Back in March, I linked to Anna’s post in which she discussed what she learned from taking a photo of herself every day for a month. And even before that, a friend sent me this post about feeling too fat to be photographed. Both women’s perspectives have been rattling around in my brain ever since. Ultimately, both came out in favor of photography as a positive force for preserving memories, self-reflection, and even body positivity.

At my last office job, I was the staff photographer. Whenever a new employee came on board, it was my responsibility to connect with her/him for a headshot that would be used for internal communications. Wanna know how many of these new hires enjoyed being photographed? That’s right: ZERO. It didn’t matter how old, young, fat, skinny, or traditionally attractive they were, they all loathed the process. Looking back, I wish I’d thought to poll them because I’m sure they harbored a variety of reasons for fearing the lens.

For five of the six years this blog has been up and running, Husband Mike has taken near-daily photos of me. Full-body, head-to-toe shots that show my face and figure in all its perfectly imperfect glory. He was a professional photographer long before we met, so I knew going in that I’d be featured in lots of photos. Couldn’t have predicted it would be this many or that I’d be posting them to a website. As you can imagine, I’ve grown used to being photographed myself, and don’t much mind it. Most of the time. But I can see definite pros and cons, learning opportunities and self-image pitfalls inherent in being regularly (or even irregularly) photographed. Such as:

Photographs offer a different perspective

PRO: What looks great/awful in the mirror can look awful/great in a still image. When I do style consults, I photograph all the outfits we create so my clients can see what they look like from a perspective that differs from their own. They are a fabulous teaching tool when it comes to understanding figure, proportion, and flattery.

CON: Photographs are fixed, so it can be hard to determine if they are a “truer” representation of how something/someone looks than the real, living thing. Additionally seeing a photograph that doesn’t align with your internal ideas of how something/someone looks can be incredibly jarring and upsetting.

Photographs capture moments in time

PRO: Well, you want some moments captured. It’s that whole memory-preservation thing. And it can be rewarding and eye-opening to see snapshots of your former self and consider how you felt at the time. Most women I know have shared stories about looking at photos from high school or college and realizing that they were lovely, radiant creatures back then yet still hated their bodies. Also many of us were awkward as youngsters, and it can feel good to know you’ve outgrown some gawk.

CON: Some moments get captured against your will. In fact, “captured” is all too apt in these cases as bad photos can feel like emotional jail cells.

Photographs remind us what humans look like

PRO: I’m assuming that, like me, you don’t have professional hair and makeup before and professional Photoshop retouching afterwards. The photos we take of ourselves and each other are great reminders that magazine and online photos we see of the rich and famous have been altered beyond the humanity threshold. It can be good to see photos of regular people – even ourselves – because they remind us that people have pores, fat rolls, flyaway hairs, and all sorts of other horrifying things that celeb and ad photos make us believe are heinous.

CON: Comparing a photo of yourself to a professionally retouched photo can lead to nasty, comparative thoughts. It all depends on your mood.

My biggest hang-up about being photographed? Total lack of control. I trust HM to take the best possible photos of me, but am much less trusting of other photographers. And if HM approaches me with a camera before I’ve showered or on a day when I’m especially cranky or at a time when I’m just not in the mood to be photographed, I get downright hostile. For me, I see this reaction as being linked to my own utterly false belief that I control how others see me. Minus the camera, I feel in control of my image. Once the shutter starts clicking, I realize that lighting, body position, and countless other uncontrolled factors may affect the finished, permanent image.

Interestingly, I’d say I was less anxious about being photographed before the advent of digital. When someone started snapping photos with a film camera, I knew it’d be ages before I could gauge my photographic fate on a glossy print, so I just went with it. Now, I need to see the shot right away. And, of course, knowing that digital photos get Facebooked, Tweeted, and Instagrammed at lightning speed makes the process all the more perilous.

