“Nationally, daughter-in-law emerged as the major abuser of the elderly (63.4 per cent) followed by the son (44 per cent) from lower socio economic strata as against the son (53.6 per cent) last year in the higher socio-economic strata,” says a report on ‘Elder abuse and crime in India’, released by HelpAge, India based on the findings in nine cities in the country.

The report lists verbal abuse including ‘speaking in loud voice, using foul langauge, name calling, accusing and blaming’ topping the kind of abuse faced by the elderly in the lower socio-economic strata.

Among the higher socio-economic segment of population the abuse takes form of ‘showing disrespect’ to the elderly.

“While verbal abuse was highest in Delhi NCR, Mumbai, Hyderabad and Chennai reaching 100 per cent, physical abuse was highest in Patna (71 per cent) and the lowest in Ahmedabad,” it notes.

Abuse by son was reported more in Patna (71.4 per cent) and Bangalore (58.8 per cent), while abuse by daughter-in-law was highest in all cities except Bangalore, with Delhi NCR topping at 100 per cent.

Among the factors contributing to the malaise are the shrinking sizes of residences in cities and drastic changes in the social fabric and cultural values of the society and a natural preference of the new generation to opt for nuclear families, the study released on the occasion of ‘World Elder Abuse Awareness Day’, observed on June 15, stated.

The study observed that on a national level, Elder Abuse if highest among the 70 plus elderly and it is mostly elderly women who face abuse due to dependence on sons.

More than one fifth of the elderly (22 per cent) have experienced abuse, the report based on in-dept interviews with respondents, said.

“While Bangalore tops Elder Abuse, cases with a shocking 44 per cent, it is closely followed by Hyderabad (38 per cent) and Bhopal (30 per cent ), Kolkota (23 per cent), the lowest being Chennai at just two per cent,” the study claimed.

The survey has reporoduced a comment by one of the respondents, attributed to the daughter-in-law as a refrain, which is “Budhiya Marti Bhi Nahi Hai” (The old woman does not even die).

The overall percentage of the elderly staying with their sons is put at 72 and Mumbai tops in the category with 86 per cent. Interestingly, Chennai reported the highest percentage of the elderly staying with daughters at 22 per cent.

More than half (51 per cent) of the elderly felt that there has been an increase in the incidents of abuse in the last three years with Bhopal getting the dubious distinction of being the highest at 80 per cent followed by Banglore (74 per cent).

Chennai retained a laudable lowest at 23 per cent also in the spurt in incidents of abuse.

The report also noted passive acceptance of the abuse by the elderly as 98 per cent of them did not register a complaint with police.

Well aware of the repercussions should the matter reach court, George’s client had been pacifying his in-laws by sending them settlements for years.

His wife had sold three of the houses he owned in Bangalore, and was trying to wriggle out of the joint-ownership they shared on the fourth. The twist in this sordid tale? George’s client hadn’t laid so much as a finger on his wife.

The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, which is meant to safeguard the rights of women who have been harmed within their households, can actually serve as a potent weapon for wives looking to make a quick buck off their better halves.

Vandana Vaidya, a practising advocate, says that such cases are more common than one would assume. “Where there’s a law, it will be misused. Clients file false cases if they want to get out of a marriage with a handsome settlement,” she explains.

Most lawyers are well aware of this problem. In fact, George insists on taking up only those cases wherein his clients can substantiate their claims with solid proof. “I try and analyse the intention behind every case, a skill that comes with experience,” he says.

But as Hemanth S, a litigator, illustrates, this isn’t always easy. “Genuine clients can’t always prove their cases, whereas clients who are lying sometimes manage to do so. It’s difficult to determine the veracity of their statements,” he says. Once trapped in a situation where he is being falsely accused of domestic violence, there isn’t much that a man can do.

“If no documented proof of his innocence can be provided, the husband will be persecuted and held accountable for maintenance charges,” says George. Vandana agrees that it is a difficult situation. “The only option is to apply for anticipatory bail, and then fight the case. It helps if the concerned party maintains a low profile because he runs the risk of losing his job. Many private firms don’t want to be associated with cases like this,” she explains.

Clearly, this situation calls for some radical restructuring of legislation.  George feels that the act can be faulted at the most basic level of definition. “It deals only with the grievances of women, and doesn’t anticipate cases that occur the other way round,” he criticises. Vandana believes that misuse of the act can be avoided if steps are taken to ensure only genuine cases are registered. “It would be better if investigation and counselling take place prior to filing a report,” she suggests.

