But this doesn’t work out well for everyone!

Sometimes the guy who tries the hardest to keep his girlfriend happy ends up doing the exact opposite: he makes her miserable!

But why is that?

Is he doing something wrong? Something, you could avoid?

To give you two short answers: Yes, he is! And yes, you can!

In fact, it’s because he tries to keep her happy, it becomes the exact reason why she is unhappy!

Now, this kind of bold (and confusing) statement requires a more in-depth explanation. So, let me tell you why some guys never seem to make their girlfriends happy even though they try their hardest.

And then let’s look at how you can avoid their fate…

Where Some Guys Go Wrong

Sometimes your girlfriend’s unhappiness comes from the things you do… or don’t do.

Things like leaving the toilet seat up. Refusing to ask for directions when you’re clearly lost. Or neglecting her when she wants to spend more time together.

But apart from the last one, these are minor problems – problems you can fix on your own.

Yet, if you’re doing everything “right” and she’s still miserable, the problem goes way deeper!

In fact, sometimes because you’re doing things for her, you make her unhappy!

To explain this statement, let’s take your average relationship as an example. Where a man who cares about his girlfriend upsets her:

While you might think that yelling at your girlfriend is always bad (and it can be, if taken to the extreme), you also reveal something about yourself! You show her that you have the mental strength to stand up for yourself.

Sure, you shouldn’t flip out when your girlfriend does something you don’t like, but you also shouldn’t be too accepting. Especially when she’s overstepping your boundaries!

You see, when a guy tries to keep his girlfriend happy no matter the cost, he will make some sacrifices along the way:

• He will give in when arguing with her.
• He will forgo things he wants.
• He will put her always above himself.

All this, to keep her happy!

But this is exactly what makes her unhappy!

While you’re trying to keep her happy, it backfires on you because she loses respect for you.

Women want to be with a man who actually has the balls to say “no” every now and then. So when a guy tries to please her to keep her happy all the time, he demonstrates exactly the opposite!

While losing your temper isn’t cool, at least it shows her that you respect yourself enough to voice your opinion when something isn’t to your liking!

While giving up on things you want makes you seem noble, it also makes you look like you don’t respect yourself enough when doing it all the time!

While putting yourself always first is selfish, it’s not going to be healthy nor helpful when you never do it!

So, what’s the solution then? To pick fights with her, refuse to do things for her, and never put her first?

Not really…

How to Actually Keep Your Girlfriend Happy

For a relationship to work, both partners need to be willing to make sacrifices.

This means that sometimes you can let her have her way… but sometimes it needs to be her who is making the sacrifices!

If it’s you who’s always getting the short end of the deal, then she’s not going to stay happy in the long run.

You see, the secret of keeping your girlfriend happy is not to look at the short-term effects. It’s to start looking at the bigger picture.

This means that sometimes you need to be ready to upset her in the moment so she can stay happy in the long-term.

A woman who decides to get into a relationship with you needs to look up to you, or at least see you as an equal. If she doesn’t, she is going to lose attraction for you and eventually dump you.

No woman wants to be in a relationship with a guy whom she considers beneath her.

So, if you start acting like she’s someone you have to keep happy at all costs, you prove to her that you are beneath her! And that’s a fact!

So what can you do? Simple:

Stop trying to please her, start standing up for yourself and from time to time, put yourself first!

If she’s unhappy about something, it’s not your job to always try to fix it!

If she’s angry at you and expects you to do something that goes against your values, it’s not you who has to budge!

And if you’re still too worried about upsetting her, think about it this way:

It’s not like she’s going to start hating you for showing some backbone! Sometimes she’s actually secretly hoping that you take charge (she’s testing you).

Yes, by doing so you’ll risk getting into arguments and even upsetting her… but at least she won’t lose respect for you!

Furthermore, when she sees that you can stand up for yourself and not trying to please her, she will stop fighting you and be happier.

Let’s Conclude

While your girlfriend going to play an important role in your life, it doesn’t mean your world should revolve around her!

She needs to see that you’ve got a spine and don’t just bend backward whenever she asks you to.

Sometimes she’s waiting for you to stand up for yourself and say no, just to see your strong, masculine side. Fail to do so, and eventually, she’s going to realize that she made a mistake by getting into a relationship with you.

What it all boils down to is this: don’t do things for your girlfriend to keep her happy. Do things for her because you want to. But never to avoid upsetting her!

But then, everything changes… she starts acting weird and pulling away from you.

And you have no idea why!

