»°¯´±¦;:Alan:;¦±´¯°«

New Year's Eve

2011-12-12T14:26:00.000+08:00

Faith. Hope. Love.

?

2011-10-13T22:46:00.002+08:00

Exactly when did I started doing things I don't want to do?

Caged

2011-10-13T00:13:00.002+08:00

Am I seeing cage linings around me?

Do I even have wings to start with?

A drifting bird I do not want to be.

Skies turning agreen.

Now that I see, I do not know how to act.

Courage I have not any left.

Birds of other feathers flock together.

There is nothing left for the drifter.

Someday, a dead bird.

Happy

2011-10-11T11:56:00.002+08:00

Dear Happy,

I miss you a lot.

Where have you been?

Have you decided to leave me forever?

Without you my life is without meaning.

A lost bird.

And I'm left to wonder if I'll ever see you again.

Happy, please enlighten me.

I need you.

Magic.

Love,
Alan

Thank You Jesus

2011-09-17T00:55:00.001+08:00

Thank You Jesus for a blessed day. I couldn't have asked for more.

Best Friend

2011-08-26T08:21:00.000+08:00

I can't help but to miss you this morning, my ex, best friend.

Dream

2011-08-08T22:35:00.001+08:00

I have a dream.

1111

2011-07-09T12:18:00.003+08:00

What a shock and what a surprise at the end. I have to say not a pleasant one.

It's always a hard goodbye, when it comes to you. I don't know if it's love or care but it's something.

And what's with the flavour twist at the end?

I don't know the future. I can't tell.

Why do you always make the wrong choices?

I really don't know if I should do more or anymore.

Jesus take the wheel.

Grateful

2011-07-03T21:00:00.001+08:00

Thank You Jesus for another amazing day.

The Sauna

2011-07-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

The sauna today is history.

I'm Sorry

2011-06-27T00:01:00.005+08:00

To all people that I'm truly sorry to; I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm not a better person to each and every one of you. I've always wanted to the best for everybody but I guess that's just not good enough, maybe not good at all. To trouble any of you is never anything I'd want to do.

After all, life is hard enough. Now that I'm a little older, I come to see the world in dark. Something the naive me a few years back were blinded to. I have to admit that I would now have to concur with what my friends had warned me about back then. I am now wrong.

It's just quite unfortunate that almost everybody has got to meet a bad person to teach you that fairy tales don't exist! There goes my dreams for a happy ever after.

I haven't got many friends. I've just got a few that I really care about. I'm sorry if you don't understand how the system in me works. But please do believe me; I cherish each and every of you in my life. I would never want to make life hard for my friends but it seems to be an inevitable. I take my words very seriously; I'm just trying to mend things up when I do appear like I've changed my mind.

I love you guys. But I cannot see the future and where it's headed to. I really do hope that I won't lose any of you guys; having lost two best friends in my life is painful enough.

Though life is not all that bad really. There's this little thing in me now that's feeling ever so grateful. I love You, Jesus. And thank You for loving me.

Love,
Alan

上一次流淚

2011-06-08T11:45:00.002+08:00

为一个不爱我的坏人, 我早得到教训.

Pathetic

2011-05-11T21:15:00.000+08:00

I am. Enough said.

?

2011-04-29T01:21:00.001+08:00

I really shouldn't miss you?

Random

2011-04-20T23:53:00.003+08:00

Antics.

Smart Fortwo.

Calvin Klein.

Paris.

Marriage.

Money.

Gadgets.

iPod.

Cover.

Player.

Apple.

Moments.

Memories.

Karma

2011-04-07T11:02:00.000+08:00

It's not even here yet!

B

2011-03-24T00:41:00.001+08:00

Goodbye B.

Dear Heart

2011-03-20T22:25:00.008+08:00

Dear Heart,

It's me again. I vaguely remembered what triggered the last letter. A profile picture in the wee hours of the morning. What a surprise to fill your missing pieces. What a way to cure an empty hurt. It took you to a state of berserk. Amazingly, you manage to thicken your skin once again very shortly in time. I respect you for what you will do for love. But how much can you lower yourself really? Don't you have a limit?

I know it's too late to apologize and so I will not. After all, I might need to write you more letters in the near future. I always give in the best hope, but what do I get in return? Nothing I deserve. Heart, I would like to take the opportunity to clarify that I might be emotional but I'm not emo. I drink, I bug, I have did more that I could and should. And in the end I always have tears rushing down my now aged face. Is enough ever going to be enough for you?

