Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.

Please Update Your EMAIL Now

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Mon, 20 May 2013 03:43:00 +0000

-Josh-

This is not our normal blog post. This post is an update of sorts that is long overdue for our blog audience. Most of you at this point read our blogs when you receive an email. This is hugely convenient and we have more than 700 subscribers at this point.

However, if you want to continue getting these updates we need you to update your email. Go to www.alysfight.blogspot.com or click here.

This blog is assuming that most of you are reading this as an email so here are some things we need for you to know about and then do so that you can continue to see these updates.

1) We updated the layout of our blog to make it more user-friendly. You can see it here.

2) There are over 700 people that receive our blog updates through email. If you want this to continue we need you take a minute and update your email. Click here and you will be taken to the blog where you can update your email.

3) We now have a facebook page for Aly's Fight. You can see it here.

4) We now have a website for Aly's Fight also, you can see it here.

5) Aly and I both are back on Twitter. You can follow Aly at @alytaylorla and then mine is @joshtaylorla.

We thank you so much for all the kind words that we continue to receive from you guys. We understand that we are blessed even in the middle of our ongoing fight.

Thank you,

Josh

Moments.

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Sat, 04 May 2013 13:21:00 +0000

-Aly-

Our life is full of moments. Moments we treasure. Moments we despise. There are even moments we re-live. There are some days that a certain smell will hit me and it will take me back into a moment as if I were experiencing it right then and there. Common moments may be your wedding day, or hearing the news of a lost loved one, a baby being born, or maybe even just affirming words from someone. Well, needless to say, this last year and a half has been full of moments for me. Moments I'll never forget. Some moments I wish I could forget- others I wish I could bask in: Hearing I had breast cancer, our "send off blessing night" that our church had for us as we headed to MDA, waiting during my unnerving ultrasounds, hearing my fertility chances were low, seeing my husband struggle to function, my last chemo, the night before my mastectomy, Dr. Litton giving me my clear pathology, the list goes on and on. The ironic thing is that many of my "moments" haven't been these huge milestones listed above. It would be too complicated and too long to explain, but many of the moments I have experienced along this journey were moments ordained by God that maybe didn't look so huge to others on the outside.

John 15:16
"You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name."

I had another moment just a couple days ago. We were in Houston for my oncology check-up and my plastic surgery check-up. As I've described before, I feel such a connection with my plastic surgery team. At this point, they have done 4 major surgeries on me and I know I've had to have had over 30 appointments with them through my expansions and check-ups. I sent Dr. Villa a picture collage after my last surgery that was entitled "Thank you for putting me back together." It had several pictures of me and I showed my progression to where he has helped me get. I hadn't talked to him since I sent him this. I also sent my PA some flowers for V-day. These people are so special to me...

Well, when Dr. Villa came in my room on Tuesday, he loved on me and said he cried when he got my package. He of course asked me all of the doctor questions and then took tons of pictures of me- from every angle. There I am standing with my shirt off and he just says "You look beautiful." I know this may sound so simple, but to have a man, that isn't my husband say that is pretty indescribable. It isn't creepy or weird. It it like a dad looking at his daughter, with all her imperfections and being in awe. He is very "father-like" and super kind and compassionate...remind me some of my dad, so I I'm sure that plays into feeling so validated by him. After he took my pictures, I put my shirt on so he could see how I looked in a shirt. He just kept hugging me. I started to cry and once again told them thank you for all they have done for me. There we were all crying in that hospital room, like we have many times before. Then we all walk out of the room with red noses and wet faces as if I received bad news. But no, it's because we love each other and have an unspeakable bond that comes from vulnerability and trust. I don't think I can adequately express this moment. A moment that is forever ingrained in my mind and heart. The power of a moment...

I literally cried for over an hour after my appointment. Josh had left to go on a trip after my oncology appointment, which gave me some good alone time with God. As I was still in MDA, at Whole foods, at homegoods, driving in my car-- I was crying so hard and just soaking in the moment I had with Dr. Villa and Alisha--thanking God for putting these people it my life. It is still hard to put into words or explain...So I just cry.

This is me waiting for my plastic appointment. We get some fancy robes:)

Another moment came on Monday when we met with Dr. Litton and she said that all of my symptoms don't concern her. This is what I was praying for. She was pleased with how I was doing and the next time I see her will be August 19th. She scheduled all of my scans on the 18th (these are the scans she wants to run before trying for baby) and then I will see her the following day. God answered my prayers by allowing us to schedule these scans and having her unconcerned with everything. She encouraged many things for my back pain, so we will look into those options as well. Another moment--hugging my hubby in the room after Litton leaves, as we do after each visit and thanking God for continuing to show his faithfulness in my body---

Psalm 89:1
"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations."

After my perfect oncology check-up

During my plastic surgery appointment Tuesday, we talked about what else needed to be done to complete my reconstruction. There are still a few nips and tucks that are needed non-surgically and we discussed those. We also discussed the possibility of another surgery. Because one breast has been radiated and one has not, the radiated one does not drop like a normal breast does, so Dr. Villa suggested possibly doing a lift on my non-radiated side to make it a bit more symmetrical before we do the finishing touches. This possible surgery could also flatten some of my drain scars and take out some skin that bothers me under my armpits (where my lat flap muscle is pulled under). So we are praying about what to do, but I feel peace either way. Please pray for us on this.

So obviously a huge moment for us was when we received my clear pathology last year that the doctors were doubtful would come to pass. That was on April 30, 2012. That was a HUGE moment. Praise God that my healing has been made evident for 1 whole year! I will never forget Dr. Litton saying that my pathology was perfect...seeing her giddy face...Josh breaking down... and her not really having much else to say. She explained that she normally could go over different things, but because it was clear, she didn't have much else to say. What an incredible day... an incredible moment. It has been one whole year!!! My first doctor, Dr. Morrow (the one who moved in the middle of my treatment to California) posted this comment on my blog after learning of my clear pathology:

"I talked to Dr. Litton today and cried on hearing the wonderful news! God is so good! I thank God with all of my heart for the wonderful results and for putting you and Josh in my life and blessing with me with the opportunity to be your doctor. With great love, PK Morrow" Another incredible moment...

So, my next appointments (not considering if I have another surgery) are scheduled for June 19th, which are check ups with my radiation doctor and surgical oncologist. I will have X-rays and ultrasounds done at these appointments so please already start praying for perfect results from these. Please continue praying for my back pain. I had a back MRI last week and it showed a bulging disk on my L5-S1, so I'm relieved to know what is causing the pain, but it is still tough. Also, now that we have a date for all my scans, be praying for August 18...clear in Jesus' name. I will update soon.

Enjoy the video below that we made right after I received my pathology results, 1 year ago, a week after my mastectomy surgery.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EBRQoE2l9I

I got to stop by Shreveport on my way home and was able to love on my sweet nephew, Liam

Encouraging you to treasure and notice the moments,

Aly

Mastectomy April 23,2012. One year ago today.

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 18:04:00 +0000

So apparently Josh and I were posting on the blog at the same time today and didn't know it, so we just combined our two posts into one.

-Josh-

As I sit here today thinking about what we were doing this time last year I am in some sort of awe at time passing.

I just went and read the first blog post from this day last year and it is surreal to mentally go back there. I described the room we went in and then Dr. Babiera coming in and talking to us after her part of the surgery.

This morning I woke up next to my beautiful wife's alarm going off. She left for work and school and I did the same. Even being the ones that went through it doesn't make it any less crazy. 12 months ago how different life looked. It was easy to concentrate on what mattered because it was in front of my face.

Today at Chick-fil-A where I ate lunch all is normal. I sat there thinking if this is what is going through my brain right now I wonder what is going through some of these other people's brains.

We are beyond blessed to be where we are in this moment but to think what has happened in the last 12 months since the Mastectomy is a bit overwhelming. Including the mastectomy Aly has had 4 Major surgeries that have drastically influenced our life and her well being.

Today Aly wore a blue and white-ish dress and looked amazing. Needless to say as she left the house this morning I could not stop thinking how blessed we are that instead of being in a hospital bed this evening she will will come home and we will be in our bed in West Monroe, LA.

We have a front row seat to God working on our behalf in Aly's body.

Just for reminders- this is Aly right after her mastectomy. We could not cool her down. They wouldn't give her water and she was not feeling good. No fun this day.

This is one of my favorite pictures. She was sleeping so hard the glasses just stayed almost where they were. For weeks she had to sleep sitting up.

Very quickly the smiling Aly was back, drains and all.

Today I also know there is a man in Houston, TX that is in the exact same spot I was last year. His wife or daughter is in surgery and he is just waiting. I don't know if I believed life would go on. Today though at about 6:30am Aly woke up and began what most people would consider a normal day. Life has gone on. We don't look, act, think or feel the same but daily we are trusting that God will fulfill his promise to us.

I continue to realize I am incredibly blessed to have Aly as my wife. I would sign up 100 times over with full knowledge of what we have been through. Aly's dogged determination which shows up in a daily walk with Christ that continues to push me to get closer to Christ has been much of the push that has enabled this version of the Taylor's to be where we are today.

-Aly-

I remember a particular beach trip when I was probably in about 7th grade and I thought my sister was gorgeous ( and I still do). I remember seeing her in her swimsuit and how she filled out the top perfectly. Me, on the other hand was as skinny as a rail and flat as a board. I remember praying, literally praying to God that I would have a chest like my sister. I remember my friend, Erin and I, getting training bras from Limited Too around this same time. I had NO business getting a training bra, but all my friends needed them and I wanted to feel older too. To me, it was a huge part of what made a woman beautiful, at that time.

It took me longer to develop than most girls my age. I always thought I was flat chested and saw myself as that. It was as if one day when I was in the 10th grade, I immediately had breasts! I didn't feel like the skinny, flat chested girl, but was starting to feel like a woman. I finally filled out bras, swimsuits, and shirts looked better on me. My body began to change and I definitely was not that 7th grade girl anymore. I remember my family asking me if I had taken Bloussant (remember those advertisements for breast enhancement?! ha ha) because it was as if I developed overnight. It definitely boosted my confidence- not only that I had breasts, but overall didn't feel like a little girl anymore. I knew even then that God saw me as a beautiful woman even before I "developed" but I definitely felt more beautiful with my new body.

So, fast forward to October 17th, 2011. I had been married for 5 years to Josh and we learn I have breast cancer. On October 18th, our doctor in town says that he would recommend a double mastectomy as quickly as possible. Those breasts that I had prayed for could be taken away. What I saw as beautiful when I was a little girl could be stripped away from me. I desired to me a wife that is talked about in Proverbs 5:18-20, and I felt that I could no longer be that.

Proverbs 5:18-20

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love."

What transpired in the next several months was nothing short of God, my father, carrying me and reminding me how beautiful and precious I was. I remember sitting at MD Anderson and Josh and I talking about the possibility of having a mastectomy. Josh did not waver once about me having it done. I remember us both crying and him telling me, "I think I will be even more attracted to you. Every time we look at you, it will just be a reminder of what the devil tried to do and how God healed you." This was the beginning of me seeing beauty in a different light.

I spoke to the West Ridge Middle School FCS this past week, and I spoke a little on beauty and how God has shown me what true beauty is. It is not what I saw in my sister when I was in 7th grade, although she was and is beautiful. It is a pure and clean heart, with a gentle and quiet spirit. Sadly, it wasn't until I was forced to not have hair and the breasts that might "define" my womanhood ripped away that I learned what true beauty was.

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4

I have so many scars on my body. My 15 drain scars, my big lat flap scars on my back , my port scar, and many scars on my chest. I am reminded every day when I look in the mirror of where my true beauty comes from. I see where God sewed me back together and used what Satan tried to harm me with and turned it for His and my good. Not many people can look in the mirror every morning and tangibly see how God has saved them from death. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful that my heavenly Father finds me beautiful. I am grateful that my husband finds me beautiful. I am grateful that I can look at my scarred, broken, and imperfect self and know I am more beautiful than I ever was.

