Girl on Fire

Why We Do What We Do

2014-07-13T09:11:00.001-07:00

Sometimes people ask why I do what I do, and over the past couple days I've gotten a great reminder. Life can be hard and tough and crazy and sometimes we all need to remember why it is that we are on the path that we are on.

After a long day of work yesterday and and my looming early morning wakeup call this morning, Saturday night called for a chill night, which in my opinion, are some of the best nights. Luckily my sister was in the mood for the same and tagged along for the evening. We decided on a new (to us) dinner spot, Grazie, which turned out to be fantastic. A cute, quaint wine and pizza bar, the evening monsoon was rolling in and we couldn't have asked for a better atmosphere to take in the clouds and some comfort food (the pizza was actually amazing!). We talked about life, laughed, and were just sisters, not Co-Owners of a balloon company for a few hours, which was so nice and so needed, as it is easy to get caught up in just work day to day.

Grazie pizza (yum!)

Post-dinner we decided to catch the new Keira Knightley movie, Begin Again, at the only theater we could find it playing at, the older, more indie theater, Camelview in Old Town Scottsdale. On the drive over, we spotted Steph's old stomping grounds, Sprinkles, where she used to work, and would routinely bring home Sunday night treats for our family dinners. "Do you want to?" Steph asked. It had been soooooo long since we'd had our once weekly tradition. "Of course!" I responded, and we had just enough time. Debating on which flavor of cupcake to get as we stood in line (I usually stick with my favorite red velvet, while Steph is a little more adventurous), I couldn't believe what I saw. I gasped so loud, I'm pretty sure everyone around us heard, but I didn't care. In the middle of a sea of regular dotted red velvet cupcakes (if you've been to Sprinkles you know what I'm talking about) was one with a cactus decoration on it. It felt so sentimental to me I could barely contain it.

My gorgeous Mom with her cactus cupcake

A couple of years ago in the middle of Fall, my Mom and I went to visit Steph while she was working at Sprinkles, and of course support the business (we had to right?!). I remember it like it was yesterday, my Mom and I waiting in line to see Steph, watching her with her bright, smiling face helping customers. My Mom was so proud of her daughter, and I was proud of my little sister. We each bought a cupcake from her and my Mom got a cupcake with the cactus decoration on it. I've never seen that decoration in Sprinkles since, literally for years...until yesterday. It was like my Mom was right there with me, reminding me what's important, and that my sister and I are carrying out her vision. I am so unbelievably lucky to get to see and work with my sister, and best friend, every day, and am so happy to have had my Mom for the time I did. My Mom and sister are the two people who I'm truly bonded with for life, my family. We might be small, but we are a family, and my Mom will ALWAYS be a part of that, whether down on the ground or up in heaven soaring the skies with the angels. She was, and is, the best thing that ever happened to my life and I can only hope to be half the woman she is.

My cactus red velvet cupcake from last night

Mom and I at Sprinkles visiting Steph

I teared up even as I went to sleep thinking about the sign I had that day, and looking at old photos, missing my Mom. Before I knew it my alarm was going off at 4am, and I didn't feel like moving. Sleep sounded so good, but we had a big group that I had been working with for months flying this morning, so I knew it was important to be out and about with the balloons. When I arrived I got bad news, weather wasn't looking good. My worst nightmare! I really hate disappointing people, especially with things that are out of my control, like Mother Nature. It was a mutual consensus that it was windy and there was a good possibility of canceling the flight. I cringed. We all went out to the launch site, 6 pilots, 16 crew and our group, and guess what? We flew. The winds calmed down, gear was unpacked and we got 6 balloons of smiling faces up in the beautiful sky.

This morning's flight

It clicked, this is why my Mom did it, and worked so hard, for those smiling faces and for our family. And that's why I do it. It's definitely not always easy, but my Mom, sister, our great passengers, amazing pilots, office staff and crew, you make everything worth it - keep being the awesome people you are :)

Sorry

2014-01-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

2013 was undoubtably the craziest year of my life. What I had deemed the "year of fun" turned out to be a year full of the highest highs, but also the lowest of lows I have, and may ever, experience. It's funny how it takes something so major to make you realize that the little things don't matter, to forget the past, to let go of the grudges you've been holding, to just let the small things just go - like am I really mad that the barista made my drink wrong? Am I really getting upset with my sister over something so insignificant? In the long run, there's no point in getting worked up, there are so many bigger things to get frustrated and upset about. I know if I looked back on all the times I took the little things in life too seriously, I would wish I wouldn't have been so stubborn or fought so hard over something that really doesn't matter, and just breathe and be happy.

