Oddly, around the time that this injury of sorts was brought to my attention, it started getting worse. Much, much worse. Funny how that happens eh? I will concede that a certain percentage of the perceived worsening of the condition is likely not worsening so much as me paying attention. And me paying attention to pain = it’s pissing me off a whole lot more (= poor Marty because as the pain increases slightly and my awareness increases lots, my bitching increases exponentially. He’s a saint, truly.)

But that said, I do think the remaining percentage of the perceived worsening of the condition is attributable to the fact that the condition actually, you know, worsened.

(Random aside: Do you guys ever get that thing where you repeat a word so many times that you don’t recognize it anymore and it starts to sound weird and foreign and loses all meaning? Worsening is that word at this very moment. It means nothing. What the hell is worsening anyway? It sounds like some kind of sausage. Bratwurst or something.)

So I’ve had a lot of twinges of pain and had days where I actually limp around and have been a little afraid to undertake the Couch to 5K program that I wanted to start this year and even days where I vaguely considered if cutting off my foot would make the pain worse or better, because I wasn’t too sure. So I went to the doctor thinking he’d probably tell me to suck it up.

His words? “Okay, it’s either a ligament problem or a bone problem. Can’t tell which because of the part of your foot. It could be a stress fracture but I’m not sure. So here’s a prescription for some anti-inflammatory pills. They’re kind of expensive, sorry. And here’s a referral for an X-ray, but that probably won’t show anything up because a stress fracture is too small to see so I’ll get you on the waiting list for a bone scan at the hospital. In the meantime, go see a physiotherapist and if it hasn’t improved in a week, I’m sending you to a podiatrist.”

Well, knock me over with a feather.

Anyway, so I’ve been taking anti-inflammatory pills which are quite effective at dulling the pain, which leads me to believe the problem is at least partially ligament or muscles. And I’ve been getting physio once every 4 or 5 days, which inevitably makes my foot feel infinitely worse for the following two days but I think it’s actually helping. He’s surprised at the slow progress though so he thought maybe it is a bone problem after all, which brings me to this morning.

At 8:30 am I was at the hospital getting an injection of some weird glowy stuff that is going to seep into my bones a little, and I have to go back at 11 am for the actual scan. But I guess not all of the injected material makes it into my bones, so they like you to flush that out of your system prior to the scan. So I’m ordered to drink 4 large glasses of liquid in between the two appointments. I’m now hopped up on a doctor-ordered venti coffee from Starbucks and am chugging my way through 3 glasses of water. Good lord I’m full.

Anyway, do you know where they do bone scans at the hospital? In the nuclear medicine department. I find this kind of funny.

That week was quite a whirlwind of resume-posting activity for me. This layoff, I had the added pressure of paying rent and other assorted bills that weren’t part of my measly fixed expenses the previous time I was laid off. So I got on the job applications with a fervour that I couldn’t quite muster last time around, and it paid off. Within days of being given my notice, I had three interviews lined up.

The one I was most excited about was for a Communications Manager position at a local college. This is basically my dream job for this level in my career and while I apply for lots of jobs at that level, I am mostly passed over because in this less-than-stellar economy, there are plenty of more qualified candidates to choose from. Still, I try anyway. I was thrilled to score an interview for this position and prepared carefully for it; I researched the college, had a couple of communications tactics up my sleeve that I could offer up as small ideas that could make a big difference to their communications program, I printed out my references, and prepared several questions for the interviewer. I had a good feeling about this one and was determined to knock their socks off.

Admittedly, I had been surprised when I spoke to the HR person on the phone who called me for a preliminary screening to determine if I was worth bringing in for an interview. She sounded, honestly, about 12 years old. I didn’t think too much of it though, because I assumed she was just the youthful assistant to the Communications Director and was just arranging the meeting on her behalf.

Nope! I arrived for my interview and was taken aback to have a young girl (who couldn’t have been a day over 18 years old) greet me dressed in a long tshirt and leggings-as-pants. She brought me to her “office” for the interview. I’m still thinking she’s the assistant of the real interviewer until she closes the door and begins asking me questions.

A little unsettled, I did my best answering her, which mainly consisted of her reading off a job duty and then asking me if I thought I could do that. In total, she asked me seven real questions, two of which were yes/no. I asked her several of my questions, to which she gave uninformative, short answers. She let slip during one of them that she’s actually a student intern! After a whopping 13 minutes had flown by, she thanked me for coming in, told me she’d make a final decision by the end of the week and showed me the door.

