Ever since moving to South Dakota, I have been battling with seasonal depression and with each passing year it only seemed to get worse. Add to that the fact I started premature menopause about the same time and well, things weren’t looking good. Each year seemed to bring on a deeper level of depression until finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.

It got to the point that I began hating my life—no matter what blessings bestowed themselves upon me (i.e. kids and husband), I couldn’t focus on the simplest of tasks without feeling as though someone had placed a huge weight on my chest, little things bugged the hell out of me, and reading and writing had become an impossible task—it was difficult to form complete thoughts without a struggle and I had to read over the same sentence five times just to get the jest of it. And my memory, well that felt as though Alzheimer’s had set it and I was getting really scared.

Finally, I went to the doctor. She confirmed the depression and prescribed an anti-depressant. However, the insurance wouldn’t pay for it! After two weeks of back-and-forth between the doctor and the insurance company they agreed to pay for a generic anti-depressant. There was only one problem—and it was a biggie! The anti-depressant they were willing to pay for had so many side-effects and warnings that there was no way I was going to put my body through that, too.

My doctor was adamant about me taking the anti-depressant, but I was adamant about finding another alternative. I had heard so many good things about natural remedies over the years and wanted to give that a try first. She didn’t think it could hurt, but she also didn’t believe it would work.

I spent the next two weeks reading about changing one’s diet and exercise, then I found a forum on depression. A gal had turned to Sam-e for the same reason I was looking—to avoid the chemical side effects of anti-depressants and to get healthy. She claimed that Sam-e worked better than the anti-depressants she had been on for the past 8 or so years and highly recommended it.

So off I went to learn more about Sam-e. I learned that…

• Sam-e, short for S-adenosylmethionine, is made in the body naturally and those with extremely low doses can suffer depression.
• It is made from the amino acid, methionine.
• It is a natural anti-inflammatory and an antioxidant, and aides in the production of neurotransmitters.
• It has been known to relieve the symptoms of depression (low mood, mood swings, fatigue, anxiety, and stress) but it does not happen overnight. It can take anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks to see any difference.
• It was developed in France and had been used for nearly 20 years before the U.S. government felt a formula was stable enough to be sold in the United States.
• It is vitally important to choose a reliable manufacturer to make sure that you’re truly getting 100% S-adenosylmethionine and not some by-product.
• Enteric coated tablets are a necessity because you want the tablet to break down in the intestine, not the stomach where it would be rendered useless.
• It must be taken on an empty stomach so it’s best to take it when you first wake up—thirty minutes before your first meal of the day.
• While it relieves the symptoms of depression, one may still need to see a therapist to deal with underlying issues that caused the depression in the first place—unless of course, it’s simply a chemical imbalance in the brain.
• Some people may need to take a traditional anti-depressant in conjunction with Sam-e but should only do so under the strict guidance of a medical practitioner because the side-effects can be severe.
• It is not safe for anyone suffering from bi-polar disorder as it causes mania.
• Side effects are mild but can consist of gastritis and/or an upset stomach followed by nausea.
• It doesn’t appear to conflict with other medications but it is strongly advised that you double check the compatibility/safety of combining a daily regimen of Sam-e with your prescriptions drugs with a licensed pharmacist or medical practitioner.

In the end, I concluded that Sam-e was a safe bet—for me. Based upon many recommendations from medical literature, I chose 400 mg of Sam-e Complete™ by Nature Made.

What I like about this particular product is that it comes from a reliable source, is enteric-coated, is packaged in blister packs so that the tablets remain stable and free from moisture, and that I am getting a full dose of S-adenosylmethionine.

At first, I didn’t notice any change and wondered if the Sam-e was working. I even worried that I wasted $45—which was nothing compared to the $135 the anti-depressants would’ve cost! But by week three I noticed that my mood swings seemed to be more controllable, that I was waking up without that sense of dread, and the anxiety seemed to be lifting.

Today, 45 days later, I almost feel like a new person! I sat down to write this weekend and did not shed one tear! I wasn’t struggling to make sense of what I was reading, the words were comprehensible, and while I still struggle a little with getting my thoughts onto paper, it no longer takes me two hours to write something that used to take me a half hour to write!