Happiness is so fascinating isn't it? It's like a drug - it's so great when you have it, and you want it so badly when you don't. This year I've tried so hard to stay happy - some days are better than others, and most days I do pretty good, but today in the midst of a perfectly fine day I lost my happiness. I saw someone who I had hurt in the past, and I just haven't been able to bring myself to say sorry to. Tonight I found myself void of words, with the most horrible, anxious feeling in my stomach. I wanted to say sorry, but I just couldn't. I know I need to but I can't, why can't I just do it? I saw this person and just quickly turned the other way. Through this past year I've learned so much about myself, about who I am and who I want to be and I want to dedicate this next year to becoming the person I want to be - the person on the inside that I would like, that does the right things, is thoughtful, someone my Mom would be proud of. In doing that, I need to say I'm sorry to anyone I have hurt, recently or in the past. You don't have to accept it, but please know that causing hurt is never my intention. And to this one person I saw tonight, you know who you are, please accept my sincerest and deepest of apologies - you are a smart, beautiful and kind woman and I am so incredibly sorry for any pain that I may have caused you. You are a better person than I am, and I am truly, from the bottom of my heart, sorry. Until I find the words to tell you in person, please take this apology with you - I hope it means something.

Me Time

2013-11-17T07:48:00.001-08:00

It may sound stupid, but every day one of the main things I look forward to is going to the gym. Though I go, of course, for my health and to stay in shape, my real motivation to go each day is to clear my head. My time working out is my de-stress time - my 'me' time - where no one can call me, there's no one to answer to, I can't think about anything that happened that day - it's just me, my body and my sweat. I usually don't feel like I got a good workout or really cleared my head unless I'm pushing myself all out, I can hardly breathe, and what I'm doing is really a challenge.

So as you can imagine, when I started taking yoga, this was a challenge for me - no cardio, no rushing yourself, relaxing your mind, focusing on your breathing, holding poses, lengthening muscles - this was all new to me. There is a class every Friday at 5:45pm which works pretty well with my schedule, so I thought I'd give it a shot - it'd be something new for my body and mind. At first I felt like I didn't fit in with all the 'yogis', and while I'm used to being advanced at most things athletic, I was starting in the 'beginner' poses, it was challenging and sometimes frustrating stabilizing yourself to hold some of the poses, I didn't understand their yogi lingo - you get it, I was out of my element. After pushing myself to go for a few Fridays in a row, I really started to enjoy yoga, and started to get better at it. I think it's the competitor in me - when I find something I'm not great at, I want to be great at it - to prove to all those people who say "I can't". Can't is not in my dictionary and never will be. Through consistently going more and working on my practice, I have actually begun to enjoy the weekly yoga sessions.

This past Friday I was so excited to leave work a little early and get to the gym to sneak in some cardio before yoga - as stupid as it sounds, I was looking forward to it all day. I actually left the office when I planned to (which never happens!) and I was on my way to start the weekend off right. One speed bump in my plans? Two accidents as I was driving home a.k.a an hour and a half commute to the gym. I was so unbelievably frustrated - I never get to leave work early, I've been skimping on my workouts lately because I've been working or tired, the one time I finally make time for myself this happens - the list went on and on. Needless to say I didn't get my pre-yoga cardio in and was rushing to even make it to yoga. Once I finally got to the gym, I threw on my clothes, put my hair up and was about to race up to the class when a woman stopped me. She came up to me and said, "I see you here every day, and I just want to let you know seeing you here every day, your dedication to being here, it really inspires me. There are so many things that get in the way, and it's so easy to say I don't want to go, but you really inspire me to be here and I just wanted to let you know". Of course, I graciously thanked her and told her that she made my day and we went our separate ways. I was in shock - me? I inspired someone? This put a huge smile on my face and I just let the worries of the day go. In the grand scheme of things, me being late, being frustrated about things out of my control, does no good for anyone - why should I waste my time being upset? I ran up to yoga, and it had just started - I made it! I set up my mat, threw off my shoes and joined in. I let everything go and just let my body and breathing take over, and you know what? It was the best yoga session I've had to date - it felt amazing.

What I learned from this? To not let the little frustrating things in life get to me - you only live once, and when all things are said and done, that moment won't matter. Though it's hard, there's no point in dwelling on things you cannot change - you can only move forward and upward. This also made me realize that I should not lose faith in people - you always hear about crazy things in the news and everything else, but there are still good ones out there - you just have to find them!

What is your de-stressor? I'd love to hear and try them out!

Living Like It's My Last

2013-07-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I lost my mom unexpectedly to a freak plane accident, undoubtably the single hardest thing I have ever had to deal, and cope with, in my entire life. The funny thing is my mom loved flying - at the time of her passing she was actually on a training flight, studying to get her fixed wing pilot's license! Each week all I would hear her talk about was how many training flights she was going to do and how excited she was for them. She is and was the most fun-loving, strong, adventurous and contagiously enthusiastic person I have ever had the pleasure of having in my life. She is my inspiration on the kind of person I want to be, and the thought of her motivates me to get up and keep pushing through each day.

