Start of a journey – highest weight ever

A little over two years ago I began a journey toward a healthier life.  I started with bariatric surgery (lap band).  There were many challenges after the surgery, some related to my eating habits and some just related to being so out of shape for so long.  I struggled with what to eat and how much to eat.  At first things went quite smoothly…in less than two months I was down 30 lbs.  I got a bit cocky about things, complacent about getting to the gym and slipping into some old habits, like stopping on the way home from work for a “small” bag of chips.  I managed to keep the weight off, but was not really committed to making the changes I needed to make.

What made me change my ways?  Social Media!  Yup, good old Facebook and some really determined folks in the Baltimore bariatric community helped me refocus and get with the program.  My trainer told me about a private group on Facebook called Maryland Area WL Support Group.  Started by a group from one of the local hospitals, the group gave me two things I was really missing, a support system and friends.

One of the hardest things to deal with when you’ve had a bariatric procedure is how differently you need to eat.  It’s not so much what you eat as how you eat that is different.  I need to take small bites, chew them really well and take my time eating my meal.  I also do not drink when I eat…so no wine with dinner :(.  Oh I still have my libations, I just have them before or after eating. The members of the group understand these issues and no one sits there tapping their fingers waiting for me to finish my food.  We all eat much more slowly, savoring each and every bite we take.

down 70 lbs

Beyond the group on FB, I found others to do things with.  I participated in a “Couch to 5K Challenge,” started meeting people after work for drinks and weekend hikes.  We organized events through the group (social media makes this so easy to do).  Everything from apple picking to paint ball to taking a zip line ride were hosted by different members of FB group.  Believe it or not, many of us wanted to try zip lining but were afraid to prior to our weight loss. Daily posts on the group site give encouragement, provide an outlet for boasting about victories or bemoaning challenges, and a place to ask for advice and help.  Best of all, I have a social life again.

Down 84 pounds since this journey began,  I still go to the gym and feel guilty if I skip a day of cardio workout.  I’m now thinking about dating and talk about the dating challenges ahead. Do you tell someone you were heavy? What about all that loose skin hanging on your body? To plastic surgery or not to plastic surgery, no question here…I’m gonna get this excess skin removed as soon as I reach my target weight.  Best thing about this new group of folks is that we are a group of friends, men and women, who just get it.

Is bariatric surgery for everyone, probably not. Will social media solve all my problems, I’m sure not.  But with exercise, diet and a really good group of friends, actual and virtual, I can keep living a healthy life.

The post Living A Healthy Life – How Social Media Saved Me appeared first on All The Single Girlfriends.

Best extractor ever!

Since my bariatric lap band surgery I’ve been eating a more vegetarian and gluten free diet.

I’m a die-hard carnivore, but I have to admit, I feel better eating much less gluten (read starches like pasta, bread, even potatoes) and meat.   How have I incorporated this into my relationship with food?  First thing I did was buy one of those NutriBullets.

My personal trainer suggested it and OMG! I love this appliance. I blend together a morning “green” smoothie to start my day.

Morning Green Smoothie

Ingredients

Using 2 small handfuls of baby spinach, 1/2 a frozen banana, either some berries or 1/2 an apple, 1 TBL each of flax seeds and sunflower seeds, and water

I also toss in any vitamin supplements so it’s super charged. You can add any fruits, greens, nuts, seeds or veggies you like.  I’ve used avocado, including the pit, kale (not my favorite) and carrots. Really get creative and see what you like.

Directions

Blend!

At first I was not sure I’d like it, but it’s delicious and really keeps me feeling full.  I drink my smoothie while driving into work.  I also take along a little cup of hummus to have as a mid-morning snack.  Together, these two things keep me hunger-free until my 12:30 lunch.

Doing this, I’ve lost over 50 lbs. in 7 months, feel great and have lots of energy.  Being laid-up for the past 4-weeks (see post from 2/13), I believe this has kept me from putting on any weight and may even have helped me continue to drop a few pounds, not an easy feat when you cannot exercise.

So my call to atsGf followers and friends is to let me know of good cookbooks, recipes and articles on vegetarian or vegan ways.  I’m NOT giving up my omnivorous ways, and it’s not a philosophical thing for me;  it’s about feeling better, healthier and eating more sustainably.

Next installment will look at how women are hunting and gathering their own food.

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My beautiful air cast

I recently had the pleasure of undergoing surgery on my torn Achilles tendon.

The upside of the surgery is that I will be able to get back to all the things I love doing (hiking, kayaking, skiing).  The downside, I’ve had to spend the past 4 weeks either in bed or chair with my foot elevated (toes higher than nose, as they say).

