Long discussions can enhance business relationships; however most clients and prospects prefer salespeople who are to the point. These are some of the key factors that keep sales people from listening more than they speak:

Anxiety: – People who are anxious use an avalanche of words to avoid dealing with potential conflict (such as a prospect saying no). Instead of balancing talking with listening, they believe that their wall of words will protect them from what they imagine as a threat. They often refuse to give up control of the conversation, adding a trail of words that echo the ones they’ve already expressed.

Lack of preparation: – The less clear we are on any given subject, the more words we need to talk about the subject.

Stress: – When we are tired, we tend to ramble, and our ability to concentrate begins to decrease. Our brain responds to mental fatigue by producing more words and less meaning.

Lack of a road map: – Do you have a road map for your sales calls? If not, write down the answers to three questions: What is my call objective? What information do I need to get? What information do I plan to give? Encourage yourself to talk less and listen more.

Failure to budget for time: – Some people get so involved in conversations that they lose track of time. Budget a specific amount of time for each call and stick to it. If you meet with long-winded people, remind them five minutes before you plan to leave by saying, “We have another five minutes; what else do we need to cover?”

Lack of humility: – Some people think that everything they say is important. When they talk, they experience a rush of good feelings, and they often fall in love with their own words. They may use catchphrases and complex language to impress clients and prospects. Don’t be a “talkaholic.” Stop lecturing. Turn your liability into an asset. Learn from others. Being expressive is fantastic; however, good relationships require us to be receptive to others.

Ineffective thinking: – While some people continue to move from problem to problem, others quickly get to the core of a customer’s problem, solve it, and close the sale. How? They use two types of thought patterns that can cure “wordaholism”: convergent thinking and divergent thinking. While convergent thinking leads to a focal point in the middle of a circle, divergent thinking radiates away from the centre in every direction. Divergent thinking opens people’s minds; it leads to new ideas, thoughts, and possibilities. As a result, the conversation goes on and on. Convergent thinking leads to conclusions

We all recognise that getting more work from existing clients can be the most profitable source of new business. They already know us and trust us – and we’ve (hopefully) done good work for them. So it should be a much easier sell to get them to buy more from us – provided they need the other products or services we’re offering.

In most businesses, the marketing effort seems to be focused on much lower return activities. Such activities may include running an advertising campaign, trying to cold call new prospects, or networking to meet new people.  It just seems kind of sexier to focus on brand new clients than it does to build our relationships with our existing and previous ones.  It’s almost as if we want to pursue the shiny new toy because the old toy we have had for a couple of years isn’t as appealing. After all we do live in a throw away society, where the pace of change has quickened considerably.  For example, no sooner had Apple launched the Ipad, than Apple was planning the launch of Ipad 2.  Many people who purchased the original Ipad only a few months ago have ditched the Ipad to purchase a shiny new Ipad 2.  Surely we don’t treat our clients like this!! Or do we? It’s about time we made our clients feel loved and valued.  Remember that if something is no longer shiny, such as a car or a pair of shoes, there are ways to make such items shiny again. It simply requires effort and hard work.

Often when try to polish an existing relationship; we often go about it completely the wrong way.  We make assumptions about how we should market to these individuals and businesses.  We rely on social media, e-mail campaigns, and e-newsletters.  Or maybe we equate marketing with meetings and “schmoozing”. We invite the client out to lunch, to an event or spend time with them just chatting.  Isn’t that what marketing is all about? After all why should we measure how we spend our marketing budget, surely our clients want to be invited to events and have lunch with us? Those are the things our marketing budget is geared up for – events and lunches.

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with these activities. Sometimes they’re just the right thing. But more often than not there’s something much more effective you can do with your time and money.  Have you ever thought about putting yourself in the client’s shoes and thinking about it from their perspective instead?

What’s more valuable to you, what demonstrates the commitment of a professional business more, and what proves their capabilities more: a lunch where you catch up socially without any agenda or your business massively over delivering on the work you are doing for the client?   If you ask your clients, 99% of the time, clients will go for the latter.

So instead of spending our marketing time and money schmoozing our current clients – we should spend it over delivering to clients.

Instead of spending time with clients at a social or business event, or in “marketing meetings” – spend it on the project you’re working with them on and do an even better job than you would have done otherwise.

Instead of buying an advert or putting on a marketing event – spend the money to arrange a value-added session with your client’s management team where you show them 5 new ways of implementing the results of your work and getting a better ROI.  In short, spend your time and money in any way you can think of so that the client not only thinks you did a great job for them (which should be the baseline) but that they think you’ve done the best job of any supplier they’ve hired.

Don’t think marketing – think value for your client.

Clearly, it is not possible to do this for every client. You need to focus on the high priority ones who have the potential to give you lots of new business, or strong referrals to other potential clients.  However, if you consistently over deliver in what you promised, then it’s the strongest way of getting them to buy more and to recommend you with enthusiasm.

You need to remember that when we come across people who are good at selling, we are seeing the finished article. These are individuals who have invested in themselves and have years of experience and training. It is important to remember that these individuals all started somewhere and didn’t start off that way.

I do agree that there are certain skills like listening, empathising, making friends and being sociable that some people seem to be naturally good at or pick up at an early age. But those are perfectly learnable skills for everyone.  The more structured skills that are required for improving your selling techniques can be learned as well.

You certainly don’t need to have perfected your skills to still have success with them. Most people see significant improvements in their success rate winning clients just by learning and following a simple, structured sales process.