People ask if I'm scared of airplanes now, and without a hesitation my answer is "no". I think some are shocked by this, but you had to know my mom to understand she NEVER let fear deter her, she lived in spite of fear. And you know, I think she's happy the way that she went - doing what she loved, young, and with one of her close friends and co-workers. If I was going to go, I think that's how I would want it. She is always with me, my angel, helping me through each day - inspiring me to do what I think I can't and push my boundaries. I've found a new lease on life through her, and want to do all of the things she never got to, and things I personally have thought about, but maybe been too scared to do in the past. So maybe it's corny, but I've started a bucket list for my mom and I, and I hope this inspires at least one other person to do the things they have always wanted to do, because we've all heard it, but this has shown me how short life really is.

So here is my personal bucket list (which is constantly growing!) - let me know if any of you have bucket lists too!

Visit the pyramids in Egypt
Drive a Nascar race car
Randomly choose a destination at the airport and take a trip
Skydive
Visit Thailand for the Chiang Mai Yi Peng Sky Lantern Festival
Give someone deserving an unexpected $100 bill
Fly first class
Create my very own recipe
Write a book
Buy a pair of Christian Louboutins
Take my sister on a trip (I was going to do this for my mom for all the trips she's taken us on)
Become fluent in another language
Learn to sew clothing
Kiss in the rain
Go to India

Inspired in 2013

2013-01-02T06:18:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure about you, but I'm typically not one to make new years resolutions, as when they come to mind I think of the first month of each year when the gym is packed with newbies looking to get healthy for the new year and the following month when they have cleared out and gone back to their non-gym-going ways. It depresses me in a way, to see people with such motivation in the beginning let it fade and revert back to old habits. So when a friend of mine asked if I was making a new years resolution this year, I immediately responded, "No". "Why not?", they asked, obviously hearing the cynicism in my voice. "I just don't make them", I replied, in my typical over-sharing avoidance conversation style. This friend proceeded to tell me about each resolution they had made over the past few years and how they followed through with each, sounding so genuinely happy and proud of what they had accomplished, and excited to make this year's resolution. I guess I had never heard the other side, the few that actually stick with it and keep their resolutions. It was refreshing to hear that people with motivation and determination were around me, I had just been making assumptions (which I try so hard not to do!). And thus, I was inspired. So, for 2013 I am making a few resolutions and putting them out there for the world to see, so hopefully I can inspire someone, like this friend has inspired me, to work towards and achieve your goals.

Resolution #1: Give Back
Every year I find myself wanting to do something to give back to society. Whether we realize it or not, each of us is blessed in so many ways - personally, I have all my limbs and am not physically restricted, I have no mental disabilities, I have a roof over my head, a job, a car, food to eat each day, etc. It is so easy to take each of these things for granted, and forget about those who have not had the same opportunities, or been as fortunate. Each year there seems to be an excuse that gets in the way of me actually volunteering and giving back ("I'm too busy", "I don't have time"), but guess what? Excuses can be made for everything, and I'm not making excuses any more.This year, I am vowing to dedicate a minimum of 1 day a month towards volunteer/charity work, and am truly looking forward to it.

Resolution #2: Get Out Of My Comfort Zone
I've been slowly reading the book, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, over the past year, in an effort to make myself the happiest I can possibly be, and have learned a lot. Research presented in this book reveals that challenge and novelty are two key elements of happiness. Rubin says, "This is one of the many paradoxes of happiness: we seek to control our lives, but the unfamiliar and unexpected are important sources of happiness...The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. If you do new things - visit a museum for the first time, learn a new game, travel to a new place, meet new people - you're more apt to feel happy than people who stick to more familiar activities." So, in an effort to be my best, and happiest self, this year I am going to say yes more, take more risks, try new things, and explore all the different things this beautiful world has to offer.

Resolution #3: Dedicate Everything to My Business
A couple months ago I left my job at Dillard's as an Assistant Buyer to start my own personal shopping and styling business. It was a tough decision, but something I thought would personally fulfill me, and a place in the market where I feel that I can bring value. I've been working towards opening ever since I left Dillard's, but it has proven to be a lot of work, and taken more time than I had expected. That being said, even though it is tough and requires a lot from me, I want to put everything into my business this year. Personal styling is something I am so passionate about and if I don't give this my all, I know I'll regret it. This is the year for me to give everything I've got, no matter how scared or overwhelmed I may be.

So here's to 2013, a new year full of opportunities!