1 Sam 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Today, I remember how God supernaturally protected me from fear before and during my mastectomy surgery. I remember Josh and I not sleeping the night before. I was nervous, but not scared. I remember the plethora of texts, emails, blog comments, pictures I received the day of my surgery. I remember my family members and amazing friends that came to Houston for my surgery. I remember waking up feeling on fire and Josh putting ice rags all over me. I remember my mouth being so dry and Ainsley putting chap stick on me. I remember seeing a group of my friends and family once I was moved to my own room. I was so nauseous and wanted to thank everyone for coming, but just felt horrible. Needing help to do anything--drinking water, walking to the bathroom, getting my toilet paper, emptying my drains... It is a humbling experience to not be able to do anything for yourself.

I then remember coming home the next day--WOW God!!! I remember feeling a little better slowly. I remember really weird things, like my tank tops kept falling off my shoulders, because nothing was there to hold them up- weird stuff like that that I didn't even expect to happen. But most of all, I remember being thankful to have had no complications, and I knew we would soon get amazing results from the tissue taken from my surgery. I so longed for the day to deemed "cancer-free."

So, I will always remember April 23, 2012, as it was a day that I was face to face with what defines beauty. One year later, I am thankful for this terrible surgery. I am healed and it took this surgery for doctors and everyone else to have evidence of it...Another milestone reached, another day remembered, another challenge to take on. I am altogether beautiful.

"You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7

Some pictures from my mastectomy surgery, 1 year ago, below...

About to have my mastectomy surgery

Getting set up for the mastectomy

When I was finally brought back to my room. So nauseous...

This was the first time I looked in the mirror. My straps kept falling down.

I also had to wear the tights on my legs to prevent clotting.

It's still April?!?

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 14:25:00 +0000

--Aly--

Gosh. It is just the middle of April, and I feel like April should be coming to a close. In a way that is good, because things have been a little calmer for the Taylor's, but in a way, I am ready for April to speed by, as each month is a huge milestone for me.Still learning to live each day without rushing them by.

Here are some pictures from our Spring Break trip to the beach.

We had such a relaxing time. I am so thankful for my husband in many ways, but one of the ways is that he is my best friend- TRULY! We have so much fun together- whether it's doing activities, or just doing nothing, we just enjoy each others company. I am so grateful for that. We had a wonderful time at the beach besides....shingles. Yes, that's right, I was diagnosed with SHINGLES! Crazy huh?! While we were at the beach, I had lots of shooting pain, numbness, itching, burning, skin sensitivity on my back and side, then a rash on my back. We went to a doctor while at the beach, and we finally discovered it was shingles. This explains my massive headaches and a lot of the weird sensations I was having. I was of course relieved to know it was shingles, but just so mad and aggravated at the devil for using such crazy things to try and DE-rail me. Won't work. Won't ever work. Definitely put a damper on our trip though.

So, I'm getting over that and feeling much better, but still dealing with low back pain. Still struggling with this a lot, but God has given me much more peace about it. I have been exercising on a stationary bike and I tried swimming this weekend. It was like a child having to re-learn to swim, with my back muscles and chest muscles feeling so different. I'm sure it was funny to watch. Josh instructing me how to swim...my breathing like I had just swam miles...and the pool being 58 degrees. Funny to say the least. But we are learning and trying new things, so that I can still exercise with my back issues.

I learned that I passed my PhD comprehensive exams, which is huge for me, and am now continuing to work on my dissertation proposal. We will head to Houston in 2 weeks for my 3 month oncology check-up (April 29 and 30), followed by a reconstructive check up. Please be praying now that Dr. Litton remains unconcerned with me and my symptoms. We are looking forward to this Houston trip, as we will be able to go to our favorite Houston stops and see our Houston family, the Stanfills.

I am reminded of how small my problems are when the tragedy hit Boston yesterday. My heart has been broken for this city and those affected. Please join me in continued prayers of so many people who are hurting. I know what it is like to suffer, in a much different way, of course. But because I have felt devastation, I feel a connection with those that are devastated- no matter what kind of devastation they are facing. We need you Jesus.

Please, please continue to pray for me. We will update after my appointments if not before. I have more peace about my back pain, but it is still hard to live in pain. I have been so blessed to not have had to live with a constant pain ever before. One of my amazing friends, Christi, sent me this scripture this morning:

"Consider it great joy, my brothers whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its COMPLETE WORK, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing" James 1:2-4

She text me this scripture and said that maybe the struggles and pains that I am still experiencing are a part of endurance doing its COMPLETE work. I want to be complete, lacking nothing, and this could just be another test of faith. I will continue to stand on my confession of faith of my healing, with pain or without. Striving to be patient, but of course wanting relief! I know the relief is coming. I've experienced bits of it and am trusting my back will feel much better soon. Thank you for continuing to join me in prayer.

My friends are incredible. I still get texts, emails, and phone calls from friends that lift me up and still understand I am struggling each day. One of my dear friends, Alicia, told me that she thought of me as she watched the Bible series on the history channel. On one of the episodes, it is the lady that touches Jesus' clothes and she is healed. (I missed this episode) Alicia said that Jesus grabbed her face and said "You are healed." She told me, "Aly, Jesus has held your face, looked into it and said, "You are healed."" There is no need to worry. This really challenged me, because if God tangibly grabbed my face and spoke those words to me, I wouldn't question...and that IS what he did. Oh the grace He has for me! So forgiving, so faithful, so true...

Thank you to all who continue to remind me of God's healing. In him I hope, trust, believe, and live.

ALL MY HOPE IS IN YOU GOD!

Here are some pictures from relay for life that was this weekend. This is my 2nd year to attend this event. Last year, we went a week after my mastectomy and I had all 5 drains hidden under my baggy t-shirt. This year, no one is staring at me, I have hair, and a small t-shirt with no drains. Praise God! I don't know if I will ever be able to comprehend all that Jesus has delivered me from, but I will try!

Expectant for great doctor's reports,

Aly

Pressing on...

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 22:00:00 +0000

-Aly-

So much has happened in the last few weeks. First off, the "Fight Like a Mom" event was amazing! Pathway Church in Mobile is an incredible church, and the ladies there were awesome. The event was great (Rhonda and her team are awesome, seriously!). We had great praise and worship, heard amazing (when I say amazing, I mean AMAZING) testimonies, we spoke, ladies prayed for others at the altar and left encouraged and uplifted. God definitely calmed our nerves about speaking. When we first tried to come up with what we wanted to share...it was well over 2 hours. We squeezed that down to about 45 minutes and took out HUGE parts. But we prayed that God would give us the words HE wanted us to share, and we feel He did that. The hardest part was the preparation as we had to re-live our toughest moments while sharing our story...God was glorified and we believe we obeyed him by sharing.

The women there encouraged me as much as I've ever been encouraged. One woman (who God miraculously enabled her to get pregnant) came up to me and said ,"God and I are carrying your burden for pregnancy. You don't have to carry it. I will be praying for you until we see that miracle baby." WOW..tears flowing.... These were the kinds of things that the women were saying to me. They were expectant for God to continue showing His healing in my life and speaking that to me. Just what I needed to hear. It really is true that when you bless others, you will end up blessed.

There were so many pictures and videos taken that night. Some of my awesome friends and family came to support us- Josh's parents, my mom and Mr. Joey, some of my extended family members, Margot, Ainsley, and my friends, Alicia and Erin surprised me!!! It was definitely comforting to know there were those in the audience who were not only supporting me, but who lived out this past year and a half alongside us.

I will post more pics as we get them, but here are a few from the "Fight Like a Mom" Event.

We have of course experienced attacks from the devil, which has been terrible. We believe this has much to do with our sharing our story on March 17th. Much back pain and head pain. You all know now that my brain MRI came back clear- praise God! I KNOW it was an attack from the devil, which just makes me so mad at him. It was a pain I have never felt before in my head...just to scare me and have me doubt. I continue to know I am healed, and he just keeps trying to scare me. It is so frustrating to have emotions waver so much. I have to continue trusting the TRUTH and not my emotions. I am learning the the devil loves to attack me physically (with pains) and then my emotions. I am learning that often times sin starts with emotions; therefore, I can't trust my emotions- they can often lead to sin. The ONLY thing I am sure of is God and His word, so that is what I will hold to.

In the last few weeks, I have finished my PhD comps!!! I have yet to receive my grade, but I am so thankful they are over. I am still working on completing my dissertation proposal draft, but it is getting exciting that my PhD course work is almost done.

I am on my Spring Break and we are at the beach!!! Just Josh and I have come to the beach and I don't think I have ever needed a "get-away" more. I know there are people in the world that are struggling with things much more serious than we are, but to have a few days to rest and relax outside of our normal world has been such a blessing for the Taylors. We have a few more days here--rainy today, but rain or shine-we are thankful for time away. We are so thankful for the generosity of those who make this possible.

Last year for my Spring Break, we came to the beach and we have been reflecting on how much has changed since last year. I remember being so self-conscious with my bald head, no fingernails/toenails, and my port...this year, no one would even know I used to be sick...so overwhelming and we have much to be thankful for. We have been using this time to rest and to come up with goals for ourselves- with God, in life, in our relationships, etc...We are more determined than ever to be purposeful with how we live the life God has blessed us with.

I am still struggling with back pain. It is definitely getting better...Praise the Lord, but I have definitely been sympathetic toward those who struggle with back pain. It literally affects everything. I think it all started when I overdid it with my workouts. I have stopped exercising with my personal trainer and have been taking a "break." I have mostly been walking, riding the stationary bike, and stretching. For anyone who knows me, this has been SO hard. I love to be active and it has been a struggle to not be able to run and exercise like I want to. I know God is teaching me something through all of this. I am trusting and praying I can get back to being more active...just trying not to push it too much.

Thank you all for praying for me. Josh has been amazing these past few weeks. Praying for me when I've needed it (which has been A LOT), praying for me in the middle of the night, anointing me with oil, and continuing to remind me I am healed. I am so blessed. Our friends and family continue to stand in the gap for us.

While at the "Fight Like a Mom" event, we met another girl (Chastity) who will win her fight with breast cancer. I knew it was time to get rid of my wigs (I have two), so I sent her one of them, along with a breast cancer pin another survivor gave me during treatment. I was to pass it on to another survivor. So thankful to be able to pass these off, but it was definitely hard for me to do- a sign of me releasing my faith and pressing on to what's ahead.

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead" Phil. 3:13

Here are some pics of me with my wig and the pin I passed on to Chastity.

This was a picture I took during chemo last year. I was so nervous to wear this wig in public. Now it's passed on to another survivor:)

Here is the wig and pin right before I boxed it up to send to Chastity. Won't ever need this again, in Jesus' name.

Beach pictures and "Fight Like a Mom' pictures to come. Please continue praying for my "pains" to go away, and for me to continue putting my trust and faith in God and His word.

Trusting,

Aly

1 year ago...and today

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Sat, 30 Mar 2013 18:32:00 +0000

The last few weeks have been rough as you can tell from Josh's posts. His faith has carried me these last few weeks. I plan on posting later this week to fill you in on how God has sustained us through these rough weeks. But just to let you know, my pains led to a brain MRI which was CLEAR! Thank you Jesus. Still struggling with back and head pain, but so thankful for the clear results. I will update you on more in a few days but today I want to remember 1 year ago- March 30, 2012.

1 year ago, I was receiving my last chemotherapy treatment

1 year ago, I was SO weak- His strength was made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9)

1 year ago, I was scared- trusting in my healing, but it not being evident just yet

1 year ago, I still had "my" body...realizing my body was soon to be "deformed"... learning that my beauty comes from Christ (1 Peter 3:3)

1 year ago, I was celebrating in tears and thankfulness

This verse has been life to me lately, as I've been depending on it.

"Those who plant in tears

will harvest with shouts of joy.

⁶

They weep as they go to plant their seed,

but they sing as they return with the harvest." Psalm 126:5-6

TODAY, I have had a "normal", relaxing Saturday

TODAY, I am SO weak- His strength is made perfect

TODAY, I am scared- trusting in my healing- IT HAS BEEN MADE EVIDENT!!!

