All About Women | Women

Vitamin H is for Happy!

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 10:17:00 +0000

“Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it.” ~ Jacques Prévert

”If you want to be happy, be.” ~ Leo Tolstoy

Happiness is a choice. Stop looking outside for someone or something else to make you happy. Happiness is an inside job.

Just for today, decide to be happy!

Vitamin G is for Grateful

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 10:11:00 +0000

“Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Okay, you knew this was coming, didn’t you? So what else is there left to say? Just be grateful!

Vitamin F is for FUN!

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:11:00 +0000

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Now this is right up my alley! I am about having fun! Now, I hear some of you serious types saying we have to work, we have to earn a living, or we have to take care of business. I am not saying we don’t, but what I am saying is we can have fun while doing it. So we don’t work…we create; we don’t earn a living…we innovate and the money flows. We don’t take care of business, we have fun and business will take care of us!

Listen to what Mr. Carnegie said.

Just for today, have FUN!

Vitamin E is for Empathy

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 11:01:00 +0000

“Anyone who has experienced a certain amount of loss in their life has empathy for those who have experienced loss.” ~ Anderson Cooper

I think it is unfortunate that we were never taught empathy in school. We must wait until we enter the school of adversity and grief before we learn about being empathetic to another.

Whereas sympathy means to care and offer support; empathy goes deeper. It means really feeing the emotions of the other; literally feeling what it is like to walk in their shoes.

Just for today, feel for another and be empathetic!

Coach Carolyn

Vitamin D is for Decisive

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 11:56:00 +0000

“But the cure for most obstacles is, Be decisive.” ~ George Weinberg

Sometimes it is difficult to make a decision. But not making a decision is also a decision. When you do not make a deliberate decision, then life throws you whatever it wants. Once again, you end up in victim mode.

Just for today, be decisive!

Coach Carolyn

Vitamin C is for Conscious

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 11:46:00 +0000

“A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action. A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch

Most of our lives are lived on autopilot; either very routine or very random. Start living your life consciously and intentionally. When you do, you can manifest whatever you desire; and not be a victim of circumstances.

So just for today, be conscious!

Coach Carolyn

Vitamin B is for Broken

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 11:32:00 +0000

“God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open.” ~ Hazrat Inayat Kahn

This is one of my favorite quotes. It speaks of empathy in the deepest sense. When our hearts are broken open, we can deeply feel for another. When our hearts are closed, it is impossible to feel for another.

Just for today, stay broken!
Coach Carolyn

Vitamin A is for Appreciate!

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 11:21:00 +0000

“Appreciation is the highest form of prayer, for it acknowledges the presence of good wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts.” ~ Alan Cohen

Are you hating or appreciating?

Don't wait until it is too late to tell someone you appreciate them. Just tell them!

Just for today, be an appreciator!

Coach Carolyn

Friday’s Purposeful Question

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 11:24:00 +0000

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

"It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are." ~ e. e. cummings

“Who are you becoming?”

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein

Have a fabulous weekend! I know I will!

Coach Carolyn

What Kind of Work Are You Doing?

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 10:53:00 +0000

More video wisdom from Michael Bungay Stanier of Box of Crayons. So, what kind of work are you doing?

Work smarter, not harder!

Coach Carolyn

The Power of the Decision

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 11:43:00 +0000

A great video message from actor Will Smith speaking of the power to make a decision. Sound familiar? Uh-huh!

You have the power!
Coach Carolyn

The Space Between Nothing and Something

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 11:33:00 +0000

This powerful and moving video is by my friend and colleague, Steven Aitchison over at Change Your Thoughts. Enjoy!

Did it bring you to tears? Me too!

Coach Carolyn

The Eight Irresistible Principles of FUN!

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 11:19:00 +0000

Love this video by Michael Bungay Stanier of Box of Crayons.

Time for you to have fun!

Here's to having fun!

Coach Carolyn

Decide to Be Happy

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:53:00 +0000

Just for today, make the decision to be happy.

How? Change your focus. Focus is power.

If you focus on what's wrong, you will find it everywhere.

If you focus on what's right, you will find it everywhere!

Focus on what's working in your life.

Focus on how far you have come.

Focus on your ability to think, feel and attract.

Focus on someone or something you love.

So, just for today, deliberately focus on something or someone that makes you feel good.

And have a stellar weekend!

Coach Carolyn

Why Worry?

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 11:46:00 +0000

“Worry is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” ~ Author unknown

STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

What do you tend to worry about?
What does worrying do for you?
What's the benefit of worrying?

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” ~ Winston Churchill

“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.” ~ Harold Stephens

Coach Carolyn

Mermaid or Whale?

