Take WomenPowerConnect (WPC). Its website says its activities are aimed at influencing legislators and policy makers to frame gender-friendly policies which impact women positively. Maybe making laws to have thousands of mothers arrested along with their sons in a false 498A case impacts women positively. The website further says WPC works actively with members of Parliament to protect the interests of women in India. This brings to mind a recent court ruling which deemed that a mother-in-law can be charged under the Domestic Violence Act. Was WPC one of the brains behind the Domestic Violence Act? I guess making a provision to have mothers-in-law arrested is meant to protect the interests of women in India.

Girija Vyas must be living in a fool’s paradise as she thinks lack of awareness leads to the filing of false 498A cases. She does not term it misuse but says the lack of awareness of 498A leads to people being exploited by lawyers and the police. It is a known fact that 498A is misused commonly by educated, working women living in big cities. What this class of women does not lack is awareness. What a convenient way to pass the buck.

Take the case of Flavia Agnes who is opposing the inclusion of irretrievable breakdown as a new ground for divorce because “it will rob women of their negotiating powers during matrimonial litigation”. Does ‘negotiating powers’ amount to ‘emotional blackmail’ in cases where men who have children are separating? It is no secret that women use their children in matrimonial battles by turning them against their fathers and the courts also fail to act in a sensitive manner by depriving men of the chance to be with their children.  Or does ‘negotiating powers’ tantamount to ‘extortion’ by scheming wives who threaten to lodge false cases under Sec 498A and the Domestic Violence Act against their husbands and in-laws? I wonder.

What takes the cake is the insensitive remark of Indrani Sinha of Sanlaap. I don’t know if she is in a slumber like the fictional character ‘Sleeping Beauty’. According to her, it is not easy to misuse 498A and the domestic violence law can also be used by men. That is news to me. Since when did the domestic violence law become gender neutral? Her remarks, coming in the wake of the suicide of a 71-year-old man in Kolkata who was being tortured by his daughter-in-law, are pathetic and disgraceful. But what I object to is these women being quoted in newspaper articles time and again. Can’t we have some sane women instead who have rational views? Sadly, the voices of sane women will never be heard as long as the likes of Kumari and Vyas are in power. Women like me, who strongly protest against the misuse of Sec 498A, will be relegated to writing blogs that are read by few people while the likes of Kumari and Vyas are quoted in newspapers read by lakhs of people. Will women like us ever be heard by the masses?

The Gram Panchayats are prevalent from decades in our country. Although the “Mukhiya” of these panchayats are not much learned people but they are far much better off than the so-called “Learned and well educated Judges” of all the courts. The panchayats are capable of disposing of any matters coming to them immediately after patiently hearing both the parties, but the honorable judges although having a study of the laws are incapable or rather reluctant to deliver judgments or grant justice to the litigants even after years. Is it that these learned judges are ignorant of the laws that have to be followed or is it that they do not sense the “accountability and responsibility” that is on their shoulders?

Why does the judiciary forget that the lives of innumerable citizens are wasted for years because of their inability to give justice to them? Is precious human life to be wasted as the litigants are mere pawns at the hands of these judges who cannot be questioned for their behavior?

The judges of the courts are many times incompetent to either deliver justice or dismiss the case if false. The judges on the reality shows of the TV channel are more honest, sympathetic and more understanding than the judges sitting in courts. The reality show judges know the value of human lives better than the judges in the courts as they give their judgments of the performances given by the contestants just within a few minutes. But the judges sitting in the courts are only good at giving adjournments and dates thus showing their inefficiency in judging even petty cases after years of trials. The judges take the escape route of taking a leave if they are unable to solve a case.

The lawyers play with human lives by misguiding the ignorant citizens so as to extort huge amount of money from the clients. These lawyers go to any length of misconduct and falsehood so that their business may continue. They do not believe in any ethics or moral responsibilities, their only aim is to extract as much money as they can from the clients. Thus they loot the clients of their hard-earned money.