It’s important to remember, though, that the act also protects many women who are victims of domestic abuse. Which is why Hemanth S believes that any solution for the problem has to be balanced. “It is, after all, a social welfare act. Courts need to go into the evidence in more detail, instead of just skimming the surface of the case. It would also make sense to impose a harsher penalty on misusing parties,” he says.

The study conducted on “Elder abuse & crime in India” by Helpage India, an NGO working for elderly health care, in nine cities found daughters-in-law to be the major abuser of the elderly (63.4 per cent) followed by the son (44 per cent) from the lower socio economic strata last year.

In the higher socio economic strata, sons topped the abusers at 53.6 per cent, the study conducted in cities, including Delhi, Mumbai and Bangalore, said.

The outcome of the study, released by city police commissioner Jyothi Prakash Mirji here on the occasion of “World Elder Abuse Awareness Day”, reveals that more than one fifth of the elderly have experienced abuse.

While Bangalore tops elder abuse cases with a shocking 44 per cent, it is closely followed by Hyderabad (38 per cent), Bhopal (30 per cent) and Kolkata (23 per cent), the lowest being Chennai (two per cent).

More than half (51 per cent) of the elderly felt that there has been an increase in the incidents of elder abuse in the last three years, with Bhopal recording the highest (80 per cent), Bangalore (74 per cent) and Chennai the lowest (23 per cent).

Around three fifths of the elderly (57 per cent) reported change in cultural values and lack of economic resources among elderly (56 per cent) as reasons for the increase in incidence of elderly abuse in the past three years, the study said.

While Hyderabad has the highest percentage (84 per cent) of elderly reporting change in cultural values, increase in elder abuse incidents due to “lack of economic resources among the elderly” were reported highest in Kolkatta (79 per cent), Bangalore (77 per cent), Hyderabad (72 per cent) and Delhi (71 per cent).

More than half (52 per cent) of the elderly feel the trend of “nuclear family” as another reason for increase in cases of elder abuse.

According to the study, 19 per cent of India’s elderly feel neglected. Reasons such as “family members are busy in their own lives/work”, “family members do not really interact with them” were voiced.

Forty six per cent of the elderly feel neglected in Bangalore, followed by Hyderabad (37 per cent), Bhopal (30 per cent) and the lowest being Ahmedabad (one per cent).

Mumbai and Bangalore reported the highest percentage of elderly who fear further abuse.

The study was conducted across Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore, Kolkata, Bhopal, Chennai, Patna, Hyderabad and Bangalore in a sample size of 900, with 100 elderly per city.

All these Indian mothers should be proud of their brave sons and always be their support in fighting the “Draconian laws like 498a, D V Act 125 CrPC etc against all odds like the police, the society, the judiciary and above all the biased , unconstitutional “women centric laws”.Such mothers deserve a salute from all, the best gift for these mothers is to see their sons free of all false allegations and unwanted cases. Kudos to these mothers and shame on mothers of disgruntled and unscrupulous daughters.

This rising trend, aptly named by the Honorable Supreme Court of India as “Legal Terrorism”, has been captured elaborately in the report.

Report can be downloaded here.

The victims have been identified as AT Narayan (65), his wife Indira (60), elder son Vishnuvardhan (35) and younger son Madhusudhan (28). The victims, in a signed five-page suicide note in English, blamed Sangita, Vishnuvardhan’s wife, of causing mental agony and trauma to them, following which they decided to end their lives.

Sangita, a management graduate, was at her parents place in Madurai when the incident took place. When DNA contacted her, she initially thought that it was a joke that her husband was no more. But later she was shocked and did not speak.

The victims’ neighbours informed the police about the foul smell coming from the flat. The four victims were found dead in the bedroom. The police recovered a whisky bottle, a soft drink bottle, two soda water bottles and honey bottles.

The Hinjewadi police have registered a case of accidental death. Police sub-inspector Ramesh Pawar, who is investigating the case, said the family hailed from Madurai and had settled in Pune five years ago.

Vishnuvardhan worked as a software analyst with JP Morgan, a leading financial services firm, and was posted in Mumbai.
His father is a retired government official from Tamil Nadu.

Madhusudhan had recently retuned to India after completing his masters in business management in the US. Vishnuvardhan too had worked for a few years there before coming back to India ahead of his marriage in October last year.

The police, quoting the suicide note, said the problem began after the company transferred him to Mumbai from Nigdi.