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 12:08:00 +0000

“Fitness to me isn't about a crunch or a push-up. It's about taking your power back.” ~ Jillian Michaels

Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?" A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posted by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends…dolphins, sea lions, curious humans. They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world. Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to an identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

*****

Remember Ariel, the Little Mermaid? 'Nuff said!

Coach Carolyn

Victim? You Choose!

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:50:00 +0000

"We focus on the negatives, losing ourselves in the ‘problem.’ We point to our unhappy circumstances to rationalize our negative feelings. This is the easy way out. It takes, after all, very little effort to feel victimized." ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

No one can make us a victim unless we sign up for it. There are no victims, only volunteers. Our thoughts and our feelings are within our control. We may not have control over our circumstances; that is why they are none of our business. What is our business is what we do have control over.

Author and teacher Byron Katie says there are three kinds of business: our business, other people's business and God's business. Part of our struggle is confusing whose business is whose. It is time to stop confusing our business with other people's business and God's business. The moment we stick to working on our own business, the struggle will cease and we will no longer subject ourselves to being victims.

It does take more effort to mind your own business, but once you get the hang of it, it is a cinch!

Coach Carolyn

You Create Your Own Reality

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:23:00 +0000

"You are the creator of your own reality."

"You were born with an innate knowledge that you do create your own reality. And, in fact, that knowledge is so basic within you that when someone attempts to thwart your own creation, you feel an immediate discord within yourself." ~ Abraham-Hicks

The words that you speaks and the thoughts that you think create the feelings that you feel. It is your dominant feelings that attract to you what you are experiencing.

You know when you are feeling those unsettling emotions, like fear, anger, frustration and rage. You also know that you are attracting more fear, anger, frustration and rage into your reality.

Choose a new thought. Feel a different feeling.

Coach Carolyn

How Are You Feeling?

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 11:44:00 +0000

This week we looked at the thoughts that drive your emotions. You know, it is your own thoughts that drive your emotions, not the outside circumstances. Those outside events that happen, they do not cause you to feel a certain way; it is the way you interpret those events that cause you to feel what you feel. If you deem something as being very bad, you will feel bad about it. If you deem something as being unfair, then this will make you feel angry.

But what if… you do not attach any meaning to those outside events that happen in your world? Just, what if? Yes, we are meaning-making machines and we have to assign meaning to everything that happens in our external world. Yet, what if we simply chose not to? What if we said, “Oh, that thing happened; isn’t that interesting?” Then simply, let it go. Hard to fathom? I know.

Yet, this is the cause of all your suffering. You assign meaning to things that have no meaning and have nothing to do with you. Even if it has your name all over it, it has nothing to do with you – unless you let it. You get fired? It’s not about you. You get dumped by the guy? It’s not about you. Stop making everything about you. I am sorry to tell you this but you are not the center of anyone’s universe except your own! Not everything is about you. Stop allowing it to be.

“As for worrying about what other people might think – forget it. They aren't concerned about you. They're too busy worrying about what you and other people think of them.” ~ Michael le Boeuf

Make it a blessed weekend!

Coach Carolyn

What’s Your Priority?

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 11:39:00 +0000

What are you making a priority in your life? Is it depression? Is it happiness? Is it the job that makes you depressed? Is it the toxic friends you can’t seem to do without?

If you want to be happy, make being happy a priority. Oh, I don’t mean standing in front of the mirror every morning declaring yourself to be happy – it takes a bit more than that. If you really want to feel a different way, only you can make that happen.

STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK: “Why am I not happy?” “What will make me happy?” “What do I need to do to make that happen?” Then take one action step to make it so. If you do not make being happy, joyful, peaceful, and exuberant a priority, then it won’t be.

My priority is to be peaceful. I need and want peace in all areas of my life. To make that happen, I had to make the decision that I would create peace in all areas of my life. This was not easy. I had a job and I was miserable. I had to leave the job if I truly wanted peace. I lived with my family who were toxic, violent and unhealthy. I had to divorce myself from the family if I wanted peace. Now, most people will not make these kinds of sacrifices; but I wanted peace. I had to make peace a priority and so I had to make the sacrifices. Do not ask for something you are not willing to work to make happen.

If you are not willing to leave the job that makes you miserable, then shut up about it. It is your choice to stay in that job. If you are miserable in your job, chances are you are not where your heart has led you; therefore, you will never be happy in that job. Ask yourself why you stay in a job that does not light you up? Money! Right! I know that one....

Make YOU a priority, because no one else will!

Coach Carolyn

Are You Still Making Excuses?

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 11:33:00 +0000

“Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.” ~ Don Wilder and Bill Rechin

One of my favorite axioms is excuses are exits. When you make an excuse, you literally exit yourself off the highway of happiness and success. Excuses are simply rational lies. They will get you nowhere very fast.

