The Alchemy of Acting

How the Actor Commands Attention

Daniel Roach — Mon, 14 May 2007 10:03:33 +0000

It’s a common saying in theatre that the moving figure dominates, but that’s not the whole story. Actors are taught from the beginning of their careers that the audience pays more attention to the person moving than to the person talking. This is true to a point, but conventional wisdom is wrong again when taken as a generalization. The moving figure may dominate the stage, but it’s the motionless figure that captures the attention of the audience. In theatre as in life, we tend to pay more attention to people who are moving far less than those around us. We are drawn to people who seem calm and collected and we are wary of those who seem quietly dangerous. Our eyes may move to the man who is walking, but our attention always returns to the man who stands his ground.

Think back to when you were a child and you’d gotten caught doing something you shouldn’t have. Think back to all those times your parents yelled at you for something you’d done and all those times you ignored them simply because they were yelling. As kids we tended to tune our parents out best when they were at the height of their fury and were becoming apoplectic with rage. We listened them best however when they became very quiet and very calm. There was a certain kind of terror that went with the calm voice and the controlled, quiet brand of rage. We listened closely, we didn’t dare look away. An actor on the stage is the same as an enraged parent; the audience, their child.

The actor who gestures wildly and shouts when they’re angry quickly looses the attention of the audience. They may still watch her, they may still be halfway listening to her, but they aren’t truly paying any attention because they know what will happen next: she’s yelled before, she’s yelling now, it’s a good bet she’s going to continue yelling. The actor they watch will be the one who speaks very coldly when angry and moves very little. Her figure is like a mountain onstage, her anger radiating like invisible waves. She doesn’t shout, she doesn’t flail, she stands her ground and becomes a force of nature. The audience is on the edge of their seats watching, hanging on her every word because they have no idea what she might do. Her anger is an unpredictable volcano; could go off and destroy Pompeii, could cool down and spare us all.

Certain characters must flail and yell, but to do so all the time is a weak and easy choice. Some characters never flail and yell, but to do so all the time is a weak and easy choice as well. The actor gains respect onstage by choosing the most powerful moments to stand perfectly still, to speak slowly and clearly so that there is no chance of being misunderstood by anyone.

Movement asks for an audience’s respect and attention; having the courage to stand still and do nothing commands that attention.

5 Tips for Overcoming Exhaustion and Getting Back to Work

Daniel Roach — Tue, 08 May 2007 01:55:06 +0000

“The vision of a champion is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion, when nobody else is looking.”

–Mia Hamm

If there is one thing the audience never knows about actors, it’s how tiring our job truly is. People have literally laughed at me when I told them how tired I was after a show. “Why?!” they would ask, as if to say “You said a few words onstage and you’re tired? What a wuss.” In my last post I talked about how tired my current show was making me and how surprised I was by it. I’ve always found myself fairly exhausted after long rehearsals or performances, but this time was nothing compared to past experiences. In light of my increasing exhaustion I began thinking about all of the ways that I could overcome it, knowing always that I was going to have to get up the next day and do it all over again.

So for my first update since recovering from the first weekend performances of said tiring show I thought I’d dedicate an article to all the other tired actors and everyone else in the world with a taxing and exhausting job. For all those folks, I present 5 Tips for Overcoming Exhaustion and Getting Back to Work.