SERIOUSLY? A college of good reputation in the community allows a poorly prepared, ill-informed, inexperienced intern who is actually a student at the college make the final hiring decision for a managerial candidate several ranks above them who will run the school’s communications program. Needless to say, I never heard from her again. I’m thinking they were bringing in real candidates for a fake position so the HR interns could get practice interviewing.

What’s the weirdest job interview you’ve ever been to?

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Worked in the fire safety industry. Worked for a startup.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Instead of New Year’s Resolutions, last year I made a list of 101 Things in 1001 Days. I’ve been slowly plugging away at items on the list and crossing them off, but my 1001 days are not up yet. You can see my progress on the 101 Things page.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, we have some very close family friends who had their second baby boy this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, and I’m grateful for that.

5. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in Canada this year. Last year was my year for travel and this year was my year for working hard.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A bigger paycheck, I guess. But I have everything I truly need and many extra things that I want, so I don’t feel like I was lacking in 2009.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 23: the day I started my new job. June 6: I attended the wedding of two good friends of mine. July 23: the day I met Marty. November 13: the day I was laid off again.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finally getting my own apartment and supporting myself again.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Gaining back every last pound that I lost over the last two years, and then some. Guess who’s making a fitness-oriented New Year’s Resolution this year along with the rest of the population?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing worth mentioning.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A chalkboard for my kitchen. It makes me happy!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mum’s. She spent almost the entire year living back in England with her elderly, frail, and very confused and depressed mother, who needs care around the clock now. I know this year has been really hard on my mum emotionally, but she’s a trouper and has been there for her mother time and time again, even when her mum yells at her or tells her she’s doing things wrong or is being mean (out of confusion or dementia, I should add. She’s not a mean person by nature).

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
There’s a blogger I won’t name because that would be mean. I like her writing and have enjoyed her blog for months, but I was so disgusted when she decided to put her 2 year old dog to sleep because she and her husband couldn’t deal with his special needs anymore that I unsubscribed from her blog. Reading about that type of selfishness made me so livid I couldn’t see straight so I had to stop reading for my own sanity. Pet ownership is not all fun & giggles, you don’t throw a pet away because you got one that wasn’t as healthy as you bargained for.

14. Where did most of your money go?
To stores that sell home wares. I had a whole apartment to furnish!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My new apartment.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
I honestly can’t think of one that represents the year for me. But the one musical thing I’ll probably remember about 2009 is that it’s the year I began to build my collection of Christmas music. I have no idea why but that always seemed like a very adult thing to do, and for the first time ever, I wanted my own Christmas music to listen to at home this year, so I bought some albums.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter.
c) richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I don’t wish I did anything differently.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Okay, maybe I wish I’d eaten fewer cookies.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my family at my parents’ house, with my mum too! She’s back from England for the time being.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Yes

22. What was your favorite TV program?
So You Think You Can Dance. I have three favourite shows actually; they are the only shows I watch. The other two are Lost and Grey’s Anatomy. Can’t wait for the Lost season premiere in February.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a very strong word. I disliked my former coworker, but then we both got laid off in November and I don’t ever think about him anymore.

24. What was the best book you read?
So, my resolution to read 30 books in 1001 days is not going so well. I read one book last year. ONE. And I’m not admitting which one it was because that would be embarassing.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I have terrible taste in music. It’s highly unlikely I “discovered” any music that isn’t played on top 40’s radio.

26. What did you want and get?
A new apartment.

27. What did you want and not get?
Nothing.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hmmm, that’s tough. I really, really loved My Sister’s Keeper, so maybe that one.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29 and went out with my friends to celebrate over drinks.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I’d had a bigger financial cushion.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
The year I embraced skinny jeans with boots.

32. What kept you sane?
Things have been going well for me, I haven’t really needed anything to “keep me sane.” But maybe that’s because I’ve been employed, got my own apartment, have an awesome boyfriend, family and good friendships. So let’s say those things kept me sane.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Again.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I really wish I was more interested in politics, but I’m just not.

35. Who did you miss?
I missed my mum a lot.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Marty.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Although I want a job that’s fulfilling and that I’m passionate about, sometimes you just have to dig in and do what you gotta do to get the bills paid. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
No.

Mum & Andrew

I will never forget one Christmas, Andrew was only about four or five. He was really into the whole thing about trying to catch Santa filling his stocking. What child wasn’t? Of course, as always, he missed Santa but woke up in the middle of the night to find that the Big Man had been, and couldn’t resist opening his stocking there and then. Now, the problem was that Dad and I, for some reason that shall remain nameless, had been up till the wee hours on Christmas Eve – I wonder why? – and had barely gone to sleep when, all of a sudden we were wakened by a police siren going off in the hallway! Three guesses what was happening!! Young Andrew had found a toy police car in his stocking and was racing it up and down in the hallway outside our bedrooms, having a whale of a time! Always brings a smile to my face, that one!