There are some things which will also underpin your success in business and enhance your sales process.  It is all about having a strategy which will increase the number of opportunities which go into your sales funnel.  So when considering your sales strategy think about the following:-

• Don’t just rely on word of mouth – we often think that if we do really great work, that people will hear about me.  The reality is that they won’t. Sadly good news doesn’t travel fast, but bad news does.  When researchers TARP (pioneers in the field of customer satisfaction) www.tarp.com looked at word of mouth, they discovered that if you have a bad experience with a business then on average you will tell 12 people and those 12 people will tell 6 others. No doubt, you will have heard similar statistics before.  A much less reported finding is that TARP also found that if you have a good experience with a business then on average you’ll tell just a couple of friends. And those friends won’t remember much, and won’t tell anyone else at all.

The inherent problem with relying on word of mouth is that as most people practice it, it’s a passive strategy. You become reliant on the goodwill of others to generate leads for you. It is possible to turn into a proactive strategy.

You could take the attitude that if you want more clients that you just rely on getting more recommendations.  I agree that word of mouth is important, but it isn’t the only strategy that you should employ and if it is, then you will not ultimately grow your business.  You have to be proactive.

• You might adopt the strategy that “I just need to get my name out there”.

The truth with that strategy is that it won’t have a significant impact on increasing your sales pipeline. Having your name out there more, having more people know about you, just means you’re adding more noise to the constant barrage of promotional messages we are now all facing every day.  Unless you have a message that resonates with potential clients and that sets you apart from the myriad of others clamouring for attention then getting your name out there is pointless.

• Maybe you believe that you can’t find the time for marketing or that you don’t have the budget.

The reality is that if you don’t have a marketing strategy which is aligned to a sales strategy then your business won’t grow. Not having the time for marketing sounds ludicrous when you say it – but I hear it or something similar again and again. You don’t find the time for marketing – you make the time.

As a business owner you should be spending between at least 20% of your time on marketing and business development. If you can’t find that time, then you’ve either got your priorities wrong. More usually, the problem is that people avoid marketing because they don’t feel competent or comfortable with it.

If you want to be successful you’ve got to get over this, and you’ve got to get over yourself. You’ve got to knuckle down, book the time, and get your marketing and business development done.

Also, not having a budget for marketing is not good. You need to create a budget for your marketing and stick to it.

It is all about having a plan and sticking to it.  Marketing can create the leads which go into the sales funnel which can then be converted into clients.  Remember that sales skills can be learned!

The old method of differentiation didn’t really “connect” you with people. The old methods of differentiation have nothing to do with developing, growing, and strengthening relationships. Social media has everything to do with relationships. This might seem quite obvious and even though they are quite obvious, we don’t consciously utilize them to differentiate as much as we should.  In the age of social media, the lines are blurring between business and personal. To win hearts and minds and build your trusted network, you should begin thinking about how to differentiate yourself from the competition using new techniques and focusing on different things. Let’s consider how you can do things differently.

In the modern era, it is all about the client/customer now. Clients are in charge and they have more power than ever before due to the social networks, blogs, and forums that now exist as platforms for them to voice their thoughts and opinions. The focus is centered on the relationship, and how you can best take care of and serve clients, prospects, and advocates above and beyond anything you’ve ever done before.

With millions of people connecting, sharing, conversing, commenting, recommending and reviewing online, your clients and connections have the power to expand your influence in a positive OR negative way, like never before.

If a client, prospect or strategic partner really likes you and believes in you, the signals they share about you on social platforms have the potential to reach hundreds if not thousands. If you upset a client, or don’t take care of them with good service, that signal can also be sent and have a ripple effect. If you want to stand out in the age of social media and build your business, you must communicate frequently, engage, empower, promote, and provide outstanding service to the most important people in your trusted network.  These are some questions you should be asking are:-

• How can you best serve your clients and prospects?
• How can you be a resource to your clients and prospects?
• What can you do to make their lives better?
• How can you become valuable and irreplaceable to your clients?
• How can you go above and beyond the average?

The next thing to focus on is your personal side, but ask yourself are you truly making use of it in your business settings. As I said before, social networking is blurring the lines between business and personal. If you want people to know, like, and trust you before they ever meet you, you must find a way to show your personal side. Social networking and blogging can provide you with a tremendous platform for showcasing both the personal AND business side of YOU! If you use these platforms to solely distribute mundane data, irrelevant market updates, and boring commentary, you will not be providing any way for existing and potential clients to really connect with you.

People love stories and we love to learn about who people are and what drives them. If you build your digital identity through sharing your personal story, and let your business connections in on your personal life while allowing your personality to shine through, you will build trust and differentiate yourself from other businesses.

Finally, what do you really care about and what are you passionate about?  What has happened in your life that has had a profound impact on you as a human being? What magazines and books do you love to read? How do you spend your leisure time?

Online communities and connections are built around common interests and passions. With the transparency that social media offers, you have a tremendous opportunity to learn about what you might have in common with both clients and prospects while they can also learn what you are passionate about. Are you a triathlete? Do you love photography? Are you an avid cyclist?  Do you love to travel the world? Are you fluent in a foreign language? Do you volunteer or raise money for charity? All of these are examples of hobbies, interests, and passions.

If you share what you are passionate about and make these things known throughout the social networks you are involved with can help separate you from the competition. Don’t be afraid to be passionate. People with passion are like magnets!

To succeed in building relationships in a connected world, you have to be willing to put the focus on new ways of communicating. The fact that you can deliver a great product or service is a given. Clients have come to expect that you’ve got a solid product, your price is fair, and the service will be there. Now you have to take a risk now, and be willing to be vulnerable in the age of social media if you want to differentiate yourself from the competition. You’ve got to focus on what clients and prospects care about, and find ways to connect with them on a personal level around common interests. If you only use social media as a platform to pump out product and service related content, you will not have success. Share your story, show your personal side and use these techniques as part of your business development and sales strategy.