Excuses are another way to give away our power. We know we need or do something; yet we look at our external circumstances and based on what’s going on, we think about it in a negative light, then we come up with an excuse not to do it. And nine out of ten times it is because we don’t feeeeeel like doing it. Whine, whine, whine! Give me some cheese with that whine!

I can’t tell you how many excuses I have heard over the years – from students, potential clients, and wanna-be clients. Oh yes, everyone wants to work with you, but… then here comes the excuse. Your life will always remain as murky and dark while it is filled with excuses; because excuses only darken your path. There is nowhere to go after the excuses – the conversation is ended.

Now, if there is a legitimate reason… well, that’s different!

“The only person who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.” ~ Jules Renard

So, what's your excuse?

Coach Carolyn

Who Are You Blaming?

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 11:27:00 +0000

As I stated in yesterday’s post, it is easy to point the finger at someone or something else when we are feeling bad. For many years, when I was feeling depressed or anxious, I would blame my mother, my sibling, the moon, you name it. Doing this, I did not have to take responsibility. But this also meant, I forfeited my power to the person or thing I deemed responsible. This meant that I also had no power to change the way I felt.

I rarely, if ever, owned my feelings, therefore, my behavior that resulted from those feelings. It was so-and-so who made me do it. Growing up in my house, the devil was the likely perpetrator to blame things on. It was convenient and bore all the responsibility. I was completely off the hook. Yet, I still felt bad, sad, mad, or glad. The devil couldn’t do anything about lifting my negative moods, or changing my behavior. And, the devil managed to not get the punishments – I received those.

Until you take full and complete responsibility for your own emotions and behaviors, you will always be the victim, powerless and not in control of your own life. As the great First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once so wisely stated, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So whether you think you are the victim of someone else’s bad behavior, you are still allowing it. Take back your power and you will find you can also control your emotions.

No, the devil did not make you do it!

Coach Carolyn

Your Thoughts Drive Your Emotions

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 11:22:00 +0000

This week, we will look at how your thoughts are driving your emotions. You may think that whatever is going on around you in your external world is what is causing you sadness, happiness, fear, loneliness, anxiety or anger. Wrong! What you are feeling has nothing to do with what is going on outside of you. What you are feeling is caused by what is going on inside of you. Surprised? I thought you might be. Because when we can point to come outside stimulus for our feelings, then we give ourselves permission to be victims and to blame someone or something else for our unsettling feelings and bad behavior.

It is easier to say, “She made me feel this way,” or “He made me feel that way,” than it is to say, “I am feeling this way because I choose to feel this way.” Say that one aloud and see how it fits. I dare say, quite an uncomfortable fit. As adults, no one has the power to make us feel or behave a certain way, unless we give away our power to someone outside of us. Digest that one for awhile and I will be back tomorrow….

Are you digesting?

Coach Carolyn

Friday’s Purposeful Question

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 11:47:00 +0000

"What is the essence of my story?"

Mind Your Own Story!

Coach Carolyn

Be Skeptical, But Learn to Listen

noreply@blogger.com (Doncrack) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 11:39:00 +0000

The Fifth Agreement: Be Skeptical, But Learn To Listen.

"Don’t believe yourself or anybody else. Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear: Is it really the truth? Listen to the intent behind words, and you will understand the real message." ~ Don Miguel & Don Jose Ruiz

There is a tiny yet powerful word in the middle of BELIEVE. Yes, it is LIE! Not the malicious, on purpose lie you might know and be familiar with (hmmm); but the kind of lie that is truth for you but not for someone else. My truth may not be your truth.

You were conditioned as children to believe what the elders told you. Well, who told the elders? Their elders! And if the beginning elder has incorrect information, then guess what got passed down? You guessed it – incorrect information. Remember, playing telephone as children? The first child would whisper a message in the ear of the next child and so on down the line. When the last child repeated the message, it was so different from the original message.

The second part of Don Miguel’s fifth agreement is crucial in building excellent communications skills – learn to listen. This is where so many people fall down. Listening is an art and a skill and one not readily taught to the masses. Most of the time, people just don’t listen. Instead, they are rehearsing their rebuttals, eagerly awaiting their turn to speak. When you actively listen to someone, you come away drained, but listening is an action.

I have been told that I am a good listener. I have honed this skill. I want to hear what someone has to say. That is not to say that I sit and listen to gossip and slander or toxic negativity. No, no, that is not being helpful in any way. I listen to help another. I listen as a coach, as a counselor and as a facilitator. I listen for the other person’s truth, though it may not be my truth; and I listen without judgment or criticism.

Just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:
“Am I listening to fix or judge, or am I listening to learn?”

Coach Carolyn