Saturday, May 19
1:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.
Nashville Public Library Courtyard
The event is free and for all ages

Come join the fun as Mayor Karl Dean will kick off his “Share a Book” reading campaign in the Main Library outdoor courtyard.

The lineup will include Wishing Chair Production’s “Ultimate Goose” puppet show at 1:00 p.m. and visits from a Nashville Predators player and the Nashville Sounds mascot, Ozzie. Representatives from Books from Birth of Middle Tennessee, Ride for Reading bicycle crew, Book ‘em and the Nashville Adult Literacy Council also will attend. Mayor Dean will speak at 1:30 p.m. (read more…)

“Share A Book” Family Fest is a post from: All About Women

For Mother’s Day we asked that you send us your memories of special times with your mother or your favorite stories. Here they are and we are still looking for more. Send us your tribute to your mother at admin@allaboutwomen.org.

I grew up in the era of Father Knows Best. It was one of my favorite TV shows and my favorite character was Kathy – the youngest daughter. I saw a show where Kathy came running into the house excited that she had advanced a grade in school. When I finished first grade I came running into the kitchen yelling “I passed!” My mother looked at me and said “Didn’t you think you would pass?” I was crushed that she hadn’t gotten excited and didn’t congratulate me. She must have seen the disappointment on my face because she quickly gave me a hug, took the chocolate chip cookies she had been baking out of the oven, and called in my siblings to have a celebration. As I got older I realized how silly I had been but always remembered how my mother quickly turned disappointment into a celebration. My mother is gone now but I still remember that celebration when I was 6 years old. PSF

As I await the birth of my first child I wonder what kind of mother I will be. I remember the patience my mother had with me. Although I don’t remember learning to ride a bike, I have seen the videos of my mother running beside the bicycle so I would’t hurt myself. I do remember her teaching me to drive. It must have been a very scary thing for her but she showed such calm and composure when I took over the wheel. She never ridiculed the horrible makeup or hair styles but was there to help me make changes when I realized I needed a change. She is patient with me now when I ask a million questions about having a baby. My mother had three children and always had time for each one of us. Thanks, Mom! I hope I can do as good a job as you have done. Love you. KS

We drove you crazy! Now, we’re back!!! We’re moving back to Nashville. See you on Mother’s Day! JW and DW

Thanks, Mom, for all the years you cooked, cleaned, dried tears, sewed clothes, cleaned house, made school lunches, baked cupcakes, threw birthday parties, listened, insisted I did my homework, ironed my clothes, worked outside the home, went to plays and concerts, listened, drove me to practices, cheered me on at games, listened, and listened. You did so much more and I can’t list it all. You know all the things you have done for me. Love you. Happy Mother’s Day! TB

It couldn’t have been easy being a single mother to twins. I don’t know if I could do it. Mama, you raised the two of us by yourself. Sometimes you worked two jobs to make sure we got what we needed for school. Throughout it all you made sure we knew we were loved and we were special. This spring we both graduate from college. Now, mama, it is time for you to rest and let us take care of you. Happy Mother’s Day. GS & MS

Favorite Stories About Our Mothers is a post from: All About Women

Mothers do things out of love
Never imagining that what they do
May become unforgettable memories
In the hearts of their children.
- Author Unknown

When God Made Moms
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said “Why are you spending so much time on this one”? And the Lord answered and said, “Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.”

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. “Six pairs of hands! No Way!” said the Angel.

The Lord replied, “Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!”

“And that’s just on the standard model?” The Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, “Yes, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.”

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. “This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“But I can’t!” the Lord protested, “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower.”

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

“Yes, she is soft”, the Lord agreed, “But I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?”, asked the inquisitive Angel.

The Lord smiled and replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.”

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak.” The Lord objected. “That is a tear!”

“What’s the tear for? the Angel asked.

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.”

The Angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Truly, You do all things well… Moms are truly amazing!”

Happy Mother’s Day!

..Erma Bombeck

Mother’s Day Thoughts is a post from: All About Women

Writer Ellen Margulies

Last fall, everything changed for my family.

My father came down with a cold one Saturday. Within a week, he had developed pneumonia. Followed by a serious lung infection. Followed by blood transfusions and ultimately chemotherapy as the leukemia his body had harbored for years suddenly roared to life. In between his hospitalizations, my mother took a tumble at work and fell flat on her face. She ended up in the hospital overnight. Within two weeks, this woman who had spent her working life in retail, climbing up and down ladders and standing on her feet for eight hours at a stretch, could no longer walk or even feed herself without assistance. She had a spinal cord injury, aggravated by the fall but caused by a degenerative neck disease that left her vertebrae crumbling in one on another and crushing the pathway between her brain and her body. Without major surgery, she faced near total paralysis. Even with the surgery, doctors  couldn’t guarantee how much mobility she might regain.