I'd love to hear if anyone else has been inspired like me and hear about your resolutions - leave me a comment!

Xmas Lust List

2012-12-13T06:33:00.001-08:00

So every year I come up with a list of things I'm lusting after , just in time for Christmas ;)

And this year is no exception! I've scoured the Internet and all my favorite stores to come up with the 2012 'most lusted' items I'm still drooling over. I figured I'd share this with you all in case you haven't yet found the perfect gift for the fashionista or special lady in your life - hope it gives you some ideas! I'm so frustrated though because I went through and made each lust item clickable to take you directly to the link to purchase, but it doesn't work in Blogger :( Tragic.

Needless to say, here it is! And here are the links to purchase each item (listed from top):

Victor & Rolf Flowerbomb Perfume

http://www.sephora.com/product/productDetail.jsp?skuId=1233139&productId=P255506&_requestid=25071#!keyword=VIKTOR%20%26%20ROLF%20Flowerbomb%20P255506

Michael Kors Rose Golden Oversized Chronograph Watch

http://www.michaelkors.com/p/Michael-Kors-Michael-KorsRose-Golden-Oversized-Chronograph-Watch-ROSE-GOLDEN/prod4760009_cat35801_cat35701_/?index=10&cmCat=cat000000cat145cat35701cat35801&isEditorial=false

MacBook Air

http://www.apple.com/macbookair/

Victoria's Secret Peep-Toe Platform Pump

http://www.victoriassecret.com/shoes/pumps-and-heels/peep-toe-platform-pump-colin-stuart?ProductID=61351&CatalogueType=OLS

Lululemon Forme Herringbone Jacket

http://shop.lululemon.com/products/clothes-accessories/women-jackets-and-hoodies/Forme-Jacket-Herringbone?cc=9268&skuId=3474279&catId=women-jackets-and-hoodies

Kate Spade Pop Fizz Clink Silicone iPhone Case

http://www.katespade.com/pop-fizz-clink-silicone-iphone-4-case/PSRU1039A,default,pd.html?dwvar_PSRU1039A_color=651&start=93&cgid=holiday-gift-guide

Sweetheart Coral Peplum Top

http://www.nastygal.com/clothes/sweetheart%2Dpeplum%2Dtop%2Dcoral

Bruno Mars 'Unorthodox Jukebox' CD

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Unorthodox+Jukebox+%5BPA%5D+-+CD/7015959.p?id=2616256&skuId=7015959&st=bruno%20mars&lp=7&cp=1

Karmin 'Hello' CD

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Hello---CD/5289571.p?id=2441152&skuId=5289571

Nike Free Advantage Training Shoe

http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/?l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-1/pid-665835/pgid-463215

Python Spiked Knuckle Clutch

http://www.nastygal.com/accessories/python%2Dspiked%2Dknuckle%2Dclutch

Letting go

2012-12-03T06:36:00.001-08:00

The other day I was asked by a friend of mine, and dad to two young girls, if my parents being divorced really effected me, as he and his wife had divorced a couple years prior and he was nervous of the toll it would take on his children. Undoubtably I told him, "It was for the best". I think he was a little shocked, as I suppose this isn't your typical response. But the truth is, as hard as it can be to see, sometimes two people might love and care for each other, but they aren't meant to be together forever. I was talking to my mom the other day about when her and my dad first met, "It was magical", she said and smiled, "We had so much fun together, we would go jogging together, go on trips, he was always surprising me with flowers and different things, we just loved being with each other". Though they truly loved and enjoyed each other in the beginning, everything that is good doesn't always last. During my childhood there were lots of screaming matches, disagreements and in general just not good things between my parents. I remember when they were together it worked like clockwork, every holiday or special day there was some kind of fight that ended with them yelling at each other and someone leaving. It was heartbreaking, really just devastating. It seemed like every day that was so special to everyone else, always ended badly for our family. Even though it's been years since they've been divorced, I was reminded of how bad that feeling of having a special day go bad hurts yesterday.

My mom, sister and I had planned to go pick out a tree, decorate it and just be with each other last night, something I was really looking forward to as we haven't gotten to see each other as much as we'd like to lately. All I know is that the two of them had some kind of miscommunication/disagreement and I was caught in the middle, with both sides telling me what they thought, saying we won't be having a Christmas tree this year and all kinds of things. Just like so many years before, that feeling came back and cut deep, I felt so hurt, and still do. It felt just like before.

As I've gotten older, I've tried to let the small stuff go, things that are irrelevant in the end, just let them be, and sometimes I wish everyone else would too. Was a small disagreement worth ruining that special night? I don't know, but if it were me, I'd try my best to move forward, no matter the disagreement. Not that anyone is right or wrong, that's just how I feel. I don't really know what I'm trying to accomplish with this post, I think it's more for me than anything. I don't really like opening up and talking about things, I guess this is my way of letting everything out and letting go.