Drink Water – is rule number one. The biggest part of your exhaustion probably has to do with being dehydrated and there’s only one way to fix that. Drink as much water as you can get your hands on before and after you find yourself sweating under the stage lights. Being that your body is made up of somewhere between 70-80% water, including your brain, you might want to start refueling it as often as possible.
Drink Gatorade Everyday – is an addendum to rule number one. Drinking water is great for overcoming exhaustion and replenishing the water that your body loses through perspiration, breathing and just generally being alive; too much water, however, can actually cause your exhaustion. I discovered this rule just recently and it helps immensely. Too much water can begin flushing nutrients out of your body and cause fatigue. Gatorade is designed to do the exact opposite by putting these nutrients back into your body. Drink a bottle a day if your find yourself working hard, otherwise it’s not necessary as too much Gatorade contains more sodium than the average person needs everyday.
Vitamin C Yourself – Vitamin C supplements are a god-send, I kid you not. Those little pills have saved me from the Flu in record time and kept it at bay more than once. When you’re working yourself harder than normal, say during the week before a show opening, make sure you have Vitamin C handy and plenty of it. Being tired lowers your defenses to illness and you getting sick means the rest of the cast could get sick as well. Dope yourself up good with Vitamin C and plenty of water and that cold won’t be able to touch you.
Sleep as Much as Possible – this one is really a “Duh!” kind of rule but it’s worth mentioning. So many times people overwork themselves, only to go home and get the same amount of sleep they would normally get on any other night. Sometimes it just can’t be helped, but whenever possible you should get more sleep than you think you need if you’ve been working harder than normal. If you can swing it, sleep for twelve hours. That’s more sleep than you should normally get, but recovery is the name of the game when exhaustion sets in. Sleep more than normal when you work more than normal.
Don’t Push It – If you don’t feel like you can tackle anything else today but your performance, then don’t. Sometimes we can’t avoid other commitments and tasks, but when they can be dodged, dodge them quickly. This is the whole reason I refrained from updating during the last week. I knew that I was just too exhausted to give it my best shot. I made a few vain attempts at articles, but they turned out to be very rambling and vague. Finally I gave up and said that if I couldn’t give it my best I would just have to not give it and wait anxiously for the day when I was coherent enough for a comeback.

So there you have it. I know that most of these sound pretty obvious, but you might be surprised at how easily we forget them when we find ourselves in these situations. We push ourselves so far that we finally crash and that’s never a good thing. Take care of yourself and know when to stop running; know when to sit back and do nothing or when to sleep past your alarm. Recovery is the name of the game and you’ve got to learn to keep yourself in tip-top shape because a broken actor is no good to anyone

Now go out and Sin Boldly! . . . just be sure to take a nap afterwards.

Should You Have Kept Your Mouth Shut?

Daniel Roach — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 06:57:45 +0000

”If you wouldn’t write it and sign it, don’t say it.”

–Earl Wilson

As an actor I have a hard and fast rule that I live by when it comes to other cast members: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. I never give false compliments, I see no need for them, but neither do I criticize. Too many times we find ourselves in situations in which we are less than pleased with one person or another for one reason or another, and in those moments we are faced with a difficult decision; we could speak our minds or clam up tight. Certainly we’d feel better at the time if we just opened our mouths and let fly our displeasure, but later we may regret it for any number of reasons. So stick with the rule your mother taught you, speak kindly or speak not at all.

I have never seen the need for false compliments. I do not want them, and I do not give them. If someone has not done well, why tell them they have? We could lie to avoid hurting their feelings, but in these situations I usually just choose to find something nice to say that will act as padding while I tell them what I really think. It’s the candy-coated medicine theory, wrap your criticism in genuine compliments and they tend to go down better. The key here is that my “something nice to say” must be genuine or else there’s no point in it. But let’s be honest, compliments are usually not our problems when dealing with other cast members, our problems lie in our criticisms.

Most of the time, our mouths get us into trouble when we begin to criticize others. For whatever reason, someone in the cast has gotten on your nerves. They’ve annoyed you a few times before but you bit your tongue and decided to overlook it; no reason to start trouble, right? But now they’ve really done it, now they’ve really stepped over the line, what should you do? Should you say something? Well, it depends on the situation, but I’ll tell you what you shouldn’t do: don’t complain to another cast member. If your problem warrants talking to the problematic cast member in question, do that. If your problem warrants talking to the director or stage manager, do that. But don’t, I repeat, don’t talk to another cast member about it.

