In one of my favorite fantasy books, Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede, the main character Cimorene finds herself about to be married off to a Prince she can’t stand. Eventually she finds herself in a conversation with a talking frog who asks her what she is going to do about the situation.

Cimorene tells him about all the people she’s talked to and complained to. He replies with: “I didn’t ask you what you’d said about it. I asked what you’re going to do. Nine times out of ten, talking is a way of avoiding doing things.”

Guilty! I have such a vivid imagination, that if I start talking about my goals or dreams, I don’t actually need to complete them. In my mind, I reach the end of the journey, celebrate the success, collect the accolades and revel in the money I’ve raked in.

All without having to lift a finger.

I connect with the future on a highly emotional level and feel all the positive emotions associated with success. And I’m done. I don’t need to do actually go through the effort of getting there – that’s just too much work.

Visualizing Action, Not Outcome

A lot of self-development people say that you need to fully visualize your outcome if you want to reach it. Talking to others about it makes it real and makes you accountable. However in his excellent book 59 Seconds, Richard Wiseman looks at studies which prove that visualizing your future too well actually hinders the likelihood of you completing it.

Instead of visualizing the outcome, Wiseman reports, you’ll have more success with your goals if you visualize yourself taking action that leads you toward your goal.

Let’s look at an example. I’m currently working on the draft of a novel. To motivate myself say I try picturing the novel finished and on bookshelves in stores with my name at the top of the bestseller list.

Will that honestly motivate me? No, because there’s no imagery of the work it will take me to get there. In fact there’s a good chance the image will demotivate me and lead to working less instead of more.

Why? Because the gap between where I am (blank page) and where I want to be (bestselling novel) is too big. I can’t see how to get from here to there and so don’t even get started.

However, if I picture myself sitting with my laptop writing each day, celebrating the progress I make then I’m likely to follow through on the vision because it’s only a small step from here to there. I don’t need think about the end result, only the next step in the process.

Action Provides Its Own Rewards

Many people talk rather than act as a way to gain validation from others without actually making progress or changing their lives. These are the people who take endless personal development courses and read every personal development book and blog out there, talking to everyone and anyone about what they’re learning.

And it feels great. They know what their dreams are. They can talk until their jaw falls off about what they want to achieve someday and everyone around them pats them on the back and says “good for you!”

By talking so much, however, these people don’t act. They’re content with the preparation but never start the journey.

These people are addicted to validation and have found an easy way to get it. All their talk makes it seem to the outside world that they’re taking action, but in the end they have nothing to show for it.

When people take action to make internal changes there is often no immediate payoff, no pats on the back for the small steps we take. Lasting change takes a long time and is hard work. Talking is fast and easy.

If you’re like this at all, stop talking. Set yourself a goal – some small habit that you want to change – and take the first step towards achieving it. Give yourself a pat on the back for doing so then move onto the next step.

And this way you’ll learn that action provides its own rewards, its own validation because as you move towards your goal you will see your progress and feel validation coming from within.

At this point, once you are over the validation addiction, go find yourself a forum or group of some sort. Talk to the people in this forum or group about your actions and your progress as a sort of accountability tracking rather than for validation. When you use talking for accountability you lean on the support of others (and provide support to them in turn) to help you take action, and not to boost a failing ego.

Over on Someday Syndrome, I offer a free Accountability Clinic that mixes weekly email reminders with a forum for reporting in on goals, action and obstacles. For my writing goals, I also belong to Forward Motion Writers to keep myself accountable fiction-wise.

Remember, someday never becomes today no matter how much you talk about it. So, if you were Cimorene, what would your answer to the frog be? What action will you take to achieve your dreams?

Alex Fayle is a professional nagger – his most hated word is “someday” and has devoted his life to helping others get rid of it from their vocabularies. Through his site Someday Syndrome (http://www.somedaysyndrome.com), Alex works as a lifestyle designer to help people make big changes in their lives and stop the procrastination habit.

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My favorite class in school right now is Dentist-Patient-Relationship. Here we learn about the interactions we will encounter, and the kind of mental maneuvering we have to do in order to deliver optimal treatment and prevent the patient from standing in the way of their oral health.

One way to do this is the concept of interpersonal contracts, of which I won’t get into too specific details right now. They’re basically an understanding between the doctor and patient that both parties are working to meet each others expectations.

In one of our recent classes, Dr. Hittelman the Psychologist who teaches this course, made an interesting distinction about what self-esteem is. We already know it’s not just the ‘I feel good about myself’ emotion. Rather it’s a feeling that you are a valuable human being by possessing a quality that makes you such. This could be for a number of reasons, including but not exclusive to, having a skill, talent, job, relationship, helping people, being attractive, etc.

I think Dr. Hittelman put it best though when he said that self-esteem is the answer to the question ‘why are you worth feeding?’ Sitting down with a blank text file, heading the paper ‘why am I worth feeding?’, and unleashing your mind to write freely might create a new awareness for you.

Although this wasn’t an exercise recommended by Dr. Hittelman, and I can’t say it’s a valid Psychological exercise, I do think that there are a couple of valuable things that will come out of such an exercise for you.

1. You’ll realize why you’re already worth feeding. You might become aware of something that is valuable about you, which you might have overlooked before. You’ll be able to then focus in on this worth, do more of it, and use it to raise your self-esteem. Being proud of yourself, for one reason or another, will color your days a different color as you move forward through life. By doing this exercise, you’re allowing yourself to choose the colors.

2. You’ll realize why you think you’re not worth feeding. Whether or not this it will come down to your personal opinion is arbitrary, but perhaps you really aren’t being a very valuable person at the moment. By doing this exercise, and self-actualizing about where you think you are lacking in this department, I believe you could create positive forward-bound momentum in your life. If you’re already at rock bottom, that means you have the whole world to expand and improve into.

Regardless of where you stand, there is always room for improvement. You can make a list of things you’d like to improve upon in yourself, and slowly but surely take action towards being a valuable person.

Here’s your chance. In the comments below, answer the question, ‘why are you worth feeding?’ – Don’t think of it as bragging, you have full rights here to say what you think. You could do just one, or list several, it’s up to you.

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Being busy is considered the opposite of laziness. It’s not. Laziness is likened to sloth-like activity, performing tasks slowly and begrudgingly. And that’s no different from busy work which fills most our lives. We do things because we’re too lazy not to do them.

Never ending busyness means you are too lazy to:

1. Set priorities. When you really know what needs to get done you do it much faster than when you’re mind is scattered and unfocused. Get out a piece of paper and answer this question “What is the #1 task I should get done today?” Write that down and get to work.
2. Become effective. Effectiveness is getting important stuff done. I recommend Peter Drucker’s “The Effective Executive” for great practical tips on being effective but you basically need to identify what’s important, set strict deadlines (I’m a fan of e.ggtimer.com personally) and use clearly defined metrics as accountability tools.
3. Make touch choices. Saying “Yes” has its advantages in life, but saying “No” is a key aspect in killing busy work. There are always a billion opportunities out there that may tempting to follow up on. Learn to persist with what you’re already doing and turn down everything else. If an opportunity has any staying power it’ll still be available in the future.
4. Fill your time with fulfilling activities. Fulfilling activities take time, energy and focus, but by their very nature make life worth living. Busy work protects us from making an effort to experience life. Don’t let it.
5. Be idle. Idleness is hard. And I’m not talking about the idleness of sitting on the couch watching TV. Try just sitting and thinking for 30-60 minutes at a time. You’ll most likely fidget, suddenly have the urge to check your email inbox or soon become bored of your own thoughts. That’s a weakness. Practice listening to your own thoughts and enjoying your own company.
6. Consider your direction. Where are you going? Whenever you’re working on something think about whether or not the outcome will matter in the overall scheme of things. Is it part of the bigger picture?
7. Question yourself. Always be questioning yourself – your motivations, intentions, desires, actions and thoughts. Don’t do things or behave a certain way because it’s the way things have been done in the past. Challenge conventions.
8. Setup systems. Systems aren’t exactly dull but they help streamline repetitive processes. Instead of doing the same task 100 times in 100 different ways attempt it 2-3 times with different methods. Which is the most efficient? Stick with that. The added benefit is that this will allow you to…
9. Automate or outsource repetitive (but necessary) tasks. After eliminating the unnecessary there may be tasks that you still have to do that you find dull and repetitive. Either find software to automate the process, use a program such as Automator to create macros or outsource the work using a site such as eLance or AskSunday for personal tasks.
10. Disconnect. I know how difficult it is to disconnect. The internet is addictive, a wonderland of distraction and false importance. Pull out the ethernet cable or disable wireless and get off the computer. Work creates itself if you let it.
11. Improve yourself. You’re not perfect and you never will be. But that doesn’t matter! What does matter is putting zero effort into becoming a better you because you’re apparently swamped with so-called “urgent” tasks. Continue learning and evolving.
12. Appreciate what you have. We work more because we believe we’ll get more in return. And to an extent that is true. But the problem is, where does “more” end? Just stop and realise what you have. Don’t work out of attachment to acquisition.
13. Enjoy what you have. It’s not just a matter of appreciating it. Buy a new fancy tennis racquet recently? Go play some tennis. Traveled into the future and bought a copy of Modern Warfare 2? Pop that bad boy into your 360 and rack up some achievements. You have more than you probably even realise. Enjoy it.
14. Make precautions. Fear keeps us busy. Fear of losing what we have. Fear of not reaching our goals. Fear of failure. Ask yourself “how can I prepare for the worst case scenario?” And then do that.
15. Track yourself. Install RescueTime on your computer and begin to see how you’re actually spending your time. It was quite a shock for myself to see hours and hours wasted on irrelevant web browsing in a single day.
16. Set expectations. Do you interact with customers or an audience of any sort? The happiness of others is important but don’t let their inefficiencies hurt your lifestyle. It’s lazy (and unsustainable) to reply to everyone and everything instantly. Set reasonable expectations before issues crop up.
17. Solve problems. Busyness lets us procrastinate, avoiding genuine problems that need solving. Learn how to solve problems.

David Turnbull is a writer who writes about peace of mind, simplicity and geekery at his blog, Adventures of a Barefoot Geek.

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At first, while studying for the Dental Tooth-Anatomy Midterm, I was trying to figure out what questions the teacher was most likely to ask. With this outlook, I was looking through the material that was presented, and trying to rank it in order of importance.

I happened to be in the library, and as I walked by two of my classmates, Alicia Jackson and Sergey Gazarov, I saw them working on some very obscure eruption patterns of the teeth — purely numbers. I asked them if they thought these questions would even come up on our midterm. “If they do, we’ll be ready for them,” they said.

So instead of assigning these obscure facts as unimportant and moving on to the materials we were guaranteed to be tested on, these particular students took the time to perfectly commit this to memory. Having some inside knowledge into the fact that they were both top students, I decided to take on their philosophy about studying.

It became a game as I created an absolutely unique way to remember these eruption patterns by folding all 10 of my fingers in a way I cannot even describe with words. It only took a few minutes to master, and then I went on to teach the technique to several other classmates in the library — I was too excited not to.

I systematically studied, rehearsed, and committed to memory absolutely anything that was presented about the topic at hand. I then looked at previous Board Examination questions for everything I could find from 2009 to 1998, which was hundreds of questions, very similar to what was going to be on the test.

By this point I was very confident. Sergey was also very much on point, so we sat together until almost 4 in the morning bouncing questions back and forth. He would quiz me, I would quiz him, and anything that was even slightly ambiguous would be combated by a witty mnemonic, or a more thorough understanding of why something was possible.

Going into the test at 8 in the morning I felt like I was bringing a machine gun to a fist fight. I had all the information locked up in my head and was radiating with confidence that any variation of anything that could possibly be asked was easily accessible to me.

The studying was purely overkill. However, if I kept telling myself that I want to learn enough to answer the questions, I would have been at a huge disadvantage. This could certainly be applied to anything that you do in life, anything that needs preparation, and anything that deserves to be done with love and diligence.

It should also be noted that students that spend time together develop similar GPAs. Likely due to the way they manage their studying, which stems from their philosophy. Philosophy most definitely rubs off on people, so whatever it is you’re going after in life, see if you can hang with the people that have the overkill philosophy.

