Amanda Banana

BD010 – Wildfires (in Southern California)

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 02:11:36 +0000

iTunes-viewable multimedia version (.m4a) with pictures available here (right-click (pc) or control-click (mac) and “save link/target” to download). Or if you’re reading this on iTunes, go to the amandabanana.net site to download the version with pictures.

The full impact of the recent Southern California Wildfires is not yet known, because even this weekend a brush fire in Malibu destroyed 35 homes.

These fires happened in communities where Amanda has walked dogs over the past few years. This leads her to have a very intimate connection with the communities affected by these wildfires. The same chaparral that can be so beautiful in Spring becomes deadly in late Summer. In this diary, Amanda reflects on the history of fire in Southern California. Just four years ago, we were beset by the Cedar fire in North San Diego, which caused as much as 2.2 billion dollars in damages. It seems that history (link leads to a satellite picture of the 2003 fires) repeats (a satellite image of the 2007 fires) itself. What can we learn from this?

AB019 – Training Gone Wild! (Destiny part 7)

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 06:04:09 +0000

In this, the finale to this round of episodes featuring Amanda’s rival, Destiny, the girls go extreme. We’re stuck at the front door to a very important client’s abode, again, as Amanda tries to work out her anxiety with another round of lock checking… and checking… and checking. We were exposed to it, then the Boss Lady had to deal with it, and now Destiny learns to deal with Amanda’s kookiness in her own way. Let’s put it this way: if dogwalking doesn’t work out, Destiny probably has a future as a Dominatrix!

The Amanda Banana video podcast will be taking a brief hiatus following this episode, but we will be back soon! In the meantime, you can catch up on any episodes you may have missed, including the audio podcast Banana Diaries, right here on amandabanana.net. We’ll still be putting up the occasional new diary while we take a break too, so you can stay in touch. If you haven’t yet, be sure to subscribe in iTunes so you’ll never miss an episode (including our re-launch), or if you don’t have iTunes, subscribe to our newsletter! See you soon, and keep your pooches happy!

BD009 – An Introduction to La La Land

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 02:03:02 +0000

Los Angeles is a strange, mystical place. Thousands of hopeful strangers arrive here every month, to the horror of their families, in order to follow their dreams. We interrupt the story of Amanda and Destiny in order to shine a light on the spiritual materialism of this superficial landscape. Amanda has a unique vantage point from her dog park forays that allows her to see how the game is played. Thinking of moving to Los Angeles? Then you need to hear this.

AB018 – Celebrity Dog Poop

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:04:57 +0000

What separates celebrity-owned dogs from the rest of the pack? After all, human celebrities poop just like us. But do they ever suffer from blocked pipes? You never see celebrities making public appearances on behalf of Preparation H. So how do celebrity dogs differ from their common canine counterparts? Amanda Banana is on the case.

Amanda’s still being trained by Destiny, her rival at the dog-walking company. We previously saw Amanda’s technique for picking up dog poop in AB003 – The Poop Chronicles. Amanda’s technique doesn’t quite jibe with Destiny. Or with celebrity dogs. Especially when things go horribly, horribly, wrong.

AB017 – The Hazing (Destiny Pt. 5)

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 06:05:21 +0000

It doesn’t matter that Amanda Banana has been dogwalking for over two years. It doesn’t matter that she has two college degrees, nor that she prides herself on her excellence. Now that she’s on the verge of promotion to the higher echelon of Southern California dog clientele – the coveted celebrity dogs, she’s once again treated like dirt. The help.

Only now the person doing the treating isn’t even one of the holier-than-thou celebrity clients – it’s Amanda’s rival, Destiny. The top dog at the dog-walking agency. Just watch the trap she sets for Amanda as they walk two of the cutest dogs on earth – Lola and Bella. Unfortunately, not all dogs are cute, as we’ll find out…

AB016 – More Doggie Yoga (Destiny Pt. 4)

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 16:51:24 +0000

I think there is a conspiracy underfoot. Why won’t Animal Planet report on the cruelty facing our animals that is Doggie Yoga? Why won’t they report on how the whims of celebrities damage these pups? Why don’t they even have a news show?

In this episode, Amanda Banana dons her dogwalking detective hat to delve more into the practice that is Dog Yoga. Click the pic to play. Now in higher-resolution for users of Apple TV!

Never miss an episode! Subscribe in iTunes.

AB015 – Doggie Yoga (Destiny Part 3)

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 07:09:50 +0000

That’s right. Yoga for Dogs. You think we made this up? Think again. And again. Here in Hollywood, there are many devotees of puppy recreation. These celebrity dogs don’t merely lift their hind legs; they get their hindu on!