TODAY, my body is "deformed", but I KNOW my beauty comes from Christ

TODAY, I celebrate in tears and thankfulness (Psalm 126:5-6)

Whether my cup is full or when my cup is dry, I realize how desperate I am for God. March 30th is a day to celebrate. How God has filled my cup in countless ways!!!

What perfect timing for Resurrection Sunday?!? As I celebrate Christ's resurrection, I realize what that meant for me...forgiveness, victory, God's sovereignty, fulfillment of prophesies/promises, evidence that Jesus is the son of God, and the list goes on and on. As I celebrate Jesus' life raised from the dead, I celebrate him raising my life up from the dead.

OH PRAISE THE ONE WHO PAID MY DEBT AND

RAISED THIS LIFE UP FROM THE DEAD!!!

I've re-posted the video that Josh made me for my last chemotherapy treatment, 1 year ago. In awe of my amazingly good God.

Have a wonderful Easter celebrating our risen Lord and Savior,

Aly

Publicly Re-Committing to this War. A God war.

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 05:30:00 +0000

These last few days we have been at war with nothing other than a tangible attack of hell/satan/demons (pick one). Aly has been having some physical symptoms that are putting her at a point of fear that is as strong as we have dealt with in the past 17 months.

If I'm not careful this post could literally be the longest post I've made so I will get to the point.

When this journey started it was as if you dropped me in a room of bad guys and I just started swinging. I didn't know what for sure I was aiming at or what I planned to do to it but I was just attempting to fight. As I re-read some of our first post I can feel what those days were like. Below are parts of posts that we made the first week of Aly's diagnosis.

October 26th, 2011

Aly- "Lord have mercy on me. See how my enemies torment me. Snatch me back from the jaws of death. Save me so I can praise you publicly at Jerusalem's gates, so I can rejoice that you have rescued me." Psalm 9:13-14

October 27th, 2011
Josh- The God that put us here will deliver us.

October 28th, 2011

Josh- Cancer: today my wife begins physical war with you, this is not a lady you want any part of-fierce, determined, steadfast, persevering. I look forward to watching her beat you.

At this point though the enemy is crystal clear in my mind. I know him well. We have had many conversations which changes the score completely. satan/hell/demons, you have come against my wife. We knew that when we began affecting other peoples lives with GODS story of HEALING my wife that you would come full force at us. you are talented. HOWEVER...

Jesus said in Luke 10:18-19

¹⁸“Yes,” he told them, “I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning! ¹⁹Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.

Deuteronomy 31:8
⁸Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

⁸Isaiah 58: 8-9a
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness^[a] will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
⁹Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Here is an excerpt from a blog Aly had started before she was diagnosed. This was written on September 1, 2011 (48 days before diagnosis).

In the book of Job, Satan comes before the Lord and God points out his faithful servant, Job. It is then when Satan suggests that Job will abandon his faith that the Lord challenges that and sets out to prove him wrong. There is such a huge significance of Satan appearing before the Lord. This shows us that he (yes, even Satan) is under the divine control of God. He cannot act on his own, but must receive permission from God- wow! As scary as it might be to think that Satan is constantly trying to throw us off, it is also comforting knowing that he is not independent of God's control. In just this first bit of Job, we see that Satan causes bad things to happen to us, but it is God who allows it to happen. The Lord helps us in the midst of our struggle that He allows, in order to deliver us and conquer our enemies- once again proving his sovereignty over the world and the devil!

God was prepping Aly for the attack.

In closing,

satan/hell/demons you have no place in our life. As my wife sleeps right now I rebuke you from touching her in any way. Fear, pain which seem to be your items of choice for now, be gone from my wife in the name of JESUS. There is no place for you here. I commit only through Gods help to cover her. Aly WILL be like a FRUITFUL GRAPEVINE planted within MY home. That's the B-I-B-L-E (spell it out, it sounds better).

As a great man once said when asked by an adversary, "how big a boy are you?" well I'm about 5'5" (depends on the shoes) and 141 lbs dripping wet, I'm small but I'm wiry.

I understand I can't stand up to hell/satan/demons alone. I just so happen to have help and my intent is to speak that into life. Jesus, I understand we cannot fight the power of darkness alone with physical threats (though it is fun) so I am asking you to rebuke the attack on my wife. You have control over satan/ hell/ demons and I believe you have, you are and you will remove them from our life. As you said in Deut 31:8 that you will neither fail or abandon us. We are resting on your promises.

hell/satan/demons
God is working in our lives to refine us for HIS purposes. Just today I had my schedule cleared up even more. hell/satan/ demons- WE (GOD and me) have re-declared incase you forgot that we do understand what is at stake and due to that we will DESPERATELY be on the attack against you.

Pay attention here, this is big. All the previous comments by me are about the attack I plan against evil. Those are worldly responses by a wounded, hurt man. I am leaving them there as visible proof that God is clearing my mind of me and what I want to do for my wife. Once again, get out of the way Josh. This is not a weight you are to carry. Give it over. THE attack will not be at satan/hell/demons from me but a move from me toward further full devotion to God. I will rest under Gods mighty hand. God, who controls hell/satan/demons is waging war toward them on our behalf. I am asking God to act in a mighty way in the coming hours as Aly sleeps. Please wage war on evil that would attack her, give Aly rest. I rebuke you hell/satan/demon in the name of JESUS. there is no place in our life, house, bed or in my wife's body.

Thank you for sending your son to die for our sins that we may have eternal life. We accept your promises, we will live in them. Just as you chose Job for satan to test because you knew what would come of that, Aly is the same. God please continue to mold us for YOUR plan.

We don't have it figured out but we are desperate for you GOD.

Pathway Church/ Life

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 07:07:00 +0000

The last few weeks have been intense for us. It all started to get crazy when one of the ladies Aly has followed through treatment had a reoccurrence. To describe what this kind of news can do to us and especially Aly would be impossible.

At that point we had committed to speak at an event in Mobile, AL at Pathway church. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that once we agreed to do that event that we put a bullseye on us for satan to attack. He is very good and he came full on against Aly in the week leading up to the event in Mobile. Aly's back hurt as bad as it has at any point and then Aly and I were not at a high point in our marriage for that week or so. We love each other like crazy but when you put together all the elements we were dealing with all I can say is life was interesting.

The event we spoke at was called Fight Like a Mom, round 2. The people at the event were amazing. They have a group of women that meet every week for what they call moms prayer group. These moms get together and place their needs in a bucket and someone sends those out to the women in the group and for that week every women prays over every need every day. I myself can tell you that without my mom praying over me everyday I could have made life more interesting than I already did. And to verify how interesting I made life you can ask a few past teachers, McCurry, Worley, Dawson, Osbon (those are the only ones I'm telling you because they still like me).

After hearing all of the things that have come to pass just in the last year that they have been praying for needless to say Aly and I will be putting our names in their bucket when it comes to baby time. It won't be a matter of if but when. These ladies are believing God wants to act on their behalf.

We had a great time sharing our story Sunday night and we certainly pray that we shared what we were supposed to. Aly and I laughed when told my parents that we were really having to cut a lot of the story out due to time and they said well now you're just down to the nuts and bolts. Well we laughed and said oh no, there are nuts and bolts we cut out a long time ago because needless to say we could talk for hours if needed about the last 17 months.

The hard part about sharing our story is the fact that we are re-living some of the worst moments of our life. Moments where we truly struggled to know whether or not Aly would be healed, whether we would have children. Telling stories about how serious the doctors told us our situation was. In essence we were speaking the very information that the devil was, is and will try and use to strike fear and doubt into us.

Thursday afternoon we were in Gulf Shores and Aly and I went to watch Safe Haven. Needless to say we had NO IDEA what this movie was about. The short version is the dad has two kids and this new girl comes through and they begin dating. You learn pretty early that the mom had died of cancer. You then also see that she had written letters to her kids for when they graduated, married, had kids and other things. At the very end when they decided to get married the new girl is sitting on a swing outside the house and the husband walks out and hands her an envelope. To this point Aly and I had not looked at each other or said anything about the fact that the mom had passed away from cancer. So this dad walks out and hands his new wife an envelope that says "to her" (written from wife that passed away). At this moment Aly and I become audible basket cases. Thank goodness it was only us and one older couple in the theater.

I probably can't tell you how that connects to us. The reason it connects so heavily is because those are the thoughts that you go through in our situation. In part of the talk that we would be giving Sunday night Aly spoke about her dealing with guilt for our situation. She talked about at times not knowing if she even wanted to have a baby because then if there were a problem that she would be leaving me as a single dad. These conversations are wrenching.They are heartbreaking to talk about and even think about but for us it is reality. We cried loudly and then in another moment that would simply swamp anyone else but my wife Aly leans over and prays-asks-speaks-believes God that this will not be us and that she WILL LIVE.

Just as we told the ladies Sunday night, we are fighting like crazy to be desperate for God but not live either in ditch or on the mountain top. We have ditch moments which make us very happy for the mountaintop moments.

So now we are back home and trying to continue finding our new normal. Aly is going to turn in her last test tomorrow morning. She drove to see her sister in Shreveport tonight/ tomorrow.

Psalm 128
Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine flourishing within your home.

This verse is life to me.

Finding balance in the busy

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 18:48:00 +0000

It has been wonderful being home for a while. It has been about a month since we've been in Houston, and that in and of itself is weird. We miss our second family, the Stanfills and Houston. It's nice to actually look forward to going back to Houston... But we have LOVED being home. Things have been super, super busy.

Josh heads up a live/silent auction for the school he works for, Claiborne Christian, and that event was on Saturday, February 23rd, so we were very busy getting ready for that and it was a HUGE success. He is so talented and truly feels like he can be in the ministry without "being in the ministry" by helping CCS in this way. I have been working and in school and have made lots of progress toward my dissertation. I am so excited to say that it looks like I will be able to defend my proposal THIS semester. That was my original goal before my diagnosis, and to think that that could still be a reality is amazing. People constantly look at me in amazement of how I've been able to do all I have with everything I've been through. The absolute, 100% truth is I haven't! I haven't been able to do any of it... I have been extremely weak, needy, and broken- which has allowed God to work. He is just simply unreal. The things that happen when we are completely reliant on Him...

Isaiah 40:28-31
"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

I also have my PhD comprehensive exams coming up. This is a full week (March 18-22) and have been studying and getting ready for this. This includes an actual exam, along with a clinical presentation. I must pass these exams to be approved to graduate, so needless to say, it is a big deal and I would appreciate your prayers.

For the last several weeks, I have been getting ready to speak at Pathway Church in Mobile, Al. A college friend of my in-laws contacted me and asked me to speak at a ladies' event on March 17th (this Sunday). It is entitled "Fight like a Mom." This is their 2nd annual event and I am really getting excited. Thankfully, Josh will be able to speak with me, so this calms my nerves a bunch. This will be the first time I've shared where I've been able to give a large part of my testimony/ feelings/ emotions throughout the last 17 months. Please pray that the Holy Spirit will speak through me. I know my pain and hurt has not been in vain. It is meant to help and encourage hurting people...

One thing God is working on in me- being willing to be "seen" and share my story. It is much easier to write on a blog or share with those closest to me. It is quite another to speak at events, have people staring at me, asking me questions, etc... A website is being created to help share our story further and a book of my story is in the works....overwhelming. I literally could vomit thinking about it. The idea of being in front of others and attention being on me makes me sick. I do not want my story to be about me. I want it to be about God. I know He must use me, but it is hard for me to swallow. So thankful for these opportunities, and God is really, really stretching me. Praying for a lot of direction on all of this.

Satan has really attacked me these last few weeks, as I knew he would. I know so many can relate to this, especially pastors. When a Christian prepares to share God's word with a group, attacks are to be expected, but wow! I got to a point a few weeks ago where I was crying on my bed and almost wanted to cancel the event, because I didn't know if I could take all that was coming at me... Restlessness, tension, and body pains...I decided to press on and put on my armor and fight yet again.

1 Tim. 6:12 "Fight the good fight for the true faith. Hold tightly to the eternal life to which God has called you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses."