It all started years ago when I underwent surgery to fix a completely torn meniscus in my knee.  You’d think that would fix things, right?  Well, I was one of the 40 million who had little to no health insurance and what I did have would not cover PT unless it was post surgery.  That’s why I had the knee operated on in the first place, even through the doctor recommended PT first.

Toward the end of that rehab, my tendon began to bother me but there was nothing I could do about it.  So I followed the advice of the therapist and rested, iced and generally babied the foot.  Fast forward 2 years and the pain had grown to the point that I could barely walk.  Fortunately, my health insurance situation changed when the Part-time job I took came with benefits and allowed me to focus on getting my foot tended to.  Two years after that, having tried everything the orthopedist recommend it came down to surgery. 

I tell you this tale as a way to say that we really need to do something about the health care situation in this country.

I could have avoided two rather difficult surgeries had I been able to get PT or wellness care as part of the limited insurance I had.  Now I’ve cost my fellow insurees this surgery and cost myself 6 weeks without work, limited pay, and reliance on my sister to take care of me.  I cannot drive, walk or even take a shower without assistance until I’m given the all clear.  I start PT this week and it will be at least 6 more weeks before I will be released to put full weight on my foot. It will be a total of 4 months before I get to have some of my life back and another couple of months before I’m 100% (that’s hopefully 100% as you never know how you’ll rehab).

I’m self-employed and finding a contract that has allowed me to have benefits is amazingly fabulous.  I wonder how other self-employed, solo businesswomen are dealing the the health care issues.  Especially give our demographic.

What do you do to insure you stay healthy and have the coverage you need?

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On the surface they covered the range from surprising and hopeful, to difficult to scary. On the plus side: I gained increasing comfort with my new role as Executive Director of an organization whose mission is to help people age positively and creatively; I taught 3 new courses made several new friends, and have a stronger sense of myself as both a Leader and an Elder.

The more difficult events included a surgery to remove a basal cell carcinoma from my chin that was more invasive and more noticeable than I anticipated and my sweet 2006 Honda being totaled by a distracted person who ran a red light. The cancer is gone and I wasn’t hurt, both contributed to a strong feeling of “survivor’s mission.”

And I turned 70. I am still vainly pleased that I don’t ‘look’ 70 –whatever that means. I know I am healthier, more fit, more engaged and, in some ways, more free than I have felt anytime in the past.

The spectrum of change reminds me of some of the basic principles I teach in my course on Positive Psychology. The things that make me happy are not about what happened, but about how I respond to them. I can dwell on the hard things – we humans are hard-wired to pay attention to the negative – but the real challenge is to acknowledge the positive as well.

My resolution for the coming year is to really embody and notice the 10 elements of  Positivity described by Barbara Frederickson in her book Positivity: Joy, Gratitude, Serenity, Hope, Interest, Pride, Inspiration, Amusement, Awe, and Love.

Even spending a moment or two with each concept changes my attitude.  I invite you all to ask yourself what they mean in your life and see what happens.

Happy New Year!

Graphic thanks: Factory 900 Stained Glass Window Sunglasses

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My second breast biopsy came back negative. That is despite the fact that breast/colon cancer tends to cluster in families and that it does in my family. My eyes are okay. My teeth, at least the ones which matter, are keeps, for the current time.

I also have learned to make friends, something I initially got the hang of in the Single Girlfriends. As we Baby Boomers used to say in our youth, “My dance card is full.” People are coming into my life, rather than my chasing them. Toby Bloomberg helped make this possible. Thanks, Toby.

In addition, my business is going along fine. I have reconfigured it from the focus on social media (no $, big glut) back to my original branding in executive communications (ghostwriting/speechwriting). Yes, we can change, at any age. We can also bypass regret. Who, after all, is keeping track?

And, in my eight-week online program on financial reporting, funded by McGraw-Hill, I have learned that many different cultures and individuals define “wealth” in idiosyncratic ways. For example, for some Latinos in America “wealth” means a healthy family whose members stick together. I was awarded a place in the program because of my proposal for covering the 66+ demographic. The question I want to explore is how we aging have come to define “wealth.” For me it has become the abundance of opportunities to learn. And learn I have in 2012.

I wish each Single Girlfriend the ability to live 2013 on your own terms.
No one will every again push us to conform to what doesn’t fit.

Graphic thanks: Allergy Kids

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However, as  I watch the rain drops fall (and think thank goodness it’s not snowing in Atlanta!)  it seems like I’ve been given a small gift to begin the new year. With the gray clouds overhead today I don’t feel a need to go and do. There will be time to think about that  in the 364 days to come.

Today is for taking a small breath, to listen to the quiet, to be satisfied with the now without the pressure of achieving goals. There will be time to think about that in the 364 days to come.

Happiness comes in unexpected ways. Today it’s a rain drop. Tomorrow it might be something that drives career success or the nurturing of  friendships. There will be time to think about that  in the 364 days to come.