In this episode of Amanda Banana, she finally meets her first celebrity: band member, dog owner, alcoholic Rayne Tailor – who happens to like his dogs to do sun salutations before their walk. In Rayne’s world, “down-dog” means something totally different from “down, dog!”

Just how futile is this endeavor? Find out as Destiny schools Amanda on the proper way to assist hounds in winding down, getting grounded and realigning their chakras. Click the pic to play.

AB014 – Destiny Part Two; “Forecast: Rayne”

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 06:00:35 +0000

Amanda Banana is being trained on her first celebrity dogwalk — last week we met “Destiny,” the top-dog at the dogwalking agency. This week Destiny prepares Amanda to meet her first celebrity, and celebrity dogs. Just who is this celebrity? Well, let’s just say it’s a him. And let’s just say he has two annoying little dogs. To know more, you’ll have to watch the episode to find out. Will you be as shocked and amazed as Amanda is?

Perhaps we should change the title of this vlog to Dogwalkers of the Rich and Famous.

AB013 – Destiny (part one)

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 05:09:07 +0000

From wikipedia:

Destiny refers to a predetermined course of events. It may be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual. It is a concept based on the belief that there is a fixed natural order to the universe.

In Amanda Banana’s world, destiny can mean many things. It means that she is meant to be a celebrity dogwalker. That she deserves to be promoted to the higher echelon of Hollywood dogwalking. But sometimes, destiny does not come easy… there are obstacles in the way of destiny to be overcome. What happens when destiny collides with Destiny?

Meet Amanda’s rival.

Dog of the Month!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 04:01:40 +0000

The ~~Dog~~Cat of the Month!

Sure to piss off Dog lovers everywhere, this month our Calendar Canine is actually a Feline. Meet Miss Ginger Kitty! Ginger belongs to a make-up artist living and working in Hollywood. Here is Miss Ginger’s bio, as provided by her human:

My lil’ bestest friend came into my life 9 years ago. She was being
given away at a local grocery store by an old Russian woman. She has
proved to be the best friend a human can have, and has been there for
me in times of joy and sorrow. Her love for make-up is as strong as
her mother’s! She loves it when I put blush on her, and enjoys playing
fetch with make-up sponges!

She is quite vocal, and talks to me all the time. Her little heart
breaks when I leave, but welcomes me home as I walk through the door.
She never hisses or scratches anything, a true lady of her time. I
love her more then words could ever describe. I think it’s so
important to continue the quest to adopt those who don’t seem to be
wanted. I found the perfect treasure in someone else’s trash.

Click on the pic below to visit Miss Ginger Kitty’s profile.

BD008: The Fifties had it Right.

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 00:56:09 +0000

June Cleaver. The Honeymooners. Apple Pie and white bread. It was a simpler time… especially in the area of technology. I mean, don’t get me wrong, nobody needs a red scare or a mushroom cloud hanging over their head. But you didn’t have to talk to people as much!

Banana Diary 007 – Trade Show Puppies

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 05:54:34 +0000

Call me Amanda Banana, the obsessive puppy wrangler. This week I was asked to wrangle some puppies. What is it about ladies with big hair and ginormous diamond rings that they like to disturb the cutest of puppies? These puppies were being used like carrots on the end of a stick to attract people. And just who did they attract? Huge headed ladies and cell phone men. And the huge-headed ladies just had to touch them. The puppies, not the cell phone men. 50 times an hour, these puppies were being picked up. Just listen.

Banana Diary 006 – My Boyfriend Ran Me Over

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 05:53:15 +0000

Yeah. You read that right. My boyfriend ran me over. I’d write more, except I think that says it all. Of course, I still say a lot more in this diary. Listen by clicking on the “Play button” (the grey sideways triangle) above. Anyone out there? Feel free to comment.

Banana Diary 05 – Dog Alzheimer’s

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 03:20:33 +0000

Amanda takes us with her on a visit. Prepare to meet Harley, the dog with Alzheimers. Amanda has to practice several dog-psychology techniques on Harley in order to get him to agree to go on a walk – and truly teaches us that music hath charms to soothe the savage beast (which is actually a misquote, but we’re not the first, so there you go.

AB012 – Delusions of Grandeur

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 06:02:15 +0000

Another expose of what it’s like to be a professional dogwalker in Hollywood, California, this episode has us peeking in on Amanda in the backyard with one of her charges. It’s not easy to dogwalk – you earn very little money, but are constantly exposed to the riches and material posessions of those for whom you work. How would you deal with this?

Amanda has an active imagination that is fueled by just these circumstances. Won’t you join her in her fantasy world?

Amanda will be back next week!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Tue, 29 May 2007 18:13:25 +0000

Sorry for the delay… Amanda has had a little drama in her life (so what else is new?), so no episode this week. Please join us next week for a resumption of the petsitting chronicles!