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Productivity is a hot topic in personal growth literature. But with all the resources and tips out there, we don’t seem to be getting more productive. In fact, we’re spending too much time trying to digest productivity resources that we could’ve spent actually being productive!

The productivity tips we read can have short-term effects, but we tend to return to our old, unproductive routines. This leads us to consider the following conclusions:

1. There’s something wrong with us: We don’t have the productivity gene some people seem to have
2. Productivity tips and tricks simply don’t work: We’re being lied to about how to be productive
3. We need more tips and tricks: What we’ve come across isn’t enough, or isn’t right for us

The third conclusion leads us to continue our pursuit of productivity tips that work, only to continue the cycle of unproductive behavior.

So what is the problem? Why can’t we seem to be productive?

To answer these questions, we need to change the way we look at productivity and, therefore, the approach we take dealing with it.

Unproductive Behavior As A Symptom

The biggest mistake we make in trying to be productive is assuming that lack of productivity (usually in the form of procrastination) is the problem, when it is, in fact, the symptom of a deeper problem. And in the same way that symptoms can be caused by a number of possible problems (a.k.a. diseases), we must first understand the root cause of our unproductive behavior.

Diagnose The Problem

Now that we know that our lack of productivity isn’t the problem (but a symptom of our problem), we can begin our search to find the underlying productivity problem.

At times we procrastinate because we don’t want to do a task, and other times we don’t know how to do it (and so end up putting it off!). We can be gripped by the fear of failure, or we might even be held back by the fear of success. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the load of work you have to do and ended up not doing anything? Or how about not knowing what you’re meant to be doing in the first place?

Your productivity can suffer if your energy level is low, or if you’re slow when working.

All these different types of productivity problems have different causes, which cannot be overcome with the same generic solution. There’s no Panadol to remedy our lack of productivity! We need to use the right cure for the right productivity disease.

Getting The Right Prescription

By having the right understanding of our productivity problem, we can look for the right prescription to effectively cure it.

• What can we do to enjoy a task we’ve been dreading or loathing?
• What can we do to find out how a task is to be carried out?
• How can we overcome the fear of failure or the fear of success?
• How can we boost our energy level?
• How can we develop our skills and speed up our work?
• How can we reduce distractions and find focus?

Answers to these specific questions will help us find the right prescriptions, rather than posing the vague question of: How do we become more productive?

Taking Our Medication

It’s very easy to read advice, but reading doesn’t change our situation, in the same way that having a prescription slip doesn’t cure us from illness. We need to take our medication and put the productivity tips into use. This may seem obvious, but our obsession with productivity tips can be all-consuming, that we no longer realize why we were searching for productivity tips in the first place!

Stocking Our Medicine Cabinet

Productivity tips can be immensely useful, but they must be used to treat the right productivity problem. In order to effectively tackle any and every productivity problem we face, we need to stock our “medicine cabinets” with these productivity tips, and use them when necessary.

We must also get rid of the tips that have never been effective, regardless of the productivity problem we’ve faced. Some tips simply don’t work. There’s no use trying them out again and again.

With that you’re now equipped with the right approach to lead a great and productive life.

So what’s stopping you?

That’s what you have to find out!

Haider Al-Mosawi writes about leading a balanced life and making the most out of personal growth resources (without being consumed by them) over at his blog: PersonalGrowthMap.com.

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First things first, I need to be an excellent student, so that is where I’m putting 100% of my focus. I’ve run around and asked some of the best students in the school about their time management, success philosophy, and study techniques. Then it came time to integrate everything I’ve learned from them, and from my previous education, into actionable steps.

Keep in mind that the information in this post is very experimental. It’s where I am at the date of this writing, and since I plan to work on these skills daily, I’ll likely be in a new place within a month. Another reason I wanted to write this article is so that I have a place to go back to. If for some reason I wake up tomorrow and forget what I’m doing that’s so effective, I’ll have this, and be able to build on it.

The technique I’m finding effective is what I call Cataloging Information in my mind. It might be a combination of several other techniques known to psychologists as chunking, visualization, simplification and repetition. I’m making up my own word.

I’ll use Biochemistry as an example. What I was previously doing to study for it was taking and looking over 20-30 pages of notes per lecture. My new technique is to write about 4-6 pages of notes, most of which are in the form of diagrams, lists, and keywords. I find this to allow for better repetition, because it’s much simpler to go through 4 pages than 20. I’ll have 5 times the exposure in the same amount of time of repetition.

Going through complex reaction cycles is now a proactive exercise, whereas before I would reread, stare a bit, reread again, and then move on, I am now challenging my memory. I do this by taking something like 3 items into my mind, turning away from the paper, and placing them into an imaginary reaction circle in my mind. Sometimes I even involve my hands as I move the words onto this circle.

I then come back to the paper, and I check out the next 1 or 2 items. I then turn around, back to my imaginary circle, and I start from the beginning, first my original 3 items, and then the next 2. I keep repeating this exercise, starting from the beginning and adding new items, and then repeating the whole thing start to finish a couple of times to make sure I have it down. Repeating it again in the near future to make sure it’s still in my head.

The chunking is relevant to the small size of my notes. I write related information closely together, and I can mentally remember the physical location of these items on the paper, the color of the different items (I use 18 different colored markers, go Sharpie!), and how these items relate to each other. Sometimes I relate them to each other by using a Mnemonic with the 1st letter of each word or something silly that will be memorable to me.

Once I go through all my notes for the lecture, and then all the lectures for the test, I go over them again. I try to recall as much about all the steps that are involved based on topic headings. So say there is a topic heading that says ‘Urea Cycle’, I will then turn away from my paper, and do the whole circle in my mind to know that I have truly grasped it. I’ll then repeat this consecutively, using only the topic headings as a trigger for my memory.

That’s all I have for now. If you’re a WIZ at studying, have a higher education degree that’s heavy on the sciences, or just  want to share something specific that has worked for you, I would love to learn – comment below.

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It was a beautiful summer evening, and the affiliate summit booze cruise was buzzing with people sharing million dollar ideas with old friends and new acquaintances. I was lucky enough to be standing next to Jim.

“It’s easy. Everyone in the world has something that they could teach to someone else. You just upload the content, put a price on it, and then go ahead and promote it.”

My jaw was dropped for 45 minutes straight as Jim told me about his latest creation; an online university where you can be either the Prfessor, or the Dean. It’s all about sharing what you know, so you can facilitate a new topic, or bring on experts that will contribute to the topic. Whichever way you go, there’s money to be made when you have genuinely valuable knowledge to share.

The simplicity is what makes Prfessor the best turnkey passive income generator on the internet. Whatever you’re passionate about, and could teach to someone, is the same exact thing that can make you money.

It works because you took a lot of time researching the things that you like, such as your hobbies, which makes you really knowledgeable – basically an expert on the topic.

“You don’t know everything, but everybody knows something.”

This means that you can save someone hours, days, even YEARS on their learning curve, because you can sell them your mentorship and teach them without them having to go through the same mistakes you did. It’s passive, because once you make the content, new people can learn from you and pay you, without you having to stand in front of a class – over and over again.

I really believe in Jim, and I believe in this product. I promise that if I wasn’t studying 80 hours a week in Dental School, I would be creating MANY courses to share my knowledge with people. However, since studying is my life at the moment, I’m counting on you to go out there and create something awesome.

So do me a favor do yourself a favor, and go over to Prfessor.com and let Jim Kukral tell you a bit more about it. In the mean time, I’m getting back to my studies!

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Jennifer Crews contacted me a couple of weeks ago to come on her radio show for an interview. This interview is happening live this Saturday, on the third season of “Get Clear – Gain Clarity in Your Life.”

I’ll be joining Jennifer for 45 minutes, about clarity, decision making, and overcoming obstacles. It should be a great show, and I hope that you guys can tune-in to show some support, and even call in to ask questions.

There will be several ways to listen. One way is by logging in to www.krxa540.com on Saturday at 3:30pm EST. If you’re a local of Monterey/ Santa Cruz, California, then you can listen on AM540. Mark your Calenders now.

If you can’t make it live, we will be recording, and I’ll put the mp3 through iTunes. You can subscribe to my iTunes to get the instant update when I put it up (it might be awhile).

I really appreciate everyone hanging in here while I’m in dental school. It’s a lot of work, it’s not easy, but it is fun, exciting and challenging. The subscriber numbers are going up, the traffic is staying steady, and so during winter break I’ll write a bunch of articles and spread them out over the next semester. We’re going to have a lot of fun here on AlexShalman.com – so stay tuned!

P.S. If you are a personal development enthusiast, and whether or not you have your own blog, I would like to invite you to do a guest post. I’ll only accept it if it’s really good, the readers have come to expect some quality stuff here and I don’t want to let them down, but I’ll work with you to come up with ideas. Shoot me an e-mail.

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Just as setting small and attainable goals are the building blocks for achieving success; living a lifestyle of making good health choices leads to greater and more sustainable happiness.

The cliché “You are what you eat” does resonate with pieces of truth and common sense. There have been several health and fitness studies over the years that suggest people who are overweight, smoke and drink excessively have a predisposition to experience more bouts of depression than people who live a more moderate lifestyle in these areas.

So, you have heard all of this before, right? The last thing you need right now is someone else lecturing you about what you are doing wrong and calling attention to the fact you may need to lose a few pounds.

Here’s the thing though, beginning right now, today, you can ignore the lectures and the comments you hear others mutter and whisper. Because today you are in control of your health, and your happiness, by empowering yourself with knowing, and believing, in the following statement: Achieving better health is a choice. Choose wisely.

Here’s a roadmap to help you make better choices:

• Relax.
  Stress and anxiety can cause havoc on your metabolism and mental health. Stress impedes your ability to think clearly. Learn to take a step back from stressful situations before they can damage your relationships, your happiness and your health.
• Think of the word “diet” as a noun, not a verb.
  Too often when people fail to sticking with a diet, it is because there are depriving themselves of some of the foods they enjoy most. Deprivation is a negative word – a word that doesn’t foster happiness. Instead of watching or counting calories, pay attention to the diet of foods you are eating. Make good choices as rule, but allow yourself to indulge from time to time.
• Walk more.
  Take the time to walk after dinner. Also, when you are out running errands, park as far away from the front of the store as possible. These extra steps really add up and you will see results immediately.
• Get regularly check-ups.
  Most illnesses or diseases can be avoided if caught in time. Yes, we are all busy. Yes, it’s a pain to see the doctor when you feeling good and really don’t see the point to do so. But prevention is the best prescription for a serious, or life threatening illness.
• Smile and act happy.
  Even when you don’t feel like smiling or feel particularly happy, sometimes you just have to fake it until you make it. You will be surprised how the smiles and happiness you receive back when actually improve your mood and happiness.

Enjoyed this article? Alex Blackwell, author of The BridgeMaker delivers twice weekly articles on faith, inspiration and stories of change. You are invited to become part of The BridgeMaker community today.

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I often write about success and successful living, but I realize it’s difficult to become successful, if you’re too tired to accomplish anything.  So today I want to discuss “10 Simple Keys to Great Energy.”

There was a time when I didn’t have enough energy to make it through my day, I would burn-out around 7:00pm, and spend the rest of my day in a lethargic state.  However, after researching the subject of “energy” and putting my research into action, I now enjoy amazing energy daily.  I’m rarely tired, even when it’s bedtime.

This article will provide you with some “actionable steps” that will significantly increase your energy-levels; giving you the energy you need to succeed.

The 10 Simple Keys

Key #1: Reduce Your Sugar Intake – Sugar drains your energy!   Sugar is a depressant, the more sugar you eat, the more sleep you need.

In other words, you should avoid foods loaded with sugar; the “sugar” in these foods deplete your energy supply and send you spiraling into a “low” (after your “sugar-high” ends).

Additionally, eating sugary foods before you go to bed will cost you precious energy the next day, so don’t do it.

Key #2: Work-out Daily – I was telling someone that I’ve been working-out 7 days a week, their response was, “Doesn’t all that ‘working-out’ make you feel tired?”  I thought, “…Make me feel tired!?!”  Working-out gives me energy, it’s a stimulant.  Working-out helps clear your mind and relieve stress.  Running for as little as one mile a day will greatly increase your energy; I recommend exercising for at least 30 minutes every day (beginning with a good stretch).