All these facts lead to a question as to “How are these laws passed?” Although the laws are suggested and propagated by the Bureaucrats, the Law-makers, the political and the Feminists groups, these laws are passed off by the ministers of cabinet without being thoroughly reviewed. There may be many loopholes in these laws but who cares, as once a law is passed there is no one to question about the loopholes in these laws nor the proper implementation of these laws is ever questioned.

The most interesting fact about these laws is that the common man, for whom these laws are made, is completely left out of the whole law – making process. Most of the laws specially the “women- centric laws, the women protection laws, the gender biased and one-sided laws like Section 498A of the IPC, the Domestic Violence Act, the Maintenance laws, and the Child-Custody Laws are some of the laws propagated by the NCW, the WCD, the Pseudo Feminists and the Male-Haters the Bureaucrats and the Law-Makers with no consultation or no feedback from any citizens or a single men’s rights organization or any NGOs of husbands or men. Hence these laws with so many loopholes are randomly “Misused” or it may be rather said that “wrong laws are being rightly used by the law-breakers for their personal scores and selfish motives or to extort money.

Thus it may be rightly said that Human lives have become mere puppets at the hands of the unethical and manipulative laws.

The NCW and WCD Ministry has from years promoted and sensitized the false information of wives or daughter-in-law being harassed and tortured either by men or in-laws in order to extract huge funds from the UNICEF, USAID, UN and other funding agencies. The accountability and credibility of this information is never questioned whether the funds are really used for the purpose that should be served. The money is spent in false propaganda of woman being harassed for dowry or violence through the print and electronic media which has a great false impact on the mindsets of people in general.

Every other day some new women-centric, wife-oriented, one-sided and biased laws are proposed by the Feminists and NCW Ministry and propagated by the Male Feminists and Pseudo Bureaucrats. Thus the silent sufferers are the Men, the innocent husbands and their families. These Wife-centric laws are discriminatory in the same gender as well, as they do not serve the purpose of protection to the mothers and sister of husbands. The young wives and DILs are considered as women only by these Male-haters. They even go to the extent of spreading hatred not only for husbands but even his mothers and sisters are included in their hatred and denied any justice.

There are 15 laws for the protection of wife and DIL but not a single law for the protection of mothers and sisters of husbands from the Domestic Violence that they face at the hands of DIL. Is it not discrimination made in the laws made by the Lawmakers? Are we really talking of woman empowerment or creating endangerment in the same sex by the biased laws? Why don’t the Lawmakers realize the fact that violence can be faced by any one from woman to woman and also from woman to man or even from one woman to a whole family of her in-laws?

Recently in the TV news channel Aajtak a program was telecast showing in the state of Rajasthan in the Churu,  Jhunjhunu and Savai Madhopur  districts teenage girls are sold by their parents to Brokers. These girls get married to grooms from where they loot they families after marriage and elope with gold jewelry and cash which is shared by all involved in the racket. Do these sorts of acts fall into the category of woman empowerment or woman endangerment?

The mothers of daughters have a great responsibility towards society and the family upbringing and for the future generations. Just as in the olden times even the so called modern mothers should from childhood inculcate in their daughters these qualities – to be tolerant, responsible, adjustable, understanding and respectful towards their in-laws so that she can lead a happy family life. Empowerment of woman does come with arrogance, selfishness, egos, hatred and disrespectfulness for the in-laws.

Recently in a judgment made by the judges A K Sikri and Ajit Bharihoke, they have commented that male members in a matrimonial home perpetrate violence on the wife or DIL through the female members, so a woman in the in-laws (mother or sister) can face action under Domestic Violence Act. This is total discrimination  and bias in the same sex since the wife or Dil cannot be tried even if she perpetrates violence on the old woman or another young woman  or even the male members  either mentally, verbally, physically, emotionally or  socially for no reason whatsoever. Is this the kind of empowerment that the Feminists and Women’ Commission making such a hue and cry about.

