). That baby horn also makes Seaking able to learn Horn Drill. Any move that can kill an opponent in one hit is A-OK in my book, even if the accuracy is dreadful. Sometimes it's your only line of defense. Throw that along with Surf, Blizzard and Agility, and you have an okay fish. It's a fish out of water, but it's still okay.

Battling Grade: C

Previously: #66- Golbat

Man Catches Foul Beer in His Beer, Attempts to Chug Said Beer, Fails

2013-04-11T17:27:00.003-07:00

The Seattle Mariners don't really have much to get excited about this season, as they're projected by nearly every expert to finish second-to-last in the AL West. The only team that's supposed to finish behind them? The Houston Astros, who just beat Seattle twice in a row.

The second game did have a highlight for the home team, though. This fan catches a foul ball in his beer, then proceeds to chug the beer. Never mind that most of his drink ends up on him rather than in his mouth; the enthusiasm his buddy shows makes up for it. And it probably tasted leathery. Good stuff.

Ranking the Pokemon: #66- Golbat

2013-04-09T21:52:00.001-07:00

Freakin' Golbat. You don't see these things quite as often as Zubats, but they're still out in full abundance in almost any later cave you go into. And, much like Zubat, they're just as easy to kill with any basic Ice/Electric/Rock/Psychic-type attack you want to throw out there. Golbie's stats are all fairly average, with pretty good Speed and meh everything else.

One of the more interesting moves this bat learns is Haze. In the first and second generations of games, Haze resets all stat levels of both Pokemon to 0, and removes any status ailments of your opponent. So it's actually more beneficial to the Pokemon you're fighting against, rather than Golbatta-batta. My favorite thing about Haze, though, involves frozen Pokemon and the move Hyper Beam. Since Hyper Beam attacks and then requires a turn to recharge, if a Pokemon becomes frozen during the recharging turn and then Haze is used, that Pokemon will be unable to attack until it faints or is returned to its owner.

Golbat also looks like that carnival game where you through a beanbag or baseballs or something equally stupid into a clown's mouth and try to knock its teeth out. By my estimation, you still have four shots left, since Golbat still has four teeth. And it's weak against four types. Coincidence? I think not. Well played, Game Freak, well played.

Battling Grade: C

Previously: #67- Magneton

Brutus the Buckeye Gets Absolutely Rocked

2013-04-08T15:48:00.000-07:00

College football spring games were happ'nin' over the weekend, and Brutus Buckeye is probably still feeling the effects. The Ohio State mascot took a snap from the shotgun, and tried to pick up some yards by scrambling downfield. Linebacker David Perkins would have none of it, though, as he completely levels the young buck(eye). Brutus is a champ, though, and hops right back up, albeit after fumbling. Good stuff.

Bob Costas Quotes Ludacris

2013-04-05T15:46:00.000-07:00

Bob Costas quoted Ludacris on the MLB Network the other day. I wish I had more to add, but the clip speaks for itself. The top comment when I first saw this video was "We, as a species, will never top this. Might as well stop trying." Well put, bobtheplumer687. Well put.

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Spoofs Abbott and Costello

2013-04-03T02:00:00.000-07:00

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon has created a sequel to the popular "Who's on First?" sketch that Abbott and Costello perfected all those years ago. While it's not overtly creative, it's cool seeing Billy Crystal and Jerry Seinfeld make appearances. Good stuff all around!