Key #3: Avoid Negative News – I never watch the “news,” I could write an entire series on this one.  Not only do I not watch the news, I don’t understand why anyone would watch the news.  It just spills out death, disease, and garbage.  Garbage in, garbage out.

Negative news is depressing and makes you feel additionally “tired,” there’s no need for you to know about every rape and murder.

You may be thinking, if I don’t watch the news, I’ll miss something big.  Trust me, if something important happens, you’ll find out about it.  (I recommend you get your information from sources other than the news.)

Key #4: Wake-up early and Get Ready Every Morning – Lying in the bed until the middle of the afternoon may make you more lethargic then getting out of bed early.

Additionally, there’s no reason to mope around the house without first showering and brushing your teeth.  Every day you should get up timely, take a shower, brush your teeth, get dressed and then find a way to stimulate your mind.  This will make you feel energetic compared to oversleeping and walking around the house in your pajamas all day.

Key #5: Take your vitamins and drink lots of water – When I take a “Multi-vitamin” and a “B-Complex” I notice a significant boost in my energy levels.  Additionally, water is a great source of energy for your body, so be sure to drink plenty of it.

Key #6: Get 7 hours of sleep – Hopefully this one doesn’t shock anybody!  You’re not going to have great energy sleeping 3 hours a night.  Try to get at least 7 hours of sleep, your body will appreciate you if you do, and it will reward you with more energy.

Additionally, it’s helpful if you create the habit of waking up and going to bed at the same time everyday.  I sleep from 11pm to 6am daily.

Key #7: Eat Three Light Healthy Meals and Three Light Healthy Snacks – Very heavy meals especially during the middle of the day will make you feel tired.  Try eating 3 light meals and 3 light snacks.  It’s easier for your body to process smaller meals, and eating several light meals and snacks will keep your metabolism running more efficiently.

Note: including lots of raw foods (e.g. uncooked fruits and vegetables, etc.) in your diet is also a great way to increase your energy.

Key #8: Take Breaks – Don’t stare at a computer screen all day.  Take breaks often, get up and walk around, talk with others.  Staring at a computer will drain your energy (especially if you’re reading small font).

Take breaks as often as you can.  (Also, be sure to sit in your chair properly; feet on the floor while you’re working.)

[Remember, relaxing is a good thing.  You should also plan at least one fun activity daily (e.g. even if it’s simply watching your favorite television show with your spouse or significant other).]

Key #9: Sunlight – Get some sunlight, the vitamin D you’ll receive from the sun is a good energy supplement. (Just be sure to wear sunscreen.)

Constantly being in the dark can cause you to feel lethargic.

Key #10: Organize Your Life – If your house, garage, office, car or life is a mess then you will probably feel additionally “worn down.”  Organize your life for a feeling of greater energy.  Clutter breeds clutter.

They say, “If I can see your garage, then I’ve seen your mind.”  How does your garage look?  Is it organized?

Clean things up in your life, and you will feel more energetic.

In closing, these are the “energy” keys that have worked for me, but I don’t want to close out this list, please feel free to add your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below.

Mr. Self Development is an author who teaches a practical guide to success and wealth. Please visit him at Mr. Self Development.com. If you’ve enjoyed reading this article, then you may want to subscribe to his feed, follow him on Twitter, or read one of his most popular articles, “How I Manifested a Seven Bedroom Home at 24.”

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I’ve always been a fan of quick wins and quick results, and as I’ll soon cover, so is the rest of society. With that in mind, not that many of us have long term goals, of if we do, we’re not working towards them. Up until about a year ago of my two-decade existence, there wasn’t really anything I was working for.

I was in and out of college, I was working on various websites, I was in a dead-end job and I even did freelance marketing work on the side. Nothing was set in stone, and life wasn’t really going in the direction I wanted it to.

Just over a year ago I started a blog which was to become my first real long-term goal. I had a topic idea in mind, I had coded a unique design, and I was ready to go. Now, 13 months on, the blog has been a huge success and the rest of my life is getting on track as well.

In fact, I recently started a gym regime around my health related goals and I’m already seeing some great results. The reason I’m telling you this is because having long term goals are often underrated, and now I want to share three reasons to have them.

Breakthrough the Lie of Society

Marketers know what we as a society want, and they offer it to us from every angle. The guide on how to make $10,000 online in a fortnight, how to lose 10lbs in one week and how to cure acne in as little as 48 hours. We want a quick fix and we want it now, so that’s what people “offer”.

If these claims are possible, then show me one person who went from nothing to $10k in two weeks by following one of these courses. Or show me someone who popped a tiny pill each morning, without changing their diet or exercise, and healthily shed weight. No matter how hard you look, you won’t find anyone.

Instead, having long term goals helps you break past all these marketing ploys and gimmicks and see that real results and real hard work are what it takes to achieve results that matter. Although the journey won’t be easy, it will actually get you somewhere and won’t leave wondering where your money went.

Learn the Art of Patience

Anyone who knows me will tell you that up until recently, I was probably the most impatient guy on the planet. If I wanted a new laptop, I couldn’t wait until the January sales, I had to have it now. If I wanted a new design for my website, I didn’t want to wait weeks for it to be coded, I wanted it now.

In fact, if I wanted anything in life, I wanted it instantly. Probably a trait those pesky marketers have instilled in me.

Anyways, these days, I’ve changed a lot. Since working on projects that take 6 months or more to blossom, I realise that things worth having are worth waiting (or working) for. I no longer expect instant results and realise things take time. I’m even desperate to purchase a Macbook before I go travelling and instead I’m going to wait until I really need it and will probably save money for doing so.

Have Something to Wake Up For

Dale Carnegie, in his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, found that many people were ‘cured’ of their severe depression simply by keeping themselves busy. If they did enough tasks and didn’t allow themselves to dwell on their issues, their health, happiness, and appreciation for life started to improve.

I can relate to this when looking at many of my friends and family members. They simply don’t have anything else going on in their lives apart from survival. That is simply living their lives around their jobs and receiving a pay packet at the end of each month. They rarely love what they do, and their mood levels often show it.

Instead, if you have a long term goal around something you’re passionate about, there’s a reason to get out of bed each day and make the most of this opportunity. There’s a reason to keep going and this enables you to even push your own limits.

Set a Goal, Right Now

Before you close this page or browse to other areas of the site, I want you to set a long term goal if you don’t have one already. It could be:

• Learning a new language
• Building a successful website
• Getting a promotion at work
• Learning a new skill or trade
• Losing weight or building muscle…

…or any other long term goal that you can think of. Find something you care about and would like to work on regularly, and you’ll soon start seeing the benefits in all areas of your life.

Glen Allsopp is the author of PluginID, a blog on Personal Development. Glen covers topics such as Personality Development and How to Make Friends.

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The sound quality isn’t the best, but it’s doable – I’m putting myself on the line for constructive criticism of my public speaking skills. That means don’t criticize my jet-black matrix looking outfit (I will only interpret it as jealousy, hehe), just let me know what you think about the delivery.

As you know I’m always into improving my skills, and I really want to become a master storyteller. I don’t expect it to happen overnight, but I do like to take advantages of opportunities like this where I spoke in front of about 120 people.

Some things you might want to comment on are: my movements and gestures, my tone and pitch, the feelings you got about the content, how persuasive did I come off, what turned you off about the speech, etc.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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We have to travel many paths in our lives in order to reach the state of our true self. There are also many caves to enter. Caves are those places deep inside us where we are a little bit nervous to enter, some we have to enter, some we stumble upon and some we avoid altogether.

This article will talk about some of the caves we fear to enter and why entering them can be useful for us.

What are the caves?

The caves are those places in our minds where it’s a little darker and we would rather not explore them. In the caves can hide our fears, our worries, our hopes, and our dreams we daren’t dream. They are not places that are locked away, they are open to explore however the paths to them are less trodden. Maybe it’s time we explored these caves.

The cave of hope

Some people never dare to have hope in their lives for a number of reasons. One of the reasons can be because they think they don’t deserve to be hopeful, their thought’s, actions, and life don’t dare to enter the cave of hope for fear of rejection and failure.

The cave of hope is for every single person in the world to enter, whether your hopes are for love, a new car, a new house or the hope of living without fear in your life, which is a basic human need. Whatever your hopes are it’s perfectly okay to enter the cave of hope and find out what the possibilities of life hold for you.

If you don’t enter the cave of hope your life will be stuck, forever in the same place. Without hope, there is no action, without action, we stagnate. dare to hope for yourself, for others and for the world.

The Cave of Worry

Contrary to the title of this post this cave is where a lot of people spend their time; the cave of worry.

The cave of worry is a strange little place, there are tunnels galore leading off the main cave, there are lots of paths leading to the cave and there are lots of inter-connecting caves leading to this cave however. The cave itself is infinite, there is no end, you could walk for miles in this cave of you mind and you will still not be near the end. It’s never ending because that is where worry starts and finishes, it’s starts nowhere and leads nowhere.

I have a client just now who is worrying about something which might happen in a few months time. He cannot sleep for worrying about it which makes him more anxious during the day. When it was pointed out that the possible outcome of his worry cannot be changed AT ALL by him worrying about it and we channeled the ‘worry energy’ he was expending into something more productive his worry seemed to lessen. ‘What if’s’ cannot help us at all in our lives and it wastes a lot of our mental energy when we think in ‘What if’ terms.

It’s not easy to stop being a worrier as for some of us that’s all we know. However, the worry energy can be channeled into other areas which will help ease our worries.

The cave of our dreams

This is a bit like the cave of hope however different in the way that hope is filled with definite possibilities whereas the cave of our dreams is filled with things we may never obtain like winning the lottery.

Is it worth visiting this cave within our mind? Without a doubt yes!

Dreams, even unobtainable dreams or ones we have no control over, is a form of escapism and it’s no different than going to the movies, or reading a book. It also lets us imagine a bigger future for ourselves. When we dream big, I mean really big, our expectations of ourselves is raised a little bit higher than it was had we not dreamt big.

As an example; Say you currently have a business and your profit per year is $15,000. When you start visiting the cave of your dreams and start to imagine your business with a profit of $1,000,000. You really put yourself in the picture, you don’t really believe it will happen however you can actually feel what it would be like to live the lifestyle of someone who owns a business with a profit of $1,000,000 per year. Now, when you come back to reality and see the figure of $15,000 you raise your expectation of what you can do with the business to double your current figure of $15,000 profit per year. Dreaming allows your mind to think of ways to start climbing to reach what you dream of and it will present ways to try and make this happen.

If this sounds like a lot of nonsense, then just take a look at some of the great business persons of the world; Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Eben Pagan, Kevin Rose, Anita Rodderick. All of these people started small but dreamt big. With each successive small success their dream became a reality.

It’s great to dream big and dream big often, it will raise your expectation of what you can actually achieve.

The cave of fear

This is the best cave to visit, even though most of us try and avoid it. The cave of fear holds all our fears about your life. It’s also the cave that has the potential to change our life the most.

Fear has the potential to control our lives if we let it and most fears are irrational. Like the fear of spiders. What’s the most harm most spiders can do? and I’m not talking tarantulas I’m talking about the common everyday spider. They cannot do anything but put on a few pairs of hiking boots, grab plenty of silk rope, grab a flask of tea, kiss goodbye to the partner and kids and go hill walking up your arm, yet some people are so afraid of them. Most of them cannot bite, so there is no danger whatsoever from them.

The only thing to do to start living a fuller life is by conquering every single one of your fears.

I was afraid of heights a few years ago so I conquered this by doing a bungee jump, a parachute jump, and abseiled down the Glasgow Hilton hotel. Did I get over my fear? yes I definitively did. You see fear is irrational in that we work ourselves up to a state of panic whenever we think about that which we say we fear. If you face your fears, you will grow, learn more about yourself, and develop quicker than by doing anything else related to personal development.

To face your fear there’s no better way of doing it than by doing it head on. If you fear heights, get to the top a building and look down, if you fear spiders go to your local zoo and ask them to let a spider walk over your hand, if you fear going outdoors get outside. There is no other way for it and it may sound flippant to say just do it but it’s the only way and your fear is nothing more than a psychological barrier YOU have put up in your mind.