Actors are the biggest gossips in the world. We talk. A lot. With that in mind, always remember that anything you say in front of one cast mate will eventually be repeated to another cast mate. Thus never complain to anyone who has anything to do with your cast. Go home and throw a tantrum in front of your significant other, but wait till you get home. Most actors already know this, whether you’ve learned it from a teacher or through bitter experience. What most actors don’t realize, however, is that complaining about cast members can also become a crutch for their own laziness.

You go through your scene and it just doesn’t feel right. Something is off, every time you try it. You can’t put your finger on it, but there is just something wrong with your performance. Eventually you may decide that it’s something out of your control so you go to the director for help in fixing the problem. You tell him your problem: the other cast members aren’t picking up their cues, or they aren’t standing in the right places, or hitting their marks on time. Whatever the reason, you decide that this is what is wrong with the scene and implore him to make changes. While you may in fact be correct with all of your criticism, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve made yourself look like a complete ass by making it seem as if you’re the only thing holding this scene together and the others are holding you back. You wouldn’t look a director in the eye and say that in those words, so why say it in any others?

It seems like such a valid reason at the time, but if you really stop and think about it you’ll realize that this is nothing more than an excuse. Never tell anyone that your difficulty lies with the performances of others because the truth is that it doesn’t. When asked about problematic scenes, say only that you will continue to work on it and that you welcome suggestions. Your problems do not lie with others and, if a few late cues throw your performance off, you haven’t prepared enough.

Remember that your preparation is not dictated by anyone else and neither is the finished product. If you can take credit for your success, you must be able to take credit as well for your failure. So ask yourself now if you do any of these. If you do you’d best start curbing these habits now. I know better than anyone how nice it is sometimes to just have a good bitch session. I absolutely love getting together with people who share my pain and letting fly every nasty thing I can think of about a given problem. When I’m upset, these sessions make me feel better because I can get my problems off my chest and put them behind me. I’m the last person to suggest that you should stop complaining, I’ll only say that you should rethink when, where, and why you do it.

Overcoming Stage Fright - the Christine Kane Way

Daniel Roach — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 08:35:59 +0000

I’ll be perfectly honest with you; I’ve been dying for Christine Kane to write a blog post that could even remotely pertain to acting just so I had a viable reason to talk about her. Here it is, my chance has finally come!

I stumbled across singer/songwriter Christine Kane’s website about two weeks ago and was instantly hooked on her blog. She writes wonderful articles about creativity, personal development and what it is to be an artist, no matter what your art form. H’m, bettering art through bettering the artist . . . where have I heard that before? Anyway, as I devoured her articles, I found myself wondering what her music was like so it was off to iTunes I went. I downloaded Rain & Mud & Wild & Green, promptly got hooked on it and hooked my girlfriend Amanda as well (we especially enjoy the track [No Such Thing As] Girls Like That) .

Now I’m a Dar Williams fan, a Sheryl Crow fan and a Zig Ziglar fan and if Dar Williams, Sheryl Crow and Zig Ziglar all collided, they’d create Christine Kane . . . that sounded more appealing in my head, but trust me it’s a great combination. Anyway, I could rave about her website and her music all day, but I should probably talk about the something that’s remotely pertaining to acting.

In her update yesterday, Christine detailed 9 methods for overcoming stage fright, speaking from the point of view of a singer. I’m here to tell you that there is only one method on this list that doesn’t apply to being an actor and that’s Number Five: Get in the Audience. Other than that they are great methods for anyone who is planning on getting in front of large groups of people any time soon.

If you couldn’t tell by now, Christine Kane is quickly becoming a hero of mine and I can’t recommend her writings or her singing enough. If you get a chance, go check out her entire blog, paying special attention to those nine stage fright tips. And if you’re ever in the mood for the folksie/rockin’/incredibly well written music I suggest you run out and pick up one of Christine’s CDs or her new DVD which she is selling on her site and which will soon be finding its way into my collection.