So I guess what's done is done, I'm taking my own advice and moving on and forward, I'm hoping everyone else can too.

Mom, Dad and Steph, I love you.

Turning 25

2012-08-22T08:00:00.003-07:00

I didn't really know what to expect, how I'd feel when I turned 25. Some people say they feel old, some say they reflect on their accomplishments, what they've done, what they have yet to do. Realizing that I am officially an adult (bittersweet :/) I trailed off into thought, am I happy with where I'm at in life? Am I where I thought I'd be at 25?

Thinking back, I remember when I was younger, even during my tomboy years (it's more of a spirit than fashion statement now ;) ) I always knew that I wanted to do something creative and always had an interest in music and fashion. I had an eye for spotting what was right, what looked good whether it be clothing, decor, you name it. My childhood dreams were to be either a singer or an apparel buyer/boutique owner (though I'm not sure I used that lingo then ;) ). I can't believe how far I have come from then, and how life has a funny way of taking you through so many chapters to get you to where you are today, what you are supposed to do. Though I don't have it all figured out, I'm happy with where I am. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would actually become part of an apparel buying operation, and am so happy I had the focus and drive to get here, and had fun while doing it. Who knows where life will take me in the future, but I am proud to say that I am proud of where I am and how I got here.

But career is only a part of your life, what I think is most important, is family and friends. For my 25th birthday, I wanted to throw a big party where all the people I love and care about could just come out and have a great night, and boy were my expectations exceeded - but not without a ton of work! I remember the initial idea coming into action, my mom, sister, boyfriend and I all swimming in the pool and the thought popped into my head - "I want to have a big birthday party". My mom and sister looked at each other, as they know when I say big, I mean big, which can only mean one thing - lots of work and money. We talked through what I was thinking, and the circus party was born. I didn't want help from anyone, as I wanted it to be an easy and enjoyable experience for all (oh, and I have a problem asking for help). I had grand expectations, like I always do, but underestimated the work it was going to take to put my ideas into motion. A few days after the party was conceptualized I started looking for a DJ, bartender, some kind of performance act, decorations, etc. This was all really fun, but soooooooo much work, while working 8am-6pm(ish) followed by going to the gym, which had me getting home at 9pm most nights. I had to do things little by little, which was hard for me, as I'm a big fan of knocking things out all at once. Once I had the DJ, bartender and what ended up being a fortune teller, stilt walker and fire show all planned out, we had a trip to Europe planned for a week, with still a ton to do for the party. Though it proved challenging, I ended up ordering a bunch of the party decorations online, including fluffy red hanging decorations, custom food labels for the 'sweets bar' (from etsy - they have a ton of cool stuff! www.etsy.com), lollipops, candy bags, red and white swirled straws and more set to arrive upon my return. I had all the elements in place by the Thursday before the party (which was on Saturday, the day before my actual birthday) by the grace of God (this was in the midst of being sick and losing my luggage for 3 days), and all that was left was to execute the day of.

That Saturday, I went to the gym in the morning, (it was killing me not going while I was sick), packed up my stuff and headed to my mom's house where the party was going to take place. Once I unloaded everything I was a little uneasy as there was a ton to do and it was already 1:30pm, with the party set to start at 9pm (which means me getting ready at 7:30pm). My mom had said that she would help with setting everything up, which I initially did not want to involve her in so she could just relax and have a good time, but I needed her, and nonetheless asked for help. The two of us moved furniture, set up the clown nose (beer pong) pong tables, assembled and hung decorations (which were not sticking to the stucco walls outside - cue the momentary freak out), started on the sweets bar and before we knew it it was 7pm and the DJ showed up to set up. My mom and I, sweaty and makeup-less, rushed to get the last few things in place and my sister and her friend Julia showed up and helped with throwing everything together last minute. I hopped in the shower, got ready really quick, and before I knew it the bartender was in place, DJ set up, decorations hung, sweets bar set, fortune teller and stilt walker ready to go and the doorbell rang.

Everyone arrived and the night went better than I ever could have hoped for. The stilt walker greeted everyone and walked them to the backyard where the party took place, we had drinks, danced to the great music, played clown nose pong, ate some cracker jacks and animal crackers from the sweets bar, took pictures, laughed, got our tarot cards read, enjoyed the surprise fire performance, ate cake, talked, and just had a spectacular night. The stress of the day, and weeks planning was totally worth it, and completely forgotten. The best part of all was seeing that everyone was having a good time, and spending time with all my friends and family that were able to attend. I looked around the party and thought - this is what life is all about, what more could I ask for? I am so amazingly blessed to have each and every one of these people in my life, and call them my friends and family. I have never had the feeling that I had at the end of the night, when everyone was leaving, I thought, honestly - I don't want this night to end, I want to be in this moment forever. It was 100% one of the best nights of my life, and one that I will never forget.