I've had a lot of back pain over the last week or so. This is most probably due to my exercise.. I know I told you all about working out with my new trainer and I probably just used my back more than its been used in a looong time. I've decided to not work out this week to see if my back pain ceases. Please, please pray for me. That pain goes away and that peace floods my mind. God has been faithful and given me peace, but it is still unsettling to have the pain remain.

So, I will speak at this event on Sunday, then comps start next Monday. I also head to Houston next Thursday for a check-up appointment with my plastic surgeon. So, with comps, my dissertation, speaking at this event Sunday, my Houston appt. next week, work, and school, things have been busy. I am striving so hard to find balance in the busy. I am determined to honor the Lord with my Sabbath and find rest for my body and soul throughout each week. Many people think that if you have a free minute, it should be filled, and I am changing those thoughts for me and my family. The best way I can spend my time is seeking the Lord, so I need that time in order to keep my balance. Things that used to be very important, get pushed down the list, but it is hard for others to realize that. So, continue to pray for balance and discernment for Josh and I.

So, when we go to Houston next week, we will get our Stanfill fix, and will stop in Shreveport on the way home to see my sweet nephew.

Oh yes, I have a nephew now!!!! William James (Liam) was born on February 22nd, and he is perfect. Thank you all for praying that things would go smoothly. My sister did amazingly and she and Jeremy are such wonderful parents. It has been awesome seeing my sister in her new mommy role and I cannot wait to love on this sweet baby boy forever! I can't wait till he's old enough to come and spend weekends and fun summer days with us. I love my niece and nephew so much, it's crazy. I just pray I will be the aunt they need to help them love, honor, and serve the Lord all the days of their life! Here is a picture of my gorgeous nephew...

While I'm waiting...

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 14:09:00 +0000

My check up last Thursday went great! My mom drove me to Houston and we had a great time with the Stanfills. My appointment went well and everyone wanted to see how good I looked. Alisha and Dr. Villa were thrilled with how everything turned out. I got both of my drains out too:) I am still a little sore, but overall, it has been such an easy surgery. I still have a good bit of bruising, but Dr. Villa said that it will take a while for it to go away because of it being bruised on radiated skin (which is delayed healing anyway). I am feeling much better about how everything looks and I've slept on my side and stomach several times since last Thursday...it's the little things in life....

Alisha laughed at me because when she was taking off my tape from the drains, I was wincing so much. This time, it seemed like the drains were a little "stuck", and of course that was not fun as they were coming out. She laughed at me being so vocal..she said "We pull off tape and you react, but we cut off half of your back and you're fine." All I can say is the God is good to me and has made all of my pain very bearable. It is incredible what all my body has endured in the last 16 months...

My next appointment in Houston and with Dr. Villa is March 21st. I still have stitches in that I guess will stay in until then or come out on their own. It was really weird knowing I wouldn't see them for a month. To have doctors and staff care about you-how you look, feel, and just how you are doing in general- is something I will never take for granted. I initially thought that the doctor I would have the least interaction with would be my plastic surgeon, and he and his staff have been who I have dealt with the most. All of you who prayed that God would put me with the doctors he would have hand-picked--- I have no doubt that He did just that. He has made that CLEARLY evident. My oncologists- Dr. Litton and Dr. Morrow, my surgical oncologist- Dr. Babiera, My radiation oncologist- Dr. Strom, and my reconstructive surgeon- Dr. Villa. Most people go to work each day and do paperwork or make phone calls (not that that isn't important), but these doctors help save lives and aide in helping put people back together. I know cancer treatment is controversial, but I am sure of one thing. I have no doubt that God has blessed these doctors with incredible talent to help hurting people.

Thank you Lord for blessing these doctors with the talents you have given them-to aide in your healing and to bring hope to the weary. I pray they realize that their abilities and talents are from you and seek you in helping vulnerable, sick people. I pray blessings on their life as well as wisdom, spiritual insight, and understanding. May they do your work Father.

I have had more peace in the last 2 weeks than I have had in a really long time. I have had minimum symptoms (side still aches), and I seem to be getting better in every area. To finally feel some relief, emotionally and physically is nothing short of incredibly amazing. I am still struggling to find a balance
in fighting for my life like crazy and resting in God. Pray for me with this, as it is a daily battle!

Psalm 62:5-12 "Yes, my soul, find rest in God;my hope comes from him.Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.Trust in him at all times, you people;pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."

I also started working with a personal trainer today. When I was undergoing all of my treatments, my exercising was minimal, and it has been a fight to get back in shape. I have been running a lot with my father-in-law and started working with my trainer this morning. I am doing 10 sessions, and then hopefully will learn enough to do on my own. Because of my limitations in weight lifting and not pushing too hard, it can be difficult to find great workouts for me. So, I am so thankful to have someone help jumpstart me! I will be sooooo sore tomorrow, but it is much needed.

I also was able to start back with my physical therapy last week. In October, my insurance stopped paying for my physical therapy and that was really hard for me. My range of motion in my left arm declined, and my plastic surgeon and my other doctors have commented on my poor range of motion. Now that we have met my deductible again, I get physical therapy. I love my therapist, Summer, and am so thankful to be back working on my arm.

I was so blessed and honored to have the opportunity to speak at the Cancer Foundation League Gala this past Saturday. My mom and Mr. Joey joined us and we sat with our wonderful friends, Andy and Julie. Julie is a part of the CFL and she and her mom personally delivered an amazing Christmas basket during Christmas 2011 from CFL, when I was undergoing treatment. Andy and Julie supported us during my entire journey... so grateful for them both. The Cancer Foundation League helped me much during my treatment and it was an honor to share with so many people that give to his incredible organization. I have some other speaking opportunities coming up as well. Enjoy some pictures below from the CFL gala.

So, what's next? Now I must wait. Wait for the next appointments, wait for my comprehensive exams, wait for my semester to be over, wait for cat scans, x rays, ultrasounds, MRI's, wait for babies, wait for my healing to be made completely evident. Life is really a series of waiting and it's what we do in the waiting that really matters. I am determined to not let my hoping for the future sour my waiting period. The waiting always makes the promise or the reward that much sweeter. I choose to continue worshipping, trusting, and loving my God while I'm waiting. What are you waiting on God for? Join me in determining to be joyful in hope and worship while we wait.

Psalm 130:5-8 "I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope. My soul waits for the Lord More than the watchmen for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning. O Israel, hope in the LORD; For with the LORD there is lovingkindness, And with Him is abundant redemption. And He will redeem Israel From all his iniquities."

Enjoy the pics below. The lighting was weird with the pictures..Also, I attached a link to a video that Josh took when I was getting my sedation medicine. I was trying so hard to combat it...it obviously didn't work:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5zez29YCz0&list=UUQb9j6f8DstRtLQGbMndyZg&index=1

My mom and I at the Cancer Foundation League Gala. You can see part of my radiation on the left side of my chest.

My hubby and I at the gala

We had fun in the photo booth..you can see my radiation in these pics too:)

Still recovering from surgery

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 00:37:00 +0000

Hey everyone! Thank you all so, so much for praying for me and my final surgery. It has been surreal that this surgery is bringing an end to so much and I have to be the most thankful girl on earth. Thank you to my amazing hubby, Josh for keeping you all updated. He has of course been my right hand throughout this last surgery...the way he takes care of me is overwhelming. He takes joy in emptying drains, cleaning incisions, bathing me, and waking up to give me my medicine....that is some supernatural care taking!

My pre-op appointment went well on Thursday and they marked me up with a sharpie for surgery. At this time, we still did not know the size of my implants and if they were going to do fat grafting or not. They were leaning toward doing the fat grafting to make my breasts look more natural. Because I am somewhat thin, my collar bone and chest area is bony, which can make an implant look like it was just glued on to my body, but fat grafting can make things look more natural. So we signed a consent for fat grafting, but we knew they would make that decision during surgery. They also talked much about breaking up some scar tissue during surgery and said that I had capsules around each expander that they would have to break up. Dr. Villa told me that I would have 2 drains, which wasn't the best news, but 2 drains were still less drains than I had with any surgery. I felt great after my pre-op appointment and was excited about surgery. Alisha said that Dr. Villa would obsess over me looking as good as I could, and of course that made me feel good.

On Thursday we ate at our favorite Houston restaurant, Ruggles Green, and met my mom for lunch. So thankful she was able to come over for my surgery. It is an all organic restaurant that has amazing food, so we eat there every chance we get. While we were there, we spotted Houston Rockets player, James Harden. Josh was in the bathroom when I saw him and I was freaking out! I called him and he came out of the bathroom and Josh asked if we could take a picture with him. That was definitely exciting and made for a great day!

We spent the rest of Thursday going to a few shops and ended up back at Lance and Tammy's. We had a great night with the Stanfill's and their family at one of our fave restaurants by their house, Blue Water and finished it off with some Menchies:) It never feels like we get enough time with the Stanfills. We tried to go to bed somewhat early because we had to be up by 4 am the next morning. I had to be at the hospital at 5:45 on Friday morning. I got little to no sleep. I wasn't nervous at all, but apparently my body was. I kept feeling like I was going to throw up all night.

We got to the hospital on time and everything went pretty quickly. I prayed so hard that my IV would go in ok and it was the first time anyone got it in on the first try! I was so relieved and happy. The nurse said she was so nervous as she was doing it. My mom and in-laws both came for my surgery and that meant so much to me. I got to visit with them before they took me back to surgery, and I really felt so much at ease. Dr. Villa and Alisha both came back to see me before surgery and they always make me feel better. The last thing I remember was trying to fight off my sedation and Josh was videoing me, so I apparently didn't last long:)

My surgery lasted about 4 hours and everything went well. As soon as I woke up, I remember my left ribs being really, really sore, but most of all, I remember not being hot or nauseous at all. I remember looking at the nurse and being so excited. I just kept saying, "I don't feel sick! I'm so happy." They wanted me to try to go to the bathroom because I had a catheter in during surgery, so I did that, but on my way back to bed, I felt dizzy. My mouth was so dry and my throat was so sore because me being intubated/ I remember seeing Josh and Mr. Joey. Mr. Joey came to Houston to see my after my surgery and that was so sweet of him. I'm sure the others came back after my surgery, but I don't remember! I just know I was so tired and it was hard to keep my eyes open.

They released me and we went to the hotel to sleep. I really wanted to go out to eat that night to spend time with my family who came to my surgery, but as I was getting dressed, I kept feeling nauseous, so I decided to stay in. My sweet mom stayed with me while the others ate, then they came back and we visited some in the room. I really enjoyed that. I got little to no sleep that night, but it let me pray and thank God for all He had done in my life. As Josh told you, I also got some funny video of him snoring. He never does, so it was funny to get proof:)

We woke up Saturday morning and went shopping a little bit, ate some good food and headed home. I felt good enough to go to church Sunday morning and had a great time at my in-laws watching the superbowl. God continues to amaze me with how he protects me. It is just simply amazing. There is no other way to explain it! I think I overdid it too much, so today I have spent a lot of time on the couch. I am just still very, very sore. Josh says I have a good bit of bruising under my left breast and on the side of my ribs, which is where I am hurting the most.

Dr. Villa said that I had a bunch of scar tissue from radiation and my other surgeries, so he broke a lot of that up during my surgery ( not sure what that entails, but sounds painful). That pain wasn't something I was expecting. It isn't unbearable, but it is not fun at all. They ended up not doing the fat grafting, which I was surprised and happy about. Once they put the implants in, they looked natural enough that they didn't need to do the grafting. That was definitely a game time decision, because we thought it would be happening based on my pre-op appointment and what they were leaning toward. As far as the feel of my breasts- it is incredible how soft they feel. They feel like normal breast tissue and they don't look or feel like implants at all. I haven't looked at them without my bandages on, but Josh says they look "perfect." I was definitely surprised at how small they looked to me. They are smaller than my original breasts, so that will take a while for me to get used to. I knew that would most likely be the case, but it is different when it is done. I am trying to look at it in a positive way that I will be able to wear some things that I used to not be able to because of my fuller chest. My husband saying I look "perfect" and answering my questions every 5 seconds of how they look definitely help my self-confidence. My body is only temporary and I have healthy breasts- so all my comments about size are relative! Just trying to give you details.