My mother’s condition has meant months in the hospital and a rehab facility (a.k.a. nursing home). My father’s situation has meant he couldn’t even visit his wife of 52 years because his immune system is so compromised that his oncologist didn’t think he could risk it.

So within the past six months, everything has changed. For my parents, the changes have meant they must endure the indignities and outrages of age and illness and infirmity. For my siblings and me, it has meant something different.

Life has taken on a surreal quality. I find myself surfing these crazy ups and downs. There are days when we think some surgical procedure or treatment is changing the big picture. Days when I drive out to my father’s house for lunch and he actually eats. Days when I visit my mother in the hospital and she’s chipper and upbeat. Then there are those other days – days when my father’s chemo treatments have to be delayed because his white count is out of control and he has to get a blood transfusion instead, days when my mother becomes uncharacteristically despondent as she faces yet another post-surgery complication that requires yet another procedure.

Days when I realize that she’s 76, he’s 78, and there’s only so much better they’re going to get. Those days fill me with dread.

I find myself feeling guilty, angry, resentful, afraid. Although my sisters and I have divided up the visiting and chores, we are all exhausted. I struggle with my own distaste of the gritty low-down ugliness of tubes and IVs and bodily functions and a thousand other things I never wanted to think about, much less witness.

I use different M.O.s with each parent. With my father, I am relentlessly cheerful as we chat daily about politics and the economy and indulge in gallows humor about his dwindling frame. My father is not an emotional person; I know he’s having a bad day when he’s literally too tired to talk for more than five minutes, when he tells me he loves me before he hangs up the phone. With my mother, I bounce between inane chatter, picking a fight or complaining about my own petty problems to give her something to prod me about. She is happiest when she has someone to care for, some project to oversee. I feel like it helps her in some small way to think beyond the hospital walls or the machines she’s hooked up to when I can BE that project.

Arguing is sort of part of our language. Mothers know how to push buttons – they’re the ones who created them, right? Although, really, it’s just part of my stubborn refusal to admit that I will have to be more of a parent than a child to her, that our roles are going to continue their reversal, that things will truly never be the same again. I always feel tremendous guilt afterward, of course. What kind of person picks a fight with a woman in the hospital? Not a very good one.

The other thing that has changed in these calamitous months has been my view of myself. I do not have the right stuff to be a patient unselfish caretaker. I might spend all day Saturday with my father, but not all day Sunday, too. I’ll visit my mother in the hospital after work a couple of times during the week, but not every night. I cannot avoid comparing myself to friends in similar situations. J. fed her and bathed her mother and nursed her for years. She never questioned whether she should do it, never agonized over the decision – for her, it was simply a given. My friend G., who was unsuccessful in convincing her mother to move closer, makes a 4-hour round trip to care for her emotionally fragile mother every weekend. Every. Weekend. Going on something like 10 years now.

I have had to face the fact that I cannot be that devoted. It is an ugly thing to realize about yourself, but as much as I love my parents, there’s only so much of my life I’m willing – or able – to give up. My own emotional and physical health has taken a beating from the stress of this situation. Since my parents have fallen so ill, I’ve been strapped to a heart monitor and checked for tongue cancer and suffered from chronic insomnia and fatigue. The diagnosis is the same for everything: Stress.
But I’ve been lucky. I have siblings to share the load. My boyfriend, my friends, my coworkers have been unfailingly supportive, as if I were the one who needed caring for. I don’t know what happens when someone doesn’t have the support system I do.

On my own better days, I try to remind myself that I cannot control my parents’ situation. I know it is normal to feel angry and afraid and all of those other emotions I shouldn’t even admit to, much less experience. And although I seem to be unable to literally give it all I’ve got, I do know that I am giving all I can. Either way, it simply wouldn’t be enough.

Expert Elizabeth Moss, LPN answers your questions.

All the above information has been reviewed by this week’s expert.

When Caregiving Takes You To The Limit is a post from: All About Women

Q:I feel like I am always running to take one of my parents to the doctor, do their grocery shopping, or clean their house and do their laundry. There isn’t enough time to take care of my own house and family. I love them both but I am at my wits end. They don’t have any retirement except social security and I don’t have any extra money. Is there anyone in Nashville that can help?