Another memory that warms my heart to this day was one Christmas Eve, Andrew would have been around four. We were playing games upstairs when the doorbell rang. Laura and Andrew ran down the stairs, opened the door and had the surprise of their lives to find none other than Santa Claus on the doorstep! Andrew’s eyes were out on stalks, as were Laura’s! The expression on this little boy’s face was priceless. Andrew tried to wrap his tiny arms around Santa. Santa was invited in and he sat himself very comfortably in the rocking chair and pulled out presents from his big sack. So Santa truly was real. And this was a very special Christmas for my little boy.

There was a stage when Andrew was about 12 that he became the family stand-up comedian! (Which, incidentally, has never stopped being the case!). He must have heard some character on TV punctuating everything with “Moo Cow”… or maybe he came up with it by himself, I don’t remember. But next thing we knew was that Andrew was responding to anything that he didn’t want to answer, didn’t know the answer to, or even DID know the answer to, with “Moo Cow” and a straight face! It would exasperate me yet somehow always crumpled me up in uncontrollable laughter! But it didn’t stop there… Andrew and cows became synonymous, so an easy gift or stocking stuffer for him was anything cow-related. He collected a lot of bovine memorabilia!

From Dad:

For many years, Andrew has been the “self-appointed” fire tenderer on Christmas day. It has been a tradition for many years that Andrew kept the big log fire going on Christmas morning as we sat around and opened presents. He keeps the fire in good form while disposing of the wrapping paper from all the rest of us. This might also include catching balled up paper (or dodging flying paper missiles). It’s always been a favourite of his Christmas activities.

He also will miss Eggs Benedict on Christmas morning, in particular the Hollandaise sauce, in which he would completely drown his English muffin if we let him. Last year he begged for extra sauce to be made at the last minute, I finally gave in and tried to increase the volume “on the fly” and the sauce turned out to be somewhat of a disaster (too much butter). I will remember that fondly while making the regular amount of sauce this year!

Sitting down to our traditional Eggs Benny on Christmas morning several years ago

Andrew will be greatly missed this Christmas because it’ll be the first one we’ll not have our fire attendant! I doubt very seriously that there will be any log fires going this Christmas in Newcastle… but what an awesome new Christmas experience Andrew will be having Down Under, and what lovely thoughts and memories we will have of him back here in Vancouver – he will be here in our hearts and in spirit, as all the Aussie cousins down there will be.

A very happy Christmas, Andrew! Love you heaps, from Mum & Dad. And from all of us, we hope you’ve enjoyed your little virtual stocking

All of us with Andrew earlier this month as he was leaving at the airport

I am less organized and symbolic and adorable than our little sister so you don’t get one memory for each day of Christmas! But here are a few stories I remember of you from years gone by:

• Going for a photowalk last year at Cleveland Dam and, unbeknownst to me, you followed me in the snow – in your pyjamas! – and alerted me to your presence by starting a snowball fight

• Streeeeeettttccchhhhdog with Sierra and streeeeeettttccchhhhcat with Sparky
• Pulling up chairs and eating Mum’s collapsed cheesecake disaster straight out of the oven with forks
• Having you come out to visit me in rez at university
• Playing Battle Beasts and Micro Machines with you when we were kids
• Watching you play squash, tennis, basketball and all your other various sports over the years and being so proud of you and how well you did
• Your crazy expressions and songs that send us all into fits of giggles. Meow mix!

Merry Christmas Andrew and lots of love and big hugs from Canada! You are missed but we’re all very curious to hear what a hot Christmas is like from you.

Lots of love from your big sis XOX

Rage.

Some of my fondest and older memories of spending time with you are:
1. Building forts (including our hide-out in the storage room under the stairs)
2. Creating adventure sets for our kittens, out of boxes
3. Battle beasts, God I hated playing that game with you haha!!
4. You’d take me to the candy store and look after your little sis
5. Double bouncing madness on the trampoline
6. Tirelessly trying to find Mum’s hiding spots of junk food and Nintendo games

Some of my more recent fond ones include:
1. You naming Dad’s Siamese fighting fish “Rage”
2. Butter treats
3. Having you visit me at university… Homecoming pancake kegger!
4. Fondue in Whistler
5. Taking you on my Ninja!
6. Fresh snow on our front lawn and the ensuing snow angels and snow fight

12 memories; one for each day of Christmas!