Despite all this, I do agree with Anna and Teresa. I think that if the average person were to undertake a daily self-portrait project, she would round it out feeling happier and more confident than when she began. We are our own harshest critics, and seeing an alternate presentation of self can quiet that critical voice. Also fear of photography breeds avoidance of photography because so much of what we’re dreading is the act itself. Allowing ourselves to become accustomed to regular photographs makes the process feel less scary and fraught with expectation.

And because of my own experiences with my own image and its relationship to my self-esteem, I think that photography can be a helpful tool for seeing myself. When I’m feeling awful about my body, I don’t want to look at it. I hide from mirrors, cameras, anything that will shove my own image at me. But looking at myself is vital because – for me – it breeds acceptance, tenderness, motivation, and care. To look at myself is to confront myself. Photos force that. For those of us who struggle to feel good about our physical selves, this can be downright terrifying. But unless we see ourselves, how can we be ourselves?

How do you feel about being photographed? What do you love about it? Hate about it? Would you ever undertake a daily self-portrait project? Do you agree that lack of control is part of what breeds photo fear? Are you more anxious about photography in the age of digital cameras and social media?

Image courtesy Nikon.

Back next week! Been getting some fun requests and can’t wait to tackle ‘em …

Cardigan – thrifted - similar (navy)
Tank - Boden
Belt - Gap (had it since high school) - similar
Skirt – via eBay – similar
Necklace - Fossil (no longer available) - similar
Bracelets - Bracelets - Bibelot and Sage K and Co
Earrings - Urban Outfitters (no longer available) - similar
Shoes – Faryl Robin Suzu via eBay – more printed pumps

I wore this for a quick Fox 9 Morning Show segment to demonstrate that separating two related prints with a solid can make print and pattern mixing feel less daunting. You hardly even notice there are two prints in this outfit, but they both add a bit of interest and energy to the look.

Anyone else like to put some nice, soothing solids between prints to make a more subtle mix?

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for alreadypretty.com. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Color is emotional. Very emotional. And wearing color can impact how you’re feeling, so I’m loathe to tell women that they should avoid wearing certain colors at all costs. If it makes you happy, does that outweigh the fact that it clashes with your complexion? I believe it does.

But many people disagree. And many more point out that looking good in a certain set of colors can help you feel good about yourself. Others feel that knowing which colors suit them best makes shopping and styling SO much easier.

How about you? Do you have a certain set of colors you know work best for you? Do you stick to them? Exclusively? Have you had your colors “done”? What was that like? Helpful? Confining? A bit of both?

This week I’m giving away a $50 credit to Freshie & Zero! Click through to enter.

PLEASE NOTE: You must click through and comment on the official contest post to qualify for entry. Do not comment on this post or photo.

Gray moto – thrifted – similar shape – more gray leather jackets
Dress – Land’s End
Belt – thrifted – similar
Pumps - Madewell via Shopbop
Earrings – self-made – similar

Don’t expect a sheath-style dress to have pockets, do ya? I know I didn’t. But as a firm believer that pockets make everything more fun, I was delighted by these. The thrifted moto is also pocket-tastic, although I’ve always found the multitudinous zipper pockets on this jacket style to be a little silly. Do I really want to keep my chap stick and keys in front of my shoulder? Probably not.

**Disclosure: Actions you take from the hyperlinks within this blog post may yield commissions for alreadypretty.com. See Already Pretty’s disclosure statement for more details.

Jess popped this question into the suggestion box:

As someone who is considering going from long to short hair, a post on how your crop has changed your styling would be very interesting!

I chopped my hair in July of 2011 so we’re going on two years for the pixie. Initially, I got a lot of comments about how changing my hair was causing me to change my dressing choices, and I can’t say that I agreed. In fact, looking back I’ve found that I am making very similar styling choices now, as a short-haired gal, to the ones I made with longer locks. Behold:

They’re different necklaces, belts, and heels but I chose to wear the same dress with a shortish necklace, wide-ish belt, and heels. Today, I’d probably reach for similar options, perhaps selecting a larger necklace.