Go check her out, if you’re a fan of the Alchemist you’ll soon become an even bigger fan of Christine Kane.

You Can’t Be an Actor and a Gentleman.

Daniel Roach — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 08:04:10 +0000

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.”

–Sally Field

You may recall a while back when I wrote about my “Crisis of Confidence” as I’ve referred to it in Great Acting: Catching Lightning in a Bottle and The Actor Who Succeeded by Failure. It been a strange mode I’ve existed in as an actor for the last two months or so. I find myself not being happy with my work and not really understanding why. I know the cause is my lack of boldness, my lack of courage, but these are recently acquired shortages and I’m not sure what brought them on. Well, today the spell might’ve been broken . . . and it turns out I knew the answer all along.

I’ve said in the past that you cannot be a gentleman and an actor at the same time. I can’t remember when exactly I said that, but I think it was in Podcast number two. It was a lesson I learned a few years back that I resisted with all my might at the time. I liked being a gentleman. I’m a very amiable guy and I like doing nice things and being genuinely kind to people. I heard that I couldn’t be a gentleman and an actor and balked. “No!” I said. “Sure you can. You’re not just one or the other!” With every fiber of my being I strained against the idea. It just wasn’t right, it wasn’t true. It took me a little while to figure out that it was true. You can be one or the other, but never both at once.

I’m sure there are some readers out there who are balking the same way I did, but let me explain. Onstage, we are required to do things that we don’t necessarily want to do in our day to day lives. If you’ve playing Oedipus, you’ve got to “experience” some things that I hope you don’t experience in your everyday world. If you’re playing Eben Cabot you’ve got to go through some events that are so strange and tragic that sometimes we, as actors, don’t even want to attempt to comprehend them. It’s this distinction between onstage and offstage that also distinguishes the gentleman from the actor.

When you leave rehearsal for the night and head home, feel free to be as kind and thoughtful as you wish to be; be as gentlemanly as you can muster. When you’re onstage that default of courtesy must take a backseat to the adaptability of the moment. Playing Jessie Cates means that you have to explore the motives and meanings behind her ultimate suicide. Playing Oleanna’s Carol means that you have to come to grips with sexual harassment and ruining another person’s life. We’re actors and often times we’re called on to do and think dark and uncomfortable things and confusing ourselves with our characters can cause an emotional bifurcation of sorts.

Offstage we can be gentlemen and ladies, but onstage we must be whatever we are told to be. We must be adaptable to the life of the fictional circumstances that are given to us.

It’s this fact that has gone a long way in ridding me of my new-found timidity. During rehearsal just today the director pulled me aside. “I’m going to take you to task a little bit,” Thomas said. “And I’m going to do it in your own words. You want to be a gentleman in this scene and you can’t be.”

And there it was. My own words coming back to remind me of what I already knew, but had somehow forgotten

And suddenly I realized that he was right. I had let my desire to ruffle no feathers get in the way of my ruffling some feathers. I felt a little lighter as the rehearsal picked back up and suddenly everything started working better than it had been. It wasn’t perfect, it was just better. This may be just the first step in my ridding me of this “Crisis of Confidence” but it has taught me two valuable lessons: 1. The answers I need are the lessons that I have simply forgotten; I know them, now I just have to remember them. 2. You really can’t be an actor and a gentleman.

Growing & Efforting Part 4: How to Ally with Your Fears

Daniel Roach — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 06:31:01 +0000

“We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together and if we are to live together we have to talk.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

There are only two prevailing reasons for why anyone does anything: to avoid pain or gain pleasure. Either we seek out good experiences, or run from the bad ones. It’s this very hunter-gatherer type of mentality that can create stagnation within us. We’ve all had times in our lives where we have found ourselves trapped in stagnant circumstances and yet still happy. There is something new we want for ourselves; some pleasure that we fantasize about day and night. We dream of the day we will accomplish this goal, we may even plot a few of the steps out in our heads, but in the end it never happens. One day we look around to find that we’ve never even taken the first step toward what we wanted, but it doesn’t seem to matter too much, we say to ourselves. We’ll do it later, or maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. We know that this kind of stagnation happens, sometimes quite often, but what causes it and how can we counter act it?