A:Yes, there is help available. I would recommend talking with an Elder Law Attorney first. They can help you determine what the appropriate financial avenues are for your parents specific situation. Next you might want to consider qualifying for the CHOICES program which is a state Medicaid program providing Home & Community Based services for elders “in their home”.

There are some resources available for paying for care when elders have some assets that need to be spent prior to qualifying for Medicaid. One of those options are Reverse Mortages and the other is selling a portion of someone’s Life Insurance policy to pay for care.

Q:My mother, who is 87, lives by herself and still drives. Her reaction time isn’t as good as it used to be and I can see scratches and dents on her car where she has hit objects. What is the best way to approach the fact that she shouldn’t be driving?

A:The first step is to discuss your concerns with your Mom. Let her know you care and have noticed the evidence of mishaps on her car. Then, depending on her response to you, you might need to move forward with some other conversations. The first concern, of course, is to preserve her safety and dignity. This usually isn’t a cut and dried situation and considering all of the factors, it is important for all of us to have access to our communities so transportation services will need to be considered.

This is not an easy subject matter. It is, however, easier with some people than others and typically it is easier with women than men. You may need to consider the medications your mother is taking; there are limitations with several medications. Certain medications or combinations of medications can affect senses and reflexes. Always check the label on medications and double check with your mother’s healthcare team if she is taking several medications or if she notices a difference after starting a new medication. Her Pharmacist can help you determine if your Mom is on any medicines that compromise her driving safety and skills. If there is a diagnosis of any type of Dementia then there are some other considerations. Ask her Physician and/or Pharmacist about this.

Some questions to ask are what other modes of transportation are available? Is there public access, neighbors who are willing to volunteer to help or local churches that provide some level of transportation? Home Care agencies do provide transportation services on an individual’s chosen schedule. Many of these agencies will drive the client’s vehicle if needed or the caregiver can drive their own car. Mileage will be a consideration.

If retiring one’s driving privileges is the appropriate step, there are local Driving Coaches available who will meet with the elder, assess the individual situation and make a determination together. You can visit this site to learn more. AARP also offers a driving evaluation for elders. There is a charge for this program and they have local events at times. Or you can talk with your mother’s Physician. Once an order to stop driving has been written, it is illegal for the elder to drive.

Q:Dad has Alzheimer’s disease. He is living with us but it is getting harder to take care of him. What are my alternatives?

A:There are several alternatives. However there are a few questions to answer first. What are your Dad’s wishes? Have you discussed this with him? What kind of family support is in place? What are the financial resources that are available?

Then, depending on the answers to those questions, the various care opportunities are Home Care, Adult Day Care, Assisted Living with a Memory Care community, or Nursing Home care. There are several local options. You might want to consider a Geriatric Care Manager (GCM) to help with an assessment of your Dad’s unique situation. A GCM is a Registered Nurse or Social Worker who will do a comprehensive assessment and make recommendations to you. They can provide an ongoing service as a Consultant to the family acting as an advocate for you and be a liaison for your medical team.

The various levels of care for Alzheimer’s are offered in most local communities and learning about each one can be extremely time consuming. The GCM can also provide this research and narrow the number of visits for you when making a decision on Home care or a particular community.

Have a question for our expert? This line is open until Friday, May 4th. Our expert will then answer the top questions and we’ll post their answers right here and on our Facebook page.

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When Caregiving Takes You To The Limit is a post from: All About Women

National Women’s Health Week is a weeklong health observance coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health. It brings together communities, businesses, government, health organizations, and other groups in an effort to promote women’s health. The theme for 2012 is “It’s Your Time.” National Women’s Health Week empowers women to make their health a top priority. It also encourages women to take the following steps to improve their physical and mental health and lower their risks of certain diseases:

Visit a health care professional to receive regular checkups and preventive screenings.
Get active.
Eat healthy.
Pay attention to mental health, including getting enough sleep and managing stress.
Avoid unhealthy behaviors, such as smoking and not wearing a seatbelt or bicycle helmet.

Learn more about National Women’s Health Week.

National Women’s Health Week is a post from: All About Women

Now, it’s your chance to vote for your favorite video! Vote for your favorites until Friday, May 11th.

Join the Let’s Move! movement today.