I’d like to leave you with a quote.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
~Joseph Campbell

Steven is the author of Change Your Thoughts and works as an alcohol and drugs counselor. He has a BSc in Psychology and has a passion for studying belief formation, thought processes and values and principles. His blog focuses on personal development through changing your thoughts but covers the whole personal development field.

Check out Best Practices for Overcoming Obstacles by Alex Shalman at SDN.

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Last week my classmate and future dental-superstar Damoon Yashar told me about his life philosophy. Go hard, or go home. He meant this in the context of focus and effort, and said that if he’s going to study, he’s going to give it 100%, if he’s going to go to a social event, he’s going to be 100% present there.

This philosophy really resonates with me. I’m a fan of books like the Power of Now, and Landmark Education has a strong focus on being present as well. It’s just a more interesting and constructive way to look at life, when all your energy, power, and attention is on what you’re doing.

Let’s look at ways that you can ‘Go Hard or Go Home’ in any area of your life.

10 Ways to Go Hard or Go Home

1. Go home. If you’re not going hard, maybe it’s because you don’t really love what you’re doing. If that’s the case, don’t waste your time and your precious life energy on doing something that bores you to tears– quit.

2. Isolate. Sometimes we want to go hard, but distractions keep popping up. In that case, isolate yourself. In my apartment I have no TV, and I generally keep e-mail and twitter off while I study, so that the only thing in my attention is my classwork.

3. Do Less. If your mind is constantly wandering to other things, maybe it’s because you’ve committed yourself to too many things. Do less, and spend more quality time doing those things with excellence.

4. Breathe. I have been actively doing breathing exercises to get my mind focused. I simply inhale all the way in 4 seconds, and then slowly exhale over 8 seconds. I repeat this for a couple of minutes, get Oxygen to my brain, and Go Hard!

5. Worst, First. You know that task on your to-do list that you’ve been thinking about, incessantly, but not doing? Finally sit down, and trudge through it, and then let your mind focus on more pleasant things.

6. Plan, Organize. Sit down in the evening, and take time to plan out your next day, and the order of events. I do this daily. This way you can get your priorities done, instead of wasting time wondering what’s next.

7. Go Hard, and Stop. When you’re loading up your to-do list for a certain day, you have to give yourself a realistically achievable amount. As a reward for working hard and diligently, don’t add anything else to that list– stop.

8. Muscle Fuel. You can only go as hard as your mind and body will allow. I’m giving you some tricks to psych your mind up, but you also need to remember to exercise — this is going to make all the difference in your energy levels.

9. Challenge Yourself. Look at your projects, and your life in general as fun challenges. Make it your goal to improve, every single day, in everything that you do. You’ll soon develop the constant-and-never-ending improvement habit.

10. Get accountable. Have some people in your life that keep you accountable. Literally ask them to call you daily, and ask you about specific items that you said you would do. They’ll remind you, and hopefully get you off your butt to get it done. Nothing wrong with some external motivation from time to time.

I would love to know some of the things you do to psych yourself up and get into the zone. How do you go hard, and when do you go home?

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Do you think that exercise is just unpleasant hard work and lots of effort, just designed to make us tired and lose weight?

There are,in fact, many benefits of exercise that go beyond getting the physical body into a great shape. If you aren’t doing any form of exercise in your life, then I hope this post will change your mind and get you into gear

It is easy to get caught up in your studies, or your job, or be content with the fact that you are young and don’t need to exercise because you still have a good 20 years before you’re middle-aged and before you start getting problems with cholesterol. You start to get a little chubby, and when you have to run up 3 flights of stairs you find yourself gasping for air…familliar?

What I found after not doing any form of exercise for a few months is that my body feels unfit and unhealthy, stress from life creeps in, I start to get a little cranky, and I get bad moods far more often, and just have less energy in general.

The body is the temple of your soul.

Exercise has so many benefits besides the obvious of keeping your body fit and healthy.
Your body is your vessel through which you navigate life. It is a sophisticated machine, and for the longest and best quality life, you must keep that machine well-oiled and maintained. For the physical body, exercise strengthens muscles, strengthens bones, circulates the blood flow delivering oxygen to all the organs, strengthens the lungs and heart, flushes the toxins out your body through perspiration and conditions the body to be able to withstand some hard work.

After exercise, endorphins get released into your bloodstream. Endorphins are a “feel-good” hormone, and this is why after a heavy workout, you will often feel more energetic than before, and you will have a smile on your face and be in a good mood.

You may be asking yourself what exercise and a healthy body and mind have to do with personal development?

I think that it has a massive impact on your life and everything you do and accomplish. If you have a strong healthy body, and in turn a good mood and happy spirit, you will go through life a lot more positively, have more ideas, be more creative and in turn attract like minded people.

Another benefit of exercise is that you venture out. I work from home and spend a lot of time in front of the computer, so I see going to gym as a break to get out of the house. For those of you who are on a tight budget, you do not need to pay money to exercise. You can get incredible workouts for free, training at home. It’s easy to do pushups,pullups, situps, crunches, squats and more. You can buy a few free weights and a pullup bar for $100 or less and have all the equipment you need to get a full body workout.

Get a punching bag and hang it on a tree outside or from a strudy point in your ceiling. There’s nothing as tiring as going full out and punching that bag and hard as you can with all the energy you have. I bet you’re exhausted under 2 minutes

Personally I like being signed up to the gym and various classes like hiphop dancing and martial arts, because not only can you learn from an experienced instructor, you also get to meet and connect with like-minded people. The fact that I am paying money every month for these classes also acts as a good stimulant for me to actually go to them and exercise. If you’re training at home then you need a tad more discipline, because nothing happens if you ignore your exercise. If I ignore it while I’m paying for membership, it’s costing me $50 a month and would be a waste if I didn’t use it.

Did you think that the gym was the only way of getting exercise?

Here are 5 Fun ways of getting exercise that you will LOVE doing:

1-)Dancing.

I love dancing, moving my body to the beat of the music, whether it be hiphop, rock, reggae or even classical dancing. However, for the best exercise while dancing, I have to say hiphop classes or breakdancing classes are the way to go. It’s almost like gymnastics and you get to learn choreographies to your favourite songs.

2-) Martial Arts.

I wish I started when I was 5.
Muay Thai, Taekwando, Aikido, Karate, Wushu and many others. Martial arts don’t only strengthen and train your body, they also train your mind and spirit. The discipline and sense of freedom you get from martial arts is amazing! Besides exercise, you’ll also learn to defend yourself.

3-)Aerobics.

Initially I thought this was always a more girly thing until one day I just joined a class because I had nothing to do. It’s pretty fun! You’re in a group and you follow the instructor doing a series of fast-paced moves, steps, situps, jumps and more. This is for people of all ages, both men and women.

4-)Swimming.

Bet ya didn’t think of swimming as good exercise?!
Swimming is something we can all enjoy, provided the water is not too cold and shark-free. It’s a full body workout for arms,legs and abs, burns a lot of calories and gets the heart rate up nice and high. Take the plunge today!

5-) Mountain Biking.

This is crazy fun, especially if you go with a friend or two.
It’s better if there are mountains, but parks or flat forests will do too. Pack a small backpack with water, some fruit and a jersey and go on a 2 or 3 hour cycling expedition. Find a target that you have to go to and once you get there you stop and rest, enjoy the scenery , have some water and then get back on that bike and cycle back as fast as you can.

Did I convince you to get out there more and exercise?

I promise that once you start exercising more, you will start to feel much happier and you will have much more energy to go through life. Healthy body, healthy mind.

Enjoy ALL the benefits of exercise.

Diggy is author of Upgradereality.com, a blog about self improvement.

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This article explains the path to success using the simple concept of planting “corn” seeds. We know that if you “plant” corn, four things are going to happen:

Number 1: You’re going to get corn (not apples)
Number 2: You’re going to get the corn later than you planted it
Number 3: You’re going to get more corn than you planted
Number 4: You’re going to get the corn, in proportion to how much corn you planted

If I lost you…just keep on reading…

Number 1: You’re going to get corn

You shouldn’t be surprised by the results that you’re getting in your life; you’re the one who planted the seeds for those results; whether those results are good, bad, or down-right ugly.  To be upset with the results you’re getting would be like a farmer being upset that he got tomatoes when he planted tomatoes.  It would be like an artist being upset that his painting is a disaster, when he’s the one who painted it.

What am I saying, I’m saying that nothing can come from corn but corn; nothing can come from wheat but wheat; nothing from grapes, but grapes.

If you’re getting failure, it’s because you’re planting the seeds for failure, by having a mentality that permits failure.

If you plant success in your life, by reading articles like this one, and by following through with action, you will succeed.

Number 2: You’re going to get the corn later than you planted it

Many people don’t experience success because they’re unwilling to wait for the seeds of success to grow.  We’ve been programmed to think that all of our desires should be met instantaneously, without any prior preparation.

But the truth is, some things can be put in a microwave, like popcorn, or “Hot Pockets,” but the good meals have to be prepared.  They need to sit on the stove and cook slowly, so that all of the seasons can soak into the meal.  Contrary to popular opinion, public debate, and what you may have seen on late night infomercials, success takes time.

It will happen, but it will happen some time after you’ve planted the seeds for it (and it may happen later than you anticipated), but just as sure as you’re reading these words right now, your season will come.

Number 3: You’re going to get more corn than you planted

Be careful what you plant, every thought, and every decision is a seed into your future.

If you’re not planting the “right” seeds today, you have no tomorrow; just a longer today.

You should be careful what you plant because you will always receive more than what you planted.  This is good news if you’re planting good seeds, and bad news if you’re planting bad seeds.

Number 4: You’re going to get the corn in proportion to how much corn you planted

If you put in a little work, then you will receive a little harvest.  If you put in a lot of work, then you will receive a big harvest.

If you want to be successful, you must spend your days planting beneficial seeds that will give you a beneficial harvest.  Don’t waste your priceless moments on unproductive activities.

Decide that you want a great harvest; dedicate everyday to planting seeds that will make that desire a reality.  Stop wasting time; stop doing unproductive activities.  Focus your life on the few critical tasks that bring results, the important seeds, and spend a majority of your time planting those seeds.

If you do, your harvest will come, and the results will amaze you!  Thank you for reading.

About the author: this guest post was written by Mr. Self Development. Please support Mr. Self Development by subscribing to his blog at mrselfdevelopment.com; Mr. Self Development is a motivational author that offers a practical guide to success and wealth.

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Ever wonder what kind of conversations successful people have? No, it’s not gossip or negativity. A few weeks ago at Derek Sivers’ dinner party, he brought up his new philosophy on making decisions in his own life.

So if you’re not going to be thinking in terms of blah, grey, boring things that you could be doing in your life, then what’s left? Black and white, extreme opposites, what you don’t want and what you really really want – that being your HELL YEA!

In his HELL YEA article Derek gave a recent example of this principle when he was choosing his new employee. No one in the first round of interviews was really a HELL YEA, so instead of picking one because he had to pick one, he scrapped the whole thing and took a new approach to interviewing that brought in a HELL YEA employee.

In my own life, my HELL YEA has been dental school. After the first time that I didn’t get into dental school, I was discouraged, and at the same time I had an opportunity to go for a sales job with 6-figure potential. As I was weighing out the risk/reward and pros/cons, it hit me that dentistry is my HELL YEA, so I applied for my masters program and ultimately got into dental school.

Derek pointed out that the HELL YEA principle is congruent to Steve Pavlina’s principle in Personal Development For Smart People. If whatever you’re aiming for isn’t a 9 or 10 on a scale of 1-10 then it might as well just be a 1. If it’s clearly a 1, we do something about it, but the real danger is in those 6s and 7s in where we feel comfortable enough to settle. Forget all that, if something isn’t a HELL YEA 9, or 10, then just-say-no.

You don’t have to use this only for big decisions in life such as careers choices, who you’re going to marry, or where you’re going to live. Try to use the HELL YEA principle for the small everyday decisions as well, such as what you’re going to eat, who you’re going to hang out with, and what ways you’re going to stimulate your personal growth!

This brings me to my final question. I would love to see nothing more then everyone in the world going for their HELL YEA. So… What’s your HELL YEA?