Surprisingly the cause of this paralysis is exactly what could propel us out of it; our dreams. Our imaginations and our dreams are what tend to keep us in this prison of inactivity. If we didn’t spend so much time daydreaming about what we wanted to accomplish, we’d have accomplished it by now. The problem isn’t the time spent dreaming and scheming, it’s the fact that we’re too damn good at it. If our dreams weren’t so picture-perfect, we’d be more inclined to work for them.

I know, it sounds counterintuitive, but that’s only because it is.

Don’t Be Willy Loman

You see, the biggest reason that our dreams never make it from our head to reality is because we’re convinced that the reality could never be as good. Deep down inside, we feel as if the reality will only disappoint us and we’d rather spare ourselves the disappointment and just keep our perfect dreams. We like the dream more than we like the actual goal.

I’m a firm believer that we will always achieve what we truly desire and this is one more bit of proof of that. We’ve all heard stories of those people who held a desire inside themselves that was so strong they couldn’t leave it in their fantasies. The dreams were so powerful they just had to come out. That’s a sign of strong desire. The idle dreams that never manifest themselves are a sure sign that what you truly desired what the dream itself, not the subject of the dream.

So now, take a minute to think about all those dreams you have that just don’t seem to be coming to you the way you hoped they would and ask yourself what it is you truly want from them. Do you want the subject of your dream; do you want to achieve that goal? Or do you only want the fantasy? There’s nothing wrong with choosing the fantasy, it’s simply a choice you have to make. If you do discover that you only wanted the fantasy, that’s fine, now you don’t have to feel bad about never achieving that goal; it wasn’t something you really wanted in the first place. And you don’t have to give up the fantasy after this either; keep it, it’s comforting. Now you can start focusing more of your time on the goals that you really and truly want.

When I was younger, I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be the movie star on the red carpet going to my big premiere. I would arrive in a limo, looking immaculate. I would dine at the finest places and live in the largest house, taking my bows to the largest ovations. It would be wonderful. It didn’t take more than about a year of being an actor before I realized that that wasn’t really what I wanted. I don’t want to be famous at all. I wouldn’t mind being well known, or even have some fans, but massive fame isn’t something I desire in the slightest. I realized that I enjoyed fantasizing, but that fame wasn’t the reason I wanted to act, and I did still want to act. My passion for my craft has never waned, but I had to realize that what I really wanted was to be a working stage actor. That’s it. I just want to make a living being an actor on stage . . . with maybe a few fans to greet me at the stage door

There’s no shame in admitting your fantasies are just that. We all have them; we all like to dwell in them from time to time, but don’t let them rule you. Getting too caught up in your dreams can distract you from the goals that you truly did want to achieve. One day you wake up to discover that you whittled all your time and energy into a dream that you had no intention of achieving and all the other dreams have passed you by. Face it, every actor wants to play Willy Loman, but no one wants to be Willy Loman.

Don’t Be Cowed by Fear

So how do we get out of this inactive limbo? We’ve already covered the first step which is to choose what you really want to accomplish. Going after a goal half-heartedly is going to yield a half-hearted result. Garbage in—garbage out. Once you’ve discovered which goals you are truly passionate about, you’re ready to move into action mode.

Action mode is when you become confident enough in your knowledge to take the first steps toward success. People tend to stay out of action mode most of the time because of fear. In the last article, Propensity for Fear, I talked about fears and all of the things they can do to sabotage us. Fears of failure or fears of success are the main reasons people don’t go for their dreams with gusto. Sometimes we feel that we do not know enough to begin and we must wait until we do, which is fine unless you’re using it as an excuse never to start at all.