Promotion of the concept of woman empowerment in the wrong direction by presenting false notions of independence and protection should be checked. Real empowerment is to sensitize and educate the younger woman with a sense of responsibility, tolerance, family oriented values, and respect for the elders and the male members in the society and family too. In fact today a woman  does not require any empowerment as she is educated and capable of tackling any situation very well, over and above the young woman has all the Women Protective Laws the whole system of  police, lawyers and above all the judiciary at her disposal.

Since the women protection laws are drafted with many loopholes instead of saying that the laws are misused as weapons or tools for spreading Legal -Terrorism it may be very well be said that Wrong Laws are used successfully with manipulated facts, concocted stories of torture and violence with a combination (tadka) of crocodile tears by the wives and Dil to harass the husbands and in-laws by false cases of 498A, DVA, Maintenance, Child custody, sexual harassment, rape etc. She is empowered to do all this with whole corrupted system backing her fully.

I am a woman and I honestly do not support such Woman Empowerment which degrades to be Woman Endangerment in the real sense of the term.

For how long will serial writers keep painting mothers-in-law as manipulative, bossy, greedy and territorial? It’s time to get realistic!

Two women at the mall — one says: “My mother-in-law is an angel.” The other says: “You’re lucky. Mine is still alive.”

The “Monster-in-law” and “suffering daughter-in-law” tales were probably true once, but isn’t it time TV serial writers buried them for good?

One suspects the prickly mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship has been carefully nourished by script-writers. Think of it; stereotyping sells — the mother-in-law is manipulative, bossy, greedy and territorial; every word she utters is a poisoned barb; the mere shadow of the daughter-in-law brings out the devil in her; the helpless daughter-in-law, the martyr, puts up with the 24 X 7 abuse. Phew!

Mutual space

Check reality. Mothers-in-law today ask for space, and do not play boss. And, the social-networking, career-driven daughters-in-law DIL too seem to understand their worth, especially when they plan a family. “We don’t have time to discuss our relationship, so we assume we love each other,” says recently-wed Mridula. Also, when the son chooses his girl, it comes down to ‘gain a daughter or lose the son’.

In the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law equation, the latter, perhaps, is the powerful one today. Since its inception last September, the All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum (AIMPF), has seen over 500 mothers-in-law complaining of abuse by the daughter-in-law.

“My phone rings all the time,” says Neena Dhulia, the Forum co-ordinator, who says “the TV charade” is the not the only one to show a mother-in-law as bad. “Mothers paint mothers-in-law as a fiend, to get girls to fall in line. Haven’t you heard them say: ‘I’m tolerating this (habits), but your mother-in-law won’t'? Our girls are programmed to hate the mother-in-law.” The girl’s relationship with in-laws is bound to be awkward in the beginning, but, why make a mountain of it?

And, there are 15 laws to protect the daughter-in-law, and none to protect the mother-in-law, says Neena.

Groans Rukmini Natarajan: “Sure, it’s my responsibility to accept the girl who shares my son’s life. But, whatever I say, even small-talk to make friends, is misunderstood. I have to weigh my words all the time. So, I just keep mum.”

However, Suman Mahesh, married for 10 years, says: “This delicate skein of a relationship can be woven into a strong fabric of family life. When I first met my husband in graduate school, I had little clue as to what his family might be like. His mom pretty much dissolved any pre-conceived notions I had of her. She’s enthusiastic, energetic, and living-life-to-the-hilt, breaking-the-norm kind of a person. I have her to thank for my husband’s progressive leanings. Over time, tethers such as children, and shared interests in travel, feminism and environmental concerns forged a permanent bond.”

So dear soap writers, tone down the mother-in-law thing before you lose the bulk of your audience.

Think of her as working with her son’s wife to make him a better person. That seems more realistic!