Elsewhere: How To Quit Your Job by Burning the Ships

NEW: Buy a “What’s Your HELL YEA!?” T-shirt (All profits will go to charity)

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The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.
~Randy Pausch

Long story short – I’ve been accepted to the NYU Dental School graduating class of 2013. That means I start Monday August 24th, and go on my four year journey of Dental mastery!

I really want to thank a lot of people. Thank you foremost to all my family and friends that believed in me. I can’t say that it’s been an easy road, and your words of encouragement, the occassional kicks in the butt, and your excellent ability to give me space during many hundreds of tests over the years has helped tremendously.

Thank you to the various people that recommended me to the school, vouched for me as a person and as a student, and generally went out of your way and put your name on the line for me. This is a huge story that I could write a book about… I’d call it something like “How to Network Like a Monster and Crush It in The Trenches!”

A few facts about my failures (or the many ways I figured out NOT to get into dental school). I applied to Dental school straight out of college, and I didn’t get in. Both my GPA and Dental Admission Test didn’t meet the hardcore requirements brought on by 6000 applicants going after 200 spots. I then retook my admission test in the August of 2006, and got my Masters in Biomedical Science in 2008.

The waiting list. In December of 2008, I got on the waiting list for NYU Dental school, during which time I was supposed to wait. I take ‘waiting’ a bit differently then most other people. This included interning at the school, going on a circuit of continuing education seminars for dentists, and studying for another 3 months to retake my dental admission test. Much more on this in future posts.

The future. I can’t wait to get into dental school and learn everything I can. I want to be able to say that my patients will not get a better treatment anywhere else in the world, they might get just as good (someone else’s 100%), but they won’t get any less from me. I’m also looking forward to combining both my knowledge of personal development and social media to create communities both online and off, and to create both brighter smiles and a brighter world.

All I can say is… If you have a dream,  whether you have to go through those doors sideways, backwards, or jump in from the roof… don’t give up.

Thank you for the congratulations in advanced… let em rip.

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If you think we’re friends, and you don’t meet this criteria, then you’re my fan. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my fans, but do differentiate them from friends.

I’m certainly not above making new connections – I pride myself on being able to make friends quickly and easily – I just don’t have the capacity to devote time to friends if everyone is my friend.

Friends Vs. Fans

With the advances in transportation, communication and now the popularity of social networking it’s never been easier to keep in touch. Become popular enough, or a social networking whore, and you’ll have no time for anything but entertaining superficial relationships with fans and strangers.

If you’re not popular enough – or don’t have enough exposure to new people – then you’re in danger of settling for friends that don’t meet your own personal criteria. Deep connections with the wrong people can be just as bad as superficial connections with too many right people.

As you can probably already tell a happy medium exists somewhere in the equation. Make no mistake, you don’t want to compromise on the quality of the people that you surround yourself with. What you do want is to have an amount of people in your life that you can devote enough time to in order to maintain deep connections.

Certain friends require more maintenance than others. I have friends that I can call once every couple of months, we catch up and empower each other on our journey, and then go about our separate lives. Then there are friends that I keep up with weekly or even daily.

When things are not totally reciprocal, such as when a person with less connections wants to make friends with a very connected person, a phenomenon known as “fan” happens. One person might respect and admire the other, while the other might not have had the pleasure to find this out about them.

It’s important to realize when you are being a fan. If you’re a fan of too many people, you might not have enough time left over to nurture deep friendships and  still get your work done.

The solution is time management (or possibly friend management) and is a two-step process involving honesty and assertiveness. Be clear with people that you cannot devote time to them because you’re working towards a very important goal. At the same time, make it a point to not only devote time to your friends but really be with them and listen.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
~Walter Winchell.

They say that sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. The real friends, the ones that aren’t just fans, will come-a-knockin regardless of whether you’re up or down.

Attention: Don’t forget to download my free ebook, How to Get a Girlfriend!!

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“People don’t want to do business with business cards, they want to do business with people.”
~Audio (via @LewisHowes)

I’ve placed myself in an excellent position to observe networking patterns between homo sapien mammals. About 2-3 events per week (6 days in a row this week).

Beware The Card Pusher

Some people are scared of rejection, think they are their business card or are simply socially retarded. These people think that handing over a business card with the standard name, number, and job description is going to make them remarkable enough to do business with, let alone remember.

This might be a very convenient way of doing business, if it worked. You don’t need a personality, charisma, or strategic conversation. Just sneak up behind someone, take out their wallet, and slip in your business card. Later on when they get to the office and notice this nice shiny card in their pocket, they’ll be sure to call you to order some life insurance for the family and staff.

As Borat would say, “Noooooot.”

Ditch The Card

The secret is that it’s not about the business card. I’m not saying don’t have a business card (until more people get Pokens) – you’ll want a business card after you’ve made a solid connection with someone as an easy way to exchange contact information without having to stand there and enter it into your iPhone.

When I say ditch the card, I mean ditch using a business card as your approach. Don’t even use what you do as an approach. Be a person, with genuine passions, hobbies, and interests and go out there and share yourself!

Think about the people that you want to do business with right now. You know, like, or trust them in a similar way as you do your friends. That means that what you want to do is increase your personal network of friends, so there are more people that want to do business with you.

We’ve got some work cut out for us. We have to be clear about our vision and who we are both as a person and as a marketable brand. We have to be brief, since people’s attention is limited and expensive. We have to be transparent, because people don’t want to do business based on a lie. If we can master this we will graduate beyond our business card and into a person that people know-like-trust.

Right and Wrong

This weekend I had the opportunity to go to Affiliate Summit East in NYC. My intention for going there was to catch up with some friends and meet some online personalities that I respect and admire. For the people I haven’t met yet, I’d obviously need an approach other than jumping on them like a Beluga Whale with a business card.

Getting burned. I admire Chris Pearson for his no BS approach to creating code for the Wordpress Thesis Theme. His philosophy is that he’s going to do it perfectly, not care what anyone says, and be the number one in this space. He actually reminds me of Howard Roark from The Fountainhead, except Chris also likes money. Long story short, when I first met him I tried to pitch him an idea, something that happens to him on a daily basis and no doubt annoys him, instead of just trying to be a friend. Fail.

More effective. I respect Jim Kukral because he’s always thinking in terms of how he can bring value to people. He’s one of the most genuinely nice guys that I’ve met, and he’s got an incredible savvy for business. I did try to pitch him a little, but I was mostly concerned with the interesting things that he’s got going on, and I let him beat me in Wii Golf (that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!) a few times. I think him and I have much more of a potential to be friends, which is great for me. Remember my rule – I will be friends and surround myself with people that I respect and admire.

Greatly effective. During two of last weeks networking meetings I simply presented myself as “These are the various things I’m good at, and I love to connect people, so let me know what you need in order to grow and I’ll connect you with the best resources I know.” I made sure to hook up everyone, follow up with e-mails, and facilitated business contacts for people. These are the people that would go out of their way to help me if I asked.

What are your business networking tips?

(I’m in this issue of Productive Magazine, check it out)

Attention: Don’t forget to download my free ebook, How to Get a Girlfriend!!

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When Alex asked me if I would like to write a post entitled 12 Transformational Life Coach Tricks, I was like, “Wow, that could be tough, because these are topics that I often spend 1,500 words on and up and I’m sure he doesn’t want a 20,000 word guest post.

However, as I started to think about it , I warmed to the idea. After all, my Twitter training over the last year or so should mean I can keep things relatively short when I have to.

Before we kick off, please understand that these are brief and really meant to whet your appetite. I’d encourage you, if some resonate with you, to do some research. This is some of the best stuff I do with clients, but best of all, for you it’s free and what’s not to love about that?

1. You’re #1

Here’s a shocking start to kick things off with.

You’re the most important person in the world to you.

That’s right, it’s not your kids, your parents or even The Pope, it is you! Without you, everything else in your reality ceases to exist. So be kind to yourself, ALWAYS. You’re doing the best you can with the information you have at hand. You mess up, you make mistakes and you make stupid decisions because we all do.

Treat yourself with the kind of respect you would like from others at all times. If you don’t like other people hurling abuse or disrespecting you, don’t do it to yourself.. ever!

2. Shut The Duck Up

We all have a voice, or more often than not, voices, inside our own head. Mine used to sound like a whiny bad tempered old duck. It would quack away at me telling me what a loser I was and how things were always my fault.

The weird thing is I never realized I had control of the duck. I thought he was a magic duck that ran rampant down the empty corridors of my mind, but apparently not.

Trying to shoot him never seemed to work, he’d just bounce back tougher and more determined than ever. So we had a chat and agreed to work together. I promised to take him seriously when things did get tough and he promised to be more supportive and easy going and not be so whiny. It was a classic win/win for me and Dilbert (I can’t believe Tim named his imaginary duck hehe ~Alex).

3. Mind Your Language

You communicate internally primarily through the pictures you make and the conversations (often at an unconscious level) you have with yourself. I know that because it’s what we all do. The language you use is absolutely critical in determining how you feel about your life.

Words and phrases like ‘Have to’, ‘Must do’ ‘Got to’ ‘Need to’ are seldom useful. They stifle choice, make you feel bad and ultimately lower self-esteem if you then don’t follow through and do whatever it is you say you simply ‘have to do’.

Replace them with “Want to” Would like to’ and ‘Love to’ to change your perception. It may feel weird at first, but in time you’ll see a huge benefit. After all, saying “I need another piece of cake’ is rarely accurate in my experience.

4. Value Your Values

My own readers are quite frankly sick to death of me banging on about values, but do you know what your values are?

If you don’t, you don’t know yourself and you don’t truly know what motivates and drives you. Get to know your values because they dictate everything in your life and I do mean everything. They are at the core of your identity and dictate what job you do, who your friends are, what you like in a partner, whether you are a Church goer or not and even whether you like 24

5. Don’t Always Believe in Your Beliefs

Beliefs are opinions and nothing more. Ok, I suppose they can be facts too, but more often than not they aren’t. If you have a belief that you aren’t good enough, old enough, wealthy enough, attractive enough or clever enough, you want to lose it and lose it fast.

Beliefs like that will only hold you back and they need battering like a Faroe Islander batters a baby seal and with about as much compassion. Undermine them, look for contrary evidence and ridicule them. You are good enough, as long as you believe you are.

6. Ask Better Questions

Why am I such a loser? is not a great question, trust me. What can I do differently next time? is though.

Drop the ‘why’s ’ that push you into defense mode and ask more ‘hows’, ‘who’s’ and ‘what’s’. How can I improve? What can I learn from this? Who can help me?

7. Not Yet

Never ever tell yourself you cannot do something if it’s something you’d like to achieve. If you want to lose weight but can’t, saying “I can’t lose weight” will make things worse. It sends a signal to the unconscious that it’s a done deal and nothing can be done to change things because it is a statement of fact (even if it really isn’t one).

By using the ‘yet’ word you change the context and the emotion of the language. “I can’t lose weight” is a whole different ball game to “I haven’t managed to lose weight yet” The latter does two things. It pushes the problem into the past where it belongs and presupposes that things can and will change in the future. Hurrah!

8. Reframe It!

This is possibly the single most important skill you can use in changing your subjective experience, and one that the vast majority of highly successful people are good at.

Take a negative belief, situation, conversation etc and try and look at it from another point of view. Come up with as many positive scenarios as possible and don’t give up until you get at least one new perspective that makes you feel better about it.

The scenarios can be global i.e. by thinking “Oh well at least this is giving me some valuable experience” or they can be more local and specific when you look at just that particular event such as “Ok so the dog just threw up on the carpet, at least it’s not a new one, or that gives me an opportunity to buy a new one etc.”

People sometimes tell me this is unrealistic and I laugh in their face, metaphorically speaking of course. Who cares about realism if you feel better? Isn’t life about feeling good? Mine is.

You can reframe pretty much anything when you get good at it. Simply ask yourself the question “What else can this mean?

9. Anchor That Feeling

Once upon a time a man called Ivan from Ryazan in deepest darkest Russia had a dog. His dog loved steak and Ivan loved to feed him. He would ring his bell to let Roverski know his dinner was ready. The little scamp would bound up to eat salivating and licking his chops as he ran and would then wolf his food down like a wolf.