"For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life.cGod himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit.So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord.For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body." 2 Corinthians 5: 1-10

There is always a chance that I can get back to my previous breast size after we have children (in Jesus' name). If I have any skin on my stomach after I have children, they could possibly move that to my breasts and put in larger implants. We don't know if we will do that (and hopefully I won't have excess skin on my stomach after kids), but that is an option down the road. Right now, I am trying to focus on the fact that I am feeling better. I think most people's perception of breast implants is that you will end up with these awesome, perfect breasts, and in dealing with augmentation after breast cancer, that normally is not the case. I am overall very pleased and thankful to have breasts of any size. If my thankfulness is not translating, then it is because I am just giving you too many details, not that I'm not thrilled to have this surgery completed!

So, we will head to Houston for my post-op appointment on this Thursday. My mom will be taking me and am looking forward to hearing how pleased they are with everything. They said that I should not have to see them for a month, then 3 months, then 6 months, and then a year. Praise the Lord. I am praying that these 2 drains can come out on Thursday as well. They have drained very little so I am holding out hope they can come out. These 2 drains make 15 drains that I have had total. I think they will take out my stitches on Thursday as well.

We missed my precious niece so much while we were gone. Josh's cousin, Darren and his wife, Candace found out they are having a boy in June. They are our family, but also great friends and we are excited for their addition, Elliot Darren:) Just a few more weeks for my sister's baby boy...anxiously waiting...please be praying for her as she gets closer to delivery. That God will supernaturally protect her and her baby boy, as he did Rachel and Sullivan. Thank you in advance. I will update soon after my post op appointment on Thursday.

Thank you for continuing to be so interested and invested in our lives. When we are 6 hours away at surgeries and appointments, it can be easy to feel down, but I rarely have felt that way. That is because of your prayers and encouragement to Josh and I. We are forever grateful. Please praise God with us for this final surgery. I can't wait until the day everything on earth acknowledges and praises our God.

"Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!” " Rev. 5:13

Us with Rockets player, James Harden

Got my IV in on the first try!

Right after I woke up and went to the bathroom. Soooo out of it.

Sleeping in the car on the way back to West Monroe

Home and Resting

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 06:11:00 +0000

After Aly's surgery yesterday we were discharged and Aly went to our room and slept. All of us ended up sleeping all afternoon and we had planned to go out to eat. Aly woke up and began getting ready to go eat but then once she was up and ready did not feel so good and decided to stay in the room while we went and ate Papasitos.

We brought Aly back some food which she was able to eat and then we went to sleep.

I woke up quite a bit during the night and each time I did Aly was awake and by her count she only got around 2 hours of sleep. We don't know if that was due to medicine or the fact that she slept all day. When I woke up this morning she was laughing and said listen to this... Aly had recorder me sleeping apparently and no wonder she couldn't sleep. I was snoring like a crazy person. I don't think I do this all the time but that recording is crazy embarrassing.

We ended up going by Marshall's home goods and then we ate lunch at Papas in Humble on our way home. After not a bunch of sleep we were happy to get to our house.

Church tomorrow in the AM. Night.

Discharged and in Hotel room

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 21:26:00 +0000

We are now in our hotel room and Aly is sleeping.

Sure you all know this at this point but the things Aly had to accomplish to be discharged is to be able to stomach water and food, have her pain be tolerable and then also use the bathroom.

Fairly quickly Aly was able to drink water and sprite and then also was able to eat some saltine crackers and not have them come back up. She initially was not feeling good but then it clicked with her that if she told them she was dizzy that they may not let her go early. This was about 11:45am so I told her I was going to go eat and then when I got back we would see how she felt. Well needless to say when we got back from eating she was feeling good enough to go home.

She was able to finish the checks that the nurse had set for her and so we were on our way. We are staying in the Rotary House which is connected to the hospital so after about a half mile wheelchair ride we were in the hotel room.

Aly has been sleeping on and off since then.

I will update again tomorrow morning unless something interesting happens.

Out of surgery

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 17:07:00 +0000

Dr Villa just came out and said that everyone went well. He said Aly is awake but groggy and we should get to see her in about half an hour.

We should get discharged today but we will see.

Hope you have a great day and I will update once I see her.

Tissue Expander replacement surgery

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 13:21:00 +0000

We arrived at the hospital at 5:45 and have been waiting for someone todo the pre op process.

It is 6:31 and the lady just got here and is taking Aly's vitals.

They say the surgery is going to take between 3-4 hours so we will see. At the current rate that means she should be done sometime 10-11am.

They just took her back at 7:19am so I will update when I know more. The last surgery Aly had they could not get her iv in until they got back to surgery room so this time she said she was going to try and fight it so she could see dr Villa and Alisha in the OR. The anesthesia nurse heard this and laughed.

I will update later.

Friday is surgery day!

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 21:16:00 +0000

I cannot believe that Friday will be my last and final surgery. This surgery has seemed forever away and for it to be here makes me so grateful. It has meant so much to me for those of you who have told me you will be praying for me on Friday. I hadn't updated the blog in a while, and I still have people I don't know very well tell me they are praying for my surgery, and remembered that it was this Friday! That means so much to me that they keep up with me and still pray specifically for me. Thank you to all who have done this. It means the world to me.

We will go down to Houston on Wednesday, and we have my pre-op appointments first thing Thursday morning. We should find out more details of what will actually happen during surgery in that visit and will have my surgery on Friday, hopefully in the morning. According to how I am doing and what all they do in surgery, will determine how long I will stay in Houston.

Many people have asked what this surgery will be like and I'm not exactly sure how to answer that. One thing I do know is that it is much different than a breast augmentation. I know they are replacing my expanders with implants and doing a lot of work on my scars and trying to make my skin appear as healthy as possible. I still have a good bit of skin that is radiated and red, so I think they will be taking out some of that. I am not sure if they will want to do skin grafts, fat grafts, etc. to make me look more normal or what. A lot of what they do will be determined in surgery. For instance, if they take out the expanders and put in the implants and something does not settle right, they may have to reduce the size of the implants, or take out more skin, or put in more skin. Crazy, right?! It is a little unnerving going into a surgery not knowing what all will be done. I do know that they will take amazing care of me and that ultimately they are doing what makes me look as normal as they possibly can. I may or may not have drains, just according to what all they have to do. So, this surgery is much more than a breast augmentation, but much less than the other surgeries I have had, and that is good news:) Crazy to be having implants put in and I still have yet to see an implant! Not exactly how I would have pictured getting breast implants...Dr. Villa always reminds me that the goal is to look as normal in clothing as possible. So I am remembering that, but I also know God is big enough to have me look great underneath as well. Praying and believing I will look wonderful.

Of course, I want to look great, but most of all, I want to feel better. I still have very limited motion of my left arm and my radiation doctor said that could be in part to the tissue expander being sewed into my muscle. So, I am praying that the tightness is my pec muscle is relieved and my motion is better. The tissue expanders are sewed into my muscle, whereas the implants will be free floating. I am also praying that I feel relief in being able to comfortably lay on my stomach and not feel so much like I have an iron bra on all the time. It is so hard to explain what it feels like. I am so much better than what I was, but to feel like I have baseballs shoved under my chest muscle is not the best feeling:) I am thankful for a surgery that I am looking forward to. I looked forward to the others because I knew they were all steps toward my healing, but to have one that I am really looking forward to because I may feel better afterwards is refreshing. I, of course, am still nervous about the surgery but God has given me peace and I am ready.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Life has seemed eerily normal over the past few weeks. School and work are going well and I am making some strides toward my dissertation writing. My pain has seemed to have lessened alot in my abdomen and my stomach seems to be calming down some. Praise the Lord. His goodness is overwhelming. I know He delights in seeing me more peaceful.

We had such an exciting week last week, as my sweet niece, Sullivan Reese was born. My sis-in-law, Rachel, delivered amazingly and Lee and Rachel are wonderful parents. How blessed little Sulli is to have the God-fearing parents that she does. She was 7 lbs. 3oz and born on Thursday, January 24th at 11:16 a.m. We have had a wonderful time loving on her. Lee and Rachel live just a few houses down from us, so let's just say we will be seeing a lot of Sullivan. Can't wait to make sweet memories with her. I just a few short weeks, my sister will have her baby boy. So thankful to witness these miracles. It's amazing to see 2 people I love so much give birth to another...life and giving life is truly a miracle. The way God knit us together is so completely amazing...

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

January 24th was also a special day for Josh and I, as it was our 10 year dating anniversary. I am so blessed to have "grown up" with my husband. I was 15 when we started dating, and oh my goodness, how much I have changed in the last 10 years! How blessed I have to have the opportunity to grow up with and grow old with my husband. I know I am one of the few and far between. Thank you Lord for January 24, 2003.

I had another opportunity to speak and share God's story this past Friday at Cedar Crest Baptist Church. One of my great friends from school, Lauren, leads a girls' group at her church. Her husband, Jarrett, is the youth pastor there and does such a wonderful job leading the students to Christ. So, I spoke to this girls' group on Friday night. This was the first time I shared my entire testimony. Other times I just shared about how God helped me through my journey, or breast cancer awareness, or about my treatment, but this time, I was able to share more and I thought it went well. I am still trying to get comfortable with speaking in public, but I just pray that the Lord speaks, and not me. I know if He is able to do this, then his purposes will be accomplished. They were such a great group of girls. We got to talk a little after I spoke and I answered any questions they had. Excited about other opportunities I have coming up to share God's miraculous story!

Lately I have been meditating on Romans 12:12, where it talks about being joyful in hope. This is a scripture I have read probably hundreds of times and I don't know if I've ever meditated on it. The "joyful in hope"part of the verse has really struck me. I want to be joyful in hope. I may not be able to see the end of my story, but I know what I hope for. I know I hope for an eternity with Christ, for long life, for children to raise to serve the Lord, for seeing a Godly generation follow me and to all be together in heaven... I can be joyful in these hopes, even though they are yet to be realized. That is what I am focusing on...being joyful in HOPE! God is my only hope. Even when I don't feel joyful, I can be joyful in hope. It is a commandment and I know I want to obey, so here is to living with intentional joy in hope!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

I love you all. Josh will update you all as to surgery details. Please be praying for everything to go perfectly! Enjoy pictures below of my sweet niece and my husband and I celebrating 10 years.

10 years with my love

Loving on my beautiful niece, Sullivan

Every day is a victory...

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:23:00 +0000

Hey guys,

I'm back from Houston and everything went perfectly at my appointments. I am so grateful and I have to continue to remind myself to be thankful for this good visit, as it's easy to focus on the negative things. The atmosphere at MDA is great, but it is still an atmosphere I don't want to be around, and that can get me down, regardless of good reports... I am working on this!

My mom drove me down to meet Josh in Houston and I am so grateful for her always willingness to drive me to Houston. We went to church on Sunday and then met my sweet friend, Irena for lunch, at a place called Roots Bistro-so good! I've told you before, but I met Irena while we were both getting chemo at MD Anderson. She is so wonderful and is doing so great. She recently had her reconstructive surgery, had many complications, but is doing wonderfully. She has the same oncologist that I do, Dr. Litton, so we have that in common as well. I praise the Lord for both of our healings!

We ate with the Stanfills Sunday night and went to bed early because my appointments started at 7:10 on Monday morning. The Stanfills live about 40 minutes from the hospital, and with Houston morning traffic, we normally leave at least an hour before my appointments, so we often get up very early while in Houston. We wouldn't have it any other way. We love our second family, the Stanfills. They have gone above and beyond for us. We love them and miss them when we go for periods without seeing them.