Evidence of #6 in the list above

Um, more evidence.

I miss you today. Each year, I love how you give out presents to each of us from under the tree, tend the fire, and are just awesome being you!

This is so fun. Isn’t this fun? How fun is this? This is so much fun. Let’s continue the fun in T minus one hour. Check back at this blog again later. Fun fun fun!

Merry Christmas Andrew, love you a whole bunch
xo
Kels

Taste.

My baby brother Andrew

My brother is 27 years old; two and a half years’ my junior but probably twice as strong and has several inches on me. He has been working hard for the last couple of years to save all his pennies for a rainy day, and it turns out he’s really good at that and had enough for about 365 rainy days! So he has booked himself on a round-the-world, year-long trip. (Ok fine, that was his intention all along. I just liked how the rainy day thing sounded!) He left on December 6th on a flight that took off at 2 am. After a stopover in Hong Kong, he finally arrived in Melbourne after 40 hours and little to no sleep. He’s still in Australia, spending a decidedly un-white Christmas with cousins near Sydney, probably sunbathing on the deck and eating barbecue for lunch! And while we envy him this trip of a lifetime, we also really miss him. It’s the first Christmas he is spending away from us, so we wanted to do something nice for him.

But what to do for a backpacker with no space in his pack for presents? Well you hope he has a little sister like mine, who came up with the awesome idea of making him a “virtual stocking.” So we made him a little stocking card:

Which his hosts printed out and presented to him on Christmas morning. And it sent him on a little online treasure hunt to find cards, messages, photos and stories we’ve put on Teh Interwebz for him! By the time he finds this post, he will have already seen the card above, checked his email, opened a Christmas e-card and been directed to my blog.

So everyone, wish my brother a little Christmas love in the comments will ya?! Mum & Dad & Kelsey, this includes you!

Merry Christmas Andrew! Now go check your email again. Nope, not the travel account; the other one. Well, one of the other ones. You figure it out, it’s supposed to be a treasure hunt!! And come back to the blog starting at 11 am your time, we have Christmas stories for you coming later.

In 2000, I left my teenage years behind and entered my 20’s. I entered the decade asleep; I contracted a case of mononucleosis over the holidays that knocked me on my ass. Upon returning to university in January against doctor’s orders – afraid of falling behind in my schoolwork – I slept through all my classes and had to repeat the semester. I fell in love with the boy who became the boyfriend who became the yardstick against which I’ve measured all subsequent relationships. I took a job in London and moved there for what was meant to be a year, returning home after only 5 months. My time in Europe was wasted pining away for that boy in what is, to this day, one of my biggest regrets.

In 2001, I was a selfish girl who thought she knew how the world worked. Until I wasn’t; until two planes crashed into the World Trade Center and I spent a week sobbing in front of the TV news. I developed empathy.

In 2002, I took a summer job halfway up to Whistler in a place not serviced by public transit and without my own transportation. I bought a car out of necessity. Three weeks later in a fit of complete abandon, I quit my job and drove to a resort town, got another job, quit that job after another few weeks, and drove across the country to my boyfriend. I broke up with him for the first of many times 9 days after arriving.

In 2003, I finally learned that in order to get over someone you love, you cannot remain friends at first. I broke up with my boyfriend for the last time and cut off all contact with him. I graduated from university, completely terrified and exhilarated at the unknown future that lay before me, and moved back to Vancouver. I thought nobody would ever hire me for a “real” job. I went on my first date with a man who would eventually ask me to marry him out of a sense of obligation.

In 2004, someone did hire me for a real job and I started to believe I had value in the grown-up world of work. I fell in love and moved in with my future fiance, compromising everything I’d ever wanted for my own life in order to fit in with his, but I couldn’t quell the voice that told me I couldn’t trust him; I just ignored the feeling.

In 2005, while I excelled in my job, things became stagnant at home. The domestic bliss of playing house with my sweetie gave way to real life struggles: fights about the “in-laws”, disagreements about finances, exhaustion, and squabbles over whose turn it was to empty the dishwasher. The spark began to wane and was replaced with a vague sense of comfort and security. It wasn’t a good trade.

In 2006, I had learned everything I could from my job and became increasingly bored bored at work. Another company wooed me away with a brighter, shinier paycheck. That thrill lasted about five minutes into my first day. I became totally disillusioned with corporate life, and the magic disappeared entirely from my relationship, but I was in too deep a rut to notice. We got a puppy and I got the diamond ring I’d wanted so desperately, thinking it would solve all my problems.