Then one day Ivan rang the bell with no food and Roverski attacked him and bit his face off. I’m not totally sure about that last bit, but it probably happened like that.

You probably know about Ivan Pavlov, his dog and his bell, so you also know what a conditioned response is.

If you have ever been violently ill after drinking tequila there is a very good chance you now avoid said beverage. The reason is your body has developed a conditioned response that makes you feel ill even before you drink the damn stuff.

That’s the downside, but the upside is you get to make some of your own. I know, how brilliant is that?

If you want confidence at the drop of a hat, you can have it. If you want calmness, you can have that too. You can even have fun if you want.

A word of warning though. Sometimes emotions are with us for good reason and turning yourself into Pollyanna is not advisable.

If you want to know more you’re gonna have to check out this YouTube demo because it would take too long to explain here.

10. Breathe

Do you know how many people breathe incorrectly? No, neither have I, but it’s a huge majority, so that probably includes you I’m sorry to say. Well big deal, what are the downsides you may be wondering? Oh nothing much, just a higher likelihood of having a heart attack and increased stress levels leading to other illnesses and poor sleep patterns.

Practice slow breathing from the diaphragm making sure your stomach rises first and you draw the air in from the bottom.  I know ladies, pushing your tummy out feels just ‘so wrong’ but probably not as wrong as being on a morphine drip.

If you have control of your breathing it is impossible to be anxious. If you don’t believe me, next time you feel panicky, check in with your breath. It will be shallower and more rapid than normal and much higher in your chest.

Push it back down where it belongs and you’ll start to relax accordingly.

11. What Is The Real Cost Of Procrastination

Do you procrastinate? Most of us do at least occasionally, but what is it costing you? Are you putting off feeling brilliant about yourself?

Think about what you have to lose if you don’t go all out for your dream. It may be helpful to write down a list of as many things as you can think of.

Look past the glaringly obvious for the knock on effects.

Remember; on the whole we regret more the things that we don’t do, than those we do. Promise to yourself that you’ll not sit on your talent a moment longer. Otherwise, you will not simply be doing a disservice to yourself, but also the people that will miss out on what you have to offer.

Of course this is primarily for you, but also I know you well enough now to believe it is for other people too.

12. Just Say No!

The more successful you become the more people will see you as a resource and want you to help them. Ask Alex how many requests he gets for help now compared to when he started his blog?

By disciplining yourself now you become better at it later. Think of people in your field that are super successful and you look up to. Do you think they have the time to say yes to everybody that wants some of their time? Do you think people think worse of them for that fact?

How many invitations do you think Oprah accepts in proportion to how many she declines? 100 to 1? 1,000 to 1? The fact is you can decline offers gracefully and without offending anybody, or you can take too much on and stress yourself senseless whilst the people that you are helping out are sunning themselves on the beach.

See #1 and put yourself first from time to time.

Tim Brownson is an Englishman, but we won’t hold that against him since he’s still awesome! He’s a certified Life Coach and has opinions the size of mountains over at ADaringAdventure.com. (Tim on Twitter)

Attention: Don’t forget to download my free ebook, How to Get a Girlfriend!!

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With over 6000+ paid speaking gigs, Ted Fattoross is the most prolific speaker who I’ve had the opportunity to hang out with. Since I want to become a master storyteller, and touch, move, and inspire people – and ultimately persuade them into actions with my words – Ted was the perfect person for me to meet.

He gave me a little bit of advice about storytelling. It’s not about the storytelling or the story as much as it is about being comfortable in front of the audience. So how do you get super comfortable? By practicing putting yourself into uncomfortable situations everyday. He recommended 12 a day, and this is how My Twelve Crazy Things was born.

I’m not doing this for attention or giggles, but simply to desensitize discomfort for the sake of more comfort. The rules are that it must make me uncomfortable, it can’t harm other people, and it can’t be illegal (I would also love it if it didn’t decimate my personal brand!)

1. Give Out Flowers to Random Strangers. I will give out free flowers to both men and women on a street corner and start up conversations. I’ll have to explain to the guys that I’m not hitting on them. Maybe I can work out a deal with a flower shop to stand across the street and direct people there after I speak with them.
2. Pretend to be Homeless in NYC. I’m going to rip and dirty up some clothes, not shave for a week, and sit in a very busy area asking for money. I’ll do this for about 5 hours, count the money, donate it to a real homeless man (or use it to buy giveaway flowers for #1), and change back.
3. Sit down with Strangers at Starbucks. I’m either going to not say a word, or strike up a conversation as I sit down with people I don’t know.
4. Pretend to Work Retail. I’ll go into a random clothes store, find someone picking out clothes, and help them pick out outfits as if I work there.
5. Go to a Gay Club. Straight guy going to a gay club – uncomfortable. I’ll throw in not bringing my girlfriend or any other female companion for this one.
6. Give Me More Ideas in the Comments. Now that you know the rules, and you know the type of things I’m talking about, I’m calling upon you to help me think of more ideas. Leave a comment below with your idea to make me uncomfortable!

Attention: Don’t forget to download my free ebook, How to Get a Girlfriend!!

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Mark Sisson is the guy that puts the facts behind lifestyle, exercise, and nutrition claims. His current mission is to create the happiest, healthiest, leanest, most fit, and productive life that he can while he’s here on earth.

In the good ol’ days Mark Sisson was a professional triathlete, endurance runner and finished in the top five of the US National Marathon Championships — ultimately qualifying him for the Olympics. Following conventional wisdom, and exercising more than most human beings on this planet, Mark found himself to be unhealthy and overworked.

This unexpected state of health beckoned Mark to ask the question of ‘what do we do in the name of fitness?’ He spent the rest of his life, up until now, doing research on diet, fitness, nutrition, and all the erroneous assumptions that have been surrounding these topics over the last several decades.

Mark looks at our lives in the 21st century from an evolutionary perspective. Particularly, how our genes expect us to act and behave in a particular way, in order for us to be healthy. Unfortunately, we mismanage our genes, and Mark’s life for the past 20 years has been centered on figuring out which genes we want to turn on/off to manifest good health, lean fit bodies, happiness, productivity, and all of the things that make us human.

The Reluctant Crusader Against Conventional Wisdom

Mark Sisson takes it upon himself to dispel many of the myths that we believe about science by investigating them back to the original source. Let’s take a look at just five of the many myths that he’s undertaken during his career.

1. Myth: “Your diet ought to be comprised of a largely carbohydrate based intake” The food pyramid has at it’s base 6-11 servings of grains on a daily basis, which is something that humans never adapted to, and possibly the worst advice that the government could give us. Grains may be largely responsible for the obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and arthritis that we experience as a population.

2. Myth: “Saturated fat is bad for you” Saturated fat is a critical component of human cell membranes, and is what our bodies choose to store added fuel as. There’s nothing inherently wrong with saturated fat, but combined with the high carbohydrate intake that increases insulin level and wreaks havoc on other systems within the body, saturated fat can become a bad thing.

3. Myth: “Cholesterol is bad for you” Cholesterol is one of the most important molecules in the body.

4. Myth: “Avoid the sun. UVA and UVB rays are causing cancer” Mark contends that staying out of the sun causes more cancer than it prevents. Human bodies need vitamin D, which is manufactured when the sun hits the body and converts cholesterol into vitamin D. Vitamin D is incorporated into the immune system in ways that prevents us from getting cancer.

5. Myth: “Drink 8 glasses of water a day” There’s no rational reason to drink 8 glasses of water per day, because we get most of the water we need from the food we eat.

Mark Sisson: #Primal vs #Vegan

The human body is a very adaptable mechanism. For instance, some people have survived on seaweed and shoe leather  during the great potato famine. However, surviving is not necessarily thriving, and Mark contends that there has never been a society in history that has survived on a meatless diet.

Speaking extremes — if you happen to be an adult that has already gone through the development stages, and go from a fried food and grain diet to a fresh fruits and vegetables based diet, you’ll obviously see improvements and feel better for some time.

The base of the Primal Blueprint foods pyramid has fruits and vegetables as the base of the diet. Cutting out the meats, fish, poultry, and other proteins may have it’s consequences, but it doesn’t mean that as a Vegan or Raw Foodist or Vegetarian you won’t thrive and survive. It’s just not optimal if you are looking to maximize your health, strength, lean body mass and all the things required to create the ideal body.

Mark Sisson goes on to share his thoughts on a book that I have enjoyed for a few years called The China Study. He contends that the book was written with a bias that does not reflect the actual research. Perhaps if Dr. Campbell, author of The China Study, wrote a book based on the actual research, he might not have come up with the same conclusions.

In recent longevity studies, it has been shown that individuals who consume the least amount of calories tend to be the ones that live the longest. The results in The China Study could thus be a function of calorie restriction. Mark Sisson contends that Dr. Campbell never looks at populations that are strictly vegetarians, just ones that consume less meat, less fish, and thus less calories.

In The Primal Blueprint, Mark Sisson points out that humans evolved to do a lot of low level activity, and the populations of China that have been studied in a lot of studies are rural populations where people do a lot of physical labor. They’re working their days doing low level activities in the fields, which Mark contends is the perfect type of exercise.

The Research Methods of Mark Sisson

Mark Sisson is not a doctor, yet he’s consistently producing high quality scientific articles that he’s researched from various sources. Mark feels that not being a physician allows him to have more of an open mind and this is because he was not exposed to the methodologies taught in medical school.

Mark uses Pubmed.com to do most of his scientific research (I also like to use scholar.google.com). You can easily lose yourself for hours by following links to more articles cited by the ones you were searching for, and the ones reviewing the ones you searched as well.

It’s important to realize that not everything written on the internet is a factual scientific study. For this reason, it’s important to learn how to differentiate between what’s science, and what’s an opinion column. I take for granted that I’ve seen hundreds of scientific papers throughout college and my masters program (I used 150 citations for my masters paper alone). You want to learn what is what, so you can take your research to the next level and not be misled.

Mark contends that for every article you find to prove one viewpoint, there is another one out there with facts proving the exact opposite. He uses the example of fish being good for you because they contain beneficial omega fatty acids, yet often times contain an unhealthy level of mercury from pollution. It’s also important to realize that studies cost money, scientists need to be paid, and it’s not uncommon for the people that pay to have a study made to get the results that they were looking for.

The Day to Day of Mark Sisson

Now here’s a man that doesn’t put his shoes on one at a time like the rest of us. Mark Sisson is usually up at 6:30 AM, has his cup of coffee with heavy whipping cream and the occasional bit of sugar. He then does some crossword puzzles while reading the paper, catching up on twitter, or ingesting some sports news. Mark then moves on to do some interviews, blog posts, and e-mails.

On workout days he’ll either head over to the gym, or goes to the beach to catch some waves. Mark values play very much, and works out so that he can play. The gym workouts are short, sweet, and pretty intense: pushups, pullups, dips, squats, lunges, and dead-lifts. The goal is to be able to play different sports, snowboard in Aspen 6 days in a row, have fun paddling for 3 hours straight, and play Ultimate Frisbee with his 15 year old son. Mark just wants to be able to play, and at 56 he’d like to do so uninjured.

He then comes home to do some work and have his ‘Big-Ass Salad‘. He’ll work the rest of the afternoon, and stop to have his favorite snack – a handful of Macadamia nuts. The end of the day might include a workout, if he hasn’t had one already. Mark no longer obsesses about missed workouts, since he realizes that 80% of his body composition is based on the foods that he eats and 20% based on how he trains. Then there’s the evening, which is filled with either family time, getting some writing in, or catching up on a movie (yes, he’s human too!)

The Mentors and Books That Shaped Mark Sisson

• The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins is a book that cemented how important it is that we understand how evolution has brought us to where we are today.
• Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes. A tough read if you’re not a scientist that offers a lot of explanation about how the scientific community has been manipulated and subject to politics, funding, and special interest groups.
• The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton. A book about how to reprogram our genes based on the thoughts we think.
• Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky. A book on how the stress response that is so vital to the survival of every animal has become perverted in the human organism because of our ability to worry.

One More Tip for Success

The first tip for success is when you take on any program — diet, exercise — regimen, it’s important that you own it and understand that no matter who you are, no matter where you come from, no matter what sort of background you have or what sort of future you predict for yourself your health is probably your number one job. If you’re not healthy and don’t have the ability to go through life and enjoy every moment, it really sours the whole life experience.