So when I think about turning 25, I'm filled with a sense of accomplishment, proud of where I am and what is to come, and most of all, so happy to have each and every one of you as my friends and family - you all make life worth living.

So here's to you, I can't wait to spend the next 25 years of my life with you guys!

Much love!

Happiness

2012-06-07T22:39:00.000-07:00

What does happiness mean to me? I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
It started a few weeks after I took my new job at Dillard's as an Assistant Buyer - the hours were long, the work unfamiliar and I was frustrated because I wasn't catching on right away - I thought, will this job make me happy? What does make me happy?

Around this time I was at the airport, grabbing some food before boarding a flight, "two tacos please", I said to the cashier at the takeout taco shop, "it's going to be about 10 minutes", he responded. 10 minutes, hmmmm...I was starving and had a long trip ahead of me, my hatred of waiting momentarily subsiding, "ok thanks, I'll wait right over here". I sat down next to a woman, mid-40's, dark hair, whom I did not have the intention to talking to, being the semi-antisocial being that I am, but before I knew it she started up a conversation. Turns out she was in town taking her son on tours of college campuses, my having a degree from ASU came up, and we actually hit it off and had a great conversation, which doesn't happen that often. She told me that her son was also considering his father's alma matter, to which I replied, "I'm sure he's happy to hear that". Seconds later I looked up and saw tears well up in her eyes, "he actually passed away". Wow did I feel like a horrible person. "I'm sorry, it was just a couple months ago", she said, looking down at her wedding band she was still wearing, "it's crazy too because he did everything right", now more tears building up, "he ate right, exercised, he was all about health". She went on to tell me he had cancer. I wanted to reach over and hug her and cry with her, my eyes welled up too, and I felt so horrible for saying anything - I could tell this was so incredibly painful for her. I did my best to soothe her, but knew nothing could take that pain away. My tacos were ready minutes later and I gave her a hug and said goodbye - it amazed me that such a nice person could be dealing with something so horrible.

This woman, who's name I don't even know, really had an impact on me. She made me realize that, though we say it all the time, life really is too short. You never know when your time will come, and when it does, can you say that you lived a happy life? That you lived to the fullest?

I was inspired to remember what really makes me happy, those great little moments that make all the not-so-good ones worth it, so I made the list above. I hope it inspires you to think of what truly makes you happy, to do more of it and not to sweat the small stuff. I've also started making a bucket list, but I'll have to share it later - it's a work in progress!

You've only got one life, so make the best of every moment!

Amanda Lately

2012-03-31T21:27:00.001-07:00

It feels like forever since my last blog post, and that's probably because it has been! So much has happened in the past few weeks that it feels like I have barely had time to breathe! Here's a summary of the latest...

Being sick is the worst. I hate the feeling of being confined to one place for an extended period of time, breathing the same air, watching the same channel for hours on end, not being active for hours and hours. It may sound alright to the non-sick, but not fun, especially when you don't feel well. It began Thursday with a sore throat, feeling stuffy and a headache, and went to the doctor Friday afternoon only to find out I have the flu :( Antibiotics, rest and lots of fluids were the recommendation, and it's been so hard to abide by! I attempted to go to the gym this morning (I love my gym time!) which was a fail, after about 15 minutes of my normal Saturday morning workout I felt super exhausted and just not good, so I came home took a long shower, got some breakfast and have been resting and drinking as much water and Emergen-C as humanly possible since. One perk - finally having the time to catch up with you guys! Hopefully I'll be better for Monday though because...

What are the odds that I got a job IN fashion IN Arizona?!!?!? I am happy to say that I am the newest Assistant Buyer at Dillard's regional office in Gilbert, AZ. I started three weeks ago, and it has definitely been a whirlwind! Although fashion and buying is fun, I don't think I fully realized how much goes into being a buyer - it's long hours (8am to 6 or 7pm M-F and sometimes Saturday), lots of numbers and Excel and just a ton of hard work, but I'm looking forward to seeing a full season through and seeing the results of all the hard work! I am happy that I am so blessed to have found an opportunity in what I want to do in Arizona close to my family, friends and boyfriend. Speaking of boyfriend...

First things first, I think it is important to understand my personal view on relationships. I'm not one who has always dreamed of getting married or having a man or husband, that is just not who I am - that being said, I'm not really sure if I want to get married, now or in the future, I'm just not sure it's for me. I think I have this view partly because of my own parents volatile relationship when I was younger (they are now divorced), but also because I'm not sure that I believe human beings are supposed to be with the same person for forever, or maybe I'm just a crazy bitter woman! Who knows! I do not say that to preach that that is how everyone should view love and relationships, but Matt and I have been together four years and always get asked when we are getting married or taking the next step so I think this is important to understand.