This skirt just looks best with button-front shirts! I’ve tried it with a few other options, but end up back at this pairing. In the short hair version, I went with a slightly bolder necklace, but the outfits are otherwise quite similar.

The jacket on the right is more structured and the sandals are less matchy than the green pumps, but I added a very matchy handbag and stuck with the formula of over-layer and heels.

These outfits may look different because the change in hairstyle is pretty drastic. But the styling choices are decidedly similar.

That said, I DO feel that I’ve shifted my style since cutting my hair. Some changes are just part of the style evolution process that we’re all wading through as we age, but some changes are directly related to the haircut and its visual repercussions. The most obvious ones are:

I wear more pants

This shift could really be a half-and-half situation. I’m wearing more pants now because I’ve finally found a few styles and cuts that I actually enjoy wearing, but I also feel like a shorter, more boyish, and slightly edgier haircut makes pants feel like a more natural choice. For me, not universally. I’ll never be a true tomboy or delve deep into the menswear look – I love my skirts and heels too much – but I am more inclined to wear pants now with a pixie than I ever was with my curls.

I wear large necklaces and small earrings

I wrote a bit about this phenomenon here, and explained that the pixie cut exposes my neck, so I’ve been inclined to do a lot chunky, statement-y necklaces. With such a close crop, doing big earrings AND a big necklace creates an imbalance. You can see all of both, and it just feels like a jewelry hogpile in my face/neck area. I do occasionally go for big earrings instead, as in the photo at the very top of this post, but it’s one or the other. And on most days, I do big necklace with small earrings. I feel like it’s a better balance for my features.

I do color extremes

By which I mean that I’ve been gravitating toward all-neutral mixes, as shown above, and color-on-color mixes which you can see below.

I attribute this to a general desire to look more definite, and maybe a bit more extreme. Although I’ll admit that neutral mixes are somewhat of a fallback plan for me. When all else fails, I know a big mess of neutrals is likely to look relatively pulled-together. But I’ve wanted to do more color-on-color mixes because they feel challenging and interesting, and even two years in I feel like my short hair is also challenging and interesting. Now, there have been loads of outfits with both colors and neutrals, too, but I’ve noticed a tendency toward all-color or all-neutral over time.

Now, this is me. I would NEVER infer that any other woman who went from longer to shorter hair would experience the same shifts or feel the same desires. No two women are alike, no two styles are alike, and no two people will react to a drastic change in hairstyle in the same way. For many, a move from long to short hair can be a choice made to commemorate a milestone or a change made in hopes of spurring other change. For me, it was an experiment that stuck. I am happier with how I look from top to tail, though I’m fascinated to find that the changes I’ve made to my personal style have been relatively minor.

How many of you are mulling a drastic hairstyle or hair length change right now? How many have MADE such a change recently? How do you think it would change your dressing patterns and styling choices? Or how have you seen it do so already?

Stephanie of the blog Le Blog de Big Beauty used pops of bright orange in her accessories to brighten up a sophisticated mix of neutrals. Also love her artful layers. Check her original post for details about this inspired outfit!

It’s Saturday night! Why not groove your body to “Hero” by Family of the Year?

Quick reminder about this feature: I post links to thought-provoking and interesting articles I’ve found (or been sent) over the course of the week. Many of them clash with things I’ve said myself or linked to in the past because I am constantly mulling and reevaluating what I think and feel about these important topics, and because I want a variety of viewpoints to be considered and discussed in this space. This blog is about the intersection of body image and style. Some posts will lean more in one direction than the other, obviously, but my overall interest is to show where the two overlap. Some aspects of personal style aren’t 100% harmonious with the quest to cultivate positive body image, and vice versa. I think that’s just fine. It’s not my intention to be eternally consistent or singularly focused. It’s my intention facilitate the exploration of two topics that have some fascinating and beneficial common ground. I do that here through my own posts, through contributor posts, through guest posts, and through this weekly collection of links to writings by others who have relevant insights or opinions to share.

Now, on with the linkage!