I really do want people to own that notion that your job as a human being, first and foremost, is to stay healthy. That’s what your genes want you to do, and when you do that then everything else you do increases by orders of magnitude. The enjoyment of life, the ability to experience movement and be able to travel and to have access to memories and to be able to support your loved ones and to be able to love. All of these things emanate from the first core job one, which is to stay healthy. It’s critical to embarking on any new program.
~Mark Sisson~

More Mark Sisson

• MarksDailyApple.com – Main blog
• PrimalBlueprint.com – The book (Amazon.com)
• @Mark_Sisson – Twitter (use #primal)

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That’s the first thing that came to mind when I first heard of Amazon charging $0.99 cents to let people read free blogs on a kindle. A scam for the readers who could be reading the same blogs for free online, or on their mobile device and a scam for the bloggers, who only see 30% of the profit from content that they took 100% in creating.

That was my initial reaction, before I gave it some thought. I don’t actually own a kindle. I have taken too much pride in having a large library in my house… and how could I let it dwindle away in the coming years? Would I have to pay twice to enjoy the same book?

After discussing the situation with Muhammad Saleem, he asked me a very simple question. “Have you ever tried to read a blog on a mobile phone? I have, and I’d prefer not to go blind.” That’s a great point, reading a blog from my iphone is a bit of a pain, because the letters are too small to do any extensive reading.

Doing a little research on the kindle, I found myself bombarded by an onslaught of benefits that this little device boasts. The screen is way larger than a mobile phone, and they claim it reads like a book, making it much easier on the eyes. It’s great that by getting all your books as a Kindle edition, you get to save trees from being turned into paper, and the savings passes onto us because Kindle edition digital books are like half the price of printed books. If you’re not too particular about having the big library in your house, and not big on lending your books out to people anyway (which I don’t really like doing – because they don’t return them!), then you can carry your entire library with you wherever you go. Yes, it does back up, in case you lose your kindle.

I’m not quite ready to spend a lot of money on a kindle yet, not when I have a backlog of books that authors send me for free that I’ve yet to read. However, I definitely see myself making the leap in the future, there are just too many pros! If I did have a kindle right now, I would subscribe to this blog. It’s convenient, easy on the eyes, and a whopping 30% of the money goes to support your favorite blogger

• Amazon Kindle
• AlexShalman.com Kindle Subscription

P.S. If you have a moment, please give this blog an honest review over at Amazon (whether you’re subscribing or enjoying it for free on the web), I would very much appreciate it!

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A friend of mine approached me a few weeks ago asking if I could make an investment into a jewelry store he was looking to purchase. Typically when I get these types of offers, I don’t give them too much attention, but this offer was slightly different.

And it’s not so much that the offer was different, but the person making the offer was different from the usual requestors.

Whenever someone asks me to invest in their business, I always go through the following “signs” to determine if the person will become a success.

If I believe they will succeed, I will invest; I don’t mind investing in success.

The 7 Signs of a Successful Person

1. Passion and Purpose

“Without passion you don’t have energy; without energy you have nothing.”
~Donald Trump

Passion and purpose are crucial. Passion is birth from purpose.

Why is passion and purpose so critical? Because there will always be unforeseen obstacles and reasons to give up, passion and purpose give you the strength to overcome these obstacles without losing hope.

Passion and purpose create the focus you need to push yourself to victory. As Walter Cronkite so eloquently put it, “I can’t imagine a person becoming a success who doesn’t give this game of life everything he’s got.”

2. Persistence

“Success…seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit”
~Conrad Hilton

In order to succeed you must have a “no-give-up” attitude. You have to be like a bulldog, Winston Churchill said, “The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards, so that he can breathe without letting go. Are you as persistent as the bulldog?

3. Experience

“Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.”
~Rita Mae Brown

How much experience do you have? Experience is priceless.

Virtually every successful person I know went through many years of experience prior to becoming a success; typically, 10, 20, sometimes 30 years of experience before succeeding. What are you experienced in?

4. Courage and Faith

“The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are, for what we could become.”
~Charles Dubois

Nothing great is ever achieved without the courage to make great sacrifices, and the faith to believe you will succeed. Are you willing to put everything on the line and face your fears with faith, confidence, resolution and bravery? William Shed said, “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.”

5. Sincerity and Integrity

“To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.”
~Douglas Adams

Isaiah wrote, “Without a vision, the people perish.” I came here to tell you, “Without people, the vision will perish.” No one can succeed without people, and people will only help those they like and trust.

6. Wisdom

“In the multitude of counselors there is safety.” ~Solomon

Do you take wise counsel, who’s coaching you? Who are your mentors? This is pivotal, it’s critical that you lean on the wisdom of others. No man is an island.

7. Growth

“He that never changes his opinions, never corrects his mistakes, and will never be wiser on the morrow than he is today.”
~Tryon Edwards

Are you willing to fail forward? I often say that the road to success is paved with bricks of failure and mortar of rejection. Failure is necessary for success. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing, and if you’re not growing, you’re dying.

In Conclusion

Will Rogers said, “In order to succeed, you must know what you are doing, like what you are doing, and believe in what you are doing.” I agree with Mr. Rogers.

In case you’re wondering about my friend’s business venture, I did make the investment. I believe success is predictable, and my friend possesses the signs of a “successful person.”

What’s your story, do you possess the “7 Signs?”

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“The key to change… is to let go of fear.”
~Rosanne Cash

Many of us live a life full of fear and consequently omit only a small percentage of our true being.

The battle with fear can be a daunting one no doubt, yet with the right mind-set, any fear can be overcome.

Fear of Failure

Since when did failure become a bad thing?

If we lacked the ability to fail we would lack the ability to learn.

Think about when you were learning to walk. Now imagine if you were fearful of falling. If it weren’t for failure you’d still be crawling today.

Failure is an essential part of life. Yet many continue to be deathly afraid.

Those who embrace failure rather than become intimidated by it, generally live much more successful and happier lives.

In each failure that occurs there is a lesson to be learned.

I remember when I ran cross country my freshman and sophomore year of high school, I was constantly afraid of performing below expectations (which I didn’t think were high to begin with.)

I constantly battled internally, not only my self-worth but the fear of failure. Fearing failure caused me to lock up and perform way below expectations.

It took a while but I finally learned that it is perfectly OK to fail. In fact it’s better to fail then to do nothing at all. When I stopped fearing failure I was able to stay relaxed and run at my best cross-country times.

Are you afraid of failing? Give yourself permission to fail.

Fear of Being Alone

Many of us battle with the idea that we are alone. The truth is we are not. Look around you, you are constantly connected to this wonderful place called earth.

So often we isolate ourselves from the world and as a result feel lonely and depressed.

Remember, you are never alone, you are constantly connected. Only when you turn your back on this never ending energy of connectedness do you feel the illusion of loneliness.

Too often we forget that our relationships are a direct result of our mindset. If we think we are alone we will feel alone. If we think we are connected we will feel connected.

If you feel lonely it is because you are trying to hard. Stop trying and simply be.

Loneliness is one of the worst illusions known to man. The entire human race is internally connected.

When you tune into the never ending connection not only do you truly come alive but only then can you live to your fullest potential.

You are not alone.

Fear of Public Speaking

If you truly want to make the most of your talents and gifts, it is essential that you are able to speak and communicate effectively.

Contrary to popular belief, the ability to public speak isn’t something your born with, practice is all it takes.

Those who think they weren’t “made” for public speaking are only making excuses from themselves.

I truly believe that each one of us has a message that needs to be shared with the world and one of the most effective and powerful ways to do so is through public speaking.

Too often public speaking is blown way out of proportion. Thousands have passed out on stage due to nerves.

It is essential that you learn to overcome this fear as soon as possible. You aren’t alone in your nervousness. But with practice this soon goes away.

Too be perfectly honest, I’m still struggling with this fear yet I’m doing everything in my power to overcome it.

Are you afraid of public speaking? Two words: Keep speaking.

Fear of Criticism

All too often people are so afraid of being ridiculed that they don’t even try.

The truth is you can never please anybody so don’t even bother. There will always be people who try to put you down.

It is important that you use criticism to build you up instead of letting criticism make you weak.

Being a blogger I have had my share of criticism. Some of it has been valid while other times I found people who were just trying to tear me down.

If people take the time time to constructively criticize it means they care.

While it can be easy to get caught up in what your doing wrong, it is essential that you focus on what you’re doing right.

Use constructive criticism to help you grow and ignore the negative chatter.

There will always be those who try to put you down no matter what you say or do. Drop those people out of your life, you have no need for them. Instead surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you.

Never let criticism keep you from living your purpose. You know deep down what you need to do.

Fear of Success

Yes you read that right. Some people are actually afraid of success. Many people shy away from the fact that with power comes responsibility.

Some people just can’t handle the spot light. The truth is you earned your success. Never doubt what got you there in the first place (assuming it was in a honorable manner.)

Success is nothing to be afraid of.

Success is nature’s reward for working hard. Put in the effort and the success will come. Never feel guilty of your success. You are successful for a reason.

Instead of fearing success use it to continually better humanity

Are you afraid of success? If so you could be seriously hindering your ability to grow.

Fear of Being Hurt

Many people are unreasonably afraid of being hurt.

Sure being hurt isn’t the greatest of things, yet you can’t allow the fear of being hurt control your life.

The truth is, each and everyday there is a strong chance that you might be hurt. Whether be in a relationship or through a a solid smack to your ego.

Being hurt is a part of life.

When you become afraid of being hurt you hinder your ability to truly live.

Don’t make being hurt into something it’s not. You are going to be hurt in life no matter how safe a life you may live.

It is important that you continue to take risks and embrace the wonderful moments in your life.

Allowing the fear of being hurt to dictate your life is one of the greatest mistakes you can ever make.

No matter how bad you may have been hurt you can choose to be happy today.

Don’t let the fear of being hurt keep you from living. As the old saying goes. “Live. Laugh. Love.”

Fear of the Unknown

Life is an amazing journey filled with uncertainty, that’s what makes it so beautiful. The more we learn to embrace each and every moment the happier we become.

While we may not be able to predict the future, it is essential we do all we can to truly life today. Life is too short to be fearful of the unknown.

Embrace each and every moment and be the very best you can be.

Are any of these fears holding you back? Are you the best person you can be? Stop letting fear dictate your life. It’s time to live today.

Bud Hennekes is a 17 year old blogger and aspiring young entrepreneur. His hobbies vary depending the day, but more often than not he enjoys reading, authentic conversation, meditating, blogging, and growing. He is the owner of www.aboundlessworld.com

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I have a dream that every business will be so customer centric that walking into a business that doesn’t give it their best shot will be unheard of. I’m talking about a world where everyone, and every business, “gets it.”

I first found Euphoria Salon when searching for Hair Salon and Spa in East Brunswick, NJ. I called them to inquire about waxing my back, and told them that my previous two attempts, in the years prior, had led to my back breaking out. I was pleasantly surprised by the level of comfort that I received over the phone when speaking with Michael, the manager of Euphoria Salon.

He explained the lengths in which they would go to prep my back, use the most sensitive skin wax, and then seal the pores after the procedure. He offered to do a spot for free to see how my skin would react. When I came in to Euphoria Salon I was again pleasantly surprised by the level of attention and customer service that I received from both Michael the manager, as well as Natacha the salon specialist. I decided to just do the whole back, and was very pleased with the attention to detail that Natacha showed me as she waxed my back in tiny segments for best results.

I even got a haircut while I was there, because I was already impressed by this full service salon. Unfortunately, a week after the wax, my back broke out as it had in the previous years. I called the salon, which they recommended I do if this occurred, and they had me come in to speak with the owner/skin specialist Richard.

Richard looked my skin over very carefully under a light. Then we spent well over half an hour in an unrushed and very informative conversation discussing all the things that could have affected my skin. Richard recommended several techniques and products that I could use, and went out of his way to get me free samples of everything that I needed. He also made himself available, for as long as I needed him, to pinpoint which one of the thousand things affecting my skin was the real culprit.