SHE WANTS TO BE…

Loved and respected

Included and taken into confidence

Considered for fun activities

Sub: Open letter opposing support to Congress Party for fielding Renuka Choudhary

Respected Sir,

All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum (AIMPF), is a non-profit non-funded organization, involved in creating awareness about rampant family-breaking happening in India due to abuse of husbands and their families in various false cases under Section 498A of the IPC, the Domestic Violence Act, Section 125 CrPC, etc. AIMPF also creates awareness about the problems faced by the mothers-in-law of India.

AIMPF has come to know via various media reports that your party is planning to support the Congress party in helping Renuka Chowdhury get a Rajya Sabha ticket. We are urging you not to do so because Renuka Chowdhury has made several controversial statements against the Indian culture, Indian men and Indian values.

Renuka, in her tenure as the Women and Child Development ministry has been directly responsible for the arrest of 160,000 innocent women, especially mothers-in-law of wives, under the controversial Section 498A of the Indian penal code, popularly known as the Dowry Law from 2004 – 2008. She has directly contributed to almost as many families being broken leading to more crime in the society.

She also said, “I want to teach men, what their mothers didn’t” – such a statement is a direct insult to all women who have sons. It is out-rightly demeaning on her part to have passed such a statement. Just because she does not have sons, does not mean she can say anything to women who have sons. We, the members of AIMPF, do not want such a woman as a Rajya Sabha member.

She has also said, while passing the anti-male Domestic Violence Act, “It’s time for men to suffer.”

During the Mangalore pub incident, just in order to vent her anger against Pramod Mutalik, Chowdhury, the then Women and Child Development minister, made an irresponsible statement of “Pub bharo” and urged the youth of the country to go and fill the pubs. Such statements may sound fashionable but are extremely demeaning for a woman in position to speak like that.

She once called all the male politicians as “Chauvinist Pigs”. This is nothing short of a racist/hate speech against an entire clan.

Renuka Chowdhury, also spewed venom against men in her interview with Karan Thapar and warned him as well. You can see the video here,

http://www.in.com/videos/watchvideo-karan-thapar-vs-renuka-chaudhary-part-1b-devils-advocate-5665039.html

Hence, in wake of above facts about Renuka Chowdhury, choice lies with you, if you would want such to support the Congress party so that such anti-family, anti-cultural and male hater woman gets a Rajya Sabha Ticket.

We urge you not to do so as it will lead to further social damage, family breaking and will increase threat to national security, as more there are children from broken families, the more they will take to crime and join terrorist and maoist groups which ultimately endanger the society and the national security.

Thanks and Regards

President
All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum

So when a woman is juggling two mothers-in-law, your sympathies would probably lie with the former. Well, you might reconsider when you hear the rather interesting conduct of this bahu.

Meetu Talwar, a resident of West Delhi, allegedly drugged and robbed her two mothers-in-law off jewellery worth Rs 50 lakh on Friday night. The accused’s husband Nirmohan Singh is a businessman and is currently in the US.

Nirmohan’s father has two wives, Savinder Kaur and Har Kaur; both live with Neetu at A-97, Krishna Park in Tilak Nagar.

On May 14,Meetu Talwar served some mango shake to her mothers-in-law. The elderly women had their fill and went to bed. They woke up next morning at 9 am.

“After having the mango shake we slept like dead. There was something wrong with that drink. Both of us have been in the habit of waking up at 5 am for years. When we woke up we saw our safes open. All the jewellery and cash was missing. Then I saw Meetu; she too claimed that her jewellery was missing. We then called up the police,” said Savinder Kaur.

Savinder and Har Kaur suspected that it was a case of robbery – some burglar had broken into their house and had decamped with the jewelery.  But primary investigations by the police indicated that a member of the family was involved.
“When the police expressed their suspicions, I remembered that on the night of the incident, after Meetu had served us the mango shake, she had started behaving strangely. Importantly, we had some artificial jewelery as well, but those boxes were untouched,” Savinder added.