Let’s Move! Video Challenge is a post from: All About Women

This is your chance to have a great day of family-friendly fun while also engaging in physical activity on LP Field with the Titans! Following the Mayor’s Health Initiatives of 2011, the Mayor is hosting a FREE city-wide field day on LP Field.

Promoting healthy living should have a strong focus on Fun! For some of us, fun may be going for a walk in one of our parks or riding a bike on one of Nashville’s greenways by yourself or with friends and family. For others, fun could be an intense physical activity or playing a sport. If an activity isn’t fun, then you may not want to continue it.

Mayor’s Field Day is designed to have something fun for everyone. The day will concentrate on low intensity games and relays that anyone from all fitness levels should be able to participate in.

Mayor’s Field Day aims to highlight fun opportunities for physical activity in Nashville, and promotes communities and family togetherness during the process. Nashvillians and Titans fans are extremely excited to take advantage of this unique opportunity to play with the Titans on LP Field.

See you on the field May 5! Register now at: www.MayorsFieldDay.com

Mayor’s Field Day is a post from: All About Women

Writer Pam Coyle

By Pam Coyle

This piece on getting organized for spring cleaning was due a month ago but I was too unorganized to pull it off.
 
I wish I made that up because it sounded clever but it is painfully true.
 
Throwing more random stuff in the attic, or basement, or closet, or storage shed, would have been very, very easy with Easter, Passover and other spring holidays behind us. “Oops, too late, maybe next year.”
 
But it is never too late to work toward making our homes and ourselves healthier. So I am starting. Again. For me, cleaning is the easy part. Bringing order to the stuff that is on top of the dirt is the hard part. But much like shouting New Year’s resolutions, tackling “Spring Cleaning” means little without maintenance. A clutter-filled house will, without some new rules and a system in place, fill up with clutter faster than you can say, “Is that a new episode of ‘Hoarders?’”
 
Tanna Clark, a professional organizer, stresses maintenance when she works with clients. It does not take her long to figure out whether an individual, couple or family wants to make changes.
 
“I can usually tell when I walk into a house,”  she says. “If they say, ‘I want to get organized but I am not going to get rid of anything,’ they usually aren’t ready.”
 
She uses the time-tested three-bin method: keep, donate/sell, trash. “Once you make that decision, get it out of the house as soon as possible,” Tanna says. “All clutter is is delayed decisions. You don’t want to think about it. It has to be a constant process.”
 
Keep boxes for trash and donations in closets. Impose a household rule that a new toy can come home if an old one departs. Think about why saving some items is important – if they aren’t displayed but trigger pleasant family memories, consider taking photos and starting a journal to give the next generation not only the object but the context.
 
“I stress to more people now with the memorabilia they keep in boxes that the next generation has no idea why it is important,” she says. “They don’t have the stories. Start taking pictures and keep a journal of what these people did and the memories you have.”
 
“Complete Organization Solutions” is the name of Tanna’s company and she tailors solutions for each household. What works for one family won’t for another. A few basic rules apply across the board, though: Do more instead of thinking about it; weed and sort BEFORE buying containers; and maintain the order by rotating displayed items and sticking to a system.
 
Don’t wait to get started – or start again if need be.
 
“Today is a new day,” Tanna says.

Expert Tanna Clark answers your questions.

All the above information has been reviewed by this week’s expert.

Get Organized Before Spring Cleaning? is a post from: All About Women

Tanna Clark

As “Chief Organizing Officer” of Complete Organizing Solutions it is Tanna’s mission to help people reach their organizing potential. Tanna is passionate about helping busy families of all sizes create order by simplifying their lives. Organizing is not “one size fits all” and Tanna shares that concept with her clients as she creates systems that will help them get organized once and for all.

Tanna knew she was different from a very early age. “My grandmother called it plundering. As a child I would go through drawers, pulling things out, rearranging them, and putting them back in a neat and orderly fashion.”

Every fall, while her friends bemoaned the end of summer, Tanna was secretly rejoicing in her favorite time of year. The season for…School Supplies! Tidy stacks of pencils and perfect boxes of markers. Orderly rows of glue sticks, fresh stacks of paper and notebooks – Tanna would wander the aisles, examining the newest products and storage options, and planning how to organize her school work for the year.

Realizing that organizing was indeed her niche in life, Tanna wanted to use that passion to help others and in 2006 Complete Organizing Solutions was formed. Tanna provides quality organizing services along with time, money and energy-saving solutions specifically designed for her clients’ needs so that they may enjoy a more relaxed and productive life!

Get Organized Before Spring Cleaning? is a post from: All About Women