In 2007, my new engagement incited the quiet but persistent voice inside my head to begin yelling in a panic that I was making a huge mistake. I tried to silence it by planning a beautiful wedding that nobody ever attended. I hated my job, my relationship, and my life but felt stuck. I have never felt so hopeless.

In 2008, I was unceremoniously dumped by my fiance who came to his senses and left me for another woman. I moved back in with my parents, lost my much-detested job, and was forced to climb out of the rut my life was in. I went travelling, started dating, made great friends, learned to trust my gut, and discovered that I am strong enough to hold it together no matter how overwhelmed I might be.

In 2009, I found a job in a terrible economy. I became grateful for a steady income and learned to do what is necessary for survival when it counts – and not to rely on a job for self-fulfillment. I made a difficult, life-changing decision in an awkward situation that I do not regret. I got my own apartment and I fell in love again. I lost my job again, but found another one that is so exciting, it rid me of my procrastination habit. While everyone else was complaining about how awful 2009 was, my challenges this year brought me back to life.

The next decade will bring my 30’s and for all the grumbling I do about the lines on my face, the grey hairs sprouting on my head and the spare tire settling around my midsection, I am actually welcoming it with open arms. Despite all the experiences I’ve been through this decade that have jaded me, I feel like a bright-eyed 20 year old again, ambitious and eager to see what the future holds. I can’t wait to find out.

The general sense of Today Sucks was contagious and by noon, everyone in my pod needed some comic relief. Enter my coworker, who is possibly the awesomest and most hilarious human being on the planet. She decided to let us in on a little secret of hers.

“So when I was getting divorced, it was this long drawn out process and I had to keep going back over to the house I owned jointly with the ex-hubby. And I needed something to look forward to about it, because it was hard. So you know what I did? Every time I went over there, I stole a pair of his socks. Or just one sock, whatever. I’d take the other one the next time I went back.

“So he would rant that the Stupid Mother Effing Washing Machine was eating his socks for snacks. Every time I went over he would complain! And every time I went over I would steal a new pair of socks and giggle to myself. And so he kept having to buy a new pair of socks, which thrilled me to my core. I must admit I took extra pleasure in stealing a pair of his NEW socks. It drove him extra nuts, so it was extra funny. This went on for MONTHS.

“When the divorce proceedings were too stressful, I would go for a walk to clear my head. And I would wear a pair of his socks for each walk. Best guilty pleasure ever.”

This honestly cracked me right up. Can you imagine if this actually happened to you? You’d think you were losing your mind!! I am not much of a prankster but I can’t help but find this one hilarious. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled?

Presh passed away two weeks ago in what was without a doubt the single hardest moment of my life.  When she was admitted to the hospital, we’d thought it was just going to be for a few minor things, but quickly it took a turn for the worse.  I’d been making an effort lately – trying to bring the fun to her.  I was determined to get over the fact I was mad at her body, frustrated she couldn’t keep up the spirit she’d once had.  I’d brought her puppies and was bringing her a dinner party when she ended up in the hospital.

I don’t know why, but as I drove to the hospital on Saturday night, I knew that this was it.  And that night I never left her side.  She couldn’t speak but I think she could hear me as I whispered what she’d shared with me, as I cried into her hand and as I did the last thing I could for her in telling her to go when she was ready.  Her eyes would find me in that room, and thodugh I could see the fear, I could also see the love.  Through that night, we revisited our life together, and I held her hand tightly. She would wake up about every couple of hours as the pain medication wore off and I would ring the nurse, certain that we had to make her feel better, that I had to make her feel better – certain that it was my turn to show her I could take care of her.

Monday, she was still hanging on and I was breaking down.  Suddenly, in a rare turn of events, I was left alone.  I knew she would never wake up again and I knew that I was going forward without her.  I felt desperately alone and wanted so badly for this not to be it – not to be the moment I’d dreaded for years.  I sat back in the chair and softly sang to her the Northwest Passage song, and somehow in that moment, I knew that she hadn’t left me alone. This was her last lesson to me: I could make it on my own, but I would always have a part of her in my sister and mom. She’d shared with me what she knew, taught me what she could and loved me in a way that could never be duplicated.  As I finished singing, I told her it was ok, that while I wouldn’t be with her, I’d have my mom and my sister, and we would watch out for each other.  I told her it was ok, that I would be ok, to wait just one more hour for my cousin Jaime and then to go – and for the first time ever, she listened to me without one of us being sarcastic.

Keitha White (June 17 1925-Nov 30 2009)