Deputy commissioner of police (zone III) Dnyaneshwar Chavan said the suicide note dated March 20 was kept inside a file on a table on the drawing room. “They could have committed suicide on that day itself,” he said.

According to Chavan, the victims said in the suicide note that there were frequent fights between Vishnuvardhan and Sangita.

“Since Vishnuvardhan was working in Mumbai, Sangita was insisting that the couple take a flat in Mumbai and stay there, which Vishnuvardhan did not want,” Chavan said, adding that Vishnuvardhan wanted her to stay with the family and he used to travel from Pune to Mumbai for work.

The dispute came to such a pass that Sangita walked out of the house and went to stay with her parents in Madurai. Both the families had tried to sort out the issue, but in vain.

“In the suicide note, the victims claimed that Sangita had threatened to lodge a case of dowry harassment against them.

The victims were under great stress,” police officials said.
Indira’s brother, NR Ramamurthy, who rushed from Bangalore on Thursday, said that a meeting was arranged last week between Vishnuvardhan and Sangita in Bangalore.

“But Sangita did not come and the victims were really dejected,” he said. Chavan said they are probing the matter. “We will record statements of the victims’ relatives and scrutinise the call records, emails and other details before filing a case against Sangita,” he added.

Ashok Lawate, manager of the residential society said, “The family was extremely cordial and maintained friendly relations with neighbours. On Wednesday evening, the residents complained about the foul smell. On thorough inspection, we traced it to their home on second floor,” he added.

He said Indira had visited the society’s office recently informing that Vishnuvardhan wanted to meet Lawate to transfer the flat’s ownership in Indira’s name.

All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum (AIMPF) is the first ever social forum created to protect the rights and interests of the mother-in-law. It is a non-funded non-profit organization which is creating awareness about the problems faced by mothers-in-law and also fights against their de-facto villainous projection in the socio-legal arena. It can be reached at http://www.aimpf.org. This forum was created on 6^th September 2009 in Bangalore and very soon grew into Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Chennai, Nagpur, Lucknow, Chhattisgarh, Guwahati, etc. with more than 3000 members.

On March 8^th 2011, on the International Women’s Day 2010, AIMPF, is conducting a protest in front of the Family Court, Bangalore from 11 AM onwards. This protest is being held to create awareness about the plight of mothers-in-law who are abused by not only their daughters-in-law and their parents but also by the society, judiciary, and the laws.

Why on the International Women’s Day?

1. Feminists and women organizations have campaigned so much negatively against the image of mothers and sisters of men that they are feeling completely alienated as women and do not feel enthusiastic to celebrate International Women’s Day and hence this protest against unwarranted alienation on the eve of International Women’s Day.
2. On International Women’s Day, feminists mostly talk about “young wives” and completely ignore “old mothers”..

Background of the protest

The mothers-in-law could not bear the harassment any further and said, “Enough is enough“. They have formed this forum to campaign against:

1. The stereotyping of mothers-in-law as evil and blood thirsty by media and popular culture. This violates the civil liberties and the constitutional provisions of right to liberty and right to life.
2. It has been scientifically and also statistically established fact that mothers-in-law are unnecessarily maligned and subjected to judgmental attitudes by society.
3. National Family Health Survey (NFHS) (http://www.nfhsindia.org Vol-1 Page 500) has conclusively established that a woman in the age group of 15-49 years of age faces 8 times more violence from her own mother compared to mother-in-law. 13.7% women have faced violence from their own mother as compared to 1.7% women who have faced from their mothers-in-law.
4. Recent Research has shown that “daughters-in-law are programmed to hate mothers-in-law”. This is one of the most important causes of the stereotyping of mothers-in-law in society.
5. In the four years period (2004-2008) 160,000 innocent women have been arrested under Section 498A without trial or investigation on complaint by their son’s/brother’s wife.

Unaddressed Problems faced by mothers-in-law

In this over-zealous activity of tarnishing the social image of the Mother-In-Law; the society conveniently forgot their issues and contributions. The mothers-in-law in India face severe abuse and yet these women do not get social support they deserve in conditions like:

1. Severe physical and mental harassment at the hands of their daughters-in-law.
   1. Physical harassment can be in form of physical kicking or throwing objects or beating with a belt.
   2. Mental harassment includes taunts, comments and not allowing husband to have any relation with mother-in-law.
   3. Name calling and usage of vulgar language on her.
   4. Throwing her out of her own house and forcibly occupying the house.
   5. Daughter-in-law refusing to allow mother-in-law to meet or even speak to her son.
   6. Insults, abuses and threats by police to mothers-in-law.
   7. Kicking mother-in-law out of house feigning torture and maligning her reputation.
   8. Driving mothers-in-law to death.