As the unknown of the next 364 days await there is a sense of apprehension mixed with excitement; so today, especially, Helen Keller’s words resonate with me.

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.  – Helen Keller

As you open the door to your 2013, I offer a toast to you for a year where you keep happiness on your terms .. for the next 364 days and beyond.

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“You should be in control of the project” is one of those ominous statements I dread hearing from any CEO.  That usually precedes the coming of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  When a CEO tells me that, it means a project has gone awry somewhere.  Worse, it has become an unholy mess.  If I want to survive the Spanish Inquisition, I better know exactly what caused it to disintegrate before the CEO even calls for me.

“What will you do about it?” is the question that triggers nightmares and seizures in even the most hardened marketer.   Unfortunately, in marketing, that is the perennial question we all have to answer on a daily basis.

You do not answer that question with “let me think about it first.”  To begin with, you should have been aware of the problem long before your CEO gets wind of it.  The marketer who finds out about the problem from her CEO is a marketer who is not doing her job.  It is your job to know a campaign is having issues, not your CEO’s.  It is your duty to report that issue to your CEO, not the other way around.

Most of all, it is your responsibility to provide a solution upon reporting the situation to your CEO.  You do not go to him telling him a campaign has hit a roadblock and, then, nothing.  The CEO’s role is to approve or disapprove your proposed plan.  It is not to think of one while you stand there evaluating the interior design of his office.

Therefore, “let me think about it first” has no place in this scenario.

This kind of occupational hazard has wired most marketers to think on their feet.  We are trained to come up with viable and realistic solutions at the exact moment problems arise.  It is one thing to say we need time to iron out the details, quite another to say we have no ideas at all.  Or worse, we don’t know what to do yet.  The marketer who cannot hit the ground running is a marketer in need of a new career.

But, while that trait will serve you well in your marketing career, it may not do the same for your personal relationships.

As a marketer, it is deeply ingrained in me to come up with an immediate answer whenever I look at sales reports and financial statements, the holy grails of marketing.   “Immediate” is the operative word.

Markets will not wait for me to finish my coffee.  They’ll go on to buy the next product that is available to them when they need or want it.  Competition is not going to slow down just because I’m having a surgery.  They’re going to attempt to obliterate my product and who cares if I’m having a heart transplant.  A brand crisis is not going to be put on hold all because Sleeping Beauty is still, well, sleeping.  And while ceasefires happen due to the holidays, the marketing world continues to wage war for market share precisely because it is the holidays.

This sense of urgency and immediacy, then, can wreck havoc on your own personal relationships.

I get annoyed when family and friends are confronted with a problem and cannot find a solution for it in less than an hour.  “I don’t know what to say” is a concept that confuses me because my marketing training requires I should always know what to say.  I have no patience with silence even though I know that, for many people, they need silence first to mull over the problem in order to find a way to fix it.  Maybe because, in marketing, we are expected to process issues the moment they happen.

As Christmas approaches, perhaps the best gift I can give to my loved ones and the people I value is the gift of patience.  The willingness to wait, the ability to respect their space, the generosity of time, the understanding that different strokes work for different folks and the grace to accept that all creatures – great and small – are not made the same.

Just in case, though, I already placed an order for boxes of cookies and cupcakes.  A brilliant marketer always has a Plan B.

The post The Marketing Girl’s Christmas Gift appeared first on All The Single Girlfriends.

It’s what I’m taking to my daughter’s party this year. She has taken on the role of Chanukah Party Provider and I get to contribute but not do it all. Let’s hear it for generational traditions! You can check it out.

This year I have a different strategy. I am hosting smaller gatherings with just the people who can sit around my table and share stories. My first gathering set a new approach to feeding a crowd that is worth sharing. I made a Moroccan style fish stew and realized the sauce could easily be used for other proteins ranging from lamb or chicken to eggs or chickpeas

It’s the same concept as the big pot of Spaghetti Sauce that simmered for a few hours and then waited for the pasta to be done at the last moment.  But this is more like a thick soup that mellows from cooking and letting the flavors blend. Then the protein of choice can be used with it.