On my way out I stopped to talk with Michael. It’s not everyday that I experience a business that has everything going right for it. In fact, I’ve been to most of the salons in East Brunswick and always switched because of either an inadequacy in price, service quality, or customer service. Euphoria Salon gets my highest ratings in all three of these categories.

For about half an hour I interviewed Michael on the philosophy that goes into this salon business. I wanted to know exactly what it was that made them go above and beyond, since I’m planning to be the owner of a service business in the future and want to learn as much as I can. It turns out that they’re not just in the beauty business, they’re in the business of making people feel good in and out. Michael’s key trait is to listen quietly and attentively in order to better understand what someone needs both as a customer and as a human being.

We went on to talk about Michael’s mentor Jon Atchison, who was the first African-American male to own a salon on 5th Ave. NYC. This is the man that shaped Michael’s ability to make the customer feel like a million bucks for over 30 years now, and this is the philosophy that Michael instills in the staff during their weekly staff training sessions.

I don’t know too many small business that take time each week to make sure their employees are the best that they can be. Each Tuesday evening Michael and his staff get together to train a practical technique such as cutting, coloring, waxing, etc., but that’s not all. At the beginning of every single training session, Michael takes the time to repeat and review the philosophy that made me, for one, feel like a million bucks during and after my appointment.

As you can tell, I not only recommend Euphoria Salon, but I also recommend that you look into running your business the way they run theirs.

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Margie is a classic example of a girl with no discipline, who let herself go, and was basically shunned by boys because of being overweight, having a low self-esteem, and being a social misfit of sorts.

Margie would complain that guys always treated her badly, and that at 21 years of age she was still not able to forge an intimate connection with a member of the opposite sex. She knew that she had to change, but her chief complaint was always “I can’t.”

I think we can all relate, whether by being there ourselves or knowing someone who wears the “I can’t” attitude around with them, that this is one of the worst mental states to be in. While Margie said she couldn’t lose weight, or didn’t know how, people like Sofiya and other people in Margie’s life would always think to themselves “Of course you can, plenty of other people have, and so can you.” I’m just not sure if enough people were straight up with Margie, or kind enough to zap her into consciousness and get her to take action.

“If you’re one of those people who goes around saying ‘I don’t know what to do,’ please believe me when I tell you that no one around you actually believes your story. You’re more transparent than you realize. To other people it just sounds like pointless whining.”
~Steve Pavlina in Your Wealthy Avatar

If we take a good hard look at some of our excuses, chances are that we’ll be able to laugh and see how ridiculous they are. I mean, come on, people with far less than you and I have accomplished far more.

Discipline: From Rock Bottom

This story might have a happy ending, maybe. I don’t know where Margie will be by the end of her life, but a part of her story stood out in my mind that I wanted to share it with everyone here… with the world.

One day Margie woke up from a night of sleep, I’m guessing it was on a day that she just couldn’t take it anymore and hit something like rock bottom, and decided that from this day forward she would no longer bite her nails. If you’re thinking what does nail biting have to do with weight loss, and how is this going to help her get into a relationship with someone that will be nice to her, then let me explain.

As a side story, I remember listening to an Anthony Robbins audio program, where he described a huge business transaction that he was doing with a very beautiful and powerful woman. The deal was all locked, they were just about to sign on the dotted line and go for dinner, when the woman noticed Anthony’s nails as he was going to sign the contract. His nails were bitten. The woman declared that because Anthony did not have the self-discipline to not bite his nails, then she did not want to do business with him, and the whole deal was off right then and there. Lesson learned.

Margie declaring that she would not bite her nails from this day forward, and as far as I know she hasn’t, was like doing a small workout for her discipline muscle. When we’ve let ourselves go, our discipline muscle has become flabby and atrophied. In order to build it up, we have to work it out by starting small, and then working our way up to bigger and better goals.

Jim Rohn would relate this type of behavior to doing pushups. Do 1 pushups if you can, and rest, then do another. Keep doing this until you’re strong enough to do 2. Rest in between, but don’t rest too long, because if you don’t keep at it, the muscles are going to get weak again.

On a random day after conquering her nail biting habit, Margie woke up, and declared that she would lose 10 lbs of fat from her obese and neglected body. With the confidence of her nail biting conquest to motivate her, and remind her that she can do something she puts her mind to, Margie went on to lose those 10 lbs without a problem. A few declarations later, and Margie has lost a whopping 50 lbs of fat.

From what I hear, Margie looks significantly better and healthier at this point, but still has a lot of work to do. I’m sure that her new found discipline is affecting all areas of her life. I wish Margie the best of luck in succeeding to conquer all her goals in life, and I’m sure that she will meet that special guy, when she’s made herself attractive enough inside and out.

The moral of the story is, stop complaining, stop making excuses, and make a declaration that you will not stand for being less than you can be. Start small, take action, and keep building up to bigger and better goals to create the very best version of yourself that you can dream up.

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Last Sunday I was rear ended by a car while standing at a red light. I took a second, got out of the car, smiled and walked over to the other driver. With a lighthearted attitude I asked if she was okay, and asked her if she’d like to pull over around the corner to clear room for traffic.

I asked her if she would like to have a police report made, or handle it ourselves. She didn’t care either way. Luckily she had Geico, which facilitated me getting into a rental car within 10 minutes of walking into their shop, and a 24 hour turnaround for the fix!

I could have gotten angry, stormed out of my car, asked her if she was a complete idiot, degraded her for wasting my time, and perhaps even threatened her. Yes, this would be very extreme, but it would have been a result of just one thought, much like my lighthearted attitude was the result of one thought.

Thoughts are a Choice

Above I gave an example of how we can choose to respond with class, instead of reacting with temper. While this example is obvious, and many people can openly relate, it’s not the only place where we make choices. Everything in life is how we choose to think about it.

“As long as you have to think, you might as well think big. It takes the same amount of energy.”
~Donald Trump

Donald Trump has lost billions of dollars. On the other hand, he has also made billions of dollars. The reason being is that he has given himself permission to think big, risk big, and pursue mega deals in his career.

Most of our decisions in life are based on whether or not we can give ourselves permission to tackle the big things. Whether or not we give ourselves permission is based on the amount of courage and self-esteem that we possess.

Look at a person like Erin Pavlina, who at one point only gave herself permission to earn barely $10/hr as a secretary. After growing her talent as a psychic, and building up a tremendous following, she now gives herself the permission to charge $800/hr for an in person reading (and people are happily lined up around the corner for her service). That’s 2 weeks of income in just 1 hour as compared to where she was before.

A tremendous leap like this comes simply from thinking a certain way. First she had to give herself the permission to pursue her talent, versus answering phones, then to improve her skill through practice and learning. Finally she had to see that being booked for months means that she can give herself the permission to charge what she’s worth at the time.

In life, and in your business, you may also be stuck because of a situation where you aren’t giving yourself the permission to think big. Do you possess the knowledge and skills to be your own boss, but instead you’re letting your boss make more money from you than you make from yourself? Can you give yourself the permission to deserve better friends, better relationships, and a better lifestyle than your parents, or perhaps just better than what you have now?

What’s the difference between entry level and CEO, or between employee and boss? Is it not just giving yourself the permission to succeed, learning everything there is to do the job, and taking risks that other are not willing to?

Remember, if you’re going to listen to conventional wisdom, and follow everyone else’s advice, then you’re probably going to get the same results as everyone else. If you decide that’s not good enough for you anymore, make your own rules.

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Suzy Welch graduated at the top of her class at Harvard Business School, wrote a column in Oprah’s O Magazine, and was the editor of the prestigious Harvard Business Review. Since then Suzy has gone on to marry the ex-CEO of General Electric, Jack Welch, who now runs 11 companies.

Jack and Suzy Welch co-authored the bestselling book Winning. Most recently, Suzy Welch documents the decision process that has brought her much success in life in her bestselling book 10-10-10: A Life Transforming Idea.

Suzy Welch: The Mission

Suzy’s life is currently focused on talking about and spreading the message of her new book 10-10-10. Her current work revolves around talking about the book, and helping people understand the idea. This is all connected into her life mission of helping people create their own lives.

10-10-10: A Decision Making Tool

Suzy Welch says that our biggest faults in decision making are the two deadly Gs, gut and guilt. In this case, 10-10-10 serves as an intervention. It forces us to take our decisions, and instead of basing them on expedience, pressure, or the last voice in the room, to make those decisions after we think about the consequences in the context of 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years.

It doesn’t have to be taken literally, and with a stopwatch, but generally as the immediate future, and the distant future. Suzy Welch has been using this idea in her personal life for 13 years, and spreading it for the past 10, and then writing about it in O Magazine about 5 years ago. Since then, hundreds of thousands of people have effectively applied 10-10-10 to their own lives.

This 10-10-10 process has helped people to create their own lives, and change their lives from being reactive and gut driven, to proactive and strategic. The tool is organized around how 10-10-10 has worked in relationships, careers, entrepreneurs, managers, friendships, and the dozens of stories in the book reflect how 10-10-10 can be used in all aspects of our lives.

10-10-10: A Three Step Process

First of all, Suzy Welch says that compromise is a bad decision making tool, because everyone is left only a little bit satisfied, which often backfires in the long run. Let’s look at the steps to take instead of compromise.

Step 1: Define The Question. A lot of times we are faced with a dilemma, but we don’t really know what we are deciding, which makes it really hard to get to the solution. We’re all over the place, and when we get to a solution, we come to realize that’s not even the problem.

Define the questions like “do we buy this house, do I stay in this relationship, do I take this job?” Sometimes this is simple, and sometimes it’s the hardest part.

Step 2: Data Collection. Also known as identifying your options. It doesn’t always have to be a simple binary options like yes or no, but it could be something outside the box that goes beyond yes or no. Once you’ve laid out the options it’s time to examine the consequences in 10-10-10 format.

Step 3: Prioritize Your Values. Things like “who you want to be, what you stand for, how you want to live” must be prioritized, so that you can make decisions properly and really own your decisions as a reflection of your authentic values. The book goes into greater detail as to how one can ‘excavate’ their values and really figure out what they are.

Suzy Welch: Conquering Her Day

In the hopes of getting out of this interview with a HUGE secret, and sharing it with you guys, I asked Suzy Welch how she manages to do more than most of us in the same 24 hours that all of us get.

Suzy Welch is at a point in her life where she really lives by her values, so she knows what matters to her. Because of this, she doesn’t spend a lot of time on things that don’t matter to her. The biggest time saver in the world after knowing your values is candidly communicating them. Suzy is able to tell someone “this is how much time we’re going to spend on something, because of whatever reason.”

The best thing you can do is not be a phony, and candidly tell people how and why you’re spending your time. Then you don’t make a lot of excuses or have a lot of phony conversations, and that creates a huge efficiency.

Suzy Welch on Extraordinary Leadership

It’s not about you. I mean REALLY that’s it. ~Suzy Welch

When you’re an individual contributor you concern yourself with yourself and your performance. The place that people trip up when they make a transition from being individual contributors to leaders is that they don’t get that it’s no longer about them. A great leader is not one that raises their hand, it’s one that realized it is no longer about them, and succeeds on the reflected glory of their people.

The better you make your team, the more you build their skills, self-confidence and their ability to over deliver the better a leader you are. It is about them.

Suzy Welch’s Biggest Mentor

It’s Jack Welch. While Suzy Welch let’s life be her mentor, and literally learns from everyone, Jack Welch is ultimately her biggest mentor. He’s also the mentor to millions around the world. Suzy Welch now believes that if we’re realistic about ourselves, we could probably achieve bigger dreams than we allow ourselves to believe.

Suzy Welch: The Problem of Poverty

I asked Suzy Welch which world problem she would tackle first. She believes that poverty seems to be the underlying cause of most other problems. The key is ending it is to create self-sufficient communities. How’s that for a goal worth giving your life for? If you’re reading this, and want to discuss possible solutions, I’m sure Suzy would have a pair of ears to lend.

One More Tip For Success

Success is when you’re living a happy, centered, fulfilling life and for each individual that comes in a different package. To get happiness, you must live by your authentic values.

More Suzy Welch

• Suzy Welch – Main Site
• Suzy Welch – WelchWay
• Suzy Welch – Everybody’s Business
• Suzy Welch – Twitter
• Suzy Welch – Amazon

Practical Personal Development on iTunes

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