What’s worse, nothing you do helps. In fact, the more you do, the worse it gets!

Eventually she stops talking to you completely and you know it in your gut – you’ve lost her.

So, what went wrong?

I’ve been in this situation more times than I can count (or want to) and let me tell you, it comes down to one thing:

You don’t know how to keep a girl interested and thus make simple mistakes that push her away.

And these mistakes, along with something even more important, are what we are going to focus one…

How to Lose Her Interest… Fast

There can be many reasons why girls lose interest in you. But there are two major ones that will come back to bite you in the ass, if you don’t avoid them:

1. You rush.
2. You invest too much (too early).

So, let’s take a look at them and see what you can actually do so it won’t happen again.

1. Rushing Things

One of the biggest mistakes many guys make when they meet a girl they like, is rushing. They want a relationship with her as soon as possible.

And the reason for this is simple: They are afraid of losing her.

Girls, though, aren’t interested in jumping head first into a relationship with a stranger. They prefer to take things slow. To get to know each other. To fall in love!

They want things to happen naturally!

Furthermore, a guy in a hurry raises red flags! It reveals desperation that squashes any romantic interest she has! It tells her to steer clear!

For her, it’s a clear sign that he hasn’t been with a someone for a very long time. And because this, his constant need for affection is going to suffocate her once she agrees to date him.

And that’s an instant turn-off for most women!

So, to avoid this scenario, all you really have to do is to stop yourself from rushing things.

Yes, it’s actually that easy. All it takes is some discipline and change in attitude!

If you take a relaxed attitude towards getting into a relationship. If you stop rushing things. She will actually want to give the relationship a try!

Women know that a guy who shows interest, but isn’t in a hurry to get into a relationship, is worth it.

And if this didn’t convince you why rushing is pointless. Then here’s something that might will:

There are no guarantees when it comes to relationships! Jumping head first into one to “seal the deal” doesn’t guarantee she’s going to stay in it!

If you turn out to be someone she doesn’t want, there’s nothing that will keep her in a relationship with you!

It’s not a binding commitment! If she thinks that you are the wrong man for her, she will still dump you and move on.

But now you’re already too invested. Now it’s going to be more painful for you!

So instead of a small sting, it’s going to feel like a gut punch.

And this brings us nicely to the next topic…

2. Investing Too Much

Another mistake guys often make is “investing” in a girl they just met.

They become obsessed with her and turn her into someone “more special” than she actually is.

Sometimes they even add characteristics onto her she doesn’t even have!

When a woman notices this, it becomes an instant turn off because it’s (again) extremely desperate!

While it’s true that girls want to feel special, they also want to be with someone they consider as special. And stranger who worships the ground they walk on is definitely not special!

A desirable man has options, he simply does not fall for every girl he meets. Only someone without options is going to latch onto the very first pretty girl that pay attention to him.

And most women know that! They try to avoid this guy like the plague!

For this reason, you should avoid getting too attached to a girl you barely know!

When you’re already in a committed relationship with her, then you can… and should… show her how much she means to you. But never before that!

If you stay emotionally distant, even a bit indifferent, she will stay interested in you.

Hell, she might even start to chase you, because you look like someone who has options – someone who has value.

How to Keep Her Interested

Before we can move on, there’s one thing you’ll have to understand:

The above mentioned examples are symptoms of a bigger underlying problem.

While you can keep a woman’s interest by avoiding them, it’s not going to be enough in the long run!

Remember when I said that rushing into a relationship is desperate?
Well, that’s not something you can just decide to turn off!

If you’re needy or desperate in one situation, it’s likely that you wouldn’t do any better in other situations. It means that you’re desperate overall.

So, it’s not what you do, but who you are that is going to make the difference!

This means that you could be saying and doing everything right. But the second a woman meets “the real you”, she’s going to lose interest!

Of course, I didn’t bring these things up to knock you down or to tell you how hopeless everything is. There’s actually a lot you can do!

The reason why I brought them up is to steer you in the right directions:

Instead of obsessing over how to keep a girl interested in you, fix the real problem that keeps pushing her away!

While you should avoid scenarios where you rush and invest too much too soon, you also should do more!

You should take a deep hard look at your current situation and see if there’s room for improvement! Especially if you have no idea why girls keep pulling away from you.

Oftentimes this means adopting a completely different mindset and working on traits like confidence, competence, dominance, independence and so on.

You should be happy with who you are and know what you could offer a woman. This way you will keep her interested and attracted.