Rather than the mother of the woman, it’s the mother-in-law who gives her son to her daughter-in-law and her property as well and at the end of the day, it is the mother-in-law facing the brunt of the fallacy. She is the one who is held responsible in case the marriage does not work and the blame is conveniently passed on to the mum-in-law.

National Family Health Survey’s third report (available at http://www.nfhsindia.org) has some interesting statistics to share. It was a survey done on 30000 women from different parts of India and social strata. It says that in the age range of 15-49, it is the mother of the woman who does more violence on her rather than her mother-in-law.

Typically in the age range of 15-49 the woman will mostly stay with her mother-in-law and at least away from her mother most of the time, even then the mother does more violence on the woman compared to the mother-in-law and yet it is the mother-in-law who is projected as a villain. One can only imagine the plight of those women who bear sons and get them married.

Today the young women have got a lot of privileges like more and more women attending schools and colleges, more women graduating with degrees and diplomas, and more women entering varied professions and earning their livelihood. Women are competing with men in academic, corporate, service, bureaucratic, political and other careers. Women now own property and wealth of their own. But at the same time, the price of this “Over-pamperment of young women” is being paid by old women who are continuously being neglected and harassed due to adverse attitude towards them. Today on the eve of International Women’s Day, AIMPF, on behalf of the old women urges the society and the Govt. to listen to their woes.

AIMPF had also sent an official letter containing request of appointment to the Women and Child Development Ministry. The ministry confirmed receiving the request by giving a call to the Coordinator of AIMPF in Bangalore, however, neither did he give the appointment nor called after that. When the Union Ministry of Women and Child Development – enacted to look into the problems faced by women, is not ready to listen to them, what more can be said about the plight of these old women who are now forced to come to streets and voice their concerns in their dusky days.

Demands of AIMPF

Today, on the International Women’s Day, by way of this protest, AIMPF also puts forth its demands to the Government:-

1. Stop stereotyping mothers-in-law.
2. A change of attitude in the judiciary, the National Commission for Women, etc. to accept complaints from Mothers-in-law with the same spirit with which they accept complaints from daughters-in-law.
3. Stop the de-facto defamation of mothers-in-law and give them their due rights of a dignified and peaceful old age.
4. Stop abuse of old women in by police and by judiciary.
5. Protect the rights and interest of the Mother-in-law especially when it comes to property matters. Property belonging to mother-in-law should not be given to daughter-in-law under any kind of force, coercion or unwillingness of the mother-in-law.
6. Immediately stop misuse of Section 498A, Domestic Violence Act and punish people who file false cases.
7. Make Section 498A bailable and non-cognizable.
8. Make the Domestic Violence Act Gender Neutral and allow women to be Respondents as well.
9. Stop granting luxurious maintenances and alimonies prima-facie to earning and capable women.

Allow grandparents to spend time with their grandchildren irrespective of spousal differences between the parents of the child.

Deepak, who stays on the third floor of the building, was on his way home when he saw the main door of his mother’s first-floor house ajar. However, The safety door was locked.

When nobody responded to his knocks, Deepak rushed to his home to get the duplicate keys. When he opened the door, he found his mother on the floor and his unconscious sister on the sofa.

Chandaben was taken to Breach Candy hospital with severe head injuries, but Ila was declared dead before admission.

On Monday, Chandaben regained consciousness. While being questioned by the police, she pointed towards Gomane, who had been working for Deepak for the past seven years.

A native of Ratnagiri, Gomane was arrested within 12 hours of the crime. During interrogation, he confessed to the murder. He told the police that that Rupal, 44, had given him a contract to kill her sister-in-law and mother-in-law.

“Seven moths ago, Gomane had taken a loan from Rupal of Rs 30,000 for his marriage. So far, he had repaid only Rs 7,000,” said Anil Kumbhare, deputy commissioner of police (zone II). “Rupal wanted to get her mother-in-law’s Peddar Road flat which is worth crores. She told Gomane that she would give him Rs 5,000 and would forget about the loan if he killed the two women.”

“Rupal had been planning to kill her mother-in-law and sister-in-law since the past two months. Six days ago she gave the contract to Gomane and paid him the money,” said Kumbhare.