My ultrasound was first thing Monday morning and once again it was very scary. I kept praying that I would get a rad tech that would actually talk to me, and that the radiologist would be friendly and positive, and that is exactly what I got. Thank you God! My ultrasound tech was one I had when I was undergoing chemo (Jacqueline), so she remembered me. She was very nice. When I asked her if everything looked good, she told me that her job was "to perform and not interpret":) So, I had to wait on the radiologist. This was the first time that a radiologist walked in and said, "It looks like those lymph nodes still appear benign and normal, but I want to see them myself." I appreciated that so much. Normally, they are so silent until the very end (which seems like an eternity), but just that small statement immediately put me at ease. After looking, she said that she would be looking forward to seeing me when I just come back for a regular follow up. ME TOO! So, they both left and I broke down in that little room by myself. I just kept repeating, "Thank you Lord, thank you Lord."

1 Chron. 16:34 "Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever."

So, I told the news to Josh and we waited for my appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Litton. It was like I had been given drugs because I was just so, so happy. We waited for a long time, and finally got called back. Dr. Litton and my nurse, Angela, basically asked me a bunch of questions and reiterated that it will just take a long time for me to feel back to normal. Dr. Litton says that many people do not feel completely well for 2-3 years after treatment. So, that was encouraging to me. They complimented me on my diet and exercise and encouraged that, which was good. We were able to ask a lot of fertility questions, and she continued to be very stickler on waiting for 2 years from diagnosis. So, we will pray a lot about when we will try for a baby, but it looks like we will be able to move toward a family in October. So thankful.

Psalm 127: 3-5 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

Dr. Litton and Angela both stressed what October will mean for me. They say if, but I say when I make it to October, I will be out of the most scary time for my type of cancer. So, October will be huge, for my life and for my future family. Please pray that October will come soon and that the Lord will carry me until then, and always. I know He will.

I left from my visit with Dr. Litton a little sad. Everything was positive in the visit, but I just left discouraged. I think any time I am reminded of how scary this time until October can be, it can get me in an extreme funk. I was explaining this to Josh as we were waiting for an elevator at the hospital and he gave me hope in a way he reframed my situation (yes, he's learned some therapy techniques:)) The waterworks immediately came on as the elevator was opened with several other people, and I am trying to hold back heaves. Josh was very sensitive, but trying not to laugh as I was trying so hard to hold the tears back!

We had a great rest of the day on Monday. We met up for lunch at our favorite restaurant, Ruggles Green, with our amazing friends, the Summers. They opened their home to us while going through chemo, have taken us to lunch, taken care of us, prayed for us, had us on their family beach trip this summer, and been so very generous to us. We so enjoyed getting to see them and spend time with them, as usual. The rest of the day, we shopped and went to our favorite Houston places. We finished off a great day by watching the not-so-entertaining National Championship football game at the Stanfills.

On Tuesday, we had an appointment with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Strom, since he was the one who ordered the ultrasound. He was very pleased with my ultrasound and glad to see me doing so well. He said that he wanted me to have another ultrasound this summer, and then after that ultrasound, they would move me to just routine check-ups. Oh how I long for that day!!! I left this appointment uplifted and thankful that someone felt ok with not seeing me for a little while. Thank you Lord for these bits of hope!

We headed home after a trip to Whole Foods and I am trying to enjoy my last little bit of no school/work. I start back with everything on Monday. Please pray I can find balance as things become busier. I am making some progress on my dissertation, which is very encouraging to me. I am determined to not get back into a "rat race."

I also got to share a bit of my story on Wednesday night at church. Each year, they open up a Wednesday night for people to share what God has done for them in the past year. Last year, I made a video testimony because I was getting chemo and could not be at church, but this year I was here, and able to share just a few things that God did for me in 2012. Obviously 2012 was the hardest year of my life, but it was the year that God performed a miracle in me--- I was healed and made whole in 2012---so I praise God for 2012. Through all my struggles, God has remained sovereign and been such a good God to me. I have some other opportunities coming up, where I'll be able to share my story. I desire to be a trustworthy vessel and I pray God's story of my healing continues to be shared and draw hearts to Him.

So, next comes school, work and my surgery on February 1st. I don't have to go back to Houston until January 30th, since I have my pre-op appointments on the 31st. I am so excited about this surgery. To be in less pain, to look and feel more normal, and to have finality of my surgeries. I am so thankful.

Please continue to pray for me as I battle fear each day. Thank God for my healing and pray that His angels shield me from the devil's schemes. Each day is a struggle, but each day is a victory. I am reminded that each day is a blessing and God goes before me and goes behind me...He's got this... I just have to trust...each day, every moment, every second...

I will update as we get closer to surgery time:):):) Here is a pic of me and my sweet friend Irena at lunch on Sunday.

Ringing out my hair and ringing in the new year!

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 03:10:00 +0000

Yes, it's true, I can now officially ring out my hair:) What an awesome feeling! Last year at this time, I had no hair, and now I have enough to ring out...wow, when God created time, he knew what he was doing. I am a believer in that time can definitely heal...well it can also grow your hair!!! Thank you Lord!

Eccl. 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. I have continued to feel so much more like myself since getting my good scan results. The timing of my results, paired with the joy of the holidays is truly amazing. Definitely the best Christmas and New Year's to date. It is as if all of my senses are heightened to the awareness of God's goodness in the ordinary, little things. As we woke up on Christmas morning, Josh and I talked about this Christmas being the best yet. Of course, for obvious reasons, but we are just more aware of the meaning of life and how brief it truly is. I loved being with our families on Christmas...we are so blessed.

It is officially less than a month until my implant exchange surgery! I am getting really excited about it and am really not nervous at all. I will not miss these tissue expanders one bit...there is no better way to explain it other than having rocks under your chest muscle. Sounds fun, right? I'm obviously very thankful for the expanders, but I've had them in for over 8 months and am ready to say goodbye! I will go to Houston on the 31st for my pre-op appointment, then my implant surgery will be February 1st!

A lot will happen between now and my implant surgery. I will start back to school, which is my last semester of PhD coursework! ahhh!!! So thankful! I will also start back to work and will have a niece at the end of January. Josh and I are so excited about this sweet little baby girl and how soon she will be here. Then, a month later, at the end of February, my sister and her husband will be welcoming their baby boy. Another baby to love...So many of our best friends are pregnant or have just had babies! We want to be parents so badly and are trusting in God's perfect timing. Please continue to pray for my fertility as we desire to have our children grow up with their cousins and our friends' children. We are continuing to believe and trust that we will have children of our own. Dr. Litton told us that she is a rare doctor at MD Anderson to encourage children after breast cancer. I am so thankful she is our doctor. I've known ever since I was little girl that I was meant to be a mother...trusting it will come to pass. I am striving to have the faith of Sarah! He who has promised is faithful!!

Hebrews 11:11 "By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised."

We should be able to ask a bunch of fertility questions at my oncology check up next week (Monday). I can't believe it is time for another oncology check up. It will be the first time we have seen Dr. Litton in several months, so it will be great to see her and ask a lot of questions. I also will have a breast ultrasound on Monday to re-check those lymph nodes that alarmed Dr. Strom 3 months ago. We are praying and believing that the lymph nodes will look completely normal- please join us in praying this. Once this ultrasound comes back good, I will let out one big breath in knowing that all tests are normal. My ultrasound is Monday morning and my radiation doctor will go over the results with me on Tuesday.

This will be my first trip to Houston in over a month! I am looking forward to it...to spending time with the Stanfills, hopefully seeing some of our other Houston friends, going to Whole foods, some of our fave stores and restaurants.... It is nice to be looking forward to a Houston trip. A new year, a new life, a new hope for Josh and I and our future family!

Please pray for great ultrasound results on Monday..that the lymph nodes look completely normal. Enjoy some pictures from New Years below. I love you all!

Celebrating with some sparklers and fireworks!

Happy New Year!

Striving to make my heaven IN heaven!

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 21:45:00 +0000

After 5 long months of pain and symptoms, I got the most amazing news. Everything looked great on my CT scan. There looks to be a possible cyst on my left ovary, but nothing in my area of pain. I finally feel like myself again. I know in my heart and I stand on my confession of faith that I am healed, but when you consistently have pain in a scary area, it is hard to act as if everything is fine, because it's not. Even though I still don't know what is causing the pain, I know what is is NOT! The burden that has been lifted is unexplainable.

When I heard the news from my CT scan, I was home alone sitting on my couch about to eat lunch. After I found out the good news, I was so overcome with emotion. I dramatically put my lunch on the coffee table and sprawled out on my living room floor in the most violent cry you have probably ever heard:) My mascara was ALL over my face and I was inconsolable. I'm sure I was a sight to see, but it was a precious moment with my Savior. I just kept yelling thanks to the Lord over and over, followed by apologizing to him over and over for ever doubting Him in the slightest. I tried calling Josh and couldn't reach him. He tried calling me back and I missed his call. When he came home, we hadn't talked yet. Let's just say I had to quickly tell him the news was good, because by looking at me or hearing me, he probably thought something was majorly wrong:) Oh, the joys of living with me!!!

After hearing the news, I have been so giddy. Little girl giddy. Like skipping around the house, wanting to do cartwheels in the front yard giddy. No exaggeration. I'm excited to go to the grocery store, clean my house, play with my dog--just doing anything I have such joy that I haven't had in a very long time. I always try to choose joy and choose happiness regardless of my situation, but to actually feel it bubbling up inside is an indescribable feeling. So, I am enjoying this joy with overwhelming thankfulness to my God.

1 Corinthians 15:57 "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

As far as the pain is concerned, we are not too sure what the next step is. I am meeting with my G.I. doctor on the 27th to see what the next step is. Please pray that we can know what to do to stop my pain in the most natural way possible. I am trying a lot of diet changes to see if that helps. I am already eating very healthy, but will be experimenting with taking some foods out of my diet to see if that helps.

I am reminded through all of my pain, fears, and hardship to make my heaven IN heaven. If I had a "perfect" life, or if things went just as I have planned, why would I want heaven? My heaven might be here on this earth. That is scary. I know I've shared it before, but I am looking forward to heaven more than ever before. I long for it--- for Jesus to come back. I think we often hear about storing our treasures in heaven, but I don't know if I have ever truly understood what that meant. Not that I understand fully now, but I know that these experiences have helped me realize that I often long for my heaven to be on earth. Do I believe I will have blessings on this earth? Yes. Do I believe God has favor on my life and wants to give me the desires of my heart? Yes. But, I want to desire heaven---not heaven on earth. As blessings come my way, I am praying I am reminded to not make earth my heaven. I will strive to be in awe of my blessings and always keep a heaven- focus. I can rejoice and thank God for trials, as it causes me to long for a kingdom that will stand forever.

Romans 8: 18-19 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."

So, the next time I head to Houston will be the second week of January. Please continue to pray for my oncology check up and my ultrasound check up--that everything will look perfectly. That check up will be about 8 months since my mastectomy. That is so hard to believe, but I am so overjoyed. Josh laughs at me, because I can turn a light comment to a serious one in a heartbeat. I don't mean to, but it is just where my mind is. He will say something like, "I can't believe Christmas is coming," or "Your surgery will be here so soon," and I will comment back and say, "I'm so thankful I'm alive" or "I just thank Jesus for getting me to this point." So yes, the mood can change pretty quickly in the Taylor household, but it is just constantly on my mind. Big events or milestones can send me into a tailspin, as I become overwhelmed with thankfulness for God choosing to keep me here on this earth. I can be so extremely sensitive at times, and I am thankful for those who have endured my tears, fears, anger, joy, and ever-changing moods. I've always been very even-keeled, so God is teaching me much with all of these different emotions!

Josh and I are slowly but surely sending gifts and thank you's to so many of you who have gone above and beyond for us. We pray you are beyond blessed this Christmas season. Through my own struggles this Christmas season, I have experienced sorrow and struggles in a joyful season. It makes me ache for those who are struggling during this time of year. To seemingly have no joy in a season that is supposed to be full of joy can be overwhelming. God has made me more sympathetic and empathetic towards those suffering as I have suffered myself. Once again, God uses my struggles for His glory.