This article only scratches the surface of this very deep topic. I would suggest you to do more research on this topic. Even better, get my book that’s designed to give you a new perspective – the kind that makes women attracted to you!

In Conclusion

A girls interest in you basically boils down to her attraction for you. If you can’t keep her attracted, you will also lose her interest.

That’s why turning yourself into someone who naturally attracts women is going to be the best solution!

Not only will it fix this specific problem, but also help you to fix most of the problems you face in your interactions with women.

Again, if you are serious about changing the way women respond to you, do something about it!

And while this is a fair point, they fail to understand that you can still be nice to people without turning into “the nice guy”. All you have to do is to give up the negative behaviors associated with one.

By doing so, you will still have a chance with most women you meet!

And that’s why you’re here, right?

You want to learn how to stop being a nice guy because you already know that he is usually the one getting the short end of the deal when it comes to women.

Or maybe you know that whenever he displays some interest in someone, he will usually get rejected.

No matter the case, you’re here reading this because you want things to change!

So let’s do that… but first, let’s dig a bit deeper!

The Problems with Being Nice

There are actually two problems with being nice. But without understanding them or what you can do about them, you’ll keep repeating the same mistakes again and again.

That’s why we have take a look at both of them before we can do anything else!

So, let’s start with…

Problem 1: Not that Nice

The problem with most nice guys is that… they aren’t actually that nice to begin with!

I know, seems a bit contradictory.

But here’s why:

When nice guys are being courteous to others, it usually comes with an ulterior motive – they’re hoping to get something in return.

Whether this is respect, validation, acceptance or love, nice guys use nice deeds to get something they desire.

If you allow me to play psychologist here, I would say, that this behavior stems from their childhoods where they were taught that in order to get something, they would have to give something first.

Thanks to this, they go around doing things for others and when other reciprocate, they feel better about themselves.

In turn, this reaffirms their belief!

But there’s one area where this doesn’t work – attraction. Hoping a girl falls for you because you do things for her, is not how attraction works!

She either likes you or she doesn’t… no amount of niceties will change that!

This is also where we start to see the darker side of a nice guy…

They use niceness as a bargaining chip and are usually only nice towards women because they hope it leads to something.

That’s why they desperately try to win a girl over by doing her favors and always being available 24/7. But since this never works, it will eventually also lead towards resentment!

This means that some nice guys have gone through this cycle enough times – doing things for girls and as a “reward” getting rejected – that they have started to resent women because of it.

And if they can’t escape this cycle, it can lead to a really dark place!

Now, if you recognized yourself in the previous sentences…

Or you’re in the habit of doing considerate things for women (or people in general) just because you think you’ll get what you want from them…

You need to stop doing things for others and be honest about your intentions!

Stop doing things for others to get something in return! Do things for them because you want to do them, not because you hope to get something in return.

People value honesty and authenticity more than nice deeds in disguise. And most people will recognize a suck-up and try to avoid them.

And then there’s the thing about intentions…

If you meet a girl, let her know that you like her! Risk with rejection, instead of trying to “win her over” by doing stuff for her! Hiding behind good deeds in the hopes that a woman will feel obliged to repay you is a hopeless task!

This means that you should be honest with women. Don’t pretend you want to do things for a girl when you actually intend to sleep with her.

It’s always better to risk with rejection than waste your time and energy on someone (by being a nice guy) who isn’t interested in you anyway and will eventually break your heart.

Problem 2: Different Perspectives

First, let’s clear up one thing…

When a woman tells you she wants a nice guy, she’s not lying. She actually wants one!

But the reason why man guys still assume otherwise comes down to miscommunication: men and women have very different definitions of what it means to be nice.

Guys who are nice, think that they have to become submissive and overly accepting in order to fill the role of a nice guy! They act like complete wimps around women by doing everything to please them.

Girls on the other hand want someone with a strong character, someone who has his own thought and opinions… but who is also nice.

Think about it…

Why would a woman want someone who doesn’t respect and value himself? Someone who tries to please her while sacrificing his own wants and needs.

When you put a girl on a pedestal like that, you are telling her that she has too much value… and you have none! It completely destroys the power dynamic between the two of you.

It makes any potential of a relationship impossible!

Don’t get me wrong. Women are wonderful and all, but they are also human beings who don’t need any special treatment.

And you definitely don’t have to do everything for them!

So when you look at it from this perspective, it suddenly starts to make sense when “a woman says one thing but means the other”. There’s actually is a logical pattern in her behavior. We, as men, just go overboard with the former!