The Banana Diaries – Adventures in Petsitting

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 21 May 2007 04:42:02 +0000

While we focus mainly on dogs (of the canine and human variety) here on Amanda Banana, it’s time to take a look at the behavior of that other domesticated animal, the feline, the cat, the kitty.

It’s a tale of two kitties: The best of times, the worst of times. Cats are known to have been human companions for at least 9,500 years. So for all you cat lovers out there, take a second and enjoy this diary entry from Amanda focusing on two of her charges. And all you dog lovers, don’t worry. They will return.

AB011 – Keep Him on a Tight Leash

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 14 May 2007 04:33:22 +0000

Amanda Banana has some words of wisdom for the ladies, and relates an experience while dog walking that led her to a realisation about men for all women – especially those that have been burned in the past by men that are indistinguishable from dogs. The good news? Leashes are cheap!

Banana Diary 3: Grey’s Anatomy

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 07 May 2007 02:33:23 +0000

The key to getting along? Liking Grey’s Anatomy. Unfortunately, Amanda doesn’t. In fact, it’s safe to say Amanda hates it.

Think she’s alone? Guess Again. There are literally dozens of people out there just like Amanda. There may even be an entire underground movement, as this quote from Washington Post TV Columnist Lisa de Moraes shows:

Good to know I am not alone — I HATE Grey’s Anatomy, to the point where I hit mute when they show a commercial for it. Grey’s Anatomy and What About Brian are absolutely gag for me. (And I too, am I woman in my early 30s in the D.C. area).

Lisa de Moraes: geesh, there’s a whole underground movement! Come out into the light, people, and let your I Hate Grey’s voices be heard…

Don’t worry. Amanda still likes Oprah.

AB010: Viewer Email!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Tue, 01 May 2007 06:28:16 +0000

We take a break from the day-to-day life of Amanda Banana in order to delve into the email bag. We hope you’ll share our enthusiasm about responding to one of your comments. We’ll be back with more stories from the curb soon. In the meantime, if you’d like to email Amanda, you can do so here.

AB009: Amanda Wins One!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 19:34:49 +0000

The conclusion of the Boss Lady saga. In Episode 06, we met Amanda’s boss lady. Would Amanda be promoted to the upper echelon of dogwalking – the “celebrity dogwalker?” In Episode 07, boss lady’s evaluation began. Amanda lost her pepper spray, lost the dog’s poop, and fell through a gate. In Episode 08, the boss lady was “re-thinking” the promotion. The stress of it all finally got to Amanda, and she took a stand – that she can be an excellent dogwalker – that she’s ready – that she’s able.

Now, in Episode 09, Amanda has a small victory over boss lady. The promotion hangs in the balance. Amanda may have won a battle – will she win the war?

AB008 – Boss Lady III: Trouble!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 23:22:49 +0000

The continuing saga of Boss Lady. Events in this episode lead to Amanda’s promotion being threatened. Can she save the day?

Incidental Music: “Thaxted” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons “Attribution 2.0

Credits

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 01:54:03 +0000

Amanda Banana is shot on a shoestring budget with nothing more than a digital camcorder, and edited on an Apple Macintosh with Final Cut Pro. The Banana Diaries are recorded to an iPod via MicroMemo, and edited on any number of multi-track software packages. Each episode is usually improvised from an outline, whereas each diary begins it’s life as a stream-of-conciousness recording.

Produced and Created by Michael Faulkner and Amanda Pajer
Directed by Michael Faulkner
Camera (Episodes 01 – 12): Michael Faulkner
Director of Photography (Episodes 13 on): Ali Allie
Written by Amanda Pajer
Additional Material:
Anne Flanagan (Episodes 006 – 009, Banana Diary 005)
Margie Simmons(Episodes 013 – 014)

CAST:
Amanda Banana: Amanda Pajer
Naomi (Boss Lady): Anne Flanagan
Destiny: Margi Simmons
Musician Rayne Tailor: Tim Guille

MUSIC:
Theme Music by Michael Faulkner
Incidental Music (Episode 08): “Thaxted” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons “Attribution 2.0
Banana Diaries Background Music:
BD001: Music by Michael Faulkner and Amanda Pajer
BD002: Music by Michael Faulkner
BD003: Music by Michael Faulkner
BD004: Music by Amanda Pajer
BD005: Music by Michael Faulkner
BD006: Music by Michael Faulkner, guitar played by Marc Bernasconi
BD007 and on: Music by Michael Faulkner

AB007 – Boss Lady II: Shit Happens!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 01:36:45 +0000

The continuing saga of the surprise Boss Lady visit. Amanda is being watched closely to see if she’s ready for the bigtime – the “celebrity dogwalking division.” Every step she takes is being scrutinized. Will the mysterious Boss Lady find it in her heart to promote Miss Amanda? Stay tuned.