I'm not sure either of us thought really in depth before about living together because it has never really made sense for us until now. Our first and second year together I was still in college at ASU, the next year we lived 50 minutes from each other because our jobs were basically on the other side of the planet from one another, and last year I was in New York going back to school! Whew, it's easy to forget what a crazy few years it's been! But after I found out about my job being literally a 3 minute drive from Matt's house, it finally made sense. It's taken some getting used to (where things go, how we like things set up) but I feel like we are finally to the point of comfortably living together and enjoying seeing each other every day.

This is a new chapter in my life - a new job, taking the next step with Matt, and I am excited for what is to come! It's crazy how life has a way of working itself out, and I think that what I've really learned from these past couple months is to always remember that everything happens for a reason. A missed opportunity, a breakup, whatever the case is, may hurt at the time, but sometimes out of that hurt comes joy and something even better than you could have imagined.

Thanks for listening and coming along with me for this new step in my life!

Fishing

2012-03-02T12:28:00.002-08:00

I always enjoy doing new things, discovering new places and finding new hobbies, and the past few weekends I've taken part in all of the above. Having never really fished before, the other weekend Matt brought up that his Dad was going to a lake in a development where he used to live as a kid and asked if I wanted to come. Eager to test out my new, lovely camera, as well as get some sunshine (yes, it is 75 degrees in Arizona right now) I obliged. I remember going fishing once as a kid with my Grandma's friend Frank (we called him Frankie) and it ending in disaster before it even started, with me swinging my pole and hooking, yes, a human being, Frankie, and not a fish. Traumatized by the experience, and not wanting to kill the fishies (I don't eat fish anyway!) held me back previously (or maybe the fact that I did not have another invitation, nudge, nudge) but not now, fishing here here I come! Matt and his Dad lent me a fishing pole (a baby spincasting one) and set me up with a new lure (aka grub aka jig, who knew there were so many names for one thing!) and off I went. I was instructed on how to cast and threw my first one out to the water. Upon Matt noticing that my line was not going out very far, he corrected my 'fishing form' and taught me how to use my wrist instead of my arm to better leverage my casts. Thus, my pro-status fishing began. Not really, but hey a girl can try! After a few hours of casting and reeling, followed by more casting and reeling I finally caught my first fish! I was so excited and scared at the same time, as I didn't want the fish out of water too long so it wouldn't die! Matt and his Dad and inspected the fish (just a little guy) and congratulated me on my first catch. It was actually fun to get my first fish, and then set him free again. Ever since then Matt and I have gone almost every weekend back to that same lake. There's something about fishing, not just fishing, but the water and ambiance that goes with it. It's so peaceful being outside, breathing fresh air, talking with friends and family. It makes me feel free, like nothing else in the world matters - no jobs, cares or worries, just you and the water. I'm glad I gave fishing a shot and hope to find more hobbies that make me feel so good!

Get ready for bikini (or board short!) season...

2012-02-25T11:28:00.000-08:00

Lessons from the Grammys Red Carpet

2012-02-13T20:44:00.000-08:00

Disappointment

2012-02-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

So I didn’t get the job. It’s out, whewwww. Though it hurts, it feels good to say it and be honest with myself. Looking back I think, isn’t it funny that I actually thought Express would offer me a real, corporate, big time fashion job? And that I might move to Ohio? Ha! I had all the confidence in the world, and everything with my Ohio interviews went great, so I guess what hurts the most is just feeling like I’m not good enough. I told Matt (the bf) before I got the news that what would really disappoint me is if I didn’t get the job after meeting face to face with my potential future employers, because I feel like I bring so much to the table, and am such a hard worker with a huge drive to succeed, that anyone who met me would get that and want someone with those qualities working for them. I wanted to show all of those employers who never opened my cover letter and resume that I am worth something and I would be an amazing addition to any company. Well, I obviously didn’t do that. I feel like I’m kind of in a rut of feeling like no one will ever want to hire me, like I’m a failure. The whole sending out cover letters and resumes thing gets pretty old after a few weeks, though it does have its perks (gym, tanning, nails and Facebook at any time I’d like). I’ve been trying not to get depressed lately but it is so hard. It just flat out sucks when you can feel something in your hands and so easily have it taken away. I also feel like I just wasted a couple weeks with phone and in person interviews and not really focusing on looking for other jobs. Ugh. I need to stop being so mopey!!