Lack of knowledge has always been my favorite excuse. I just love to say, “But I don’t know how to do that . . . (sniffle)” It wasn’t until I realized that it was just a big fat excuse for me to be lazy that I knew I had to change and just start learning as I went along. No one ever learns anything without trying it. I’ll bet you don’t remember one thing from your school days unless you still use it actively to this day. We learn best when we can make mistakes and figure out exactly what not to do for ourselves. Precursory knowledge is great, but don’t let it bog you down. Now, on the flipside, I’ve used this technique to my advantage before, taking time to learn enough to get me going. The technique itself isn’t flawed; it’s how you use it. Just make sure that your search for knowledge isn’t just a safety blanket.

This brings me to the biggest step of all: START. Your first steps don’t have to be life changing they just have to be taken. Don’t wait for that perfect moment, it will never come. Don’t wait for that magical piece of information, or that one perfect book to come along and present you with the answers you need; they won’t come. I’ve spent my life doing that, as well, and I can tell you from experience: you may as well just begin, because that missing key you’re waiting for doesn’t exist. Start moving forward, even if it isn’t entirely clear where you’re heading at first. Just move, start gaining momentum, even if you have to change directions later. Building momentum is the hard part. Achieve that and your other goals will fall quickly in line.

The key to all of this is something that I touched on in the last installment of this series, which is that we cannot rid ourselves of our fears. That’s not only impossible, but foolish. We need these fears, they are voices of reason to our adrenaline fueled, desire hungry brains. But just because they sometimes make good points doesn’t mean that you have to listen to them. Think of your fears as counselors, or advisors; they tell you all the angles from which you could encounter failure. Take their advice, watch out for what they warn you of, and make your own decisions. There’s nothing wrong with deciding that your fears are correct and that you shouldn’t continue forward with your goal. Just make sure that your decisions are conscious ones. Don’t get cowed by the voices in your head.

Face your fears and accept that they are valid. Accept that they are trying to help you, not hurt you. Accept that they may be right from time to time, but most importantly, accept that you have control over them. Your fears are in your mind and you control your mind absolutely. It may be difficult to break out of fear-based lethargy but just stick to small steps. Think of building that momentum and creating new and better habits. Soon, when your momentum is great enough, you won’t even have to give a second thought to your fears; you’ll have cowed them.

Remember that if what you want is worth having, then it’s worth working for. If, on the other hand, it’s only worth dreaming about, then don’t waste your energy or your time. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that your desires have changed. There is something terribly wrong with letting your desires fall behind your dreams.

Growing & Efforting Part 3: Propensity for Fear

Daniel Roach — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 09:28:31 +0000

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.”

–Fulton Oursler

Fear is a funny thing when you come right down to it. It can save our lives or it can ruin them forever. Fear can cause a wondrous change, or keep us in ugly stagnation. Fear is a kind of power and you either wield that power, or are subjected to it. Fear will make you bow before it, or open up opportunities you never thought possible. When it comes down it, which road will you choose? Will you grow comfortable with the fear and learn to stay just within its boundaries or will you channel that fear to accomplish your dreams? The answer isn’t as simple as you think. Sometimes this fear is necessary, even beautifully comforting.

Our fears sometimes keep in the safety that we need to stay alive. The fear that says I’m afraid of jumping off that roof, is fear that ought to be listened to. That fear that says I’m afraid that car may hit me, should also be listened to. This fear isn’t detrimental, on the contrary it’s helpful; it’s the little voice in your head that’s steering you clear of all the things that might hurt you physically. That physical fear is a wonderful survival tool, grounding us to our values of life. This fear is comforting, safe.

Fear gets you into trouble when you begin to give into fears of emotions and ego. As opposed to the fear of physical harm, which is designed to keep you alive and in one piece, the fear of emotional and egotistical harm is the fear of hurting your pride, or breaking your heart. So often we find ourselves thinking She’ll never like me, or What if this idea doesn’t work? These thought are emotional and egotistical fears. These fears don’t keep us alive; they keep us stagnant and usually unhappy. Fear of ego and emotion says that our hearts might suffer and what we want just isn’t worth what might happen.