On Sunday afternoon around 1 pm, Meetu left the house with her seven-year-old daughter Muskan. She apparently went out of the back door while her mothers-in-law were busy.  “She must have smelt trouble and that is why she decided to make a run for it. When we tried to find her at her parents’ home, we found the house locked. Her mother and brother are not taking our calls. I believe they must have escaped with her,” Savinder added.

Meetu was the widow of Nirmohan Singh’s elder brother. A year ago Nirmohan arrived in India and got married to Neetu. Now the police have registered an FIR against her.

“We had received a complaint of theft from an old lady. We have now lodged an FIR against her daughter-in-law, she is the prime suspect. Our teams are trying to discover her whereabouts,” said DCP (west) Sharad Aggarwal.

News also at: Tilak Nagar family accuses daughter-in-law of robbery

Hence, in the same context, in India a day should be dedicated as “The Anti Legal- Terrorism Day”. It is the need of the present day as many unconstitutional, gender-biased, one-sided  “wife-centric and “Draconian Laws’ such as Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code, Domestic Violence Act, the many Maintenance laws, Child-Custody and Divorce Law  are being randomly “Misused” by “Wives” and “Daughters –in –law” only with the sole intention of harassing the husband and in-laws and extorting a huge amount either as “Alimony or Maintenance” by manipulation of facts and false allegations on the whole family.

The Police, the Lawyers and the Judiciary are equally responsible for the misuse going on. The innocent husband and his family are tormented by the “Arrest on Demand” and later by the dragging of the cases for years which completely shatters and ruins their family life. The Supreme Court of India has also acknowledged this as “Legal –Terrorism”.

Why not dedicate a day for creating awareness about such a menace which has spread so much pain and terror in the minds and the lives of the people. The Government is spending crores of rupees in fighting terrorism on the borders of the country but what about the legal-terrorism which is rampant in every home. Should we not observe, “The Anti Legal-Terrorism Day” in India?

In cases which have falsely implicated the real and innocent victims (husband and his family) never get justice. The evidences and witnesses presented by the husband and in-laws are very conveniently ignored by the judges according to their whims and fancies as they forget their moral responsibilities. Times have changed now. The Judiciary needs to understand that laws are being misused by young wives to make a fortune at the expense of human lives. Men are being shattered to such an extent that they are forced to commit suicides. Is it not a disgruntled wife committing “Domestic Violence” on her husband and in-laws? Why such gender bias is allowed in the so called temple of justice?

The Judiciary being over enthusiastic,  mild, sympathetic, favoring and  tilted towards women (wives) and biased, indifferent, hostile, unsympathetic and harsh towards men (husbands) it becomes impossible for innocent men to get relief or justice for men in this system and they have little options other than to bow down to illogical  and  unlawful demands of  selfish women. Why such gender biased attitude?

“Gender Parity”, “Gender Neutrality” and “Gender Equality” for men are the demand of the day. If women demand “equal rights” in every other field than why does the judiciary abstain from giving “equal and fundamental rights“ to the “innocent husbands” and delay the justice they are entitled to in false cases filed by their greedy wives. Should not the cases be disposed off as early as possible and the women are ordered equal and severe punishment for harassing the in-law so as to set an example to others.

The whole drama starts at the police-station where very conveniently every complaint is converted into a 498A case as it serves the best opportunity for the police to extort a huge ransom by creating fear in the husbands’ minds. The police not being the “Protector” of the citizens prefer to be the “Supporter” of disgruntled wives. The husband and in- laws are threatened of dire consequences and “Horse-Trading” is rampant at the police-stations. From the police-station the whole drama goes to the courts where the judges, the lawyers, the court-staff and the system as a whole play their part in minting money from the husbands. The court-room drama continues for years.

The “accountability, responsibility and the honesty” of the judges is never questioned. According to law more than three adjournments should not given which is never followed. The judiciary on the pretext of following the laws and procedures actually violate them by granting innumerable adjournments to the young women even if the cases are false.