Anyway, I am still grateful for certain things that happened. I really wish that I could put that smile on your face. I long to have that thing that I deleted too. It was very beautiful but you leave me no choice. Painful. Pain felt like I got stabbed hard. I remember asking you for it. And then I braved myself to erase it. Why do I have to go through all this pain? But how do I fare when standing still is better than an attempt to pluck the stars in the skies. The new picture says it all. I'm trying hard to learn to be happy for you, it will to take time. I love you. I hope life treats you kind. And I hope you have all you've dreamed of. And I wish to you, joy and happiness. But above all this, I wish you love.

Not very comforting to know that my prayers might not coincide with the will of my Creator. Is this the answer to the question why?

Love,
Alan

Dear Heart

2011-03-12T01:49:00.003+08:00

Dear Heart,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't rational but I listened to you instead. I'm sorry for the pain that you always need to cope with, for only I know how fragile you really are. I'm sorry that till now I still want to believe in love and fairytales. I can't be sorry enough to you that I allowed you to buy a bunch of lies that nobody would fall for.

I want to remind you. That though you are not appreciated, you are not cheap. You are still pretty and tears doesn't have to always wash that pretty face of yours. I feel for you. You are worth so much more than that. You deserve the best of the best! Though, I am now confident that you have problems with your vision. Would you listen if I ask you not to be thick skinned anymore?

I certainly want to promise you a better future. But I'm at this crossroads and still contemplating which way to go. I know for a fact that it isn't really one and I've really only got one way to go. Perhaps it's time for the dreamer to finally wake up. You have got to help yourself in this one for God helps those who help themselves. I know you're strong to stand every time you fall. Nevertheless, I pray that you don't fall for it ever again.

Though luck is never on your side, I assure you that I know someday we'll be there!

Love,
Alan

Two

2011-03-06T00:06:00.000+08:00

Two movies. One person.

Lollychin

2011-03-04T11:26:00.002+08:00

I am sure that I'm one now. Sigh.

Black Swan

2011-03-02T12:12:00.003+08:00

If I'm the black swan. Why do I fucking care? Why do you insist that you're the white swan when it's clearly the opposite?

Lollychin

2011-02-27T19:38:00.004+08:00

I don't want to be a lollychin. You admitted that you're one yourself. I'm sure you just happen to be one yourself. I am confused. I don't know if I'm one. Don't know what the hell I'm doing or where headed too. Shoot. Somebody just shoot me so I'll die. I can't even write things on my Fb anymore. And in exchange of? Nothing and maybe some non appreciation. Thank you.

Thank you. I should know and I know that you are no good for me. You are not going to change. What inspirations from Katy Perry. Brilliant. Thank you girl for breaking the rules. Fhoot. Fhoot. Fhoot. I'm tired talking to you. I don't like it. If you don't mean something don't fay it. Credibility is near to never. And why is everybody like that?

My momma told me when I was young that we are to trust nobody. Not anybody at all. And I came to the next one, count on nobody but yourself. Sucks for it to be true. And for you that is so loud, with a whatever. The whole world would come to suck. And sucks to be me for I have a fragile. And who in the world can hear silence? Ironically yourself. I wonder if it's because you can't feel with a whatever. I have to come to this conclusion that good things don't come to good people.

Apoked

2011-02-23T22:13:00.001+08:00

I got a shock and I didn't know how to react to it.

The Big Two One

2011-02-09T00:29:00.008+08:00

Quickly sent a friend off so I could drive around alone. I knew it was coming, I was crying the very next second. I am more than ready to go. Nowhere. I wished myself happy birthday in the car, wondering if people would wish sad birthday.

Suddenly pain was coming from everywhere. I wish my mum would see me crying so I can tell her that I've not been happy my whole life or rather ever since her divorce with my dad. I don't have a family. Talked to my cat on the way up to my room. He doesn't understand me, nobody does.

Thank God and count my blessings. I really do. I am so thankful for all the angels around me. I don't know why but I'm sorry that somehow the heart feels really empty. Like a black hole. But don't even share things on facebook. It's not safe anymore.

Over two one years of my life, I have loved and been loved. It got me nowhere. I really like the idea of the single and loners club. Seriously, who's going to be there for you? The club member. The heart never fails to empty, lonely and cold at times. But heart, what do you really want?

Two one stays really close to my heart. Could this be the transition from boy to man? I say I don't want to play anymore. I am tired. I wish could live my life joyfully. Hello haters, do you know that I don't fancy being the serious matured weird person? I just haven't got the choice.

Now, how should I spend my two one?

Hope and pray for a miracle. Miracles are not practical though.

Happy birthday?

We'll see.

Love,
Alan