* * * * *

Little did I know that my lovely friend Miller has a blog! Recently, she shared some thoughts on self-image and aging, saying, “For this show I not only had to stare at my face in the mirror on a well lit stage, I had to do so during a 10 minute freeze. No acting to distract me–my only job was to keep still. My eyes were free to roam critically over the caked-on foundation and blush, noting the way it magnified my pores and seeped into the cracks and crevices in my skin.”

There is no one right way to be beautiful.

Could anything be more classic than a trench coat worn with a sheath dress?

In this poignant post, Anna shares what her grandmother has taught her about body love.

After thrifting a size 15/16 dress and a size 4 bustier, Jentine reminds us that size numbers are completely arbitrary.

“Throughout history, there are always small groups of fashion extremists and individual eccentrics who take fashion well into the moral panic zone, occasionally even risking their lives for it. We consume a lot of breathless media outrage about these outsiders, even as we forget that the vast majority of ordinary people just aren’t fashion nuts and just don’t find freakish fashion victimhood appealing enough to be corrupted by it.”

This asymmetric tuxedo jacket is beyond cool.

Expert thrifter Futurelint has publicly committed to buying only used items from here onward. Amazing.

“If you’ve got ‘curves in all the right places’ and you’re fat, you may get snippets of thin privilege that would be denied to a fat person of relatively the same size but with a different shape.

Something about this super simple blazer-and-jeans ensemble is unspeakably chic.

Caitlin is a proud feminist who just took a pole dancing class and loved it.

Over at The Huffington Post, I wrote about why handbags and sunglasses represent style opportunities.

If ruffles intimidate you, this post on how to make the trend work might help. (Even if the pictured garments seem over-the-top, the styling suggestions are fairly reasonable.)

What would you say if you were to write a love letter to yourself?

“To bemoan the pressure young people must increasingly feel to be ‘camera-ready’ for social media risks falling in the category of ‘good ol’ days’ nostalgia. And as an adult with a personal blog as well as my own array of social media accounts (and a compulsion to document life), it also risks condescension. In other words, feeling self-conscious and controlling one’s public image is not a new phenomenon. And getting over that feeling or letting go of control are not challenges reserved for the young.” (Via Yes and Yes.)

Loving the style of St. Paul artist and new style blogger Ann at Blue Hue Wonderland. (Via this interview at 40+ Style.)

Here’s one marvelous response to a question I am asked often and feel powerless to answer: What do we tell our girls to help them feel confident and strong about themselves?

Related: Rosie offers tips for navigating weight talk in front of your daughter.

Formerly an online-only operation, Lily + Violet has just opened a boutique in Linden Hills! Twin Cities folks, it is well worth a stop. Adorable dresses, sparkly baubles, and charming home decor.

Megan shows us a goth-inspired look that’s work-friendly.

Just when I thought I couldn’t love Beth Ditto any harder, she makes this video for Rookie. In which she tells us, “Self-love isn’t selfish.” YES.

Citing links between modern perceptions and ideas about purity and decency, this author explains why the concept of modesty disgusts her.

And on the flip side of that coin, Hourglassy explores the challenges of dressing a prominent bust and how modesty is important to her for privacy reasons.

AAANNND a bit of a mixture between those two, Criss talks about her experience cycling through shame, pride, shame, and anger as she struggled to understand why her dressing choices as they relate to her bust size provoke such strong reactions from others.

Check out this gorgeous ice cream-inspired ensemble of lovely pastels.

Did you avoid getting a lower back tattoo because you knew they were called “tramp stamps”? Don’t worry. Now, you can also avoid getting anything inked onto your ribcage because someone decided THAT is a “skank flank.” (That sound you hear is me slamming my head against a wall.)

In this week’s Star Tribune, I wrote about making neon work now without feeling like an 80s throwback.

Adding yellow accents to a mix of jewel tones adds such energy and brightness to an otherwise subdued palette.

My book is currently on sale over at Amazon for $17.20! (They did this entirely on their own, so I have no idea when the sale will end … mysterious.)