I spent last week working on my last blog post (see below) on the Top 5 Online Shopping Hotspots (did you guys like it?) and looking for and applying for jobs. Though I did find a lot of prospects, I know not to get my hopes up because a lot of them just won’t get back to you. Also, all of them are located outside of Arizona – there are many I found in New York and LA, one in Seattle, one in Texas – everywhere but here! I figured that would be the case, and it sucks to be faced with that reality. I guess Ohio wouldn’t have been that bad. Oh well, moving on! I guess that’s all there is to do – move on and suck it up. I do think that now I want something even better than Express, and maybe this happened for a reason. This experience has given me, though a hit in my confidence, more drive to really want something, the best, for myself. I know that I am worthy of my dream job, and I need to really do whatever it takes to get it.

So here’s to finding the best and being your personal best, and realizing that when someone (or something!) knocks you down it only makes you stronger.

The search, and journey, continues. Cue the Taylor swift music.

Top 5 Online Shopping Hotspots

2012-01-30T11:28:00.000-08:00

Hello World!

2012-01-23T18:58:00.000-08:00

For all of you who don’t know, I am Amanda Long, a fashion-obsessed, travel loving, health and exercise nut, basketball fanatic and new blogger. I decided to start writing a blog as a way to not only document my life and adventures, but also to share my tips, tricks and latest news on all things beauty, fashion and health, because I love and obsess over these things, oh and because I’m at the gym 7 days a week reading fashion and celeb magazines and my brain is oozing with random knowledge (no I’m not bitter ;) ).

A little about me…

Before I begin my blogging journey, I think it’s important to throw out some key info about me as a person. I’m a recent graduate of the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City with a degree in Fashion Merchandising Management and have a previous degree in Business-Marketing from Arizona State University (Fork ‘em Devils!). I recently moved home from my Manhattan studio (my lease was up) to Scottsdale, AZ (my hometown since I was 4 years old) to find a job in the fashion world! It’s been challenging as the industry is pretty cutthroat, but I’ve got a few prospects brewing. I’d like to stay in Scottsdale, because my family, friends and boyfriend are all here (oh, and did I mention the 355 days of sunshine?!), but Scottsdale doesn’t afford very many fashion opportunities. That brings me to my next point, boyfriend. My boyfriend, Matt, and I have been together for 4 years, and he is my soul mate <3. He gets me and understands me like no one else, and I have no doubt that we will be together for many years to come, however, the whole moving-if-I-get-a-job thing throws a wrench in things, as Matt isn’t really in a position to move to a different state. But love triumphs all right?!?! So we’ll see how that goes. Other than that, I’d say that I am a very family-oriented person (love you mom and Steph!), can come across as shy sometimes, I love to try new things, and am generally a happy and energetic person overall (doesn’t it take more energy to be negative than positive?!). So in a nutshell, that’s me! Shall I move along?

Now

I’m currently on a plane, listening to my iPod (is it cheesy that I’ve got Britney Spears on? I mean the new album was pretty sweet.), Columbus, Ohio-bound for my fourth interview for an Assistant Buyer position with Ohio-based Express (well, the technical name is Assistant Merchant, Men’s Sweaters). I’ve already spoken with HR, my potential boss, Michelle, and my potential boss’s boss, Jamie, over the phone regarding the position, and so far so good, so tomorrow I have meetings with nine, yes, nine people at Express as the last step to determine if I’m a fit for the position and if I like Express and Ohio. The next song on my iPod is Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off by Joe Nichols…interesting. This job opportunity is literally a dream job for me, something I’ve wanted since I can remember, so I’ve been prepping, reading GQ to get in on the latest men’s trends, checking in on fashion forecasting sites like Fashion Snoops and Donegar to see what trends they are predicting for Spring 2013 and revisiting my resume and LinkedIn page. The major question I’ve been asking myself though is, do I want to move away again? And do I want to live in Ohio? I’ve never been to Columbus, or any part of Ohio for that matter, and have no idea what to expect, except my iPhone tells me it will be in the 40 degrees range. It’s a really hard spot to have to choose between a career and relationships/overall happiness. I know I’d meet people in Columbus, but will they really take the place of my family, friends and boyfriend in Arizona? I know when I was in New York for 2011 I just wasn’t as happy, because I missed them so much, even though I was working in corporate Burberry and Lacoste and going to a school I loved. On the other hand, it could only be a year or two in Ohio, and I could deal with that for my dream job right? But what happens after that? Being grown up sucks. We’ve moved onto rap on my iPod, Certified by Glasses Malone and Akon, how old is this song anyway? Another potential life chapter opens today, only God knows what will happen! Thanks for coming along for the ride :)

Over the next couple weeks I’ll be adding beauty tutorials, fashion ideas, health tips and more as well as update you on my journey!

Stay tuned…

Amanda