The litigants are strictly required to follow the court discipline such as not using the mobile phones, sitting without folding the legs, not talking in the court room etc. But is the judiciary following the laws and procedures regularly? If the police fail to follow court orders in a case or if the police do not submit reports demanded by the court in a case, their duty or authenticity is never questioned by the judiciary. But the litigants are harassed for any trivial reason .Are the courts not answerable to the society for such matters?

Cases which can be solved in a single sitting are kept pending in the courts for years thus causing inconvenience to the innocent litigants. Are the courts the business hubs of the lawyers where the litigants are squeezed of their hard-earned money for years?

Times have changed now and the present scenario of the society is different from what it was in the past. Concurrently the mindset of the judges and the law-makers should also undergo a change. Necessary amendments in existing laws should be made according to the  needs and demand of present society where there is random “Misuse” of laws like 489A, Domestic Violence Act ,125 CrPC and many “Women-Centric” laws only to harass the husband and in-laws mainly to extort money.

Whatever may be the consequences of the innocent husbands and his family, the show of the Court rooms must go on, irrelevant of the precious time, money and energy of the litigants. Are judges the “Demigods” and lawyers the “Brokers” of human lives?

The judiciary should act its’ part well by following the laws and procedures judiciously and honestly with responsibility and accountability then only it can revive the faith of society on it. These public servants get their pay from the hard-earned money of the Taxpayers of which men’s contribution comprises 82%.

I am a victim of several false cases filed by my disgruntled daughter-in-law. For the last three years I am attending the court regularly without missing a single date but to my utter surprise and disillusionment I have not seen a single false case being dismissed off or the real victims getting relief or justice. There may be a few exceptions but it is very rare. Thus I leave the matter to the government, the society and the judiciary to decide whether they really want a better system?

By Ram Parmar

An 80-year-old widow has alleged that her daughter-in-law assaulted her, resulting in a broken finger, and barred her from her own Colaba flat. The widow filed a suit in March 2009, but the judgement went against her. She now plans to appeal in High Court.

Diana Demello, 81, accused her daughter-in-law Carol of throwing her out of her flat in Esperanca building at Colaba in 2004. Since then Diana has been living at Vasai with her 77-year-old maid.

Diana has four children, three settled in US, while a son Darryl is in the Merchant Navy and is married to Carol. Diana’s husband died in the 80s.

How it began

Diana Demello

Diana said trouble began in March 2004, when her 96-year-old mother expired in Goa. When Diana returned from Goa, she was denied entry to her Colaba flat by Carol, who she alleges assaulted her, breaking a finger. “I complained to the Colaba police, but was not pleased with the manner in which they treated the case,” said Diana. “Despite being a senior citizen, I was denied justice.”

As her children were abroad, Diana decided to leave Colaba and stay at Vasai where she had already purchased a flat. “I settled there and informed Darryl about Carol’s behaviour. But the trouble continued.

Carol would phone me in the dead of the night and threaten me with dire consequences if I ever thought of returning to the Colaba flat which still belongs to me,” said Diana.

In 2007, Darryl came down briefly, and a reconciliation attempt was made. But things didn’t work out and he left.

“Later, I learnt that Carol was having an affair while still married to Darryl, who was out at sea for most of the year,” said Diana.

Court rules against her

“I put up with the mental torture till March 2009, when I filed a suit against Carol. I mentioned the torture, her illegally grabbing my flat, and the telephonic threats. But, a January 2010 order by Judge V K Shewale of City Civil Court rejected my plea citing lack of evidence,” said Diana.

Diana, who alleges that Carol misled the court, said, “Despite being a heart patient, I will appeal to HC and hope justice will prevail. I’ve even disconnected my phone in Vasai, fearing that Carol will continue threatening me.”

Diana’s son Darryl said, “I had to return as my mother, at her advanced age, cannot do the rounds of the court alone. It came as a shock to learn Carol was having an affair despite my sending Rs 1.10 lakh for her monthly expenses. I’ve appealed for annulment of our marriage, because of the torture Carol inflicted on my mother and also her affair,” said Darryl. “I hope to get justice here too,” he added.