Also starring the inimitable Buster and Ella as this week’s dogs!

To comment on this episode, click here, and be sure to scroll down!

Amanda Banana Episode 06 – Boss Lady

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 05:08:23 +0000

Amanda Banana is surprised by her boss lady. Could this be her big break? Or could it spell doom to her dogwalking career?

The dogs guest-starring in this episode are two of my favorites — the inimitable Buster and Ella!

AB005 – Things I Hate (by Amanda Banana)

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 02:18:25 +0000

See, your job isn’t so bad. At least you don’t get stung by bees. Or get peed on. Cheer up. Because no matter how bad you’ve got it, Amanda’s got it worse.

Banana Diary 02 – People Talker

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 23:30:17 +0000

Why Amanda became a dogwalker. A personal, insightful moment.

AB004 – Personality Quirks

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 04:31:07 +0000

Finally. An explanation of the word “Obsessive” in the Title. Amanda demonstrates the personality quirks of those near and dear to us. As always, we’d love to hear from you.

The Banana Diaries – Episode 01

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 07:47:25 +0000

Click on the play button (the triangle) above to play! If that doesn’t work, you can always click the download link above so you can listen to the file in your own audio player on your computer.

The dark side of Amanda Banana’s moon. Introducing the Banana Diaries (audio only), an inside look into the banana mind. Fans of NPR should appreciate this. Amanda discusses cellphone etiquette and the modern packaging of information.

Amanda would love to hear from you!. You can email her or subscribe to her mailing list. If interest warrants, we may launch a skype-line in the future. Stay tuned — new episodes or diaries every Monday.

AB003 – The Poop Chronicles

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 07:25:32 +0000

You knew it was coming. Poop. Doodie. Doo-doo. Doggie dookie. Poo poo. Hershey squirts.

Remember, you can subscribe in iTunes or at Feedburner.

iTunes problems… SOLVED!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 06:36:39 +0000

Amanda apologizes for any inconvenience caused by problems subscribing and downloading in iTunes. We had a mime-type problem. It’s fixed now. However, if you’d like to subscribe in iTunes you’ll have to delete your current subscription and resubscribe from the iTunes store in order to fix it totally. Otherwise, iTunes will continue to think already-posted episodes are incompatible. Again, sorry for the inconvenience. It only cost your admin about five hours sleep to figure out how to fix.

Contact

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 04:53:44 +0000

Click here to email Amanda! She would love to hear from you. She has a busy schedule, so can’t reply to everyone, but if you have a need for advice on dealing with the pets in your life (from boyfriends to husbands), she might just answer you in a video!

Click here to email the Site Admin for questions concerning the website, video posting permissions, etc.

Thanks for visiting!

AB002 – The Backside and the Downside

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 04:47:26 +0000

This is EPISODE 2 of Amanda Banana. See below for EPISODE 01!

You think your job sucks? Meet Amanda again. In this episode, Amanda discusses the disses she sometimes gets on the job, thanks to the fact that her pants fall down. It’s hard, serious work being a dogwalker. Not everyone pays you the respect you deserve. Sometimes the pets don’t do as they’re told. Sometimes your thong shows. It’s all part of a day’s work.

Remember, you can subscribe to Amanda Banana. She’s also available on iTunes (just search for Amanda Banana). If you like the show, please review and rate it on iTunes. Amanda welcomes your comments!

Email Amanda!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 06:14:04 +0000

It’s now possible to email Amanda. Or, feel free to leave comments on the episodes or posts via the blue link below each post title. Go ahead. You know you want to!

PS: There’s a new episode coming soon!

AB001 – An Introduction

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 09:54:07 +0000

She’s arrived! Meet Amanda Banana, the quirky, obsessive dogwalker. Get to know her personal philosophy. If you’d like, send her a question or two! If you enjoy this episode, you can subscribe to Amanda Banana.

About

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

She’s on her way. She’s a little bit insane. She walks dogs and sits cats for a living. This teaches her a lot about people. You can ask her about any problem behaviour you’re experiencing with the “pets” in your life – husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, bosses.

But don’t expect her to go all new age on you. She’s less Cesar Millan and more Dr. Laura – although unlike Dr. Laura, Amanda Banana has nothing against people that are gay. After all, her favorite person in the world is Pippi Longstocking.

Amanda Banana Credits

Amanda Banana is coming soon!

mfpod@sbcglobal.net (Amanda Banana) — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

But don’t expect her to go all new age on you. She’s less Cesar Millan and more Dr. Laura – although Amanda Banana likes people that happen to be gay, which should make Cesar Millan very comfortable!