Praying you all have a very Merry Christmas. Join me in being in awe of Christ, as he was born on earth to save me and have relationship with ME. OVERWHELMING! I am copying lyrics and the youtube video to my favorite Christmas song below. There have been many car rides as I have belted it out and cried. It doesn't even feel like a Christmas song to me, and I wish it was played all year long. I remember listening to it last year around this time, and I felt it took my thoughts and they were put into a song. Enjoy. May Christ continue to be born in me!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsXOP7aQeqQ

Be born in me

By Francesca Battistelli

Everything inside me cries for order
Everything inside me wants to hide
Is this shadow an angel or a warrior?
If God is pleased with me, why am I so terrified?
Someone tell me I am only dreaming
Somehow help me see with Heaven's eyes
And before my head agrees, my heart is on its knees
Holy is He. Blessed am I.

Be born in me, be born in me
Trembling heart, somehow I believe that You chose me
I'll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

All this time we've waited for the promise
All this time You've waited for my arms
Did You wrap yourself inside the unexpected
So we might know that Love would go that far?

Be born in me, be born in me
Trembling heart, somehow I believe that You chose me
I'll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

I am not brave
I'll never be
The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy
I'm just a girl
Nothing more
But I am willing, I am Yours

Be born in me, be born in me
I'll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

Good results and CT abdomen scan scheduled

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 03:53:00 +0000

Well, God makes himself famous again... My tests went really well yesterday. My doctor said that he took some biopsies (which is standard) and it looks like I might have gastritis. I am still trying to research what exactly it is and how I can help it. He sent something off to test for the gastritis that he thinks may be a bacteria that an antibiotic might clear up. I do not like taking medicine and would like to do things as natural as possible, so pray that I can help heal my body in the most natural way possible. Outside of that, he said everything looked good.

I asked about my gallbladder, liver, and kidneys and he said that he is unable to view those organs in the tests. I thought that all of that could be looked at during these tests, but I was wrong. The doctor is has ordered me a CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis to make sure everything is ok. It is scheduled for this upcoming Monday, the 17th. So, I am extremely thankful and definitely relieved that these tests went well, but of course, I have the waiting for the return of the biopsies and abdomen CT scan coming up. I am trying to just rejoice in the moment, and trust God to take care of tomorrow- I will rejoice in today. So, I should hear from the doctor soon to get the biopsy results, and now I wait until my CT scan on Monday.

I am thankful a CT scan is scheduled because it is a very in depth scan, and one I wanted to have for a long time, but have waited for and trusted doctor's timings on all of these tests. I am doing ok emotionally...trusting God with all my heart. I am human and get very scared... I once again beg you all to pray for a clear CT scan. Trusting that this test will be clear and I will have even more peace of mind. Once this test is clear, cancer is ruled out for affecting the pain in my abdomen. God knows that this test needed to happen for my peace of mind. Trusting Him...

I am reminded of people who were counted righteous by their faith in the Bible. The one that sticks out to me is Abraham. It is funny how many people I have been able to identify with in the Bible through my suffering- Jesus, Mary, Abraham, Paul, David, Job...I have literally felt a bond with these people! I know my suffering pails in comparison, but there still is more of a bond.

As you know, I have also felt many bonds with other breast cancer survivors, and my friend, Erin is one of them. God healed her supernaturally from stage 4 breast cancer. I found her blog last spring and she has been a constant encouragement to me, and our treatment has been similar and around the same time frame. I hope to meet her one day. Check out her awesome blog: http://erin-fightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2012-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2013-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=50

When I was about to get my bone scan in October, I wept at Erin's words as she commented on my blog. I happened to read it in a weak moment in my bathroom. She said, "This is not cancer, you're just under attack because of all the awesome things you do for the kingdom. God answered your prayers for TOTAL healing already. You claim that healing and don't stop, no matter what you hear or fear. This is a great chance for you to live out your faith--believing in what cannot be seen. There are no what-ifs or action plans for worst-case scenario, because that would be like not believing God healed you entirely. Remember, Abraham's faith was credited as righteousness when he spoke things about his future that seemed unbelievable. This is your Abraham moment, and I know you are a righteous woman!"

Father, please help me have the faith of Abraham- faith for my healing, faith for my future, faith for living a long life, faith that you are taking care of me. I want to go where you say go, even if that means not knowing where I am going. I want to believe in you for children of my own, like Abraham did, when circumstances would say differently. I pray I am righteous in your eyes father. I believe Lord; help my unbelief.

Hebrews 11:8 "It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going."

Romans 4:3 "For the Scriptures tell us, "Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith."

Oh, and God gave me awesome news today as I am trying to stay focused on him and not on these scary tests. My surgery scheduler called and my breast implant surgery is scheduled for February 1st! I am so excited and thankful. I trust that God is holding my hand and giving me bits of hope to carry me through these tests. He is such a good God. If there is one thing that is true, it is that God is good.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND MY CT SCAN ON MONDAY!!! You've prayed me through before and through my last test... I NEED it again. I am one needy person. Just being honest of where I'm at...

The joy that will come when the CT results are good....cannot explain!!! Pray, fast, join me with expectation of these good test results....

Below are some pictures from our blessing cruise. I am going to call it our "hope" cruise, because it was there God gave me hope I desperately needed. To those who helped make this trip possible, we pray God blesses you more than you can imagine. May you reap the blessings of what you have sown into me!!!

2 Corin. 9:6-8 "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

At a show one night

Having fun dancing the last night!

The girls at dinner

In San Juan, Puerto Rico

In St. Thomas

One of our formal nights

Reminder to pray for me Tueday, Dec. 11th

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 03:58:00 +0000

I just wanted to write a short post to remind you all to pray for me tomorrow. I check in for my tests at 2:30 and they should begin at 3:00. I am having both an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. We should find out results from these tests as soon as they are over, so that is definitely a relief. It should just last an hour or so, then I will wake up and go over results.

God has given me an amazing peace of mind. My symptoms have remained, but my spirit is at rest. I just continue saying a verse that I say often.." I am holding fast to my confession of faith without wavering, for He who has promised is faithful." I am continuing to believe that my confession of faith is complete healing and that it will be revealed in every test done.

I am asking you to pray right now as you read this and any other time I cross your mind. We have seen what happens when we come together and pray. Let us not stop doing this because the storm as seemingly settled, but may we be encouraged to press on harder than ever because of what we've seen God do when we do what we are supposed to do! I've said it before, but many of His promises are conditional and I (we) must continue doing our part of those promises.

I am begging you to pray with me tomorrow for clear results. Looking forward to posting the good news... Love you all...

Breast Reconstruction Surgery coming soon!

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 15:12:00 +0000

So, my mom and I headed to Houston last week and had a great visit. She has taken me these last 2 times and she is always willing to take me! I have a great mom! We got to visit some with the Stanfill's on Wednesday night and then headed to my appointment in the morning. I received my final expansion! They were not able to expand my left side to match the right because of the radiation done on that side and just simply couldn't stretch much more. So, during surgery they will make the right side smaller to match the left, since the left cannot be expanded further. This means that I will be slightly smaller chested than I was before my mastectomy, and I am at peace with that. When I had my lat-flap surgeries, we thought there was a chance I wouldn't be able to expand at all, so I am thankful to have breasts of any size:)

1 Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

The soreness from the expansion is going away now and a surgery date is in the process of being set! During my lat-flap surgeries, I thought I wouldn't have surgery intil April or May, but that has changed. Dr. Villa expressed that he would feel comfortable doing my final surgery in January or February! His staff is supposed to call me in the next week or so to nail down an official date, but it will definitely be in January or February. Crazy to think I won't see them until the day before my surgery. To go from seeing them every week or every 2 weeks to a month or 2...surreal, but of course a good thing. I will see Dr. Villa for a pre-op appointment the day before surgery and have surgery the next day. I may have to stay overnight in the hospital, but if I don't I will at least need to stay in the Houston area. I may or may not have drains...a lot of these decisions will be decided in the operating room. But regardless, at the most, it should be a 4-5 day Houston stay and then we can head home! It really is exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I can't believe it is December 5th. It is interesting to talk to Josh and read his writings of what he remembers from all of last year's events. It is crazy to be going through something alongside someone and have so many different experiences and perspectives. Things he remembers I don't remember at all. Things he thought about, I didn't think about at all. Things that were significant to me, weren't to him and vice versa. You all know I am long-winded at this point, but one day, we will write all of what we went through down. My version may not fit, blog-style:) I do know that when December 1st hit this weekend, I remembered how much I was awaiting December 1st last year, as it was my 1st ultrasound check-up after I started chemo. It was our first tangible, physical sign that my cancer was going away...Praise the Lord for December 1st. A new month, a new hope, a new sign of what God was doing in me.

"Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." Lam. 3:23

I shouldn't have to go back to MD Anderson until the beginning of January. I will have my 3 month appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Litton, as well as have my follow up ultrasound with Dr. Strom. To remind you...2 months ago, I had a breast ultrasound that showed 2 lymph nodes that had not previously showed up on ultrasounds. This concerned Dr. Strom, but he thought there was a good chance that the new ultrasound equipment was just allowing them to see lymph nodes that were always there, but had not been detected by previous equipment. These lymph nodes looked completely benign, but he wanted me to come back in 3 months to do a follow up- which is what this appointment in January will be- so please, please pray for this too.

I wanted to update you all on the surgery and thank you for continuing to pray for me. My symptoms have seemed a little better this week, so I can't thank you enough for your prayers. God is giving me more peace about these tests coming up on Tuesday. I can't eat anything on Monday or Tuesday, so it will make me fast and pray and believe God for a good report. Please consider joining me. I will remind you all as Tuesday gets closer to pray. Once again, I need you to fight with me. Please put on the WHOLE armor of God...for you and for me. I love you guys.

Eph. 6:10-17 "A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For weare not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

Posted below are some pictures from Thanksgiving and from a Tacky Christmas Party we had on Friday night. I also ran in a 5K this weekend to raise money for Leukemia research. My great friend, Angie helps put this race on, and she is a leukemia survivor. She has held my hand through my journey. (that is an understatement) Thanking God for new beginnings, fun, and the ability to run!

Bowling with the Taylors after thanksgiving lunch

Our Tacky Christmas party with our wonderful friends!

After the Scrooge 5K

I am thankful for HOPE!

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 02:29:00 +0000

I am thankful for HOPE and LIFE this thanksgiving. Josh and I were gifted something that I don’t know if I can ever repay. Someone anonymously paid for us to go on a cruise vacation with his parents and 2 of our friends. It was very last minute and we had such a great time. They ability to repay this person is literally impossible, because what I received wasn't just a wonderful vacation---I received hope on this trip.We had fun, laughed, and did a lot of relaxing. My symptoms, as far as the pain in my ribs/stomach ceased dramatically as well as my stomach issues during our vacation. It was on this trip that God gave me a bit of light of hope---of life and of fun. We got back a few weeks ago and we continue be amazed at other's generosity.

I’ve always noticed how one’s current situation can make something wonderful seem not wonderful at all. For instance, a girl who was just broken up with and goes on a trip of a lifetime—even though the trip is amazing, she can’t even allow herself to have a good time because she is heartbroken. That is what it has somewhat been like for me. I haven’t been able to, or I guess, allowed myself to fully enjoy moments because I can retreat to my fear. This trip, with of course the full help of the Holy Spirit allowed me to have rest, hope, and life. We had SUCH a wonderful time. Pictures to come…

Since being home, my symptoms have returned, which makes me wonder if anxiety has something to do with all of this. It’s hard for me to accept that, because I wouldn’t consider myself an anxious person, but I pray that is what it is. The pain is very real though. We went and saw a G.I. doctor on Monday in Monroe and he suggested an endoscopy and colonoscopy. It is scheduled for December 11^th. When I think about it too long, I can feel myself start to go into a full-scale panic attack, so please, please pray for me. I pray for relief once I get good news from these tests. I just have to remind myself to be expectant from the Lord. He has shown himself faithful over and over again. I can just get so scared with the what if’s…

"But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats." 1 Peter 3:14

My expansions have continued to go well, and I should have my last expansion on this Thursday, Nov. 29^th. My P.A., Alisha, said that there is a good chance that we could schedule my surgery date during my visit this week. That is exciting. They are so ready to be done with me…they normally don’t see someone for so long like they have seen me. I am ready to be done too, but I will definitely miss them.