As humans we hate to have our hearts suffer because the damage seems so much more permanent. A broken leg can heal as good as new; it may be clumsy to use for a while, but soon it will be back the way it was. A broken heart is never quite the same somehow. It’s as if we can put the pieces back together, but we’re always afraid that the cracks will show. Whether it’s fear of romantic heartbreak or ambitious heartbreak, a heart with cracks is never quite as strong the second time around.

But what makes this fear so detrimental?

In part two of this series I talked about my experience with fear of the emotional:

I was afraid that if I failed, people might laugh at me and I would never find support for my endeavors again. I was afraid that even trying what I wanted might be too much because perhaps there was something I didn’t understand, or perhaps it wouldn’t turn out the way I expected. I worried that maybe dreaming of perfect goals would be better than actually achieving them. What if they weren’t as good as I thought they might be? I’d have wasted all that time on nothing. I was afraid that if I succeeded my life would change too drastically. I liked the life I had and changing me might mean permanently shifting my life in ways that may prove uncomfortable. Even in success I felt I couldn’t win.

Once this propensity for fear was faced and accepted, I realized that my life onstage had benefited as much as my life offstage.

This says everything about why the egotistical fears are harmful; they are fears of future pains. Physical fear is a fear of something that could or is happening right now. Emotional fear is fear of something that may or may not happen at some point down the road. You see, I was afraid that my dreams might not end up being as good as I had hoped they would be. I was afraid that I might fail. I wasn’t afraid of realities, I was afraid of fantasies. These fantasies were destroying my future. If I didn’t take steps toward my goals I would never feel truly fulfilled; if I did take steps toward my goals I would be terrified at something that might occur. I was in emotional limbo. Risks were what I needed, but they were the things I couldn’t take.

I’m not alone either, many people feel this way. You might feel this way, too. There’s some change you want to make in your life, or some new project you want to start, some risk you want to take. The idea of this change, or project, or risk is intoxicating to fantasize about and one day you’ll get started on it . . . when the time is right . . . But somehow the right time never comes and one day you realize that you’re no closer to what you want. You may even become self-aware enough to realize that it isn’t the outcome you want, it’s the dream of the outcome itself; the fantasy.

If this is the way find your life heading, what can you do about it? How did I get over it? How did I overcome my fear, you ask? How did I do away with my fears and become a constant forward thinker, fearless and self-motivated? The answer is, I didn’t. Not like that.

Look at what I said in the quote above. I said my propensity for fear was “faced and accepted” not overcome or done-away-with. I didn’t say that I had thrown them all over my shoulder and never looked back again. I didn’t loose them to become fearless and self-motivated. I still have them; the difference is that I do not let them have the final say when I make decisions now. I view these fears as advisors to me; they give me dissenting opinions. I give them my ear for a time and I weigh what they tell me, but in the end I make my decisions based on what I truly want, not what I’m afraid may come to pass.

Fears are not things to be overcome or done away with. You should never be without them. Your fears are like the voices of reason telling you all of the possible outcomes of your endeavors. The trick comes in that you cannot let them make the decisions. Your fears can give you advice, but they should never be allowed to make your decisions.

Most importantly, fears are nothing to be ashamed of. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid to fail. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid to succeed. These are natural reactions that everyone has to deal with, so you’re never alone. The first step to ridding yourself of your propensity for fear is to accept that it exists and seek not to alter it. Just because you have these fears doesn’t mean they will affect you in anyway.

I’ll go into more in-depth ways of working with your fears in the next update. I really hadn’t expected this to become a true series of articles, but the email responses I’ve gotten from these have been surprising. So look out for the next update where we’ll discuss how to not be ruled by your fears, but to work with them. Remember until then that they are a part of you and always will be and to loose a part of yourself would be a great pity.