Will it work for you, too? I honestly cannot say. Talk it over with your doctor and/or therapist. All I can tell you is that it is currently working for me and I cannot be more pleased!

Oh, and one more thing. It does not cure insomnia. But I figure that as long as I get eight hours of sleep every day, who cares what time I go to be and what time I wake up—after all, I’m still a work-at-home mom!

Give thanks…

And I have to tell you that it was the best decision I could have made for myself.

I had been burning the lamp at both ends since 2001, adding more and more to my plate with each passing year and never giving myself a break—never fully appreciating what I had accomplished. Never truly seeing what was right in front of me; always seeking to be better, to do better, to reach yet another goal and all the while trying to find some type of balance.

That balance, however, always came with a cost because it was always a balance between work and family. There was never any “me” time and there was definitely never any “down” time. I suppose it didn’t help that I was a control freak who liked to make sure that everyone’s lives were running as smoothly as possible, even if that meant I went without.

Now, I know that not everyone can manage to take two months off from work—and truth-be-told, we really couldn’t afford it either. But after battling a very strenuous year in our personal lives, it was truly essential to my mental well-being—and quite possibly, my physical well-being, too.

I knew that if I was going to move forward with my life and move beyond the depression, I was going to have to just stop and “rest”. So I talked it over with my husband and got his blessing.

A Happy Moment © Nico Edrich, 2009

It wasn’t a difficult decision considering my business had nearly tanked due to the economy and local jobs are scarce. I had one of two choices: use the time to re-coop or stress myself out trying to save a dying business. It was also no surprise when my husband said, “Do what you need to do to feel better. Do what you need to do to find some peace. We’ll find a way to make it work, we always do.” We’ve always supported each other when life altering changes were necessary for our own, personal well-beings.

At first, doing absolutely nothing was hard. I felt guilty for not working and found myself applying for jobs I knew I’d hate—just to have a steady paycheck again and because that’s all there was in the area—and feeling extreme relief when they filled the spot without ever calling me in for an interview. Then I found myself apologizing every time there wasn’t much left after we paid the bills. Then I found myself downsizing our “junk” and feeling such peace about the process that I soon began restructuring and reorganizing our home, and two months later I’m still at it—husband’s even gotten in on the act of unloading our “junk” via Craigslist, “we buy used” shops, and garage sales.

In the two months that I haven’t worked, I’ve discovered that:

• asking for help is not a sign of weakness,
• life goes on whether you participate in it or not,
• most “urgent” or “do now” tasks on a to do list can wait,
• it is vitally important that we have down time to do absolutely nothing,
• it’s not the end of the world if everything isn’t put back in its proper place or there’s a load of laundry waiting to be folded,
• we waste tons of money buying crap we’ll only use once simply because an ad got the better of us or it looked cool or it filled a void at the time,
• expecting too much of ourselves can cause us to be too uptight and no fun to be around, and
• knowing success doesn’t always come in dollars and cents is hard to believe when the world keeps cramming that point down our throats.

And I have learned that happiness truly does come from within.

As much as we’d like to believe that happiness comes from the people that surround us, a location, a job, material possessions, or even wealth, it doesn’t. True happiness comes from how we perceive things. It’s not circumstantial. It’s how we choose to live our lives despite the circumstances. It’s about finding the blessings that surround us each and every day and acknowledging them. It’s about appreciating the here and now and not about looking to the future or living in the past. It’s about sharing the load with those that matter most, and not taking on the world alone. It’s about realizing that perfectionism is overrated and success truly is in the “eye of the beholder” and it’s time we stop letting outside forces dictate otherwise.

For the first time in over a year, I feel as though I can breathe again and I have no intention of jumping back into my old way of life. I like the freedom that comes from living without so many high expectations and I hope that in time I will grow to truly love myself again.

Give thanks…

Here’s my second batch of wildlife magnets.

Parrot Magnets © Alyice Edrich, 2009
Buy a wildlife magnet

And…

Reptile Magnets © Alyice Edrich, 2009
Buy a wildlife magnet

Keep Creating…