My husband had a birthday on the 25^th of October (he turned 28) and I just have to take a second to share about him. We were in Houston on his birthday, once again seeing doctors for ME, when I want to celebrate HIM. The Stanfils continue to open up their home over and over and made him feel so special (as usual). We woke up to a sign and balloons, as well as balloons on our car. Looking forward to all of his birthdays to come when I am so far from all of this and attention can be given to him.

There are so many words that describe Josh, but the main one that sticks out to me and those closest to him is loyal. His loyalty to me throughout all of this is indescribable. I apologize to him so often for having had cancer, and he of course is not happy with me when I do this. I can handle thinking of my own hopes and dreams not coming true, but knowing that his are affected when he wasn’t even the one who had this disease can make my heart hurt in ways that are indescribable. His response is always the same: “I wouldn’t want to be married to anybody else.” I see other 20-something couples with happy-go-lucky lives, with babies, with exciting futures and I feel such deep pain at times that he doesn’t have that. We, in faith, of course believe that we will have that in Jesus’ name, but of course our situation has been so different than that of the typical, young, married couple. I have to believe that God has called us out and that he has such big plans for us...more than we can imagine. We continue to hold to the promise that he will restore our land, as we seek Him with all of our hearts.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile." Jer. 29:11- 14

Josh has cuddled with me, given me my shots, helped me remove fingernails and toenails (gross!), brushed out my loose hairs, shaved my head, held my hand, made me laugh, cleaned and kissed my mastectomy scars, cried with me, prayed for me, emptied my 13 drains, massaged my sore body from neulasta shots (bone pain), held a bucket for my vomit, fed me, driven me to Houston 40+ times, reassured me over and over and over of Jesus’ healing me, cleaned my back scar incisions, learned all the breast cancer terminology, dealt with my ever-changing emotions, and has made me feel more beautiful than ever before. This was my 10^th birthday with him and I realize each day just how blessed I am to be married to my best friend. God has truly made us one.

I will never forget when I got my 2^nd round of chemo and we were going to put in a DVD in our laptop to watch a movie and our wedding video happened to be in our laptop. We decided to watch it. By the end of my chemo, all the nurses were in my chemo room watching our wedding video and we were all crying. I remember when we were checking out and making my next chemo appointment and Josh looked at me and said, “I would do it all over again.” We both just held back tears as we thought about our wedding day in 2006, when we had no clue what our lives would look like. I am so thankful that I have a husband who took his promise to God and myself seriously- to be by my side, regardless, in sickness and health. Thank you Lord for giving me Joshua Mark Taylor!

"As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one."" Eph. 5:31

We had a wonderful time in Tennessee with Josh's extended family for Thanksgiving. God also gave me bits of hope in different ways during this trip. His love and care for me overwhelms me at times. Now I am home and just wrapping up with this school semester. I only have one more in-class semester...then a 9 month internship and dissertation and then I'll be done! Thank you Jesus for walking me through all of this. I will make sure and update after my appointment on Thursday as I should get my final surgery date:)

Please, please pray for me and this pain in my abdomen/ribs to stop. Pray for clean results from my tests on the 11th. Pray for me to allow God to be everything He is- He is love, and his love casts out all fear. If I truly allowed His love to cover me, there would be no room for fear. I am learning what it means to accept His freedom and allow Him to fully love me. I can make my own prison at times and lock the door behind me. I know I am not living in the freedom He gives when I do this. Thank you for praying for me. I love you all.

I have posted some pictures below of the Salon 7 fundraiser day and Josh's birthday.

With the Salon 7 girls and my awesome check

What an awesome salon and stylists!

At Josh's 28th birthday dinner

What he woke up to at the Stanfill's on his birthday

The balloons on our car!

November 2011 Re-Cap

noreply@blogger.com (Dear Cancer: My wife is one strong lady. You lose.) — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 07:45:00 +0000

We (I) have fallen behind a little on the re-cap.

If I said the month of November 2011 for us was a blur I am not sure that would be even close to adequate. I have tried to go back and read our posts and it is truly surreal to read it and re-live some of that. As I have said in other posts I believe we were protected from a certain percentage of fear due to our desire to not tie in to other peoples experiences. We knew it wouldn't be easy but if we had known what the year would look like we would have been shocked.

The things that stick out to me about that first month were obviously the trips back and forth to Houston. We also went to Thanksgiving with my family in Tennessee where we had rented a cabin. That was a neat experience but still odd in the fact that life was going on but we were living in shock.

Another huge item for that first month for me was the fact that we had a house that was about 40% finished. On one of our first trips down to Houston we were eating at Cheesecake Bistro and I got a call that became one of the biggest blessings anyone could give us. Jonathan and Tara Hill completely took over the completion of our house. I said it in an earlier post but imagine the best person in their field finishing your project, indescribable. I could go back to where I was standing during the call but I can't explain what this meant for Aly and I.

Another huge moment came at a night that Coach Robert Mitcham and Claiborne Christian School had a night to benefit Aly at a home basketball game. To say that Aly and I care about those kids might be the biggest understatement I could make. The night meant the world to us.

A little funny note about the house. I am easy to convince when it comes to my ability to save money so when I went to build this house I asked Martin West if he thought I could wire it myself and it was a very quick yes on his part. In that situation I am not one to argue so that is what I did. Each time I needed to know what to do which was often I would call and Martin would tell me the same thing he had told me before and I would hope I got it right. Little did he know his pushing me to do this in August would lead to some funny conversations in November. We had at least 3 or 4 conversations on the phone where he would call me and say, Josh do you remember what you ran (which gauge wire) to this light or that switch and all I could describe was by color. So needless to say Mr. Martin and my other friends that finished got to deal with some odd things I am sure.

What Jonathan and Tara, Martin and Vanessia and all the other people did during this time enabled me to mentally get away from everything to have a chance to help Aly. People gave me the chance to do right by Aly by them picking up where we needed help. Worry was going to be a part of our life but when people stepped in financially or with their time or talent they eliminated hurdles that made it easier for me to be with Aly.

I simply could not have been to Aly what I have tried to be without the help of other men and women at times absolutely taking hold of parts of our life.

We were never able to experience the lows that could have been possible. If we had not known that we were spiritually covered to a level that we cant explain then there would have been much less peace and sleep. Aly and I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that God was hearing request on our behalf daily if not hourly and therefor we never felt the low we could have felt going at it on our own spiritually.

When people picked up the load in our everyday life they also stopped Aly and I from being worried about making life happen on a daily basis. It was clear very quickly that if there was a need then it would be met. There were people sowing into us in ways and amounts that blew us away.

On Nov 9 I wrote about Mrs. Vanessia West being given a clean bill of health and there being no more cancer. When Aly was diagnosed it became clear to us what we had not done for the Wests during Mrs. Vanessia's treatment. As we told each one of their family members and we have said to other people, we did not show them the love we were shown or would want to show. This truly broke our hearts because now we knew what their family had gone through from April-November and how little we had done. That will not happen again.

On Nov 13 I wrote about Aly beginning to lose hair but even in that I was sure that if she were to be asked about Canaan that she would give a report that beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was ours for the taking. I do remember that time I was just in utter shock at her ability to continue living. Most of the time you find yourself in awe of peoples athletic achievements or other things but to daily be watching Aly, my wife deal with cancer the way she was dealing with it was an incredible thing.

On Nov 18 I wrote about Aly telling the Dr. she wanted less sedation for her port surgery because we had some stuff we needed to get done that day. Again, my wife is crazy strong.

On Nov 19 Aly wrote a verse that I have heard her say a lot and it is a verse I can literally picture being to Aly and it is that Aly will live and declare the works of the Lord. I believed and believe now more than every that my wife will live and will continue to declare the works of the Lord.

At the end of November we flew back from Thanksgiving to Houston to get chemo and they would not give it to us because of low ANC count. They didn't realize who they were dealing with still at this point and told us to just come back next week. That was a Friday. We were there Saturday, Sunday after church and then Monday, they didn't know it but Aly was told she needed chemo and she wasn't leaving until she got that round.

As a husband that was one of the early points of me realizing the tangible fight that my wife's body was going through.

Your blog comments comfort and challenge me...

noreply@blogger.com (Aly Taylor) — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 19:07:00 +0000

Can't believe it's been another week already. The Salon 7 fundraiser was absolutely amazing. I was able to hang out there some on Friday and it was awesome- the auction items, the food, the radio station, the t-shirts, the donations...INCREDIBLE! It was so odd to be at something that was for me. Josh and I both struggle accepting gifts from others and letting others help us with things, and this was an ultimate example of that. When I walked in on Friday, I realized that all of those people there were there for me. I feel so unworthy and have to switch that unworthy feeling to thankfulness, and that is just what I did. They raised $8,000!!!!! Yes, I didn't put too many zeros, eight thousand dollars!!!! This will cover our deductible that will be due at the beginning of the year and should cover any tests that insurance won't cover. One could not believe the weight that this fundraiser has taken off of Josh and I. We could have never imagined this much money to be raised. In the medical world, what seems like a lot of money to us is pocket change! We are continually reminded that God will provide for us. Thank you Salon 7 for helping us with expenses and just loving us enough to do this for us. I still really can't believe it all happened. I am overwhelmed at everything you guys did! You are Christ to me!!!

Josh and I went to Houston last week for an expansion and everything went well. We think that I am fully expanded on my right side, but we still have more to expand on the left. It is possible that next week will be my last expansion. My doctor also said that he thinks I could have my exchange surgery sooner than I initially thought. It should happen in March or sooner:) That was some surprising good news because we were thinking that the earliest it could happen would be March. I love when God gives me those little moments!

Thank you all for praying for my test that I had run last week. Everything came back negative, which was good, but we still don't really know what is going on. I had a gallbladder, liver, and kidney ultrasound on Monday and everything looked normal as well. SO thankful!!! If symptoms continue to persist into next week, they want to do some G.I. tests. Please pray that symptoms cease and that I don't even have to do these tests. When I have a test coming up, I can become so paralyzed with fear. I get frustrated with myself for getting to that place again when God has proved himself over and over. I still need lots of prayers for fear to cease, symptoms to cease, and complete healing.

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." Deut. 7:9

One thing that has been particularly helpful to me since October 17th is reading the blogs from a year ago on the date they were posted along with the comments. At the time they were written and we received comments, we were in "survive" mode, and I didn't really have time to read them all and let them sink in. So many of you gave us such good advice on how to seek God, have faith, and how to put my beliefs into practice. Others of you expressed your love for us, or how you were praying for us. To read what we were experiencing at the time, and then reading your responses to our pain and story is something that uplifted me at the time and maybe even moreso now. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading each post and the comments from a year ago. One person on the blog commented on how many wonderful Christian friends we have. I can sometimes take that for granted and not realize that we are the exception...WE ARE! I am so blessed by all of you...

"So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing." 1 Thess. 5:11

Last thing...one of the hairstylists at Salon 7, Jil Dasher (one of the most beautiful women I know), is participating in and encouraging a challenge called "No Make Up November." It is put on by Rave Ministries, and it encourages women of all ages to go without make-up for the month of November. Its' purpose is to bring attention to the pressure put on women to be what society calls "beautiful", rather than God's definition of beauty. Check out Jil's awesome blog and Rave Ministries' website. http://theminivantales.blogspot.com/2012/10/my-reflection.html?spref=fb
http://www.raveministries.org/

So, here's to a whole month with no make-up. Praying it gives me the opportunity to share with others about finding my true beauty in Christ. I never fully understood what that meant until I was stripped of all "womanly beauty." My breasts, my hair, my eyelashes, my eyebrows, my nails...all I had left was me. I truly think I felt most beautiful during my chemo when I came to the realization that God saw me more beautiful than ever before- fully seeking Him with my whole heart, in complete desperation. Praying I will only get more beautiful in His eyes... Join me on this month journey:)

"Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful." 1 Peter 3:4-5a.