 Moroccan All Purpose Sauce

 Ingredients

1 ½ fennel bulbs

4-6 cloves garlic

1 large onion

1 red, orange or yellow pepper

¼ C.  Olive oil

2 t. ground cumin

2 t. ground cinnamon

1 t. paprika

¼ t. red pepper flakes or 1 t hot sauce (or to taste)

Salt & Pepper

1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes

1 ½ C. red wine

1 ½ C. orange juice

2-4 T sugar

1 10 oz. jar green olives with pimentos – sliced in processor

Protein of your choosing fish, chicken, lamb

¼ C. preserved lemons (see recipe below)

 Directions

• Pulse vegetables in processor until coarsely chopped.
• Heat oil in large Dutch oven; Sautee vegetables in oil until wilted
• Add spices and let cook until they become fragrant and integrated with the vegetables
• Add liquids – if you don’t have any leftover wine, you can add more orange juice or more tomatoes
• When everything has cooked down and blended, add sliced olives and preserved lemons
• Let cook for half an hour to an hour.  Turn off and let flavors blend for several hours or overnight in refrigerator
• Heat sauce before adding protein.
  • Add 2 pounds firm white fish cut into large chunks – I used frozen Mahi Mahi pieces from Trader Joe’s. Let it cook until fish is opaque
  • For lamb or chicken, add meat in pieces and cook until tender. That will depend on size of pieces – simmering for an hour should work.
• Serve with couscous or with good bread for dipping

Mark Bittman’s ‘Instant’ Preserved Lemons

Ingredients

4 organic lemons or Meyers lemons  (wash lemons well)

1 or 1½ T salt

2 T sugar

 Directions

• Slice lemons in ¼ inch slices and remove all seeds. Dice lemon slices and put in bowl or jar. Add salt and sugar and mix well.
• Leave lemons out for up to 3 hours and then refrigerate.  They can be used right away and keep for several weeks.
• They can be used in salads, soups, stews, over fish or vegetables. Anywhere you want a bright hit of flavor

Thanks to Jessica Robyn for the image

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Once Randy dies, that’s it.  No more pets.”

That’s what my 64-year-old neighbor told me several months ago.  I agreed.

Last February I had to put to sleep my Havana Brown feline Carlotta.  It was horrific for me and worse for her soulmate black coal feline Jason.  I vowed that when Jason, who is 17, passes over, that’s it. No more animal companions. I could not get through pet grief again.

Also, I have seen what happens too often to pets when their “parent” dies.  Relatives tend to drop them off at the shelter or even let them run loose on the street, despite the legal contract of the will which specified and funded the care instructions.

That was that. This summer Randy, an exotic bird, had to be put down because his injury was not healing.  We all grieved. Then my neighbor began planning her life, which included travel, now that she is “pet-free.” That looked pretty good to the rest of us.

Then, in THE NEWYORK TIMES MAGAZINE, on July 29, 2012, some of my Baby Boomer circle of friends noticed a piece advising the aging to start new pet families after their last animal companion passes on.  Leader of the mission is Bob Vetere, president of the American Pet Products Association.  His message includes the health benefits to us humans from the companionship.

Thrown for a loop, I discussed this with a friend who is a member of the Silent Generation.  I assumed she would be sympathetic with the reasons why I didn’t want to adopt again. Her response: There are so many cats and dogs which need homes.

Maybe All The Single Girlfriends can help me with this one.

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The conversation has been launched ladies on re-defining the New Face Beauty!

While this conversation has been in my mind over the last 20 years, I first started writing about it this past April in response to Ashley Judd’s outcry against the media for their gross representation of her weight and looks.

Graphic credit via MoveOn.org

It was my first commentary against the media for their portrayal of what beauty is and should be based on their reporting, reality TV, and the movie industry in general.

Since then I’ve written 2 more posts on what we can do about it, and the fashion industries part in this conversation.  I suspect there are many more in the works. Why is this an important subject for me personally as well as socially?

Growing up I lived in a household with 4 women (including my mother) and one man (my father). It was a household fraught with issues around food, with reactions by parents raised in Germany during WWII and during the depression, to three girls with self image issues that spawned various bout’s with eating disorders.

My first job in high school was of course…in the fashion industry…sales at the Limited, and from there I moved into 15 years as a trend director and product developer, attending fashion shows in Paris, London, Milan and NYC at least twice per year for those 15 years! And yes, I never thought myself “good enough”! Even as a tall, svelte and very thin young woman.

Too many of us have this conversation!-image via dying is easier than surviving on Tumblr

Since my stint in the fashion world the size of America has gone up, and the size of the models and actresses has gone down!

So why am I speaking up now? I am a grandmother of the worlds smartest and most beautiful little girl! She is almost 3, and personally…I don’t want her to grow up hearing this message that youth and overly thin is the definition of beauty!

image via Baby Industries

That’s why I am so glad that All the Single Girlfriends have picked up the torch and are running with the conversation! Bravo girlfriends.

So, what do you think? Is this an important conversation for you, your friends, your mother, daughter, niece, daughter-in-law, sister, and granddaughter to be having? What will you do to carry on the torch? Tell me, I’d love to hear your thoughts! After all, we are in this together. And yes, WE can make a difference!

Be sure to check out All the Single Girlfriends pins on Pinterest, especially our  New Face of Beauty Pinterest Board. See you there.

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