Nice does not equal weak, supplicating, overly agreeable or any of the sorts!

It… just… means… nice!

A woman doesn’t want a man who is desperately trying to be nice to her, she wants someone equal.

As a matter of fact, let’s take this up a notch and say: she wants someone she can look up to!

And she definitely can’t look up to someone who willingly puts himself beneath her!

Therefore, give up the belief that being nice, you have to give up being the real you!

And isn’t this a relieving feeling?

From Nice to Attractive

Okay, since we have now tackled the two problems, let’s see how you can change things…

If you really want to turn things around and go from nice to attractive, then here’s probably the only advice you need on this topic:

Start to love yourself and stop seeking the validation of others!

Yes, that’s basically it!

If you fix these these things about yourself, you will rid yourself of the nice guy syndrome and women will actually begin to get curious about you.

So, let’s take a closer look at what changing these two things will accomplish:

Start to Love Yourself

The biggest flaw with most nice guys is their lack of self-love!

Whenever a nice guy considers approaching a girl, his excuse for not doing so is usually because she is out of his league.

Now, whether you think this is true or not is irrelevant, what counts is that she will always seem out of his reach with this kind of attitude.

He places her way above himself and consequently eliminates himself from her potential partners!

If you don’t love yourself the way you are, you’ll always lack the needed self-respect and confidence to attract the opposite sex. This is why you try to make up for it with the niceness.

But even if you manage to start a relationship with a girl. It’s your negative mindset will eventually become the reason why she leaves you – you’re not seeing her as an equal but rather as someone too good for you.

This means that you will always try to win her over by doing things for her. Because deep inside, you feel that you’re never enough!

This is where starting to love yourself will positively impact your life!

By accepting yourself the way you are, you will let go of all the negative shit that keeps you down:

• You’ll start to trust in yourself and will become more confident in your interactions with people.
• With your new-found self-respect, you will start to set boundaries and have a more positive attitude towards life.
• On top of that, the women you approach will respond more positively to you and actually consider you as a potential partner.

So, if you’re in the habit of bringing yourself down, then stop!

Accept that you have flaws (you will always have flaws), but never let them influence the view you have of yourself. Accept the way you are because you sure as hell can’t be somebody else (and why the hell would you want to?).

Now, of course, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to change or improve yourself.

Just give up on the self-hate part!

Instead of seeing yourself as a loser, start to see yourself as a guy who is in the process of learning. Every mistake is just an opportunity to learn and grow.

Therefore, there is no need to beat yourself up when you make mistakes.

Stop Seeking Validation and Approval

Now, since we went over this already, let’s dig a bit deeper and see how you can actually change things!

While being nice to people is one thing, going out of your way to win their approval is a completely different story!

Since a nice guy isn’t really the self-loving type, he needs others to accept him to feel that worthy. So he does nice shit for others in the hopes of getting the validation he craves. This becomes especially apparent in his interaction with a woman where he does everything she asks for, simply to get her approval (and affection).

If you’re chasing the approval and validation of others, know that this kind of behavior will never make you truly happy!

Especially if you’re in the habit of putting the needs of others above your own.

It just shows that you do not respect yourself! And without that, you will also never get the respect (or affection) from others!

Even in a relationship, a woman still wants to be with a guy who respects himself enough that from time-to-time he puts himself first and doesn’t bend backward to satisfy her every need.

Give yourself some credit. You’re more capable than you think. Don’t look for others to define you, do it yourself!

As a matter of fact, you don’t need people to tell you who you are, so stop trying to win them over. Be whoever you want to be and if someone doesn’t like it, it’s their problem. Become someone like this and you will see how differently women start to treat you.

The only person that can truly influence your life is you. So, as mentioned before, learn to love yourself and you will stop caring what others think of you (and you will also stop the approval and validation seeking behavior).

In Conclusion

You might be wondering right now if focusing only on these two things is really enough?

It kind of is! By eliminating these two major factors, everything else starts to fall in place.

A guy who loves himself will always come across as more confident than someone who hates himself. And if he stops seeking for validation, he will naturally earn the respect and appreciation of others just because he is authentic and emotionally independent.

So yes, if you focus on these two issues, you will start to change from a nice guy into a guy who will be considered attractive by women.

But of course, there is always more you can do. And by doing so, you’ll only speeding up the process!

And if you’re really motivated to do so and want to dive deeper into this topic, then you should know that I just launched a brand new course! It is called Rules of the Alpha Male and it is going to change you from a nice guy to a better (more attractive) version of yourself!